The Life and Times of Oyster Girl

This blog tracks my path from a crossroads in life into uncharted territory, including my battle with PCOS and journey through trying to start a family.

[oystergrl-blog]

Senior Year of High School

I have never done one of these before but thought it might be fun to relive the memories. Your SENIOR year of high school! 
1. The year: 1997- OMG I just realized this is the year of our 20 year reunion!
2. What kind of car did you have? White two door Honda Accord
3. It’s Friday Night Football: Hanging with friends from other schools or pregaming with the guys since most of my girlfriends were cheerleaders
4. What kind of job? My first real job wasn't until the summer after senior year- I worked at the walk-up grill at East Ridge Country Club. 5. Were you a party animal? Yes and no- partied every weekend but made good grades and played sports too
6. Were you considered a jock? Not at all.
7. Were you in the band? No
8. Were you a nerd? No 
9. Did you get suspended? I got ISS once for talking back to a teacher who sent me home for wearing backless shoes 
10. Can you sing the fight song? Some of it. I remember that it ends with yelling "the days at Captain Shreve!"
11. School mascot? Gator
12. If you could go back and do it again would you? Yes. So many memories and everything was exciting because it was a life full of firsts and no real responsibility. I still dream that I'm back in high school all the time and they are mostly good dreams. 13. Still in contact with your high school sweetheart? We are Facebook friends. He's been married and divorced twice, never graduated college, and manages an urban garden in our home town
14. Favorite subject? English
15. Still have your High School ring? Didn't want one
16. Still have your high school yearbook? I think it's in a box at my ex-boyfriend's parents house. Copy and paste…let’s hear your story!

[hauntedbirdhouse]

Illustrator: getmoreradish

[didee-anne]

@fosterthababies @theshadlekoffs ??

[violent-violence-deactivated202]

I love this. I feel that the nevertheless is vital to the quote and the tattoo.

[oystergrl-blog]

Yes. My drunken self feels that this is the tattoo for me. I can't imagine a time in my life when it won't be relevant.

[oystergrl-blog]

I've been silent here lately. I guess I've been apathetic and also following the principle that if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all. But I can say lots of nice things about Little B. He's such a happy little boy. He'll at least try to eat everything you put on his plate. We're trying baby-led weaning with him, so he typically ends up with about 10% of his meals in his mouth and the other 90% all over his body. We're taking the boys to Disney for the first time ever tomorrow, so I'm excited for that but worried about how O will handle waiting in line. I'm hoping to take lots of pics so hopefully I can find the time to post some here and feign happiness while the world crumbles around us.

[oystergrl-blog]

Marched for equality today. I teared up seeing people of all ages uniting. There were older daughters with their elderly moms, young kids with both their parents, groups of women of all sorts, supportive husbands, fathers, and friends. I felt a touch of imposter syndrome as I chanted "We grab back" and "Love Trumps hate", like I hadn't earned the right to protest since I've gotten by okay. But I wasn't really there for me. I was there for everyone.

[oystergrl-blog]

2017

I've started and restarted this post. I don't know what to make of this year. I'm definitely carrying a shit ton of baggage from 2016 into this new year. It's weighing me down and keeping me from moving forward. I want to move back to NC, but we can't just up and move. My husband has to find a new job, and there are literally like 3 or 4 jobs posted EVERY YEAR in Charlotte that are a fit for him. So that means we get a few bites at the apple, but we're competing with hundreds of others who also want their piece of the pie, and his chances of getting one of these elusive positions are about 5%. That means we're stuck here for the foreseeable future. As in, right now there is literally no scenario where we can move back. That could change tomorrow, but for today we are Floridians. I feel like I'm failing at life in many ways. Motherhood and working and marriage and household management, in their totality, are overwhelming me, and I'm not doing a good job at any of them. It wouldn't surprise me if at any point I got fired, Austin decided to leave me, my kids turned on me for being a bad mom, and my house became even more of a money pit wreck. None of his will happen tomorrow, but something will give if I don't shape the fuck up and start doing a better job at life. Instead of working or cleaning or exercising I'm sitting on my bed writing a Tumblr blog ignoring emails.

[oystergrl-blog]

2016

It's been a hell of a year for everyone. Maybe bad times come around every 7 years, because 2009 was a motherfucker, too. I lost my job during the worst economic downturn since the Great Depression and got into a car accident that resulted in a DUI 5 days later. Everything else that followed was me trying to pick up the pieces after both of those huge setbacks. I don't have to list all of the many reasons why 2016 sucks. It's brought huge blows to social justice and equality, and we're personally living through what's been a very difficult move for our family. But I feel bad complaining, because things could get worse on pretty much every level. I like the spirit of hopefulness I see flickering all over social media but am slightly worried that people are expecting it to get better simply because 2016 was so God-awful. Instead, we all need to be the change we want to see in the world. We can't sit back hoping things improve because 2016 wasn't fair. The world doesn't work that way.

[oystergrl-blog]

Maaaaaannnnnn

Trump's election has really made me into that feminist who everyone (or at least my husband) hates. We got into it a few times tonight, resulting in him walking away from me. We're in South Beach for our "baby-free" time, yet here we are staying at different hotels. He's staying at the hotel (a Ritz property) I paid for from my company bonus and selected especially for our special trip, and here I am at this chic but surprisingly cheap-ish hotel right by the Delano because we got into it and I'm not backing down. I'm sad that this trip will end wrong but so fucking happy that we keep our $$$ separate and I'm in complete control of the life I've earned.

