caldwell . @pastfear - Tumblr Blog

( mattyandrews ) ; matthew & haesoo !

Matthew had expected his return to Gilchrist to be overwhelming, to test him in ways that it always had even when he was happy to be there. But it hadn’t even been a week yet and already he had found himself in tears - his pillows stained with the salty droplets of his misery. Despite the message he’d received from his father earlier that day, thanking him for the money and expressing just how important it was to the bakery that he’d sent it when he had, Matty still felt a deep seated unease.

Having had the day to ruminate on the newest bombshell, Matthew felt it was time to turn to the only way he knew how to deal with things - art. He’d seen others doing the same already but for him it had always been a solitary act, one that he used as the final expression of his feeling instead of the first reaction to emotions. This was how he would finally come to terms with the news and find the presence within himself to continue with whatever was to come next.

Into a small backpack he slid a sketchbook, his trusted pencil-case and set off to find the spot he thought best. Matthew walked the halls of the manor as if he were lost, letting his mind wander to the memories he held of Mr Gilchrist. Finally he settled in the grand entrance hall with it’s sculptures and exhibitions - recalling a memory from his first year with the Gravediggers. He had been in awe of the splendor of the manor, it was nothing like anything he had access to before and like an excited child in a sweet shop he had been taking in all the wonderful pieces of work when he heard the light cough from the balcony above. Mr Gilchrist himself stood, looking down at him with a look that to this day Matthew still never understood.

Now, he sat himself down in a quiet spot looking up at that balcony once again and began sketching. Drawing upon the memory that was now tinged with the greying of the manor for which the care seemed to have slipped. Working in his own bubble, as he always did once he started on a new piece, Matty had no concept of how long it had been when the person stepped into his light. “Excuse me sorry, you’re blocking me light.” He spoke before looking up, his eyes trying to hide the overwhelming emotions he was feeling inside. “I don’t need you to leave just, take a step to the side or something please. I need to see that spot specifically.” He gestured up towards the section he had been sketching in immaculate detail - showing the person who now stood above him the sketchbook quickly. “I’m not in the way down here am I?” Matty asked, unsure if the person had stopped because him being sat on the floor had been a problem.

it is likely the echoing clack of her heels against marble tile , that disguised the sound of a writing utensil scribbling , with purpose , against the page. she’s startled from her own thoughts when the man speaks from the floor. admittedly haesoo isn’t thinking of much. it’s the perfect time of day , a quiet transition period she can spend mindfully , instead of ruminating. instead of worrying. “oh , my apologies.” she turns to see the scene behind her she’d blocked , and then back to where he held up the sketchbook.

art was among the most telling aspects of a person. a transparent expression far easier to read than the words that fall past trembling lips. she uses art to interpret many of the thoughts and emotions , even trauma , in many of her clients back in london. what is it about the artist ?

haesoo regards his work , a gentle smile on the corners of her lips ; she shakes her head. “no. carry on.” and she steps to the side , her hands wringing together in front of her.

it’s a sketch , hard to read. all she really gathers from such a candid image is that he is talented. it’s reminiscent of the work that surround the pair , sculptures carved intricately to capture every detail ( they are so literal , after all ) , and it’s his expression that says more. several beats pass as she eyes neighboring sculptures , gaze skimming the same plaques she remembers still , from years and years ago.

her fingers trace the grooves of a particular engraving , one that hadn’t been there when she’d lived in this manor the first time. that’s when she speaks again. “did you know him well ?” her eyes remain focused on the name in front of her as she clarifies , “junior?”

#mattyandrews #hc int.#hc ft. matthew.

( silasmrgan ) ; haesoo & silas !

Silas held a freshly poured glass of white wine, the brim pressed to his lips as he sat on a sofa in the den. He didn’t feel as shocked as he should, like he was prepared for the news even though he had no idea it was coming. “I’ve seen a few weeping. It’s a bit — I mean, one would guess this is the first loss they’d ever experienced.”

it’s a rare sighting of haesoo without a drink in hand , but her relationship with the glass has been compromised due to unnamed , recent events . best to be alert , these days. “you mustn’t make assumptions,” she says , albeit not entirely invested in the conversation ; in fact , haesoo makes such an efficient multi-tasker that she doesn’t need to look at them to maintain the interaction ( and she isn’t ). “we all process our emotions differently.”

#silasmrgan #alcohol tw #hc int.#hc ft. silas.

( islaherveaux ) ; haesoo & isla !

God, she was so fucking BORED. While everyone else cried and talked about how upset they were and pretended the old man had kicked the bucket, Isla was busy nursing a hangover, courtesy of all she drank thanks to how everyone was annoying her. She had ended up on a random sofa after breakfast, still wearing the risky outfit she had decided to surprise people at breakfast with, Isla was still lying on the couch when she noticed someone has approached her.

