http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=923jxZY2NPI#t=214

titsay
Show & Tell
No title available
EXPECTATIONS

Discoholic 🪩
Claire Keane
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
art blog(derogatory)
𓃗
we're not kids anymore.

No title available

if i look back, i am lost
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

No title available

gracie abrams
todays bird

No title available
Jules of Nature
Stranger Things
One Nice Bug Per Day
seen from Vietnam

seen from Türkiye
seen from Senegal
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from United States
seen from United States

seen from Canada
seen from Israel

seen from Colombia

seen from Mauritius
@pajabbles
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=923jxZY2NPI#t=214
"Are you living in the real world?"
Back again
Been here before: the days where sanity is caught in the ebb and flow, where capability and motivation are ever elusive. My being yearns for something it cannot adequately explain, some vital essence. This all too familiar feeling...even comforting in it's own twisted way, leaves me stripped of any reason, save for that accrued by experience.
I only hope that it doesn't last as long this time.
The tired journals
Yup. Just like good 'ol high school. I am very much tired of this promotion of independence when I'm still having my decisions second guessed. It is so very, very pointless. It is endearing that you can behave as responsibly as you like and nevertheless get the treatment. It is pure drudgery to sit through and I really dislike being reduced to a gibbering idiot for the sake of policy. What the honest actual fuck am I doing here?
Misstep
It would be fair to say I'm quite useless at the business of people. I can't seem to get on to that.....wavelength. If I manage it (usually through an effort of sheer will-force) I struggle to stay there. People irritate me, they scare me and seem to function in ways totally mysterious to me. In my head I have endlessly debated the reasons for this social inconsistency and even the acknowledgement that I might be imagining the whole affair.
Today I made myself a new nemesis in the form of the local head-bitch. In a moment of weakness I attempted to humorously point out a few of her shortcomings to some classmates, and as is wont to happen she walks in and hears the lot. Fantastic. Just some careless words tossed around and now I've offended her. I'm churning this shit over in my head for the rest of the half spin..feeling really fucking guilty because in actuality her attitude barely affected me. All the while I'm thinking: "Man, what a waste of time to mull over this stuff." I could throttle myself.
I've got a bad case of domestic-brain. Thoughts smothered by the constant auspices of an overly pedantic conscience.
Vampire weekend always manages to surprise me with new albums. This makes me miss old days with Sandy Superstar. I miss you all.
Lithium Flower, 1
Sand. Sand in their clothes and hair and eyes and in their very souls. It felt as though the course grains might rub right through their skin, the crystals inside their clothes scratching fiercely with every movement. Which was, of course, exacerbated by the fact that they were running as though the reaper himself was at their heels. Which to be fair, he was. The band was in full swing: the battle in its greatest swell was a maelstrom of imminent death. As they ran their pounding boots pumped a steady bass up their spines, regularly punctuated by dull blasts and staccato cracks from the conflagration all around them. The dunes were aglow in the light of the dwarf star which dominated the sky above their heads, and were lit up a harsh white with the brilliant flashes of plasma explosions. Their helmets' reactive optics dimmed their visors to save their eyes, causing their field of view to shrink until there was only the path before their feet. The very ground seemed to be rending apart as their group desperately sprinted for cover. By dint of luck or the machinations of fate they managed to stay alive long enough to see a dark tower thrust its way above the horizon. This was their goal.
Just as it felt like his body might give up on life completely, Clark saw that they were rushing toward a crater the size of a large car. As one unit they leapt into the hole, landing prone. The fall forced the air out of Clark's lungs and sent stars up in front of his eyes. He took a shuddering breath, causing the ubiquitous sand particles to rush into his throat. He was overcome with a futile coughing fit as a new crackle added to the symphony; the voice of Hara Masuyo came to life from the helmet speakers: "In all my years as a gun, there has never been a day on which I did not want for a bath. But this....hell, I'll be picking sand out my hair when I'm cracked and dissolving in an old age home!" Clark could only splutter, he looked across at what his visual overlay told him was Masuyo's dark form in the dust. Somehow she had already jumped up and was covering the lip of the crater with her rifle. He coughed up the last stubborn grains and collected his thoughts for their next rush. The cloud had began to settle as an answering crackle came through: "A very positive outlook, Masuyo. You clearly understand the importance of our work here today. We've sent birds to show you the way. Get your heads down dears!"
