blue sunset on Mars is a real phenomenon caused by the way Martian dust scatters sunlight.
Unlike Earth, where sunsets are red and orange due to the scattering of shorter blue wavelengths by our atmosphere, Mars has an extremely fine dust that scatters blue light more efficiently near the Sun.
So during sunset on Mars, the sky turns reddish-brown while the area around the Sun glows a soft blue. It’s the opposite of what we experience on Earth.
No I’m not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know I’m your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when you’ve got me tied up like this.
No look I get it. You’ve got your evil plan, you’ve gotta get me out of the way but you also want to see me suffer as I watch the world burn, I know. But like, I’m not into this. Sexually or otherwise. Wait, you thought I was doing this because I liked you? I’m trying to stop you from using a death laser. No I don’t think death lasers are sexy what on earth are you talking about
Wait. That’s why you dress like that? I thought that armor was impractical. No I don’t find our relationship to be homoerotic I find it to be tedious. Look, man. We all keep trying to get you into therapy. No I’m not kink shaming you I’m saying you’ve completely misinterpreted this relationship. I actually do think you should answer for your war crimes. Yes, really. No you’re the one not listening to me in this situation. Yes that is the alarm the others will have cut all your wires and called in the fbi by now.
What do you mean you thought we had something special? I have other enemies. You’re not the only one. No I’m not doing kinky things with them either I blow up their nefarious devices. Speaking of which, you might want to move like… ten feet to your right.
The henchmen in the tags who have been assuring the villain since the beginning that “of course he likes you back, why else would he keep coming to destroy your death lasers”
You know I didn’t intend for this character I made up to be aromantic but this whole post has turned into being arospec at a family reunion simulator
By popular vote (maybe like 4 people) y'all shall receive the figaro soup fic born from me going crazy at midnight.
wordcount: 1257 words
characters: figaro, mitile, and at the very end a little mithra appearance
Figaro had been feeling a bit down lately. His back hurts. If only he could go to a sauna or something like that.
He goes through the motions of his daily life and stumbles upon Mitile, brewing something in a big pot as he usually does. Figaro feels jealous of the weeds Mitile is boiling. Figaro feels jealous of things no normal person really feels jealous of. If only he could take a nice warm bath in boiling hot toxic juice.
Mitile doesn't notice his teacher because he is focused on his work. How hardworking, his teacher thinks. He is proud.
Good morning, Figaro says. Mitile turns his head around to quickly return the greeting politely. Then he turns his gaze back to the bubbling smoking fluids. While still focused on his potion making, he asks Figaro, is something up?
No, everything's fine, Figaro lies. Mitile notices. Figaro notices that Mitile noticed and he hates it. You can't lie to children, Figaro thinks to himself. Yet at the same time Figaro feels like it's nice to be noticed and worried about.
Mitile is not a big scary monster from the depths of the northern wilderniss. Mitile is not the people at the Walpurgis festival. Mitile is not his scary twin masters. Mitile is Mitile, a harmless little bug compared to someone like Figaro. So maybe around him Figaro can be a little sillier than usual.
Figaro sighs pretty audibly.
"You know. Maybe I need some kinda break. Some relaxing activity."
Mitile turns his head around and frowns. No alcohol, Mitile warns.
Figaro breaks into a smile. "Nooo no. I don't feel like that actually."
Lucky for Figaro, he is a wizard. He can just miniaturize himself.
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Figaro asked Mitile to make him into soup. Mitile is kinda conflicted about this. He never cooked anyone into soup. But he does think it sounds like fun.
He borrowed ingredients from Nero's kitchen. He did not explain to Nero what he would be doing with those ingredients. Nero was never the type to ask and dig in anyways.
Mitile chooses the pots he knows he used for non-toxic potions. Figaro appreciates this although he would survive most of the poisons Mitile handles, trace amounts would mean nothing to him.
Mitile lays out the produce he got and asks which ones he would like to be cooked with. Figaro is fine with anything besides the onions. Mitile decides to add many aromatics to the pot to make this the best pot sauna experience he could provide.
Butter? Mitile asks.
Sure. Figaro replies.
The butter, or any kind of fat really, is essential for good soup. Soups with only water can only have water-soluble flavors, but adding butter also unlocks the fat soluble flavors as well. Not that Mitile is actually planning to eat any of this.
Mitile adds water, aromatics and butter to the pot that Mini-Figaro is sitting in and turns the fire on. He doesn't turn it high, but keeps it low, aiming to get the temperature to make the water slowly simmer. He doesn't want to actually boil his teacher.
