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DEAR READER
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@paulsendrake-blog
Margaret Bourke-White working atop Chrysler Building, 1934, Oscar Graubner
Marianne Breslauer, 1930
Dennis Stock by Andreas Feininger, 1951
Sally Mann, 1974
Legit. I love reading about her. She is amazing. Great outlook on life.
Life.
If these walls keep closing, at the speed I'm going; I'll never get closure. I have changed my ways, and became a man, I will never look back again. Everyday without you, is a day without me. I've never been the same since the day you said we will never be. I am scared to admit what I've lost will never be found. But truth be told, what she has now will never come around to be what we could have been. By Drake Paulsen
Its you.
Watching you break down only brings me to tears. I listen to you vent about no one caring. Your blinded by the drops of Jupiter falling to your skin. Losing you to your broken heart is my only fear. By Drake Paulsen
Im losing it.
When I die , no need to say; I know that day will also be the last time you smile. I still love you, even after I'm six feet in the ground. I will haunt the thought of your happiness until you feel the pain that brought me to just a memory. I hope when you look in her room, you see my reflection in her beautiful eyes. When she realizes what you have taken from her will be the day you die.
I realized
I realized today, When it rains it pours. Digging through broken Memories to find something To adore. I think about the one Person I need, and that’s me. I realized today, My heart has never been broken. Without the pain I’ve felt and the Words I’ve spoken. Without the tears I’ve cried, or the feelings that have died. I wouldn’t be that memory of me. I realized today, My bad choices are what lead me to Me. Without me I would never know the person I want to be. In order to move on, you have to become strong. By Drake Paulsen @paulsendrake
I just want..
I want to run away from here, but my heart will always remember the hate that I fear. I used to be strong, now the only constant in my life is falling tears. I want to wake up from this horrible dream, then I remember when I fell asleep it was all the same. I would pray to a god that everyone believes in, but its hard to pray when you cant agree on the way of the world and how nobody can see how hurt someone really can be. I am to the point that I sit alone with only my thoughts. My thoughts are to the point of controlling my every move.I fight to stay alive. I am tired of dreaming, I am ready to go.
-Drake Paulsen
Coolin (Taken with instagram)
True. (Taken with instagram)
Dreams.
My pen runs so deep on this paper, only cuts are from sore crying eyes. Never wish to die, only reachable dreams come true. No matter what you been through. It's easy to run, not when your running from what you do. Trying is suicide when you try to fly.
By Drake Paulsen
@paulsendrake
Ramble.
It is hard to hide the feelings that I have for you inside.
In our dream I am a King only because you are my Queen.
I will dance to your heart beat, as long as you follow my feet.
When I first looked into your eyes I knew I would never die.
You could leave me now and I would never forget this bliss.
Reminisce
by Drake Paulsen
Truth is never found
When you have found someone perfect you realize its you. No one can see what’s behind the wall of fictional lies. Life is easier with a clear mind. Ill keep love aside until the end of time.
by Drake Paulsen
If the sun shined when it rained, life would never be the same. If time started ticing backwards, I would live in fear of memories with out the times we shared. I used to run from broken pieces , now I want the world to see us.
-Drake Paulsen
Nervous.
I fly like a beautiful dove with clipped wings. Just one touch feeled with lust could turn to love. With you I bloom like a rose in deep winter. Being scared has pushed me to warmth.
by Drake Paulsen
Rain man
I am the happiest when the moon is the brightest. I love when the rain brings peace to my evil brain. When the clock turns 12am the devil sets me free. Having something to believe in makes me all I can be. I am the rain man, the all seeing eye. I am selling my soul to never see the sun again. Its 3am in morning and I can still hear your heart screaming for me. I will never turn back, this is my life.
-Drake paulsen
David Thurman.
A few years back a man named David Thurman lived in our house. He grew up in this house. When me and Daniel moved in his name was all over the walls, written in blood. Our house is in a bad area, so we didn't think to much into it. After a while we started hearing names yelled out at night, and things being thrown while me and Daniel were sitting on the couch. We called the land lord and she would not speak about it over the phone, so she came right over.
Mrs.Renee arrived just shortly after we called her. Daniel and I immediately rushed her with questions while holding back our tears from the fear of spirits living in our house.
she walked us down to a burn pile that was the size of a house.Renee explained to us that there was a house here in the early 1960's and it was burned down twenty years ago when David Thurman went physio and killed his neighbors because he was on drugs. As me and Daniel stand there in shock, Renee started tearing up because she can tell that we want to know more.
The family that was killed had two kids, a dog and a cat. They were just an average sad family who had nothing more in life than each other, their last name was Miller. A group of people who did nothing but love each other, Mr.Miller had no job,Mrs.Miller was a school bus driver for Social Circle High School. Little Austin was the youngest child, he never wanted anything he knew his parents couldn't afford. Kyle just turned 17, he was always in trouble in school so he dropped out. His parents knew he was on drugs but they were scared to ask him for fear of losing him completely.
The night of the murder everyone was home except rebel Kyle, he was out selling cocaine to his friends. Mrs. Miller was helping Austin with his homework while Mr.Miller prepared dinner. The family hears the dog barking which was strange because the dog was very old, needless to say he never barked. The dad went to open the door right as they hear a gunshot and a cry from the dog. David rushed inside and beat Mr. Miller to the pulp, Grabbed Mrs. Miller and Austin and tied them up, all three in a circle in the living room.
David started to explain the reason for his madness. he stated that their son owes him money for cocaine and pills. The reason Kyle wasn't home because he had tricked him into meeting somewhere so he could kill him. Thurman had taped the murder of Kyle and made his family watch it while he loaded his pistol. After the family watched the tape. The dad was beat so bad that he could barley watch, Mrs.Miller and Austin had puked on them self's while watching their loved one get murdered right in front of them.
David was done playing games, the pistol was loaded. He started with the mother, shot her in the heart, laid Austin on top of her so she could still watch him die; he shot one bullet and it went through both of their heads. He picked the father up and asked him "Do you still love your son after he caused the the death of your family" Mr. Miller replied back by saying "yes, i will always love him!". Another round went off into Mr. millers head.
After killing the entire Miller family, he ran to his house. He started cutting himself. David knew the police was coming for him. Thurman loaded the gun one last time, after loading the pistol he wrote is name on the wall with blood.
Mr. David Thurman ended his life with his on actions right before the police showed up. The house he shot himself in is now the house we live in. The town of Social Circle has learned to never speak of this massacre. Now me and Daniel live in his old house, and we share it with the spirit of David Thurman.
The reason I am still here! My beautiful baby, Ella.
Confused love..
I want to see you leave.
with out you I cant breath
I watch as you die.
your love is a lie
With your tears I will Survive
your pain brings me alive
I hate to see you hurt
With a smile on my face I will divert
Never again will I love
I will always wear your heart
Death is the prettiest art
With you I will Thrive
My only wish is to die
-Drake Paulsen
