s.o.b.

this hoe's had me crying since november 3rd 1959

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Dare Me (I Dare You)

[padfeets]

notromulus-but‌:

The moment that Sirius had stood up, the moment that he left, Remus knew. He knew something had shifted and whatever had changed they couldn’t go back. For the life of him he couldn’t put a finger on what exactly had morphed into something new. There was a buzzing constant thing in his chest where his heart had lived once, and it had a direct connection to the press of Sirius’s lips on his and the feel of their bodies close together. Looking at it too long right now would crash things to the ground.

It took ages for the game to end, it felt like. Ages in which he’d stopped paying attention to things other than Amelia or his missing roommate. He knew that he ought to talk to her. He knew he ought to clear the air and reconnect and possibly go make out again. While he certainly wouldn’t mind, his thoughts kept running back to the fact that Sirius hadn’t come down yet.

“James?” He asked, making eye contact with his friend.

“I think,” James said as he glanced from the staircase back to Remus, “Maybe I’m not what he needs.”

Remus chewed on his lip but nodded. Might as well go poke the buzzing enigma in his chest and up in their dorm.

“Hey.” He told Sirius once he’d reached their door and slipped inside. “Was that bottle fresh this morning?” Remus glanced meaningfully at the Firewhiskey in Sirius’s grasp.

After a while, Sirius’ brain began to calm down. He knew it was probably the alcohol, fuzzing his thoughts and slowing them down.   

They weren’t bad thoughts, exactly. They were just… unwelcome? Unprecedented? Unexpected? Un… what the fuck ever. He didn’t know what the hell they were, but they were all he had at the moment.   

He wondered if everyone was still playing truth or dare downstairs. He wondered how long he’d been up here. He wondered how long it would be until the boys came stumbling back in and James tried to tuck him into bed like the mother hen he was.   

He wondered if Remus felt as fucked up as he did. Or if the lovely Miss Bones had kept his attention and those two crazy kids were off having a go at each others necks again.   

Then, he didn’t have to wonder anymore.   

Sirius’ snapped his gaze over to the door and was surprised to find Remus coming in, not James. Sirius blinked at him, then down at the bottle in his hands. Shame ran cold in his veins- there was something about being called out by Remus Lupin that never dulled, no matter how many times it happened. 

“They were out downstairs.” He said, as if that justified drinking a third of the bottle himself. He hadn’t even realized he’d done it. He’d been drinking idly while he was thinking. Drinking and thinking. A lethal combination.   

Sirius put the bottle down on the floor in front of him and kept his eyes trained on it. He wasn’t sure he could look at his friend right now. It was hard enough to push away the confusing thoughts when Remus had been downstairs, but with him right here Sirius’ pulse was already starting to pick up again.  “I miss any good dares?”

[marlenemcknncn]

how do you sleep? || marlene & sirius

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marlenemcknncn‌:

‘‘Never.. that’s physical proof that I said it.’‘ Marlene teased; an evident smirk on her face. 

Marlene gave a shrug; playfully flicking her hair over her shoulder as she smiled brightly at him. Still triumphant in her victory. ‘’And people call me a whore; so you know it’s swings and roundabouts..’’ she chuckled. ‘’If you’ve got it, flaunt it. use it your advantage every once in a while.’’  Using her body to win an argument was something she’d done on more than one occasion and it definitely wasn’t something she was not overly proud of. If this had been almost any other person in the common room; she could guarantee that there would be a considerably less mount of talking going on. But this was Sirius; and this was what they did. They pushed each other as far as they could go. 

‘’I mean, cash prizes are always preferable. But I’ll accept a life time supply for sugar quills. It’s only fair.’’ Marlene let out a soft laugh; thinking over the words of the question. Thinking about the potential behind an offer like that; how she could use Sirius Black being indebted to her to her advantage. 

Marlene sometimes wondered what her life would look like if she didn’t have the parents that she did. If she had been raised differently; would she still have the values she did? Or would she have been sucked in by the hateful agenda as well. It was the kind of thing you don’t ever know until you’re in that situation. ‘’The only thing you can do now is be there for him as much as you can and he’ll ket you..’’ she said softly; letting the truth behind her words seep through. ‘’Whatever he decides is his choice; but if he’s as smart as you say. I’m sure he’ll see through the facade of shit, before it’s too late.’’ Marlene said honestly; giving half a shrug.  

‘‘Because I’m the best; honestly just the most perfect of people. I’m surprised it’s taken you this long to notice.’‘ Marlene let out a breathy laugh as they held each other. It was all ver intimate; but all the parts of Marlene that normally screamed for her to run weren’t. It was easy; sitting wrapped around him. Focusing on his breathing to settle her own. It felt right, almost, as cliche as it sounded.  

Marlene wasn’t sure kissing had every felt like this before; her whole body felt like a live wire. When his hand moved to rest on her back she leaned impossibly closer to him as their mouths moved together. When she’d pulled back for air; she couldn’t help herself from studying his face. Trying to figure out what he was thinking; try to figure out what the hell this meant. Whatever you want.. Rang in her ears, what did she want? This was one of her best friends; at what point was the point of no return. Marlene’s hands remained in his hair as she thought; her finger idly playing with it. Before deciding to through all caution to the wind.  ‘’I want you…’’ Marlene whispered against his lips as she leaned in to kiss him again; shifting her position so she was straddling his lap, deepening the kiss as she settled against him. 

Sirius frowned at Marlene’s words. “People are idiots.” He said. She didn’t seem upset at the comment, but he felt like he had to say it anyway. The two of them got so much shit for their reputations, even he got sick of it sometimes. It wasn’t offensive per-se, Sirius was comfortable with sex and wasn’t ashamed of anything, but it could get annoying when other people looked down on you for it- especially when so much of it wasn’t even true. 

He laughed at her ‘flaunting’, rolling his eyes. “I’m sure it works wonders for you. I’ll have to remember that if I need a favor from someone who doesn’t swing my way.” He teased, smirking. 

“Cash or sugar quills?” He scoffed. “And here I was thinking my company was the most valuable thing I could offer.” He smirked, nudging her again. They sat so close, and he knew he kept touching her, but what could he say? His brain wasn’t all there tonight, and even through the arm of his sweater sleeve the feel of her skin was still grounding.

Sirius swallowed thickly, absorbing her words. He knew she was right- as she so often was, though he hated to admit it. He nodded, snubbing out the butt of his cigarette with a charm he’d finally perfected. He looked at it, rolling the tiny remaining bit between his pointer finger and thumb for a few moments as he calmed his breathing to normal. “Thanks, Marls.” He said quietly. His voice was fucked from the earlier crying but he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

He let out a surprised chuckle. “It’s been said I’m not the most observant of people." It was a joking answer, but it was also spot on. It was this- the perfect balance of emotion and joking, seriousness and not, that allowed Sirius to fall into this easy relationship. She could read him like a damn book and he didn’t even mind. Somehow, she knew what he needed, even when he didn’t. James had that power, too, but it was another thing that was different with Marlene. Softer, maybe. He didn’t know. He just knew that they fit, and he was damn glad they did. 

It was cheesy as shit, but while half of Sirius begged to keep touching, keep kissing, keep going- a deeper part of him knew he would be more than satisfied if they carried on like this the rest of the night. Eyes on eyes, hands in each others hair. Gentle, sweet air between them. But then she said it. 

I want you.

Sirius’ brain stopped. Thankfully, his body had operated fine without his brain for 17 years and it still knew exactly what to do. There’s always time for thought later.   

Marlene straddled him and not to be dramatic or anything, but Sirius’ was pretty sure his soul left his body for a second. This was the side of Marlene that Sirius enjoyed the most - she knew what she wanted and she took it. And right now, what she wanted was him. Sirius certainly wouldn’t be the one to stand in her way.

He moved his hands down, down, down, landing on her hips and he didn’t realize how long he’d wanted to touch her like this until now and he couldn’t get enough of her.   

Sirius brought a hand over to her waist, playing with the hem of her t-shirt, making sure he was lightly touching her stomach as he did. When they broke apart for air Sirius smirked up at her. “That comment about losing your shirt earlier,” he said between breaths, “I may take you up on that now.”

[padfeets]

Dare Me (I Dare You)

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notromulus-but‌:

He wouldn’t overthink this. He wouldn’t overthink this. Remus could feel everyone’s eyes on them and he wouldn’t overthink this. James would check up on him later, Amelia would have questions for him later. Sirius’s hand was in his hair and they were kissing and he wouldn’t overthink this.

Remus wanted to push back, to run his tongue along Sirius’s lips and make the kiss deeper. He wanted to climb into Sirius’s lap and wrap his arms around his neck and never, ever stop kissing him because this moment was all he’d ever get.

Sirius tasted like butterbeer, chapstick and mince pie, and Remus wouldn’t overthink this.

