The concept of the LaDs men accidentally hurting you with their Evol... hear me out please
TW: I want to emphasize the "accidentally" part. None of these scenarios are meant to be the LaDs men intentionally harming you. Also blame the angst on @zaynezone for her Sylus angst that was meant to be payback for @wetforsylus
Xavier, trying to be helpful, uses his evol to give you more light while you try and work. But, your brain is already on overload and one glance at the light emitting from his hand and you feel the uncomfortable and unwelcome throb of a migraine forming along your temple and behind your eye. The horror on his face when he realizes what he did and immediately jumping to grab your medication and rush you to a dark room for comfort. Muttering repeated apologizes as he just flutters around you, gathering things to ease the pain like a cold compress to press over your eye.
Rafayel, getting a little too daring with his attempts to impress you. Using his evol to toast your marshmallow a little faster, the pretty pinkish-red flames dazzling enough that you barely process it grazing your skin until you instinctively drop the stick you had been holding to shake your hand rapidly. All color would drain from his face, hand grabbing your wrist and dragging it closer to his face. Voice slightly shaken as he asks you if you're okay and if you need first aid, the words tumbling out over each other. It'll end up leaving a scar on the back of your hand, something you truly don't mind but he can't help but feel several emotions when he sees.
Zayne, upset and stressed out about you nearly getting yourself killed on a mission. It had been a close call, closer than others, and it was enough to visibly shake the both of you. You had gotten a bit fed up with his constant coddling after that, finally getting into it with him one night after he declines signing off on you retiring from desk duty and returning to the field. It wasn't until ice nipped at your skin and visibly made you flinch that Zayne realized he had lost control of his emotions. You watch him shut down and close you out, more horrified by his immediate withdrawal than the pain flooding every nerve.
Sylus, panicking during an ambush when you're nearly kidnapped. The rush of movement, the ringing of gunfire as bullets and his evol tear through bone and flesh. You can handle yourself, he knows he doesn't need to be on top of you but he always keeps an eye. It happens so quick he nearly loses his cool. Your yell, the random assailant touching you, dragging you back towards one of the cars they had arrived in. His evol lashes out, ripping the man clean from your body and yanking you towards him in one swift movement. The man is gone before you can blink, turning to Sylus to utter thanks only for him to stare at you with a pained, nearly unreadable expression. Crimson lines of blood well on your skin, his evol had cut you, deep.
Caleb, getting agitated during a disagreement, the bickering had been going on for nearly an hour now. A real disagreement, one that one likely end in you storming away and slamming your door. He sees it coming, sees you huff and puff and suddenly you're not listening to anything else he's saying. You're turning on your heels and making the move to escape. His evol acts before his mind does, weighing you down so quickly that your legs buckle and you hit the floor with a harsh thwack. You can't even utter anything, looking up at him with wide, disbelieving eyes. He could vomit at the sight, his evol releasing immediately as he jumps to check you for injuries.
CONTENT WARNINGS: death, suicide ideation (most prominent in xavier's), read rafayel's 'when light falls' card so his part makes sense, fem reader in rafayel’s, they're super mean to other people here😭, angst, angst & a whooooole lotta angst
NOTE: my debut post to the lads community! i just wanna say i am SO sorry for such a brutal first smau oh my goodness💔 i would also like to apologize if they're a little ooc, i just started playing the game and im still trying to get a feel for the characters 😵💫 i hope you all enjoy this regardless! :')
masterlist
@kamieow 2025. reblogs are greatly appreciated! <3
one of my favorite kinds of non mc angst is when you have stood by the boys through every lifetime, so much so that your presence has become a quiet certainty for them.
they expect you to always be by their side, moving through the world as if your loyalty is as certain as the sunrise.
and whether they are blind to your feelings, consumed in their quest to reunite with mc, or simply incapable of truly seeing you, they’ll never choose you.
still, you remain, tethered to their side through every heartbreak.
but when you find out your cycle of reincarnation is finally ending, you keep it to yourself. is it selfish? perhaps. but your heart is weary, your love is stretched thin, and you know that if your devotion was never returned before, it never will be.
so when you finally slip away—cradled in their arms during a mission, surrendering your soul to the ocean at a seamoon ceremony, or resting among a field of datura flowers—they mourn you. of course they do. tears will fill their eyes as they whisper your name into the silence.
but some part of them knows you’ll come back.
you always do.
they’re certain you’ll return just as you always have, and that soon enough you’ll be smiling beside them again, teasing them like nothings changed.
you always return as yourself—changed in small ways, perhaps, but still marked by the beauty spot beneath your eye or the gentle brown of your gaze.
your face may shift with each timeline, but the faint scar along your arm from protecting him from wanderers or the wound over your heart always remains.
it’s all a quiet testament of your love.
so when the next cycle comes, and they cannot find you in a scattered crowd of villagers, when they don’t sense your presence in a university hallway, when they wait for you to find them in a game of hide and seek on a playground—the one right next to your father’s house—or amongst the last remaining lemurians who reside in verona, they begin to question it.
they start to wonder.
where were you? what’s taking you so long to come back to them?
where is the one who knows them best? the girl who shares every memory, who understands their purpose, who feels their pain more deeply than anyone else?
simply put—
where are you?
but the truth is painfully simple.
you are not here.
not anymore.
your soul is finally at peace, and alongside it, your love.
or maybe, somewhere in the world, you still exist.
maybe you grew up wrapped in the warmth of a loving family. maybe you still remember the warnings of hunters past and steer clear of those forbidden no hunt zones.
maybe you attend college, or perhaps you open a flower shop in a city where no one knows your name.
maybe every night you dream of a life you have never lived, with a man whose face you have never seen.
maybe you are sitting right beside them, by the sea or on a park bench, laughing at a joke you just told, while he absentmindedly takes your hand in his.
and maybe when you wake with tears drying on your cheeks, you’re confused, unable to understand what it all means.
but dreams fade the longer you remain awake, and slowly, you return to your life.
you feed your cat. you take out the trash. you spend a tuesday afternoon tackling a week's worth of laundry.
you live through mundane, ordinary moments.
you meet up with old colleagues for brunch, talking to your mother on the phone while waiting for the next train. you reply to the messages of a man you matched with online and let him take you out for a drink or two, thanking him at the end of the night for the fun you had.
the next day, you pass by a mural painted by a well-known artist from whitesand bay, leaving you so awestruck that you take a quick snapshot to post on your moments page before continuing on your way.
you arrive at akso hospital, stepping into the lobby to find the rest of your family sitting anxiously for news of your niece’s birth. you sit beside them, praying for the time to pass more quickly, absentmindedly reading the framed research credits of a 28-year-old cardiac surgeon hanging on the wall nearby.
and when you return home that night, head stuck in the clouds, swiping at the hundreds of photos you took of your sister's baby girl, someone stops you in the street.
their eyes—sky blue, violet-gold, or cotton-candy—search your face with overwhelming relief, haunted by a grief that feels centuries old.
“i’m so glad i found you again,” they’ll whisper as their arms wrap around you, the embrace tight enough to keep you from pulling away so easily, but gentle enough not to steal your breath.
“i missed you so much. where have you been?”
you freeze, fear rooting you into place as a voice inside urges you to fight, to punch, to kick, to scream—anything to break free from the arms of someone you don’t know.
you tense, and they feel it immediately. they notice your stillness, your lack of recognition, and finally, they let you go, albeit slowly.
their hands settle gently against your shoulders, smiling with a softness you have never seen directed to you, and they ask again:
“where have you been?”
you force yourself backward, taking three deliberate steps to create space between you, your left hand already searching your purse for anything to defend yourself with.
Synopsis: after a scary moment you blurted out words, that you didn't really mean.
Characters: Sylus x Non-MC!reader, Caleb x Non-MC!reader, Rafayel x Non-MC!reader, Zayne x Non-MC!reader, Xavier x Non-MC!reader
Warnings: reader is in danger. I repeat, reader is in danger in all of the parts. Almost dying in Xavier's, Zayne's and Rafayel's parts. Angst, hurt with little comfort (?). Rafayel is lowkey posessive, more than others. Someone is probably ooc. Possibly inaccurate descriptions of medical stuff.
A/N: The request was sitting in my inbox since 24th of april. Haha. Well, real life sucks. Some parts are longer than the others.
Sylus
Something strange was happening in your life.
Every morning when you arrived at work, there were your favorite flowers waiting on your desk, accompanied by a small note wishing you a good day. At first, it had been… cute. Thoughtful, even.
But that feeling didn’t last long.
That same evening, there had been another bouquet. Another note. This one commenting on your day. That was when it started to feel wrong. By the third day, the notes had shifted from observant to unsettling. The anonymous sender began mentioning things they shouldn’t know, small details about your routine, conversations you’d had, people you’d spoken to. By the end of the week, the tone had twisted completely. The sweetness was gone, replaced by something sharp and possessive. One note raged about you talking to your male colleagues. That was when “cute” became “creepy.”
You told yourself it had to be a prank. Something stupid. Someone trying to get a reaction out of you. That explanation felt safer than the alternative.
But the flowers kept coming. Twice a day. Without fail. And the notes only got worse. You considered going to the police. More than once. But every time you thought about it, doubt crept in. There were no direct threats. Nothing concrete. Just… discomfort. Obsession wrapped in pretty paper. You were afraid they wouldn’t take you seriously. For a brief moment, you thought about telling Sylus. But you dismissed that just as quickly.
Yes, you spent time together. Yes, there was something between you. But your relationship wasn’t at the point where the leader of Onychinus would drop everything over anonymous flowers and unsettling notes. At least, that’s what you told yourself.
So you decided to wait it out.
Maybe whoever was doing this would get bored due to your lack of a reaction and stop.
Right now, you were walking down the street with your headphones on, music turned up loud enough to drown out the city noise.
It probably wasn’t the smartest idea to be out this late at night. But you had run out of your favorite juice, and you had never been particularly good at resisting small cravings. A quick stop at the nearest convenience store couldn’t be that dangerous.
Or so you thought.
But as you walked, you couldn’t shake the feeling crawling up your spine. Like you weren’t alone. Every time you turned around, there was no one there. You quickened your pace, but the unease only clung tighter.
You were close to your apartment complex when you made a mistake.
Until then, you had stayed on the well-lit streets, surrounded by passing strangers and the glow of storefronts. But fear clouded your judgment now, and all you wanted was to get home as quickly as possible. To lock yourself inside your apartment and call Sylus. He would be waking up soon, and the thought of hearing his voice felt like the only thing that might calm your nerves.
So you cut through a narrow, dark alleyway to save time.
Your second mistake was leaving your music on.
You barely had time to register the movement before someone grabbed your arm and yanked you backward. Your breath caught. Panic seized you whole, freezing your body in place as your mind screamed at you to fight, to run, to do anything.
Then something black and metallic slammed into your attacker.
Mephisto.
The bird tore into the man with furious precision, claws and beak driving him back until he cursed and let go of you. He staggered, trying to shield his face, and when he turned to flee, Mephisto broke away without pursuit, circling back to you instead. The bird landed on your shoulder and for a second you could’ve sworn he was almost cooing.
A few unsteady steps later, your vision blurred.
As if the world was painted over in red.
And suddenly Mephisto was gone from your shoulder, warm hands wrapping around you. You gasped and thrashed weakly at first, still trapped in the terror of those first few seconds, until a familiar voice brushed against your ear.
“Easy,” Sylus murmured. “It is just me.”
You stilled. Slowly, you looked up, blinking until his face came into focus.
“S-Sylus…”
His expression shifted the moment he saw you clearly. Raw, immediate concern that made something in your chest ache. His hands tightened around you.
There was a brief silence between you. Then his eyes swept over you, searching.
“Are you hurt?” he asked, and for once, there was no smugness in his voice at all.
You swallowed, trying to catch your breath. “I… I don’t think so.”
His jaw flexed. His gaze flicked toward the alley behind you, and something dangerous sharpened in his expression, but when he looked back at you, the edge of his voice had gone quieter, rougher.
“What happened?”
You hesitated. “Someone grabbed me.”
The words changed him.
Not instantly. Sylus rarely reacted in a way anyone else could easily see. But you felt it in the way his hand tightened at your waist, in the way his breath caught just slightly before he forced it steady again.
He lowered his head for a moment, pressing his forehead lightly to your temple.
That tiny gesture nearly undid you.
“You should have called me sooner,” he said, and the softness in it made your throat tighten.
“I was going home,” you murmured. “I just wanted to get inside.”
Sylus stayed silent for a beat too long. Then, in a voice uncharacteristically quiet, he asked, “Did he touch you anywhere else?”
You shook your head.
And then you said it, still trembling, mind still frayed by what happened. The words just slipped out before you could stop them.
“I’m not yours to lose, Sylus.”
He went completely so still that it was frightening. For one suspended moment, there was nothing. Not a word, not a breath. Then his hands shifted, not letting go, never letting go, but changing in a way that made your pulse stumble.
One palm settled more firmly at your waist. The other rose to your cheek, thumb brushing once beneath your eye with devastating tenderness, as though he wanted to wipe away every trace of fear from your face.
When he spoke, his voice was low and uneven, the polished confidence stripped away just enough to reveal how deeply your words had hit him.
“You are right,” he said.
The answer made your chest tighten.
Sylus looked at you like you had struck something fragile in him by accident. Like your words had shaken him in a way he would rather die than admit to anyone else.
“You are not mine to lose,” he repeated softly.
His thumb still moved against your cheek, slow and absent-minded, but his eyes had gone darker.
“You are not an object,” he said, as if he needed to make that clear to both of you. “You are not something I own.”
His hand at your waist tightened, grounding you to him.
“But you are mine to love,” he added, voice roughening at the edges, “and I am not sorry for that. Even if we haven’t defined that thing between us yet.”
The words landed so tenderly they hurt.
You stared at him, shaken all over again, and Sylus’s expression softened just enough to make your heart ache. He leaned in, brushing his nose briefly against your forehead before pressing a slow kiss there, lingering as if the act itself could steady both of you.
When he pulled back, his red eyes were still fixed on you, still full of that same fierce, shaken devotion.
“If anything ever comes near you again,” he said quietly, “you call me immediately.”
His hand slid into your hair, gentle but possessive, anchoring you against him.
“And if you ever think you have to face something like that alone,” he continued, voice dropping lower, “I will remind you exactly how wrong you are.”
He held you a little closer, as if he could keep the world from touching you by force of will alone.
This time, when he spoke again, there was no sharpness left, only certainty.
“You are not mine to lose,” Sylus murmured. “You are mine to keep.”
Caleb
You were on a plane back to Linkon from your short vacation in Goldwood City. The cabin lights had dimmed slightly for landing, and through the window, you could already see the city glowing in the distance.
You pulled out your phone and quickly texted Caleb.
You: Landing soon. See you.
The reply came almost immediately.
Caleb: Got it. Already at the airport. Waiting.
A small smile tugged at your lips as you tucked your phone away and shifted in your seat. The flight attendant’s voice came over the intercom, instructing everyone to fasten their seatbelts. You checked yours one last time and tried to settle in, silently hoping the descent would be over quickly. Your ears always hurt during takeoff and landing, like the pressure was trying to pop your eardrums from the inside. You just wanted it over.
Then…
A deafening BANG.
The entire plane lurched violently.
Your head snapped toward the window just in time to see flames licking out from the engine, thick smoke trailing behind it. Your stomach dropped.
“Brace! Heads down!” a flight attendant shouted.
Your mind lagged behind your body. Your heart slammed against your ribs as you folded forward, hands over your head, just like they’d shown in the safety briefing you never paid attention to.
The aircraft hit the runway hard.
Not a smooth landing, a slam. The impact jolted through your entire body as the wheels screeched against the runway. The plane skidded forward, shuddering violently, metal groaning under stress. Your body snapped forward despite the seatbelt. Your forehead struck the seat in front of you with a dull crack. Pain burst across your vision. Before you could even process it, something heavy came crashing down on your right shoulder. The overhead compartment had burst open and someone’s carry-on slammed into you.
White-hot pain shot up your neck.
Your vision went black for a few seconds.
When awareness returned, it came in fragments.
Alarms blaring. People screaming. The sharp scent of burning fuel. You couldn’t think straight. Your head throbbed, your shoulder burned, and the world tilted at a nauseating angle. Passengers rushed past you, scrambling for the exits. You stayed frozen in your seat. Someone grabbed your arm, steady hands, firm but careful.
