Bucky Barnes by Melloria358
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@outofcryo
Bucky Barnes by Melloria358
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HAPPY BIRTHDAY SMARAGDBIRD
If I don’t got you… I don’t got anything
HEY that's MY emotional support morally ambiguous misunderstood full of trauma touch starved yearning for love drenched in blood responsible for numerous atrocities comfort character who is TRYING & u will TREAT them with RESPECT
she angy.
inspired by this
THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER (2021) 1.01 New World Order — dir. Kari Skogland
SEBASTIAN STAN as BUCKY BARNES CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR (2016)
SEBASTIAN STAN ✧ BUCKY BARNES THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER, 2021 Episode Three — Power Broker
Well, you never know. You might want to go all “Godfather” on somebody else. Is it weird that I found that attractive?
Yes.
SEBASTIAN STAN ✧ BUCKY BARNES THE FALCON AND THE WINTER SOLDIER, 2021 Episode Three — Power Broker
Jemma emerged from her bunk to get ready for the day, not looking out for others. She was just naturally always someone who woke early unfortunately. Jemma was still considering how she could attempt to make it up to Sergeant Barnes as she stepped back out out into the common area.
It was only when she was coming back from the shower that she noticed Bucky. She made no acknowledgment of him and could only hope he hadn't see her in her pale pink dressing gown and matching shower slippers with her hair in a towel turban.
When she reemerged from her bunk, she was bright eyed and bushy tailed, as her Dad would say, as she went to the kitchen to make her usual cuppa and toast.
She didn't acknowledge him but she did hear his tablet and zeroed in on the sound. Once she'd fixed her tea and jammed her two pieces of toast, she moved to sit close enough to him to talk but not crowd him.
"What are you watching?" she finally asked before taking a bite of her breakfast.
Bucky noticed Jemma getting up and moving around, though when she didn't appear to notice him (and when she clearly didn't want to be noticed), Bucky kept his attention on his tablet and the documentary playing before him. He wasn't sure if his stiff reaction yesterday was the cause of her sudden avoidance, or if she just didn't like to be disturbed in the mornings. There had been so much commotion and action happening during the mission that Bucky wasn't entirely sure what kind of sleep schedule anyone actually kept.
She clearly had a routine though. Shower, dress, breakfast. All of it done quietly. Even the toaster seemed to clicker quieter when she put down her bread.
"A documentary," he answered, when she sat down on the couch. Bucky shifted slightly on the floor so he could actually see her as more than just a shadow shape in his peripheral vision. Nudging the edge of his tablet a little so she could see the screen as well, he added, "On the Voyager space probes."
"There were off hand comments that a few handlers made over the years," he explained with a small shrug. "There was always someone who was interested or excited about space travel and exploration. The moon landings, and observers sending back pictures of the planets, the landers on Mars. After what happened in New York that excited chatter got a lot more serious."
"That was Dr. Simmons here," Skye announced with her usual lack of tact. Jemma could only look at her with disdain.
"I didn't mean anything! I mentioned that the camera would scan his facial legions for documentation but, as Skye has let me know now, it affected him in a way I didn't understand," she explained with a sigh.
She still had trouble trusting Ward but Coulson and Skye vouched for him to this day. She could put it past her that he had helped route out Hydra from SHIELD even if he had waited for months, or years, to tell anyone.
"But you're right. I just don't know how to explain or apologize," she sighed as she leaned back, crossing her legs. "I want to help without seeming pitying. I want to be there without seeming like I'm coddling. It's a fine line I'm trying to walk but.....I'll do it! He's been a hero of mine for years!" she stated without thinking, which set Skye's ears off.
"A hero? How so?" she asked, taking advantage of Jemma's inebriated state. "Just...who wasn't fascinated by the Howling Commandoes?!" Jemma exclaimed, missing the look between Ward and Skye saying they had definitely not been.
"I admit, after Peggy Carter, Bucky Barnes was my favorite, even before Steve Rogers," she said, her voice growing softer as she lost herself in her past thoughts. "He was always a tortured soul, as far as what I read. Drafted into the war then suddenly a Prisoner of War? It's monstrous! Not to even mention..." she sighed, finally remembering herself and her ethical duties. "I've had a few too many. Ignore me," she finally said as she stood, "Have a good night you two," she stated as she made her way towards her private cabin.
She needed to sleep this off and then find a way to gain the precarious trust she had with Bucky.
He didn't hear everything, actually he could hear most of what was being said in the living area. But he did catch Jemma's exclamation of 'I didn't mean anything!' through the layers of insulation and construction. After that it was just the low hum of voices that he could easily tune out. Whatever it was they were talking about, Bucky had a feeling he was the subject of at least some of it.
He stayed up in the little shelter he'd found, scrolling through another article on modern historical events. Catching a few hours of sleep tucked away where no one was likely to find him.
