ellievsbear
Janaina Medeiros
oozey mess
Kiana Khansmith
we're not kids anymore.
Game of Thrones Daily
todays bird
noise dept.
Love Begins
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
★
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
#extradirty
❣ Chile in a Photography ❣
sheepfilms
NASA
will byers stan first human second
almost home
No title available
JBB: An Artblog!
seen from Jamaica
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from Poland
seen from Netherlands
seen from United States
seen from Mexico
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from Singapore
seen from Singapore
seen from United States
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United Kingdom
seen from United States
seen from United States
seen from India
seen from France
@pandaexpress303
just thinking about the fact that kaz builds this reputation to try and make himself seem inhuman, someone with no feelings/weaknesses, etc. and no one really views him as human. they have trouble picturing him as a child, Matthias thinks he’s a demon, but then Inej refers to him as “the BOY who saved her” she just sees him as a boy, a human.
wild geraniums🌸 the last one of the pieces I made for Illumicrate’s special edition of the Six of Crows duology!!
She'd laughed, and if he could have bottled the sound and gotten drunk on it every night, he would have. It terrified him.
The first of 4 endpapers I got to illustrate for Illumicrate’s special edition of Six of Crows!! So happy I finally got to draw this scene!!
Okay but like....why does Jesper have to be crying tho? Like the point seems to be showing moments of joy the crows had with their parents...so why is he in tears?
Because it's not about happiness as in joy but as in feeling safe in their vulnerable moments. Hope this helps 😔🙏
soft launching my own little pre-canon kanej fic that i have been working on…little snippet under the cut. (bring back kanej stealing each other’s secrets fics!!! these are some of my favorites)
Bastard. Canal rat. Demon. Monster. Words whispered through the dirty cobblestoned streets and the creaky floorboards of the Slat, tossed around like coins on a poker table. To describe Kaz Brekker as anything other than inhuman was unheard of. She remembered hearing the girls of the Menagerie, smiling and giggling as they imagined what it might be to take him to one of their beds.
As he had led her down the dark alleyway that first night, away from the gilded building that had caged her for nearly a year, she couldn’t help but glance at his leather-clad hands, presumably concealing horrendous scars, deep red stains, claws. She had noted the way patrons cleared the way for them in the streets, as soon as they heard the click of his cane, as if his proximity could burn. Inej had kept her distance as well, staying several paces behind him as he led her towards the crooked structure that would become her new home.
In her several months of working alongside him, all she’d really come to deduce about the boy was that he had quite a dramatic flair, a talent like no other had for lock-picking and scheming, and a strong preference for the color black. Maybe when you’re a rich man, I’ll steal your secrets too, she’d told him, back when she’d figured his persona was merely posturing and that becoming a Dreg would surely mean she’d be privy to who he was beneath it.
He had saved her though. Inej was not so naive to believe he had done it for any purpose other than his own. He’d made it quite clear that she needed to pull her weight or this would fall on him. And yet, she couldn’t forget the sound of her name on his lips, or the way his gaze hadn’t once dipped below her chin, even as she’d donned those transparent silks. It had made her want to cry, seeing a man hold her gaze and speak her true name.
Call it foolish optimism, naivety, or hope, but she wanted to prove that he might not be all that he showed to the world. And he’d trained a spider. That spider was going to hunt.
It's kind of funny that the "I will have you without armor or I will not have you at all" line is as much about Inej as it is about Kaz in the end
Because there Kaz is, actually being emotionally honest for the first time in their whole friendship and flat-out saying he wants her (that he wants her to stay with him), but Inej doesn't trust his words. She loves him, but her own happiness and healing comes first and she doesn't think he's ready to give her what she needs out of a relationship.
And to her credit, she's right. He's not ready (which I've discussed a little bit before here); but neither is she in that moment. Kaz may be avoiding a solid 95% of Inej's attempts to get him to be truthful about his thoughts and feelings with her during Six of Crows, but she doesn't believe him even when he is truthful. So she throws her own armor up in that scene, and it doesn't truly come down until Crooked Kingdom's epilogue chapters.