“Come on. Move.”
You didn’t recognize the voice. Your legs moved because you were guided, not because you told them to. You stumbled down the aisle, disoriented, barely aware of the emergency slide until you were pushed toward it.
Then you were falling.
Air rushed past you as you slid down, your shoulder screaming in protest.
Strong arms caught you at the bottom.
For a second, everything stilled.
Apples.
That familiar scent cut through the chaos like a lifeline.
You tried to look up, but your vision swam too much to make out his face.
“Colonel,” someone reported nearby, voice sharp and professional. “Evacuation complete. No fatalities.”
And then darkness swallowed you whole.
You woke to bright lights. The sterile smell of antiseptic filled your lungs. You tried to sit up. Your head spun violently, and a sharp pain pierced through your shoulder, forcing a groan from your throat.
“Don’t move.”
The voice was immediate.
“C-Caleb…?” you mumbled, squinting.
“Yes.” He stepped closer, his silhouette coming into focus. “Stay still.”
Everything after that blurred into examinations. Doctors, questions, lights in your eyes. Your injuries were explained to you. Mild concussion, heavy bruising.
Eventually, they left.
And Caleb stayed.
He stood by your bedside, arms crossed, jaw tight, the tension in him barely contained.
“A flock of birds struck the engine on approach,” he said flatly. “Engine failure.” His voice hardened. “They should have stabilized the descent better.”
You frowned weakly. “Caleb…”
“Amateurs,” he continued, venom slipping through. “They had a full empty runway and still hard landed. Sloppy.”
You let out a slow breath, already exhausted. He had been like this since you woke up. Tense, pacing, replaying the incident in his head like he could undo it.
“Caleb, the pilots did what they could,” you said quietly. “No one died. That’s what matters.”
“No,” he snapped.
The word cracked through the room.
“They didn’t,” he continued, voice low and dangerous. “You got hurt.”
Your patience snapped.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not.” His eyes locked onto you, sharp and unyielding. “What if it had been worse? What if I lost you?”
Something in your chest twisted, but irritation flared stronger.
“I’m not yours to lose,” you shot back, teeth gritted. Even if you’ve spent a lot of time together, you haven’t actually defined your relationship yet.
“You’re right,” Caleb said after a long, tense silence, his voice quiet in a way that was somehow worse than shouting. He stepped closer to your bed, close enough that you could feel the heat of him, close enough that his shadow fell over you like a shield.
“You’re not mine to lose,” he repeated, slower this time, his gaze fixed on yours with unsettling intensity. “But you’re mine.”
Your breath caught. Caleb’s jaw clenched once. He looked angry still, but underneath it was something far more dangerous, something raw and shaken and fiercely protective all at once.
“I don’t care if that sounds selfish,” he said, voice roughening at the edges. “I’ve spent too long learning how to hold on to what matters to me. And you…” He stopped, swallowed once, then looked at your shoulder as if the sight of even that small injury offended him personally. “You are what matters.”
His hand came up, hovering for a second before settling carefully against your uninjured side. But the possessiveness in the gesture was unmistakable. Anchoring. Claiming. Reassuring himself that you were still here.
“You don’t get to tell me to be less afraid for you,” he murmured. “Not after this. Not after I saw that plane falling with you on it.”
His thumb brushed once over your arm, almost absentmindedly.
“Next time you fly anywhere,” he said, low and absolute, “you tell me first. I will fly you there and back myself.”
That should have sounded like an overreaction. With Caleb, it sounded like a vow. He leaned down until his forehead rested against yours, his voice dropping. “I’m not asking because I want permission,” he said. “I’m telling you because I am not letting the world take you from me.”
Rafayel
Rafayel was busy attending one of his own exhibitions for a change. Though somehow, despite being surrounded by critics, patrons, and admirers, he still found time to bombard you with dramatic messages about how terribly abandoned he was.
Rafayel: You are so, so cruel.
Rafayel: Left me here to suffer among vultures who don’t understand art.
Rafayel: Thomas says I need to “socialize.” I think that qualifies as psychological torture.
You snorted softly and typed back:
You: Yeah, yeah. I’m cruel. But at least I’m on a luxury cruise while you’re stuck entertaining your admirers.
You sent the message and tucked your phone away with a smile.
Honestly, it felt nice to take a vacation for once. No work. No responsibilities. No chaos. Just the endless ocean stretching around you and the gentle sway of the ship beneath your feet.
If only you knew how quickly the ocean could change.
One moment the sea had been calm and glittering beneath the evening lights of the cruise ship. Waves rolled lazily against the hull while soft music drifted from the upper decks. The air smelled faintly of salt and expensive perfume, warm wind brushing against your skin as you leaned against the railing.
Then the wind shifted.
Cold.
Sharp.
Dark clouds swallowed the horizon at alarming speed, devouring the stars one by one. The cheerful chatter around you faltered. Somewhere nearby nervous laughter broke out as the ship groaned beneath your feet, the deck tilting almost imperceptibly.
Then lightning split the sky.
A deafening crack followed immediately after, thunder so violent it rattled through your bones.
The ocean no longer looked inviting.
It looked alive. Hungry.
Massive waves rose in the distance like moving mountains, their peaks frothing white beneath flashes of lightning. People started rushing inside.
The crew’s calm smiles had vanished completely.
“Please return to your cabins immediately…”
The announcement cut off abruptly as the ship lurched violently sideways.
Screams erupted around you.
You slammed into the railing hard enough to bruise, fingers scrambling desperately for purchase as freezing seawater crashed over the deck. Rain poured from the sky in thick, blinding sheets.
Another, bigger wave hit.
You barely had time to gasp before your feet left the ground entirely. Your hands slipped off the railing and the deck vanished beneath you.
Then the ocean swallowed you whole.
The cold was unbearable. It punched the breath from your lungs instantly as saltwater flooded your mouth and nose. Darkness churned around you violently alongside debris, shattered wood, luggage, broken glass. You couldn’t tell which direction was up anymore. Panic clawed through your chest as you kicked desperately, lungs already burning. When you finally broke the surface, you choked violently, dragging in ragged breaths while monstrous waves tossed you around like you weighed nothing at all.
The cruise ship already looked too far away. Somewhere in the darkness, people screamed. Then even that disappeared beneath the roar of the ocean.
Another wave crashed over your head, dragging you under again. Your limbs already felt heavy from the cold. Rain battered your face every time you surfaced, leaving you gasping and blind.
Then your hand hit something solid.
Wood.
You grabbed it instinctively. A broken piece of debris. Maybe part of the deck. Maybe shattered remains of a lifeboat. Barely large enough to keep you afloat, but enough. You clung to it desperately, nails digging into soaked wood as the current carried you farther and farther away from the wreck.
Away from the lights.
Away from the screams.
Away from everyone.
By the time the storm finally weakened, there was nothing around you except endless black water stretching in every direction beneath a clearing sky.
No ship.
No rescue boats.
No land.
Just you.
Alone.
Floating beneath cold, distant stars.
You didn’t know how long you drifted. Minutes? Hours? Your mind couldn’t tell anymore. The cold had sunk deep into your bones. Your fingers were numb. Every breath hurt.
And slowly, horrifyingly, the truth settled in.
You were going to die here.
Soon your arms would give out. Soon you wouldn’t have the strength to keep holding on. The ocean would pull you under, and no one would ever know where you disappeared to.
Maybe it was desperation.
Maybe delirium.
Maybe simply the final, irrational hope of someone who did not want to die.
But suddenly, through the haze clouding your thoughts, you remembered an old story. Before long voyages, a captain of a ship would offer a few drops of blood to the ocean, asking it for mercy. Asking it to spare the lives aboard and guide them safely home.
Your piece of wreckage was not a ship.
But maybe…
Maybe you could still count as its captain.
Worth a try, wasn’t it?
After all, you didn’t have anything left to lose.
Your trembling fingers fumbled weakly for the sharp edge of splintered wood jutting from the debris. You hissed softly as you pressed your palm to it, opening your skin just enough for blood to appear. Dark crimson dripped from your hand into the endless black water below.
Please.
The thought was barely coherent anymore.
Please let me go home.
Don’t claim my life.
Your blood vanished beneath the waves.
Somewhere back in Linkon, Rafayel was bored out of his mind, forced to mingle with patrons and admirers who seemed far more interested in his looks than his art. He smiled when he had to, said the right things when expected, and tried not to look as annoyed as he felt.
But every few minutes, his attention drifted back to his phone.
He kept checking for new texts from you.
Nothing.
Again and again, he unlocked the screen, expecting at least a single message, some teasing reply, anything. Instead, there was only silence. The longer it went on, the more irritated he became. Oh, he would absolutely guilt-trip you over this later. He would make you listen to every dramatic complaint, every wounded sigh, every accusation that you had abandoned him to suffer among people who did not appreciate him properly.
And yet somewhere at the back of his mind, unease began to settle. Because yes, he knew he could be a little much. He knew he was dramatic, clingy, and prone to exaggeration. But you never ignored his messages before. Not like this.
His smile thinned.
He checked his phone again. Still nothing. The patrons around him blurred into meaningless noise as a faint tension crept into his chest. It was annoying, irrational even, but he could not quite shake the feeling that something was off. Rafayel stared at the darkened screen for a moment longer, his fingers tightening around the phone.
And then everything changed.
He heard ocean waves, and the sound was getting louder. Rafayel even looked around, wondering whether the background music had been changed to the sound of the sea and whether something had happened to the volume. But no, everyone else seemed exactly the same, as though they had not heard the ocean growing louder with each passing second. Soon the roar of the waves drowned out every other sound. Rafayel felt as if he were running out of oxygen. His chest tightened painfully. Barely acknowledging the people around him, he excused himself and slipped away through the back exit, hoping the fresh air would help.
It did not.
The ocean kept roaring in his ears. But now it sounded… like begging. Like the ocean was trying to tell him something.
Blood.
Suddenly he tasted seawater and blood in his mouth. And at that moment something powerful and ancient began rising from somewhere deep inside him. Something he usually tried to hold back. Something that now was tearing its way to freedom, drawn by blood and ancient ritual, long forgotten by the people.
Without thinking, Rafayel ran. Towards the ocean, that kept calling its god. Towards you, who unknowingly invoked something that would change your relationship forever.
By the time Rafayel reached the shoreline, he was breathing hard, his usually blue-pink eyes glowing deep blue beneath the moonlight. The waves crashed violently against the shore as though the ocean itself had become restless waiting for him.
For a brief moment, Rafayel just stood there, breathless. Then scales shimmered across his skin, glowing markings bloomed on his body as he stepped into the water. And the ocean recognized him instantly, welcoming him home.
You asked the sea for mercy. And the Sea God answered your prayer.
You were floating in the ocean, barely able to hold on to the piece of wood beneath you. Your vision was blurring, consciousness slipping away little by little. Then your fingers grew too weak to keep their grip on the soaked, cold wood, and they slipped. Fear flared through your mind. But your body was too heavy, too cold, too exhausted to react as you slowly sank toward the dark water below and the horrifying, painful death that waited there.
Before you could fully go under, before the waves could close over your head, strong arms wrapped around you and pulled you up, keeping your upper body above the water. You squinted, trying to make out your savior, but your vision refused to cooperate. All you could see were glowing deep blue eyes.
“Idiot,” you heard a familiar voice, though you could not remember who it belonged to.
Then you felt yourself pressed against something warm. You clung to that heat, your consciousness slipping further away. The last thing you remembered was the feel of warm lips against yours as you were pulled fully into the water.
When you opened your eyes again, you were lying in a hospital bed, the soft hum of medical equipment filling the room.
Slowly, carefully, you turned your head. Rafayel was sitting quietly beside your bed, sketching something in his sketchbook. As if feeling your gaze, he raised his head and stared at you. Then he slowly stood up and walked toward your bed. Uncharacteristically quiet, he reached out and gently brushed the locks of hair away from your forehead. Then he leaned down and pressed his forehead against yours.
“I could’ve lost you,” he murmured quietly.
“I’m not yours to lose,” you croaked, your voice hoarse. Internally you were bracing yourself for the dramatic meltdown of an offended artist, but to your surprise Rafayel just smiled and straightened, ignoring your words.
“Here.” He reached for the glass of water and helped you drink it.
Then he got up and walked toward the door. You looked at him, trying to place his reaction. That was not the Rafayel you knew. Not the one who would have thrown himself dramatically across your hospital bed and demanded twenty apologies and endless affection.
“I’m not yours to lose,” you repeated, surprising even yourself.
Quietly, so quietly that you could barely make out the words, Rafayel muttered under his breath, “Then you shouldn’t have bound yourself to me.”
“What was that?” you asked, looking at him suspiciously.
“Nothing. I’ll go tell the doctors that you’re awake.”
You watched suspiciously as Rafayel exited your room. But you did not see the small smile on his face. Your words had already lost their meaning. Because the second your blood spilled into the ocean, a god had accepted your offering. And now he will not let go.
Zayne
After a hard day at work, you decided to treat yourself to something sweet. You went into the nearest café and ordered a milkshake and a dessert topped with fresh strawberries.
You dug in the second the sweet treat was placed on your table.
As you chewed on a strawberry, enjoying the sweet juicy burst, a feeling that something was wrong crept up your spine. You swallowed, than paused, the sensation turning strange. An odd tingling spreading across your mouth. You cleared your throat and washed it down with a big gulp of milkshake.
But it didn’t go away.
As you kept eating, the tingling only worsened. The back of your throat and the roof of your mouth began to itch. You tried to swallow, but it became difficult, as if your throat were filling with wet cotton.
Dread settled in.
You pushed the plate away, but it was already too late. Your breath hitched, then broke into a violent cough. Your hands flew to your throat, nails scraping at your skin as you tried desperately to draw air in.
The sounds around you became muffled, distant. Your vision narrowed. Your legs felt like jelly. You reached for the table to steady yourself, but your grip slipped as you began sliding down the chair.
I can’t breathe!
One final panicked thought shot through your mind before everything went black.
You woke with a gasp, instantly disoriented. Panic flared as you jerked upright, only for pain to pierce through your arm. You winced, letting out a small, involuntary whimper as you looked down. A needle sat in your arm, attached to an IV drip. Blood had pooled slightly around the insertion point. Nausea hit instantly.
“Careful.”
A familiar voice cut through the haze. Hands entered your line of sight, steady and precise, adjusting the IV before you could pull away. Your head snapped aside immediately, unable to watch.
Zayne was beside your bed.
Calm. Composed. Focused.
When he finished, he looked at you with an unreadable expression.
“Wh… what happened?” you asked quietly.
“Severe allergic reaction to strawberries,” he said flatly. “You went into anaphylactic shock. Paramedics arrived just in time.”
You swallowed, carefully easing back against the pillows, exhaustion settling into your bones like lead. There was a lingering fear. Your own body had nearly killed you over something so small.
“I’ve never had an allergy before,” you mumbled.
“Wrong.”
Zayne’s voice sharpened slightly.
“It is documented in your medical file that you had an allergic reaction in childhood.”
“It was minor,” you tried to argue weakly. “And it never happened again. I thought it was a mistake.”
Zayne exhaled through his nose and rubbed the bridge of his glasses.
“It still happened. Allergies, however minor, must be taken seriously. You could have died.”
His gaze flicked to you.
“And I could have lost you.”
The words landed heavily and something in you bristled at that. The words escaped your mouth before they registered in your mind.
“I’m not yours to lose.”
The air in the room seemed to drop several degrees.
Zayne looked at you for a long moment. Then he adjusted his glasses slowly.
“You are my patient,” he said evenly. “And I would prefer you remain alive rather than arrive in my care in critical condition.”
He turned without another word and left the room. The door closed softly behind him.
Zayne walked down the corridor in silence until he reached his office. Then he stopped and exhaled. He loosened his tie slightly, removed his glasses, and sat down at his desk, but he didn’t open the file waiting there.
Instead, he pressed his elbows to the surface and held his head in his hands.
Of course you weren’t his.
He knew that. He had always known that whatever this was, whatever fragile, undefined thing had been building between you, had no name yet. Neither of you had the courage to address it. Something more than friendship.
