𝒪utlaste.

eternal ruination and endless devouring

[outlaste]

the world might indeed be a cursed circle; the snake swallowed its tail and there could be no end, only an eternal ruination and endless devouring. 𖤓 a private multi-muse. do not follow first.

entwined with @outlives, @iabyrinth, @valheys, @algorithymn / @assetgray / @matriarclair, @manenuf, @self-1ess, @antiquare, @lieability, @trashics & @hoodred.

[outlaste]

“Do not give me the silent treatment.” 𖤓 @valheys.

The request punches at a softer part of her, winds her in a way she is unable to quite understand. The ghost of their friendship had extended a careful hand towards her, makes a too sensitive petition for Alicent's voice and Alicent does ought but usher it away with artificial composure, slow-blinking it out of sight as an invisible string pulls her spine tight, lodging her pride between the knots of her vertebrae. Her expression remains unchanged. Years at court, years of being a King's wife had taught her that whatever hurt, whatever indignation rattled her, whatever soreness sought purchase between her ribs it wasn't a show for anyone to witness. It was the only thing that had ever been truly hers. She was a master at smoothing over before the feeling ever even touched the surface, her only betrayal being the way her fingers clasp at the fabric of her own skirts. Alicent momentarily wonders if honesty would be the correct avenue. She could talk about how every conversation with Rhaenyra feels like reopening a pus-weeping wound; how she tires of reconciliation when there is always a next thing; how she can no longer find the great love of her life in the face of the person Alicent had come to despise; how every attempt they make at bridging distance only serves as a reminder of how impossible a feat it is. She tires of her own feelings, her own grief. So she shares nothing.

“Have we not exhausted all conversation?” Alicent wonders aloud, her energy audibly depleted. She cradles her wounded righteousness like a baby bird, unable to admit towards even the slightest piece of responsibility for the shattered wing of their misunderstanding. She masks her stubbornness with reason; “What remains to be said?” As if there weren't apologies to be portioned out between them, compromises or concessions to be made. A parley, or a ceasefire. Except she refuses to wave her white flag first; an apology or confession feeling much too close to giving up ground.

[outlaste]

“You said this wasn't a date. It feels like a date.” 𖤓 @redfieled.

He suddenly feels his cheeks burn as she calls back to an earlier conversation. Now, with food laid out between them in the core of a barely-there safe-house, it felt it quite could be. It wasn't the nicest of places. Leon had seen far better amidst bygone missions. But the quiet that slotted between old stories and the flimsy excuses of not keeping in touch felt comfortable, never demanding something from either of them to fill it. He isn't sure when it started to feel this way. He isn't sure he wants to acknowledge that it had. Leon opts for plausible deniability. Scoffs for good measure. “You must've been on some strange dates.” He muses into his steaming noodle box, chopsticks poking around at the slippery shapes as he shakes his head. His hunger seems suddenly sated, distracted by the rather daunting term date that had been thrust into the oppressive air thickening between them. Leon's throat protests against the resolute swallow, constricting awkwardly as the need to fill the silence finds itself lodged there too. He clears his throat subtly, eyes fixed to the red stamp of the takeout logo as he wades through a sea of possible conversational starters, and yet finding himself without clarity. Does he join in with her extension of jest and camaraderie, or move on entirely? Leon continues to pick at the vegetables between the noodles, doused in sweet soy, without any intention of raising another mouthful to his lips. Adjusts how he sits, cross-legged on the ground across from her but now suddenly raising a knee to rest a forearm against. “How does it.. hold up against other dates you've been on?” Leon asks finally, the words awkward and misshapen inside his mouth as if he's borrowing them from someone else entirely.

[1liv]

LEE MYEONG-RO as ALLEN in BLOODHOUNDS Season 2

[outlaste]

🏳️‍🌈 Actually I want a snippet about nam and tae tae

Send 🏳️‍🌈 + a muse to get a head-canon about a facet of their queer identity.

Ohhhhhh, boy.

K. Nam-gyu. Nam-gyu's sexuality is less a conscious acknowledgement of 'I like men', and more 'I need to be chosen by someone, anyone.' Nam-gyu's bisexuality cannot be separated from a simple desperation to be wanted. It's an unhealthy mix of abandonment/rejection issues and hero worship. While he's capable of being attracted to both men and women, his relationships with men tend to run deeper, messier, and far more psychologically loaded. He gravitates towards strong personalities and charismatic figures, often mistaking his own admiration, dependence and devotion as something that runs two ways when anyone can see that it doesn't. His attraction is deeply tied to validation being chosen by someone he respects consumes him, and he'll latch on to that feeling and that person, especially when it's toxic. He's very easily manipulated by men and women alike. He can acknowledge physical attraction to women without much difficulty, but even that quite often appears like peacocking to fit in amongst his peers. He'll comment on women's appearances, make jokes. However, attraction to men threatens everything bit of the mask he has tried to build. He seems outwardly dismissive of queerness and would quite often deny same-sex feelings, whilst simultaneously centring his entire emotional and physical world on a particular type of man.

