My Girlfriend Wanted A Better Way To Share Memes

[shrekhollander]

Shane and Ilya´s babies are runners, they love to escape from their parents and are really energetic playful kids.

Kids: *run*

Ilya: *is always watching them, making sure they don´t get lost or hurt* The Shanelings are getting too far moya lyubov'...

Shane: *rolls his eyes and does the loon noise he makes at the cottage, when their kids hear this sound they know that they need to get back to their dads ASAP and run over them happily, Shane´s bird language is the only thing that works on them getting back.*

[anistarrose]

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"

[chubby-cry-baby]

harris creates ILYA JEOPARDY for ilya’s 32nd birthday and the centaurs are hyped to see who can get more points than Shane; Bood and Ilya have been captains for years together, Troy and Ilya are best friends, Wyatt and Ilya have their own captain-goalie relationship, Luca is his mentee etc etc all the centaurs have their own thing with Ilya. “yeah Shane’s his husband but I saw him everyday for practice for years I think I’ll get some points in there”. AND the questions aren’t even that hard “what does Ilya order at osmows” “what’s his pre game ritual” “what’s his favourite city” “what’s his favourite gatorade flavour” - the centaurs keep getting the answers like 20% incorrect and shane gets to swoop in and correct them, “it’s actually a loon not a duck” “that is NOT his favourite fast and furious” “he doesn’t like blue he likes the light blue gatorade”. Ilya can’t even act nonchalant he feels insanely loved.

[chubby-cry-baby]

shane hollander loves an official invite even to his husband that he lives with - ilya are you free 8 to 12 on saturday i want to go to the farmers market let me know we don’t have to stay there for 4 hours it will be fun and yes dogs are allowed - and ilya walks over to shane, “shane what is this” “im asking if you’re free what’s wrong” “why didn’t you just ask me we live together now” “i know i just wanted it to be official what’s wrong with it” “nothing yes im free let’s go to boring farmers market” “it’s not boring” MWAH

[plaguedocboi]

I remember when I was younger, anytime I watched a movie where the characters have to kill a scary monster/alien, I always thought the act of killing it was intended to be part of the horror. Like there’s this amazing creature that we’ve never seen before, and maybe under different circumstances we could’ve coexisted with it, but it’s trying to attack you and you have to defend yourself, but by destroying it you also destroy the ability to ever understand it and that’s sad and is supposed to make you feel conflicted.

It was not until well into my adulthood that I realized most people do not have complicated feelings about movies where people have to kill a scary alien monster, nor is that necessarily meant to be part of the narrative (unless it very obviously is). They just want the scary thing to die because it’s scary. I don’t have a real conclusion to this I just started thinking about it for some reason.

[plaguedocboi]

1. This reply is two words and they managed to misspell both of then

2. Yeah. Duh.

[bad3idea3]

Imagine someone on the Centaurs going to Shane like “Rozanov just said I suck” to tattle on him and Shane responding with something 10x more devastating about their skills issue

Ilya may be an asshole, but Shane "have you considered being better at hockey?" Hollander will destroy your whole life with how little he cares about your ego.

[catchymemes]

They supporting

[cozy-stardust]

Imagine Grace defined his name as the elegance definition of grace and Rocky spends years thinking how fucking ironic this clumsy leaky space blobs name is.

Until Grace slips out a sentence along the lines of "could you give me a little grace here" and Rocky immediately points out he used a word wrong so Grace has to explain that yeah, grace means elegance but it can also mean mercy sometimes too.

And Rocky has to suddenly reconcile that the clumsy leaky blob that saved his life twice, that almost certainly doomed himself to come back for him, name is Mercy.

[beardedmrbean]

[were--ralph]

tumblr is the funniest social media site to go viral on

[were--ralph]

on tiktok people will quit their jobs after going viral once but on here not only can any post get 50k notes, but if it does theres nothing you can do with it. theres no monetization or any transferable skills at all. you just made a funny post and people liked it and thats the start and end of your career

[were--ralph]

you could say "i left the stove on" with no context and it might break containment on here and people start tagging it with ships and kins and theres no way to delete it forever unless staff gets involved. your mistake will never go away but your claim to fame will instantly

[were--ralph]

its like yes im the pineapple werewolf guy but no one outside of here and like 5 posts on reddit will ever know what that sentence means. i could jump on tiktok and no one would know me. no one on youtube or facebook. this is my little corner of the internet and i will die here before i give up that title and when i do know i lost nothing in the process

[were--ralph]

exactly

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Okay but imagine being the team of Eridian scientists tasked with keeping Erid's Only Human alive for as long as possible while the whole planet's environment is literally trying to kill him. And then Rocky shows up and is like:

“Grace says he would like half of dome to be water.”