We all talk a lot about Kaz's actions during CK and how he does everything in his power to ensure Inej has the ability and freedom to walk out of his life forever if she wants. But even after he saves her from Van Eck, even after the "if I couldn't walk, I would crawl to you" conversation, even after the net, even after the the Bathroom Scene and her paid-off indenture and keeping her at his side when he confronts Pekka, Inej still doubts him to the point where she goes to the harbor prepared to do just that:
Kaz had changed. The net. Paying her contract. She could still feel the faint touch of his lips on her skin, his bare hands fumbling with the knots of her bandages. Inej had seen the scant glimmer of what he might become if he let himself. She couldn’t bear to see him dressed in armor once more, buttoned back into his immaculate suits and cold demeanor. She wouldn’t listen to him talk as if the Ice Court and everything that came after had been just another job, another score, another bit of advantage to be gained. But she wouldn’t ignore his note. It was time to put an end to this thing that had never had a chance to begin. She’d tell him what she’d heard about Pekka, offer to share some of her routes and hiding spots with Roeder. It would be over. She turned down the light, and after a long while, she fell asleep with the note clutched in her hand. -Ch. 44, Crooked Kingdom
She clings to his final letter like a love-struck teenager but puts on a brave face and walks to the harbor the next morning ready to "put an end to this thing that had never had a chance to begin."
But Kaz surprises her by coming to the harbor with bared hands and the Wraith as an offering, and Inej realizes that her own fear and trauma and trust issues have been holding her back from seeing that his progress is real and permanent. He's now the one reaching out, and she's the one backing away in fear of what pursuing a relationship with him would mean. She states during this scene that she "would fight for him, but she could not heal him. She would not waste her life trying" without acknowledging that she's actively pulling away from the possibility of fighting in that moment. Her armor is what's getting in the way now, not his.
And it's fascinating, because her words come from an incredibly valid and understandable place! She's not responsible for Kaz's trauma or for making sure he heals; she's got enough of her own healing to do without taking on the responsibility of dealing with his as well. And like Kaz notes during the "I would come for you" scene, she's right to be wary of opening herself up to him given his previous behavior. She's technically setting an incredibly healthy relationship boundary here, and that should be acknowledged! It's something she should believe!
However, it's important to realize that healthy boundaries can become unhealthy boundaries when you're leaning on them as a coping mechanism instead of using them as an actual boundary...which is what Inej is doing here. She says she's willing to fight for him and their relationship, but in reality she's falling back on behaviors that (like Kaz's) helped her survive Ketterdam but don't necessarily help her create healthy relationships with other people:
When Kaz had brought her to the Slat, he’d warned her that he wouldn’t be able to watch out for her, that she’d have to fend for herself, and she had. It would have been easy enough to turn away when they called her names or sidled up to ask for a cuddle, but do that and soon it was a hand up your blouse or a try at you against a wall. So she’d let no insult or innuendo slide. She’d always struck first and struck hard. Sometimes she even cut them up a bit. It was fatiguing, but nothing was sacred to the Kerch except trade, so she’d gone out of her way to make the risk much higher than the reward when it came to disrespecting her. -Ch. 4, Six of Crows
She went to the harbor ready to strike first and hard only to have the rug pulled out from under her, because Kaz revealing the Wraith helps Inej realize that she's not actually setting a healthy boundary here: she's just closing herself off from him. So she takes a leap of faith, cracks her armor open, and offers him the same vulnerability in return: she tells him she'll come back, invites him to work with her to take down the slave trade, and offers him her hand. And he takes it.
It takes until that moment for Kaz and Inej to truly understand how determined the other is to fight for the possibility of a future together. Inej still doubted that Kaz cared for her enough to be vulnerable around her and trust her with himself; Kaz still doubted Inej cared for him enough to ever come back once she had the opportunity to leave. But then she offers a partnership and her hand. And he accepts both, and Inej acknowledges it as the promise it is.
