hell

if ur not struggling with mental disorders, please leave 22 / 182 cm / cw: 52 kg / gw: 58kg / gw2: 56 kg / ugw: 54kg / hw: 66,1 kg / lw: 53,4 kg (2017) | 51,5 (2022)/

[molten-lavender]

I think I love tumblr the most bc I don't owe anyone anything. I can come on here and reblog the most unhinged ridiculous shit and then leave. I'm not giving any explanation.

[bakwaaas]

I feel like I’m delusional and hyper self-aware at the same time

[surqrised]

“I think you lost all interest in this world. You were disappointed and discouraged, and lost interest in everything. So you abandoned your physical body. You went to a world apart and you’re living a different kind of life there. In a world inside you.”

— Haruki Murakami, 1Q84

[yms1]

What’s the problem?

Me

[engulfes]

spring is so consistently healing for me !!! I always forget how much my mood is impacted by the weather until the sun comes out and the trees start growing leaves again and everything is good

[paininherchest]

i lost 6 kg in 3 months and i was eating normally…

[ceramicfawn]

im obsessed w looking sick

[guilt-tw]

HhhHMmmM… I’m high :0

[paininherchest]

ironic how i’m under my ugw and still not satisfied

[paininherchest]

today i reached my lowest weight, probably since my childhood years…52,9kg

[paininherchest]

i spent the friday night partying and not eating until yesterday’s dinner then at 10pm i took a sleeping pill my doctor prescribed me and slept for 17 hours...and suddenly i’m at my goal weight of 54kg...successful weekend i’d say

[thoradvice]

it’s hard to hang on to the good things in life when mental illness is hitting hard, but there truly are so many good things for you to experience and discover. romanticising these little things make the bad seem less overwhelming and all-consuming. there will always be cookies to bake. flowers to pick. dogs to pet. hot showers. new books and movies and games to experience. people to meet, and hands to hold, and lips to kiss. there is more than your brain is convincing you of, and these good things are far more permanent than the bad. bad days will come and go, but you will always have good, sweet things. 

[filmnoirsbian]

oh u got the metnal illnes?

[paininherchest]

i weighed myself this morning and i was 55,7kg?!!? I was at least ~57,4kg on Sunday and spent all days just sick in bed eating whatever i want...did covid fasten my metabolism that much?

anyways, i can finally see some results on the scale and i’m so close to my goal, i can’t ruin this, i can never get above 57 again, this is my only chance to get to my gw and stay at it

[zvrt]

[agonyxx]

[konoko]

ghosting everyone because i think i’m annoying