Incredibly fucking slow at it 🤧
i fixed it
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JBB: An Artblog!

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shark vs the universe

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roma★
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
NASA
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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if i look back, i am lost
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@pankite
Incredibly fucking slow at it 🤧
i fixed it
I keep using my girlfriend with unusual work hours to get out of coworker interactions and happy hours and hanging out.
But now the company holiday party is upon us.
And I’ve been lying about the girlfriend.
I suddenly really empathise with the characters in Hallmark Christmas movies.
I like that people have two reactions to this post.
Reasonable: “just say she couldn’t make it!”
Chaotic: FAKE DATING AU
And so it begins
Update, Craigslist has flagged my post as inappropriate.
Apparently you can’t solicit a date as a “gig”
I now see my mistake
Update: a date has been acquired. This is true lesbian solidarity in action.
My wife has now read this and wonders how baby gays are even meeting and mating
Can confirm I am meeting and mating just fine 😂
By the way I’m in a relationship with this woman now
This is the feedback I’ve been looking for
Do you ever become desensitized to your own trauma?? Like you’ve been dealing with it for so long that when you accidentally let it slip out in conversation and the persons like “um oh my god?” You’re like wow I forgot my life has been one unspeakable horror after another #noted
your friend group in your 20s will consist entirely of people who are either a) gay b) have the same trauma as you c) work with you or d) all of the above
and how could i possibly forget e) lives too far away from you to meet up irl more than once or twice a year
hoodies are one of the most powerful and underappreciated articles of clothing. cold? put on a hoodie. raining? put on a hoodie. no bra? put on a hoodie. nothing to wear? hoodie. cripplingly low self esteem? you already know. so versatile! so multifaceted!
Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
The spiritual successor to Miette
Might I also add
May i add the piece from artist Verbal Vomit
Glad to see we’re all in agreement that cats talk like disparaged victorian children
I am so incredibly glad we finally moved on from "i can has". Cats are clearly smart enough for advanced sentence structure and dumb enough to draw entirely incorrect conclusions about what they're talking about.
My cat, banging the cabnet door over and over and over: bang bang bang
Me: you will not earn what you desire by banging the cabinet door.
My cat: This is a test of wills, is it not? We shall see if your ability to put up with my incessant banging outlasts my eternal lust for snackie treats. Years of conditioning have hardened me for this purpose. bang bang bang
Me: ksst!
My cat, throwing herself to the ground like she's been shot: Oh! Oh I have been assailed in my own home! Have mercy, have pity! Surely in the cruel darkness of your heart there is some mote of goodness that might stay your hand! Do not strike me, I pray you!
Me: ok
My cat, after waiting about 3 minutes: bang bang bang
Both Anna and Elsa make amazing queens.
I love Anna’s warmth and how she interacts with the people of Arendelle. I love the way she converses easily with them
I love the way Elsa interacts with the people of Arendelle too. Some of my favorite moments in the shorts show her warmth out among the people - conducting the choir of children, lovingly going among the people during When We’re Together.
I love Anna’s determination in difficult situations, her resolve and firmness in times of trouble. I love Anna’s quick thinking, as illustrated in the wolf chase. I love how she never gives up.
I love Elsa’s reflectiveness, her determination as well.
Both of them work remarkably well together and exist on equal footing. They both are greatly skilled.
And I love them working together, looking to the future hand in hand.
These are not choices.
Hiya! You're really great at answering questions on the frozen universe and I have a question I'd like your thoughts on if you don't mind? Of course please don't feel obligated to reply at all! So I was wondering... who would notice Anna was pregnant first and how? I imagine Elsa or Kristoff noticing somethings off first but I think Kai and Gerda won't be completely out the loop when their queen starts acting strange. Anyway, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this if you don't mind!
Aww! thank you for saying that! I think of Frozen 24/7 so this message got me really excited. :D Okay so...
Kristoff: useless and absolutely clueless. He’s the last person to notice. Olaf: starts to wonder why Anna has to go to the bathroom to vomit. He doesn’t know what “vomit” means, so he looks it up. He asks her if she’s been eating Kristoff’s Flemmy stew and suggests that she stays away from it. Elsa: She’s usually hypersensitive to Anna’s moods, and she’s super worried because Anna tires easily nowadays and she’s been crying over the smallest things (Anna, it was an accident. Sven doesn’t hate you for stepping on his hoof - nonono Anna please stop crying - SVEN, COME HERE AND TELL HER YOU DON’T HATE HER. NOW.) Elsa also notices the spirits gravitating to Anna more than usual - Gale is hovering over her, the Nokk follows her around the moment she stands up to go somewhere, Bruni seems to find warmth laying on her tummy, and the earth giants are now surrounding Arendelle’s seaport as some sort of.... protective wall? Kai: suspicious but doesn’t voice out his thoughts. He’s seen this kind of behavior before .... how nostalgic and eerily familiar. He mentally takes note of cleaning the nursery room. Gerda: immediately knows way before Anna figures it out herself. The obsessive need to eat three plates of Krumkake, sneaking out of her chambers to find more chocolates late at night, shoooort temper, warding Kristoff off because he smells like wet reindeer (even though he showers daily) - yah, classic Iduna behavior when she was pregnant with the girls. Agnar didn’t smell like reindeer, though. He just smelled undignified, according to Iduna.
;)
"Agnar just smelled undigified" 😂😂😂
It’s 2020 and i still love, respect and ship Elsanna just as strongly as I did 6 years ago.
Those girls belong together forever. No one can change my mind.
STOP RIGHT THERE!