And when she first sees her parents? That's when Inej's walls finally come completely crumbling down:
Had she really thought the world didn’t change? She was a fool. The world was made of miracles, unexpected earthquakes, storms that came from nowhere and might reshape a continent. The boy beside her. The future before her. Anything was possible. -Ch. 44, Crooked Kingdom
They both need time and space to work on healing themselves, and it's probably going to take awhile. But they've already taken the first steps to dismantle the armor that's kept them both safe and untouchable in the Barrel, and they're also both actively broadcasting that they're willing to put effort into a potential relationship...and that open and visible reciprocity makes all the difference. They've been getting their communication wires crossed since the Ferolind, and it's only at the harbor that they're both able to see and accept what the other is offering: a path forward, together, with knives drawn and pistols blazing.
There’s something a little heartbreaking about the fact that Kaz can’t even bring himself to beg Jordie to stay while he’s dying (i.e. “‘Don’t leave me’ Kaz wanted to say, but he was too tired.” ch. 22 SOC) but when Inej is dying in his arms he tells her, BEGS her, not to slip away from him. Kaz is oddly superstitious when it comes to Jordie and I almost wonder if there is a part of him that believes that because he didn’t say anything, Jordie died.
a great tragedy of my life is i have soooo many questions i want to ask taylor swift about her artistic process, and despite there being a WHOLE FIELD OF PEOPLE who's job it is to Ask Taylor Swift About Her Artistic Process, they spent a decade asking her if boys ever don't talk to her because she might write a song about them
every article from 2005-2010: TAYLOR MADE; A SWIFT ASCENT: this teenager was bullied but now she writes songs! also did you know curly haired people exist?
every article from 2010-2013: LIFE AFTER THE FAIRYTALE: before this interview started i thought taylor swift was a prissy slut, but after insulting her for 2 hours while she was nothing but kind to me, i think she might be human. juries still out though
every article from 2014-2016: TAYLOR SWIFT IS HAPPIER THAN EVER: taylor swift gave me a tour of her apartment while talking about how she worries about everything all the time
every article from 2019-2020: TAYLOR BREAKS HER SILENCE: whatdoyouthinkaboutkanyewestwhatdoyouthinkaboutkanyewestwhatdoyouthinkaboutkanyewestwhatdoyouthinkaboutkanyewestwhatdoyouthinkaboutkanyewestwhatdoyouthinkaboutkanyewest
topics that never came up: how did you choose the tracklist for this album? when did you first notice [x] theme in your writing popping up a lot? what lessons did you learn about your craft while writing this album? these songs reference each other, was that intentional and which came first?
kaz being unable to fathom fathers disliking their children is so funny to me. this man has literally ended people’s lives, but his father was good, jesper’s father is good, inej’s father is good, and even pekka rollins is a good father, so surely wylan was being dramatic? kaz was so sure fathers had to love their kids that he bet on it (and lost! because jan van eck truly did despise wylan, and kaz was blown away)
"You're Better Than Waffles"
Living vicariously through Wylan, who I imagined cuts up his waffles into individual squares like I used to do as a child.
Officially licensed prints available in bio link!
Kaz almost drowned and had the whole The ache in his lungs was unbearable scene and yeah, repressed feelings come right to the surface when you’re about to die. But he doesn’t die and now I’m just sitting here like. What do you think Kaz was thinking about when he saw Inej on the tank as it rolls up, hollering her heart out. How was he supposed to be normal confronting his hopeless giant crush on this girl after he realized by almost DYING that she’s the only thing more important than vengeance
people misinterpreting SOC and claiming that Inej was too hard on Kaz and asks too much of him is my villain origin story tbh
Kaz has an awful backstory and loads of baggage, it's true, but it doesn't change or excuse the fact that he is NOT a good person, and is inclined to be pretty dreadful if the fancy strikes him. (Which it does. Often.) He's also reticent as hell. Inej has the right to expect, and demand, more from him!! He's awful, and she thinks he can be better, but rather than trying to 'fix him' or whatever, ('She would fight for him, but she could not heal him. She would not waste her life trying') she demands he raise himself to her level, since she's not settling for worse, and HE DOES IT!!!! He rises pretty magnificently to the occasion, actually! The fact that he makes a genuine effort to be a better (+ more open) man for her is a massive part of the appeal. I think people go too far both ways w Kaz; they either coddle him too much or they make him too brutal, and in this case people coddle him, and forget that the Kaz we see is NOT the one everyone else sees.