The temperature in the room began to drop. The glass on his desk fogged at the edges. Papers stiffened as frost crept along their corners. The faint hum of the air system deepened as ice began forming along the vents.
Zayne didn’t notice.
A thin layer of frost spread outward from him, covering everything in ice. It crawled in delicate branching patterns up the furniture. Ice began growing from the ceiling; all plants now were locked in an ice prison. Ice crystals were growing all around him.
“Dr. Zayne.”
A hand grabbed his shoulder.
Greyson.
Zayne blinked once, slowly lifting his head.
“What happened here?” Greyson asked carefully.
Zayne stared at the frozen mess for a long moment. He didn’t even notice when his Evol started to act up.
“I was… thinking.”
Greyson’s eyes flicked to the ice covering the room.
“Well,” he said, far too amused, “at least the transplant wing will be thrilled. They have a big amount of unmelting ice now.”
Zayne pinched the bridge of his nose, already feeling a headache creeping in.
And somewhere beneath the exhaustion, beneath the cold still clinging to his skin, one thought remained stubbornly intact. You were alive.
Xavier
You ran faster than you ever had in your life. Your lungs burned. Your legs ached so badly it felt like they might give out beneath you at any moment, and your vision had already begun to blur at the edges. You barely knew where you were going anymore. You only knew one thing.
You could not stop.
You must not stop.
Because you were not running for your own life. You were running to save the children you had left behind.
It had started as an ordinary day. Just a simple, normal day.
Then the defense systems failed.
Metaflux fluctuations spiked. Wanderers appeared. Panic spread almost instantly, and in the confusion, you had found yourself in a local park with a group of children and nowhere to hide. There had only been one Wanderer in the area, but that had still been one too many. There had been nowhere to hide. No shelter. No time.
So you made a choice.
And now you were running.
You could hear it behind you, the heavy predatory sound of pursuit, the ground shaking under each terrible step. You knew you could not outrun it forever. You had no training. No Evol. No chance, really. Small, ordinary you against something made to kill.
You just needed to keep it away from the children for as long as possible.
Your breaths came out ragged, uneven. Your chest ached like it was being crushed from the inside. Every muscle in your body protested, threatening to give out.
You were slowing down.
You knew it.
And so did it.
The sound behind you grew louder.
Closer.
You didn’t even realize what you had tripped on before your body hit the ground hard. Pain exploded through your knees and palms as skin scraped against rough pavement. The impact knocked the air from your lungs. You barely had time to roll before the creature behind you let out a roar and lunged forward.
A small, broken sound slipped from your throat. Not quite a sob. Not quite a scream. Something in between. You didn’t turn around. You didn’t need to.
You knew.
This was it.
You had already accepted your fate the moment you started running. There had never really been a way out, had there?
Your only regret was that you had not been brave enough to tell Xavier…
A blinding flash of light tore through your vision. The roar cut off mid-sound and something heavy slammed into the ground with a force that shook the air.
Silence followed. Your ears rang. You blinked against the brightness, stunned, dazed, your whole body shaking. Then the light faded and you turned your head.
Your breath caught.
Xavier stood there. His usually calm, almost distant composure was gone. His hair was slightly disheveled, his breathing uneven. And his eyes. His eyes looked almost black. The blue you knew so well had been swallowed whole by something stormy and wild, something so intense it made your chest tighten.
For a second, neither of you moved.
Then Xavier took one step toward you. And another. And then whatever had been holding him upright seemed to fail. He dropped to his knees directly in front of you, not gracefully, not carefully, but as if the strength had gone out of him the second he saw you on the ground. His forehead came to rest against your shoulder.
Your breath caught. He did not say your name. He did not ask if you were hurt. He simply stayed there, motionless, like he had been bracing himself for a different ending and had not yet recovered from finding you alive.
Your hands hovered for a second before instinct took over. You wrapped your arms around him, your fingers curling into the fabric of his clothes, holding on.
For a few moments, neither of you spoke. The silence felt strange, thick with everything he was not saying. Your heart was still pounding from the chase, from the fear, from the shock of seeing him arrive in time. Then, quietly, his voice broke the silence.
“I could’ve lost you.”
The words were barely more than a whisper, rough and unsteady in a way you had never heard from him before. Something twisted in your chest. Maybe it was the adrenaline still flooding your veins. Maybe it was the lingering fear, the exhaustion, the confusion that always came with him, his distance, his silence, the way you could never quite tell what you meant to him.
“I’m not yours to lose.”
The moment the words left your mouth, you felt it. The shift. Xavier went completely still. Like something inside him had completely stopped. Your breath hitched. Slowly, so slowly it almost hurt to watch, he lifted his head from your shoulder. His hands, which had been gripping your clothes, loosened. Not letting go, but no longer holding on as tightly. He didn’t move away, but something had changed. And for a second, you wished he had shouted. Anything would have been easier than this.
Because there was no anger in his expression. Just something… hollow.
“I see.”
The words were soft. Too soft. Xavier looked at you like he was trying to understand something fundamental, something important. Like he had just been handed a truth he didn’t know how to hold.
“I didn’t mean…” you started, but your voice faltered under the weight of his gaze.
“You’re right,” he said quietly, cutting you off.
That was worse. So much worse. Because he wasn’t arguing. He wasn’t pushing back. He was accepting it.
“You’re not mine,” he continued, his tone calm, almost clinical, but his eyes betrayed him. There was something fractured there. Something struggling to stay contained. “I don’t have any claim over you.”
Your chest tightened painfully. That wasn’t what you meant.
“Xavier…”
“But I almost watched you die.” He exhaled slowly, like he was forcing himself to stay composed.
“I felt it,” he continued, quieter now. “Fear. The moment I realized you were in danger.” His fingers curled slightly against his knee. “And I was too far.”
Your throat went dry.
“I got here as fast as I could,” he said. “And it still almost wasn’t enough.”
Silence stretched between you.
“Do you know what that feels like?” His gaze didn’t leave yours.
“It’s not about ownership,” he said. “It’s not about whether you’re ‘mine.’”
His voice faltered just for a second.
“It’s about… knowing that there is someone in this world whose absence would...” He stopped and swallowed. Then tried again.
“…would leave nothing behind worth staying for.”
Your heart stuttered.
“That’s what I meant,” he finished quietly. “When I said I could’ve lost you.”
You hadn’t expected him to sound like this.
Xavier closed his eyes briefly, like he was gathering himself, pulling all of that emotion back under control where it belonged. When he opened them again, the storm was still there, but quieter now. Contained.
“I won’t say it again,” he said, almost gently. “If it makes you uncomfortable.”
That hurt more than it should have.
He finally pulled back just slightly, enough to give you space, but not enough to truly distance himself. Not enough to let you go completely.
“But don’t mistake what I feel,” he added, voice low. “For something as simple as possession.”
His hand lifted, hesitating for just a moment before it settled carefully against your arm. Not gripping. Not trapping. Just there, grounding.
“I don’t need you to be mine,” he said softly.
A pause.
“I just need you to stay alive.” And somehow, that felt far more intense than anything else he could have said.
boyfriend!xavier likes to text you when he wakes up. he likes to text you before he goes to sleep. he has a whole plethora of silly cartoon ‘goodnight’ stickers and ‘good morning’ stickers saved on his phone that he sends you regardless of the time, so dont be surprised to receive a message at 10:30 am from xavier, bidding you a good night of sleep with an attatched gif of a koala hanging on a half moon.
boyfriend!xavier who’s chat history with you is practically his digital diary. he likes to send you photos of the most random things he encounters. sometimes he provides very little context, but you don’t suppose it needs any. sometimes he sneds you selfies that are so close up that his bangs are in the way of the camera. he also likes to send you photos of your dates with him as if you weren’t present for them, or if it had been ages since the outing occurred.
xavi: (image) we looked so cute back then…
[name]: babe that was twenty minutes ago. you just dropped me off.
boyfriend!xavier who takes every tiktok you send him very seriously. sometimes a bit too seriously. when you sent him one of those ‘missing my gf so i baked her into a cookie’ videos, he sent you back an actual photo of a burnt tray of suspiciously you-shaped gingerbreads. theres a small fire in the background. before you could even reply, too aghast to comment, he started munching on one.
‘it’s a bit salty…’
’XAVIER YOU’RE CHEWING ON MOUTHFULS OF ASH!’
boyfriend!xavier who actually prefers to be next to you and watch you in your sleep, in turn to sleeping himself. not in a creepy way, but he can’t resist but admire your sleeping face, so calm, so relaxed…he cant help but to reach out a finger and squish your cheeks while you’re smushed up against him anyway. he cuddles you closer and buries his face in your neck, pulling the duvet covers over you both, like an arctic hare burrowing into the snow.
boyfriend!xavier who’s favourite sound to fall asleep to is either your voice (if you’re awake and willing) or the sounds of your shared home. he finds the sounds of water bubbling to a boil especially soothing, although you tease him that he only likes it because it sounds like a steaming bowl of beef hot pot, his favourite. he doesn’t admit that really, the sound of you flicking on the kettle, you turning on the tap, you boiling the water, you pouring the steaming liquid out, you rattling the teacup…is what affirms him of your presence. he likes such mundane, ordinary sounds because it assures him that you’re there, you’re by him, and you’re safe.
boyfriend!xavier who’s favourite form of messaging from you is either big paragraphs of text, or long chains of voice recordings. they feel so intimate to him, and he loves to read or listen to your ramblings. there’s still so much he wants to learn from you. plus, there’s nothing he loves more than the sound of your voice.
and of course, xavier responds to every single one of your texts and calls and voicemails, but why this time—
[sorry. the number you’ve dialed has been disconnected]
oh. right.
you’ve been dead for well over a year now. he knew the phone company would shut down your service eventually.
xavier rubs the sleep from his eyes. ever since your absence, your home has grown to become so empty. there are dishes undone in the sink from the last meal you ever made him. windows coated with dust. beds unmade. what the morgue sent him, still on the table. he couldn’t bear to do anything about it.
and now…a phone that xavier can no longer call you and leave you tearful voicemails on. a number that he can’t text you day and night to, with messages that he’ll know you can’t respond to but there are so many things he aches to tell you. a service he can no longer call to whisper to you that ‘i miss you’.
xavier throws his phone into the overflowing sink.
Summary: It was your anniversary with Xavier. One year of togetherness. But what if he does not show up when you expect him to? What if he was spending it with MC?Pairing: Non MC! Reader x Xavier
Note: MC in this fic goes by the name Lina (my name... so if you are angry, you can be angry at me :3). This oneshot was based on this request. I will write this for the other LADS men too. Also I don't think any of these men would ever be the type to actually willlingly forget it. So I had to adapt the request a bit.
If you like my work, you can buy me a Ko-fi. (Tips are not expected, so don't feel pressured to do so.)
Rafayel version | Zayne version | Sylus Version | Caleb Version
The apartment was quiet, save for the soft hum of the air purifier and the faint sizzle from the stove. You had spent the last few hours transforming the space into something that, hopefully, would make Xavier happy in ways he rarely showed. The apartment smelled faintly of seared meat and spices, the candles you’d placed on the shelves giving off a warm, golden glow. It was all laid out with care, every little detail a reflection of the countless evenings you’d spent with Xavier.
You had spent the better part of the day preparing everything, starting with the food. His favorites—marinated steak cooked just so, tender roast chicken, spiced lamb skewers. You had even dug out the recipes he’d once mentioned in passing, adding little twists you knew he’d appreciate: a touch of smoked paprika here, a hint of rosemary there. You hummed quietly while you worked, the anticipation bubbling through you like soda shaken too hard.
It was your first anniversary. One whole year with him—Xavier, the calm, seemingly indifferent man who could walk through a hail of bullets without flinching, but somehow made your heart race just by sitting across from you and fumbling awkwardly with a card game. You had wanted to surprise him. You’d spent weeks planning it in secret, brushing off your own bubbling excitement whenever he had been around.
He was supposed to return from a mission today. One of the many that took him away. It had been a week since Xavier had left for the mission. A week of quiet apartment nights, of imagining the precise moment he’d return, of pacing around the small space like a nervous conductor waiting for the orchestra to begin.
You set out his favorite dishes, meticulously prepared: slow-roasted pork with a glaze of honey and soy, seared steaks with garlic butter, a delicate tray of fried appetizers, and bread fresh from the oven. You had even arranged a small dessert table—dark chocolate truffles and a pie you had baked yourself, slightly burnt at the edges, but still perfect in your eyes.
The gifts were lined up on the low table by the couch. There was the old Game Boy you’d found at an auction online with cartridges of games you know he would love. and alongside it, you’d created two custom consoles—one for each of you, with personalized skins and engraved initials. You remembered how he had once teased you for being “ridiculous with gifts,” and you smiled, knowing how much he liked them.
Every surface in the apartment bore evidence of your effort. The coffee table was cleared to make room for snacks, candles flickered in strategic corners, and a playlist of songs you knew he liked hummed softly in the background. You even left the lights dim, imagining him stepping through the door to find the whole place transformed into a small, cozy sanctuary just for the two of you.
The clock ticked louder than usual. Every creak in the apartment made your heart leap. You checked the door—again. The key in your hand felt heavier by the second, as though it carried all your anticipation. Maybe he’d teleport in. Maybe he’d just turn the knob, smile at you, and sigh that quiet, boyish “I’m here” that made your chest flutter.
And you waited.
You glanced at the clock for the hundredth time, checking the minute hand like it could somehow speed things along. The apartment smelled like home—or at least your version of it. Minutes stretched into hours.
At first, it was excitement. You paced lightly, smoothing out the wrinkles on the tablecloth, adjusting a stack of napkins, straightening the Game Boy next to the custom console. Then it shifted—slowly, imperceptibly—to anxiousness. The apartment suddenly felt too large, the silence too loud. Every creak of the floorboards, every faint thump from the city outside, made you startle. Had something happened on the mission? Was he… hurt? You knew it was normal for him to be MIA. And yet… you had hoped, for today, he might break the pattern, just for this one night.
Your hands trembled slightly as you picked up your phone.
You tried to shake off the thought and called him.
No answer.
You tried again, slower this time, your thumb hovering over the call button as if hesitation could change the result. Still, silence.
Panic began to prick at the edges of your composure.
You reached for your phone with a shaky hand. His line went straight to voicemail. Twice. Three times. Your stomach twisted.
You sighed, trying to force calm into your voice, and called Jeremiah. The line clicked alive, and his familiar, grounding presence filled your ears almost immediately.
“Hey,”
“Hey, Jeremiah...? Have you heard from Xavier?”
“Not really…Everything okay?”
You exhaled shakily, biting your lip. “I… I just wanted to check if Xavier got back. I…I…”
“What’s wrong? You sound tense…”
You took another shaky breath, the tension of hours finally spilling out. “I… I set everything up. Food, gifts… the apartment. And he’s not here. I can’t reach him.”
“Hey, hey,” Jeremiah soothed, as if he could hear the storm raging in your chest. “Okay, slow down. Maybe he’s just running late. You’re safe at home, right?”
“Yes…” you muttered, your hands gripping the edge of the counter. “I… I cooked his favorite meals. I set up the Game Boy and the consoles… I just wanted to surprise him…”
“Sounds like someone’s been waiting too long,” Jeremiah hummed softly. “He’s probably fine. Missions get complicated, you know that. Don’t let your mind spiral. But hey… maybe you could come over here for a cup of tea. Calm your nerves a little? It’ll be okay.”
You hesitated, your thumb hovering over the screen. Then, reluctantly, you nodded to yourself. “Okay… maybe I should.”
“Yeah,” Jeremiah agreed. “I’ll make some tea, you can sit, breathe. It’ll be fine. He’s Xavier. He’s… thorough, but he’ll be back. I’ll make sure you’re settled, and maybe we can try reaching him together.”
You hesitated, glancing around the apartment. The sight of the carefully arranged candles, the plates laid out with precision, the little console you’d set up—all of it made your chest ache. “Yeah… maybe I need that,” you admitted.
Jeremiah’s laugh was warm. “I’ll make it worth your while. And we can give him a hard time together.”
You moved through the apartment with shaky hands, extinguishing the candles one by one. The soft golden flames flickered in protest before dying out, leaving the room dim and quiet, the shadows retreating to the corners. The last thing you wanted was to cause a fire in his apartment. The quiet of the apartment, the scent of roasted meat and chocolate lingering in the air, had shifted from comforting to suffocating. Every minute without him felt like the walls themselves were closing in.
