aspecs deserve the world

hello! this has become more of a general aspec/aroace positivity blog, but I'm always happy to answer questions about oriented aroaces (or other aspec identities!) as best I can. check out the rest of the peeved pride family! || header by @theprideful, icon by @kyri45 || hi I'm Lee, they/them

[aromantic-diaries]

Romance repulsion to me isn't even an attitude towards the concept itself like I can even go as far as pretending to be romantic. It's moreso a feeling of dysphoria that I get when something I do is percieved as being romantic. I can joke about me and my best friend being romantically involved but when people actually thought we were dating, I got really, really upset at the notion because it felt like people were insisting that I was something I knew I wasn't. I can act like I have a crush on a fictional character or a celebrity as a bit, but the thought of actually having those feelings for anyone feels Wrong, like I'd be out of character. I can even have fun pretending to be romantic but it stops being fun and starts feeling wrong when it's real. Really, romance repulsion in my experience feels very, very similar to gender dysphoria, it's a feeling of knowing that something is very off and you're not being yourself, or you're being percieved as something that you're not

[kittyking445]

HAPPY PRIDE to Black Aros on this site btw. Whether ur Aroallo aroace non-SAM loveless etc I hope your pride month is a good one

[papercranesandpride]

I think if you want to understand bigotry against aromantics, I have a good case study. Let me talk a little about my dad's family.

My dad has 4 half siblings and two step siblings. They're all a decent bit younger than him. When I was a teenager, we went to a family reunion, and I realized something—my dad did not respect his siblings. He looked down on all of them. He saw them as fuck-ups and overgrown children. My dad had the American dream: well paying management job, suburban house, wife, and three kids. My aunt and uncles did not. Excluding my aunt, none of them were married or in serious relationships. They hadn't really settled into long term careers. Several of them were working the kind of jobs that get called "Unskilled labor." So he looked down on them because the youngest one was in his thirties (and several were much older), and yet none of them had "settled down" into what he saw as lifelong, permanent careers and relationships and lives. He was polite to their faces, sure, but I heard how he talked about them behind their backs, to my mother.

And then a few years ago, we visited his brothers again for Thanksgiving. And I realized something again--he respected them now. He saw them as equals. Why? Well. All of a sudden, every single one of them had serious, committed romantic partners. They didn't even need to still be with those partners—one of my uncle's fiance passed away from cancer before they could marry—just having had one showed that they matured into a real adult participating in society. In fact, at one point, my aunt was telling my mom about how one of my uncles was no longer living in an apartment she owned, but instead, after having a steady girlfriend for about a year, he moved in with her. And my mom literally said to my aunt, "wow. Look at that. He finally grew up."

One of the lines that frequently gets repeated about anti-aspec sentiment is "why would anyone hate asexuals/aromantics/etc? They aren't even doing anything." And that's exactly it. In the eyes of amatonormative culture, we aren't doing anything. Adults are supposed to do things. That's how you become a member of society.

I know that my father will never see me as a successful adult. He will never approve of my life. And I think most people would assume that that's because I'm trans. And don't get me wrong, he sure as shit doesn't like or respect that, but I do think if given enough time, he would get used to it. He would eventually realize that it isn't going away. And if I settled down with a spouse and a respectful job and a few kids, he could see me as a successful adult that he could be proud of anyway. But of course, that's not going to happen. Because I'm aromantic. So I'm never going to do that one thing that signifies that his job is complete, and I'm officially a full-fledged adult. I will perpetually be that fuck-up kid who won't settle down. In my personal case, that's okay. My dad is a conservative piece of shit, and if he doesn't approve of you, that just means you're doing something right. But on a societal level? This kind of attitude is a massive problem. Aromantics deserve to be treated like adults, and to feel like the accomplished adults that they are. We should feel like we belong in society.

[mollymerula]

we need to normalize a tradition where nonpartnering aros are like "hey, i'm officially never getting married, please come to this party and give me whatever kitchenware you would have bought me for a wedding"

[arodabi]

I’m a nonamorous aromantic bc if i had to wake up next to the same person every day, take them w me to all events, and had to come home to them being in my house, I’d kill

[knifearo]

gonna be really honest i do think that if you’re not aromantic you’re missing out 🖤

[knifearo]

this post obviously touches on the fact that the human experience is infinitely variable and there are fantastic aspects of every way of life that are often unique to that experience. and also i think aromanticism is cool as fuck and everyone Should have fomo about it 🙂‍↕️

[ryebreadedd]

happy aromantic visibilty day to one of my fav fandom wiki comments

[undead-tboy-swag]

if your weird enough with the homies you can break all boundaries of platonic/romantic love and make a third, more evil thing

[orcboxer]

a podcast...

[crowycawcawart]

heartless

[kickedoutofthecommunity-acesaros]

It's aromantic visibility day!

Everybody give the local aro a high five or some money, whichever they prefer.

[arowitharrows]

Shout-out to aromantic people whose lives are so fucking busy that they periodically forget what day of the week it is. today is Wednesday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.

[arowitharrows]

Today is Thursday, June 5th. Happy Aromantic Visibility Day.

[arowitharrows]

It's June 5th again!

[this-is-trans-joy]

My parents have been calling me "their oldest" for about 6 years now, and always correct people who try and gender me! They describe my gender to people as "its just who they are. Thats all that matters". And even to students as teachers! In a deep red us state! Me being known as i am is so important and it means a lot from them

This is trans joy!!!

[peach-pot]

being anti-amatonormativity in a romance centered world is like watching half the people you know put all their eggs in one basket and then drop the basket and all their eggs break and they’re crying and swearing they’re never gonna do that again and then a month later they have all new eggs in a new basket and they tell you the problem was they didn’t have a strong enough basket or fresh enough eggs and then they drop the fucking basket again.

[the-irreverend]

And stay safe everyone!

[kyri45]

Pride Sticker Collection by @Kyri45

Here’s my absolute best-seller coming back ONLY for the month of June!!

[beholdingslut]

in absolute tears about the pride module at my work

[dikdikpronouncedxylophone]

[bigfoots-biggest-fan]

HOLY SHIT GUYS, I WAS INSPIRED BY THIS POST TO TRY MAKE THE SONG AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE THE SCREAM I SCRUMPT WHEN I DRAGGED THE TRAINING AUDIO OVER THE BACKING TRACK AND IT LINED UP PERFECTLY

Visit Original Link

Tempted to actually put this on spotify so I can secretly stream it at work...

Tagging @batshit-auspol because as an Australian you're the only big account I know who might share (sorry).

[punkrorschach]

happy first day of pride everyone

[hxneyfarm]

Happy pride month specifically to folks on the asexual and aromantic spectrum who oftentimes feel isolated and left out of the conversation. You belong here as much as the rest of us and I hope that you are all loved in a way that is comforting to you.