And stone among the stones, he returned to the joy of his heart, to the truth of the motionless worlds.
— Albert Camus, A Happy Death.
with OFF 's remake released, i have returned to tumblr for the sake of content and ( hopefully ) finding actually nuanced people. here is a pinned i probably should've made a long time ago wwww.
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⠀⠀ @ SALEM
# 8teen﹒he / they
ᡣ𐭩 autism + borderline (bpd)
✦︰꒰ AUTISM HOARD ꒱︰✦
︶ ︶ ꒷ ︶꒦ ✧ ꒷꒦
OFF┊Project Moon
Death Note・Pokemon・Your Turn To Die・Classic lit.
Inscryption┊Neon Genesis Evangelion
Ace Attorney・Portal・Undertale・Deltarune
Ghost Trick┊The World Ends With You
999・Studio Investigrave・Alien Stage・Vocaloid
( current fixations are highlighted . )
ext.
╭・・・・・・・・・・・╮
・artist
・writer
╰・・・・・・・・・・・╮
va (dubcorp) ・rodya
director / actor ・utaite
╰・・・・・・・・・・・╯
pls dm for commission work ( written & visual ) .
╭────┈ ↷
│ ✎┊ ideology
│╭────────────╯
││• socialist | left-wing | anti-capitalist
││• pro-choice
││• anti-proship | pro com & lightship | anti-darkship
││• anti-gacha ( the game system not that one app yk )
││• gender & sexuality abolitionist
││• pro-fujoshi / himedanshi / whatever
││• go my yaoi and yuri
││• anti-delusion ( delusion affirmation, ie delusional attachment )
││• absurdist . . . ?
││• i like philosophy
││• personality disorder supporter
│╰─────────── · · · · ✦
│
│
I BLOCK FREELY because tumblr doesnt have a mute option. doesn't mean you've done anything against me, it could be something as small as having differing hcs. that's all.
disclaimer!! this is a permanent wip! this essay is UNFINISHED!!
Garraty's Repressed Sexuality (and how it "haunts the narrative")
WARNINGS:
This post contains spoilers for The Long Walk (1979). If you've read The Long Walk, you know what you're getting into. But, to be safe, this analysis contains themes of internalized homophobia, sexual humiliation (not the kink), and normative sexual play.
Throughout the course of the Long Walk, Garraty constantly ruminates on the instance in his childhood where he and his childhood friend, Jimmy, were "playing doctor". When Garraty's mom finds out about this, she threatens to make him walk around the neighborhood naked—a humiliation tactic used to punish him. Garraty, mortified, begs her not to tell his father.
It's notable that this humiliation tactic, of being paraded around while in a vulnerable state, is incredibly similar to the Walk itself. So much so that Garraty consistently thinks about if certain parts of the Walk are humiliating. If dying is humiliating, the humiliation of having to do their business in front of crowds of people, etc., etc.
Compare this to his reaction to his mother threatening to make him walk down the street:
(Also note that in this excerpt, Jimmy takes the place of his girlfriend).
And what his mind goes to after ejaculating in his pants after Gribble humps the girls on the side of the road:
It is showcased time and time again that walking is associated with being something humiliating for him; a punishment. And, as an extension, his humiliation often stems from something sexual, likely as a result of this singular instance in this childhood.
It's also important to note that the Walk is primarily propagated to boys as a way of proving their masculinity. The Walk itself is a metaphor for the military, and how militarism is used to uphold the patriarchy by making war seem "noble" to young men. Therefore, from this association Garraty makes alone, it can be deduced that Garraty may have subconsciously signed up for the Walk as a form of punishment, to prove himself as a man. But could it be that he's ashamed of his sexuality as a whole, seeing as the concept of virginity is quite important to young men, especially teenagers? To prove his viability, due to Jan's lack of interest in having sex with him beforehand?
Well, there are many instances of masculinity in particular being intertwined with his sexuality, in his past and on the Walk itself. Garraty's punishment and proving of himself isn't just for his sexuality in general—it is a punishment he internalized as a reaction to his homosexual urges, and in a society where homosexuality is looked down upon, Garraty uses the Walk as a way to reassure himself of his identity.
The Danger of Sexuality
Even greater than the outside ridicule, sexuality as a broad concept is heavily associated with death within the Long Walk, as shown within the first couple of pages wherein Garraty cheats on his girlfriend, Jan, with the woman on the side of the road who is cheering for him.
