PROXLY @ovidial - Tumblr Blog

gachi fandom so small over here

#i hate twitter #everyone overreacts over ship like i promise you #if your only problems in life are fictional stuff you're genuinely so embarrassing

popping back in so i always had thoughts about enzan and i decided to write about it and now it got way too long. set after ummm janka virginity loss, read tags and notes...

a whole fic inspired by the borderline bdsm nature of enzan and also sexeducation. also hetjin's conflicting boner and moral dilemmas and humorous conversations. i hope its funny. 28k words of yapping thank u ok bye

SUPER STRAIGHT: Spank Bank Supervisor (NEW!)

#enzn #enzan #fic #i lost the words to yap i spent the whole day finishing this up bro #promo? sorry #enzn relationship study #if you read even a bit of this i love u #i hope it resonates w ppl #teeeheee (i spent hours everyday the past week or so on this)#not my best work but i just had many things to say about them okay #minor jankaaa

having adhd and getting diagnosed and medicated so Quickly last month genuinely saved my life. except it was horribly expensive (₱5500, including psych and meds) but at least things make sense now

like holy shit. i cant believe i managed to get thru my first 2 years in college w/ horrible untreated adhd 😭 what the hellll

#ud think u have adhd except i literally never ever studied i only studied otw to school in the car 30 mins before the assessment #and i spent 3 hours drowning in my head everyday maladaptive daydreaming it rly took over my life #i could never lock in. im telling u.#but then i took my first dose of ritalin and i locked in in a cafe for THREE hours when i cld never even go 10 mins #fuck i could never even start until i got medicated #im rly grateful but also upset cos its. difficult to pay 2k every month for treatment #and i do all of this without my mother knowing bc she's not the type to believe in mental help lol #adhd #ritalin #i hope to be prescribed long acting rita instead next monthhh #2k** every month for psych follow ups #3k for 30 pcs ritalin 😭 jesus

lizziemack

jester-nonconforming

btw i love when dubcon is used in fiction as a way to explore characters. i love when characters don’t understand how to “properly” ask for consent because they have never had their consent respected in their lives. i love when traumatized adult characters make potentially unwise choices about what to do with their bodies because they have the autonomy to do so. i love when characters make choices that i personally wouldn’t make, but i can totally understand how they got there. i love when characters have complex, fucked up, unhealthy dynamics, but still care about each other and want to do better. i love when writers trust audience members to read between the lines instead of spoon feeding them moral lessons. i love when characters are allowed to actually fuck up and have mistakes to learn from!

oxygendream

Stranger Things s5e6 “Escape From Camazotz” / Uncanny X-Men #131

yurismytherapy

Even more Janka yuri from my fic True Romance that I forgot to post here ✨️✨️

lanceylancethepiggy

WHOAAAAA

I've been yapping on twt but lemme just copy paste some stuff here: sexual ocd , unwilling predator enjin , intrusive pedophilia enjin (+ misogyny)

genuinely shaking thinking about it. like enjin would be Weird with the younger girls n kids because he tries TOO hard not to be!!!

he wants to be better than the rich who took advantage of him

he knows he should set boundaries as a captain but!!! as a family/guardian figure and as a savior and as a motivation to live for these kids, he must violate his own boundaries cause he believes he's the one who must provide what they need emotionally and Whatever Else

because HE is the one who lead them to be even slightly dependent on him for whatever reason. he thinks himself into a corner essentially.

#when enjin's selfish heroic acts for the sake of pursuing connections conflicts with his base psychosexual traumatic responses #his goal of being the older figure he wish he would've had when he was a kid #enzan #enriyo #zanjin #enzn #enjin x team akutouched #team akutouched #tfw you're 28 and you somehow got yourself into a daddaughter relationship with a 16 yro???#dont get me started on zanka bro #like im so sure enjin doesn't know what to do when it comes to him #he fucked himself over #not to place them in nuclear family roles i think they're definitely more than that however enjin's viewpoint would be as narrow when he #spirals about it #and he spirals about it a lot in my head #tw grooming !!

local-cryptid-has-anger-issues

brain empty

gachimuchikuta

focusing on word and flashback panel choices here

"inept and naive"

having a crisis because the likes of Jabber defeated him is pretty inept and naive. Thinking about the way Hyo kicked his ass is pretty inept and naive.

Zanka would have to find a balance between two philosophies/ways of life: Kyoka's and Enjin's

Kyoka (im assuming) thinks that this power to beat strong guys (Hyo, Jabber) is foolish and isnt what life is about. if im right shes kind of hating on the basics of the shounen formula LMAO - but a lot of things in Gachiakuta do not follow it!

and Enjin with his simple suggestion "just become better than a genius, why not?" and whatever else he thinks of Zanka on a deeper level, we dont know yet (i kind of think hes there to just support him he has no desire to influence him, aside from that one speech he gave him years ago)

maybe this

means that Zanka has to eventually shed some of his competitiveness

maybe THE REAL DEAL - Hyo, coming to Cleaners will lead to that?

gachimuchikuta

wouldnt it be fun as hell?

a more deeper dive into "theres always gonna be someone better than you, stop driving yourself insane"

because of course Zanka already knows that, hes not trying to overachieve out of foolishness.

but he is the only character in the story who's so straightforwardly shounen about strength. Sensei has something very interesting in store for him. its his obsession that will get deconstructed at some point and it'll blow my mind im sure

Kyouka's speech towards Goka who felt inferior to Zanka was about that - she recognised his greatness but thinks hes on a wrong path. Not just regarding giver-nongiver thing. But philosophically she doesnt recognize individual giver's power as real power, or a power worth seeking. "You wanna beat a random psycho in a fight, well ill simply pop his ass and that'll be it, im not losing sleep about it"

because really Zanka already reached a level of trash beast killing that exceeds way beyond any need. Givers fight in groups to take out bigger beasts, you dont have to kill a skyscraper sized one on your own - which Zanka can do no problem. (If that was a requirement, Kyouka would respect cleaners even less like "your organisation is fucking garbage if, with so many members you cant even efficiently use them to minimize risks an individual takes when fighting alone. what a shitshow"

its never about beasts, its about people he failed to beat: Hyo, Jabber - Kyouka doesnt want Zanka to waste himself by tying his self worth to this kind of competition

lol shes kind of like if he went into sports but she wants him to do something else lmao

but i think her disagreeing with that philosophy is why she never sat on the golden throne. she developed it then. thinking for the good of the group, being a leader, using the groups individual qualities to become way bigger than oneself

she doesnt like givers for this reason

im kind of wandering i hope this makes sense to somebody

zankacore

so if we accept that fighting is sex and Zodyl and Jabber are fighting regularly, then we can assume that Zodyl is Jabber's only regular partner, and has potential been her only regular partner for years. whether intentional or not, Zodyl has been who Jabber is learning her sexual preferences from