For anyone still keeping this fandom alive on here, in combined preparation and celebration for the movie and the new series coming, you can read about MY next gen here!!
message me if your interested in any talk about peaky, i think we got to bring it back now before the new fans come in from the movie.
hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god
if i had a nickel for every time a steven knight show had an impulsive reckless arthur with a younger brother cleaning up his messes i'd have two nickels. which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.
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The BMW would have looked out of place in the driveway of the little chateau save for the way it was worn, the once shining maroon paint now marked with age and dust and just enough scratches to look lived in.Â
âItâll be quick, I promise.â You didnât need reassurance, but thats what Steveâs words did anyway. Once the door was unlocked, you were met with the smell of cleaning supplies and Steveâs earthy cologne, the hysterical wailing of Haddie, and the frantic rambling of Robin.
âThank God you're here, Iâve tried everything, she wonât listen to me, she doesnât like the voices I did, sheâs been crying for you-â
âRobin, alright, alright, calm down⊠a minute, two tops.â He smiled back at you before slipping into her pink bedroom, hearing the faint hint of his high-pitched voice trying to lure Haddie back to sleep.
âY/N, Iâm sorry, I wanted to be able to handle it, for me, for you, but I just, kids are used to routine and she doesnât know me well enough yet and I donât know her and what she likes⊠and maybe she doesnât like me at all-â
âNo it wasnât. Itâs just startingâŠâ you smiled, taking the solitude you found yourself in making yourself feel at home.
The house itself was a stark contrast to Steveâs childhood home, this one small but perfectly lived in with stuffed animals littering the couch, a mess of papers on the kitchen counter, boots and shoes spilling over in the mud room, and candid family pictures on almost every free shelf and surface. Hanging back as Steve soothed Haddie back to sleep, the pictures were under your scrutinizing gaze; a baby picture of Haddie, a picture of Steve and Haddie with matching sunglasses at the beach and a shirt that reads âMy First Beach Day,â another picture of a house that must have been his home before this one, painted blue with butter yellow shutters, and finally, a picture of Steve with a younger Haddie on his shoulders, and a beautiful blonde woman with Haddieâs eyes standing next to him, looking at them both with love and mountain and adventure behind her.
Is that her? You asked yourself, already knowing the answer.Â
Haddieâs mom.Â
She was stunning, so at ease and beautiful without trying to be. Where you should have felt jealousy, anger perhaps, all you felt was happiness for him. This picture was shiny and new and hope captured behind a camera lens, proof that Steve had successfully moved on and made a life for himself despite all the shortcomings heâd just shared with you. Whether he had fully forgiven himself or not, he had moved on. The Steve smiling in that picture surrounded by two beautiful women? That Steve could feel truly loved. He was deserving of love, worthy of her love, and the happiest version of himself.Â
What happened?
Not realizing youâd even picked up the photo to examine it closer, Robinâs voice startled you to the point of nearly letting it fall from your hands.Â
âRobin,â you gasped, fumbling to put the picture back on the mantle with the others. You regained your breath, a quiet look passing between you two, sad and sympathetic and all but saying everything you couldnât bring yourself to. There was something too intimate about stepping into Steveâs life again after five years, and something even more intimate stepping into the place he had worked so hard to call home for his family.
Suddenly it was all too much. The house was beautiful but small, the four walls around you starting to press in on you. The house was too small because it was already too full, unable to allow someone else to move into the space, his space.Â
The world went quiet, quiet enough to hear the faint whispers down the hall, Haddieâs little voice sounding excited that you were here, quietly asking Steve if you could read her to bed because she loved the voices you made.
Suddenly it was all too much. The idea of playing house in a home that wasnât yours, sliding into a position that wasnât yours, into a role that would always belong to someone else. Not only were the walls pressing in around you, they were sucking the air out of the room, leaving you lightheaded and fighting for air.Â
âY/N?â
The world stopped, the pictures on the mantle blurs of color. Haddieâs door down the hallway opened with a slight squeak of its hinges, the sound of Steveâs heavy tred coming down the hall, accompanied by Haddieâs.
âIâm sorry.â It came out in a whisper, eyes glued to Robin, hoping sheâd understand all that you wanted to be able to say before you pushed past Robin back out into the driveway, the chilly Hawkins air hitting you in the face like the reality check you needed.
