hey there! i'm lynnie! i write! sometimes! i'm mostly offline!
୨୧ about me!
➛a twenty-year-old who goes by she/her!
➛free time spent on writing, kpop, kdramas, anime, manga, and gaming!
➛currently into love and deepspace!
➛will always be into sakadays, gokurakugai, alnst, jjk, csm, hxh, kny, aot, hq!!!, mp100, jjba, and more!
୨୧ masterlists!
➛love and deepspace!
୨୧ guidelines!
➛eighteen and over only! no underage/ageless blogs!
➛no hateful interactions!
➛copying or translating my writing is NOT allowed!
➛comments and reblogs are always appreciated!
➛no requests yet! asks are always open for conversations though!
୨୧ miscellaneous!
➛currently listening to: boynextdoor!
➛currently reading: existentialism is a humanism by jean paul sartre!
➛currently hoping that: my banner or my layout does not get copied!
most importantly, i am ONLY ON TUMBLR as of now! if you see my writing anywhere else, THAT IS NOT ME!
you roll your eyes, trying to fight the smile already creeping up on your face.
"there she is," rafayel chuckles. "i was starting to think you were mad at me."
"i am." you pretend to glare. "what kind of idiot drives 70 in a 40?"
rafayel raises a eyebrow.
"were you stalking me?"
"you shared your location with me, dumbass."
"you didn't have to look at it."
"i'm your girlfriend?!"
"ah, so you admit it."
"what?" you frown. "what does that have to do with-"
"since you admit to being my girlfriend, that means you don't get to be mad at your darling, smart, talented, did i mention handsome boyfriend who drove extra fast just to see you."
your jaw drops. this guy.
"what? too mesmerized by me that you have nothing to say? i know, cutie. i have that effect on people- hey wait!"
you're already entering your home, ready to slam the door in your stupid boyfriend's face.
"cutieeee, come on, i'm sorry. i won't do it again."
his starry yet rosy eyes peek through the door gap, pleading like a hurt puppy.
you sigh. you were always a sucker for those eyes.
"promise?" you ask, cautiously opening the door. "i love you, raf, but you can't speed like that. it's dangerous, and i would much rather you be safe, even if it means seeing you a little later."
"promise," he assures, extending his pinky out.
you hesitate before wrapping your pinky around it.
"the next time you drive like that, you won't be getting one foot inside, you hear me?"
"so harsh, cutie," rafayel pouts. "and even after i brought you flowers and chocolates and plushies and-"
"oh, so if i look inside the car right now, it won't be all mushed together because of your driving, right?"
"..."
"thought so."
the esteemed painter from whitesand bay never drove above the speed limit again.
hi!! i saw you get an ask about syluseslittlebomb and i want to say that she's back on tumblr and ao3 if you haven't found her yet as @/littlebommetje on tumblr and infiltraitorN7 on ao3
inspired by xavier's recent story (wish they spent more time in the desert)
you know the desert can get cold at night.
not from personal experience but from what you were taught as a kid.
"oh, wouldn't the desert also be hot at night?"
"nope! it gets super cold because of the lack of humidity."
"oooo, so cool, teacher. tell us more!"
you didn't participate much in class since you preferred to keep to yourself. but it's surprising you remember this discussion in the first place.
maybe because the desert you are sitting in right now is pleasantly warm.
maybe because you aren't alone for the first time in a while.
maybe because xavier is here with you.
you turn to your partner. you're not surprised he's already looking at you.
"what do you think?"
you blink in confusion. xavier chuckles.
"do you like it here?"
"oh," you flush. "yeah, it's nice. i just didn't think it would be this warm."
xavier furrows his brows.
"warm? i'm actually cold right now."
now it's your turn to furrow your brows.
"are you okay? do you want my jacket?"
you peel off a sleeve, missing the mischievous look in xavier's eyes.
"actually," he puts your sleeve back on. "can i have something else?"
"what?"
xavier wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close, your back against his chest.
