I'm struggling to find the right way to begin this blog. For the past four days, I haven't felt like myself, caught in a haze of lifeās weight. Woke up one day without the motivation to leave my bed, let alone face another day at work and the same heaviness lingered in the days that followed. I'm torn, unsure if this is all because I've been pressuring myself at work, which led to anxiety, or if it's something triggered by hormones or maybe I'm simply going through a phase where I'm questioning my purpose in life.
I'm 34, still single, no legit boyfriend, no kids, pretty much the same version of myself from five or ten years ago. Yea I know, it probably sounds like Iām being too hard on myself. Sure, my status hasnāt changed much, but Iāve grown, achieved a lot, and learned so much over the years. Iām still constantly working on becoming better and improving the way I live. Just simply hate that I woke up feeling stuck all over again. This isnāt actually new. It tends to resurface once or twice a month. Some days I can handle, but other times it gets overwhelming, leading me to take several days off work in a row, which often leaves my mom feeling disappointed. Tbh, I feel the same way about myself, even more....
After days of hibernation, hardest part is to pick myself back up and start all over again. Still, Iām grateful that I havenāt lost the drive. I have a plan, and thatās something. But damn I need to bounce back big time and If I ever find myself in the same situation again, I hope Iāll have the strength and clarity to navigate it wisely.
Life keeps moving, Tumblrās still here, I guess Iāve got to keep going too.
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