Suddenly, your world was upside down. Left was right, right was wrong, and Steve was the one you loved, the one you always loved, and now that you knew he loved you back, you couldnât do it. Couldnât find it in you to stay with a man who looked the same, sounded the same, but wasnât the same at all. He was grown, he had moved on, he knew what love was really supposed to feel like. And who were you to measure up to it now?
What had you done in all that time, years since heâd left you behind? You never left, you never got to see the world, hoping there was still something better out there for you than this. You walked the same streets day in and day out, hung out with the same people you did back in high school, you forgot what it was like to live. And now that you felt alive again, it was too scary.
âY/N, wait!â Not noticing how far your legs had already taken you, you stopped in the middle of the quiet suburban road, not sure who was speaking to you.
âI canât do it Robin. I canât.â
âWhat are you talking about?â
âI canât be with him. Iâm not supposed to be with him. Heâs supposed to be with her, Haddieâs mom. Iâm just⊠Iâm just a dream heâs chasing. A dream thatâs going to led them both to heartbreak. I canât⊠I canâtâŠâ It was difficult to find the words because there were simply none to express the overwhelming feeling carving its way into your chest.Â
The next thing Robin said- Robin, normally known as the one to ramble more than you- was simple and the only thing you needed to hear. âYour feelings are getting a little too big so your just going to run away? That doesnât seem like you.â
Running away hadnât seemed like the kind of thing Steve would have done either, but he did. And that had changed everything.
âI⊠I need some time to think. Tell him,â you swallowed hard, âtell him Iâm sorry and Iâll see him soon, yeah?â
âWhy donât you tell him yourself?â
âBecause Iâm afraid of what Iâll say if I see him right now.â
âLike what? What would you say to him? Say it to me.âÂ
Robin watched you pacing in the shadow of the streetlamps while the rest of the world slept.
âIâd, Iâd, Iâd say I forgive him. I forgive him for everything that he did and didnât do. That I forgive him for leaving but it was still the hardest 5 year never hearing his voice, and it sounds better than itâs ever sounded before. I never left home but it never felt like home until he was back. Hawkins was never the same without him, I was never the same without him. My heart was never the same without him, it was broken and shattered and in the few weeks that he came back, he peiced it back together to something that feels. And Iâm afraid if I went back right now and told him all that, Iâd be with him the way I ached to be with him when I was 18, but weâre not 18 anymore, and I canât say or do any of that in case too much has changed and my 18 year-old heart isnât enough for his 25 year-old one. Iâm not even scared he wonât live up to my expectations because⊠because I know he would, Iâm scared I wonât live up to his. What if I canât replace the woman he loved?â Silence. Eerie silence, the silence of the world asleep and the silence of them listening enveloped you until it was deafening. âWhat?â
Robin just shook her head at you, waiting until you turned and locked eyes with the very man you were talking about.
âSteve,â it come out as a gasp, perhaps shocked that he was there, or relieved that he had heard it and- was he smiling?
âIâve got that drink ready inside, if you want.â
my level of fanfiction productivity ranges from âtyping 20,000 words over the span of 3 daysâ or âopening a document and staring at it for a year without typing anything at all.â there is no middle ground.
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âI⊠Steve, I had no idea.â You said, exasperation laced in your voice. Your coffee was cold, halfway gone, and somewhat forgotten as he finished telling his side of the story. Your hand had that precarious way of finding his again, having sought it out for comfort- his or yours, or this time perhaps both- and still, your fingers were interwoven, locked, with no sense of urgency to pull away.
âItâs ok, you couldnât have.â He shrugged, all nonchalant like he didnât care when in actuality he cared so much that thinking about it made his stomach twist into knots. Even with your sincere, genuine reaction- though shocked you were, quietly taking in the news- he felt a twinge of guilt in his stomach. Almost like he was breaking his promise to you again. âI didnât leave because I wanted to leave you, any of you, I wanted to leave this place⊠this⊠hell hole. Literally. I finally had one thing too many taken away from me, I thought maybe by leaving I wouldnât lose anything else, but I was wrong.â
His mug now sat untouched too, his free hand flexing and unflexing in a fist against the tight fabric of his trousers on his thigh. The other rested comfortably in yours, and though you couldnât see it, you could always read Steve Harrington like a book.