You’re under arrest for being such a cutie. Oh oops it seems I have forgotten my handcuffs I guess I’ll just have to hold your hand. You have the right to remain silent. Or you can talk. I like it when you talk. Okay now come with me please.
letting a traumatized character have their happy ending where they can recover from their trauma will always be a thousand times more powerful than killing them off for shock value
Stuff that always gets me
in addition to the fact that people just have different natural rhythms, a big reason why we can’t seem to go to bed as early as we “should” is that nighttime is, for many of us, our safest and most fulfilling time of day. we don’t have to work, we won’t be contacted by bosses or insurance companies or collection agencies or other suffocating life business… we’re likely only to be contacted by our friends, or by no one at all. night time is release; it’s ours. we can rest or recreate. we can do things we actually want to do. who would choose to cut that short?? just to usher in the next morning when our lives are not our own again? nighttime is precious and nothing could be more normal than the desire to embrace this
So, y’all remember that post that said animals in urban areas slowly became nocturnal to avoid encounters with humans? Apparently that includes humans.
I think I might have a new horrible, terrible, fucking amazing story idea.
Okie dokie it took a very disturbing turn very quickly but here's the idea;
Imagine the tiniest, most wimpy, pathetic, pitiful dragon you possibly can. She's got blunt horns and blunt teeth, and her claws aren't very sharp! She's a little smaller than your average house cat! Her name is Altheria. Her hoard consists of;
One dirty gold coin
That's it.
And she's so little she can't even hold the coin in one paw. It's not a big coin, she's just little and doesn't have thumbs! 👍
So the other dragons are all bigger and greedy, and very mean to her. She's struggling to hold onto her one pathetic coin, and these other dragons are fucking HUGE with caves full of gold, yet they're super greedy and want all the gold they can get! So one of them sees Altheria's single little coin and steals it. She tries to fight back, but they're so big compared to her that they just bat her out of the sky like hitting a fly with fly swatter.
So she's lost her entire hoard in one night, and she's feeling pretty pathetic, when she sees a poster!
HELP WANTED - RESCUE PRINCESS ELIZABETH - REWARD 15,000 GOLD
and she gets a very bad idea, but she's pretty desperate and stupid so she does it anyway!
So the story follows Altheria as she blunders her way through this quest to save the kidnapped princess (so tragically taken days before her wedding!!!) And she kinda sucks at it. She mostly skates by because everyone looks at her and goes "She's so small!!! She's harmless!!!"
And there's this thing called The Gift that people are born with. Only people with The Gift can understand dragons, so no one knows what the fuck she's saying anyway. Everyone just ignores her!
Well Altheria makes it to the bandit infested fortress where the princess is only to discover....
Drum roll please!!!!
The princess wasn't kidnapped. She ran the fuck away because she was not vibing with that whole marriage thing. She's taken over this small army of bandits and become their leader. She's plotting to take over her father's kingdom and become queen instead of being sold off to some prince. She's building an army.
Elizabeth has offered every would-be rescuer to show up a choice; join her cause, or die. Out of 37 would be rescuers, only three have joined her. The other 34 she defeated and killed in single combat. Because she's a badass.
She then ransomed the bodies to their families for a shit load of money.
So Eliza has The Gift, and gives Altheria the same choice but with some added sugar; if Altheria joins up, she can be Eliza's treasurer.
Altheria takes one look at the 35,000 gold Eliza has built up, and Eliza promises they'll get even more gold if they can take over the kingdom... And Altheria is 100% on board!!!!
But the reason dragons need gold is simple; the more gold a dragon possess, the larger they grow. That's why Altheria was so small. She only had one coin! But now she has 35,000 that she (kinda, she shares with Eliza) owns.
Altheria starts growing again. Throughout their quest to take back the kingdom in Eliza's name, she gets bigger, her teeth and horns get sharper, her fire gets hotter... She becomes a fucking badass, just like Eliza.
That's as far as I've gotten so far.
This story is badass. hehe~ Imagine Eliza and Altheria going around defeating the other dragons that bullied Altheria before (in the sense of robbing; unless dragons do “fair and square” matches to get the Gold) and Altheria just becomes this extra huge, extra strong, extra badass dragon and the rest are now the tiny fly treatment dragons. XD hahaha
I have this image in my head of Altheria eating the alley cat that was mean to her in chapter one, but this works too
OP can I 🅱️lease draw fanart
I would die for you if you did
Bless
And you know I had to draw my favorite part
I'm actually crying oh my god I can't see the screen anymore my eyes are too blurry with tears in my god oh my god oh my god do you understand you're my favorite person now? Holy shit holy shit holy shit I love you she looks so little and perfect it's exactly how I pictured it thank you THANK YOU THANK YOU❤ ❤ ❤
I hope you know I've been sitting here in hysterics repeating SHE'S GOT A LITTLE FORK SWORD SHE'S GOT A LITTLE FORK SWORD SHE'S GOT A LITTLE FORK SWORD OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH OH MY GOD
with one amendment: could she possibly eat the dog who was mean to her in chapter 1?
How about a raccoon instead?
Raccoons are mean and associated with no gender, I concur.
I’m just ... u know, imagining this ... very nice, old black lady voice for the “is there a problem, Elizabeth” but ALSO imagining a princess voice. AGH
I picture Elizabeth's voice as very prim, proper, and delicate. Like cheery and upbeat no matter what she's talking out. Think like if Janet from The Good Place was a princess.
Yo, can Altheria get her dirty, small coin back? Like a keepsake for something?
Shhhhh spoilers. I've actually got a full plot now, I'm getting into the first draft as we speak.