you can be upset about it but for the love of god keep your thoughts to yourself

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@outofcontextjohnmulaneyquotes
you can be upset about it but for the love of god keep your thoughts to yourself
I am very small, and I have no money. So you can imagine the kind of stress that I am under.
THE HORSE IS LEAVING THE HOSPITAL
I REPEAT THE HORSE IS LEAVING THE HOSPITAL
January 20, 2021
I hate that I fully understand this
inspired by this post
john mulaney has checked into rehab. here’s what we are going to do:
• support him
• wish him well
• respect his privacy
here’s what we are NOT going to do
• make jokes because addiction is not funny
• speculate anything about his marriage or personal life
• attack those in his personal life (*ahem, leave anna alone. don’t go asking pete davidson for details. none of that)
addiction is a serious disease, and while this news may be troubling, i am so proud of him for seeking help. you can too.
I’m like an iPhone. It’s gonna be worse versions of this every year, plus I get super hot in the middle of the afternoon for no reason.
You know for years scientists have wondered… “Can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’-It’s not unusual”?
My wife is a bitch!
John Mulaney said Tuesday that he was previously investigated by the Secret Service over a joke he made on "Saturday Night Live" that many i
Some highlights from the article:
"In February, I did a joke that was not about Donald Trump,” he said. “The joke was about how it was a leap year and the leap year was started by Julius Caesar to correct the calendar, and another thing that happened with Caesar was that he was stabbed to death by a bunch of senators because he went crazy. And I said that’s an interesting thing that can happen.”
After being cleared by Secret Service, Mulaney ended up relocating to D.C. for a year as his wife took a position with the Smithsonian in D.C.
“I failed to realize that after telling the Secret Service that they had nothing else to worry about, I had leased an apartment for one year in Washington, D.C.," he joked. "And that apartment was across the street from the Secret Service building. So, it had a planned vibe to it."
John Mulaney said Tuesday that he was previously investigated by the Secret Service over a joke he made on "Saturday Night Live" that many i
JOHN.
Roughly 1000 of you asked: Did you lie about your age when Princess Diana died?
This is so passive aggressive I’m actually losing my shit
Good to know were all super original on this website 😂
the horse really is in the hospital now
You know for years scientists have wondered… “Can you make grown men and women weep tears of joy by playing Tom Jones’-It’s not unusual”?