"this," he chirps.
now you're positive xavier is wrong, because the desert got even warmer, heat rising to your cheeks and warmth blooming in your chest. you debate between leaning back or tipping forward, unsure of what to do with all this affection.
it's not like you hate it. you could never hate the stars xavier brings with him. you could never hate him. but if learning that the desert is cold at night isn't part of your personal experience (it is now), getting hurt sure is.
xavier knows this. you don't have to tell him. he can see it. the way you freeze whenever he pulls you in. the way you avert your gaze whenever he smiles at you. the way you take ten steps back whenever you sense that something might be wrong.
he doesn't blame you. not at all. but what he would give to see you smile at him, to see you smile at all.
the stars, the moon, the whole universe, everything that he has witnessed in his thousands of years of living, they wouldn't even begin to scratch the surface of what he is willing to offer.
but the universe itself works in funny ways. so when xavier finds himself back at the place he saved decades ago, he doesn't hesitate to show you why he decided to save it.
yes, the outdoor markets are worth viewing. the velvet sash the merchant had recommended suited you perfectly, the red bringing out your eyes and the design complementing your figure. yes, pottery shop is worth visiting. you have no idea how happy he was when you sculpted a bunny for him.
but nothing compares to the desert at night. not only is it silent, offering its visitors refuge from the world's busy chatter and worries, but it is also filled with warmth, making it the perfect place to rest on the sand and await the stars' arrival.
xavier chuckles, burrowing himself into your shoulder. he's not cold. how can he be when he is eager to please you with an unforgettable view? how can he be when he is with you?
"the stars will be out soon," he murmurs.
you hum, slowly placing your hands on top of his.
you're not sure if you're doing this right. you're not sure if this is right. you're not new to relationships but you're new to one as colossal yet tender as this.
you had always admired xavier. skills that surpass his team, an appetite that soars the charts, sleep that knows no bounds, and most importantly, warmth that doesn't discriminate. you've seen how he treats the people he saves, almost as if he's making up for something or someone he couldn't protect in the past.
starlight, that's what you thought. a star so bright you couldn't help but wonder if you could ever begin to shine as brightly as he. or rather, if that light would ever shine down on you.
so imagine your surprise when xavier professes his feelings for you one day, on top of his balcony, a little tipsy but sincere nonetheless.
at first, you thought this was a cruel joke. but that thought disappeared faster than a shooting star, since you know xavier. that look in his eye, the one that holds thousands of galaxies, all of them pointing in one direction; you.
you'd be a fool to reject them. thus, you said yes.
you don't regret your decision. spending your days with xavier is like being a planet viewed by a telescope that gazes up at you and only you every night. he is everything you could ever ask for.
but because it is everything you could ask for, you are frightened. severely, utterly, and truly frightened.
it was too good to be true, after all. every one of your previous relationships, be it platonic, familial, or romantic, has hurt you in the sense that you were the satellite, always orbiting, always choosing first, always loving more.
as a result, you chose to remain stagnant, afraid that you would freeze due to a planet's indifference once more.
yes, xavier has established that he is different. his light, his warmth, his gravitational force, they all reel you in, rescuing you from your predetermined track and bringing you into his orbit, where he will spin with you for as long as you will let him.
so what's stopping you? what's stopping you from letting him? what's stopping you from letting him love you?
"look," xavier calls your name. "stars."
you look up, gasping as you take in the view.
stars indeed, but not just several. countless. countless stars, each of them glimmering so brightly that their deep indigo canvas shed its gloom away into a royal azure. what's better is that they were everywhere. no matter how much you turned your head, much to xavier's delight, the tiny speckles always greeted you with joy. how long has it been since you saw this? how long has it been since you felt this? the feeling of being welcomed by unconditional, everlasting love. the assurance that no matter where you go, these stars will always be there, shining their light down on you so that even in times where you cannot see, even when you fall out of orbit, even when you freeze, you will always have a starlight to return to.
you think you know why xavier brought you here. and when a platinum streak scratches the surface of the sky, you can't help but call out.
"xavier, look, a shooting star!"
xavier looks, but not at what is happening up there, but what is happening in his arms.
you, in all your inhibitions, finally basking in what he has to offer. finally basking in his embrace, finally basking in him.
how long he had waited for this? how long he had waited for you to approach his galaxy? how long he had waited for you to enter his orbit?
although xavier doesn't repeat himself often, he does so as he turns you around, his eyes resembling the crescent moon.
"do you like it here, my star?"
you finally smile, your eyes twinkling like starlight.