His fingers tightened in Sirius’s hair for just a moment before he let go. If this went on any longer he’d lose control of the situation entirely and do something stupid. Even if Sirius was kissing him back, it was probably just instinct. Sirius kissed loads of people. Remus kissed him and he reacted. Simple as that.

Remus pulled away gently as Sturgis whooped and several people snickered.

“Right,” He said, voice gone slightly hoarse as Sturgis made some crude comment about enjoying the free show, “Mary. Truth or dare?”

It was a kiss. 

It was just a kiss.

So, Sirius didn’t think. He just kissed, like he would anyone else. Got a little lost in it, sure, but that was normal, too. It was a goddamn good kiss. 

A good kiss with Remus. 

Remus, whose hands were in his hair and then gone as quickly as they had come. 

Remus, who was pulling away slowly. 

Remus, whose voice was hoarse when he spoke again. 

Remus. Remus. Remus. 

Sirius’ heart was pounding in his chest as he observed Remus. He was asking Mary to pick truth or dare, just continuing on with the game that Sirius had forgotten about entirely the moment Remus’ lips had met his. How was he just continuing on? Talking and interacting like a normal human person when Sirius felt like he’d never breathe right again. 

He didn’t hear which choice Mary picked, nor anything that followed. He pulled his gaze away from Remus and instead looked to Mary, like everyone else was. Sirius could feel James’ eyes on him, but he refused to look at his best friend, he couldn’t. He couldn’t even really look at Mary. He was looking at her, but not seeing, too inside his own head. His throat felt tight, and he picked up his cup from the floor next to him and drank what was left in it. It didn’t help, but it did give him an excuse.

As soon as Mary’s turn was over, Sirius began to stand. He mumbled something about getting a refill before heading away from the group. Sirius found his way to the beverage table and looked over the remaining haul. Most of the strong stuff was gone, but he knew he had more firewhiskey in his trunk upstairs, so he headed towards the dormitory instead. In the back of his head, he knew he ought to at least find a better excuse than a refill before leaving, or maybe tell the boys he was headed in for the night, but he was already by the steps when he thought of it and it was too late now. He’d come back with the firewhiskey, he just had to clear his head first. 

Even as he flipped open his trunk and dug through it, the only coherent thoughts he could manage were of Remus. Maybe it hadn’t been just a kiss. A kiss had never done this to him before. Never hollowed him out and fulfilled him so entirely at the same time. It had never made his thoughts race so fast that even he couldn’t understand them. 

He didn’t know what to do with any of these feelings, nor the memories they dragged up. Flashes of Remus’ bare chest, the memory of the towel around his hips almost slipping off, the memory of Sirius wanting the towel to have fallen off. Remus’ stupid grin when he poked fun at Sirius, or the sound of his snores that Sirius focused on to lull himself back to sleep after a nightmare. 

Finally victorious, Sirius yanked the bottle out of his trunk and shut the lid before sitting on it. He looked at the bottle in his hands, still sealed, the last of his stash, and just stared. He could hear Remus’ voice in his head, sounding like Sirius felt, but continuing on with the game anyway. Making eyes at Amelia. Sirius took a deep breath, then broke the seal on the bottle. 

[marlenemcknncn]

how do you sleep? || marlene & sirius

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marlenemcknncn‌:

‘‘You’re a pain in the arse; but you’re my pain in the arse.’‘ Marlene stuck her tongue out at him; rolling her eyes at his next statement. ‘‘You might be kind of right about that. But if you tell anyone I admitted that; I will deny it.’‘ 

‘‘Evenly matched? I’m far superior my friend.’‘ Marlene let out a soft chuckle; letting out a soft sigh as he teased her; her eyes still studying his features. ‘‘Don’t you worry; I’ll save all my best moves for a nice rainy day when I need them.’‘ She teased; running her hand through her hair. Feeling very competitive; as always. But flirting wasn’t something she would normally compete in. However; she had to one-up him, it was law at this point. 

Seeing the look on his face made Marlene’s stomach do a flip; and a part of her wanted to take the shirt off. Just to see his reaction; what he would do. She even bit on her bottom lip; just for the effect. Marlene clapped her hands in triumph as he conceded his defeat. Pulling her top down again, and pulling her cardigan over her chest once more. ‘’I win..’’ She said smugly; a smile evident on her face. ‘’What’s my prize?’’ 

She saw the look on his face at her comment about his sex life; and instantly regretted saying it. It wasn’t as if it weren’t true; but maybe it was a little harsh to call him out so harshly in the middle of the night.  

‘‘I get that things were different for you.’‘ Marlene said softly. ‘‘Obviously my family aren’t as strict as yours were. I just wish I could help more? You know?’‘ She gave him a sad smile as he spoke. ‘‘We all have bad habits we learn from out parents.’‘ She shrugged her shoulders softly; pushing her long hair behind her shoulders. ‘‘I understand that; you can’t blame him for making the choices he has because it’s all he’s ever known?’’ Marlene said slowly, nodding her head in agreement with him. ‘‘I guess you just have to let him make those choices for himself; help as much as you can. But at the end of the day it’s his decision as to what path he’s going to take?’‘ Marlene said softly, her eyes searching his. ‘‘Maybe one day things will be different and you’ll be together again?’‘ Marlene was an eternal pessimist; and she never said things like that. But maybe what he needed was for someone to try and be a little optimistic; even if she didn’t fully believe her own words. 

Marlene hated seeing people upset; especially people she cared about. So she let him collapse into her; her arms remaining around him. Holding him close to her as he buried his head in her neck; her fingers softly playing with the hair at the nape if his neck. Not caring about how intimate they looked wrapped in each other sitting on the couch.  

‘‘I’m always here for you..’‘ Marlene whispered back; her hands remaining on his cheeks. Her eyes bearing into his as she spoke to him. ‘‘You can always talk to me about this stuff; if you’re upset you can tell me about it.’‘ Marlene offered him a sad smile, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek.  

Marlene caught the look on his face and her heart began to race; but she didn’t even have time to react before his lips crashed into hers.  Her breath hitched in her throat as the air escaped from her lungs; totally winded by him. It took a minute for her to react; kissing him back after a moment. Her hands moving from his cheeks to tangle in his hair again. Her mind took even longer to catch up with her actions. It suddenly hitting her that she was kissing Sirius Black and they were both emotional and vulnerable and it was probably a terrible idea. But she found herself not really caring.. her lips moving against his until the need for air was almost unbearable. Marlene pulled back with a gasp; her breathing deep as she tried to get her breath back. ‘’What are we doing?’’ Marlene let out breathily as she pressed her nose against his, their foreheads touching.

Sirius couldn’t stop grinning at her. “I won’t tell anyone, but I would like it in writing.” 

“Merlin, Marls.” He breathed out, fighting for his composure. If this was anyone else, the talking would be long over. He’d have pulled the shirt off the rest of the way for her and he wouldn’t be fighting at all against his instincts. But this was Marlene, and this was how they were. They did this shit for fun, as friends. He’d pushed her, and now she was pushing him back, just like they did in everything else. And yet, it was effort to pull his gaze from her chest as she yanked her sweater into place. He did, though, and looked towards the fire instead for a few moments. “And people say I’m a menace.” He said, shaking his head. “You’ve got to talk to your family about your heritage, I’m convinced there’s some Veela blood in there.”

“Prize, eh?” He smirked, looking back to her. “Well, is there something particular you’ve got in mind?” He said it before he could think about it, but now that he’d asked it he was practically desperate to know. Did she have a plan of action for this? Did she… want something from him? Or had she gone in as blind as he had?

He knew she was trying to help, he did, and she certainly wasn’t wrong, but her use of the word ‘were’ practically gutted him. He swallowed hard, and clapped a hand over hers. Sirius felt overwhelmed by the genuine tone of her voice. “You help plenty already.” He squeezed her hand for a moment. His mind was swimming with her words. She was right, of course, but it was difficult for Sirius to resign himself to it. Admitting there was only so much he could do, and that whatever Regulus’ decision may be, they’d both have to live with it. He nodded solemnly. When she offered up the optimistic words, Sirius knew she didn’t mean it, not entirely. No one could if they knew the situation. But Sirius knew she would never lie to him, either. So they had to have a drop of truth in them, at least, and they allowed the hope in him to live. “He always was the smart one, anyway. Even when we were little. He’ll see through those shitty Slytherin eventually.” It was true, it had to be.   

It wasn’t like Sirius didn’t get affection. He showered James, Remus, and Peter  with friendly affection constantly, and they never hesitated in returning it. Whether it was physical or emotional, they were all there for each other when they needed it, however they could be. Which is why Sirius didn’t understand why Marlene’s kind words had such as affect on him. They made his heart ache as if he’d never had anyone say them to him before; as if he didn’t have three friends upstairs that he knew for a fact felt the exact same way. Three friends who he’d pointedly avoided waking up to come down here and be alone with his misery instead. “Why are things so easy with you, huh, McKinnon?”   