Like I think people forget that Inej still doesn't know his backstory like we do. No one does. She doesn't know why he can't touch her, which is,,, insane to think abt, but it's true. He won't tell her, so how is she supposed to have the (more sympathetic) view of him we have? Plus, we spend two books inside Kaz's Inej-worshipping brain, but he NEVER says any of it. Ever. Sure, there's the scene on the boat and the I would have come for you scene and the bathroom scene, but they're iconic bc he externalises it for once in his bloody life. Most of his absolute reverence is internal shdjhjs. Maybe if she knew what we knew she would be less hard on him! But she doesn't, she only knows what Kaz is willing to show her. And I don't think Kaz minds that she's hard on him, tbh. Bc he knows how he presents himself and how he acts and what he doesn't say. So he makes the effort and he doesn't argue.
It’s just. The entire thesis of the soc duology is summed up in this paragraph:
The Point is that these kids are nothing special. Sure, they’re smart and they’re skilled, but they’ve been afforded no lucky breaks in life, they don’t have connections, they’re not rich or titled, they’re not Chosen.
This is explicitly the reason Van Eck picks them. They Will Not Be Missed. Every single one of them could disappear into the machine and no one would notice. Like, I think we forget that kaz is not hired because he’s “the only one for the job” like Van Eck says, he’s hired because no one will care when he’s dead.
And the reason the book works so well, the reason it hits harder than any chosen one plot could, is because the crows spend the next two books going: you were wrong, we have something special, we’re worth more than what this world has given us, we matter, even if it’s only to each other.
So for the show to insert them into this Saving the World plot, it lessens that. In the world of the show, Van Eck couldn’t screw them over because they might still be criminals, but they are important. The darkling and the sun summoner and the king of ravka know their names. And that’s not a person you pick for a job you plan to end with an execution.
…and for a moment Kaz was a boy again, sure that there was magic in this world.
The famous Crows Don’t Have Any Manners scene, a commission for @brambleberrycottage! Had to freshen it up a bit cuz my Kaz default changed a Lot in a year
Alive, alive, alive.
I’m sick and tired of my full comic of this scene so here have a sketch of one of the pages~~
Also, it is now uploaded to my print shop!
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS???
I feel like this scene is so much more important than it seems on its surface. The most obvious points are Inej clearly taking his words to heart despite having no immediate response in the actual “I would come for you,” scene, and the fact that they came running. The fact that he immediately ran to her the second he could, the fact she didn’t have to question him why, for once in her life
But what really gets me is the fact that the story is being told from an outside perspective. Specifically Nina. Who takes them both and sees herself and Matthias, and the waters they had to tread to get to safety. She knows how hard it is for them metaphorically to swim in that water and she sees them reaching the shore in that moment. (Another water connection for the crows!)
Nina and Matthias took a LONG time to get on the same page even after they called a truce at the fishing hut, which is paralleled in the long journey it took Kaz to be able to allow himself to actually express how he felt about Inej and in how Inej had to learn how to trust Kaz in a physical and emotional sense as well.
I just think it’s really interesting that Nina sees that in them, even without knowing anything beyond what she could gather being apart of the crows and it’s a really adorable foreshadow to where they end up in the end. They found their own kind of shelter from their own kind of storm.
let’s just hope they don’t parallel helnik too much
I’m sorry if this didn’t make any sense I just- UGH I love them and this scene literally made me pause in my reread because I’d never noticed it before <3
i’m gonna pull a paul revere and announce to the crowds that leigh bardugo has officially CONFIRMED that there will be letters between kaz and inej in the new short story she’s releasing!! just watched her interview with kris and maddie that was released today. anyway, this is my superbowl.