“Unless you are here to let me blow you or know someone that needs that, I do not care about what you have to say.“

she should know , from the conversation with the woman the other night , that she was fine. still , haesoo can’t help approaching to see if she was okay , anyways. there were quite a few of the gravediggers’ alumni who were worrying her since the news of the murder. isla wasn’t one of them. at least , not for the same reasons . “that’s a bit forward,” she says , pulling her cardigan closer around her. it was light , something she’d pulled on over the tank top she’d fallen asleep in. just looking at isla’s outfit made her feel cold.

crossing the rest of the way towards the couch , haesoo taps the girl’s foot. “can i sit ?”

#murder tw #nsfw language tw #psychoanalysis 101 haesoo version fjkdhfksjfs #hc int.#hc ft. isla.

#digooc #it's almost 5am oh my god

( aydaturan ) ; haesoo & ayda !

“ you met his father? i’m sure that brought all the pieces together — why he is the way that he is. ” perhaps it’s the initiation process or the accidental deaths that have taken place during her time at the manor, but ayda presumes the man could not have had the best childhood or the most adoring parental figures. she tips the half-empty wine glass in her hand side-to-side, wondering how hard it could be to find the man after a thorough online search, google images and whatnot. “ he’s watching us, i get the feeling. i wouldn’t be surprised if it turns out he hired someone else to send out the letters — perhaps it’s a haunting of hill house sort of situation? or clue, the board game? how funny would that be, if he wanted us to dig his grave? ” safe to say she’s had a few drinks.

she nods , not having noticed immediately , that whole thing really gives away how old she is. as though , it isn’t already entirely obvious by how young a lot of the crowd is so far. “well , i may be a psychologist but there’s too many missing pieces. and i’m no detective,” chuckles haesoo as she takes an admittedly considerable drink of her wine. a lot of the company here is pleasant , some more than others. but nothing yet has been able to get her to shake the feeling that being back in this manor , has cemented into her nerves. “that is an interesting theory. you’d think he would be done playing games now that lives have been lost , but i won’t put it past them.”

#alcohol tw #aydaturan #hc int.#hc ft. ayda.

( aurcraa ) ; haesoo & aurora !

“I really don’t think he’s showing,” Aurora answered, folding her arms across her chest.

She didn’t recognize the other alum, but she honestly hadn’t really come back for the annual Gravediggers Ball so she wouldn’t know most anyone here. If they weren’t in her general era of Gilchrist, she liked to think they didn’t even exist. She knew better, of course, but it was easier to sleep at night if this whole thing was over.

this woman seemed particularly pessimistic and naturally , that intrigued haesoo. “why wouldn’t he ? his letter was hardly descriptive enough to leave us without direction.” she rests an arm at her side , the other cupping her glass as she looks the other over with curiosity. “and he organized this whole thing ,” she adds.

#aurcraa #hc int.#hc ft. aurora.

( islaherveaux ) ; haesoo & isla !

“i think he is busy in one of those weird rooms creeps have where instead of walls they have a lot of monitors following our every move. I also think that this is actually an audition so Junior can find himself a new partner. You know, like the ones Tom Cruise had?“ Yeah, okay, maybe it was a bit too far-fetched, but Isla thought that since everyone was coming up with their own explanations, the least she could do was think of something that was actually entertaining. “What was the dad like? You know, I have always been curious about that. What kind of can would he be to be able to convince his son that burying people alive for a night was a good initiation ritual“

she eyes the nearest wall to her left , for any immediate evidence of the woman’s claims. “i’m not following.” it seems far-fetched given the lack of evidence , though she doesn’t seem particularly concerned about the theory being true , either ; haesoo concludes the younger woman was making a joke. a gentle smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes , she sips her wine . “children don’t need convincing. they are so moldable , especially by those they trust.” she says after a beat. “but he was persuasive , his father. i don’t think he’d raise a son that needs a partner , as you suggest.”

#alcohol tw #islaherveaux #hc int.#hc ft. isla.

( tcthetouch ) ; haesoo & tony !

tony had a vivid image of dr. gilchrist – one that wasn’t likely, but somehow seemed perfectly accurate. yes, in their image of him, he had perfectly white hair ( somehow rather full for his age ), a handlebar mustache, and a monocle as he rode along in a horse-drawn carriage… he was essentially the monopoly man ( but with a monocle, yes ). due to this mental image, they had but one answer when they heard a voice address them: “ stopped to do some last minute viagra shopping. ”

she pauses with her glass halfway to her lips again already , and haesoo throws her head forward with a surprised laugh ( perhaps her first of the evening ). “he’s particular about that , is he?” she presses her fingers tighter to the thin glass she holds between them , laugh fading to amused beam. likely not accurate , but theirs was definitely her favorite theory of the evening. “brilliant. you sound very confident. you’ve met him ?”