They were kissing. He’d kissed Marlene and she’d let him. She was kissing him back. Her hands were in his hair and fuck it was incredible. He moved his hand that wasn’t in her hair to her back, pulling her impossibly closer. She pulled away for breath and he opened his eyes as their foreheads rested together. It shouldn’t have been possible but Marlene looked even more irresistible this way, her lips red and beginning to puff. Then she asked what they were doing, and Sirius knew he could stop and think about it or- “Whatever you want.” He told her breathlessly. It would be easier for her to lead. If Marlene didn’t want to do anything, they wouldn’t, and that’d be that. All he could think about was getting his lips back on her, but he couldn’t bring himself to until she gave him the affirmative. He contented himself with looking at her, twisting a strand of her hair around one of his fingers.

[marlenemcknncn]

how do you sleep? || marlene & sirius

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marlenemcknncn‌:

‘‘Copious amounts of coffee have been known to work for that particular ailment.’‘ Marlene teased a little; before her face softened. ‘‘But thank you; I really do appreciate it. But I’m honestly not that bad; I sometimes manage to have a nap before practice.’’ Marlene said honestly; offering Sirius a sleepy smile. Her own body betraying herself by admitting how exhausted it was with all the lack of sleep she was experiencing.  

‘‘Nope I stick by my first answer; annoying is definitely right.’‘ She teased him; a playful smile evident on Marlene’s lips as she listened to him talk. ‘‘See now thats an awfully big assumption you’re making about me there Black.’‘ Marlene winked at him. Marlene always said she would never let herself be as stupid as to be seduced by Sirius Black. But sometimes she found herself wondering if she really did want him to follow through with his flirtatious banter.  ‘‘I couldn’t handle it? And what the devil is that meant to mean?’‘ Marlene said her eyebrows raised in his direction. ‘‘I could definitely handle it; you’d be more worried about my follow through, you wouldn’t be able to handle my moves.’‘ 

Her eyes couldn’t help but look at the exposed skin of his chest; where the cardigan was left open. The lean muscles that were sitting there on show, almost begging her fingers to reach out and trace the lines of his abdomen. Marlene hated that she could betray herself like this; that he had to have come down without a damn shirt.  

‘‘Would you prefer it if I took my shirt off?’‘ Marlene batted her eyelashes at him innocently as her hands went to the hem of her shirt, pulling is slowly up her abdomen. Stopping just under where her bra was and letting out a small snort as she laughed. ‘‘I think I’m pretty darn good?’‘ She shrugged; her face almost falling into a pout as he pulled the cardigan closed again. 

‘‘That’s very true; you’re Sirius Black- does what it days on the tin. No nonsense sex and good times.’‘ Marlene shrugged her shoulders once more. She could get it; it was easier that way. Nobody got close enough to see the cracks in her perfect facade that way. Nobody got any ideas about saving her from the self destructive path that she was on. It was easier to just have sex and it not mean anything; than sleeping with someone who seemed to think they could save you. 

‘‘Don’t worry; I’ll keep it in mind. I’ll go see her tomorrow. I promise.’‘ Marlene said softly. Before stopping to listen to him speak about his own troubles.

Marlene hadn’t expected this; she hadn’t expected him to cry. She’d never seen him cry before and she’d seen Sirius through alot of strong emotions. But this was one that she knew wasn’t normally reserved for her consumption. ‘’If he believes that bullshit; then you’re worth more than that. And the only way you can deal with it; it telling him your truth of it all and letting him form his own opinions on it.’’ Marlene said softly. ‘’I know he’s your brother, but if he chooses not to trust in you. then that’s on him.’’ 

As he continued to speak; Marlene moved again. So she was almost solidly sitting in his lap. She wrapped her arms tightly around him. Letting him let out all the sadness that was piling up inside of him. Doing what she liked done when she was upset; to be made to feel safe. So she did it the only way she knew how; by giving him a cuddle. Wrapping herself around him; like a koala and squeezing him tightly. ‘’Don’t put yourself down; you did what was right, and more importantly what was in your best interests. Regulus’ decisions aren’t your fault. There isn’t anything else you could have done. You did everything you could in a really really shitty situation.’’ 

‘‘Don’t you dare apologise to me right now Sirius Black..’‘ Marlene said in a stern voice; moving back to look him in the eyes. Moving her arms from around him, to cup his face with her hands. Forcing him to make eye contact with him. ‘‘You don’t ever need an explanation or an apology for being upset about the really horrifically shitty set of cards you’ve been dealt in life. Never.’‘ Marlene said again; staring him down as her thumbs wiped left over tears from his cheeks. 

‘‘I don’t think either of us are in any fit state to drink. One of us will end up doing something stupid and reckless..’‘ Marlene said softly, her eyes still studying his face. Searching his features for any hint at what he was thinking.  ‘‘What do you need Sirius? It breaks my heart seeing you upset..’‘ 

Sirius didn’t quite believe her, at least not entirely, but he trusted her. He knew she wouldn’t lie to him in an extreme way- if it became a real problem, she would seek help. At least, he hoped she would. She wasn’t dumb, after all, not like he could be at times (especially when it came to himself). He gave her a smile and nodded. 

He stuck his tongue out at her before laughing again. “As if you’d let me bother you like this In the middle of the night if I was that annoying.” He said indignantly. “Even if I was annoying, though, it’d still be you subjecting yourself to it since I’m one of your favorite people ever.”

Sirius’ heart tripped over its next beat as his brain raced to figure out what Marlene meant. Before he could, though, she was speaking again and an airy laugh escaped his lips. She’s saved him from her own comment and he’d never been more relieved to be given an out from flirting. “I suppose if there was anyone whose moves I couldn’t handle it’d be yours. We are pretty evenly matched, after all.” It was true, no matter how much they argued the contrary. He competed with Marlene almost as much as he did with James, perhaps more. Even when one of them went ahead in something, the other’s determination usually had them caught up just in time to compete again. 

Sirius opened his mouth to speak, but whatever answer he was about to give died in his throat as he watched her hands decide for him. His heart was in his throat, and though he did his best to school his expression he was sure his heated face was giving him away. When she began laughing again, he let out a breath he hadn’t known he’d been holding. Sirius chuckled at his own expense and rested his head back on the sofa for a moment, composing himself. “I surrender, now stop trying to kill me, would you?” He admitted as he sat up again.

There was nothing untrue about her words- it was exactly what he aimed for, actually. It was much easier for that to be his reputation, lessening the amount of disappointment when he turned down dates and didn’t shower girls with flowers or take them out on Valentine’s Day like they wanted him to. He liked shagging around, sure, but he wasn’t a bad guy. So he made sure everyone knew what they were getting into before anything happened. Of course, there were still consequences. Girls who thought they were different, or that they could change him. Men who thought he was gay and that was why he didn’t settle down with any girls, but maybe he would with them. They always ended up upset with him, as if he’d false advertised. But then- why did it hurt when Marlene said it? 

“It’s not his fault, though. Not really.” Sirius insisted. This was an argument he’d had with James, but he didn’t want to argue with Marlene. He knew she was only trying to help, she just couldn’t grasp it, just like James couldn’t. Their families… they weren’t like his. And he was glad they weren’t, for his friends’ sake, but it made discussions like this more difficult because they couldn’t wrap their minds around it fully. “I had James and the others to show me how not to be a shitty pureblood. But before I had them to teach me- well, I had a lot of bad habits to break.” He let out a dry laugh. “You might remember. I dunno, we didn’t really talk then. But the point is, Reg doesn’t have mates to teach him. He’s only got ones reinforcing what our parents already have. So when he’s got people on all sides telling him that I’m the one whose got it wrong…” he shrugs. “I know I did what was right for me. And I don’t regret it. I just wish he wasn’t so blinded by them that he would’ve come with me."

Marlene wrapped herself around him and Sirius wasn’t sure if it was calming him or breaking him more. He knew logically this was was what he needed, but there was still the part of him that wanted to punch through a wall or drink until he couldn’t think anymore instead. But Marlene was a heavy weight in his lap, grounding him and he allowed himself to sink into her, his head in the crook of her neck as he tried with all he had to believe her comforting words. 

She wiped his remaining tears away with a gentleness that he’d never experienced before. Sirius felt his heart clench in his chest at the soft gesture. “Thank you,” he rasped out. He felt like if he spoke to loud it would break the strange perfection of the moment they were in. Maybe if he never broke it, he could just live in it’s warmth, in her warmth. 

