Closer to the sun

My name is Ryan. I'm 18. I was kidnapped from my home on St. Simon's Island, Georgia.

[littleredkenzie]

There was so much going on when they finally stepped outside. More cars and people than Kenzie had ever seen in her entire life. She had to force herself to focus on what Ryan was saying and even then, she could barely hear her. “I- I don’t know… I need time to think,” she said, hopefully loud enough for Ryan to hear. 

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan nodded and lead Kenzie through the crowd until they finally reached the shop that Ryan had been talking about.  "Here we are" she said as she grabbed the door and opened it for Kenzie before following her inside.  Ryan instantly clung to Kenzie's side once they were inside.  "Just fyi, if the girl at the register says anything to you, just ignore her" Ryan said, shooting the girl on the other side of the shop a quick glance before steering Kenzie towards the clothes.

[littleredkenzie]

Kenzie nodded and tried to make herself understand what Ryan had just told her. But even still, it was hard to accept everything about the situation. She followed beside her fiance until they stopped at the door to meet a man standing by it. She smiled as Ryan talked with him and actually found it quite adorable how they two talked. She could tell the two had known each other for a long time. “I don’t doubt that for a second,” Kenzie said with a smile as the left the building. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Jack.” She gave a small wave before continuing with Ryan. 

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan grabbed Kenzie's hand as they stepped out onto the busy sidewalk.  "So is there anywhere in New York you want to see?  You know, do the touristy stuff?  after we get you some clothes of course" Ryan said as they walked along with the crowd.  She knew Kenzie didn't want to spend the entire day wearing her dad's old clothes.  Between the cars honking their horns, construction going on just down the block, and people yelling over the noise, everything was very loud and though Ryan didn't really mind all of the noise, she knew Kenzie probably wasn't all that fond of it.

[littleredkenzie]

Kenzie followed along beside Ryan until they were at the elevator again. She did as she was told and pressed the button for the ground floor. She couldn’t hep but chuckle at how Ryan was trying hard to make this work. “Yes it freaks me out. How are we not falling right now?” She looked at Ryan with a sight smile on her face. 

[peace-love-ryan]

"I don't know the exact mechanics of how these things work but they are attached to steel cables and they lift this into the air without killing us" Ryan said, trying her best to explain how the elevator worked.  They finally reached the ground floor and Ryan took Kenzie's hand and lead her through the lobby and to the front door of the building where the door man awaited them.  The door man smiled and greeted Ryan with a hug before looking to Kenzie.  "Oh, uh this is Jack.  He's been the door man here practically my entire life" She said smiling at the old man in front of them.  "This is Kenzie, my fiance" Ryan said introducing her to the man.  "Fiance?  Well I believe congratulations are in order" He said smiling brightly at the two of them.  "I've watched this one grow up.  Always getting herself into a bit of trouble" Jack said as he opened the door for them.

[littleredkenzie]

"Thank you," she said quietly. Kenzie knew this would be a lot of work and would take some time, but Ryan was worth it. She lost her once, she didn’t want to lose her again. "Right, okay," she watched as Ryan walked away to get dressed before going to pull on her shoes. She wasn’t exactly sure what to expect. She had never gone clothes shopping and she knew it was going to be very confusing. 

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan grabbed her keys and stuffed them into her pocket before sliding on her shoes.  She grabbed her wallet from the dresser and waited for Kenzie to slide on her shoes before moving the door.  "There are a few shops just a few blocks away so we can just walk there" She said as she locked the door and pressed the button for the elevator.  When it arrived, Ryan stepped inside and looked at Kenzie.  "Press the button with a 'G' on it.  That'll take us to the ground floor" She said, trying to explain how an elevator worked.  "Do the elevators freak you out?  Because one of my old baby sitters was terrified of them and we'd have to walk up and down twenty eight flights of stairs every time we left."

[littleredkenzie]

Kenzie wrapped her own arms around Ryan. Her hand rubbed the back of the girl’s head to sooth her. “I don’t want to lose you either. It’s just a lot to take in…I love you and I want to be here with you. I want you. But I need time to adjust.” Kenzie pulled away some so she could place a kiss on Ryan’s lips. 

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan moved her arms to Kenzie's neck and leaned into the kiss.  "I'll do better, I promise.  I love you" She said, leaning her head against Kenzie's shoulder.  Losing Kenzie was Ryan's biggest fear and even mentioning it was enough to turn her into an emotional mess.  After a few moments though, Ryan managed to pull herself together and looked at the clock on the wall behind them.  "We should probably get going soon.  We need to find you some clothes" She said, reluctantly pulling herself away from Kenzie to get herself dressed.  She walked over to the dresser in her room and pulled out a pair of skinny jeans and an old AC/DC t-shirt and changed.