Your brows knit together, worry lines he wished to reach over and brush away with the pad of his thumb.Â
âWhat is it?â
âI just donât understand how you think you lost meâŠâ Though it was daring to assume thatâs what he had meant, the way he slowly iced you out when he was gone from Hawkins, the way his eye had barely met yours as he explained it all. Painful enough to relive it twice, it was painful to have to feel like you were losing everything for a second time.
You found yourself being pulled back into his orbit, sitting on the edge of your seat waiting for his response. It was like you two were teenagers again, no one else around you mattered, certainly not the other lone couple in the low-lit cafe and the less-than-pleased worker behind the counter who was ready to close up for the night.
He sighed. Maybe it was better this way, you not wholly remembering how he had broken your heart, having to break his own in turn to do the heroic thing, crumbling under the stressors of everything youâd been plagued with.Â
âRemember what I told you before we split up?â He asked. Of course you remembered, suddenly he felt like the old Steve, stupid for asking a question he already knew the answer to. But this new Steve, he went on slowly, hoping to ease you back into that day, reliving that moment, filling in gaps that he feared you might still have from it. Gaps that he knew could reopen old wounds. Wounds you never had. His fears were confirmed by the confused look on your face.
âBefore we split up? Yeah, yeah you told meâŠâ
âI promise Iâll come back for you.â
âDonât go doing anything stupid Steve.âÂ
âYou mean like jump into a lake looking for another portal to hell? Too late, already did.â
Now wasnât a time for flirting, but as Robin and your other friends so obviously liked to point out, there was never a time where you and Steve werenât flirting. Your love for him went deeper than a few funny, flirty exchanges and questionable touches; you loved his heart, his flaws, the skeletons in his closet. You knew him inside and out and still you loved him unconditionally. And you were sure he harboed at least some of the same feelings based on the way he always offered a home and a shoulder to cry on when you were upset, how he always forgave you when you werenât at your best.Â
It was something that always existed among you two, among the party, written in the stars, confirmed by drunken make-outs that were waved off as mistakes. It always existed but it was never talked about. Thatâs just the way it was. Until now.
The sun had set, Hawkins nearly asleep, flashlights aglow, everyone cast in blue lights huddled around the stolen Winnebago going over the plan one final time before splitting up.Â
Youâll never forget the staleness in the air, the tingling feeling of something so amazing about to happen, something life changing. It was adrenaline mixed with fear, paranoia, and a dash of excitement. You were positive you were all viably insane for what you were about to do.
The stares from Steve didnât help to ease any tension, only made it worse because you werenât going with him and the other older teens into the Upside down. You were staying as the âadultâ on ground, on the other side, much to his displeasure.
So when the everything was solidided and everyone was beginning to go their separate ways, a light tug of your wrist had your back pushed up against the trailer, Steveâs chest and height hovering over you, both of you protected under the disguise of darkness.
âYou know thereâs still time, Nance can stay back-â
âSteve, sheâs already prepared with her rifle,â you laughed.
âOk, so how about RobinâŠâ
âYou know sheâs a clutz, youâll have to watch over her down there and sheâd be even more frantic up here on her own with the kidsâŠâ Even now she was pacing nervously, mouth moving a mile a minute going over the plan again and again with Nancy and Eddie and Dustin. Just as Steve was going to protest again, you clamed him with a warm hand prest to his chest. Over his heart. âItâs alright. Itâs wonât be that long. You protect them down there, Iâll protect these ruggrats up here, and then weâll put our monster hunting days behind us.â Laughing again, a nervous tick to find humor in the darkest of times, a poor attempt at lightening the mood, Steveâs face was a bundle of nerves. So unlike the hero you knew him to be.
âI wouldnât forget myself if you got hurt.â
âSteve, Iâll be ok⊠you canât always protect me.â
âBut I want to. I wish I could because⊠because I couldnât live with myself in anything happened to you.â
âSteveâŠâ
âY/N, I love you.â
You swore he was saying it because of the adrenaline, but the look in his eyes suggested anything but.Â
âYou do?â
Without another word, he leaned into your pace, taking all the air from you as his lips crashed against yours. Hot, desparate, needy, saying everything he wanted to.
âSteve⊠now is probably not the best time to confess your love for me,â you said, voice just a whisper against his lips.
âNo? If not at the end of the world, when?â
âNot whe Iâm vulnerable,â you pushed against his chest, trying to clear your head, trying to turn from him and the reality settling around you at his confession and what lie ahead, but in the heat of the moment all you found yourself doing was pulling him back into your space the fabric of his shirt, lips slow and meaningful.