When he did eventually go back up to the common area, it was very early in the morning. The battery on his phone had died and his stomach growled for food. It drew him into the little kitchen area where he toasted up a couple bagels with cream cheese and the last of the sliced turkey on the side. Leaving his phone plugged in to charge in his cabin area, he'd taken his tablet and gotten settled at one of the tables.
Sitting cross legged on the floor, his breakfast spread out before him, and his tablet balanced on the centre piece. He had a documentary playing on low volume while he ate, trying not to disturb the others still trying to sleep. They'd be landing soon, or they should be landing eventually. And whatever would be on the docket would require everyone be well rested. Only one mission with this team and he knew that much already.
Jemma realized immediately she'd done something wrong but she wasn't sure at all what it could have been. She took the drink and watched him leave.
Something she said affected him greatly and she needed to figure it out. Not just because she was his doctor but...she wanted to be his friend as well!
She untwisted her drink as Skye approached to her left as she considered her last conversation carefully.
"It was the scanning Jemma," her friend explained which only surprised her. "The CCTV. He appeared not to know about it," she explained as she began to make her own dinner.
"You think? I mean, I would assume he'd know," Jemma reasoned, or defended herself truly.
"It was obvious he didn't," Skye explained to her sometimes-clueless friend. "I just came up at the end but as soon as you mentioned the CCTV, he clammed up tight enough to make a pearl," the hacktivest relayed colorfully.
"Gosh," she said softly, sipping her beer whilst contemplating the most recent, nearly wonderful conversation she'd had with her new team member....at least until she'd buggered it up.
Bucky had noticed the cameras - the obvious ones and most of the hidden ones - since his arrival. But he had taken Jemma at her word that only the lab had the kind able to complete scans. Security monitoring was one thing, but the knowledge that he was wirelessly being examined scratched at his nerves. At least under Hydra's control he'd been hooked up to the damn machines they'd used to monitor him, and the Shield facilities had the decency to at least put monitors in the same room as him.
Getting the punching bag set up took him a little bit more time than normal. Figuring out a way to actually set and brace the stand so he could do more than just tap at it required some creativity on his part. And in the end, he'd used two winch systems to get it hung and stable through the supports and braces in the cargo area. It helped to distract his mind from the cold and bitter path it had been travelling down. And taking that first swing, testing to see how well his work held, how much force and strength he could actually use, and adjusting accordingly helped too.
He couldn't actually do all that much really. He definitely wasn't going to work up much of a sweat. But the constant control and self regulation required to go through the motions, was enough to help him keep his thoughts from spiralling out.
It was Ward that found him at it and offered to be a sparring partner for a time. "To help practice non-lethal take downs," Ward had added, and Bucky had accepted. Another distraction, but at least it was a productive one. He'd still need to practice with someone with minimal to no combat training. But ducking and blocking and countering Ward's very real and direct attacks with moves meant to subdue rather than incapacitate was it's own kind of challenge.
And when Ward had suggested a drink after, trying to be friendly Bucky realized, he declined. Grabbing a quick shower in the decon unit before taking his phone and climbing up into the support rigging to find a place away from the cameras to read.
It was Ward who eventually made his way up to the living deck and the common area. "So, what happened to piss off the super soldier?" he asked the two women as he went to get a beer from behind the bar.
Jemma quickly took the napkin and wiped at her mouth, a bit mortified as she realized the mustard at the corner of her mouth.
"They are good to me and always have been," she assured him as she set the napkin to the side. She sighed, rolling her eyes, "It's late. I'll take scans of you from the CCTV on the Bus. But next time, I need you to come to me, okay? I would like you to be able to trust me eventually. Not insisting on it but, one day, it would be nice," she explained with a kind smile.
"Can you throw me a Mike's Lemonade from the fridge?" she asked, not wanting to get up from where she was.
Everything in him coiled in cold revulsion and disappointment when Jemma told him where she would take her scans from. He was fairly certain he kept it from showing on his face, but he had to work at keeping his movements from being stiff or jerky. It really shouldn't have surprised him. He hadn't exactly asked at his initial exam, but apparently those sensors she had mentioned only being the lab weren't just in the lab if she was going to be using the CCTV capture to get what she wanted.
It had been a nice little window, he supposed. Having those hours, two days almost, to believe that he wasn't being constantly monitored. It was reckless and naive of him to have thought that wouldn't be the case. They were on a Shield plane, it flew all over the world for missions. Of course, it was going to have onboard surveillance.
Taking out the Mike's from the fridge and passing it to Jemma, Bucky also grabbed two of the bottles of water for himself. "Well, enjoy reviewing the surveillance logs, Doctor Simmons," Bucky told her, lips lifting slightly at the corner as he turned to take his water and leave. He'd seen a punching bag in the equipment locker the other day.
"They know the basics. Well, they did. They know I work in a lab," she explained as she finished off her sandwich, though, that mustard stain at the corner of her mouth was there.