Maybe it was the mention of recklessness, of the flirting from earlier spurring his thoughts on, but when Marlene looked at him like that and asked ‘What do you need?’ The only answer he could think of was sitting in his lap already. Sirius’ eyes trailed from her eyes down to her lips for a moment, then back up to her eyes- god, she looked so damn sincere. Like she really cared. Sirius leaned in, slowly, eyes still on hers as he closed the space between them and crashed their lips together. Immediately, the tension in his body relaxed, and he felt more himself than he had in hours, his hand finding its way into her hair.

[padfeets]

Dare Me (I Dare You)

[padfeets]

notromulus-but‌:

Remus always chose dare. Always. Truths led to complicated situations and stories he couldn’t tell. As long as he made sure to keep up on his vanity Charms before the party started and skip any parties near the moon, he kept himself out of trouble. Well. Out of Moony trouble anyhow. Definitely got himself into all sorts of other disasters. So when Sturgis asked, Remus barely hesitated. “Dare.”

Sturgis’s smirk widened and Remus raised an eyebrow in challenge. He’d made out with Sturgis in a few dark corners before. It had been fun, but nothing lasting. Neither of them had wanted that.

“I dare you…” Sturgis said, dragging it out as he glanced around the circle for potential inspiration, “to kiss…” his eyes skittered over Amelia and he snickered before moving on, “…Black. Really kiss him though, like you did Bones.”

“If you wanted a show you could’ve just asked.” Remus said as Amelia threw a book at Sturgis’s head.

“Alright, alright, not as good as you kissed her, then!” Sturgis said as he rubbed his head where the book had made contact.

Rolling his eyes, Remus forced himself not to overthink this. It wasn’t a big deal. It wasn’t a big deal because he refused to let it become one. “Fine, if that’s all.”

He wouldn’t let this become some sort of weird egged on thing. That would only make it worse to look back on. Besides, might as well. When else would he ever get the chance?

Remus turned around, threading one hand through Sirius’s hair to draw him in closer, and kissed him square on the mouth.

Sirius again gave Remus a playful elbow when he chose dare. He loved this side of his friend- unhesitating with an air of boldness. Fleetingly he wondered if any of it had to do with the time he’d spent with Amelia earlier.   

He felt a twinge in his chest when Sturgis said ‘kiss’, and he watched with curiosity as he scanned the circle for who it would be. Sirius brushed it off as a hint of jealousy- he liked to be the one to wingman his friend, not ruddy Podmore. He knew Remus better, anyway, so was a far better judge of who was worthy of Remus’ kisses.   

Then his eyes widened slightly at the mention of his name, and he felt himself calm. It wasn’t uncommon for Sirius to be used as the accomplice in kissing dares. It was better than some random person Remus didn’t know. Surely he’d be more comfortable with Sirius than anyone else, right?   

He chuckled along with Amelia’s antics, though his eyes kept flicking over to Remus. He wondered if his friend would turn the dare down, maybe not as lax about who he kissed in front of others as Sirius was. He worried for a moment- the last thing he wanted was to make Remus uncomfortable, especially since they had just recently gotten back to normal. 

Before his brain could run away with him, though, Remus was agreeing and had a hand in his hair. Sirius complied easily as Remus closed the space between them and their lips met.   

He kissed back, of course, as he would have if it was anyone else. But it wasn’t anyone, it was Remus, and it was... it was... he didn’t know. He didn’t have the words in his brain. Didn’t have any words in his brain at the moment, truthfully. Just the instinct to put his own hand in Remus’ hair and keep kissing because suddenly it was as if his life depended on it.

[marlenemcknncn]

how do you sleep? || marlene & sirius

[padfeets]

marlenemcknncn‌:

“I think that’s your special way of telling me I’m irreplaceable.” Marlene smirked at him; shooting a wink in his direction. She liked to think that Sirius James and herself with an unstoppable force on the quidditch pitch. Having a strong relationship on the pitch really helped; it allowed them to work together. Marlene loved their dynamic on the pitch, and their mischief off the pitch. She couldn’t imagine playing with anyone else; nor did she want to.

“Oh really? Here was me thinking annoying an Bain was more your cup of tea?” Marlene joked; swatting his arm as he teased her. The flirty banter had to be the better part of their friendship. While she was a notorious flirt; there was something about the banter she had with Sirius. She tended to push it further than she did with anyone else. Marlene only pushed it as far as he did; knowing that if she ever pushed it too far that Sirius would be be the first one to tell her and put her back in her place. “I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it? Unless you’re planning on following through with these empty promises.”

Marlene ran her free hand through her hair as she studied his face; knowing that she was proving her point as she teased. Her fingertips lightly grazing his arm as he spoke, trying to see how far she could push it. More so wanting to win; and prove that he was as flustered at she had been. “It’s okay; I’m aware of the effect I have. Its both a blessing and a curse. It’s okay you’re only human.” Marlene raised her eyebrows at him before; throwing her head back letting out a loud laugh.

Marlene took a long drag of the cigarette; enjoying the mild burning in her chest for a brief moment. When Sirius reached out to cup one of her cheeks; she couldn’t help the lurch her heart did. She hated that she couldn’t control it; and the effect he had on her sometimes. But alas here they were and here he was trying to give her a heart attack. “My minds my worst enemy; always has been. Probably always will be” Marlene’s hand covered his for a brief moment. Before the spell was broken as he brought up taking girls down to the quidditch pitch. “And they say that romance is dead..” Marlene rolled her eyes at him. “But I get your point; I’ve tried that. Trying to numb my mind with alcohol; and trying to lose myself in other people. But the dreams keep coming. Maybe I should go see Poppy.”

Marlene gave his shoulder a soft squeeze as he started to talk; she couldn’t imagine what it would be like for him. What it would be like to be ostracised from your family, no matter how awful they were or how much you didn’t get on with them. Marlene was so close with her family; she barely went a couple of days without talking to one of her siblings or her dad. “I’m so sorry. I can’t imagine how awful this must be for you, or what you’re going through.” Marlene’s thumb rubbed circles on his shoulder as he leaned into her. “Hold your head high; who gives a shit what the snakes think?” Marlene furrowed her eyebrows. “Have you tried talking to Regulus? Or how about writing down what you’re feeling? Writing him a letter or something like that? Maybe he doesn’t understand?” Marlene offered; looking at him softly. Her hand moving the play with the tendrils of his hair at his neck.

“You’re welcome. I’m always going to be here for you, no matter what.” Marlene smiled at him softly. “Whatever you need alright? I’ve got a bottle of fire whiskey stashed if you want me to go and get it?” Marlene pressed a soft kiss to his cheek; giving his arm another soft squeeze. ‘’Just let me know what you need.’’ 

“Yeah, yeah,” Sirius allowed, shoving her shoulder playfully with his own. “Take it how you want, it’s not something we’ll have to worry about since we’re gonna find a way to get you some rest so you won’t fall off your broom with exhaustion, huh?” he offered. He didn’t know what he could possibly do to help, but if they put their heads together they could probably think of something. Besides, if it even had the possibility of affecting her skill on the pitch James would have the whole of Gryffindor House coming up with solutions to get Marlene a good night sleep. But for now? “We’re in this together, okay? We’ll figure it out.”

Sirius let out an offended sound at her comment. “Annoying? Please. More like irresistible.” he corrected, running a hand through his hair in that way that he did when he saw girls watching him and wanted to egg them on. He felt a low swooping in his stomach at her next words, though, and met her eyes briefly. “I didn’t think you’d want me to follow through.” he admitted, more honest than playful like he was aiming for, so he continued, “Dunno if you could handle my follow through.”

He felt his calm control fleeting with every moment as her fingers raked slowly over his arm. She wasn’t even touching skin, for chrissake. He didn’t know where to look, her lips, her hand in her hair, her goddamn eyes in the stupid fucking firelight- for the shortest second he wondered if she really did want him to follow through. He wondered if he did. 

He missed what she said in that infinite second, and blinked to himself again when she threw her head back in laughter. Something like relief flooded his stomach and he laughed too, shaking his head at her. “Difference is, you put all that effort in. I just came down without a shirt- effortless. You aren’t a master yet.” Despite the comment he tugged his cardigan closed again, taking another drag of his forgotten cig. 

“Yeah,” Sirius mumbled, “Been there. Nobody knows how to fuck you up better than you do.” Oh, had he been there. He was there every night, as he wandered the halls of 12 Grimmauld Place in his sleep. In the early mornings, when James talked him down from long nights left alone with his thoughts. After seeing the Slytherins in the hallways, hearing their whispers about him that were far too close to the truth for comfort. His skin itched just thinking about it.