He gets to cutting the vegetables. He diced the potatoes and got the peas out of the pod and cit the carrots. Looking over to Figaro, he seems very relaxed in the soup bath. The fresh rosemary and bay leaves add to the relaxing atmosphere. He'd hate to disturb him now. He takes his time cutting the carrots further into little decorative flowers.
Mitile might have gotten a little too carried away cutting the carrots. He ended up with quite the sizable batch of pretty carrot flowers. And he forgot about Figaro. Once there were no more carrots to cut he remembered to check up on his teacher. He turned to see Figaro sleeping, his arms resting on the rim of the pot. For a moment, Mitile panicked. What if he really did cook his teacher? Of course this makes no sense, Figaro would have turned to stone if that were the case. But that doesn't matter. Mitile exclaims loudly.
Figaro-sensei!
Tiny Figaro squeaks awake. Mitile apologizes for waking him up and asks if he is ok. Figaro nods. Mitile reminds him he is done with the carrots. Figaro thinks it would be a waste to have those go into the pot. Mitile should give those to Nero instead and have him figure out a proper use for them. Mitile agrees.
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Eventually Figaro needs to get out of the pot and get cleaned. Mitile scoops him out with a ladle and takes him directly to the sink. Figaro takes off his soggy coat and asks Mitile to wash it well for him. Mitile turns on the tap and takes a little bit of dishsoap to wash the coat, now the size of a quarter of a tissue, really well while Figaro washes his hair under the running tap water. A few minutes later Figaro is clean but still soaking wet. Mitile puts him on a towel but he doesn't think it's enough. He needs a hairdryer but that it's in his room, not the lab.
With tiny Figaro wrapped up in a towel in his arm, he makes his way to his room. He unwraps Figaro on the table and begins drying him with the hairdryer. He thinks it's funny Figaro almost got knocked down by the wind from the hairdryer but he tries hard to suppress his laugh.
A few minutes later and Figaro is now dry too. Tiny Figaro stretches a little and yawns.
Are you gonna go back to normal? Mitile asks.
Do I really have to? Figaro asks back.
Mitile doesn't say anything. He just stares at Figaro until it's really awkward. Figaro transforms back to his normal size and thanks Mitile before heading to his own room to go sleep.
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Upon going back to the lab, Mitile finds a very foolish Mithra who thinks he will drink soup. Mitile tries to stop Mithra but to no avail. Why can't I drink this soup, Mithra asks very sadly. Mitile says it isn't soup and it shouldn't be eaten. Mithra doesn't believe him. It looks like soup, and smells like soup, says Mithra. Mitile really can't argue back on that. Mithra takes the pot by the handles on both sides and tilts it to drink from directly. Mitile cringes, thinking this is really unhygenic.
To Mitile's utter surpise, Mithra chokes. Mithra of the North with an iron stomach that handles everything choked after a gulp or two and went straight to the sink to wash his mouth. Mitile asks what could possibly be so wrong with it that even Mithra of all people reacts like this.
It's salty, Mithra states very simply. Disgustingly salty, he says.
...
Salty?!
Mitile is bewildered. He did not add any salt at all.
Are you making soup with ocean water? Mithra asks.Mitile doesn't even try to defend himself anymore and agrees on what Mithra says to make Mithra go away. Mithra calls him weird and leaves.
Mithra left the lab and Mitile is still frozen in place thinking about where salt could have come from. He is almost tempted to try the soup himself, gross as that is. But he holds himself back. Deep down though, he has always been a curious kid. But it's really too gross to try out himself. He leaves it an open mystery, thinking to himself that no way did Figaro make the soup taste like ocean water. Even though it's probably his fault.
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Happy late birthday to Figaro! Every day I am haunted by the fact that in canon his magic tastes like salt. Why. How.
Shout out to the doctor who responded with complete sincerity when I (on anesthesia) uttered the phrase “chat are we cooked” in her medical professional vicinity. You’re such a real one for that fr fr
dudes online used to spend 72 hours on photoshop uninterrupted editing people’s faces to look scary and we called the finished product some shit like jeff the killer and put him in spirit halloween and on wikipedia These days you open tumblr and top of dash is a 42 note edit of jerma’s face so fucked up looking that it could’ve been used to texture a corpse in a y2k valve game and you get a little nauseous and otherwise just keep scrolling. and this is known as “a tuesday
janainaart
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