K. Tae-young. Tae-young's attraction to men, and particularly to Ji-woon, sits at the centre of his life for real. His feelings for Ji-woon are borderline obsessive, hugely idealised, and deeply parasocial: Ji-woon doesn't know he exists. This is far less a conventional crush, and more a physical fanaticism with someone openly queer, handsome, and both confident and happy within his own skin. Of course, he leapt at the chance to mimic Ji-woon through AI, and redirected his project somewhere he felt safer: a woman. Returning to my point Tae-young, being the youngest son, had always known what it felt like to grow cold in a perfect brother's shadow. He grew accustomed to following behind him, adopting expectations that were never truly his own but something to compare to the favourite. By the time he was old enough to understand his attraction to men, he'd already become an expert at compartmentalising his really inconvenient feelings. It would have only been another disappointment to his parents. So now, rather than express desire towards other men openly, Tae-young redirects it into admiration and creation, building feminine likenesses where he never has to risk being seen for what he actually wants. *Coughs* MiNA.

[leneemusing]

 SOME MORE SMUTTY MEMES 

[ SIT ]  for one muse to finger the other who sits in their lap fully clothed,  keeping an arm around their waist to make them stay still. 

[ RISK ]  for one muse to drive and finger the other who is in the passenger seat. 

[ DISTRACT ]  for one muse to drive while the other gives them head/fingers them. 

[ WATCH ]  for muses to cuddle on a couch while watching tv and one of them begins to finger the other but stops every time they make too much noise. 

[ SUBTLE ]  our muses are cuddling,  sender begins to feel up receiver and tease them. 

[ STILL ]  our muses are cuddling,  receiver begins to feel up sender and tease them. 

[ GUIDE ]  while one muse is riding the other,  the one being ridden takes hold of the one on top’s hips to control their movements. 

[ CLOSE ]  our muses have sex in lotus position,  clinging to each other desperately.  

[ GAZE ]  our muses are having sex in missionary and the one on the bottom tells them to slow down so they can just look at them for a few moments. 

[ DELAY ]  one muse is trying to get ready to go somewhere while the other keeps kissing them and unbutton/unzipping their clothes. 

[ CAREFUL ]  one muse is recovering from minor injuries,  so the other takes charge and makes them stay still while they have slow,  sensual sex. 

[ REVERENT ]  one or both muses have been pining for a while,  sender body worships receiver by kissing all over their body and giving them oral. 

[ GRATIFICATION ]  one or both muses have been pining for a while,  receiver body worships sender by kissing all over their body and giving them oral. 

[ MESS ]  our muses are supposed to be cleaning up in the shower after sex,  but sender starts to finger receiver. 

[ RESTART ]  our muses are supposed to be cleaning up in the shower after sex,  but receiver starts to finger sender. 

[ CLEANSE ]  our muses have sex in the bathtub. 

[ TENSION ]  one muse is patching up the other’s injuries which leads to intense eye contact,  lingering touches and them finally crashing their lips against each other’s. 

[ DISCUSSION ]  for our muses to talk about kinks and figure out their boundaries together. 

[ APPROACHED ]  our muses haven’t been intimate yet and sender finally broaches the subject to receiver  (  feel free to add dialogue or actions  ) 

[ APPROACH ]  our muses haven’t been intimate yet and receiver finally broaches the subject to sender. 

[ SUGGESTIVE ]  our muses are hanging out and end up on the topic of turn ons,  kinks,  and what they’re attracted to. 

[ GROUND RULES ]  for our muses to discuss boundaries before trying something new in bed. 

[ OBSERVE ]  for sender to show receiver where and how they want to be touched. 

[ DEMONSTRATE ]  for receiver to show sender where and how they want to be touched.

[ LINE ]  our muses are supposed to only be pretending to be together for a mission or fake dating,  but they keep going and neither one of them is stopping which leads to them hiding away to have sex.  

[ DEBATE ]  our muses are arguing because sender is worried and overprotective of receiver,  but when they get up in each other’s faces they end kissing and groping at each other. 

[ CLAIM ]  our muses are arguing because receiver is worried and overprotective of sender,  but when they get up in each other’s faces they end up kissing and groping at each other. 

[ SENSUAL ]  for sender to slowly undress receiver,  caressing and kissing every part of them they expose. 

[ GRADUAL ]  for receiver to slowly undress sender,  caressing and kissing every part of them they expose. 

[ SERVICE ]  our muses just showered together,  sender dries off receiver with a towel and kisses each part of them they dry as they go. 