[littleredkenzie]

Kenzie paused for a moment just to look at Ryan. “You thought it was so strange and weird that I knew nothing of sex. You laughed about it. But it wasn’t my fault that I grew up the way that I did. Then you explained it to me. You explained everything to me. You answered all my questions. We went slow. We even had a list of things I wanted to try.” Kenzie crossed the room and gripped onto Ryan’s hips, keeping their bodies close. “This is like that but worse. You need to go slow. You need to explain things to me instead of just leading the way as if I know what it all is. I need to adjust.” She leaned down and pressed her lips to Ryan’s forehead. “You need to slow down if you want me to stay.” The last part came out in a quiet broken voice. Because if she was honest, she was already on the verge of giving up and going back to where things were familiar. 

[peace-love-ryan]

At the thought of losing Kenzie, Ryan felt a sharp pain in her chest.  She wrapped her arms around Kenzie and held onto her tightly.  "I know I haven't been the best since we got here and I'm sorry.  I'm so sorry.  I don't want to lose you, Kenz.  I'm sorry, I'll slow down.  Just...Just don't leave" Ryan said tightening her grip around Kenzie.  She had been fighting so hard to get Kenzie back for so long and here she was on the verge of losing her after the first night.  

[littleredkenzie]

Kenzie was almost shocked that Ryan actually questioned the awkwardness. But she didn’t want to lie and tell her that everything was okay. “It’s a lot to take in, love,” she started. “I mean- maybe if we were somewhere else, but we’re in the biggest city in America. I’m from a bloody farm. I don’t even know what half the things here are. And you keep forgetting that I’m not from here. You just- you need to slow down!” Kenzie sighed and crossed her arms in front of her chest. “Do you remember when you gave me the sex talk?”

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan leaned against the door frame and sighed as she crossed her arms over her chest to keep herself from fidgeting with her hands.  She listened to Kenzie and she knew that she was guilty of moving too fast but she wasn't exactly sure how to go about it without treating kenzie like a child.  "Yes, I remember" She said quietly as she thought back to that night.

[littleredkenzie]

Silence was never an issue for Kenzie and Ryan. They always had something to say and even when they didn’t, it was never awkward. But for the first time in their life together, Kenzie felt awkward being with the other girl. Of course she knew that it was just how everything had changed so fast. She needed to adjust and get used to it before she could enjoy being with Ryan. “Thanks,” she said as she took the shorts from her. She pulled them on and pulled her hair up into a pony tail before looking back at Ryan. 

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan felt even more anxious and awkward now and she didn't know why.  It was never like this between them before.  "You're welcome" She said quietly looking down at her hands she nervously fidgeted her fingers.  Finally, Ryan couldn't handle the awkwardness any longer. "Why does this feel so awkward now?" She said looking up Kenzie.  "I don't like feeling like this with you."

[littleredkenzie]

"Good morning," she said in a quiet voice as she walked into the kitchen more. At Ryan’s comment, Kenzie looked down at herself. She should have at least thought to have packed a few changed of clothes. But everything was so crazy the previous night that she didn’t even consider this happening. "Right okay," she sat down next to Ryan and started to eat the food in front of her. 

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan ate in silence, not really sure of what to say.  She knew Kenzie wasn't very comfortable here but it was the only place they could hide out for a few days.  Once she finished eating, Ryan walked into her dad's room and pulled out a pair of his running shorts.  Her dad was taller than she was so these at least these wouldn't look completely ridiculous on Kenzie.  "Here.  These should fit you alright until we can get you some proper clothes" She said walking back into the kitchen.

[littleredkenzie]

Kenzie must have been exhausted because she didn’t hear the noises outside or even feel when Ryan left her. But as she started to drift out of her sleep, the city sounds were too much for her. She was suddenly aware that she was no longer home and had to remind herself why. She reluctantly got out of the warm bed to find a large t-shirt set out for her. She didn’t even mind that it just barely covered her butt. With weary legs, Kenzie left the room and followed the smell of food to the kitchen. “Babe?”

[peace-love-ryan]

Hearing Kenzie behind her, Ryan turned and looked over her shoulder as she flipped the last of the pancakes onto a plate.  "Good morning, gorgeous" She said with a smile as she placed everything on the bar.  "I made breakfast.  Pancakes and freshly squeezed orange juice."  Ryan grabbed a glass of juice and took a sip as she took in Kenzie's appearance.  "Not that I mind the view but we'll go and get you some clothes that actually fit today" She said as she walked over to Kenzie and kissed her.  "Come sit down and eat before it gets cold" She said pulling out a chair for her and sitting down beside her.

[littleredkenzie]

Kenzie paid no mind to Ryan moving her hand. She was used to the other girl correcting her and fixing her mistakes that she learned to not question them anymore. Instead she just pressed herself more against Ryan. “I love you too,” she said quietly before closing her eyes.

