I think about daisy far too often in my day to day life because now I always respond “I know you have hands ___, use them” whenever someone misses group chat shenanigans
Kaitlyn Chen is the perfect person to miss shenanigans too
THIS IS MAKING MY MF DAYYYY WDYM YOU QUOTE MY JOKE IN YOUR GROUP CHAT I LOVE THIS
synopsis: wedding bells are ringing, but will both brides make it down the aisle?
tags: pazzi!wedding, angst, suggestive language
part two:
Azzi only makes it a few steps before a hand clamps around her arm, hard enough to stop her mid-stride. She whirls around and finds herself staring into Dijonai’s furious brown eyes.
“Don’t you dare take another step, Fudd.” Nai’s voice isn’t loud, but it’s sharp enough to slice through Azzi’s panic.
“Let me go,” Azzi pleads, her voice cracking in desperation. “Please, Nai, I need to get out of here.”
“Oh, hell no!” Dijonai hisses, grip tightening. “Girl are you trippin? You’re really going to do this to her?”
The disappointment in her eyes hits harder than the fingers digging into her arm. Ever since Azzi was drafted to the Lynx, Nai has been there for her. She always believed in her, defended her, and trusted her. Right now, it feels like all of that is slipping away.
“I have to go,” Azzi whispers, frantic. “Please don’t make a scene.”
Nai doesn’t budge, just scoffs at the idea she’s the one making a scene. “Do you love her?”
The question is simple and the answer is immediate.
“With my whole heart.”
“But that’s not the problem, is it?” Nai murmurs, because she knows there was always more to it.
Azzi looks down, shoulders curling inward. She’s got no fucking spine today so it makes sense she can’t even hold her body upright.
“I thought I could handle this, but I’m just… I’m not ready.” Her voice spirals faster, frantic thoughts trampling each other. “And the truth is, I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready.”
Nai’s expression softens, but it’s all heartbreak. “First and foremost, and romantic feelings aside, what is Paige to you?”
“My best friend,” Azzi answers simply. Paige has been her best friend since she was 18.
“Then don’t you think you owe your best friend a conversation?”
The words land hard, and Azzi feels her chest collapse in on itself. Thinking about Paige’s face when she realizes Azzi isn’t going to be walking down the aisle… it’s unbearable.
“She’ll hate me,” Azzi whispers, wiping tears with the back of her hand. Her makeup smears, but she doesn’t care. She’s not planning on anyone seeing her anyway.
“And you don’t think she’ll hate you more if she’s standing out there and you never show up?” Nai’s tone is laced with anger now. “Do you know how embarrassed she’ll be?”
Azzi squeezes her eyes shut. “What would I even say?” she asks, barely audible.
“Just be honest,” Nai says gently, like she’s talking to a wounded animal she’s trying not to scare away. “Whatever it is you’re feeling, she deserves to hear it from you.”
Honest.
The irony isn’t lost on her.
If only it were that simple.
But Nai won’t let her run, and somewhere, deep down inside, Azzi knows she’s right.
“Alright.” The word is barely a breath, defeat and sadness and hurt muddled together.
She turns and heads back. On her way down the hallway, she passes a massive window and freezes. Outside, the wedding is already coming alive.
When Paige mentioned that she wanted to get married at the summer lake house in Minnesota, the one tucked away on a private three acres with a stunning view, Azzi thought it was perfect.
A white runner stretches from the wooden back porch to the arch that sits in front of the lake, soft and simple and unmistakably Paige. Blue and purple flowers climb the wood, the exact shades Azzi remembered from those magazines last summer—the ones Paige pretended to hate but spent hours looking through.
Guests are settling into rows of white chairs. Their UConn girls are crowded together on the left, laughing loudly enough for Azzi to hear through the glass. Paige’s hometown friends and an eclectic mix of WNBA players that have become like family to them chatter on the right. Her own parents, Tim and Katie, stand off to the side, talking warmly with Paige’s. She can only imagine what her brothers are going to get up to with Drew in their fancy tailored suits today.
A pang hits deep. This isn’t just Paige she’s hurting. It’s everyone.
Things will never be the same after this.
Never.
The thought is horrifyingly suffocating.
She catches her reflection in the glass and winces. Tear tracks, mascara smudged, eyes swollen, rumpled dress. There’s no way she can face Paige like this, looking like a sad, pathetic raccoon. Honestly, that’s kind of what she feels like. Maybe she should just crawl into a sewer somewhere and die.
A burst of laughter echoes down the hall—Paige’s laughter—and Azzi’s stomach drops so fast she sways. Normally that sound is her favorite thing. Right now it feels like a knife twisting in her chest.
The clock behind her ticks loudly, a reminder that time has officially run out. If she’s going to do this, it has to be now.
Azzi inhales, shaky and thin, then scrubs at her cheeks, squinting, trying to repair what she can. Deciding it's as good as its going to get, she turns and walks toward the other bridal suite where Paige is getting ready, with whom she’s dubbed ‘the boys,’ but is really just any of the attendants not wearing a dress.
She’s inches from the door. Her hand lifts to knock when someone yanks her backward.
“Don’t you dare.”
Azzi spins, startled, and comes face-to-face with Nika. She looks like she’s five seconds from committing a crime. A crime that involves murdering Azzi without a second thought. One that a jury would probably let her get away with once they heard her compelling motive.
Fuck premeditation.
“Nika, you don’t know—”
“Oh, I know exactly what you’re about to do.” Nika’s grip is vice-like, even tighter than Dijonai’s. “And you’re not doing it. She doesn’t deserve this.”
Nika has always been protective of Paige, but this is different. This is feral. This is over my dead fucking body energy and part of Azzi understands it. Paige has always been Nika’s person, twins with separate sets of parents and all that.
