Out of Context Pagan Quotes

A blog for all the funny out of Context nonsense pagans get up to. SUBMISSIONS ARE OPEN

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

"Go take a shower. I'm not kissing the goat man again."

-Mod Ren's bf

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

Click here to support Help Kieren Pay For Top Surgery organized by Kieren Blom

After what seems like forever waiting, I am finally getting the opportunity to have top surgery. However, there are costs associated with th

Hey everyone!

I'm mod Ren and I have finally gotten the chance to get top surgery! However, I'm kind of slightly really broke so I'd like some help with the expenses.

Any donation is greatly appreciated and feel free to share this around!

[cyhyreath]

When my friends keep asking for a relationship reading.

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

Well, that’s not good for their relationship.

“It’s upside-down, though. Do you read upside down?”

I don’t.

“Oh, yeah, that’s not good.”

-during an online free one card reading @tarotwithtitania

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A PIG IN ELEUSIS  WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A PIG IN ELEUSUS WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A PIG IN ELEUSUS EARLY IN THE MORNING

THROW IT IN THE SEA WITH ALL YOUR BAGGAGE THROW IT IN THE SEA WITH ALL YOUR BAGGAGE THROW IT IN THE SEA WITH ALL YOUR BAGGAGE NAKED FOR POSEIDON

NAKED FOR POSEIDON NAKED FOR POSEIDON NAKED FOR POSEIDON EARLY IN THE MORNING

Experience whatever the fuck this is at Spring Mysteries Festival 2019

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

'I had so much saltwater in my vagina'

On being a wet sea priestess

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

Hello everyone, 

I am poor.

Please check out my new blog, tarotwithtitania, for free and private tarot readings.

Much love and stay pagan!

-Mod Ana

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

‘I wanna watch Hercules, I need my gods to save me” 

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

At this point in your life, everything you do is just a trial run. Until you're 27. Then you need to get your shit together.

Freya

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

Pan keeps all of his blood in hammerspace!

-Mod Ren

[moghedien]

Artemis and Apollo are 1) archery gods, 2) twins, and 3) immortal so they definitely regularly just shoot each other in response to like, bad puns and other incredibly petty shit

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

“Here I am freezing my sweet pagan titties off...”

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”Do you ever want to sage an entire child?”

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“No summoning gods in the bathroom! I poop in there.”

[moghedien]

Apollo: Sister, what are you the goddess of?

Artemis: *lounging by a spring on piles of deerskin surrounded by three dozen naked girls with a dead pan expression* Virginity.

[frislander-deactivated20220305]

“Heracles, they’re lesbians”.

[boatiechat-blog]

Note that the concept of “virginity” in Ancient times merely meant “unmarried”, and had nothing to do with sexual activity. Some priestesses were “virgins” because they chose (or were committed to) a life of worship, but it was merely a question of social status, not of personal choice or practice. Of course, one can suppose that this lifestyle would be rather attractive for lesbians. So when Artemis is said to be the Goddess of Virgins, it is meant to be understood as “Goddess of Unmarried Women”, or, quite possibly literally, of lesbians.  (It’s only Christianity that reframed the concept of virginity to mean “never had sex”. Many ancient religions has “Virgin goddesses”, which symbolized feminine power, and in this case too it meant “untied to a man”, or “whole for herself”)

[devotionalmurmurings]

Me, squinting at my depression: Not today fucker!

Loki, from the next room: YEAH! Not today, fucker!

[outofcontextpaganquotes]

“What’s in your pants?” “KNOWLEDGE!!!!”

-Thoth to Potato Mod