I Think I Drank Too Much Cyanide!

I could try harder in school, but tumblr is easier.

[hcnnibal]

just got back into gardening so i’ve forgotten. are basil leaves supposed to be this big

[hcnnibal]

am i the problem

[mousegirlheart]

op are you a hobbit

[infectiouspiss]

last night i dreamt tumblr added like a billion buttons to the mobile app so instead of this

we got this

and everyone just rolled with it but sometimes the wide naruto got too wide and blocked off all the other buttons and people would just post "got naruto'd again :/" and the only way to reset him was to log out and log back in

[i-give-people-pokemon]

This post gets an Electabuzz

[infectiouspiss]

this is awesome im gonna set him loose in the canal near my house and he'll be level 100 in no time fuck those fish

[9pointflower]

[damazcuz]

Certain words can change your brain forever and ever so you do have to be very careful about it.

[oxycontin-genocide]

Absolutely just made me drop my best friend break up that I had no idea was happening last month

[pukicho]

I don’t remember much from middle school. Mainly just the Green haze.

[g3nderbee]

What

[pukicho]

Green Haze

[i-tripped-up-the-stairs-again]

Oh thank god I'm not the only one, though my Haze was Blue

[pukicho]

fucking private schoolers

[winged-void]

Honestly Steven universe had a pretty normal zillennial adolescence, considering he spent most of his time convincing adult women not to kill themselves

[jacqcrisis]

Put salt in your baked goods. Put salt in your desserts. Just do it. Please. Salt isn't just for savory, it's literally a flavor enhancer so even a pinch can take a meh recipe to one people can't stop eating. Listen to me. Your cookies and cheesecake bars are bland and uninteresting. I'm taking your hand. I'm guiding you with a gentle touch to the back. We can do this together. Trust me.

[depsidase]

[fozmeadows]

this is not the takeaway here but for a hot second I genuinely thought that satirical news outlet The Onion was named after its founder, Tim Onion

[muzzledmikey]

sometimes im like "wow holy shit im being really fucking annoying. i should stop talking" and then i pull out my magic 8 ball and it says "youve always been annoying and your friends chose to talk you anyways. youll be fine" and im like wow thanks magic 8 ball. and then the ogre attacks me

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

[charl0ttan]

clown graveyard and its just one grave

[mr-deep-downer]

[were--ralph]

imagine if werewolf knots were square

[were--ralph]

Blocked. Have a rancid day.

[were--ralph]

[reliand]

[flipchild]

The shyest bug ever has perished in secret.

[daily-spooky]

[jaubaius]

[nabi3000]

[narcissistcookbook]

the second eel at the end in its little cuck shelter 💜

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

eel deets from @whitefangthefightingwolf

[reikomakoto]

[unpeeled-human]

fucking insane to me that people can be mean to kids. this thing is four to five shoe boxes tall and youre shouting at it ?? ? what is your damage the mf just got here.

[badluckbrian-deactivated]