#tcthetouch #hc int.#hc ft. tony.#they are my idol jkgdhfjksfks

( junijiang ) ; haesoo & jun !

“I met him a couple of times in passing when I visited recently,” Jun admitted with a small shrug. She hadn’t really spent a lot of time with him, the visits had been fleeting and she’d preferred to spend her time with the students that she was going to speak with rather than members of the faculty. “Who knows, he can’t be that busy he no longer has a university to run… and you’d think after bringing everyone here he’d have the decency to pop in.”

haesoo cannot believe that between the reunion and aura of mystery accompanying them this evening , they haven’t discussed the university yet. "yes . isn’t that unbelievable ?” the news of the university’s closing still feels unreal to haesoo , even given the deaths that plagued the grounds not far from where they gathered. even given the months that have passed since the news broke , which is precisely why she’s already left behind any thoughts of the missing francis gilchrest ii.

#death tw #junijiang #hc int.#hc ft. jun.

( vanderbiltlegacy ) ; haesoo & rose !

rose hadn’t been back to the manor since she was in the school’s colors and throwing her hat in the air. the memory brought a smile to her lips, she looked out her room’s window when a knock came and it was time for dinner. after dressed and the meal with a glass of wine in her hand it was time for small talk.

“what year did you graduate?”

it’s straightforward , something that haesoo uncharacteristically appreciates in this setting. the vibe in the dining hall is tense , and it seems everyone ( including herself ) is hiding something. so yes , she appreciates the direct dialogue. pausing with her fork halfway to her mouth. “probably not as long ago as you’re guessing,” says hae to the substantially younger woman. “you? can’t be more than two or three years ago.”

#vanderbiltlegacy #hc int.#hc ft. rosalie.

( ximelascurain ) ; haesoo & ximena !

Taking refuge in the den was a habit that she had apparently not forgotten since her university years. Going there meant that she could find something fun to do and not stay in her room only thinking of the ghosts that she was sure were following her. She was disappointed when she found the place empty, after all, she had gone there with the idea of finding someone to talk to, or maybe just put on a movie she wouldn’t have to watch alone.

Deciding to stay until she was comfortable enough to go back to her room, she found a collection of vinyls she could put in the old gramophone in the corner on the room, and was happy when she pulled out an old record of one of her favorite musicals. She put it in the player and listened to a few songs before the one she was waiting for played.

-Raindrops on roses,

And whiskers on kittens-

She sang along to the song. Perhaps she only had to channel the energy of it. Remember her favorite things to make her time at Dublin as easy as possible. “Pressed flowers,” she began listing them aloud. “Rain, pozole, the stars.” She kept her eyes closed, imagining it all, too absent to notice someone else entering the room.

there’s the sound of a woman’s voice over soft music as she walks past the open den . it’s not alarming by any means but , like most things , it piques her curiosity. and so , haesoo pauses , she sighs at her own lack of impulse control & turns back to enter the den. she’s tired , feet ache to get out of heels and eyelids to slip shut for a few hours , yet here she is , staring at a woman by the record player. hae clears her throat.

“hello,” she greets , her legs carrying her subconsciously , to the bar where she plucks out a bottle and slides herself a glass. “are you all right ? i didn’t know anybody liked to hang about the den alone.” eyebrows raise as she casts a gaze towards the other. haesoo’s evening has so far been plagued by confusion , and short , snarky interactions with people she doesn’t know. she knows straight away however , this alumni for whatever reason , stands out to haesoo from the evening , intrigues her despite the lack of exchange so far. it’s something she appreciates , knowing full well she’s risking being terribly wrong.

#alcohol tw #ximelascurain #hc int.#hc ft. ximena.

( valorslains ) ; haesoo & illumi !

the dinner had concluded yet illumi remained at the table . the final course , an earl grey chiffon cake with buttercream frosting , plated on an elegant piece of china . beside it was yet another extravagant piece of dinnerware but , instead of a cake it was a parfait with crepes and cookie sticks . and finally a bowl of fruit alongside a trio of ramekins filled with chocolate , whipped cream , and caramel . as dull as her expression remained , illumi was transfixed by the arrangement of sweets . it almost made the trip worth it , almost . she indulged as the evening transpired but her gluttony didn’t blind her from her surroundings . “ you’ve been standing there for quite sometime . ” her accent is soft but devoid of any innocence — cuteness . illumi looked over her shoulder . “ if you’re waiting for an invitation consider this to be it . ”

across the room , haesoo sees someone she certainly recognizes. not from the years she spent living here ( obviously , for haesoo probably graduated when most of these people were toddlers ) , but rather , after. her attention is brought away from them , to instead on the alumni closest to her , to whom’s chair hae was , admittedly , hovering quite close. “right. well , i wasn’t, but . . .” but she’ll bite. she slides into a chair , not directly beside the stranger but a few to the left. an elbow presses into the mahogany , and black curls into palm. she eyes the other quickly. the tension is thick , everywhere. “you should eat the fruit first. did you know that blueberries help with anxiety , paranoia ? the like.” she smiles----sourly , almost . haesoo can reserve her judgements sitting across from a patient of hers . not here with grown adults. or maybe she’s just projecting.