I just want to ask, are you an angel sent from heaven? Because THANK YOU!! For reblonging those sylus fics made by syluslittebombs. I've been scouring the internet looking for them! I was so sad that they deactivate their account. I wonder what happened to them, I hope they're doing alright. Thank you again. :>> 👏✨✨
Remind people in Tumblr to reblog for the sake of everyone's sanity and their time. Now, my search has ended.
GAHHH! thank u for ur kind words. sorry i got to this late, i haven't been writing as much as i want to... yeah i loved their fics so so so so MUCH. they were so good and i liked the dynamic they captured between mc snd sylus. i'm not too sure what happened to them but i think i saw them on ao3? could be the same username but i'm not too sure either. i'm glad you were able to find their fics. hope you have a good day :)
the date ends when the stars barely made its appearance in the sky.
you and xavier walk hand-in-hand towards your apartment, a contented smile on your face after xavier took you out for dinner.
“i had a really fun time tonight, xav.” you say as the two of you stand in front of your door. you stepped in, the doorframe between you and xavier as you pulled your hand away from him.
“i’m glad.” xavier nods once, a small smile on his face as he sees the shy expression on your face.
from the way you fidgeted shyly to the way you nervously looked around, making sure that no one was loitering in the hallway. xavier knew where this was going; this was what he had been dreaming of for weeks.
on the other hand, you mentally took a deep breath. this was it. you were going to give him your first kiss.
you took one step closer to him, fighting off the nerves as you wrap your arms around his neck, he meets you halfway as your eyes shut close.
you lean upwards, puckering slightly as you blindly seek his lips before you recoiled in shock. a gasp escaping your lips.
what graced your lips was too soft. too wet. it couldn’t be his lips.
your eyes opened to see xavier’s pink tongue peeking out of his mouth.
xavier opens his eyes, a mixture of confusion and hurt flashes in his eyes as he steps away, tongue back inside his mouth.
“i’m sor—”
“no, i’m sorry!” you hurriedly say, hiding your face against his chest, giggling nervously. “i wasn’t expecting tongue for my first kiss,” you explained.
xavier’s face flushes in embarrassment. he got ahead of himself.
“oh.”
you pull away, facing him. your face was burning at this point. xavier slowly cups your face in his hands, making you stare right at his piercing eyes that reflected want. you could only assume yours mirrored his as you leaned in to his touch.
“may i? no tongue. i promise.” he jokes slightly, to which you huffed out a giggle.
you give him a nod, the two of you close your eyes at the same time, and lean in.
xavier’s lips were soft, smooth, and tasted like the dessert the two of you had.
he takes the lead, to which you were grateful, as you clumsily follow, lips shyly smacking against his. as a little surprise, he nips the bottom of your lips gently, his lips twitching upwards as a gasp escapes yours.
he pulls away, huffing slightly.
you opened your eyes to see him staring right back at you. his face was slightly pink as his eyes kept darting towards your eyes and your lips.
you pull away, face burning.
“if this is how kissing feels…” you say, wanting to cut the tension with a little joke. “i need to practice how to do it with tongue.”
xavier’s eyes slightly darken, not noticing that the two of you unconsciously entered your apartment, only made aware when your door closes with a quiet shut.
you find yourself in xavier’s space as he leans forward, his voice gentle yet laced with what you could only describe as want. his voice tickles your ear as he softly asks you.
“would you like to practice now?”
note/s: SO i couldn't find the original tweet/post abt this meme being xavmc but i couldn't stop thinking about it so i wrote it 😭
"you can't just kill everyone who annoys me, sylus."
"sure, but i can kill everyone who annoys me, sweetie."
"how did he even annoy you? he's my coworker."
"well, he annoyed you."
you glare at the silver-haired man. he shrugs in return.
"i'm just saying," sylus continues. "you would have one less problem if your coworker was out of the picture."
"that's not how this works," you retort. "just because he disagreed with me doesn't mean he should die."
"disagreed? or disrespected?" he asks.
fuck, he got you there.
"what we are doing right now, sweetie," sylus leans in, "is disagreeing with each other."
you try not to break down under his tender gaze.
"what he did back there," he continues as he brings his hands to your face, his thumbs caressing your cheeks. "was disrespect you."
you sigh, remembering how sylus caught you during a bad time, specifically a time where your coworker was being a dick difficult by harshly shooting down all of your ideas and painting you as an ungrateful person when you tried to speak up.