He let out a dry chuckle, though. “Shut it, McKinnon. It’s not like I mislead girls or anything. They know they’re not getting romance- not from me.” It wasn’t that he wasn’t the romance type. He actually really was. It was practically impossible not to be at least a little romantic when you listened to James Potter moon over Lily Evans for years. But Sirius... he didn’t care about it for himself. It wasn’t what he was looking for, especially not right before curfew when he was looking to exhaust himself with sex instead of- what, even? Someone to date? To love? He had that, already, in his friends. Truthfully, he wasn’t sure if he could love anyone else. He didn’t even know what was. 

He nodded seriously at her admittance. “You should. Poppy’s got stuff for everything, and she’s damn understanding. With all the shit going on right now, I’m sure you’re not the only one not sleeping.” He felt bad that he couldn’t help more, but anything Poppy could do would surely be far more effective than whatever scheme for a temporary fix Sirius could come up with. 

He relished her touch more than he thought he would. It wasn’t that he was touch-starved. He and James were far too tactile people for that, touching each other constantly. But Marlene’s touch was different than James’. Her hands softer, gentler. Her shoulder smaller, but still comforting. “That’s just it. I don’t care what they think, not really. But Regulus does. He already thought low enough of me from the shit they say, now he really has basis to believe them.” He heard how his voice got raspier with each word as his throat burned with suppressed emotion. He didn’t want to do this, not now. It was late, and Marlene had her own shit to worry about. She didn’t need the Black Family Tragedy on her hands, too. 

And yet, he let out a wet chuckle, and kept fucking talking. “I wrote him a letter when I left.” another chuckle, more manic this time, “Well, no. I wrote that I was sorry- it was all I had time for, she was-” another cut off laugh, “but I didn’t want to leave him without anything at all. I tried to talk to him after the welcome back feast, but-” he sniffed a bit, a sad attempt at reigning in the tears that he’d lost his grip on. “Clearly my shitty goodbye letter wasn’t good enough for him. Can’t say I blame him, really.” 

“Fuck, I’m sorry.” Sirius groaned, rubbing at his eyes furiously. “I didn’t mean to- I, fuck.” He hated himself like this, so out of control he couldn’t even get his thoughts straight. “I appreciate it.” he said seriously, taking her hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “That’s up to you. I’m not sure what sort of drunk I’ll be tonight, but if you want to subject yourself to it then be my guest.” He thought about sitting up, stretching, composing himself. But he didn’t want to move out of her space, not until she did. 

[padfeets]

Dare Me (I Dare You)

[padfeets]

notromulus-but‌:

Watching Sirius attempt to do yoga shouldn’t have made his heart do stupid things. Nor should it bring such fondness to his eyes, because honestly it was a bit of a sorry sight. This was the boy his heart had chosen for him, this cocky sixteen year old who couldn’t quite figure out downward dog. Remus stiffled his smile and swallowed his smile. He glanced at Amelia and found her watching him still. Merlin he hoped he hadn’t blown that chance.

As Sirius flopped back down, Remus patted his shoulder in faux sympathy. “You really ought to keep more limber, what happens if you cramp during important moments?”

Remus leaned behind Sirius to mouth ‘sorry’ at Peter. Whenever they played this game, he felt as though Pete got picked on. It wasn’t their friend’s fault he wasn’t the best at dares and usually had embarrassing secrets.

Pete groaned, trying to shrink back into the carpet. “Umm, truth?” He decided as he fidgeted. Something told Remus that he’d rather not have to experience Sirius’s brand of ‘dare’.

Sirius smirked at Remus at his comment. “Don’t fret for me, Moony, I can be limber when it counts.” he nudged his elbow against Remus’ playfully before turning to look at Peter. 

“Truth, Pete? C’mon. Okay, er...” he had to wrack his brain for a moment- he was a connoisseur of dares and an avoider of truths, so they came harder to him asking-wise as well. Then, Sirius snapped his fingers and pointed at Pete. “Most embarrassing thing you’ve done in front of a crowd- that wasn’t us, obviously.”

Peter groaned, and Sirius shot him an innocent smile. Pete sat up a little straighter and began telling a story about being in a production when he had attended muggle school and forgetting his lines on stage. Clearly it wasn’t the worst question he could’ve asked, because Pete was chuckling through it with the rest of them. 

When the laughter and supportive comments from Peter’s story faded out, he turned to Sturgis Podmore, who accepted his dare of switching clothes with the person beside him rather smoothly. To an array of catcalls and wolf whistles, Sturgis ended up in a hot pink crop top and the 7th year girl beside him was practically swimming in the sweater he’d been wearing, both their faces rather red. 

Sturgis, fussing with the collar of his new shirt, looked around the circle looking for his victim. Sirius followed his eyes to fall on Remus, and smirked when Sturgis asked Remus: “Truth or dare, Lupin?” 

[marlenemcknncn]

how do you sleep? || marlene & sirius

[padfeets]

marlenemcknncn‌:

Marlene appreciated the worry; she really did. But there wasn’t anything that was going to force her out of a game. ‘’How considerate of you, is this because you know that you’ll get creamed without me carrying the team on my shoulders?’’ She teased playfully.

‘‘It’s a mutually beneficial situation; besides my wage mostly comes in cups of coffee. I like it strong and black; just for future reference.’‘ Marlene smiled brightly in Sirius’ direction; of course she knew that he’d spent the summer with the Potters. But she wasn’t clear on all the details and didn’t like to assume such things. 

‘‘As if you’ve never been flustered in a cloudy haze of tiredness and insomnia?’‘ Marlene raised an eyebrow; moving her arm so her jumper slid off her shoulder. Looking up at him through her eyelashes; pulling her bottom lip through her teeth. Purely to tease the bugger for being so damn egotistic. ‘‘Like right now for example?’‘ 

‘‘You’re right there..’‘ All evidence of the lighthearted teasing gone from her voice; thinking on the reality of everything. ‘‘We’re all dying anyway; so really we’re just speeding up the inevitable.’‘ Ever the pessimist; Marlene shrugged her shoulders softly at her own comment. Taking a cigarette from the packet and lighting it between her teeth. ‘‘May as well say fuck it and enjoy it while we can.’‘ 

Marlene wasn’t strong; or at least she didn’t think she was. She was very good at hiding how she was really feeling and excellent at pushing all her feelings to one side to focus on someone else.  ‘’It felt really real. I haven’t had dreams about her for months and suddenly they are back and won’t go away.’’ Marlene ran a hand through her hair; letting out a soft sigh. ‘’I’ve tried everything..’’ 

When Sirius started talking; she moved closer to him. Almost curled into a ball at his side as her hand remained on top of his; her free hand coming to rest on his shoulder. Mimicking his movements on her knee; on his shoulder. Wanting to give him some comfort when he evidently needed it. 

‘‘I knew that you’d spent the summer with the Potters obviously; but I didn’t realise what happened at home.’‘ Marlene pursed her lips for a moment. ‘‘I know it doesn’t make you feel better, or take away any of the pain. But I think you’re family are to horrendously stupid to treat you the way they have.’‘ She gave his hand a soft squeeze. ‘‘Besides you’re always going to have all of us; and you can do so much better than people who treat you like that. Regardless of whether they’re blood or not.’‘ 

Sirius scoffed, turning his head away dramatically. “Maybe I just don’t want to have to deal with whoever would take your place,” he told her, grinning. “Worked hard enough to find a balance with you, eh?” That was a complete lie, of course. Sirius had been a fair chaser before he and Marlene had played together, especially flanking James. Adding Marlene to the mix, though, they were the perfect trifecta, the (un)holy trinity. Sirius didn’t have to look to know where either of them were on the pitch, he could sense them, anticipate their moves. He couldn’t imagine playing alongside anyone else, and certainly didn’t want to have to.    

He let out a laugh at her wanting to be paid in coffee, but a sly smile settled on his lips when she told him how she liked it. “Strong and Black, huh?” He wiggled his eyebrows to further his joke, “That’s something I can deliver on.” He nudged her elbow with his playfully. It was another thing he loved about their friendship- more often than not he couldn’t joke with girls like this. They’d get too shy or flustered or think he’d gone too far. Marlene knew, or at least he thought she did since she had yet to smack him, that innuendos and dirty comments flew out of his mouth before his brain could even process them. That he thought they were hilarious, but wasn’t truly a pig like most labeled him. His jokes never crossed any moral lines, they just traipsed over people’s comfort lines sometimes, but he always apologized when they did and took note of it, so he wasn’t all bad.    

“Me, flustered?” Sirius asked, puffing out an indignant breath. Then of course, in a very McKinnon fashion she proved her point as his eyes narrowed in on her mouth as she bit her lip. He rolled his eyes, huffing out a laugh and pointedly looking at her eyes instead- not much better when she was looking at him like that. “I don’t know if flustered is quite the feeling that springs up, Marls.” He smirked, looking away from her. 

