Mummy Blog

another day, another tantrum

[pandapopspo]

In Memoriam

An angel called upon you before your time.

Your tiny footsteps never managed to touch the ground.

You got to see the stars, just the once.

Your wings beat down upon us, even now.

Our hearts yearn for you.

Our love will always be there for you.

Our thoughts will be with you,

I miss you, my sweet Lily.

I only knew you for a short time.

6 weeks of bliss and happiness.

Losing you was the worst thing to happen to me.

To us.

To your loved ones.

I can't imagine what comes next.

You were so small.

A tiny sleeping angel.

I still cry when I think of your tiny form.

Your unopened eyes.

Your unmoving being.

I miss you.

I love you.

I cry for you.

I search for you in the raindrops on my window.

I search for you in the soft noises in the darkness.

I search for you in the warmth of the sunlit hours.

A child lost is unbearable.

Your brother still asks for you.

Your sister doesn't understand.

Your father cries when he thinks I'm not looking.

Your grandparents look at us in pity for losing you.

Your mother, me...

I simply cry for you.

I smile for you.

I miss you.

My sleeping angel.

On May 19th 2022, I gave birth to my sleeping angel. Due to a miscarriage at 13 weeks my third child would never get to play with her siblings. It's all I think about. How small she was. How I will never get to hold her hand. How we will never get to play together with her siblings. I'm broken. I miss her. I love her. It doesn't matter how short a time we had together. It doesn't matter that her heart had stopped before she was born. I miss my tiny angel. I want to be able to hold her and to stop the tears... but I can't. Nobody can. I'm sorry for writing this. I truly am. However, I want people to understand what I have gone through. I want people to realise that miscarriage is harder than you could possibly imagine. All I can think about right now is how much pain our family is going through. How much my heart aches for the baby I will never get to hold.

I know this is a sad post. I know this isn't the happy stuff that is usually posted here. I know it has been a long time since it happened but to me? The loss is still fresh.

I still miss my baby eventhough I never got to hold her.

I still think of the future she will never get to have.

I still think of... what might have been.

To Lily,

I still love you and think about the family we could have been. I miss you every day. Its been hard, knowing you're gone.

Goodbye by sweet angel 🤍

[quotefeeling]

“To walk in the nature is to witness a thousand miracles.”

— Mary Davis

[pandapopspo]

Kids grow so fast. One minute they are teeny tiny and the next they are taking big steps towards their future. Mine are still little but it's amazing to see them grow a little each and everyday 💜💜

[quotefeeling]

“You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.”

— Tony Gaskins

[surqrised]

“Life is a funny thing. We only get so many years to live it, so we have to do everything we can to make sure those years are as full as they can be. We shouldn’t waste time on things that might happen someday, or maybe even never.”

— Colleen Hoover, It Ends with Us

[resqectable]

“Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell…”

— Karen Marie Moning, Shadowfever

[quotefeeling]

“Whatever is worrying you right now, forget about it. Take a deep breath, stay positive and know that things will get better.”

— Unknown

[perfectquote]

“If you hesitate between me and another person don’t choose me.”

— Unknown

[thoughtkick]

“We don’t grow older, we grow riper.”

— Pablo Picasso

[quotefeeling]

“Healing is a choice. It is not an easy one because it takes work to turn around your habits. But keep making the choice and shifts will happen.”

— Yehuda Berg

[resqectable]

“You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.”

— Unknown

[emotionalwords]

[leonardospoetry]

Wishing you the courage to live your mysteries with an open heart ❤

[tulipsofthemorning]

[the-inspiring-quotes]

[lone-nyctophile]

- Beau Taplin

[lone-nyctophile]