As the coordinator's voice subsided Clark could hear a new player had added their voice to the chorus. The shrill whines of the jet engines rose in pitch until they shrieked past, roaring their challenge to the tower ahead. Clark steadied and pushed himself up to glance over the edge of their hole as a new star erupted from horizon, engulfing the Construct tower and blasting a very final concussive blow to the symphony. The displaced air rushed away from the blast and the visor in his helmet dimmed until the world disappeared entirely.Clark took a deep breath in, right to the pit of his stomach. He knew it was but a lull. The refrain of battle would return. They would be at the heart of it. They would end it.
At home
She tumbled lightly down the stairs, buoyed by the end of a long, weary day. She couldn't help but smile at the sunlight streaming through the high windows of the hallway. What a pity she'd had to spend the day inside, she thought. (but where else would I go?). As she walked she passed scores of faces, laughing fervently, talking greedily; but this afternoon she bore them no ill will. She felt near immortal as she crossed the threshold and left, walking into the bright, beautiful daylight.
More faces on the streets, bustling now. She walked briskly along with the crowds, enjoying the lightness of her steps. Her direction was definite; her result would surely have arrived this morning in the post and she was eager to see it, though as she walked she came to a favourite retreat of hers. The thought of a fresh cup of coffee drew her out of the light again (shouldn't I stay outside? its too beautiful!) and into the café. The door was being held open, so she swept inside, eyes cast down as her mind rolled around the day's events.
"Well excuse me! Where are your manners?" She slowed and turned, took in a woman, middle aged, and her wide-eyed infant; her gaze sufficiently impassive to warrant a further outburst: "Didn't your parents teach you manners girl!? You bustle in here like you own the place and nearly knock us over!" Now it felt as though all eyes were poring over her back, demanding the apology her slightly cocked head did not convey. The woman's voice was imperious, but her tone spoke of struggle, the grinding sort of everyday struggle the girl was not familiar with (is it really that bad? who is this woman anyway?). Before a suitable reply had formed in the girl's head the woman shot her a thunderous look and pulled her (vacant) offspring though the door, which banged shut behind them. The impact caused her to flinch, the sound of it hard and bitter.
Sour thoughts flooded her, the knives of the onlooker's eyes spearing her (frail) existence. After taking a breath she approached the counter, timidly, ordering her usual. A smirk sat smugly on the cashier's face, marred by scars and pimples (so ugly, but who am I to judge? don't judge! they judge everyone around them...). She retreated to a seat in the corner, as the encounter churned in her head (stop it, it was so stupid). The room was full of words and laughter (they never stop talking) yet she felt threatened, the urge to flee creeping up her spine. Her coffee was now sour and cold, regardless of its age or the amount of sugar she threw in (I'm pathetic, weak. but she's worse. her damned superiority and her damned creature, devouring the world in their ignorance..) With an final cold swallow she finished her cup and quickly left the shop. Outside the day was still beautiful and the tide of people (ants) still flowing as before.
Her thoughts turned to the test, the evaluation she'd elected to do, they had kept telling her she was 'so gifted' (did they even mean it?). She knew the result was sitting in the doorway, as deposited by the mail man that morning. She walked once more along her well worn path home, uncomfortably aware of the stares of every person who passed her (what do they see, what do they know about me!? I'm supposedly beautiful...why are their eyes so cold?). With a start her walled in mind found that her legs had deposited her at the front door. She could do nothing else but go inside.
Will it make me better, stop this accursed circular nightmare? To them I am only figures on a page. But..I am only figures on a page...only another scrambling creature shrieking for life. Anything would please them....but especially my failure. Their mirth-lined faces would glow in the wake of it. I'll prove them wrong...no. They can't be proven wrong. They will cackle and cry until they are wiped from here. I'll just look.
So she looked.
Basic Codes
BOLD: <b>text</b>
ITALIC: <i>text</i>
Click read more to see the rest!
Read More
Bailing water from a leaky boat
I have this vision that's kept me afloat through the last few weeks. Basically it's of efficiency. Struggling at school? No problem. Let's make a plan. We'll plug the holes soon enough. In everything. I want to be better, quicker, more streamlined and effective. I'm not striving for perfection, but then again I'm striving toward it. I have the means to drastically change my life, and the lives of many other people in the process. I have sat, hamstrung, for far too long. But now I feel so much stronger already. I'm fast becoming the man whom I want to be.