[ CARESS ]  our muses just showered together,  receiver dries off sender with a towel and kisses each part of them they dry as they go. 

COMMUNICATION

❝  well,  honestly i’ve never really had sex before and was kinda hoping you would teach me.  ❞

❝  i’ve never tried that before.  but i want to,  can we just take it slow?  ❞

❝  don’t be nervous,  i’ll guide you through it.  ❞

❝  just because i’ve never actually fucked someone doesn’t mean i don’t know what i like.  we have toys for a reason.  ❞

❝  show me what you like.  ❞

❝  can we take a break?  i’m enjoying this i just need a moment.  ❞

❝  can i be on top this time?  ❞

❝  can i be on bottom this time?  ❞

❝  just relax,  lie still and let me take care of you.  ❞

❝  do you think we could try pegging?  i’ve always been kinda curious.  ❞

❝  you can blindfold me but i want my hands free if we do that.  ❞

❝  let me know if the ropes are too tight,  okay?  ❞

❝  i think i’m ready.  if you are too,  i wanna have sex.  ❞

❝  listen,  i’ve wanted to get you in bed since you first smiled at me.  but we don’t have to do this unless you’re sure.   ❞

❝  i’m ready,  but we should set some ground rules first.  ❞

❝  can you use your mouth again?  i really liked that.  ❞

❝  do you like how this feels?  ❞

❝  yes,  i like this.  can you just—  please keep doing that.  ❞

❝  i don’t want to be touched this time,  i just want to focus on you right now.  ❞

❝  i prefer to do the giving if that’s okay?  ❞

❝  i like receiving but,  if you want me to do something i will.  i want you to feel good too.  ❞

❝  you can go harder.  i’m okay,  i want you to.  ❞

❝  i don’t want to have to think or have control.  just,  do what you want with me.  if something is too much i’ll let you know.  trust me.  ❞

❝  do you need me to slow down?  ❞

❝  what can i do to make you more comfortable?  ❞

❝  i know this is really vulnerable for you,  so we can take this as slow as you need.  you’re in control here okay?  ❞

❝  can you just kiss me for a little bit first?  ❞

[outlaste]

🏳️‍🌈 + Ryuji ^_^

Send 🏳️‍🌈 + a muse to get a head-canon about a facet of their queer identity.

Ryuji is queer in a very 'straight' kind of way. It has no aesthetic, intrinsic need for community or conscious identity. He's not dramatically closeted, he's just oblivious to his own feelings a lot of the time. He behaves much like how he is with heteronormative relationships, he doesn't often feel sexual or romantic attraction, but when he does, it develops almost fanatically. Attraction, at first, is not something he immediately recognises it is something almost propelled by negative feelings. For example, it's usually wanting to be around a specific person all the time and feeling quietly agitated when they spend quality time with other people. It's illogical jealousy. It's feeling scorned. He's slow to realise what exactly that is though attraction for him will always follow that same sort of pattern.

[outlaste]

A month late plotted starter. 𖤓 @prettygirlcleanup.

Scott had stood at the very edge of the massacre when they found her, no longer able to tell where one street ended and the next began. The geometry of the city was all wrong collapsed, broken, dulled beneath a dull red lens that meant he could only imagine the blood. The thin, spectral breaths of wind whipped up ash at his feet, a haunting reminder that their worlds would keep turning even as this one nation was wiped from the charts. He remembered how suddenly vast it all looked, how empty. The number sixteen million didn't fit inside his head, too large to fathom. Too much to feel anything besides a crushing weight of undue responsibility. Now, Scott sat outside the infirmary, the mansion encasing them still perfectly in tact. The silence gripped onto the walls as though it prevailed to mock, rather than to offer peace. He tried to ignore the cold, steady whirs of machinery beyond the frame, how much it scratched at his skull as it traced out the proof that something had survived that place through the measured hums and monitored peaks. Entering felt like an unendurable hardship, the white-washed room clinging to reminders of ill health and regret that he knew he'd have to confront sooner or later. He had lead the X-Men into warzones, made difficult calls because that was the role. That was the expectation. As leader of his, it demanded from him the kind of resilience that Scott sometimes mused upon wistfully, swinging back and forth between whether or whether not he really possessed the strength anymore. But he did. He simply had to, for all their sakes. And yet, this pressed hardest. It was just a room, just a bed. Perhaps carrying with it an intimacy that was less clinical and more personal: a face to the political failures, a body that only summed a small pocket of the loss. He takes a deep breath and enters, painting on enduring stoicism as he passes the threshold a comfort or an irritant, he was sure to soon find out.

“How are you feeling?” Scott asks sympathetically, a foot barely inside the room for the guilt quickly overwhelms. He keeps the conversation diagnostic, medical. Not quite yet ready to therapise the other, and he's sure Emma would rather he didn't attempt to either.

