Incorrect Zodiac Signs Quotes

An Incorrect Zodiac Signs Quotes Blog Submissions are welcome!

[overheardinthenightsky]

Hello! This is an intro post!

I am Clem, (@star-of-nobility (aquarius)), the admin and founder of this blog. The other members are

Journey (@journeysfable (pisces))

We appreciate submissions! They are welcome!

[overheardinthenightsky]

tw: religion

*the squad is painting eggs for Easter*

Sagittarius: Can I ask a question? Why do we do this?

Taurus: W-what do you mean why do we do this? It’s Easter!

Sagittarius: Right. So why do we color eggs?

Taurus: So that the Easter bunny can hide them!

Sagittarius: Yeah but why?

Taurus: Easter celebrates the day that Jesus was ressurected after being crucified for our sins.

Sagittarius: So we dip eggs in colored vinegar and a giant rabbit hides them?

Taurus: That’s right.

Sagittarius: You don’t see the missteps in logic with that?

Taurus: 👁👄👁

Sagittarius: LOOK I’M JUST SAYING THAT SOMEWHERE BETWEEN JESUS DYING ON THE CROSS AND A GIANT BUNNY HIDING EGGS THERE SEEMS TO BE A GAP OF INFORMATION

Taurus: JUST DYE YOUR DAMN EGGS

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Taurus: I'm gonna eat the chicken breasts!

Scorpio, snickering: Yeah, eat what you lack.

Aquarius deadpanning at Scorpio: Then maybe I should order brains on delivery for you.

[overheardinthenightsky]

Taurus, breaking down the door: SIX MONTHS!

Virgo: What is she talking about?

Capricorn: I'm sure it's nothing-

Taurus: FOR SIX MONTHS YOU WATCHED ME WATER A FAKE PLANT AND SAID NOTHING!

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Leo: Do you think I'm plastic?

Scorpio: No.

Leo: Phew. Oka-

Scorpio: Plastic, at least, has some use in life. You're not plastic.

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Aquarius: You’re such a dumbass (affectionate).

Gemini: Aww, you’re such a whore (complimentary).

Sagittarius: How are you talking like that in real life?

Gemini: Witchcraft (derogatory).

[overheardinthenightsky]

Sagittarius: Do you know a turtles only weakness?

Virgo: No... well, their slowness.

Sagittarius: Their weaknesss is they can't roll over when they are on their backs.

Sagittarius: Now I have a plan.

Sagittarius: If I duct tape two turtles together, they'll be unstoppable.

[overheardinthenightsky]

Sagittarius: We have a problem.

Scorpio: Let me guess, you caused it?

Capricorn: Gimme a sec, I'm not drunk enough to listen to this yet.

Aries: And it's another Tuesday, your point?

Taurus: Would shooting you solve this problem? No? Then shut up.

Aquarius: If you mean the fire, that's our solution to last week's problem.

[overheardinthenightsky]

Gemini: A pessimist sees a dark tunnel.

Leo: An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel.

Capricorn: A realist sees a freight train.

Taurus: The train driver sees three idiots standing on the tracks.

[overheardinthenightsky]

Capricorn, holding a rock: Pisces just gave this to me and said "I feel like you deserve the moon but all I can give you is a rock".

Taurus: If you don't marry them, I will.

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Capricorn: Valentine’s day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-

Pisces: I wrote you a poem.

Capricorn, already crying: You did?

[overheardinthenightsky]

Aquarius: *watching their house burn down*

Aquarius:

Aquarius: *starts filming* Waddup, guys, welcome to my vlog, today's topic: how to get away with accidentally committing arson because you forgot Spaghetti O's cans are metal and thus non-microwavable! Step one: deny everything.

[overheardinthenightsky]

Aquarius: I’m the smartest person in my friend group.

Scorpio: You hang out with Gemini, Sagittarius, Aries, and Leo.

Scorpio: It’s not as high a compliment as you think.

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Gemini: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Sag and I are dating.

Sagittarius, Leo, Aquarius, and Libra: *gasp*

Gemini: Sag, why are you surprised?!

[overheardinthenightsky]

Scorpio: Where is Virgo?

Gemini: I'll do you one better, who is Virgo??

Aquarius: Here's a better question, why is Virgo?

[overheardinthenightsky]

Taurus: I regret getting dragged into your heterosexual tomfoolery.

[overheardinthenightsky]

Virgo: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-

Virgo: *sees Aries shoving Leo into the washing machine while Sagittarius records and Aquarius watches*

Virgo: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.