Turns out the future is scary.
You are the constant of my future. Not that I take it for granted, but it's nice to know at least one characteristic of my future.
You are my future.
I know that and it's scary because I've always imagined myself as a National Geographic Explorer always around. But now that I'm actually facing my future, you look tastier.
I think it's the stability in general. I want a place where I can start a musical project knowing that I'll be here every step of the way. I want a pottery group, a woodworking group and a bookclub. I want all the boring stuff I never thought I would seek, but after year of insecurity I want stability.
I want to have a HOME.
I want to claim all of the furniture I left at my parent's. I want to plant trees and watch them grow. I want a dog.
Now I understand the struggle to be an Explorer. No Explorer has a stable family and now I know that I want it.
It's scary though. To understand that everything you wanted in you life (adventure and exploration) has changed. I still want those things, but they are accessories now. I just want to feel home.
I want adventures and exploration, but I want a home and a job where to get back to.