âI love you too Steve Harrington.â
âCome with me.â He pleaded one last time. He begged. Your heart broke. You wanted to be with him, to protect him just as much as he wanted to protect you. The feeling was mutual. ButâŠ
âI canât. Iâve promised them, Steve. Max is scared as hell, Lucas and Erica theyâre just kids, I canât let them do this alone.â
And though he wanted to, there was nothing he could say to convince you. Because he knew deep down, you were right.
âI know, I know,â he assured you, comforting kisses pressed against your temple because with tears setting on his lashline, he couldnât bare to look down at you too, eyes like his.Â
âIâm coming back for you.â You nodded? Burrowing your head into his chest and taking in the feel of him, the taste of his lips, his woodsy signature smell for the first, and hopefully not the last time,
âWeâll be ok. Promise me, weâll all be ok?â
You felt sickness creeping upon you as the final moments with him tick, tick, ticked away.
âI promise. I promise weâll be ok, I promise Iâll be safe. I promise Iâll come back for you.â
Everyone was not ok, but there was too much going on around you to realize- or even care- that already one of Steveâs promises to you was broken. In reality, you never believed him to keep them, it was enough that he said it so surely in the moment to keep your bones from shaking under the pressure of the fire coming battle. His words, so strong and sure like he was? Weâre enough to get you through the dark night.
But the hiccup in your plan stood in front of you in a Hawkinsâ green and gold letterman jacket, not unlike the one Steve used to wear before you were⊠whatever you eere, when you were just another admirer from afar.
You all seemed to be the target of his revenge story, Lucas at the center of it with a bullseye on his chest. And thatâs why you were here, shoving Lucas behind you to keep eyes on Max.
âJason⊠you donât want to do thisâŠâ
Rage filled his eyes. He looked through you, gun still held high and straightÂ
âJason⊠Jason, listen to me. It wasnât Eddieâs fault, it wasnât Lucasâs thereâs-â you wanted to tell him the truth but there were two used with that 1) he would never believe it and 2) it was already too late.
He wasnât going to listen to you, a measly obstacle in his way. He clicked the safety on the gun, pointed at you before shifting its sun at Lucas. You wouldnât stand for it, lunging at Jason and nearly knocking him to the ground, the gun slightly out of both your reaches.
 âWhereâs your boy Harrington? Shouldnât he be here?â
âSteveâs got more important things to deal with right now than your sorry ass.â
It was the attitude that probably out did him in, kicks and punches knocking you off your feet. Aches and pains like you never felt, leaving your vision blurry and nothing but white light towards the end. You fought back as hard as you could yet slowly the energy drained from you to the point where you could only sit against the wall and watch. It finally stopped when Max seemed to hang in the air, knowing one way or another, especially in your condition, now there was nothing you could do for your friends. And one way or another, it was all coming to an end.
âYou know Steve, in those moments leading up until you came, I thought there was a chance you werenât⊠you werenât going to make it. And I didnât want to have to face my failure either; I didnât keep those kids safe. I wish I could have⊠but⊠but it was you showing up that made me find what little I had left to fight on.â
âI never should have left you alone. I should have been with you.â
âShould have, would have, could have. Itâs over. Itâs the last. Doesnât still really explain why you leftâŠâ
âI froze Y/N. I was so close to losing you, and I had just gotten you, weâd just professed our love. And I.. I promised you the world, I wanted to be able to promise you the world but I failed you⊠I couldnât deal with that for the rest of my life. I guess it was easier to leave than disappoint you every day.â
Chewing on your bottom lip, the taste of coffee lingering there, and the reminiscent flavor of Steveâs too sweet chapstick, you fought back tears. Wrestling with yourself about the next words you were about to say.
âSteve, I was never disappointed-â
The lights were dim, the music was soft, barely playing over the speakers now, the girl behind the counter wiping away the day's work with a sigh, and something started beeping. Loudly.
âWould⊠would you hold that thought for just a second?â He fumbled with something on the wristband of his trousers, finally stopping the beeping as he read the pager before the air spring you two was filled with the scraping of his chair against hardwood. Those worry lines you knew all too well set themselves between his big town eyes, and you nearly reached out to rub them away before thinking better of it. âIâve got to take this.â
You smiled, a forced wide smile, as he exited in a hurry, leaving you alone to finish your thoughts.
