(∩｀-´)⊃━☆ﾟ.*･｡ﾟ

this is kinda just my online journal now so beware for untagged venting

[outrageousokona]

star trek + pizza

[stra-tek]

Hot take: The Star Trek you see on TV and movies is only half the story.

For 50 years Star Trek novels have expanded the universe far more than 42 minute episodes or 2 hour movies possibly could. Some are amazing, others are dreadful and lots are inbetween just like the TV episodes that spawned them.

Did you know Riker's USS Titan from the Lower Decks season one finale has an entire series of novels detailing Riker, Troi and Tuvok's adventures?

Or that books have been written detailing the split between Vulcans and Rihannsu (who humans call Romulans)?

Or that Kirk's crew were split up for awhile and the 5-year mission cancelled after a massive Prime Directive kerfuffle?

Ever wondered what happened between TOS and the classic movies? It's all in the Lost Years novels.

Did you know George Kirk was Robert April's first officer on the very first mission of the as-yet-unnamed starship with the Naval Construction Contract number 1701?

How about the death and resurrection of Admiral Janeway?

Or the final Borg invasion in 2381, where we learned their origin and final fate?

How about an entire series of short stories about the Starfleet Corps of Engineers? Or books about the Department of Temporal Investigations? Or William Shatner's series about Kirk's resurrection and life in the 24th century?

"But the books aren't canon!"

No, but they're awesome.

[outrageousokona]

legit

[outrageousokona]

daniel jackson the kinda guy to go “ahh” when the toaster pops

[outrageousokona]

i know i am neeeevwr online here anymore but in case anyone sees this i just wanna say i just watched lower decks finally and GODDDD I WOULD KILL AND DIE FOR EVERY ONE OF THEM. ESPECIALLY RUTHERFORD I LOVE THEM ALL BUT I LOVE HIM 0.0001% MORE… he and tendi are so perfect i wish i was them

[outrageousokona]

oh nooo my next door neighbour and people a couple houses down are moving away i sure hope no cute nerdy boys move in that would be terrrribleee

[outrageousokona]

fucking love star trek

[outrageousokona]

need to cry so bad need to be on the floor unable to breathe sobbing so hard there’s a puddle of drool i don’t care i need everything inside OUT i need it out of the little box i lock everything in but i CANT GET IT OUT i am so numb but sooo so so so so so so full of bad things bad feelings and anger and frustration and confusion and i want it out but it will not come out . i can’t talk to anyone about it either i can’t text a friend and say hey i need to talk. my friends are lovely yes but i don’t know i guess i don’t want to bother them. i never have i neeeeever vent to people hehe nononono that’s my job i’m the supporter. i have to be the strongone and make everyone else smile wtf happens if im not smiling too.

[skunkes]

[95wonder]

No. I know this is probably just a casual commiseration but I think it's a real and important question to ask and answer. If doing the stuff you're expected to do everyday is super hard, then something is probably wrong.

Anyone who relates to this too hard, I'd recommend looking up spoon theory and starting to make a record of how you feel and your experiences that you can bring up with some kind of health professional. Chances are if doing laundry feels like climbing everest, it's because you're disabled in some way. Whether that disability is some invisible chronic illness or depression or ADHD or burnout, *something* is wrong.

Almost all disabilities have some form of treatment or accommodation that can make your life easier. If you can get a diagnosis, you might also be eligible for official accommodations and benefits. Social security sucks ass and is almost impossible to access but like, it's not the only thing out there set up to help disabled folks and usually local organizations are gonna be better anyway.

Plenty of people reblogging this probably already know they're disabled in some way but if even 1 person sees this and can learn something important about themselves then it's worth saying.

TLDR: people who aren't disabled don't find acts of daily living extremely hard. Maybe look into that and see if you can get help making your life less hard.

Sincerely, a multiply disabled person.

[kiricat]

This is super important okay. Like, I used to try to ask my conservative family/church/etc. for help, and they’d just be all, “suck it up; life is hard for everyone; quit being such a baby”... and then I went to, like, actual experts, and they were basically like, “um, wow, you’re clearly super depressed and suicidal; you should actually be proud of yourself for still being alive!” And I’m still trying to unlearn the former and accept the latter, even after all this time. And I’m so mad that I’ve wasted so much time just trying to “push through it” instead of getting help I clearly need(ed), and that’s still a thing I struggle with.

Please, please seek real help if you need it. Like, I understand that there are shitty doctors and shitty therapists and whatnot, but it’s so worth expending what effort you can to find good ones who can help. If you have mentally ill friends -- which, if you’re reading this in the first place, you almost certainly do -- they might be able to point you in the right direction.

[ledeadface]

[ID: a screenshot from the Too Afraid to Ask reddit that reads: "How do people just so stuff? Is life not incredibly hard for everyone?" /end ID]

[eatember]

I have a friend with insane ADD and we have this same conversation sometimes

She can't actually even define laziness (which is weird) but she thought she was just lazy, life was that hard for everyone, and that everyone else was just being more responsible at managing it. I told her laziness feels good once and she blue screened.