The first obvious thing to note here is that Garraty draws a warning from his brash and impulsive action, immediately putting a threat to his life despite being at his most invigorated. Incidents like this can and do get Walkers killed, as seen by Gribble and his subsequent cramps (which are attributed to his sexual frustration, but the medical viability for that is iffy at best. Still, the events happen in succession with one another for a reason).
The second and perhaps more interesting point to draw away from this exchange, however, is that Garraty cheats on Jan to do this—Jan, who will gradually turn into a figure of life for Garraty.
He thought about Jan again. He needed her. I love you, Jan, he thought. He wasn’t dumb, and he knew she had become more to him than she actually was. She had turned into a life-symbol. A shield against the sudden death that came from the halftrack.
— Chapter 6
Interpreting this extended metaphor, this scene can then be summed up as Garraty cheating on life with his sexual urges. This is not the only instance of the almost shocking overabundance of arousal highlighted in the walk, and Garraty is not the only one to experience it either. McVries is even quoted saying he's, "never been so horny in [his] life as [he is] right this minute..."
The walk seems to almost invite and yet punish sexuality at the same time, and Garraty is not naïve to this fact. His awareness of it even spurs him to become a hypocrite, constantly judging others for their impulses and debating in his head the state of their virginity.
While I could provide many more instances of this particular association, let me give my due diligence to this video, that guided me to developing this theme in my head through my subsequent re-readings of the novel. Just so I do not end up regurgitating all the original points stated by the creator of that video, I would heavily recommend watching through it, as my beliefs surrounding this theme are very much inspired by and a mirror of the topics brought up in it. Instead, I'll provide a summary of what this means for the sake of this character study, and what it means for Garraty:
Expression of sexuality has time and time again proven to be a danger to Garraty's livelihood, whether it be the threat of death, the threat of emasculation, or the threat of social ridicule. The very first instance of these threats stems from the threat of humiliation by his mother after his incident with Jimmy, and this has influenced Garraty to view all of his sexual advances under a dire and hypocritical lens, where he must psychologically defend himself lest his life be placed in harm's way. This complex serves as the groundwork for Garraty's sensitive relationship with sex, and how homosexuality becomes a point of particular fear and agitation for him over the course of the walk.
"Queerness = Femininity"
To prove the point of Garraty's sexuality serving to threaten his sense of masculinity, it must first be proven that Garraty believes that homosexuality innately makes one less masculine in the first place. Luckily, he makes this very assumption in quite plain text, and while he quickly rescinds the statement (likely to realign his moral values with his subconscious instincts), he still has his doubts, and maintains some prejudice and caution around the topic of what he thinks it means to be queer.
The motivation behind this thesis—for Garraty to protect his masculine identity from the perceived femininity of queerness and the shame that results of it—is present not only in the walk, but in another encounter with Jimmy as well. In the incident that resulted in Jimmy moving away, Garraty mentions multiple times having "accidentally" knocked Jimmy in the face with the barrel of a rifle, resulting in splitting it open and Jimmy needing to get stitches. He revises his recounting of the event in his head, from when it happened to why he did it, until he at last admits to himself that he had done it intentionally, specifically to get vengeance on Jimmy for the shame and emasculation that Garraty was put through when they were caught together.
Another important aspect to this scene, other than Garraty's exposed insecurity about the incident and the vendetta he developed against Jimmy for it, is the specific use of a gun to enact his revenge.
Guns have a history of being used as phallic symbols, presenting masculinity in both sexual and non-sexual ways (once again, another instance of military being used to influence boys and men). In fact, guns are often used in collaboration with a reclaiming of masculinity, as this scene depicts.
This memory also takes place nearing the height of Garraty's shame about the walk, where he is overwhelmed by the Crowd and nearly passes out resisting going through bowel movements in front of the watchful eyes of the onlookers, thus intertwining the two and creating a theme of humiliation in his character.
Women and the Color Blue
As a disclaimer, let me first point out that whether the color blue is intended to be associated with masculinity or femininity by the time The Long Walk was written can be somewhat debated. While the shift of the colors associated with gender predates the book being released, it's very much still possible for King to have been exposed to the "blue for girls, pink for boys" tradition via older family members; however, in the name of Occam's Razor, I'll be assuming this isn't the case. The repeated correlation between the two implies a deeper meaning, and a more interesting one than what would otherwise just be associating women with the traditional femininity.