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan woke up the next morning the loud sounds of the city coming from the sidewalk below them.  She could hear cars honking, construction workings banging away at whatever they were working on.  She always liked New York but she could never live there.  It was much too confining for her.  She looked over at Kenzie who was still sleeping and leaned over and kissed her cheek before getting up and sliding on a t-shirt and a pair of panties laid out one her dads shirts for Kenzie before going into the kitchen to make breakfast.

[littleredkenzie]

"Don’t make fun of me, you’re too little and I have no clothes." Kenzie did as she was told, pulled the towel off her head and tossed it aside before getting under the covers with Ryan. Her arms found the girl’s waist and pulled their bodies together. One of her hands automatically moved to hold Ryan’s breast in her old clueless ways of not knowing what things were too sexual or not. 

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan smiled as she moved closer to Kenzie and easily curled into her side.  Feeling Kenzie's hand on her breast, Ryan drew in a quick, sharp breath.  She knew that Kenzie wasn't really in any sort of state for sexual advances so Ryan tried to ignore it but her mind wouldn't let it go.  Grabbing Kenzie's hand, Ryan moved it further onto her side and smiled as she kissed her cheek.  "I love you" she whispered as she relaxed in Kenzie's arms.

[littleredkenzie]

"Okay," Kenzie got up and walked back to Ryan’s room. She looked around for a second and still couldn’t believe how different everything was. She walked to the dresser and opened a drawer looking for something to wear. It took a minute of her staring at the drawer for her to finally realize that nothing Ryan owned would even fit her. Instead, she wrapped her hair in the towel and climbed onto the bed, not wanting to get under the covers, both from exhaustion and not wanting to mess them up. 

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan finished showering and eventually made her way into her bed room to see Kenzie laying naked on the bed.  She laughed and walked to the next room and grabbed a few t-shirts of her dad's and brought them over and set them on top of the dresser.  Ryan walked over to the bed and pulled back the covers on her side of the bed.  "Get under the covers at least.  You'll freeze like that" She said softly as she dropped her towel onto the floor and climbed onto the bed.

[littleredkenzie]

Moving her arms around to hold Ryan’s lower back, Kenzie looked at her as she spoke. “Four kids, two and two. And one will be Irish,” she said with a nod. She knew there was still much for her to learn and she knew that the next 24 hours would be the hardest, but she had to keep looking at the big picture. “You can finish showering, I think…I think I should sleep for a bit…and calm down.”

[peace-love-ryan]

"Of course one will be Irish" Ryan said smiling.  She knew Kenzie was going to have a rough time adjusting to her new life.  The girl had just left her family and moved to a new country so Ryan knew it wasn't easy on her.  "Okay, babe.  Go get some sleep" She said as she kissed Kenzie quickly.  "I'll be out in just a few minutes" She said as she stood up and walked back over to the shower and got in.

[littleredkenzie]

Kenzie unwrapped herself and pulled the towel close to her face as if it was a baby blanket that could protect her. “I don’t want to live like this.” Kenzie looked up at Ryan. “When we get a house, I want a small one. I don’t want it to be clean, I want to clean it. I want- I want a home.”

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan moved to sit down in Kenzie's lap.  She brought her hands up to Kenzie's face and moved the towel out of her way so she could see Kenzie clearly.  "Then that's what we'll have.  We will get a small house out in the country and have our own lives away from all of this.  I don't want or need any of this.  I want you and Aednat and our small house." She said as she pressed her lips to Kenzie's forehead.  "And eventually some kids" She added with a small smile.

[littleredkenzie]

Kenzie looked down at Ryan as she tried to sooth her. She couldn’t help but laugh but it came out as the laugh people make when they’re trying not to cry. “You look like my mum. Small lady trying to sooth her grown kids.” Kenzie forced a smile before pulling away from Ryan and stepping out of the shower. She found a towel and wrapped it around her body before sitting down on the lid of the toilet. “You probably think I’m crazy. But this is a lot to take in, Ryan. I feel- I feel like I don’t belong in a place this nice and fancy.”

[peace-love-ryan]

Ryan shut off the water and followed behind Kenzie, wrapping herself in a towel and leaned on the counter beside her.  "I don't think you're crazy, Kenz.  I know this is....very different than what you are used to" She said looking down at her own feet.  "I don't even like all of this.  That's why I traveled so much before we were at the mansion.  All of this, this isn't me.  This is my parents" Ryan said looking around them at the large bathroom.

[littleredkenzie]

"Is that what it’s called? Why would I ever need to be in one? I never left the farm. When I did, I was at the house. I’ve never even been in a building this high before." Kenzie took a deep breath in and tried her best to relax. She ran her hands through her own hair before looking back down at Ryan. 

[peace-love-ryan]

This was such a common concept that it had never even crossed Ryan's mind that maybe it was new for Kenzie.  "Yeah, you're right.  I guess I didn't see any tall buildings there now that I think about it" She said.  Ryan could tell Kenzie was nervous and she ran her hands up and down the girl's back.  "Calm down, babe.  You know I'll help you with anything" She said soothingly, looking up at Kenzie.