You began packing some of the food into a tote, neatly packing the containers. It was the least you could do for troubling Jeremiah with your anxious overthinking, your panicked call and now your company. A part of you felt guilty for burdening anyone, even him. You arranged the dishes carefully, the heavy aroma of garlic, honey, and roasting meat clinging to the containers.
You added a folded cloth napkin on top and then, almost unconsciously, slid Xavier’s keys into the bag.
Standing in the center of the apartment, you exhaled slowly. Every part of you—the worry, the anger, the quiet ache of disappointment—was coiled tight in your chest. Finally, trembling fingers hovered over your phone. You pressed Xavier’s number.
Your heart thudded violently as it rang.
“Hello?”
The voice that answered was low, husky with sleep, and it made your chest unclench slightly despite yourself. That soft, almost-boyish tone had always been a balm for your nerves. Relief and worry tangled together, knotting in your stomach.
“Xavier,” you whispered, trying to keep your voice steady, “where are you?”
For a moment, there was silence, save for faint sounds behind him. Then a soft, familiar voice cut through.
“…Where do you want to eat tonight?”
Lina.
Your stomach dropped. Your heart skipped, a harsh, twisting ache settling in your chest.
“Uh—okay, hold on, I am on a call…” Xavier murmured, more focused now, his voice steadying, prioritizing your line.
You swallowed hard, trying not to let the sharp sting of jealousy and hurt overwhelm you. But every word, every small movement in the background made your chest tighten.
“Xavier,” you whispered, trying to anchor yourself, “I… I need to know. Where are you?”
“Uh… I’m just checking out of the hotel after my mission.” he murmured, still sleepy.
Your mind raced. Mission complete? Already? Your fingers clutched the phone as the blood drained from your face. “When… when did the mission complete?” you asked, voice breaking even as you tried to hold yourself together.
“Last night…” he started, and you didn’t let him finish. Your mind had already made the leap. He hadn’t come home. He hadn’t come to you. Instead, he had stayed out, celebrating with someone else—or at least being near her. Your mind filled in the silence with everything you feared. The careful, meticulous plans, the hours spent waiting, the meals, the gifts—all of it rendered irrelevant by the simple fact that he hadn’t come home.
“It’s… it’s our anniversary today,” you choked, your voice raw and tight. “I was waiting for you… worried about you… and now you’re not even here.”
“—I—”
“No!” you snapped, cutting him off. Anger and hurt crashed over you in a wave. “I don’t want to hear you out. Your mission was over yesterday…”
There was a pause on the line, longer than usual, filled with a heaviness that made your chest ache.
“I… I’m sorry. I’m on my wa—”
“Don’t,” you interrupted sharply, the hurt finally lashing outward in words. “Don’t even bother. Just… don’t bother coming here.”
And before he could say another word, before he could explain, apologize again, before the world could shift back even slightly, you hung up.
The phone felt heavy in your hand, like a stone carved from disappointment and betrayal. You stormed out of the apartment, shoving your tote over your shoulder. The elevator descended slowly, each ding echoing like a drumbeat in your chest.
Lina. The name sent a sharp twist of jealousy and worry through you. You had heard things, fragments of stories Xavier had never fully explained: he wasn’t from Earth, not entirely, and in his past, there were threads of connection between him and Lina, a different Lina. Now, she was the Deepspace hunter who had always seemed… somehow entangled in Xavier’s life. The connection he and Lina had, something neither of them fully acknowledged, at least not in this life. But it was enough. Just enough to let the insecurity fester, to make your chest ache with the unfairness of it.
He had gone on this mission and had been gone so often. You knew Xavier’s world was complicated, dangerous, full of rules you didn’t understand. But the thought that he might have chosen to spend even a fragment of his time with her on a day like this, even in some harmless way, made your stomach twist. And still… still, you loved him. You loved him enough that it hurt to imagine him elsewhere while you had been waiting, heartsick and full of hope.
The streets were alive, neon flickering against the damp asphalt. You didn’t slow. You didn’t pause to consider where you were walking. The subway station was crowded, but your movements were frantic, almost reckless. The train roared into the station, metal screeching against rails. You shoved yourself into a car just as the doors slid shut. Your chest ached, and every minute that passed without Xavier’s presence felt like a shard in your ribs.
At first, the ride was uneventful. You gripped the tote tightly, trying to quiet your shaking hands. But then the train lurched violently. The lights flickered, and a siren blared. “Metaflux anomaly detected,” a mechanical voice announced, flat and unnerving. “Security measures activated.”
Your breath hitched.
A ripple of panic moved through the car. Sparks shot from overhead panels, and the sudden vibration made you stumble against a railing. Then, through the flashing red lights, figures appeared. Wanderers. Your heart slammed in your chest. You weren’t a hunter. You weren’t prepared. The doors screamed as someone—or something—thrashed against them. Glass cracked under impact.
You ducked instinctively, clutching the tote to your chest as a Wanderer lunged at another passenger, knocking them into the metal frame. Your breath came in sharp, shallow gasps. Panic threatened to overwhelm you entirely. The anger and heartbreak from Xavier’s absence turned into pure, raw terror.
You tried to call out, tried to move, but the crowd surged around you. Every step felt like a lifetime, every sound a metallic echo in your panicked mind. Sparks rained from the ceiling, acrid smoke burned your throat, and somewhere in the chaos, a piece of your tote ripped. The containers inside crashed to the floor, smashing open.
Your fingers clenched, your nails digging into the strap, trying to hold onto something familiar. You weren’t sure if it was hope or just stubborn survival instinct, but you weren’t letting go.
The train jolted again, violently this time, sending you sprawling against the shoulder of a stranger. The car shuddered and groaned like it might tear itself apart, and the crowd around you began to panic, pressed together in a mass of limbs and muffled screams. You tried to steady yourself, tried to take a breath, but the space was impossibly tight. People shoved past each other, bodies colliding, and your chest felt as if it were being compressed by a vise. Panic clawed at your chest. You couldn’t breathe. The press of bodies around you was suffocating.
A man fell in front of you, tripping over the scattered debris, and you stumbled with him. The crowd didn’t stop. Feet crushed against your shoes, your ankles twisting. You caught yourself against the wall, gasping, but another surge of people slammed against you. You were pushed to the floor, crawling on hands and knees, the metal of the train biting into your palms.
Your chest tightened so fiercely it hurt to inhale. The air smelled of fuel and burnt metal, sweat and panic mixing in a nauseating haze. Your head spun, the world tilting. You felt yourself slipping into that dizzying, detached sensation—where panic numbs the body just enough to make you aware of every ache, every cut, every scrape, and yet you can’t move fast enough to save yourself.
Your phone, wedged against your tote, skidded across the floor. A boot came down on it. The screen cracked, jagged lines spiderwebbing across the glass. Your fingers shot out to catch it—but someone’s heel landed on your hand instead. Pain shot up your wrist, a hot, searing spike. You screamed, muffled by the pressing bodies, and tried again, reaching desperately for the broken phone.
And then it rang.
Your heart slammed against your ribs. You froze, trembling, the chaotic noise around you fading into a singular focus. The phone you had been avoiding since leaving the apartment—the one call you didn’t want to take—was ringing now, its cracked screen lighting up with Xavier’s name.
Your hand throbbed where it had been stepped on, blood prickling along the skin, but your fingers curled around the phone anyway. You barely noticed the heat of the panic pressing against your lungs, barely noticed the chaos of bodies and sparks and smoke around you.
Somewhere in the haze, the mechanical voice’s warnings were drowned out by screams, shouts, the wet thud of bodies falling and scrambling over each other. Your vision blurred, the world tilting and spinning. The crowd surged once more, a tidal wave of panic and fear, and you were swept along in it, blanking out for a moment as the pressure crushed against your chest, making it impossible to think, impossible to breathe.
And still, the phone in your hand continued to ring. Xavier’s name, insistent, unrelenting.
XAVIER'S POV
Xavier gripped the edge of the passenger seat, the hum of the engine beneath him barely registering. Lina drove, her hands steady on the wheel, though her voice cut through the tense silence with relentless admonishment.
“You shouldn’t have ignored your injuries last night. You could’ve gone to a professional—really,” she scolded, eyes flicking toward him, concern layered under irritation. “Sleeping it off wasn’t going to fix anything, Xavier. And now you missed your anniversary—”
“Lina,” he cut her off softly, his voice clipped but calm, almost neutral, though the words vibrated with focus. “Not now.”
She raised an eyebrow, incredulous, but he didn’t care. His attention was elsewhere, directed entirely toward you. Lina’s voice faded into the haze of his focus. He needed to hear your voice. Every word was a background hum to the tight coil of panic gnawing at his chest. You. Your face, your hands, the thought of you waiting, alone, angry, hurt. He had called again and again, each attempt going straight to voicemail.
“Of course, she isn’t picking up, she’s hurt and angry!” Lina stared at Xavier pointedly before focusing on the road.
He finally gave in, dialing Jeremiah. The line clicked, and then the familiar calm voice came through.
“Xavier, where the hell have you been?” Jeremiah’s tone was immediately sharp, worry threaded beneath the surface. “Your girlfriend was worried sick!”
“I’m on my way, I know. She’s mad at me…” Xavier said evenly, though his jaw tightened. “Check on her for me… please…”
Jeremiah’s voice faltered slightly, concern pressing against his words. “She was heading to Philo, my shop… tea to calm her nerves… She was so worried because you wouldn’t answer.”
Xavier’s teeth clenched audibly. She was on her way to Jeremiah? So, he could comfort her? Hell no. Not on his watch. “I’m on my way there. Don’t worry. Just… keep her there until I reach. Don’t… Don’t tell her I am coming…”
The car hummed as Lina continued to ramble how stupid Xavier was and that he should probably make it up to you, grovel or something. Xavier tuned her out, still focused on calling you. The radio was like white noise to him. But Lina frowned as the RJ spoke about something.
“Xavier… Xavier...!” Lina’s voice cut in, tinged with irritation but laced with urgency. “Xavier, there’s a huge metaflux overload in the subway tunnels. Wanderers are swarming.”
His chest tightened, pulse spiking. “Which tunnel?”
“West Garden Station.”
“Book it. Now.”
“But—”
“Now. Lina!”
Minutes later, Xavier materialized above the wrecked train, the air thick with the smell of fuel and burning metal. Below, chaos had erupted: hunters clashing with Wanderers, sparks flying from damaged conduits, the screech of metal-on-metal echoing in the tunnel.
Lina was already in the fray, moving with lethal precision, her figure darting from shadow to shadow. Xavier’s eyes scanned, the glow of his Evol barely contained behind his calm, neutral exterior. He hoped, prayed, that you weren’t here. That you hadn’t wandered into the chaos. Xavier teleported, his body shimmering into the chaos below. Sparks of energy lit the dim tunnels as Wanderers lunged at him, and he moved fluidly, almost unnaturally fast, disposing of threats with precise, lethal force.
He teleported from car to car, calling out your name, each step, each jump, calculated yet frantic. He dispatched Wanderers that got in his way. Every step, every impact he absorbed from stray Wanderers, every motion of his hands sending enemies sprawling—it all fed the panic twisting in his gut.
He tried calling you again. Voicemail. Nothing. His stomach twisted, clenched, a cold fire of desperation and fury coursing through him.
Then, from somewhere deeper in the car he currently was in, a faint vibration echoed against steel. Muffled, faint, almost imperceptible over the chaos. Xavier froze. His eyes narrowed, scanning.
A bloody hand. Wrapped around a phone with a hanging bunbun charm. His heart slammed into his ribs.
Your phone.
He moved instantly, teleporting across the few feet between him and the hand, his eyes wild as he brushed aside debris and knocked aside a Wanderer with a swift motion. His fingers pressed to your wrist. Pulse. Slow, but alive.
Relief clawed through him, thick and overwhelming, and he allowed himself a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding. Gently, reverently, he lifted you into his arms, cradling your injured body against his chest. Your weight was featherlight and heavy all at once, the reality of your survival crashing into him like waves.
“Shh… shh, I’ve got you,” he murmured, voice low, soft, every word imbued with the terror and love coiled in his chest. “It’s me. It’s okay. You’re safe now.” The weight of you pressed against him, and a part of him cursed himself for every second you’d been alone, every second he’d failed to be there.
The world narrowed to your breathing, your pulse, your presence. He teleported out of the subway car, each step a blur, each flicker of space bending as he carried you away from the chaos and into safety.
---------------------------
Time blurred.
Time stretched thin, almost elastic, as Xavier held your hand as you lay on the hospital bed. Every fiber of his being screamed with the knowledge that you had been alone in the chaos, exposed to danger he had failed to prevent. The mission had left him bruised, fatigued, and slightly battered—minor injuries he had stubbornly insisted on sleeping off rather than revealing to anyone, least of all you. He had not wanted to worry you. He had assumed that he could recover quietly, as he always did, and be present for you afterward.
But now you were here and he realized the magnitude of his miscalculation. His chest felt like it had been hollowed out and refilled with lead. Calm, neutral Xavier was gone; underneath, a storm raged. He had failed you. Failed to protect you, failed to share his burden, failed to honor an unspoken promise: that he would be there. And now, in the sterile white light of the hospital, with the distant hum of machines and antiseptic cutting the tension, the storm only intensified.
He shook his head slightly, trying to suppress the internal chaos. No. Not now. Focus. She’s alive. She’s here.
But every shallow breath you drew, every weak movement of your fingers as you stirred, shredded him a little more.
Your first whimper of pain, barely audible but sharp enough to pierce through the fog of his thoughts, yanked him upright. His head shot toward you instantly, eyes scanning your face for the source of discomfort.
“It’s okay,” he whispered immediately, voice low and soothing, a rare warmth threading through the calm neutrality he usually maintained. “You’re going to be okay.”
In his other hand, almost awkwardly, he held a small book—its worn cover titled Caregiving Basics, something he had snatched up earlier, frantic, thinking of the small ways he could support you even in this sterile, alien environment. His calm exterior cracked as he studied you, the way your breathing caught in small, fragile increments, the way your fingers twitched as if reaching for him without strength.
“Xavier…” your voice was weak, shaky, and laced with relief.
He leaned closer, pressing a gentle kiss to your temple. “I’m here. You’re safe. I’ve got you.” His thumb stroked lightly across your wrist, memorizing the warmth of your skin, grounding himself in the proof that you had survived the chaos.
He moved silently sitting on the edge next to you. Every movement was measured, slow, as though the gentlest touch could break you or him. His fingers brushed your hair from your damp forehead, smoothing it back with reverent care.
“I didn’t want to miss our anniversary… The mission ended and there were some… injuries I—I didn’t want to worry you,” he said softly, voice barely above a whisper. “I thought… I could sleep it off. I didn’t realize… I wasn’t thinking. I should have… I should have—” He exhaled sharply and paused, swallowing the weight of his guilt. “I am sorry... I know it means a little… but…”
You swallowed, feeling your own tension slip away as the fear and anger from the phone call earlier dissolved in the warmth of his presence. Sheepish, you whispered, “I… I shouldn’t have yelled at you…”
Xavier’s hand cupped your cheek gently. “Shh… your anger was valid, you didn’t know…” he murmured, tilting his head to press a soft kiss to your forehead. “You scared me.”
Your own voice cracked, a mixture of exhaustion and relief. “You scared me too when you didn’t answer… I thought…”
“I know,” he said, a hint of anguish threading through the neutral tone. “Jeremiah told me everything. You were worried. I… I can’t—” He trailed off, swallowing against the guilt coiling in his chest. “I am sorry. I am so so sorry.”
You exhaled shakily, guilt and relief mingling in the same breath. “I… I overreacted, I guess.”
He shook his head again, smiling faintly despite the tension in his chest. “No. You were worried about me, which is… normal. Which is… right.” He lowered himself carefully to lean against the headboard, despite the sterile sheets and the beep of monitors that reminded him of the reality of your vulnerability. “I wasn’t here for our anniversary… for the first one. And now… now you’re hurt. And I… I hate that I wasn’t here.”