#valorslains #hc int.#hc ft. illumi.#gshsjkfhsjkfs

( madiecosta ) ; haesoo & madi !

It wasn’t as cold outside as Madi would have expected, but she was used to a much warmer climate. The dinner had gone on for far too long, in her opinion. It felt like a scene out of a fairytale, one where a human gets turned around and lands themself in a magical land with all the food they could eat. But everything seemed just a little bit off, smiles a little too wide, and when they turned to leave, the human would discover that the food they’d consumed was a promise never to leave. She shivered and wrapped her goat around herself. Madi meandered through the garden, the sounds of the party going on in the manor faded. Her eyes glided over the shapes of the flowers, but didn’t really take them in. What caught her eye instead was the figure entering the garden as well. “You might want to grab a sweater before you come out here. You could end up looking like one of those statues if you don’t.”

yes , there is quite a chill & it runs up haesoo’s arms & spine as she steps outside. the garden , how the memories fill her heart before they do her brain. she fishes a cigarette from her pack , the real reason she’s stepped out. that , and to cool down. she halfway smiles at the other , but it’s full sarcasm. “thanks , for the tip.” perhaps years ago she would have cared ; in fact , she knows she would have. not now. years have crusted over the woman’s if she hadn’t broken it by now , she never would. besides , the kids these days seemed to be more accepting of most. this one’s a kid , right ? “this place hasn’t changed at all , you know? twenty-five years.” she flicks the lighter she’d tucked into the pocket of her dress pants , lights the end of the stick she balances between her lips.

#smoking tw #madiecosta #hc int.#hc ft. madi.

open starter ft. haesoo caldwell ; location , the party room .

these lights are brighter than she remembered , it’s all she thinks upon entering the party room. she’s full from dinner , satisfied but ready for sleep. and to get out of the heels she wore , paired with wide dress pants and a favorite cardigan . curiosity’s always gotten the best of haesoo , however ; and so she commences into the party room with the others. she’s underwhelmed so far , really. “i never met the guy. just his father,” she says to the nearest gravediggers alumni. someone here’s bound to have seen him in the flesh. most of the crowd seems young enough , anyways. “what’s your theory? where the hell is he ?”

#digstart #hc open.#i wanted to get this out #before work sekfnjsfs #but i'm ready to attack everyone's opens thank u

servphina ; haesoo & seraphina !

“ you would think they were forced to come here, ” she remarks, tilting her glass of cabernet sauvignon towards her lips as she follows the tense lines of people’s shoulders, the gazes cast askance. they probably were; it’s so easy to retrieve message correspondences, encrypted or otherwise, though she doesn’t say it out loud. anyway, seraphina doesn’t have any incentive to do any digging, not yet, not when there’s no real benefit to having them. perhaps it’s also because their alumni relations leaves a lot to want, but seraphina would think that their society has a more unified front. “ and so serious. i don’t recall frowning as one of our requirements going in. ”

her shoulders , too , are tense. but haesoo enjoys the us vs. them mentality. even after all these years since she lived in this very manor , she likes to be a judger , to prick and prod at the perceptions of others . and doesn’t everyone crave acceptance a little bit ? even in the eyes of a young girl such as seraphina --- who she’d met minutes ago , only. “yeah . really makes you feel like you missed something , doesn’t it ?” hae takes a sip of her own drink , eyeing the cynical small groups of mingling gravedigger alumni. she might as well be right among them , a textbook over-thinker but thorough through & through .

#alcohol tw #servphina #hc int.#hc ft. seraphina.

#digooc #don't think i'm showing up in the tags yet but :'')

omg hi i’m olivia!! i use she / her pronouns and i’m uhh , super excited to get to know u all and your characters . allow me to introduce a character i am very excited to get to know as well , hae caldwell !

sandra oh & cis woman . ⇢ HAESOO CALDWELL , age 48 , graduated Gilchrist University in 1995 as a PSYCHOLOGY major . SHE was born in MANCHESTER , ENGLAND & has been living in LONDON working as a PSYCHOTHERAPIST . HAE is known to be CONFIDENT , EMPATHETIC , SHORT-TEMPERED & CRASS and that might be because SHE is a TAURUS . ⇠

#digintro #it's so late i know but i was too excited to wait to post :')

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