[outlaste]

“I don't need your pity. I don't need you to be my therapist.” 𖤓 @outlives.

“Dean, I ” He feels himself becoming frustrated, a sudden rush of blood setting at the crease of his brow as it pinches the bridge of his nose. This is where the strain in their estranged relationship seemed to become most apparent: when they talked. There was too much unsaid between them, something Sam suspects will haunt them in years to come, but Dean was very much a closed book a leather-bound journal with a latch. And the key swallowed. He was a little too much like Dad in that way, avoiding a sincere conversation as though it would open him up to hurt, like swinging first in a fight. Sam had been the generational breakthrough, seeking normality through college and career endeavours, the family's youngest the coach for the elders. He'd tired of it. He'd tired of his maturity outpacing theirs, mediating frank discussions that had turned nasty in the heat of it. He'd tired of feeling his mother's ghost wafting through the bones of a barely-there home, watching, muted, from every dark corner. Sam was an outlier if there'd ever been one, and even as he studies Dean now, he realises he's stood with his father's double. He purses his lips, recalibrating his thought process before he really does become frustrated and sends Dean into contempt an emotion far worse to face than his fury. “I don't want to be your therapist.” Sam finally settles on a permissible response, something he hopes won't make Dean sprint in the other direction. He figures he's about two words away from sticking two fingers into his ears and la-la-la-ing his way out of the conversation, which would only tend to send Sam to an early bed. He pauses, a twitch on his lips as he tries to ease the tension that has started to draw taut like a bowstring between them. “Believe me, I don't want to get inside your head.”

[outlaste]

also im doing affiliates lmk if u wanna be on there :]

[ilya-rozanova]

PRISONERS (2013) | dir. DENIS VILLENEUVE

[notmorbid]

off-campus: season 1.

dialogue prompts from the first season of prime's off-campus.

you are intolerable.

do not give me the silent treatment.

nobody is expecting you to be _____.

take a shower. you smell like shit.

it'll come back to you. like riding a bike.

did anyone ever tell you that eavesdropping is rude?

has anyone ever told you your references are dated?

i'll pick out your outfit, you just do your makeup.

i plead the fifth.

i am always telling you to wear your jacket. you never do.

how do you suddenly know my name?

you can't just kiss me out of the blue.

you blush whenever i come near you.

get over yourself. i don't blush.

my single ass needs another drink.

this is the part where i tell you all the things i want to do to you when we're alone.

you're just giving me the bed because you feel bad for me.

i wouldn't know who i am without it.

you centered me.

you're overthinking. get out of your head.

you can put me down now. we all know how much you can bench.

i don't need your pity. i don't need you to be my therapist.

what if i'm broken?

if you're going to chase an impossible dream, chase one that actually matters.

this party's kind of dead, right?

are you driving, or shall i?

i think people can change, if they want to.

if i go, will you come with me?

you can't let the bad memories erase the good ones.

do you never have a shirt on?

people who care about you will understand. if they don't, they're not your people.

you said this wasn't a date. it feels like a date.

god, it's so hot when someone knows what they want.

this is a party. parties are supposed to be fun.

stop fucking with my head.

i'm a girl. i have to think about what everybody else is feeling before i can figure out what i'm feeling.

don't think. tell me what you want.

you scare the shit out of them, you know.

look how hard they're trying to please you.

you really can't be alone, can you?

can we hit dairy queen on the way home?

i can't take on anyone else's stress today. i'm emotionally raw. i'm a shell of a woman.

i don't know what your problem is, but i suggest you do whatever it takes to work it out.

we have to cling to the people who see us and smile.

just let me know you're okay.

we're on the same team. don't you get that?

don't you want to know what being single and slutty has to offer you?

let's start with the small stuff and work our way up, okay?

you didn't do anything wrong.

it has recently come to my attention that i'm a serial monogamist.

i'm actually so proud, i could cry.

what kind of _____ do you want to be?

have fun. do stuff just 'cause you want to.

i told you to stop opening my mail.

who says print media is dead?

i don't want you to look at me differently, or treat me differently.

i always knew. i just thought you'd tell me when you were ready.

you're not just one thing. you're everything.

the words will come when they come.

you reminded me of who i used to be.

you could be anywhere, doing anything, but you're not. you're here.

hey, look at me. i got you. i got you, okay?

i don't want to be that guy.

you're not as dumb as you look.

stop being chicken shit and tell _____ how you feel.

i know i said i was dropping out, but can i maybe drop back in?

i couldn't miss your big moment, could i?

i want to be more like you.

[outlaste]

gonna post my muse list tomorrow <3

[outlaste]

okay so here is a temporary link as promised because im too tired to redo my pinned rn so ENJOYYY

[outlaste]

having a horror moment