You pressed closer. “How are you, though? You were hurt too…”
He gave a faint, boyish shrug, neutral expression masking the tremor beneath. “I’ll sleep it off,” he said lightly, though the tight set of his jaw betrayed the lingering pain. He shifted closer, nestling against your side, letting his warmth and weight settle around you despite knowing the nurse might scold him later for sleeping next to you.
His arms wrapped around you, careful yet possessive, a steady anchor in the haze of your exhaustion and fear. His voice softened as he murmured against your hair, “Next time you’re mad at me… you take it out on the giant bunbun plush, Okay? He can handle it... Don’t… don’t hold it in. Don’t… take it out on yourself.”
You let out a weak laugh “I… Okay.” You exhaled slowly, letting the tension leave your body in tiny, shuddering breaths. The anger, the fear, the jealousy, the heartbreak—all melted into the quiet of the room, cocooned by his presence.
Xavier buried his face against your hair, holding you. “I am sorry… I’ll do better… for you…for us...” He would make up for this. He would never let you feel unsafe again. And for now… that promise, unspoken but understood, hung between you in the quiet hospital room.
You murmured, almost half-asleep, “Xavier…”
“Shh... sleep… I am here.”
And for now, as your breathing slowed, mingling with his calm presence. Neither of you spoke for a long moment, the weight of fear, guilt, relief, and love pressing in layers. And as Xavier tightened his hold just slightly, whispering, “I love you… and I won’t let go,” And for the first time since the chaos, you let yourself sink into him, into the warmth, into the quiet promise that the world could tear itself apart, but he would always find you.
AN: reblogs, feedback and opinions are appreciated!
If you like my work, you can buy me a Ko-fi. (Tips are not expected, so don't feel pressured to do so.)
Rafayel version | Zayne version | Sylus Version | Caleb Version
—⊹ this work was originally commissioned and given consent to be shared (personal details about the commissioner had been edited out)
MDNI 🔞
Synopsis: A near-death encounter with a Djinn pulls you into a coma, poison rushing through your veins, and all you can do is fall victim to the potent dream its pulling you under. Showing you your deepest desire, it gives you the one thing you've never let yourself ask for. A life where Xavier loves you back.
Content warnings: Supernatural AU, Winchester Xavier (if you squint), Hunting partners, Near-death experience, Hurt/comfort, Slow burn, Mutual pining, the Djinn made them Do It (sort of), Wet dreams, Monster poisoning, Fighting & Sexual tension, We-don't-talk-about-it kiss, Xavier is kinda mean & cold, Sharing a motel room bed, One-bed trope, Mentions of blood & injuries, Love confessions, Cunnilingus & Face-fucking, Possessive Xavier, Rough sex, Doggy style, Multiple orgasms, Orgasm edging & Overstimulation, Begging, Dirty talk, Lots of dirty talk, Praise kink, Creampie, Pet names, Aftercare.
Word count: 13.2k
Author's note: all credits go to my wifey mari who i love so much & who put this idea in my head & made me part of the winchester xavier fanclub cuz i had so much fun with this (besides all the headaches he pulled from me lmaooo) pfft anyway i hope you guys enjoy it~ pls mind the tags, ty
The worst part about hunting a Djinn isn’t the whole ‘getting trapped in a hallucinogenic death-coma’ thing—it’s the territory. Djinns love abandoned places. Warehouses, asylums, factories. Anywhere with enough shadows to hide in and enough rust to make your tetanus shot work overtime.
This one picked an old cannery outside of Tacoma, which means you’ve spent the last twenty minutes breathing in decades of rotted fish and industrial decay while trying not to slip on floors slick with things you don’t want to identify. The smell is so thick you can taste it, salt and metal and something sweet-rotten that coats the back of your throat.
Xavier, of course, looks completely unbothered. He’s been moving through the space like he’s on a casual evening stroll, his flashlight beam steady as it sweeps across rusted vats and collapsed catwalks. You’ve been hunting with him for three years now, and you still can’t figure out if the man actually doesn’t feel discomfort or if he’s just that committed to looking unflappable.
You’re betting on the latter. You’ve seen him get worked up exactly twice—once when you went off-script during a rugaru hunt in Montana and nearly got your throat torn out, and once when you drank the last of his honey milk tea. The man has priorities.
“We should split up,” you say, shining your light down a corridor that branches off to the left. “Cover more ground.”
“No.”
You glance back at him. He’s stopped walking, his expression as neutral as ever, but there’s something in the set of his shoulders that you’ve learned to read over the years. It’s the same tension he gets right before he tells you you’re being reckless, which is rich coming from someone who once walked into a nest of vampires with nothing but a machete and what you can only describe as way too much confidence.
“It’s a Djinn, not a pack of werewolves,” you point out. “I can handle one Djinn.”
“You can handle one Djinn when you’re not walking into blind corners in a building with structural damage and fifteen different ways for something to drop on your head,” Xavier says. His voice is calm, measured. Reasonable. It makes you want to do something unreasonable just to spite him.
“I’ve been hunting for six years,” you remind him. “I know how to clear a room.”
“I’m aware.” He steps closer. He’s been up for almost thirty-six hours, same as you, but he still looks like he could walk into this abandoned building and clear it without breaking a sweat. It’s infuriating. “I’m also aware that you have a habit of prioritizing speed over caution.”
“I prioritize efficiency.”
“You prioritize proving you don’t need backup.”
The words land harder than you expect. You’ve had this argument before—different words, same problem. It started about eight months into your partnership, right after a hunt went sideways and you’d insisted on going back in alone to finish the job. He’d followed you anyway, and you’d both made it out alive, but the lecture afterward had lasted the entire drive back to the motel.
You’d told him then that you didn’t need a babysitter. He’d looked at you with those narrowed blue eyes and said, “I’m not babysitting. I’m making sure my partner doesn’t get killed doing something I could have helped with.”
It had sounded logical. Practical. It also sounded like he gave a damn whether you lived or died, and you hadn’t known what to do with that at the time.
You still don’t.
“Fine,” you sigh, turning back toward the main corridor. “We’ll stick together. But if this takes twice as long because you want to check every corner like we’re defusing a bomb—”
“Then it takes twice as long,” Xavier says. He’s right behind you now, close enough that you can hear the quiet exhale he makes. “I’d rather be thorough than fast.”
You bite down on the urge to argue, mostly because you know he’s right and you hate that you know he’s right. The Djinn could be anywhere in this place. Splitting up would be faster, but it would also be a great way to end up poisoned and hallucinating while your brain slowly liquefies.
Still, there’s a part of you that wants to push back just to see what happens. To see if you can crack that perfect composure, make him admit that this isn’t just about tactics and efficiency. That maybe, possibly, he’s worried about you specifically and not just the general concept of his hunting partner getting hurt.
But you don’t. Instead, you start walking, your boots echoing on the concrete, and try to ignore the fact that you’re hyperaware of exactly how close he is behind you. That you can feel the space between you like a physical thing, six inches of air that somehow feels more conscious than any touch.
“There’s a basement access down here,” you say, nodding toward a rusted metal door half-hidden behind a stack of broken pallets. “If I were a Djinn, that’s where I’d set up. Dark space, enclosed, easy to defend.”
“Agreed,” Xavier says. He moves past you to examine the door, testing the handle carefully before pulling it open. The hinges scream, and the smell that wafts up from below is somehow worse than the rest of the cannery—stale air and old blood and something chemical that burns your sinuses.
“Ladies first,” you say, gesturing toward the stairs.
Xavier gives you a look that might be amusement or might be exasperation. With him, it’s hard to tell. “I’ll go first. You cover”
“Because I’m so delicate and in need of protecting?”
“Because if something comes up those stairs, I’d rather be the one in its way.”
He says it like it’s obvious. Like of course he’d put himself between you and danger, like it’s not something that makes your chest feel too tight and your pulse kick up in a way that has nothing to do with the usual nerves of hunting.
You want to argue. You want to tell him that you don’t need him playing hero, that you can take care of yourself, that this whole protective thing he does is unnecessary and borderline patronizing.
Instead, you say, “Your funeral,” and follow him down into the dark.
The basement is a maze of industrial vats and rusted catwalks, the kind of space that was probably dangerous even when the cannery was operational. Now it’s a death trap—metal groaning overhead, pools of stagnant water reflecting your flashlight beam, pipes dripping condensation that could be water or could be something worse you don’t want to think about.
Xavier moves through it like he’s reading a map only he can see, his light sweeping methodically across each junction before he commits to a direction. You follow, trying not to think about how many places something could be hiding. How many shadows deep enough to conceal a body.
“We should split up here,” you say when you reach a fork in the path. The left corridor is narrow, barely wide enough for one person. The right opens into what looks like a larger processing area, vats rising like monuments in the dark. “You take the big room, I’ll clear the corridor.”
“No,” Xavier says.
“It’s faster—”
“It’s reckless.” He turns to look at you, and there’s an sharpness in his voice you don’t hear often. “We stay together.”
“Xavier—”
“That’s not a suggestion.”
You should listen to him. You know you should. Xavier’s been hunting longer than you have, and his instincts are good—better than good, if you’re being honest with yourself. But there’s a part of you that bristles at being told what to do, that wants to prove you don’t need constant supervision.
“Fine,” you say. “You take the big room. I’ll be right behind you.”
You wait until he’s three steps ahead, his attention on the vats, and then you turn left into the corridor.
It’s a stupid move. You know it’s a stupid move even as you’re making it. But you’ve cleared a hundred spaces like this, and you’re not about to start second-guessing yourself just because Xavier has a bad feeling.
The corridor is tight, your shoulders nearly brushing the walls on either side. Your flashlight catches on old machinery, pipes that snake along the ceiling, a door at the far end that’s hanging half off its hinges. You move carefully, knife in your free hand, every sense straining for movement.
You’re halfway down when you hear a wet, sliding sound above you, like something heavy is dragging itself across metal.
Your training kicks in before conscious thought does. You drop into a crouch, flashlight swinging up, and that’s when the Djinn drops from the ceiling.
It’s fast—faster than anything that size should be. You get a glimpse of blue-gray skin, glowing tattoos that pulse with sickly light, and then it’s on you. You roll left, the knife coming up in a defensive arc, and feel the blade catch flesh. The Djinn hisses, a sound like steam escaping under pressure, and lunges again.
You’re good with a knife. You’ve had to be. But the Djinn is better, and it has the advantage of reach and speed and the fact that you’re fighting in a space barely wide enough to move. You manage to land another cut, this one across its ribs, but it costs you—the creature’s clawed hand rakes across your shoulder, tearing through your jacket and the shirt beneath.
The pain is sharp and immediate, but you’ve had worse. You pivot, trying to get your back against the wall so it can’t circle you, and that’s when the Djinn changes tactics.
It stops trying to kill you and starts trying to touch you.
You realize what it’s doing half a second too late. The Djinn’s hand shoots out, impossibly fast, and its fingers brush the side of your neck just below your jaw.
The effect is instant. The poison burns through your skin like acid, a white-hot line of agony that spreads from the point of contact down into your chest. You gasp, stumbling back, and the Djinn lunges forward to press its advantage.
You slash wildly, more instinct than strategy, and feel the blade sink deep into its shoulder. The Djinn reels back with another hiss, and you use the opening to put distance between you—three steps, four, until your back hits the wall and you can’t go any further.
The poison is spreading. You can feel it moving through your bloodstream, a cold fire that makes your vision blur at the corners. Your legs feel weak, your grip on the knife uncertain.
The Djinn is watching you now, its head tilted in a way that’s almost curious. Waiting for the poison to do its work.
You try to call for Xavier, but your throat feels tight, the words coming out as barely more than a whisper. You try again, forcing air through your lungs, and this time you manage something louder.
“Xavier—”
The Djinn moves again before you got a chance to finish the word. You see it coming, see the way it coils to spring, and you know you’re not fast enough to stop it. The knife feels heavy in your hand, your arm sluggish when you try to raise it.
The creature’s hand reaches for your face, claws extended, and you do the only thing you can think of.
You scream.
It’s not a word, not a call for help—just raw sound, terror and fury and the desperate need to not die alone in the dark. It tears out of your throat with enough force to hurt, echoing off the metal walls, and somewhere in the back of your fading consciousness you think, He’ll hear that. He has to hear that.
The Djinn’s hand closes around your throat.
The poison floods your system like ice water in your veins, and everything goes white. Not the beautiful white of snow or paper. This white is painful and jarring, every nerve firing at once until there’s no distinction between pain and light and sound. You can’t feel the ground beneath you anymore, can’t feel your own body. There’s just the whiteness, and the cold, and the distant awareness that you’re falling to the ground.
You think you hear Xavier’s voice, rough and urgent, shouting your name.
You think you hear the sound of a blade meeting flesh, the Djinn’s death-rattle hiss.
But you can’t be sure, because the whiteness is swallowing everything, pulling you down into a place where sound doesn’t reach and your body is just a distant memory.
Your last coherent thought, before the darkness takes you, is that you should have stayed with him.
Then there’s nothing at all.
—
You wake to sunlight.
That’s the first wrong thing. Sunlight doesn’t exist in the cannery basement. Sunlight doesn’t filter through windows in soft golden bars, doesn’t warm the sheets tangled around your legs, doesn’t make dust motes drift lazy and slow through air that smells like coffee and something floral you can’t place.
You blink. The ceiling above you is cream-colored, unmarked by water damage or mold. There’s a ceiling fan turning in slow rotations, blades clean and white. The bed beneath you is soft—actually comfortable, the kind of mattress that costs more than your car.
Your body moves before your brain catches up. You sit up, and your shoulder—
Your shoulder doesn’t hurt.
You look down. You’re wearing a t-shirt you don’t recognize, soft cotton that smells clean. There’s no blood whatsoever. No torn fabric. No bandages. Your skin is unmarked where the Djinn’s claws should have torn through.
The bedroom door opens.
Xavier walks in carrying two mugs, and the wrongness of it hits you like a physical blow. He’s shirtless, wearing only loose gray sweatpants that sit low on his hips, and his hair is slightly messed like he’s been running his hands through it. He looks at you, and he smiles.
That’s the second wrong thing.
Xavier doesn’t smile like that. He does the small half-curve that means he’s amused, the barely-there quirk that shows up when you say something that surprises him. But this—this is an open smile. Unguarded. The kind of smile that reaches his eyes and makes the blue there look warmer, softer, like something you could fall into and never find your way out of.
“You’re awake,” he says. His voice is rough in a way that makes you think he hasn’t been sleeping. “I was starting to worry.”
You stare at him. Your mouth is dry, your thoughts moving too slow, like they’re wading through something thick. “Where—”
“Safe,” Xavier says. He crosses the room and sets both mugs on the nightstand, then sits on the edge of the bed. Close. Close enough that you can see the faint shadows under his eyes, the tension in his shoulders that he’s trying to hide. “You’ve been out for almost twelve hours. How do you feel?”
“Like I got poisoned by a Djinn,” you wince. Your voice comes out hoarse. “What happened?”
“You went off alone,” Xavier says. There’s no anger in his voice, no I-told-you-so, but you can hear the edge underneath—the thing he’s not saying. “The Djinn got you. I heard you scream in pain.”
You remember that part. The white and hot burning sensation of the poison, the way your legs gave out, the certainty that you were going to die in that corridor, all by yourself at the hands of a very annoying, and very ugly creature.
“You killed it,” you say.
“Yes.”
“And brought me here.”
“Yes.”
You look around the room again, trying to make sense of it. The sunlight. The clean sheets. The smell of coffee and flowers. It’s too nice. Too comfortable. Too much like the kind of place you’d want to wake up in, which means—
“This isn’t real,” you say.
Xavier’s expression changes ever so slightly. The softness doesn’t disappear, not quite, but something else moves underneath it—something that reads almost like pain, if you didn’t knew better. “What makes you think that?”
“Because you’re—” You gesture at him, at the room, at everything. “This doesn’t happen. We never get to have this nice of a room and… We don’t—you don’t look at me like that.”
“Like what?” Xavier asks.
“Like you’re glad I’m alive,” you say. The words come out sharper than you mean them to. “Like you give a damn whether I wake up or not.”
The silence that follows is heavy.
Things between you are complicated. Or rather, they are complicated on your part. You try as much as possible not to feed your own delusions, not to dwell on how Xavier looks at you at times, over the long drives in the Impala, over shared greasy hamburgers in diners. You mask your own consuming attraction toward him with playful jabs, and stubborn defiance because if you actually admitted your feelings, and he rejected you, it would ruin the only good thing in your life.