In a very hypocritical fashion, he didn’t like that pessimistic train of thought, not from her. He let her be, though, knowing he really couldn’t say anything to the contrary. In reality, he and the Marauders had this argument constantly when Sirius had picked up the habit back in second year. They’d come to the conclusion that despite cigarettes being harmful to Muggles, by the time they’d smoked long enough for it to kill them the wizarding healers would surely have come up with a potion or something to cure it. So Sirius let her take one and watched her light it, not expecting the motion to be as alluring as it was. He found himself having to look away from her again. 

Sirius reached his hadn’t forward and cupped one of Marlene’s cheeks gently. “Our minds really work against us sometimes, huh?” He stroked her cheek lightly, giving her a small smile. “It’s why I’m out here. Sometimes I even go down to the pitch, or if it’s early enough find a girl and…” he trailed off, knowing she’d get the gist. “I’ve found it’s easier not to dream when I’m worn out, is the point I was getting at.” He finished, chuckling a little in spite of himself. He hated the feel of his ears flushing. He could talk about these things with Marlene as much as he could with the boys, sometimes even moreso- she didn’t have the jealousy that Peter sometimes had about the topic, nor the judgmental face that Remus tried so hard not to give him. 

Marlene settled into his side and the urge to isolate himself from her warred with the comfort her touch gave him. When he was upset and dealing with these things, he craved touch more than he usually did (which was already a lot), but he also had such a thin grasp on his emotions and lashed out more often as well. So, when he was upset, more often than not he distanced himself from everyone except James, who knew exactly how to crack his walls down and reach him every time. This time, he pushed through his own walls, allowing himself to lean against Marlene as well. 

“It’s like, just when I was okay again we had to come back to Hogwarts.” He continued quietly. “I love it here more than anywhere, but having to be here knowing that all the Slytherins must know my family’s side of the story by now. And seeing Reg in the halls…” he takes a shaky breath, “He won’t even look at me.” It was that, thoughts of his brother, that hurt the most out of all of this. Sirius had always known how his parents felt about him, they had never tried to hide it. But there had been a time when Regulus had loved him, and Sirius knew he always would love Regulus and want to protect him. And yet he’d left him in order to protect himself instead. Not very Gryffindor of him, he supposed. 

He gave Marlene a sad smile. “Thank you,” he said softly, giving her a gentle kiss on the forehead.

[padfeets]

Dare Me (I Dare You)

[padfeets]

notromulus-but‌:

Remus ended up across the circle from Amelia, which suited him just fine. Making shy, charged eye contact with her sure beat thinking about whether or not he’d have to spend the next few years ducking his best friend. If who he kissed turned out to be worse than the fiasco with Snape, Remus was just going to sign his entire life over to horrible irony and bad timing.

He missed what Frank had said to his own thoughts and Amelia’s smile: a lethal combination he hadn’t anticipated. Spending so much time around Sirius had made him forget how intense the beginning of things always felt.

Frank asked Marlene, and she was made to give the Fourth Year Prefect a lap dance to whatever stupid song was playing in the background. Frank hadn’t specified the gender, so the poor girl Marlene chose went bright pink as James and Dorcas egged Marlene on. Remus had to admit, Marlene had good form.

“Sirius,” Marlene said, smoothing her clothes as she sat down. “Truth or dare?”

Remus refocused immediately.

Sirius tried to stop paying attention to Remus. Really, he did. But it was somehow harder to stop being aware of his friend beside him once Sirius realized where Remus’ focus was. He could see Amelia Bones making eyes at him from across the circle, and Remus making eyes right back. He kept watching out of the corner of his eye, the warm feeling in his chest fading fast.

James’ laughter from his other side caught his attention and he looked back to the game, where Marlene was putting on quite a show for her dare. He laughed along with his friends, putting a hand on James’ shoulder for support.    

He shrank into James’ side when Marlene turned her attention to him as he reclaimed her proper seat. “Truth or dare?” She asked him.     

His answer was almost automatic. “Dare”    

He didn’t like the smile that spread across Marlene’s face at his answer. “Do you remember when I tried to show you a few yoga moves?” She asked. Sirius nodded, already resigning himself to his fate. He knew that impromptu yoga class would come back to bite him. He’d never tell Marlene he was bored again. “Show everyone the poses you remember.” 

He sighed dramatically but got up and moved to the middle of the circle. He looked around and made a face. “You guys might want to make the circle a little bigger for this one” he chuckled. They listened to him, a wise choice, and he began, slowly bringing one of his feet to rest on his thigh, standing on one leg- at least until he wobbled and tipped over. There was laughter, and a few hands steadying him. He moved on, bending forward into what he remembered of downward dog, only wobbling slightly. He attempted a few others, probably incorrectly, ending most of them by falling just as he had when he’d learned them. Then he went on to child’s pose and sighed contently. “This is the one I was good at,” he told the group, curled in on himself in the most comfortable position Marlene had showed him. 

Marlene gave him a sarcastic round of applause, and he got up and took a bow before flopping back to his spot between James and Remus. He took a long look around the circle until his eyes landed on Peter and he smirked. “My dear Pete, truth or dare?"

[padfeets]

Dare Me (I Dare You)

( @notromulus-but )

Sirius beamed at Remus when he took his arm and, with James on the other arm, paraded over to where Peter was waving at them from. Everyone who was waiting to play had arranged themselves in somewhat of a circle. There was so much warmth in Sirius’ chest, having all his friends around like this. He’d missed this feeling dearly while he and Remus had been fighting, and having it back now only intensified the feeling.

He flopped down beside Peter and made room for Remus beside him as James stepped in as ringleader to introduce the game: Truth or Dare. Since being constantly full of both truths and dares was practically a personality trait for James, he also volunteered to go first and Sirius chuckled at his enthusiasm. He watched in amusement as James zeroed in on Frank Longbottom who sat across the circle from them.

In true Head Boy fashion, Frank chose truth and the look on James’ face told Sirius what kind of game this was going to be. “It’s life and death, you have to snog one Professor. Who do you choose?”

There was immediate laughter around the circle, but Frank put on a serious face, really considering. “McGonagall,” Frank said rather confidently. The group was full of laughs and mixed comments, and then it was Frank’s turn.

As Frank thought, Sirius became more and more aware of the space between himself and Remus. It was far less electric than it had been when they were dancing, which he should have been relieved about, but instead found himself missing it. Not as much as he missed the brief contact they’d had when he’d been bold enough to close the space, though. Someone else in the circle spoke, and he forced his attention back to the game, sitting up a little straighter.

[marlenemcknncn]

how do you sleep? || marlene & sirius

[padfeets]

marlenemcknncn‌:

‘‘If I tell her I’m sick; theres no way she’ll let me play this weekend.’‘ Marlene shrugged her shoulders softly; she’d rather be a little tired during the day, than miss a game of quidditch.’‘I’ll drink plenty of coffee; and I might even try take a mid afternoon nap.’‘ She let out a soft chuckle. ‘‘Don’t worry; I’ll be fine.’‘  

‘‘I’ve gotten a promotion in the friends department; just so you know. I’ll be demanding a pay rise.’‘ Marlene teased him; slipping easily into an easier conversation. Something that didn’t make her palms sweaty and her heart race. ‘‘Me too…’‘ She said; raising her eyebrows at her own woods. ‘‘I mean; I’m also glad that it’s just me; and now some innocent little first year who might faint at the sight of a naked torso… or you know; someone who might try jump your bones on the common room sofa… not that I’m glad it’s me; just that I’m glad it’s not someone else.. I’m going to shut up now.’‘ Marlene fumbled; her eyes widened as she spoke, her voice seeming to raise an octave as she spoke.  ‘‘I’m tired okay; my brains not working. ‘‘

‘‘I never claimed not to be a hypocrite.’‘ Marlene cocked her head to the side as he pulls the pack of cigarettes from his pocket, she reaches over and pulls one out of the pack. ‘‘You know these things’ll kill you?’‘ Marlene pondered; fiddling with the white stick passing it between her fingers before sticking it between her lips. ‘‘Our fates not currently looking too fab; so what’s the harm in this.’‘ She shrugged her shoulders and leaned forward waiting for him to light the cigarette.

When Sirius’ hand comes to rest on her knee; her hand moves to cover it. Squeezing softly; providing her with soft form of comfort. It made her feel safe; for a moment she felt very grounded, the terror that had gripped her in her sleep fading away.  Marlene took a deep breath before looking down at their hands; ‘’I was in a maze; it was cold and dark and there wasn’t anyway out. I just kept running and running; I could hear voices shouting my name but every time I felt I was getting closer to them they faded away and changed direction.’’ Marlene ran her free hand down her face.  ‘’When I finally caught up to one of the voices; I was…’’ She bit down on her lip to stop it from quivering.  ‘’It was my mum; lying on the ground. I was too late and I couldn’t save her.’’ Silent tears fell down her cheeks as she let out a shaky breath. Marlene had been having nightmares about her Mum; ever since she went missing.The same maze dream; but it kept changing; sometimes it was her siblings or her friends. It was becoming unbearable.  ‘’Sorry; I know it’s just a dream. I shouldn’t be getting this upset about something that’s not real.’’

