The nursery smelled like baby powder and warm milk, the air thick with comfort, with safety. Stuffed animals lined the crib, the mobile above it spinning lazily, casting soft shadows on the walls. The changing table was stocked high with thick, crinkly diapers—normal ones, everyday ones. But not the ones Daddy had just unfolded with deliberate care.
The ones with the extra-thick padding, the extra-cute baby prints, the ones that made his head feel all fuzzy and warm and… empty.
He sat on the floor in just his t-shirt and diaper, sucking absently on his pacifier, fingers twitching in his lap. He shouldn’t have been able to think like this—so clearly, so aware—but it always happened before Daddy taped one on. The moment it was snug, everything changed.
“Daddy?” he murmured around his paci, looking up as Daddy turned from the changing table, fresh Pampers in hand.
He shifted, his current diaper squishing beneath him. He had no idea when it had gotten wet. He didn’t remember needing to go, didn’t remember doing it, but there it was—puffy, warm, soaked through, and totally unnoticed until now.
“Uhm…” He sucked harder, cheeks warming, struggling to find the words. “I—I think… I f’got sumthin’.”
Daddy kneeled in front of him, smiling gently. “What do you mean, sweetheart?”
His fingers twitched again, grasping at something—some memory, some skill, something that had been his before the last diaper change but was now completely out of reach. He whimpered.
“Last time… last time you put me in one of the special Pampers…” He hesitated, pressing his hands between his legs, feeling the sodden padding there. “I—I knew when I was wet before. I knew when I hadta tell you. But… now…” His lips wobbled. “I dunno no more.”
Daddy cupped his cheek, thumb stroking soft, slow circles. “Oh, baby,” he cooed, voice filled with warmth, with reassurance. “That’s because little ones like you don’t need to know when they’re soggy.”
“But I did know before…” he whispered. “And now I don’t.”
Daddy only smiled, guiding him gently onto the changing mat. “And after this change, baby? I wonder what you’ll forget next.”
His pacifier bobbed in his mouth as he whimpered softly, squirming as Daddy lifted his legs and slid the special Pampers underneath him. The thickest ones. The ones that always made him feel so floaty, so little, so… empty.
His thoughts swirled, slow and sleepy.
Maybe next time… maybe next time he wouldn’t even know how to ask.
And maybe… just maybe… he wouldn’t mind at all.
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