Xavier sets his mug down. He doesn’t look away from you, and there’s something in his eyes now that you can’t name—something that makes you want to run, except you’re already in bed and there’s nowhere to go.
“I thought I lost you,” he says. His voice has gone quiet. “When I heard you scream, I thought—” He stops. Swallows. Starts again. “I’ve done this for a long time. I’ve lost people. But the idea of losing you—”
He doesn’t finish the sentence. You’re staring at him, your heart doing that complicated thing again, and you don’t know what to do with this. With him sitting on the edge of the bed looking at you like you’re something breakable, something worth protecting. It’s so far off the way he usually looks at you, and you don’t what you could even say to that.
“Xavier—”
“I care about you,” he continues. “More than I should. More than is smart, or safe, or—” He exhales, and it sounds shaky. “I’ve been trying not to. For three years, I’ve been trying to keep it professional, to keep my distance, because I know how this ends. I know what happens when you care about someone in this life. But then you let out that painful scream, and I thought I was too late, and I realized I’d wasted three years pretending I didn’t feel this about you.”
Your breath catches, voice shaky. “Feel what?”
Xavier’s eyes search yours. “Do I really need to say it?”
“Yes,” you whisper.
He leans in gently, giving you every chance to pull away. His hand comes up to cup your jaw, his thumb brushing against your cheek.
“I’m in love with you,” Xavier says.
And then he kisses you.
It’s soft. Tender. Everything you’ve never let yourself imagine because imagining it would make the reality of not having it unbearable. His mouth moves against yours like he’s memorizing the shape of your lips, your taste, like he has all the time in the world and he’s going to use every second of it on learning you.
You know, objectively, that this is the Djinn feeding on your life force, siphoning the marrow from your bones while pacifying your brain with a perfect little hallucination. You know that if you give in, you are going to die on a filthy concrete floor covered in rat shit.
But god, his mouth is so soft.
You kiss him back. Your hands come up to his chest, feeling the warmth of his skin, the steady thrum of his heartbeat under your palms. He tastes like coffee and something addictive, and you can’t get enough of it. It’s a complete and utter surrender. The second you kiss him back, Xavier’s hands slide from your knees up the bare skin of your thighs, gripping your hips that sends a violent jolt straight down between your legs.
He pulls you forward, and you go willingly, shifting your weight until you are the one now fully straddling his lap. The oversized shirt rides up, but you couldn’t care less. In fact, you tangle your fingers into his messy silver hair, pulling him closer, deepening the kiss until the taste of him completely rewrites every little thought in your brain.
He groans into your mouth, a rumbling sound of approval that vibrates against your chest as he kisses you eagerly.
Just five minutes. Let me have this for five minutes, and then I’ll wake up and stab that blue freak.
But five minutes is a dangerous bargain when the illusion is this potent. Xavier’s hands are mapping the curve of your waist, his thumbs pressing firmly into your hip bones. The hard ridge of his bulge presses up against the juncture of your thighs through the thin fabric of his sweatpants, and you want to grind on it, already turned on. The realization hits you like a shot of pure adrenaline.
You tilt your hips, grinding down against him with a slow roll of your hips. Xavier breaks the kiss with a sharp intake of breath, his head falling back slightly to expose the long line of his throat. His grip on your hips tightens to the point of bruising, his thumbs dragging down to ghost over your upper thighs.
“Feels so good with you on top of me...” he murmurs, voice thick, chest heaving under your palms.
You chase his lips again, peppering hot, open-mouthed kisses along his jawline, completely lost in the friction, the heat of him under you where you imagined so many times and then chastised yourself for it.
You rock your hips down again, harder this time, chasing the ache between your legs. You want to drag those sweatpants off him. You want to feel him press you back into this ridiculously soft mattress and ruin you for any other man on earth. Your lips melt together, shared soft moans the only sound you’re aware of in this dizzy state.
When he finally pulls back, you’re both breathing hard. His forehead rests against yours, and his eyes are closed.
“This is real,” he says. “You’re awake. I’m here. And I’m not going anywhere.”
You want to believe him. You want it so badly it hurts.
But the sunlight is too perfect. The room is too clean. And Xavier has never, in three years, looked at you like this.
“I don’t think it is,” you say quietly.
Xavier opens his eyes. “What?”
“Real,” you say. “I don’t think this is real. I think I’m still—”
The room flickers. It’s subtle. Just a momentary distortion, like static on a television screen. The sunlight wavers. The walls blur at the edges.
Xavier’s hand tightens on your jaw. “No,” he says. “No, don’t—”
The room flickers again, harder this time, and you feel the pull. Something dragging you back, away from the sunlight and the soft bed and Xavier’s hands on your skin.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper.
“Don’t apologize,” Xavier says. His voice is rough, desperate. “Just stay. Please stay.”
But you can’t. The pull is too strong, and the room is dissolving around you, the sunlight fading to gray, and Xavier’s face is the last thing you see before—
You wake to darkness and the smell of rust.
Your body comes back to you in pieces. First the cold concrete beneath you, seeping through your clothes. Then the pain in your shoulder screaming, your throat raw, every muscle aching like you’ve been hit by a truck. Then the sound of dripping water from the pipes, and breathing that isn’t yours.
You open your eyes.
You’re still in the cannery basement. Still in the corridor where the Djinn attacked you. The creature’s body is a few feet away, its blue-gray skin already starting to decompose, the glow of its tattoos fading to nothing.
And Xavier is kneeling beside you, his hand on your wrist, checking your pulse.
He looks up when you move. His face is streaked with blood—some of it his, most of it the Djinn’s—and his expression is—
He’s furious.
“You’re awake,” he says. His voice is flat, controlled in a way that makes your stomach drop. “Good. Can you stand?”
You try. Your legs shake, and Xavier’s hand shoots out to steady you, gripping your uninjured arm hard enough that you’ll feel it tomorrow.
“Careful,” he reminds you. Careful seems to not be in your vocabulary tonight.
You get your feet under you. The world tilts, and you have to lean against the wall to keep from falling. Xavier doesn’t let go of your arm.
“I’m fine,” you try to reassure him.
“You’re not fine,” Xavier scoffs. “You were poisoned. You’ve been unconscious for twenty minutes. And you—” He stops. His jaw tightens. “You went off alone.”
“I know.”
“After I told you not to.”
“I know.”
“You could have died,” Xavier states. His voice is still flat, but the words are clipped and devoid of any warmth. “If I hadn’t heard you scream, if I’d been thirty seconds slower, you would be dead right now.”
You don’t have an answer for that. He’s right. You know he’s right.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper.
Xavier’s hand tightens on your arm. “Sorry doesn’t fix this.”
“I know.”
“Do you?” Xavier asks. He steps closer, and you’re suddenly very aware of how much bigger he is than you, how the space between you has shrunk to nothing. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like you have a death wish.”
“I don’t—”
“You do,” Xavier insists. “You throw yourself into danger like it doesn’t matter. Like you don’t matter. And I’m tired of watching you do it.”
His voice cracks on the last word, and that’s when you realize he’s not just angry. He’s terrified.
“Xavier—”
“I thought you were dead,” His hand moves from your arm to the wall beside your head, caging you in. “I heard you scream, and I thought I was too late. And the entire time I was killing that thing, all I could think was that I should have followed you. That I should have stopped you. That if you died because I let you go off alone, I would never forgive myself.”
You’re staring at him. His face is inches from yours, and you can see the way his chest is heaving, the way his pupils are blown wide, the faint tremor in his hand where it’s pressed against the wall.
“I’m sorry,” you say again. It’s inadequate, but it’s all you have.
Xavier’s eyes drop to your mouth. “You keep saying that.”
“Because I mean it.”
“Do you?” Xavier asks. His voice has gone quiet, and he’s so close now that you can feel the heat of him, smell the blood on his skin and clothes and the faint scent of his soap underneath. “Or are you just saying what you think I want to hear?”
“I mean it,” you whisper it, as convincing as you can muster.
Xavier’s hand moves from the wall to your jaw, tilting your face up. His thumb brushes against your bottom lip, and the touch sends a jolt of heat straight through you.
“Prove it,” he says.
You don’t think. You just move, closing the distance between you and kissing him.
It’s nothing like the dream, and so much better all the same. There’s no softness here, no tenderness. This is desperate and rough and three years of wanting compressed into the press of his mouth against yours. Xavier makes a low sound in his throat, and his hand slides from your jaw into your hair, gripping hard enough to sting.
You kiss him back just as hard, if not even harder. Your hands fist in his shirt, pulling him closer like you want to merge yourself to him. He responds by pressing you back against the wall roughly. The concrete is cold against your spine, but Xavier is warm—burning, actually, like he’s running a fever—and you can’t get enough of it.
When he finally pulls back, you’re both breathing hard. His forehead rests against yours, and his eyes are closed.
“We need to go," he whispers.
“Okay,” you say.
“I’m still angry at you,” Xavier still sounds mad, and you can’t blame him for it.
“I know.”
“And we’re going to talk about this,” His breath fawns over your wet lips. You want to kiss him again. “About you going off alone. About you not listening. About—” He stops. Opens his eyes to meet yours. “About all of it.”
“Okay,” you say again, nodding.
Xavier’s hand is still in your hair. He looks at you for a long moment, and then he steps back, letting you go.
“Can you walk?” he asks, looking you over.
“Yes.”
“Then let’s get out of here,” Xavier says.
The walk back to the car is silent. Xavier moves ahead of you, his flashlight cutting through the dark, and you follow. Your legs are shaky, and your shoulder is screaming in pain, but you don’t complain. You don’t have the right to complain, not after what you just put him through.
The Impala is parked where you left it, and Xavier unlocks it without a word. You climb into the passenger seat, and he gets behind the wheel.
He doesn’t start the car. You sit in the silence, waiting for him to say something. To yell at you, to lecture you, to do anything other than just sit there with his hands on the steering wheel and his jaw tight.
“Xavier—”
“Not now,” he says.
You close your mouth. Xavier starts the car. The engine rumbles to life, and he pulls out of the parking lot without looking at you.
The drive to the motel is silent. You watch the streetlights blur past, your thoughts a tangled mess of the dream and the kiss and the way Xavier looked at you in the basement. Like he wanted to strangle you and kiss you at the same time.
You’re still thinking about it when you realize you’re wet.
It’s not even subtle. You can feel the slickness between your thighs, the way your underwear is damp and uncomfortable. Your body is responding to the adrenaline, to the fear, to the memory of Xavier’s hand in your hair and his mouth on yours.
You shift in your seat, trying to ignore it, but the movement just makes it worse. You’re acutely aware of every bump in the road, every shift of your hips, the way your jeans are pressing against you in a way that’s both uncomfortable and maddeningly not enough.
You glance at Xavier. He’s staring straight ahead, his expression unreadable, and you wonder if he knows. If he can tell.
You hope he can’t.
The motel comes into view, and Xavier pulls into the parking lot. He cuts the engine and sits there for a moment, his hands still on the wheel.
“We need to get you cleaned up,” he says finally. “And I need to check your shoulder.”
“Okay,” you sigh, not wanting to argue any longer. You know he won’t calm down until he makes sure your wounds aren’t going to get infected at least.
Xavier gets out of the car. You follow, your legs still shaky, and he unlocks the motel room door without looking at you. The room is small and dingy, the kind of place that rents by the hour and doesn’t ask questions. There’s one bed, a bathroom that’s seen better days, and a TV that probably hasn’t worked since the nineties.
Xavier drops his bag on the bed and turns to look at you. “Sit,” he says, nodding toward the edge of the mattress.
You sit. Xavier disappears into the bathroom, and you hear the sound of running water. He comes back a moment later with a first aid kit and a damp washcloth.
“Let me see your shoulder,” he gestures toward the wounded area. You peel off your jacket, wincing as the fabric pulls at the wound. Your shirt is torn and blood-soaked, and Xavier’s jaw tightens when he sees it.
“This needs stitches,” he says. You can’t distinguish if he is angry or pained, or both. But his voice is cold, and you know he doesn’t like how it looks.
“I know,” you sigh, defeated.
“And you need a shower,” Xavier points out. “You’re covered in blood.”
“So are you,” you point out back, narrowing your eyes.
Xavier ignores that. He sets the first aid kit on the bed and reaches for the hem of your shirt. “This is going to hurt.”
“I can do it myself—”
“Let me,” His voice is quiet, but there’s an air to it that makes you stop arguing.
You let him pull your shirt over your head. The fabric sticks to the wound, and you hiss when it tears free. Xavier’s hands are gentle as he examines the damage, his fingers tracing the claw marks.
“It’s deep,” His eyes furrow. “But clean. The Djinn didn’t get any poison in the wound itself.”
“Lucky me,” you try to joke, but it doesn’t land. You swallow, throat dry.
Xavier doesn’t smile. He picks up the washcloth and starts cleaning the blood away, his touch careful and methodical. You watch his face as he works, the way his brow furrows in concentration, the way his mouth is pressed into a thin line.
“I’m sorry,” you say again. Your chest hurts, and you don’t know if it’s from what you went through tonight or just because you made Xavier mad. You don’t like either options.
Xavier’s hand stills. “Stop apologizing.”
“I can’t,” you say. “Not when you’re—”
“When I’m what?” Xavier looks up at you, and there’s something in his eyes that makes your thoughts scatter off.
“Angry at me,” you continue at last, voice too small.
“I’m not angry at you,” Xavier says, tearing his eyes off your face and checking the wound.
“You said you were.”
“I lied,” Xavier goes back to cleaning your shoulder, his touch still gentle. “I’m not angry. I’m—” He takes a small breath in. “I don’t know what I am.”
You don’t know what to say to that. You bite your lip and sit in silence while he finishes cleaning the wound, and then he picks up the needle and thread.
“This is going to hurt,” he warns again, locking eyes with you.
“I know.”
Xavier’s hand settles on your uninjured shoulder, steadying you. “Try not to move.”
The first stitch burns, and you bite down on your lip to keep from making a sound. Xavier works quickly, his hands steady, and you focus on his face instead of the pain. On the way his jaw is still tight, the way his eyes are focused on the task at hand.
When he’s done, he ties off the thread and cuts it. “There,” he says. “That should hold.”
“Thank you.”
Xavier doesn’t respond. He picks up the first aid kit and carries it back to the bathroom, and you hear the sound of running water again.
You sit on the edge of the bed, your shoulder throbbing, and try to figure out what the hell just happened. The kiss in the basement. The silence in the car. The way Xavier is acting now—distant and controlled, like he’s trying to put as much space between you as possible.
You don’t know what it means. You don’t know if you want to know.
Xavier comes back out of the bathroom after a few minuts. “You should shower. I’ll go after you.”
You nod and stand up. Your legs are still shaky, and you have to grip the edge of the bed to keep from falling.
Xavier’s hand shoots out to steady you. “Be careful.”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine,” Xavier scoffs. “You were poisoned. You need to rest.”
“I will,” you say. “After I shower.”
Xavier lets go of your arm. “Don’t take too long. And don’t get the stitches wet.”
“I won’t,” you reassure him.
You grab your bag and head into the bathroom, closing the door behind you. The room is small and cramped, the mirror cracked and the tiles stained. You turn on the shower and wait for the water to heat up, then strip off the rest of your clothes.
Your reflection in the mirror is a mess. Blood-streaked skin, dark circles under your eyes, and the fresh stitches on your shoulder standing out stark and red. You look like you’ve been through a war.
You step into the shower and let the hot water wash over you. It stings where it hits the wound, but you don’t care. You just stand there, letting the water run over you, and try to make sense of everything that happened tonight.
Your hand drifts down between your legs almost without thinking. You’re still wet, still aching, and the memory of Xavier’s mouth on yours is enough to make you gasp.
You shouldn’t. You know you shouldn’t. But you can’t help it. Your fingers find your clit, and you start to move, chasing the release you need.
It doesn’t work.
You try for a few minutes, your breath coming faster, but the angle is wrong and your shoulder hurts and you can’t stop thinking about Xavier on the other side of the door. About the way he kissed you. About the way he looked at you like he wanted to devour you.
You give up with a frustrated sound and finish washing quickly. When you step out of the shower, you feel worse than when you went in—still aching, still wanting, and now frustrated on top of it.