‘‘Well let’s hope that that day never occurs.’‘ Marlene set out a soft chuckle, wiping the tears away from her face. Before sitting up straighter, raising an eyebrow at Sirius.  ‘‘Why’re you having bother sleeping? Has something happened?’‘

Sirius nodded sagely. There were a lot of reasons not to play sick Sirius didn’t understand, like wanting to be a good student and other meaningless things like that, but if there was one thing he got it was Quidditch. “Too right you are.” He agreed. Quidditch couldn’t be sacrificed. “Midafternoon nap, definitely. I’ll even keep my noise level to a minimum after classes if it’ll help.” 

 He let out a laugh. “Sorry, I must’ve missed the memo I started paying friends. My friends’ve missed it too, clearly,” he said, carefully keeping his tone light. Money and friends weren’t the best topics to mix right now for him, not when he’d mooched off The Potters all summer and had only a few galleons to his name. 

That line of thought cleared when Marlene spoke again and he let out a startled laugh. “I know what you mean, Marls, don’t stress. I know it’s easy to get flustered with all this on display.” He teased, winking exaggeratedly. There was nothing like an ego boost to raise his spirits. “Sounds like it’s working fine to me.” 

 Sirius swallowed thickly at her next words. He did indeed know how bad cigarettes were supposed to be for you- that was the entire reason he’d started, not that he’d told anyone that. Not that he ever would. It was a long time since that conversation with his father, about finally doing something right. “Everything’ll kill you,” is what he says instead. He lights his own and puts it in his mouth. “You’re sure? S’a bad habit.” He tells her, not wanting to push it on her. 

 He takes a deep drag of his own, and sighs out the smoke. He hates that he already feels a bit better. He gently rubs his thumb across her knee as he listens to her nightmare. He winces when tears start to roll down her cheeks, feeling a bit guilty for making her talk about it. He squeezes her knee in a way he hopes is comforting. “Hey, don’t sell your feelings short. If I had a dream like that about someone I cared about I’d be upset too.” He couldn’t say his mother, exactly, but if it were any of his friends, or Regulus or Andromeda- he didn’t even want to think about it. 

 “Let’s hope,” Sirius agreed. He watched, a bit transfixed as Marlene pulled herself together. She was so damn strong. He wished he was like that, strong like all his friends instead of leaning on them all the time. 

 He gave her a small smile when she asked about his own sleep trouble. He took another drag and waited for the smoke to burn his lungs a bit before exhaling. He only coughed a little, his lungs used to this abuse by now. Sirius trained his eyes on where their hands overlapped on Marlene’s knee, beginning to rub it with his thumb again, though this time as more of a comfort to him than her. “I always joked about running off and living with the Potters. But somehow I didn’t think I’d ever really have to.” He admitted, sinking further into the sofa.

 “But when I got home this summer I just… hell, I tried, Marlene.” Sirius swallowed roughly, took another drag of his cig for composure. “Didn’t work out, though. Instead I had a lovely summer with the Potters and lost my spot on the esteemed Black family tree.” He hoped the sarcasm in his voice disguised how much what he’d been waiting his whole life for actually stung.

[padfeets]

All Night Longer

[padfeets]

notromulus-but‌:

The look on Sirius’s face and the smirk he gave would absolutely fuel many late nights alone with his hand, Remus could tell. He liked Amelia Bones quite a bit, she was delightful, smart, funny, witty and gorgeous as hell. If he got to spend more time kissing her behind greenhouses or in closets or in bedrooms he’d be glad. He’d long excepted the fact that he’d never get to spend that sort of time with Sirius.

Remus let out an unsteady breath, raising an eyebrow in challenge. He knew, he absolutely knew, that other people were watching this. It could sink any chance he had with Amelia, whatever happened next. He’d never had a chance with Sirius. Sirius liked girls. Remus did too, but that wasn’t the point. Toying with Sirius the way he toyed with boys in Conwy (or rather the way they toyed with him) would be loads of fun but it wouldn’t work.

He took the slightest step back even though he missed the closeness like a limb the minute he did so. God if there was even a chance in hell.

“I’m hardly a Casanova back home.” Remus said, amused. “Taking a few boys and some girls on maybe a few dates doesn’t make a heart breaker.” He rolled his hips like Sirius and cocked an eyebrow. “Something like that?”

Remus’ words sank in and Sirius’ motion slowed just a fraction. He blinked up at his friend. A few boys, he’d said. So casually. Had Sirius known that? Was it the alcohol that was making this new information, or had he really missed something like that? Something so vital about someone so important to him? He wanted to ask, but the part of him that still had an ounce of sense said it wasn’t the time. That sense was about to be overtaken by his lack of impulse control when Remus spoke again. 

Sirius looked to his friend’s lower half to watch his movement and cheered, grinning back up at him. “Told you! You’ve got it!” 

He knew how this must look, and all his mother’s prejudices he worked years to rebel against and stamp out were screaming in the back of his mind, but Remus dulled everything for him. There was no room in his alcohol addled brain right now for anything that wasn’t Remus Lupin or his goddamn hips. He couldn’t decide where he wanted to look more- up at his eyes: always a good distraction, down to his rotating hips, or the smile that sat at eye level with Sirius, each tug of the corner of his mouth pulling one of his heartstrings closer, closer. Merlin, Sirius wanted to- 

A body all but crashed into him, one he quickly recognized as James by the gift of black curls in his face now draped over his back. If Sirius wasn’t so used to James’ antics, or perhaps was a little drunker, he, James, and Remus would probably be a heap on the floor. Thankfully, he only stumbled slightly and put an arm out to steady himself on Remus’ shoulder. 

“Bloody hell, James” Sirius chuckled, pushing away the remnants of his prior thoughts. 

James grinned at his friends, a smile that was very familiar to Sirius. He was up to something. “Come on, lads, we’re starting up truth or dare!” James said, taking his weight off Sirius to link their arms together instead. Sirius wanted to keep dancing, basking in the glory that was Remus’ moves, but he knew there was no use fighting James especially when it was time for one of his favorite games. Sirius could never say no to James for anything, anyway. 

“What do you say, Rem?” Sirius asked, extending to his other arm to Remus in question.

[marlenemcknncn]

how do you sleep? || marlene & sirius

[padfeets]

marlenemcknncn‌:

Marlene looked at the clock briefly; letting out a sigh as her eyes confirmed the fact Sirius had told her. ‘’Officially need to be up in four hours; seems pointless to even try sleep now.’’ Marlene rested her head against the back of the couch. ‘’Oh yes, the humblest of the compadres.’’ 

‘‘Thankfully; it’s just me and not just anyone?’‘ Marlene smirked at him, shaking her head softly for a minute. This was easy; slipping into this kind of chat with Sirius was as easy as falling asleep, usually. Of course; she wouldn’t class him as one of her best best friends; that was a tight circle. But he always seemed to be able to relate to her, and actually make her feel better more than most. 

‘‘Peachy?’‘ She retorted; raising an eyebrow. ‘‘Sounds about right; coming down to smoke by the fire at three in the morning because you’re feeling fantastic?’‘ Marlene pointed out sarcastically; running a hand through her hair. Pushing it off of her face. 

‘‘I don’t know yet; I’ve been having the same recurring one for like a week now. I should be desensitised to it by now. But the bastarding thing keeps evolving; finding new ways to freak me out.’‘ Marlene shivered for a minute; letting out a shaky breath as her mind drifted back to her nightmare. 

‘‘Oh of course; can’t have them getting a minute less than their prescribed eight hours of sleep. There would be a disaster of monstrous proportions. ‘‘

Sirius felt a little sadness in his chest at the thought of Marlene dozing off during the next day’s classes to make up for tonight’s lost sleep. “Maybe you should just skip tomorrow. Tell Minnie you’re ill.” 

He rolled his eyes at her. “You’re hardly ‘just’ anyone. You know that.” he remarks, reaching forward a bit to shove her shoulder gently. “Of all the people to see me topless tonight, I am glad it’s you and not some scandalized first year.” he prods, always angling to get just one more smile out of her. He didn’t know what compelled him to do it with her more than anyone else, but he didn’t pay it much thought. 

Sirius lets out a snort at Marlene’s sarcastic tone. “You’re one to talk.” he snarks back. “Speaking of,” he says, reaching into his pants pocket and pulling out his cigarettes. “You don’t mind, do you? I can go over to the window if you want.” he makes himself busy taking a cig out of the pack, then his lighter. “You can have one if you want. I’ve got plenty upstairs.” he offers, leaving the pack between them. 

