Hey Oliver—by the time you read this, I'll be long gone... Or least I hope so because it would be all kinds of awkward if you saw me after this. I thought about calling you, frankly, I do feel like a jerk by writing this all down in a letter instead, but I know myself, and more than that, I know you Oliver, you would convince me of not doing this, and I do not want to be convinced, for once, I am doing what is right, I am doing what I really, truly want to do.
I gave this a lot of thought, so don’t try to stop me, also, I believe you won’t be able to try, hopefully.
I’m going home, buddy. And before you even think that Chatswin is my home, no it isn’t. Germany is, Munich is my home, it has always been and I’m going back there. No, it won’t be dangerous, no one will catch me.
But that’s because I’m turning myself in, I’m taking the blame, I’ll tell them everything, or at least, almost everything. I won’t tell them about Anna or you, so don’t worry, I’ll just say I did it, that it was my fault, that I’m a murderer. I don’t know what they’re going to do to me, and honestly I don’t care, I need to pay my debts, Oliver, I can not live with this guilt killing my insides, I just can’t do it.
And honestly I don’t even know if that guy did anything to Annaliese anymore, Oliver, what if he was innocent? I have to pay for it, buddy, I really do.
I am sorry, I love you, more than you think, more than you’ll ever know. I left you my PS4 and all of my games, figured I won’t be using them in jail.
You’re the greatest person I’ve ever met, thanks for all of these years, Woody.
Sunny.
Letting the letter fall off his hand in chock, Oliver stared blankly through the window of Niklaus’ room—or so it was till that exact moment. He couldn’t believe what his eyes had read—he didn’t want to believe it. So many questions started to fill the blonde’s mind that his only reaction was to take the letter and run. Run to the airport—maybe there was still time. Nik told him not to try to convince him, but stubborn as he was, he just had to try. Oliver almost ran over his sister, seeing her frown and hearing her voice as he slammed the door behind him. He didn’t have time for that—to deal with Annaliese or whoever it was while he didn’t get to see Niklaus for one last time.
Though clearly not good to drive, it’s the only way he found to get at the airport with a better chance to find Nik. Oliver’s thoughts go back and forth through the words he read in that letter. Besides the thing that worried him the most—the whole turning himself in and go to jail—his mind doesn’t help in bringing the few other details out of it. What is he was innocent? Niklaus wrote and Oliver suddenly felt a bad taste in his mouth. He never thought of that, he never got a reason to—but if Nik did, he probably knew more than him, somehow. Steiner just had no idea of how and why. Maybe he would never do.
“God, Götze, why are you doing this to me?” Oliver breathed. He wasn’t much of the crying kind of guy, but that pain he was feeling inside of his chest with the idea of his best friend in jail because of something he did—both of them did, but that was Oliver’s fault, that was Oliver’s idea—was almost bringing tears to his eyes. He gulped, parking in the first spot he finds—somewhere he couldn’t, but he didn’t care for a traffic fine—and ran into the airport. His feet didn’t stop till he found the departure gates, with a big screen informing the flights.
Munich, Germany – Lufthansa® 411 – JFK-MUC – En Route (~ 01:24 EST, 07:24 CET)
“No…” He whispered seeing the information. The plane had left an hour ago—he was an hour late, he read the letter too late. “No, no… Fuck, Niklaus!” With his hands running through his hair, he looked up, trying to calm himself down. Oliver had no chance—no chance at all of trying to stop the other from ruining himself forever. Of course, living with the guilt wasn’t good either, Steiner himself tried to ignore that feeling every single day for the last year… but, going to jail… letting Nik go to jail alone—that was also putting more guilt inside of him.
The guy dropped himself in the closest seat he found, hiding his face with his both hands and trying to make sense of it. He would have to go to Germany as well—at some point. And there, maybe he could still try to defend Nik on his favor. He used to be a fucking lawyer and he was the one to be blamed for what happened—so of course he could try to put up some proofs that would take the fault off Niklaus’ name. He would have to try eventually—or he couldn’t live with himself. “Not now,” he thought, though. Not now that he thought things were almost, almost getting on track. After a year, all of them seemed to be doing good—Liese seemed as usual, he had found someone out of this mess and Nik… well, he was clearly not happy, considering his sudden decision. “What had I missed?” Steiner muttered to himself, rubbing his face and staring at people going into the gates, probably travelling for work or for vacation—while he was there, trying to hold himself into having a breakdown thanks to the miserable decision he made in the past.
He didn’t want to go home. The idea of dealing with his sister only gave him headache—he wanted to stay away for as long as he could to process what the hell was going on. Taking the letter off his pocket, the crumpled piece of paper, he read the last words he probably would see from his best friend—at least till he figure a way out for him. “Hell, Nik, what am I gonna do without you now?” Is what escaped off his mouth, the tears trying to fill his eyes, though he quickly looked up not to let them. No, he wouldn’t cry. If he cried it would probably mean he was accepting that was their end—and it wasn’t.
Innocent, Oliver would also never guess the true meaning of that “I love you” the other wrote. Clueless, blind of what kind of love was that. How could a guy live with another one, loving him more and more with all of his heart, when it was clear they wouldn’t ever be more than friends? When it was clear he was getting himself hurt? Steiner would never really think or notice that was the main reason for why Niklaus Götze had decided to leave him.
Just by the way the guy reacted he knew how screwed up this whole situation had become. Niklaus was his best friend, the person he trusted the most—cared enough to easily change his attention from his sister to that guy in a heartbeat. The idea that scene might have given to Götze’s mind bothered Oliver to no end—mainly because he was already working on whatever that sick feelings were, he wasn’t as bad into that as he once was a few months back. Yet, seeing the other finding out this way, telling him things that he never really expected to hear in that voice, was what gave Steiner’s that weird feeling inside of his stomach.
“Nik!” He yelled at the other, ahead of him as they were on the street—after leaving the house. “Niklaus, can you please stop and hear me out? I’m begging you!” Oliver said, this time with a small voice as he ran to reach the other. He stopped in front of him, trying to hold the guy’s shoulders. “Please?” He asked again, this time hardly breathing--he really didn’t know where to start or where this would take them anymore.
“What do you think you’re doing?”, Oliver asks when he finally gets into their room, seeing the guy pulling his PS4 out of his bag. “I can’t believe you actually brought it—”