You dry off and pull on clean clothes, then open the bathroom door.
Xavier is sitting on the edge of the bed, his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. He looks up when you come out, and his eyes track over you—your damp hair, your clean clothes, the bandage on your shoulder.
“Your turn,” you say.
Xavier stands up. He grabs his bag and heads into the bathroom without a word, and you hear the shower start a moment later.
You sit on the edge of the bed and try not to think about him in there. About the water running over his skin, about the way he looked at you in that basement after your near-death experience. How he kissed you…
You fail spectacularly.
The shower runs for a long time. When Xavier finally comes out, he’s wearing a towel around his waist and nothing else. His hair is damp, and there are droplets of water still clinging to his chest. You have to force yourself to look away.
He grabs his bag, pulling out a t-shirt and sweatpants. You watch as he drops the towel and pulls on the clothes. He doesn’t look at you, doesn’t acknowledge the way your eyes track over his body, and when he’s dressed he sits back down on the bed.
On the opposite side from you. The distance feels intentional, and you can’t read into it. You don’t know what to approach him, how to open the difficult conversation you need to have. So you just apologize for the tenth time tonight.
“I really am sorry, Xavier.”
Xavier’s jaw tightens. “You need to stop apologizing.”
“I don’t know what else to say,” you admit.
“Then don’t say anything,” Xavier says. He lies down on his side of the bed, his back to you, and pulls the blanket over himself.
You sit there for a moment, staring at his back, and then you lie down too. On your side of the bed. With a careful foot of space between you.
The silence is heavy. You can hear Xavier breathing, slow and controlled, and you wonder if he’s actually going to sleep or if he’s just pretending.
You close your eyes and try to do the same.
You can't sleep.
The heating unit rattles in the corner like it has for the last three nights in this same chain motel, and every passing car on the highway sends thin blades of light across the ceiling. Your body feels wrung out from the poison and the fight, but your mind keeps circling back to the basement. The way Xavier had pressed you against that damp wall, fingers twisted in your hair, mouth rough and certain like three years of swallowed words had finally broken loose.
What had he meant by any of it? The anger, the raw fear underneath, the kiss that still burns on your lips hours later?
Three years of this. Three years of learning exactly how he takes his honey milk tea, of watching him methodically clean blood from his blade while you ramble through newspaper clippings in the middle of the night. Of pretending that you don’t care about him more than you should. You've buried it under sharp jokes and stubbornness because admitting it could shatter the only steady thing you have left in this life.
Partners. Nothing more.
Until tonight.
You sigh before you can stop yourself.
“You're still awake,” he says, startling you from your thoughts.
The words come quiet from the other side of the bed. You flinch anyway. Xavier usually drops off the second his head hits the pillow. You've always envied that about him, the way he can shut everything down while you lie here turning mistakes over like stones in your hands.
“So are you,” you answer, keeping your back to him. Your eyes stay fixed on the neon blinking through the cheap curtains.
The mattress shifts. “You sighed. You only sigh like that when you're turning something over too many times.”
He knows you too well. Three years of shared rooms and shared scars will do that.
“I'm not turning anything over,” you lie. “I'm trying to sleep. Which would be easier if you'd stop talking.”
There’s a heavy silence stretching between you, only the passing cars outside can be heard. His voice comes softer, closer than before. “I'm sorry.”
You go still. An apology from Xavier is rare enough that it lands like a thrown knife.
“For what?” you ask.
“For how I spoke to you tonight. In the basement, after you woke up.” His tone stays even, but you hear the crack in it. “I was harsher than I needed to be.”
You swallow. “You were scared. I scared you. I get it.”
The bed dips again as he moves nearer. “I was.”
The admission sits between you, simple and heavy. You should let it end there. Accept it, roll over, and pretend tomorrow will take things back to how they were before. But you've never been good at leaving things alone.
“The kiss,” you say, throat tight. “Are you sorry for that too?”
The quiet that follows feels endless. You keep your eyes on the wall, too afraid to turn.
“No,” he murmurs after what feels like forever.
His hand settles on your shoulder, warm through the thin cotton of your shirt, and he eases you onto your back. You let him. When you finally face him, he's propped on one elbow. The neon from the sign outside paints faint red across his silver hair and his cheekbone. His eyes hold yours without flinching.
“No,” he says again, softer. “I'm not sorry for that.”
“Then why have you been acting like it didn’t happened?” you whisper.
His expression flickers with something you can’t make out in the dark. “Because I don't know how to have this conversation with you. Three years of keeping things professional between us. Of telling myself it was enough to be your partner, to stitch you up after hunts like tonight, to know your tells better than my own. And then I crossed that line. I don't know what it means for us now.”
The words sting, but the way his thumb brushes your collarbone takes some of the edge off.
“I didn't say I regret it,” he adds. “I don't.”
“Xavier...”
“Tell me what the Djinn showed you.”
You knew this was coming. He'd heard you in that corridor, the sounds you'd made while the poison pulled you under. Still, the question makes your stomach drop.
“Nothing important,” you say, defensive. “Some beach house. Winning the lottery. Nothing worth remembering.”
“You're lying to me.” He says it gently, because he knows you, and you’ve never succeeded in getting a lie past Xavier before. Why would this time be any different?
His thumb keeps moving in slow circles against your skin. “The Djinn gives its victims exactly what they want most. It makes them stop fighting. You stopped fighting for nearly three minutes after I injected you. You made sounds like you were somewhere else completely. Somewhere good.”
Heat floods your face. You close your eyes, deciding there’s no point in running away from this. “It showed me you.”
The silence feels alive now. His fingers stay steady on your jaw when you try to turn away.
“What was I doing?” he asks, voice rough in a way you've never heard from him before.
“We were in a house. Our house, I guess. You brought me coffee and said we had the week off. You smiled at me, a beautiful and easy smile you almost never show.”
You swallow, averting your eyes. You consider if you should tell him everything. You might as well throw it all out there. “You told me you loved me. Then you kissed me. I knew it wasn't real. I knew it was killing me. But I told myself just five more minutes. Let me have this for five more minutes before I wake up and fight.”
His breath draws in sharp. “Five minutes. You were ready to let it drain you dry for five more minutes of a dream with me.”
You close your eyes, wincing slightly. “Don't say it like that, Xavier. It sounds pathetic when you put it that way.”
“It sounds like you've been carrying this as long as I have.”
Your eyes open. He's a lot closer now, silver hair falling across his forehead, expression stripped of its usual calm expression. Maybe he is just as affected as you.
“Three years,” you whisper. “I've felt this for three years. But you're Xavier, my partner. You're always so steady, so certain. I thought I was the only one who felt it. That we were just partners who keep each other alive, who share bad coffee and worse motels and never talk about the rest.”
He lets out a low sound, almost pained. “Just partners. You think I learned how you tap your fingers on the wheel when you're worried, or how you always check the salt lines twice, or how you looked at me after that wendigo hunt in Colorado because we're just partners? You think I sat up with you after hunts like tonight because it was my job?”
The memory hits you hard. Two years ago, him pressing gauze to your side in the back of the Impala, voice quiet while you shook from adrenaline and blood loss. The way he'd stayed until you fell asleep even though he was bleeding too.
“I didn't know you felt that way,” you whisper.
“I've been in love with you since our first year hunting together,” he says. The words come out raw, like they've been waiting too long to come out. “Every time you ignored my orders and still came back breathing. Every time you made me laugh without even trying. I kept telling myself the line had to stay clear. Partners don't do this. But when I heard you scream in that basement, none of those reasons mattered. I couldn't lose you without you knowing how I felt.”
“Xavier,” you breathe, his name the only thing left to say.
He shifts over you in one smooth motion, braced on his forearms so his face fills your world. His hair brushes your forehead. His warmth sinks into your skin.
“This,” he murmurs against your mouth. “This is what I want all along.”
The kiss starts gentle, a careful question after years of careful distance. His lips move against yours a bit uncertain still, but it’s slow, and you’re sigh into his lips. You surge up to meet him, fingers sliding into his hair that’s still damp from the shower, pulling him closer. A soft moan slips from you the moment his mouth opens to greet you.
He chuckles into your mouth, makes a low sound of approval that vibrates through your chest, pleased and warm. The kiss deepens. His teeth catch your lower lip, tugging gently, then harder, until you gasp and arch beneath him.
His mouth trails down from your lips, pressing hot, slick kisses along your jaw and down the side of your neck until he finds that sensitive spot just below your ear. He scrapes his teeth against it, knowing damn well what he does because you shake against him. You moan louder, fingers tightening in his silver hair, yanking hard enough that a low groan vibrates through his chest.
He hums against your throat, tongue tracing the flutter of your pulse. “Pull harder. I like it.”
You obey instantly, twisting your grip until his head tips back. The sound he makes is deeper this time, raw approval that settles hot between your legs. He rewards you by sinking his teeth into the junction of your neck and shoulder, sucking hard enough to bruise. You already know it will bloom dark by morning, a mark you’ll feel every time your jacket shifts during the next hunt.
“Good girl,” he murmurs against your skin, voice soft and taunting in that same measured tone he uses when he’s telling you to stop being reckless. His hands slide down your sides, gripping your waist, thumbs pressing into the softness of your hips like he’s memorizing the shape of you after three years of only allowing himself stolen glances at your body. “Now tell me. Do you want the soft Xavier from your dream?”
His mouth moves lower, kissing along your collarbone, tongue dipping into the hollow of your throat. You shudder under him, words failing.
“The one who would have made sweet love to you?” he continues, calm even as his hands knead and massage your waist. “Took hours mapping every curve I’ve thought about during those long drives back from hunts, when you’d fall asleep against the window and I’d steal glances instead of watching the road? The one who brought coffee in your dream and said he loved you in that soft voice?” he continues, calm and measured even now. “The one who would have taken all night mapping every inch of you because he finally had the chance?”
He kisses the swell of your breast through your thin sleep shirt. “That version exists. He would worship you for hours. Make you feel like the only thing that matters after hunts like the one in Montana where you nearly got your throat torn out and I realized I couldn't keep pretending we were only partners.”
He looks up at you through silver lashes, blue eyes dark with three years of carefully banked hunger, and your cunt clenches hard around nothing.
“He would spend all night between your thighs if you let him. He would make you feel precious.” he says softly.
You swallow, breath coming out fast. His hands keep shifting between gentle strokes and bruising grips, keeping you off balance exactly the way he does when he overrides your reckless calls in the field.
Then he smirks, the expression so rare and sharp it sends heat flooding straight to your core. His hand slips under the hem of your sleep shirt, palm flat against your bare stomach, sliding up with agonizing slowness until his fingers find your hardened nipple.
“But that Xavier is for tomorrow. When the sun is up and I have time to do it right.”
He pinches the sensitive peak between thumb and forefinger, rolling it with deliberate pressure. Your back arches clean off the mattress, pressing harder into his hand as a broken sound tears from your throat.
“This version of me,” he rasps, watching every twitch of your face, “is not going to be soft tonight. Not after I heard you scream in that basement. Not after I thought I was too late again.”
He pinches harder, twisting just enough to send sparks racing down your spine. You cry out, hips bucking uselessly into empty air.
“This Xavier is going to mark you all over.” He leans down and claims your mouth in a bruising kiss, swallowing your whimper. “With kisses.” Another sharp pinch to your nipple. “With teeth.” His tongue slides against yours, demanding. “With bites left as reminders that you don't get to run off alone anymore.”
He pulls back, smirk deepening at the wrecked expression he finds.
“I’m going to eat you out until you’re shaking,” he tells you, fingers still working your nipple in tight, ruthless circles. “Lick every drop of how wet you are for me and make those pretty lips sing my name. Then I’m going to fill you up, bunny. Make you mine in every way that dream never could.”
You grab his wrist and drag his hand down, pressing his palm between your legs where your underwear is soaked through. “You—” you gasp as he makes contact with your needy pussy. “This version of you. The real one. Help me, Xavier. Please.”
He presses against the damp cotton, exploring the heat there. “Ah,” he says, maddeningly calm. “That little session in the shower didn’t do much for you after all.”
Heat floods your face. Of course he heard every frustrated gasp through the paper-thin walls. The same man who once tracked you across three counties after you went off alone now knows exactly how desperate you sounded trying to come to the memory of his mouth.
“I...” you start, but his fingers drag roughly down your slit, pressing the soaked cotton against your clit, and the words melt into a moan.
“You tried to handle it yourself,” he says, voice warm with something that sounds almost like affection. “After I kissed you against that wall. Kissing me got you this needy, bunny? You’re almost too sweet.”
His fingers keep dragging along your slit through the fabric, enjoying how you jerk under his merciless touch. Then his other hand pushes your shirt up, exposing your breasts. His mouth follows, closing around your nipple while his fingers rub circles over your clit through the underwear.
“Don’t be embarrassed, bunny.” His smirk widens as he rubs tight circles over your clit, enjoying how your eyes cross then roll in pleasure. “I enjoyed every second. Stood in there stroking my cock to the sound of you failing to come because you needed me instead.”
You moan brokenly, hands flying back to his hair, hips grinding against his palm. His tongue swirls around the stiff peak, teeth grazing then biting down hard enough to make your cunt throb. You’re mush under his pleasurable assaults, you can barely form thoughts.
“So responsive,” he hums against your skin, the vibration shooting straight to your clit. “You like when I’m mean, don’t you?”
“Yes,” you gasp, tugging his hair harder. “Fuck, Xavier, yes—don’t stop...”
He groans at the sharp pull, biting your nipple hard enough that the sting blooms into sharp pleasure, almost close to pain. His hand between your legs slaps down against your soaked panties, the wet smack and sudden sting making you jolt and cry out.
“Fu—ck,” you sob, hips jerking uncontrolably. “Xavier, oh fuck, so mean... need you b-badly...”
“Mean?” He pulls back to look at you, eyes glittering with dark amusement. “I haven’t even started being mean yet, bunny.”
You moan and grind up against his hand. “I'm so wet,” you slurr. “It's embarrassing. Won't you help your partner out, Xavier? You always have my back, right? A-ahh... hah...” you plead with your eyes, half-lidded and hazy.
He groans at the nickname, biting down on your nipple until you cry out. His hand between your legs keeps slapping lightly over your puffy cunt, the sting making your hips jerk because you need so much more.
His fingers finally slip beneath the waistband of your underwear, dragging through your dripping folds. The first touch of skin on your soaked cunt makes you cry out, back arching clean off the bed. He spreads your wetness from your entrance up to your swollen clit and back down, coating his fingers until they glide slick and easy.
He repeats the motion a few times before dipping down to tease your entrance again. “Always,” he rasps, voice gone rough. “I’ve always got you, partner.”
Then he slides down your body, broad shoulders pushing your shaky thighs apart, and you almost push his head down, impatient. He doesn’t pull your underwear aside. Instead he presses his mouth directly over the drenched cotton, tongue dragging a long, slow stripe up your slit through the fabric.
You almost cum then and there.
The wet heat of his mouth combined with the feeling of cotton against your swollen clit makes your eyes roll back, pushing his head unbashfully until his face is all up in your cunt. He moans at the taste of you soaking through, licking again and again, sucking the fabric between his lips like he can’t get enough of how desperate you are for him.
You have three years of swallowed want and one ruined hallucination to make up for, and Xavier is finally showing you exactly how hungry he’s been the whole time.
You moan brokenly and buck up against his face, chasing the maddening friction of his hot tongue bullying your sensitive nub. His hands grip your thighs, spreading you wider and wider until your hips ache, and when he looks up at you his blue eyes are dark with three years of held-back hunger.
“Such a desperate partner I have,” he murmurs against you before his tongue presses harder into your hole, pushing the sticky cotton inside. You whine and thrash unde him as he laughs. “Can't even wait for me to take these off.”
Your hips roll shamelessly against his mouth. He chuckles, clearly amused you’re this desperate. This sound you’ve only heard a handful of times across motel rooms and long drives in the Impala, and you never thought you’d hear it from between your thighs. Your hips jerk toward the sound.
“Already fucking my tongue through your panties,” he taunts, pulling back just enough to meet your eyes when you dare a glance down at him. His chin glistens with your arousal, lips swollen. His eyes are like two black holes, nothing but lust and desire lingering in them. “Is that what you are, starlight? A desperate girl who wants to fuck my mouth and come on it?”