I suggest you use your mind to think about things rather than just thinking of them. You'll want to be adding value as you think about projects and people, not simply reminding yourself they exist.
David Allen
Just awesome. Bobbie Mcferrin playing pentatonic scale on the audience.
The Passenger
I feel stretched thin today. I think this was the first time I've been really alone since I left South Africa. I've been here in England for what feels like a few days but it's already been over two weeks since I landed. I walk around, go to school, talk to people and still feel rather transient, like it's all just a dream. Maybe I need to slow down. I haven't let myself have a day off for a while..that's the downside of all this changing philosophy: I squelch even the necessary relaxation, for fear I'm slipping back into my old modes. So much to do though...the changes keep rolling in.
I would quite like the world to slow down, in the most chrono-logical sense, I want each moment to stick around a little longer. Then I can get my bearings.
The time is now!
Now is the only moment I can actually change, it's time the mistakes actually hurt and the lessons stuck. It's time that I stopped heeding fear and tried for those things I avoided. Let it be hard. Let it be painful and slow and hard and turn all those around to laugh at my efforts. I vow to forge ahead anyway. I owe this to myself, to those who know me, perhaps there are too few of them. As long as I'm greedily sucking air and have energy left to move it is the time.
This may be but a pithy little rant on a website but you better mark me now, I may not end up anywhere, but I'm going to damn well enjoy it all.
Social anxiety
I've never been an outgoing person, that's for sure. I'm the kind of guy who agonises over which restaurant to go into because I'm scared to talk to the people who are paid to speak to me. I obsess over failed social interactions and it feels like a lot of them are just that. But today as I stood alone in the park I thought that maybe in fact I was only worried about my social ineptitude because I thought that I had been insidiously brainwashed...a bit silly yeah. Conspiracy theories aside I think my issues are rather mild, but gee, the amount of time I spend worrying about this is stupid.
Fuck social anxiety. Fuck human beings. Fuck cognitive dissonance.
1. All beliefs in whatever realm are theories at some level. (Stephen Schneider) 2. Do not condemn the judgment of another because it differs from your own. You may both be wrong. (Dandemis) 3. Read not to contradict and confute; nor to believe and take for granted; nor to find talk and discourse; but to weigh and consider. (Francis Bacon) 4. Never fall in love with your hypothesis. (Peter Medawar) 5. It is a capital mistake to theorize before one has data. Insensibly one begins to twist facts to suit theories instead of theories to suit facts. (Arthur Conan Doyle) 6. A theory should not attempt to explain all the facts, because some of the facts are wrong. (Francis Crick) 7. The thing that doesn’t fit is the thing that is most interesting. (Richard Feynman) 8. To kill an error is as good a service as, and sometimes even better than, the establishing of a new truth or fact. (Charles Darwin) 9. It ain’t what you don’t know that gets you into trouble. It’s what you know for sure that just ain’t so. (Mark Twain) 10. Ignorance is preferable to error; and he is less remote from the truth who believes nothing, than he who believes what is wrong. (Thomas Jefferson) 11. All truth passes through three stages. First, it is ridiculed, second, it is violently opposed, and third, it is accepted as self-evident. (Arthur Schopenhauer)
Prospero’s Precepts – 11 rules for critical thinking from history’s great minds.
(via explore-blog)
“TODAY,” Elodin said brightly, “we will talk about things that cannot be talked about. Specifically, we will discuss why some things cannot be discussed.” I sighed and set down my pencil. Every day I hoped this class would be the one where Elodin actually taught us something. Every day I brought a hardback and one of my few precious pieces of paper, ready to take advantage of the moment of clarity. Every day some part of me expected Elodin to laugh and admit he’d just been testing our resolve with his endless nonsense. And every day I was disappointed. “The majority of important things cannot be said outright,” Elodin said. “They cannot be made explicit. They can only be implied.” He looked out at his handful of students in the otherwise empty lecture hall. “Name something that cannot be explained.” He pointed at Uresh. “Go.” Uresh considered for a moment. “Humor. If you explain a joke, it isn’t a joke.” Elodin nodded, then pointed at Fenton. “Naming?” Fenton asked.