When Dream Daddy was first announced, I was fucking excited as hell and I just saw the dad’s opening pictures and I was in LOVE. There were rumors of one of the dads being transgender, so I was soops happy about 3 things:
1. You couldn’t tell WHICH dad just by appearance.
2. Trans representation??? In MY gay dating sim??? It’s more likely then you think.
3. He was actually called a dad, which is literally one of my high-key dreams in life.
When it was revealed to be Damien, I was so fucking over the hill with joy because SAME??? Changes name to be over dramatic as fuck, literally is over dedicated to the aesthetic, and is super edgy. We were twinsies, and I was so happy to not only have representation but to actually feel CONNECTED with it. I wanted to cossplay him, as it didn’t matter if I passed or not anymore because we were one of the same. I was so fucking happy, and I wasn’t the only one.
And you know what happened?
The fetishists took him from us.
I started noticing creeps fetishizing him verbally, and designing their dadsona to be their ‘yaoi dream’ of transgender twinks and other disgustingly fetishy stuff. Then they started drawing it, to the point where people would draw Damien in feminine lingerie with breasts and all.
I cried. I cried because this is in turn how people would see me, and think of me, and I would possibly never even know. This is going to be the first transgender man represented in a form of media for many people, and this was how they would envision us sexually after looking in the fanart. This was what people would eventually request of me, and expect from me, rather or not I had explicitly defined otherwise later in life.
I cried because no matter how masculine he was actually shown, and how handsome and strong he was, people only saw him as a vulnerable woman. This is how people will see me, and are seeing me, as this is how they are portraying the only goddamn representation of me I have actually found relatable and canon. I have no one I can cling to for support, no one to model myself after and aspire to be because I have no representation. Damien was my one hope, and now I can’t help but sob every time I think of him because I know this is how the world truly is. I was so hopeful, and happy, and enthusiastic and that was all fucking ripped away. I’m uncomfortably aware of how feminine I appear now, and have essentially dropped all my aesthetic habits out of sheer disgust with myself for ever appearing attractive to the fetishists. I’m ashamed of my body and appearance, and I am physically ill simply thinking about it. My dysphoria is reaching levels I had never considered possible before, out of the realization that to all these bastards out there I’ll never truly be considered a man. Even if I were to pass as well as Damien, it wouldn’t matter and I know that for certain now. Knowing this makes me want to fucking kill my self.
So when you say, “Let people draw what they want,” or, “It’s just a drawing,” know that it’s not a just ‘artistic expression’ you fucking fetishists. It hurts people, it fucking wrecks their self esteem and confidence. It hurts us, physically and mentally. I guarantee you some guys have been triggered to the point of self harm by this fucking disgusting situation because I sure as hell know I’ve been close. Fuck you if you draw Damien curvy and feminine, or fetishize him for being trans. You’re the scum of this earth and I hope you suffer.
yousharknotpass
gummygunk
2087
kaledo-art
blakekathryn
annaxmalina