“Sounds awful,” Sirius sympathizes. His chest tightens again when he sees the way Marlene shivers, seemingly from the thought of her nightmare. He reaches his hand out and puts it on her knee in what he hopes is comfort. He’s never been good at comfort, he’s more of a distraction. “It might help if you talk about it. The actual dream, I mean. Sometimes it makes them go away, I’ve found.” 

“If you saw James after less than his minimum, believe me, you’d go out of your way to make sure he always got it, too.” Sirius half joked. “If you want the truth, I’ve just been having trouble sleeping, is all.” he shrugs, as if it’s normal for him to be using magic to cover up the bags under his eyes each morning. 

[padfeets]

All Night Longer

[padfeets]

notromulus-but‌:

“It’s horror at dating here. I’d say set me in up in Conwy, but I don’t actually have problems getting dates back home.” Remus said. He knew Sirius’s reputation proceeding him on things like this, but he also knew Sirius; the actual Sirius, that scared boy behind it all that had teeth in Remus’s heart.

Sirius’s smile set everything under his skin alight. Remus had almost forgotten that his friend could do this to him and do it so effortlessly. Amelia’s lipstick had left a sticky residue on his neck and his lips remained chapped from kissing her, yet Sirius Black set his skin on fire. It seemed impossible for both of these things to make the same impact on his heart, but they did so anyways.

Then Sirius was in his space and all thoughts of Amelia flew right out the window. All thoughts at all flew out the window, period. He stepped closer in return, challenge glinting in his eyes.

Sirius was the only thing he could see, smell, hear. It was all a bit much.

He copied Sirius motion for motion for a bit, chest tight. “That’s a fairly bold assumption, Padfoot.” He said and it sounded more breathy and less cocky than he wanted, so on a self-sabotaging whim Remus remembered something a boy named Patrick had once done to him in an star-lit alley and rolled his hips up against Sirius’s own.

“I don’t know what I’m more shocked at,” Sirius blinked, only half playing the part. “That you think dating here is horror or that you’re some kind of Casanova back home.” He forced a chuckle past his lips, but his mind was on overdrive. They had moments like this, sometimes. As the years went on they were farther and few between, but not unheard of. Times when Sirius had to face the startling realization of how impossibly infinite Remus Lupin was. That despite everything Remus was to him, there was still more. More he didn’t know, hadn’t seen. Things other people knew about him than Sirius did. Things Remus, for whatever reason, hadn’t told him. Which wasn’t exactly fair. Everyone was entitled to privacy, he reminded himself, forcing his train of thought back on track. 

“I won’t push, mate. Sorry if I did. You know I just want to see you happy.” He smiled, a bit more reserved, maybe sheepish, but true. He shoves Remus lightly with his elbow for good measure, maybe to ground himself a bit, too. 

Remus got closer to him in some impossible way, and Sirius’ heart was on fire. It wasn’t like they hadn’t been this close before. Closer, even. All the nonsense they got up to with James and Peter left them in positions far stranger than this. But James and Peter weren’t here, laughing in the background. No, no one was laughing at all. Especially not when Remus spoke in a strange, unfamiliar voice. Just another part of his friend he’d yet to discover. 

When Remus moved against him, Sirius’ heart skipped several beats. He was glad at the volume in room, because it mercifully drowned out the surprised gasp he let out. He opened his eyes -though he didn’t remember ever making the decision to close them- and smirked at Remus in a way that was usually reserved for... well, certainly not Remus. “A bit more rhythmic and I’d say you’ve got it.” Sirius demonstrates, moving his hips in a fluid, circular motion to meet Remus’, biting the inside of his cheek to keep hold of himself. He thinks he manages to keep with the beat, but it’s hard to tell over the sound of his heart pounding in his ears. 

[padfeets]

All Night Longer

[padfeets]

notromulus-but‌:

Remus knew that. He did. After all, he’d spent the last six years of his life watching James attempt to woo Lily. Most of it involved failing miserably, but sometimes these days he thought she didn’t look terribly opposed to spending time with James. Not like Remus would ever tell. James’s ego could barely fit through the door as it was.

“Oh Merlin, please do not set me up on dates.” Remus said, mortified. He had absolutely no idea what Sirius thought his taste in dates looked like and he really wasn’t sure he wanted to find out. Especially not with people he lived with and had to keep living with for another year and a half. Merlin no. He’d die of embarrassment.

The tension broke as Sirius began dancing and Remus could already feel the fond smile creeping on to his face. It had been a while since he’d danced with Sirius (a sentence he tried not to look too closely at), and just as long since he’d smiled like this. “Are you sure that counts as dancing?” Remus teased as he began to move to the music as well, pulling out some of the moves he’d seen kids around Conwy use. “Shape up your form, Black.”

Sirius let out a loud chuckle at the look on Remus’ face. “Is that horror at dates in general, or one set up by me?” he asked, still laughing a little. He thought maybe he should be offended that one of his best friends felt this way about how he conducted his love life, but he really couldn’t blame Remus. He was sure it was better than what most of the castle thought about it. It didn’t seem to matter that so little of it was true. 

“For the record, my dates are always quite pleased at the end of the night, so I can’t be too terrible a date planner.” He smirked at Remus. “I know how that sounds, and it’s definitely true in both regards.”

Sirius was immediately glad that the music had changed since his dancing brought such a smile to Remus’ face. That kind, happy smile had a remarkable way of setting Sirius’ chest on fire. He’d never get used to it, never tire of it. He found himself returning it, practically beaming. He couldn’t help his eyes wandering as Remus began dancing, too, though he immediately saw it for the mistake it was. His friend might not have had the grooviest moves, but watching his hips move in any kind of fashion had Sirius’ cheeks burning. The better view was Remus’ face, anyway, Sirius reminded himself as grinned at the taller boy. “Me? Come on, Rem, I know you can move better than that.” he insisted, taking Remus’ hand and stepping further into his friend’s space. He continued moving to the beat, but slower, so perhaps his friend could follow his moves. “We’ll make a dancer of you yet, Lupin.” 

[marlenemcknncn]

how do you sleep? || marlene & sirius

[padfeets]

marlenemcknncn‌:

It took Marlene a moment to process that someone had spoken to her; eventually dragging her eyes away from the flames she could have let out a laugh at the state that Sirius was presenting himself in. The cardigan and pajama combo that really wasn’t leaving an awful lot to the imagination. Her eyes studied him closely for a minute before she released her knees from her arms and sat back against the couch; letting out a soft sigh. 

‘‘You can say that; I’ve lost track of the time at this point.’‘ Marlene let out a soft chuckle as he pulled his cardigan around himself. ‘‘Well there’s no point getting all self conscious now. I’ve already witnessed this is real life 3d surround sound.’‘ She teased him, shooting a wink in his direction. it was an odd sort of friendship they had; they weren’t best friends or anything. But they had this mutual understanding of each other.  Out of everyone who could have found her sitting there in the common room; she was glad that it was Sirius that had been the one to find her. 

Marlene ran a hand through her hair as she turned on the couch so that she was facing him. ‘’Would I be sitting in front of the fire in the middle of the night if I was okay?’’ She rolled her eyes at him; before letting out a long sigh. She wasn’t good at this sort of thing anymore; opening up to someone and actually telling them what was wrong with her. It was much easier for her to laugh and joke and play it off , than letting someone close enough to see the version of herself that hid behind her carefully constructed mask. 

‘‘Just a nightmare; couldn’t get back to sleep. So thought this might help me get back to sleep. I guess I was wrong.’‘ She shrugged her shoulders softly. ‘‘How about you? What brings you into the public domain this late at night?’‘ 

Sirius sat down beside Marlene as she she shifted positions. “It’s around 3,” he told her solemnly. He pulled at his sweater even more at her remark, but laughed anyway. “Excuse you, I am a humble man, I’ll have you know.” his grin spread wider as he spoke. 

“I didn’t exactly expect to run into anyone down here.” Sirius Black certainly had his insecurities, but his looks were never one of them. Neither was his friendship with Marlene. He’d never be as close to her as she was with the boys, but they always seemed to be there for each other in the most unexpected of times. They didn’t know each other the best, but somehow he never had to worry about being himself around her, something he was thankful for. 

He matched her, turning towards her and crossing his legs in front of him. “I was coming down to do the same thing, and I’m peachy.” he told her, shrugging. It wasn’t entirely true, but he wasn’t not okay, either. 

He frowned at her when she told him about her nightmare. Oh, how painfully alike they could be at times. “That sucks.” he sighed, empathetic. “Do you want to talk about it?” 

“I just came down for a smoke.” he explained. “Didn’t want to wake the boys. You know how they need their beauty rest.”