Like if you can't define laziness, you've probably been convinced it's something that it's not. Probably something nebulous and hard to describe. Like, idk, an unknown disorder.

In case you're one such person, laziness feels great. It's not stressful. It's like the opposite of stressful. If you're being stressed and lazy at the same time you've managed to do it wrong somehow. The only struggle in being lazy is wanting the tv remote and being to darn comfortable to want to move. (But you get it anyways, because it's not an inability to get the remote. You were just cozy.)

Think of it like a cat sitting near a warm heater or a hamster so relaxed it "melts". If there were danger, or if the animal were hungry, it would get up. It probably doesn't want to get up because it's comfortable but it will. If the hamster is actually genuinely hungry but it can't get up and it's just laying there stressed and starving, you would take your animal to the vet because it has a problem.

[shamelesslymkp]

...what

[outrageousokona]

going insane can’t talk to anybody nobody GETS it nobody gets it the same way i do i don’t have anyone irl who loves star trek the way i do actually scratch that i don’t have anyone online either because i pushed everyone away when i stopped hyperfixating on it last year

i want someone engaging i want someone who will ask me good questions all the time about everything i’m a walking encyclopedia and if i don’t know something i want to find out!! angry and want a fucking boyfriend lmao need a best friend boyfriend i’ve always thought your partner should be your best friend MY ex bf was my best friend but the worst thing is then when/if you break up you are Alone you are soooooo so so so alone anyways yeah star trek. :)

[outrageousokona]

i feel like everyone at my school hates me for liking star trek lmaooooo last year i (nonbinary) got called a pick me girl on the ms teams chat for relating literally everything to star trek my brother in christ I AM AUTISTIC!!!!!!!

[outrageousokona]

yeah okay i think i will use this as an actual blog for a little bit idgaf that nobody is reading it . speaking of. i really hate reading i do not want to do this reading for class i haaaaaaaate reading books. um i ordered some enstars stuff today i got a big himeru omanjuu and then mama + niki (for my friend) of the little tsum tsum lookin guys idk if they have a proper name. today was fun my friends and i hung out in and around a stream in the forest and picked up moss and bugs and rocks n stuff. it was really nice i was really high so everything was EXTREMELY green like sooooooooo fuckin gg green. ☆

[outrageousokona]

the urge to turn this into my actual little blog

[outrageousokona]

hi tumblr i am mad i literally hate people who don't put thought into playlists. why tf is judas lady gaga on your norman jayden playlist. why the hell is your will graham playlist entirely mother mother and mitski and the neighbourhood. it makes me so angry how can you call that a character playlist

[ziracona]

Love Norman so much. Heavy Rain was a trip to play the first time (affectionate). Can’t get over the combined hilarity and realism of the scene if you get the Under Arrest path where Norman is flipping out because the local police are literally brutalizing Ethan in interrogation to get him to confess and he tries to intervene and Blake puts a gun in his face so he storms over to the chief’s office and is like “YOUR LIEUTENANT IS TRYING TO BEAT A CONFESSION OUT OF MARS!!!” & the chief goes “ :33 yeah, so? Who cares he’s clearly guilty,” and Norman absolutely loses his mind and goes into his shitty little office and throws a chair because he hates it here so much and the police are fucking insane and terrible and every time he tries to follow the law he gets threatened by them or attacked, & then he calms down & goes “Ok u know what fuck you too I guess >:[ “ and straight up breaks a serial killing prime suspect out of the police station single handed because there’s just no other way to keep him from being beaten to death or false confession in a cell and also he thinks he didn’t do it probably or at least if he did that he’s telling the truth about being not in his right mind & can help, and the whole time poor Mars is so straight up out of it he doesn’t even know what the fucks going on and he’s just like ??? as he’s getting shepherded out fo the station by this fed that just had a fist fight 18 minutes ago with a cop in front of him, and he’s just like *so moved & so confused* “thank you?” & Jayden’s like ‘yeah sure thing; start running & don’t stop’ (I’m gonna lose my job 😬 ) and after that determinately Ethan doesn’t see Norman again once until the finale of the game when he’s one second away from being shot in the back until this same fed who literally busted him out of police lockup comes out of god damn nowhere to body slam the Origami Killer off him and chase them off screaming anyway Heavy Rain’s a fantastic game

[outrageousokona]

hi never active here but i love that every time i come on that tom arcade/bowling alley post has a bajillion new notes 😭 i love him so fucking bad

[outrageousokona]

sooooooooo many tom paris thoughts i’m rewatching the first season of voyager so i can actually watch the rest of it (star trek hyperfixation got handed off to genshin before i had a chance to even finish s2 😭) BUT IM WATCHING IT NOW!!! said it before and i’ll say it again caretaker 1+2 is a movie about tom paris like yeah everyone is introduced and has a littttttle bit of who they are explained but there’s SO MUCH ABOUT HIM IN THAT EPISODE. absolute banger of a pilot (episode and character… hehe)