"Do they all know I am now in the field? Not from me? Can I say my brother hasn't hacked SHIELD to check or my uncle reached out with a favor or two? No. Would they admit it to me? No...." she explained with a sigh. "They know I would be offended and annoyed if I knew, even if they know I would know what they would do."
"They know the more they push, the more I would pull away," she admitted with a shrug of her shoulders. "One day I'll go home but I want to change the world first," she stated as if it was the simplest of tasks.
Reaching over for a napkin, Bucky held it out to Jemma with a slightly amused smile. The completely serious way she said it made it seem like such a rational and attainable goal. Change the world. Bucky had been an instrument in Hydra's efforts to change the world, and he wasn't entirely sure about Shield. He'd have to see what kind of world Jemma envisioned.
"Well," he said, finishing off his own sandwich and taking a napkin for himself. "It sounds like you've got a good family looking out for you."
Gathering up the dishes he'd used, Bucky placed them all into the little dishwasher. There were only a few cups in the machine as well, but he closed the door and looked at the controls at the top for a moment. Nothing had looked particularly dirty. Tapping the quick load button to set it running, he looked back to Jemma.
"Did you want to get those scans done now?" he asked her. He doubted there would be anything for her to see on them, specially at this point. He couldn't see it, but it felt like the bruise on his face had either reached, or was coming up to, the ugly greenish yellow stage of healing.
"There is a London office but that's not why I chose SHIELD. I mean, I was headhunted even before I left university at the age of fifteen. I had options but I chose SHIELD specifically because it wasn't British to be honest," she admitted before eating another bite, watching the man in front of her. She wasn't sure if it was because she knew so much of his public background (plus his private one) but she felt she could just talk to him.
"My family is so well known in Britain, I wanted to make my own way. Even my last name isn't my birth one. I took on my Dad's mother's maiden name when I was still in grade school but that was moreso to hide me from kidnappings rather than making my own way," she explained, a bit of mustard getting caught on the corner of her mouth.
"They know SHIELD, specifically my Uncle. Given my Father's propensity for needing to be the smartest person in the room and my Dad's need to know everything about his children, I'm such they've broken into my Uncle's home to read all they can....And knowing him, he let them. He knows having allies in getting me to come home will help his cause," she explained with a laugh.
So she had already lived a life filled with it's own kinds of extreme adversities. He hadn't really gotten much information about anyone else on Coulson's team, but Bucky was beginning to suspect that there was a good possibility that only he and Coulson had had something approaching a "normal" childhood. It was such an odd thing to realize, and probably would come up as a topic with his therapist at some point.
"So they know what you do." That had to be a bit of a relief. Being able to talk about her work, even to some degree, with her family. Or at the very least they would understand when she couldn't talk to them about it. It hadn't been something he'd needed to worry about, even in the few letters he'd sent home.
"Are they likely to try and find a way to make you go back home?" he asked curiously. If her parents were as concerned and insistent as she said, and her uncle was the Mycroft he'd heard Hydra speak about, that could be an issue. Or was that a concern that Coulson had addressed with her? After all the things he'd heard about this team facing, having them split up because they were going their separate ways…
"That's my understanding but Quentin would never admit it to me...Top secret and such nonsense," she admitted as she took her 2nd half of the sandwich. "They're considered 'consulting detectives,'" she explained as she delicately began eating once more, not even seeming to catch any flirting that may or may not have happened.
"They work with Scotland Yard, private individuals, countries, governments, whoever needs their help and has an interesting enough case for my Father," she explained with a laugh. "He's a unique individual but then he and my Dad created my twin brother and I sooo," she laughed. "I should explain, my twin brother is not just 007's boyfriend but also head of the entire technology department of MI6...Lets just say I'm in the family business with SHIELD. Though, they would all love me to leave the Americas behind and go back across the pond. Especially my Uncle Mycroft. He's essentially the British government my Father likes to say and they want the what he calls," she rolls her eyes before putting on a male British voice, "'The best British minds working for Britain!' That argument never gets old," she emphasizes with a laugh.
Mycroft was not a common name as far as Bucky remembered. There was a chance that it was a different person, but he doubted it. Not that it really mattered, as annoyed as Hydra had been with their own Mycroft, it had never been to the such a degree that he'd become a target for Winter Soldier. And she had only asked about her brother's boyfriend and her parents, not her uncle.
"Doesn't Shield have an office in England?" Bucky asked curiously. Taking up the remaining half of sandwich, he poked a bit of bacon back under the slice of bread. "Archival I think. So, not really a field work office. And fewer research positions."
He had no idea how Jemma's position on Coulson's team compared to her brother's position in MI6. And he didn't know if there was a competitiveness between them. He remembered some siblings being like that, trying to one up each other, out do each other. It hadn't been like that with him and Becca, but there had been almost ten years between them. "Do any of them know that you get to work with alien technology?" he asked, taking another bite from his sandwich.