dont deny it DONT DENY ITĀ
āIt never works for us, and it never will.ā
āIām done. Iām done trying so hard only for you to never even look in my direction.ā
āI canāt fall in love with you. Ā I donāt want all the pain that comes with it.ā
āMy roommate had to go into my room and throw the sheets away because I havenāt been able to sleep in that bed since you left.ā
āI keep asking myselfĀ āwhy isnāt the sun bright anymoreā but then I remember youāre not in my life anymore and realize itās just my own eyes.ā
āI regret it all. Ā I really do, I swear. Ā Please, pleaseā letās fix this, please.ā
āRemember when you promised weād always be together? Ā Because I remember when I thought you meant it.ā
āI canāt move on from something that wasnāt supposed to end!ā
āThe phone calls arenāt the same⦠I can hear in your voice that itās not the same anymore.ā
āIām trying to avoid talking because I know what itāll lead to, and I donāt want that to come.ā
āDonāt you think you can fall back in love with me?ā
āThis whole time Iāve been using you to make me feel better, and you never caught on. Ā You never caught on. Ā I want you to hate me now, but I donāt think youāre even able to.ā
āKissing me breaks the promise⦠remember?ā
āEvery time we fix things something else ends up breaking.ā
āWhy donāt we stop pretending weāre not on a road to destruction?ā
āIt wasnāt even fun at first, honestly. Ā It was just like⦠Morphine.ā
āYouāre just not enough anymore.ā
āItās been too long since youāve really smiled.ā
āAh, it was all my fault. Ā Wasnāt it?ā
āTo think, we thought just the sex would be enough to keep us in love.ā
āBack then, I lied when I told you I didnāt love you. Ā You needed to move on from meā I needed to protect you from me.ā
āYou never had that shine in your eyes when you were with me.ā
āQuit trying to fix me when you need to just fix yourself.ā
āIām so tired of everything about us, and about how we thought we were in love, and how we think forcing it can make us be in loveā Iām so tired of it.ā
āThis whole time youāve still been in love with him/her⦠Not me.ā
āI couldnāt make you fall in love with me. Ā I thought I could do it, I really did, but⦠But I know you⦠And this isnāt love.ā
āDid you really think I needed that kiss back then when all that you conveyed in it was pity?ā
āTo think Iāve changed so much to get you to like me, and you still never really look my way.ā
āI know I deserve better than you. Ā I realize that, but you were so broken⦠I didnāt want to be the one that made you shatter.ā
āAll of this was to protect myself.ā
āI feel like Iāve been looking for who you used to be⦠Back when you were actually happy.ā
āI never want to even hear your name during my life anymore.ā
āYour lips used to be sanctuary, but now I just feel trapped.ā
āIsnāt it time we both stopped pretending we make each other happy?ā
āThe thing I regret the most is giving you so much hope by agreeing to this date.ā
āWe have the kind of history anyone would never want to think about again, and youāre hear asking me on a date?ā
āWhat makes you think Iāll be any different this time?ā
āIāll let you down. Ā I will always let you down. Ā Iām not enough for you to be satisfied.ā
āAre you satisfied with the mess youāve created out of me?ā
āI should have listened to everyone who told me this was a bad idea.ā
āIāve never met someone who can so gently destroy me the way you do.ā
āI canāt forget about him/her! Ā Itās not in my power to forget how he/she felt when they loved me.ā
āThe saddest thing is that when I told him/her I loved him/her, he/she thought I was lying. Ā He/she never believed someone could fall in love with him/her.ā
āListen⦠ Youāre his/her best friend⦠and I completely fucked upā itās over between us, but⦠please, punch me, or punish me, or do something to me because he/she just⦠cried. Ā He/she wasnāt even angry, they were just so sadā Please, be angry at me, please. Ā Give me what I deserve.ā
āIt would have been better if we never met.ā
āYouāre my regret.ā
āIām not angry at you, just at myself⦠Because I knew this would happen, but I let myself fall in love with you anyways.ā
āDonāt tell me to give up like everything is meaningless.ā
āThis is why I donāt let myself fall in love.ā
āSomewhere deep inside me, I still have hope that youāll fall in love. Ā How pathetic.ā