“Nika, please,” Azzi begs, desperation painting every feature of her tear-stained face.
“You can’t do this,” Nika hisses.
Azzi’s mind spins. Nai pulling her one way, Nika blocking the other. Both right. Both wrong. Both fighting for Paige, which is ironic because Paige has always been the other half of Azzi’s heart, but here she is torpedoing their lives.
She’s seconds from collapsing under the weight of it all when the door swings open behind her.
“Yeah, I’ll go check that everything is ready!” comes Paige’s voice, calling over her shoulder to someone in the room. It’s bright, and so fucking cheery, which only shoves the knife deeper into Azzi’s chest.
Then Paige turns around.
She walks straight into Azzi’s chest and freezes. Her smile falls instantly, beautiful face draining of color.
“Azzi what are you doing out here?” she breathes, eyes locked on the tear-streaked mess of her face and rumpled dress. “Az… what’s wrong?”
Her voice is full of concern. Not anger or suspicion. Instead it's just raw, familiar love and concern.
other anon inspired me to reread always the bridesmaid, never the bride and WOAH. i remember loving it the first time, but something about this second time really got me.
genuinely so emotionally devastating, i felt it crawling in my chest. there’s so many different aspects here. the way you captured the experience of unrequited queer love and all the complexities that come with that… no words.
something i didn’t remember from my first read was the sequence where paige is reminiscing on experiences he wasn’t there for. “no one else in this room knew. knew paige and azzi, sixteen and in bed facing each other in the gray light of dawn. azzi drawing her fingertip down the bridge of paige’s nose.” stab me in the heart. feeling yourself get left behind by a friend because of their relationship is a different type of mourning in and of itself.
ugh what a treat. thank you for writing this!
i've been rereading and rereading this ask since you sent it! thank you so so much. i always appreciate hearing lines people resonated with but especially for that one because i feel like it has the most evocative ones. this was so lovely to receive, and i appreciate it so much <3
hi buffy, i’m curious as to why you asked for no requests on your master list !! is this because you have lots of upcoming stories already? love your writing so much btw 😊😊😊😊😊❤️
good question!
yes, i do have a lot of ideas for stories coming up! this is also a creative outlet for me (since i work in spreadsheets and with numbers all day) and i just wouldn’t get the same out of it if someone was telling me what to write. half of the enjoyment comes from getting all the crazy ideas in my head down on paper.
what form of media do you, personally, find the most thought provoking?
of course a valid case can be argued for everything. but do you yourself draw the most information from a song, painting, piece of fiction, non fiction writing, a movie, a dance, or something else?
sorry, I don’t think I worded this well. or maybe your answer can be a specific thing from each category. just what brings out emotions everytime. maybe a song that makes you cry each time you listen? I’m not sure what I’m trying to say with this ask :/
ooh what a good question! i find song lyrics to be the most efficient at evoking emotion from me. a single line from a song could move me to tears fr...
but i love how multifaceted tv shows can be. i guess movies too but i don't really watch movies. the writing, the acting, the set, the music, the camerawork, the editing, the lighting, everything has to come together and so seamlessly that you don't even realize they're all there. that's really special to me!
here are some song lyrics that have been especially moving me these days:
i only exist in the moments you're talking to me -- you're still everything
a walk in the park, the sky when it's blue. it could've been easy, but it's never like that with you -- nobody's girl
he kissed my lips, i taste your mouth -- thinking of you
you may not be an angel, but you are my girl -- best guess
reread always the bridesmaid 🙂↔️🙂↔️🙂↔️ it gets me everytime even though I know the ending
beautiful writing though it makes me emotional lol
are Paige and Azzi both narps in this universe?
this means soooooooooo much to me you don't even know. you DON'T EVEN KNOW. thank you thank you thank you thank you. maybe the only thing on my repertoire i am wholly proud of.
no, paige is a basketball player, and i didn't make a decision about azzi, but i think it works with her as a basketball player as well!
there’s so much here, so going to try and keep it concise
i definitely think i have a combination of both going on, in which they feed off each other. i don’t know that i’ve ever been satisfied in my life, there’s always more to do, more to be, etc. i find myself looking at others through the same lens and wondering why they aren’t doing more, caring more, wanting more. it’s obviously projection on my part and i keep it to myself, but Yikes. not a great way to live
also, your advice on conservatives stopped me dead in my tracks. i grew up in an ultra conservative town and spent my entire time there and then some in a constant argument. i know it’s very unproductive, so will attempt your advice (i literally go back this thursday, so great timing)
thank u for following up!!
i really admire your motivation to change that thought process. it's so easy to get stuck in a loop of judgment and self criticism. and we're lowkey taught that doing that makes us good people. but i don't even think good people and bad people exist. we're all just people.
i have some questions for you to ask yourself if you're willing. how is that feeling of never being satisfied helping you? what experiences or feelings is it protecting you from? what does it want for you? and is there another way you might be able to pursue that same goal?
you don't have to (and probably shouldn't) answer these directly to me. just some food for thought i guess
good luck going back. i know it can be really hard. something that helps me is remembering that people will never be convinced to change their minds until they feel like they've been truly heard and understood. hatred is just a protector of pain. once they feel like you've seen and understood their pain, that hatred is free to sit down. but then again, it's not your job or obligation to do that. you are free to coexist with them however you want to. you're welcome to reach out in my dms if you need a place to vent.
how many chapters until azzi’s pov? I love this story sooo bad
Thank you for this ask.
I don't love when people ask how many chapters until Azzi's POV. I typically just delete the question, but I realized I don't think I've ever said that, so just sharing it here.
I do really appreciate that you are enjoying this story.
