ofelevenismsâ:
El didnât know how to respond to Joyceâs question. Why would she say that? She shouldnât have. She didnât intend to make her feel bad nor did she intend to make it seem like things in Hawkins were terrible. It was fine, but there was something m i s s i n g. The Byers. El didnât know how to put it into words and she wasnât sure she wanted to, it was times like these she was grateful sheâd never been the best to vocally express herself. Like Hopper, like father like daughter, family in all but blood.Â
â I donât know. Canât âxplain it.â She feels young again, almost as if shying away from the answer, the truth. âHo-Hawkins,â Eleven corrects herself, â Doesnât feel like Hawkins without you guys.â Her stomach feels like itâs in knots and she isnât sure why sheâs feeling anxious all of a sudden ; itâs foolish. Sheâs aware that she can trust Joyce with her life, but she felt uncertain, almost like if she says too much theyâll leave again.
Eleven doesnât want to dwell on it and she hopes her internal struggle doesnât translate outwardly. Instead she gives Joyce a small sheepish smile. The cabin was a mess and sheâd made an effort to clean it earlier, it was an organized mess that she and Hop were used to. âSome things never change. â El shrugs her shoulders, though, she brighten up at her next words. â Girls night.â Brown hues look around the kitchen for snacks, her and Hop had yet to do another trip to the grocery store because they were running low on microwavable food. (Karen had been teaching her how to cook the few times sheâd go over for dinner, but El lacked the ingredients back in the cabin.)
â Compromise. Halfway happy. Couldnât talk him into being dropped off at your new house. â Hands grab at a bag of popcorn before placing it in the microwave. Though she canât help but try to smile at her words: Sweetie, Iâll never be too tired for you. â Grumpy, like the dwarf.â  She recalls renting and watching Snow White with him and making the comparison to tease him. â You thirsty? We have soda, water, milk and fruit punch.â
All those nights sheâd spent up thinking about if it had been the wrong decision to move, that one sentence kept repeating in her mind -- You have something that I never had. You have people that care about you, right here in Hawkins. Those people -- sheâd left them behind. And she knew that they understood her decision, Hopper had told her that during one of their endless nightly phonecalls over and over. She knew that they were safe even without her, that El was well-protected and still it was clear that it had been hard for El, just as it had been hard for Joyce. Ultimately, those people, the ones that cared about her and her family, were what had brought them back. Joyce nodded, blinking heavily again, a weak smile spreading on her lips. âI understand. I do. And Iâm sorry. Iâm so sorry.â
Even though the cabin was a mess -- then again, everybody knew what it was like in the Byerâs house, mostly due to Joyce -- it felt so incredibly homely. She was sure that it was mostly Elevenâs work, as she inspected the little bits and bobs around the room. She would have loved to peek into her room, but she didnât want to invade her privacy. God knew that when she was 17, no one had been allowed in her room, with the exception that they wouldnât have been able to navigate through the cloud of some in it. At that memory, she felt her fingers restlessly itching for a smoke, just to give them something to do.
So theyâd wanted to come over together, huh? Scrapping that thought from her mind, Joye smiled as she watched the girl stuff the bag of popcorn into the microwave. Not entirely because she thought it was cute of her making popcorn for their newly planned girlsâ night, but because that was just about what she could teach El in terms of cooking.
The comparison made Joyce laugh out loud wholeheartedly, forming small lines form around her eyes. Sheâd seen Snow White as a kid, but it had been at least, what? 30 years? Having two boys had kind of ruled out watching that movie when they were kids, instead sheâd watched a whole lot of Superman and Star Wars involuntarily. One thing that had lingered on her mind from that movie, though, was the witch -- from which sheâd drawn big inspiration when trying to scare Will back in the day. But now she remembered Grumpy the dwarf clearly, and the comparison was striking. âYouâre so right.â Sheâd have to remember that for later use. She sat up and furrowed her brows. âGood choices. Hmm.. Iâll take a fruit punch.â