[oystergrl-blog]

I consider myself a feminist because I generally support women and believe we are more capable than men at pretty much everything, but I've never really had a personal issue with gender inequality in my life until recently, and I think it has a lot to do with Trump being elected. I hope there are hundreds of thousands of other women like me who never really contemplated that society could be marginalizing them, but who experience the same awakening like I did and do something about it. I didn't vote for that sorry piece of shit, but a lot of perfectly reasonable women did for all the wrong reasons, and I'm hoping the bullshit that's about to ensue for the next xx months (because, let's face it, that motherfucker's going to do something impeachable his first day in office) makes these bitches realize the error of their ways. We aren't all Sally Homemakers, and for those of us who choose not to be, we deserve and have earned equal everything. It's about damn time!

[oystergrl-blog]

Little O is getting so big! We've been practicing climbing down the pole for months, but I didn't think he'd get it this quickly.

[teacakes]

Why is every Trader Joe’s parking lot literally so dramatic?

[lovealwaysangelairene]

This.

I’m convinced they make the parking spaces a tad bit tinier than a normal parking space.

The only Trader Joe’s I’ve been to that I can think of where this phenomenon of unnecessary intensity doesn’t occur is in the Woodbury area of Irvine..

[wakemewhenimgorgeous]

They do this on purpose to make it feel more popular because it always seems busy if the parking lot is too small

[oystergrl-blog]

I actually locked my 7 month old in the car while in the TJ's parking lot just yesterday because I shut the door while trying to let someone pass me in that cramped as shit parking spot. The fire truck coming was the perfect end to the holiday weekend.

[oystergrl-blog]

This election.

This election is really bringing out the worst in people, including me. I have to hold myself back from posting/sharing every time I log into Facebook, because I know it won't change anyone's mind, but I honestly feel like some of the Trump supporters should be publicly shamed for the lies they're spreading. I saw some ridiculous post last night claiming to be an email from Hillary to Chelsea with some ridiculousness about pimping out "that bitch Michelle" at her events. It was so clearly bullshit propaganda yet people who I know to be intelligent were sharing it and commenting on it like it was gospel. I think that Hillary will win now that the latest email bullshit has been resolved. Even if it's Trump, I still have to wish and hope and pray that he will prove me wrong. Maybe he'll have some kind of Ghosts of Christmas Past experience that causes him to appreciate the gravity of all of this. We have to be stronger together no matter who wins this election.

[oystergrl-blog]

Halloween in Florida. O is swimming right now.

[oystergrl-blog]

I think I have Florida weather figured out. It's basically 6 months of heaven and 6 months of hell. The humidity has dropped enough for me to actually enjoy running outside, so I've been trying to go for runs a few mornings a week, which is a treat because this photo is a picture of the sun rising on the lake a block from my house. My mother-in-law is coming in town this weekend, and we're taking full advantage of having a built-in babysitter. We're going to an outdoor concert on Sunday, a tequila tasting next Tuesday, and a beer and wine fest next Saturday. Hellz yeah!

[oystergrl-blog]

Pics from my morning run. I’m going to start running in the morning before A goes to work. I’m up at 5 am anyway, so I might as well make the most of it. It was getting a little old getting both kids dressed and ready for school while A showered and got ready for work, then being totally responsible for them in the evenings as well. Working from home is not only isolating, but it’s also assumed that I’m basically going to take care of every single thing related to the kids or the house, kind of like if I was a stay-at-home mom. Only I’m not. I get up at the ass crack of dawn with B, get the boys dressed and ready while A showers, work from 8 - 5 because we need the $$$ I bring in, clean, do laundry, run errands and get dinner ready-ish during working hours, go get both kids at school, feed the dog, feed the kids, wait for A to get home, cook dinner and put kids to bed, and then get insulted because I didn’t wash my hair or because I want (NEED) to pass the fuck out at 9. Hmmm.

[oystergrl-blog]

This pretty much sums up my experience and its ultimate happy ending. Lots of stress and deep thoughts were had over the past week. Dark thoughts. Scary and painful. Thank God for my health, and prayers to those who aren't so lucky.

[oystergrl-blog]

Lump

My midwife felt a lump in my breast and referred me for a diagnostic mammogram and ultrasound. All kinds of thoughts are swirling in my head, some self-protective, others fatalistic, but mostly my brain and heart are a clusterfuck of hope and disbelief and denial and anxiety. *i want to be around to see my kids grow up no matter how difficult O is being right now *i wish I would have gotten this news next week, because this weekend I was SO looking forward to letting loose at a concert of our favorite band and now I'm worried I'll either internalize and be a ball of nerves or over share since we're going with people we barely know *if it's cancer and they have to remove my breast, will insurance cover reconstruction? *has it metastasized? *is it even cancer? *i don't want to wither away *i don't want to die in Florida *i miss my family and home *i hope it's a false alarm *I'm scared

[oystergrl-blog]

We just returned from a week-long visit to NC, packed with friends, family, and lots of fun. I got to do a girls' night with my friends that I missed out on before we moved due to pregnancy, we did a date night at one of our favorite places in Asheville, we went to a bunch of breweries, went fishing, went to a vineyard, went apple picking, grilled out, watched football, and spent a lot of time watching O play with his friends. We were all sad to come back to FL. There wasn't even a tiny part of me that wanted to come "home". Now that I'm sitting in my house (which is a complete mess), I guess it feels kind of nice to have access to the comforts of home, but it just doesn't feel like we really belong here yet. If we picked up and moved tomorrow no one would care. I kind of feel like we could look back on this in a few years and think of it as "that time we lived in FL", kind of like you might look back on a vacation that didn't turn out the way you'd planned.