(It's interesting to note that in the second excerpt, Garraty expresses a sexual disinterest in the female form. This is not the only time that happens, however this essay is to prove an underlying internal conflict regarding an attraction to men, and not to disprove any potential attraction to women as well).
Garraty and Jan
Garraty has a history of ogling the women around him—but there are two instances in particular, wherein the looking has an air of "taboo" (either in the case that he wasn't supposed to see, or that the women did not consent to being visually undressed). In these instances, the women are draped in blue, a color associated with masculinity, and both times Garraty notes feeling some kind of arousal at the sight.
When Garraty is sexually perceiving something he's not intended to be looking at, doing something he's not supposed to, the object of his attraction is coated in a veil representative of masculinity. This can be extended perhaps to him ogling masculine individuals from afar in general, but on its own, it portrays a taboo attraction to men hidden under a veil of pervasive attention directed to women, in order to counteract the cognitive dissonance.
A major counterpoint to this argument could be in way of Garraty's relationship with Jan
favorite color: pink, otherwise green
last song: sunlight by hozier
currently reading: a court of mist and fury by sarah j. maas
currently watching: nothing... give me recs
currently craving: potato soup..
coffee or tea: tea
• Favorite Color: I have multiple but I’d say purple
• Last Song: Phantom Of The Opera by Tommy Johansson (great cover btw)
• Currently Reading: Fantastic Land by Mike Brockoven
• Currently Watching: Reba and Repo! The Genetic Opera
• Currently Craving: Lemon Pepper Chicken (my mom makes the greatest lemon pepper chicken I swear to the gods)
• Coffee or Tea: Tea
Shark I literally love u sm thank you for tagging me <3
Fav color: green
Last song: Emily and me - Flyte
Currently reading: the long walk - Stephen King
Currently watching: Sinners
Currently craving: sleep, that and hot chocolate
Coffee or tea: tea!!!!!!!!
Feel pressured to join: @mossycereustea @tsuna-yaps @grim-hedonism @rae--the--artist @cimacally and all my other wonderful mutuals! I promise I don't hate you I'm just too tired to continue tagging ｡:ﾟ(;´∩`;)ﾟ:｡
reading the book and I’m even more feral for Raybins now omg. I get why it didn’t translate into film since we aren’t in Ray’s head but… holy shit he is obsessed with Stebbins and they haven’t even exchanged two words. I need fandom to get on board with Garraty’s singleminded need to climb Stebbins like a tree and cling to him like a limpet.
saw this dumb shit & I've gotta be a hater about it because jesus fucking christ ya gotta be kidding me.
"without the victims of imperialism" when one of the characters is literally an indigenous man who's story parallels the long history of native genocide via death marches + the way native activism is treated.... Like damn this is genuinely one of the shallowest takes I've ever had the misfortune of seeing in my life.
This person dumb as hell.
shit like this pisses me off so much because while men aren't the most victimized people in the world, we should be able to reach the point as a society where masculinity can be just as scary as femininity. the masculinity in this movie isn't even built up to be noble. it's built up to be exploitative. isn't that what we've been saying this whole time? the patriarchy hurts EVERYONE? but showcasing that it hurts everyone suddenly isn't leftist? huh??
that post has to go out of its way to miss the point of the military metaphor and good god does it irk me. oh no fucking wonder its focused on men; the draft, which the drawing for the walkers on the walk is based on, is a REQUIREMENT FOR MEN. YES THERE ARE WOMEN SOLDIERS, BUT WOMEN ARE NOT REQUIRED TO BE DRAFTED. MEN ARE. this doesn't make men stronger or women weaker or anything, the draft regardless of its circumstances is unfair to everyone, and ohhhh my god this shit annoys me so bad
media is allowed to have themes about manhood and masculinity. ESPECIALLY since this movie goes out of its way to NOT glorify those themes. the long walk isn't about how much men suffer, the long walk is about how patriarchy makes people suffer, INCLUDING MEN (since people often seem to forget that). it's so important that this movie is allowed to spread the message of how the patriarchy harms all parties involved, but any victimization of men gets shot down as being apologetic and un-feminist. its such bullshit
