Rhonda’s Paranormal Pest Control - Catching Up
Writer's Note: So, originally it was supposed to be a friend who called, but someone else decided that they wanted to chat instead
I zipped up my black coveralls, my name embroidered on the chest. I pulled the blowtorch from the back of my car and shut the trunk. The sucker stick hanging from my mouth and earbud completes the look.
I gazed towards the cemetery, hands popping out of the dirt like rotten dandelions and weeds.
“Ready?” Red asked in her blood-colored coveralls, hoodie, and mask that covered most of her scarred face.
“As I’ll ever be,” I answered as an arm from a newly dug grave stretched towards the sky.
“When I catch this necromancer, I’m going to put them in the ground for good,” she complained, unsheathing her sword. “I lacerate; you incinerate.”
I took the white stick from my lips and flicked it at one of the coming creatures. “You got it.”
She strode forward, each step fast than the last as she sped up. She hacked and slashed at the corpses, mostly decapitating them.
I followed behind her and burned the bodies.
My phone buzzed, and I answered it on the headset without looking, “Rhonda’s Paranormal Pest Control. What’s buggin’ ya?”
“It’s pathetic that the only way I can talk to my granddaughter is while she’s at work,” an elderly man said.
“Hey, Pop-Pop.” I torched the groaning figure that lumbered towards me. “How’s everything going?”
“Oh, you know how it is. Your grandmama has been baking up a storm to prep for the holidays, and I’ve been doing my usual.”
“Kicking the other old people’s butts at Gin?”
“Not my fault they aren’t getting any better.”
“Have you been getting up and going for walks?” I stepped over a charred mass of flesh and bones.
“Argh. Not you too.”
“Mum said that your doctor gave you orders to exercise everyday.”
“I golf.”
“Do you take a cart or drag your clubs on the course?”
He grumbled and did not answer.
One of the creatures groaned behind me.
I flipped the torch under my arm and pulled the trigger, light it up like a candle.
“There’s a lot of noise. What’re you working against today?”
“Zombies.”
“Ah, nasty buggers,” he said with a hint of disgust. “It’s not the time of year for zombies, though.”
“Yeah, there’s a necromancer raising them. Red’s on the hunt.”
“Hm. Good lass, that Red. She’ll catch them in no time.”
“Well, yeah. She’s finally got a lock on that necromancy scent.”
“One good thing that came after dealing with that big bad wolf. How’s her grandma?”
“Not sure.” I put my hand over the microphone. “Hey, Red!”
“Kinda busy!” She huffed as she swung her sword.
“Pop-Pop wants to know how your grandma’s doing!”
“She’s doing great!” She grinned, stretching the deep years-long-healed gashes on her face. “She demands a rematch and wanted to know if your grandmama is going to enter an Apple pie in the county fair this year.” She stabbed one of the zombies in the chest, carving its heart out.
I told him what she said, “Is Grandmama doing the fair?” I asked him.
“Of course she is!” He sounded wounded that I would question that.
“She’s gonna do it!” I answered Red.
“I’ll let grandma know.”
“Well, I guess I should let you two get back to work…” his voice trailed.
“Pop-Pop, make sure you get outside and exercise,” I reminded him. “I need you to stay alive for another thousand years.”
He laughed. “You know, someday, I’m going to meet my end, just like the rest of life.”
“Yeah, but it can be a little while until then.”
“All right, kiddo. I love you, and we’ll see you during the holidays.”
“I’ll be there. Love you too, Pop-Pop.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(RIP Pop-Pop and Grandmama. ;_; I miss you both, and wish you could've met all of your great-grandkids.)