birds and beers

a collection of quotes from a bio lab

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An average human poop is equivalent to 100 hummingbirds.

A completely unnecessary comparison

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Oh no, I'm wearing my communist socks!

Grad student as they're taking off their shoes at the door of the department head's house for a work related reception.

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Sports analogy: put the thing in the thing!

A discussion on sports rules during a soccer game.

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The hooker reaches in, grabs the ball and brings it to the back.

An explanation about rugby positions

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How do you fix a controversial fish? With formaldehyde!

On the subject of a controversial paper on fish metabolic rates.

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BEST PUMPKIN AWARD 2017

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We need transistors right now!... It involves pumpkins and vodka.

On a failed quest to find transistors for a pumpkin carving competition.

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Let's shotgun them right now!

Upon receiving a delivery of 3 PBRs at 1pm

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I'm risking a dirty joke here, but I've had a lot of things in my mouth for a long time and they never suddenly tasted sweet.

A discussion about whether all carb-based foods would eventually taste sweet if you held it in your mouth long enough for the salivary amylase to break down the sugars.

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No one loves ranch more than me! (proceeds to drink directly from the ranch bottle without hesitation)

A lunchtime critique about the appropriate quantity of ranch allowed on food.

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I once found NBOR in a saw-whet owl by feel.

The best brag you've ever heard

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I want a horseshoe up my butt.

A conversation about being born lucky.

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Student 1: Those are called nanoshorts... Or picoshorts! Student 2: Yeah, something is probably pico-ing out. Student 3: Asphalt! Tectonic Plates! Crack! Volcano! Faults!

A conversation following the sighting of a girl on campus wearing VERY short shorts.

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Macaroni and lettuce pancake slider with chocolate peanut butter and siracha flavouring.

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How does a centaur take off its pants?

Group lunch discussion

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You eat the lentil fetus and you will no longer be food.

Lunchtime discussion about cannibalism and vegetarianism.

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MURICA! - Our American lab members