“Yes,” you sob, fingers clawing at the sheets. The confession spills out raw after years of biting your tongue every time he handed you coffee or stitched your shoulder after hunts like the rugaru incident in Montana. You wanted to confess so many times. You’re done holding back. “Yes, please, Xavier, I need—”
“Need what?” His thumb keeps bullying your clit with rapid flicks of his thumb. He laughs delightedly when you shake and thrash under his touch. “Use your words. Tell me exactly what you need.”
The words tangle in your throat. All that escapes is a broken moan as your head thrashes against the pillow. He keeps the slow, taunting circles going, thumb dragging the drenched cotton over your swollen clit again and again until it’s almost painful. You’ve been so close to your orgasm all this time, but Xavier seems to want to play cat and mouse first.
“Cat got your tongue?” he chuckles, voice soft and playful in that measured way that always makes you want to both kiss him and argue with him. “You’re already this fucked out from just my mouth on you? After everything we’ve been through together—three years of you defying me on hunts and me still following you anyway—you can’t even tell me you want my tongue inside your cunt?”
“P-Please,” you manage, voice cracking. “Need your m-mouth, your tongue inside me... No more teasing, Xavier. Please? I can’t—h-hah, can’t cum like this…”
“I heard you.”
He yanks your underwear roughly to the side. Before you can draw breath his tongue plunges into you, hot and thick and relentless in its assualt. The sound that rips from your throat is raw, nothing but static flooding your mind. Your hands fly to his silver hair, yanking hard as you start fucking his face. His tongue curls inside your cunt every time your hips roll, stroking that spot that makes your thighs shake while his thumb works your clit in tight, fast circles.
“M-More,” you gasp, pulling his hair harder. “Faster, Xavier—h-harder—ohfuck…”
He groans against your dripping pussy, a sound of pure approval at how you use his face without mercy. The same quiet satisfaction he shows when you finally listen to him out on a hunt, except now it’s filthy and possessive. His tongue fucks into you deeper while his thumb flicks fast over your clit.
The slurping sounds of his mouth devouring you fill the dingy motel room.
“That’s it,” he rasps against your cunt, breath hot on your oversensitive flesh. “Fuck my face. Use me, bunny. Take what you need after all those nights I lay awake listening to you breathe and wondering how you’d sound with my tongue inside you.”
You obey without shame, grinding down on his mouth, riding his tongue as the coil in your belly winds tighter, making you shake without control. His hand slides up your body, finds your nipple, and pinches hard. The sharp spark of pain shoves you over the edge.
You come with his name tearing from your throat, thighs clamping around his head, fingers twisted tight in his hair. Your cunt pulses around his tongue, flooding his mouth and face as he keeps working you through every wave, licking and sucking like he’s been starving for you since that first year you started hunting together. He doesn’t stop until you’re trembling and gasping, hips twitching away from his face with aftershocks.
When he finally pulls back, his chin is slick with your release, lips red and shiny. He licks them slowly, holding your gaze while he savors every drop. Your gasps fill the room as you try to come back from the mind shattering orgasm your partner pulled from you. You never came so hard in your life.
“Beautiful,” he murmurs, leaning down to press a biting kiss to the inside of your thigh. He sucks hard, leaving a dark mark you’ll feel for days beneath your hunting jeans. “You taste much better than I imagined all those nights sharing beds and pretending I wasn’t hard as steel just from the sound of you breathing.”
He sits back on his heels. Your eyes drop immediately to the thick outline of his cock straining against his sleep pants, the material hiding almost nothing. A wet spot darkened the fabric where he’s leaking. He palms himself slowly, hips rolling into his own hand, and the sight makes your cunt clench again.
You need to feel that cock inside you.
Mewling, you reach for him. He catches your wrist before you make contact, dark smile curling his lips.
“Eager little bunny,” he says, amused. “Can’t help yourself, can you?”
He guides your hand to his clothed cock, wrapping your fingers around his thick length through the fabric and covering your hand with his own. He’s burning hot, impressively thick, and you feel him throb against your palm as you squeeze.
“Feel that?” he whispers, almost conversational even as his hips push into your grip, needy for your touch. “We’ve shared so many motel beds before this. Would it be bad for me to admit you got me like this so many nights? Hard and leaking on the other side of the same mattress after watching you nearly die in that cannery, or after stitching up your shoulder like I did tonight, knowing exactly how reckless you are and still wanting you anyway.”
“Xavier,” you breathe, tightening your grip and stroking him slowly. The wet spot grows under your palm. “I want to taste you. Let me—”
He chuckles and gently removes your hand from his cock. “Patience, bunny. I have other plans for you first.”
Before you can protest he flips you onto your stomach, one large hand pressing between your shoulder blades to keep your chest pinned to the mattress. His other hand grips your hip, lifting until your ass is high in the air, knees spread, face down in the cheap pillow.
“Play with yourself,” he instructs, calm and commanding in that same tone he uses when he tells you to stay behind him on the field. He can be so commanding at times, but you can’t say you dislike it right now. You’re hot all over. “Show me how you touch that pretty cunt when you think about me.”
You whimper into the pillow. Your hand slides between your legs almost on its own, fingers finding your swollen, dripping hole. The first circle makes you moan.
“Good girl.” Warm approval fills his voice. “Now spread yourself open for me. Let me see exactly what’s mine.”
You obey, trembling fingers parting your folds, exposing your dirpping, puffy cunt to his gaze. You can feel your own wetness coating your fingers, can feel it dripping down your thighs as he stares, the cool air of the motel room brushing over your most sensitive places while Xavier drinks in the sight of you displayed for him.
His voice drifts over you, low and amused. Taunting. So fucking sexy. “You’re spreading yourself for me, bunny?” He sounds almost conversational, the same calm tone he uses when he’s mapping out a hunt. “Such a good girl. Look at you leaking all over your fingers. Do you feel how wet you are for me?”
“Mmm, y-yeah,” you gasp. Your fingers slip through the mess dripping from your cunt, the slick sounds loud in the quiet motel room as you finger yourself slowly.
“Was it the same in the dream?” He shifts closer. You feel the heat of his body behind you, the mattress dipping under his weight. “Did that soft version of me make you spread yourself open like this? Or was he too busy bringing you coffee and whispering sweet things to ever bend you over and take what he wanted?”
You glance back over your shoulder. The sight steals whatever words you had left. He has shoved his sleep pants down, only just, cock standing thick and flushed in his fist. He strokes himself slowly while he watches you, thumb spreading the steady bead of precum over the mushroomy head. He is bigger than the dream let you feel, heavy in his fish. Veined, with the purple tip already glistening.
Your cunt clenches hard around your fingers. It’s so embarrassing, your face must be in flames, but you need him. You want him inside you, make you forget everything else.
He catches you staring and smirks, hand still moving in that lazy rhythm. “Like what you see, starlight?”
“Xavier…” The name comes out shaky. Your eyes stay locked on the way his cock twitches in his grip, another drop of precum rolling down the shaft.
His hand covers yours between your legs. You gasp as he pushes two of his fingers inside alongside your own. Four fingers stretch you open at once, the burn sharp and perfect as he scissors them and stretches you open. He curls them slowly, stroking that spot inside you that makes your thighs shake and your vision spark white, making sure you’re as wet as you can be to receive him.
“You bargained with the Djinn for five more minutes of that dream,” he murmurs, chest pressed to your back, lips brushing your ear. His fingers pump deeper, stretching you wider with every thrust. “Was this what you really wanted? My fingers in your cunt while I tell you how many nights I lay awake in the Impala after patching you up from hunts, hard and fucking my own fist because I couldn’t fuck you just yet?”
“Yes—ohgod, y-yes, Xavie,” you sob, pushing back onto your joined hands. The stretch burns so good it makes your eyes water. “Wanted t-this… You should’ve taken me, I-I would’ve let you—haahh, oh fuck…”
“My good, sweet partner.” His voice stays soft against your ear even as his fingers curl harder and pump even faster into your squelching hole. “How about you bargain with me instead? Tell me how long you’ll last before I even get inside this tight cunt. Five minutes? Less?”
“Xavier, p-please,” you gasp, free hand clawing at the sheets. “J-Just push inside me. Can’t wait anymore, I-I’ll cum before you g-get a chance to fuck me...mmmhm, please—”
He chuckles against your ear, the sound warm and dark. He pulls your fingers free along with his own, leaving you empty and clenching. The blunt head of his cock nudges your entrance, hot and slick with precum, rubbing through your folds in teasing strokes.
“So impatient, like always.” he murmurs. “My desperate little partner.”
You pant, reaching back blindly until your fingers dig into his hip, nails biting skin. He smacks your ass, sharp and stinging to get you to take your hand back. The sudden heat blooming across your skin makes you cry out, hips jerking onto his cock. He uses the moment to push forward.
He sinks in with one long thrust, burying himself to the hilt. The stretch is blinding. Your scream muffles into the pillow as your walls flutter and clamp around his thick cock, too big for you even wet as you are, so it stings. He groans behind you, voice tight.
“You really are so damn tight,” he rasps. “Relax for me, bunny. I can feel you squeezing every inch. If you keep that up, I won’t fit all the way.”
He is leaking inside you already, hot pulses of precum mixing with your own wetness as he rocks forward, working another inch deeper. His hands grip your hips hard enough to bruise, the same steady grip he uses when he hauls you out of danger.
You remember the wendigo hunt in Colorado, how those hands had pressed gauze to your side while his voice stayed calm even though his eyes had been wild. You wanted those firm hands to do so many inappropriate things to you, haul you in whatever position he wanted. Now those same hands hold you open while his cock stretches you wider than you thought possible.
“B-Big,” you slurr into the pillow, drool wetting the fabric. “So big, Xavier, f-fuck, can’t relax, you feel t-too good—”
He smacks your ass again, harder. The sting makes you gasp and unclench just enough for him to slide the last inch home. The head of his cock kisses something deep that makes your toes curl and your cunt flutter wildly around him.
“There you go,” he praises, voice rough but warm as he soothes the skin of your ass when the slap landed. “That’s it. Who would’ve thought you’re turning so pliant and obedient bent over for your partner’s cock, hm?”
“Want you to fuck me,” you sob, pushing your hips back until his balls press against your clit. “Fuck me, baby…”
You barely realize the pet name slipping out your mouth and slurring against the pillow. But Xavier catches it either way. He fists a hand in your hair and pulls your head back, arching you beautifully. His hips snap forward, burying himself to the hilt again, rocking his thick cock in and out of your squeezing warmth. The new angle makes him drag over that spongy spot with every thrust.
“Good girl,” he rasps. “Now arch your back. Ass up higher. Let me get even deeper.”
You obey instantly, spine curving, hips tilted so he can drive in at the perfect angle. He moans at the sight, slow deep thrusts turning into something faster, wet skin slapping against wet skin.
“So beautiful,” he breathes. “I can see my cock sliding in and out of your pretty puffy cunt. You’re dripping down my balls, bunny. Does it feel that good?”
“S-sooo good…” you sob, voice breaking on every thrust. “Yes, so good, fuck—”
“Then let me hear you.” His pace picks up, hips slamming into your ass with every stroke, cock dragging mercilessly over that spot inside you. Your toes curl. “Sing for me, starlight. Let the whole motel know how good your partner makes you feel.”
You let go. Every moan, every broken cry, every desperate plea pours out of you as he rails you exactly the way you needed after three years of swallowed want and fingering yourself in showers or under the duvet, searching something you never found. His hand stays tight in your hair, the other gripping your hip, hauling you back onto his cock like he never plans to let you go again.
“That’s it,” he groans, his rhythm growing more punishing. “Fuck, you feel incredible. So wet and tight around me. You were made for my cock, weren’t you?”
“Yes,” you gasp, barely coherent. “Yes, yours, only yours...”
“Good girl. My good girl.”
He adjusts his grip, one hand kept fisting your hair while the other slides around to find your clit. His fingers press down hard, rubbing tight circles in time with his thrusts. The pressure building again, tighter and tighter, fast and vicious.
“Xavier,” you gasp, your vision starting to blur. “Ohfuck, ohfuck—fuck, ’m gonna cum, ’m gonna...”
“Already?” His voice is rough, his rhythm faltering slightly before picking back up even harder. “Fuck, me too. Shit, I’m so close, I’ll cum inside you...”
“K-kiss me?” you beg, craning your neck back toward him. “Want to feel you while I...”
He complies instantly, twisting your head to capture your mouth in a desperate, messy kiss. His tongue slides against yours, teeth catching your lower lip as his hips keep their brutal pace. The angle lets him grind deeper, cock throbbing heavy inside your clenching cunt.
“Beautiful girl,” he rasps against your lips, fingers flicking faster on your clit. “I’m so deep, aren’t I? Feel me all the way inside you.”
“Yes,” you sob, squeezing around his cock. “So deep, Xavier, so full...”
“Going to cum around my cock for me, are you?” He bites your neck, sucking more marks on the sweaty skin. “Do it, starlight.”
His hips snap forward one final time, burying himself to the hilt as his fingers pinch your clit.
“If you cum for me,” he groans against your throat, “I’ll pump you full right after. Deal? Come on, my stubborn partner, let go.” His cock throbs inside you, and you can tell he’s right on the edge. “I’ll fill you to the brim. You’ll be so full of me for days. Begging for more than just five minutes.”
You shatter.
The orgasm crashes through you harder than anything you’ve ever felt, your entire body seizing up as you scream his name. Your walls clamp down around his cock in rhythmic pulses, milking him, soaking his length and balls while your thighs shake uncontrollably. He follows as he said he would.
With a broken groan, his hips continue grinding as thick ropes of cum flood your spasming cunt, filling you up until it starts to leak out around him, dripping down your thighs in messy white trails. He holds you through it, his hips grinding against your ass, pumping every last drop into your hole.
For several long breaths neither of you moves. You stay collapsed face-down into the mattress, trembling, his weight warm and heavy along your back. His cock stays buried inside you, softening slowly while his release leaks steadily around him, warm and sticky on your skin.
Then, impossibly, he laughs.
It slips out soft and breathless, more exhale than sound, but it blooms something warm and bright in your chest. He presses a gentle kiss to the nape of your neck, then your shoulder, then the curve of your spine where sweat has gathered.
“Okay?” he murmurs against your skin, and his voice is soft again, tender. It’s almost like the Xavier in the dream.
“More than okay,” you manage, voice hoarse. “I think you broke my brain.”
He laughs again, real this time, warm and a little embarrassed. But he doesn’t pull out. Instead his hips roll forward in a slow, possessive thrust, stirring his cum inside you with a wet sound that makes you whine.
“Xavier,” you gasp, oversensitive and full.
“Mmm.” He kisses your shoulder again, hips rolling once more, keeping himself nestled deep inside. “I like this. Feeling you around me. Feeling how full you are with me.”
“You’re ridiculous,” you groan, but the words come out fond, cracked with leftover pleasure.
He hums in agreement, face buried in your hair, hand sliding up your side to cup your breast, his thumb brushing lazily over your nipple. His hips thrust forward again, and you can’t help but whimper at the sensation of his cock stirring inside you, hardening again.
“I may have been overly optimistic about my own self-control after I kissed you tonight Three years of watching you walk into danger and pulling you back out, I thought I will handle kissing you a lot better.”
“And how did that work out for you?”
“Poorly,” he admits, smile clear in his voice. “But I regret nothing.”
He eases out slowly. You both hiss at the loss, at the rush of his cum that follows, leaking down your thighs in thick, warm trails. Before you can complain about the mess he rolls you onto your back, pulls you into his arms, and tucks you against his chest.
“Tomorrow,” he whispers against your forehead, pressing a gentle kiss there, “I will make you coffee the way you like it. I will check your stitches. I will be soft and sweet like the version you saw in that hallucination.”
He tilts your chin up, kissing you slow and tender, the same careful way he first kissed you in the dream.
“But tonight,” he murmurs against your lips, hands already sliding down your body again, “I’m not done with you yet.”
His fingers slip between your legs, gathering the mess of his cum and pushing it back inside your sensitive cunt. You shiver, already aching for more, and realize you don’t mind this version of Xavier at all.
After all, it’s the one you fell in love with.
The one you’ll always love, no matter the other many sides of himself he’ll show you in the future.
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