Tips for Awesome Afters: Making Friends Outside of Game - an OWbN Girls Article by Echo G.
At the end of almost every game someone inevitably says “who’s up for afters?” and thus begins the quest for a 24 hour or late night restaurant where the gamers can burn away the midnight oil chatting about the game they’ve just played. Afters are really fantastic for a few reasons. For one thing, they are a wonderful vehicle to get new players hooked into the local gaming group. They can also be an opportunity to get a glimpse at what another player is like outside of their PC (who you may or may not think is a complete and utter jerkwad). Afters are also a great time to unwind and get out of your character’s headspace.
But what if sitting in an IHOP until 4 in the morning with a bunch of other gamers and gabbing about how cool their PCs were that night (search your feelings, you know you’ve been guilty of this at some point) doesn’t appeal to you? Or what if you have to work stupidly early the next day or have a responsibility at home that won’t allow you to stay out so late? How can you be plugged into afters in those cases? Don’t be glum, my friends! There are in fact options.
For those of you who can’t attend affairs that take place after a game that often ends after midnight, I’d like to remind you that afters don’t have to happen just after game. They can take place before a game, later that weekend, some weekday or weeknight, or really at any time. Don’t be afraid to suggest gettogethers at alternative times. You never know just how many people might be in the same spot as you, and would be thrilled to have another option. Ask around, you may be surprised.
For gamers who are bored to tears with the same old restaurants, consider alternative locations and activities for your afters. The odds are pretty good that you share interests with your fellow gamers outside of LARP. Do you like “Magic: the Gathering,” “Apples to Apples,” or “Cards Against Humanity?” I’m willing to bet good money that there are other attendees at your local game who like those things too, or are at least willing to give it a try. The same thing can be said for other activities, like laser tag, bowling, paintball, video game tournaments, etc. etc. Heck, consider hosting a book club if you find you have overlapping tastes in that area.
This brings me to my third point: Don’t be afraid to play host. If there’s something that YOU want to do, invite others to join in. Some might decline (and that’s okay), but the odds are good that you will find at least one other person interested in joining in. As a note on playing host, you also shouldn’t feel like you have to include everyone. If your house only comfortably seats ten people, don’t invite fifty. If there’s a gamer that you’re not comfortable around, don’t feel obligated to invite them. Hosting afters will put you in the driver’s seat to a good time, so make sure it’s the party/activity/etc that YOU want it to be.
At the end of the day, we should be intending to have fun and make friends, whether we’re at game or not. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, talk about interests outside of LARP, and try new experiences.
About the author:
Echo wears several hats in the org, including serving on the Executive Team as an Assistant Head Coordinator, being a Subcoord for Team Nosferatu, Storytelling for the St. Augustine Game with Head ST Larry, and playing in her local Anarch and Sabbat games. Outside of LARP, she enjoys sewing and crafting, has an awesome cat, and has an obsessions with all things Batman.