“That is a cheap answer, Re’lar,” Elodin said with a hint of reproach. “But you correctly anticipate the theme of my lecture, so we will let it slide.” He pointed at me. “There isn’t anything that can’t be explained,” I said firmly. “If something can be understood, it can be explained. A person might not be able to do a good job of explaining it. But that just means it’s hard, not that it’s impossible.” Elodin held up a finger. “Not hard or impossible. Merely pointless. Some things can only be inferred.” He gave me an infuriating smile. “By the way, your answer should have been ‘music.’” “Music explains itself,” I said. “It is the road, and it is the map that shows the road. It is both together.” “But can you explain how music works?” Elodin asked. “Of course,” I said. Though I wasn’t sure of any such thing. “Can you explain how music works without using music?” That brought me up short. While I was trying to think of a response, Elodin turned to Fela. “Love?” she asked. Elodin raised an eyebrow as if mildly scandalized by this, then nodded approvingly. “Hold on a moment,” I said. “We’re not done. I don’t know if I could explain music without using it, but that’s beside the point. That’s not explanation, it’s translation.” Elodin’s face lit up. “That’s it exactly!” he said. “Translation. All explicit knowledge is translated knowledge, and all translation is imperfect.” “So all explicit knowledge is imperfect?” I asked. “Tell Master Brandeur geometry is subjective. I’d love to watch that discussion.” “Not all knowledge,” Elodin admitted. “But most.” “Prove it,” I said. “You can’t prove nonexistence,” Uresh interjected in a matter-of-fact way. He sounded exasperated. “Flawed logic.” I ground my teeth at that. It was flawed logic. I never would have made that mistake if I’d been better rested. “Demonstrate it then,” I said. “Fine, fine.” Elodin walked over to where Fela sat. “We’ll use Fela’s example.” He took her hand and pulled her to her feet, motioning me to follow. I came reluctantly to my feet as well and Elodin arranged the two of us so we stood facing each other in profile to the class. “Here we have two lovely young people,” he said. “Their eyes meet across the room.” Elodin pushed my shoulder and I stumbled forward half a step. “He says hello. She says hello. She smiles. He shifts uneasily from foot to foot.” I stopped doing just that and there was a faint murmur of laughter from the others. “There is something ephemeral in the air,” Elodin said, moving to stand behind Fela. He put his hands on her shoulders, leaning close to her ear. “She loves the lines of him,” he said softly. “She is curious about the shape of his mouth. She wonders if this could be the one, if she could unclasp the secret pieces of her heart to him.” Fela looked down, her cheeks flushing a bright scarlet. Elodin stalked around to stand behind me. “Kvothe looks at her, and for the first time he understands the impulse that first drove men to paint. To sculpt. To sing.” He circled us again, eventually standing between us like a priest about to perform a wedding. “There exists between them something tenuous and delicate. They can both feel it. Like static in the air. Faint as frost.” He looked me full in the face. His dark eyes serious. “Now. What do you do?” I looked back at him, utterly lost. If there was one thing I knew less about than naming, it was courting women. “There are three paths here,” Elodin said to the class. He held up one finger. “First. Our young lovers can try to express what they feel. They can try to play the half-heard song their hearts are singing.” Elodin paused for effect. “This is the path of the honest fool, and it will go badly. This thing between you is too tremulous for talk. It is a spark so faint that even the most careful breath might snuff it out.” Master Namer shook his head. “Even if you are clever and have a way with words, you are doomed in this. Because while your mouths might speak the same language, your hearts do not.” He looked at me intently. “This is an issue of translation.” Elodin held up two fingers. “The second path is more careful. You talk of small things. The weather. A familiar play. You spend time in company. You hold hands. In doing so you slowly learn the secret meanings of each other’s words. This way, when the time comes you can speak with subtle meaning underneath your words, so there is understanding on both sides.” Elodin made a sweeping gesture toward me. “Then there is the third path. The path of Kvothe.” He strode to stand shoulder to shoulder with me, facing Fela. “You sense something between you. Something wonderful and delicate.” He gave a romantic, lovelorn sigh. “And, because you desire certainty in all things, you decide to force the issue. You take the shortest route. Simplest is best, you think.” Elodin extended his own hands and made wild grasping motions in Fela’s direction. “So you reach out and you grab this young woman’s breasts.” There was a burst of startled laughter from everyone except Fela and myself. I scowled. She crossed her arms in front of her chest and her flush spread down her neck until it was hidden by her shirt. Elodin turned his back to her and looked me in the eye. “Re’lar Kvothe,” he said seriously. “I am trying to wake your sleeping mind to the subtle language the world is whispering. I am trying to seduce you into understanding. I am trying to teach you.” He leaned forward until his face was almost touching mine. “Quit grabbing at my tits.”
The Wise Man's Fear, Patrick Rothfuss