"look, i'm sorry you had to see that. i didn't expect-"
sylus gently kissing your forehead, leaving you to fight back the tears welling up in your eyes.
"do not ever apologize for something that is not your fault, let alone a person who is nothing but an imbecile."
he brings you into a hug, allowing you to finally relax after who knows how many long nights of staying up in frustration and rotting from this boiling anger in your throat all thanks to your rude (that's sugarcoating it) coworker. before you know it, tears are streaming down your face, staining sylus' signature ruby-streaked coat.
"it's okay, sweetie," the silver-haired man assures. "you've done an incredible job so far, and you will continue to do so. i know it. so for now, just let it all out. i'm here."
with that, you sob, finally letting out everything you've been holding back for the past few months. your family, your job, your friends, all your worries melt away with each tear you shed, allowing you to relish in sylus' embrace.
the man holding you doesn't let go. he doesn't dare dream of doing so. not when the only soul he cherishes in the whole world is weeping in front of him. no, he'll make sure you never have to cry again. he'll start by wringing your coworker by his neck. he'll do the same to everyone who ever dares to cross you.
but when you finish crying and look up at him with your sweet eyes, sylus is reminded that every single one of his moves can only be made with your permission.
and if letting your bastard of a coworker live is something you want, then so be it.
"thank you, sylus. i needed that."
"sweetie, you never have to thank me for anything."
"still," you sniff. "it's the least i could do."
sylus chuckles and pats your head, finding you utterly adorable. it's not long before he gets an idea.
"actually," he says, a smirk growing on his face. "the least you could do is let me kill him."
you groan before going back into his chest, shaking your head repeatedly.
"alright, alright," sylus concedes, wrapping his arms around you once more. "i won't kill him."
For the life of me I can't find my og post so I'm posting this again as my friendly reminder from big sis to YOU:
It's fine to take a break from Tumblr. It's fine to block people you don't vibe with. It's fine to not be a frequent poster. It's also fine not to be a frequent reblogger. It's fine not to read and write every prompt/fic you come across. It's fine not to reply to every comment on your posts.
Use this platform and the fandoms you interact with as you wish.
If at any point interacting with this platform makes you exhausted or burnt out and you start asking yourself "why am I here?", please prioritize yourself first. Reach out to the people you trust in your life to give you the space and emotional support you need to feel like yourself again.
And whether you return is completely up to you. You set the time frame.
You deserve your precious time back. Being an active participant should not be an obligation here. You deserve to prioritize yourself first. It is not a crime to put yourself first.
summary: he would have chased you to the ends of earth if you wanted him to. but he can't, not anymore.
now playing: in your arms - vontmer
cw: angst, hurt/no comfort, implied character death, gn! reader
a/n: this song hit me full force tonight and i was a demon possessed. you read the tags, consider yourself warned :D
It's the weight of you Caleb remembers.
A slow release from the land of fireflies—chasing after sparklers dwindling despite his slight of hand catching the wind, pleading to Josephine to buy one more caramel apple just for you, with you grinning triumphantly as if you didn't just dislodge another baby tooth, cotton candy clouds towering above you, giggling at the weightlessness of childhood.
He blinks, darkness returning.
No longer beside you.
An empty apartment drowning in sheets of stormy static.
The curtains are closed—not open, like you so often do when you visit.
There are no presents under the tree—you insisted you would shop for your presents together, just like you dragged him to the winter market and picked out the biggest pine. He watched you struggle, laughed at your insistence on dragging it to the car with pure manpower. "It's the principle of it! What if you can't use your Evol anymore?" "That won't happen, Pips."
The lights are not on—he watched you create the headboard, slip in the LED strips between the grooves like silent love letters. He wondered when you learned how to build. How to handle a jigsaw safely. How to carve open the slats to his heart with a router and careful, calloused hands. Trained, no longer reckless like the child he knew. And yet you held him tenderly, pressing his hesitant finger to the switch together, "so you aren't alone."
He cried more than he'd like to admit.
No.
Still does.
His breath stutters, reaching for his phone in the dark.
"Hey! Sorry I missed you, I'm probably punching a Wanderer in the face right now. Leave a message after the—".