“Oh, is necessary for humans to have large amounts of water question?”

Small Eridian equivalent of a sigh. “No. Not needed for life. In fact Grace will die if he falls in water and does not get out.”

“Tell him we give him water in containers that won't kill him. Lots lots lots of water on Erid for Grace to drink.”

“No. Grace say he want water on ground. Also want it with excess sodium chloride compound so it will be unhealthy for drink.”

“WHY QUESTION???”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

To celebrate Erid getting their sun back on track, Grace asks for some alcohol. There's a small amount left from the Hail Mary and Rocky offers to take it to the science Eridians to see if they can synthesise more.

“Grace want this liquid for celebration.”

“Of course.” They scan it. “You have wrong liquid. This contain compounds which are poisonous for humans.”

“Yes yes yes. Grace say humans like feeling of being slightly poisoned.”

“WHY QUESTION?????”

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

Grace is like one of those extremely finicky tropical fish who instantly die if not kept in extremely specific conditions.

Only here the fish can talk and keeps asking you to make it vodka.

[guerrillatech]

[utah-mountain-drifter-deactivat]

[poorghost]

no one follows the trees warning

[rapidashrider]

You know the parable about how the foolish man built his house upon sand and the wise man built his house upon rock and it’s always about having a sturdy foundation well there is also the fact of location which is that the sand probably used to be rock except it’s been eroded to sediment because it’s a FUCKING FLOODPLAIN

[whereserpentswalk]

flood Plain perfec t size for put town in to b\uild! inside very Soft and Comfort town safe happy put town in Floodplain. Put Town In Floodplain. no problems ever in flloodplain because good Shape and Support for town roads weak of big town citizens. Afloodplain yes a place for a town put town in floodplain can trust floodplain for giveing good place for town. friend flood

[shrekhollander]

Shane and Ilya´s 6 year old daughter has to make a family tree for her class. llya is feeling down about not having pictures of his mother for her to put in, and then he sees she draws her with a halo over her head 😇 and she writes "grandma Irina, no photo but she looks like me, I have her eyes and her name, she looks after me." Ilya cries.

(She then also prints a dinosaur and adds it to the tree, like on the top of the tree)

Shane: who is this, baby?

Baby Irina: Uncle Scott :) *Ilya loses it*

[my-dailydreams]

[crowboy-bebop]

unauthorized fucking thing!!!!!!

(warning: loud chirping throughout)

source: hellgate osprey cam

[curlicuecal]

[aetherograph]

More context:

the first osprey is the father, the one that comes later is the mother.

ospreys are not eagles, they're ospreys

ospreys only eat fish, that's why they don't register this starling as possible food

the starling got home safely

the starling was not trying to eat the eggs, it was mostly curious and you can see it trying to hop under the osprey every time the osprey tries to sit down again--this is because the starling is still a baby and has the instinct to get under an adult for warmth, even though it mostly has its feathers. this scares the osprey because that is a Foreign Creature near its eggs.

at the end of the video you can see the ospreys starting to turn the eggs. birds do this so the yolk and/or embryo don't stick to the shell of the egg, which is bad for the egg's health.

ospreys have eyes adapted to seeing beneath the surface of the water!

[deletiaclementine]

Ilya does a recreation of the Kim K champagne magazine cover for some Canadian art magazine after the Centaurs first cup win. He breaks the internet because the general population didn’t know he had all that cake underneath the hockey pads. Shane is catatonic with jealousy. Ilya’s like yeah now you know how it feels when you do your little wet t shirt ads

And then they fuck about it

[scunthotter]

Imagine you're some little closeted rookie and they're billeting you with your new team captain and his husband and you're worried that there's something obvious about you cause why else would they stick you with the gay ones. But then you get there and realize you have another problem because arguably two of the best and hottest hockey players are just always shirtless and always kissing each other and always having loud sex and I forgot where I was going with this post but essentially its some poor little closeted rookie's sexual chernobyl.