I was never disappointed⊠until the day you left.
But you thought better of finishing it when he returned to the table, what felt like ten minutes or more later, and it was obvious something was wrong as he was aligning on his jacket.
And suddenly it wasnât just two teenagers reliving their tragic love story, but a man, a father worried about his daughter and the friend he was on a date with, unsure if thereâd be another one.
âRobin called and said Haddieâs having a tantrum. Like throwing books, stomping feet, wailing, type of tantrum because she didnât tuck her in right and she wonât do the voices in the story like I do so she canât go to sleep⊠and uh, Iâm sorry. I interrupted you. Care to finish this over a drink? At my place? Come with me, itâll be quick to settle her, Robin could probably use some reassurance too..â
âSteve Harrington, you just donât want the night to end, do you?â You didnât even hesitate. King Steve would have asked to take you home for one thing and one thing only, but by the face of the worker it seemed your time here was up anyway.
âNot if I can help it.â He smirked, the tone and air about you two light again.
You were happy for the break in conversation, there wasnât much more that could be said, there was nothing left you wanted to relieve from the summer of 1986. Youâd gotten your answer; written on his face, written in the stars, confirmed by his hand in yours leading you to the parking lot and him holding the BMW door open for you like old times.Â
Heâd left because he needed to. He left with good intentions. He left because he thought itâd hurt him, and you, less than him staying ever could.
And maybe youâd soon see that he was right. Distance makes the heart grow fonder. Distance gives people time to grow.Â
And this Steve Harrington, the version you got to see spring into action that night with his daughter, was the one you were happy to have waited for.
i saw that you were asking for some dad requests and i was thinking maybe dad!john just being domestic with his kids and wife
âDaddy home!â
You were quite used to the incoherent babbles of your youngest, if not on your hip then she was always close by. Currently, she was in the high chair smearing some kind of berry puree over her face, your back to her as you slaved over the sauce for dinner. It was harder work than you remembered, actually, it had always been hard work, at one point in time you were just more used to it. Part of you, the part that was a bit sweaty from the heat of the burner, or maybe the part that could only mumble at Lucyâs words, not giving her your proper attention, it was those parts combined that made you regret dismissing the cook and the maid earlier this week. It was just easy to keep your mind busy when you literally had your hands full.
âI told you sweetheart, Daddy will be home soon. Not too long now, four more days.â You werenât ashamed to admit to counting down the days until your husbandâs return, not to the 2 year-old at least. Some of the others were old enough to know, and everyone in the household was old enough now to miss John when he was away on these ârequiredâ trips. You suggested the others play outside, figuring the sun and the distraction would do them all some good. Which it did, taking a peak out the window about the sink to see George, Peter, and William chasing after their big sister through the fields to the side of the house. The only bad thing about your motherly suggestion was that it left the house quiet.Â
Too quiet.Â
You were glad for Lucyâs babblings, however incoherent.
âDaddy home! Daddy home! See Daddy.â
âYes baby, soon.â
âNot soon enough, aye?â It was the familiar smell of tobacco that made you stop in your tracks, but it was the Brummie accent that nearly brought happy tears to your eyes before even trying towards the door. The kidsâ giggled with excitement by his side, nearly hanging on him, more excited to see him than you were.
âJohn Shelby, what is the meaning of this?â Shock, excitement, and faux annoyance folded onto your features, hands on your hips as you looked at him. Though, the longer you looked at him, the quicker you wanted him in your space again, breathing your air, taking it away from you in the style of a kiss.
âCanât a man surprise his wife and family?â His voice reflected your annoyance, though his was rooted in his surprise not being appreciated when it was far from the truth.
You thought about hitting him with a quick-witted quip, but decided better of it, not wanting your first time in two weeks being make-up sex.
âAbsolutely.â You smiled, walking towards him and finally settling against him, feeling every ounce of tension leave you when his arms wrapped strongly around your frame. âYou can surprise us any day.â A kiss to your temple his only reply until you finally unburied your head from his chest so he could kiss you properly.Â
All the kids cringed. All for Lucy, who clapped and holster, proud of herself for announcing his return.Â
So much time and yet so little had passed, but John missed you. Missed you more than you could know, though you had the slightest suspicion because of the way he looked at you when he stepped in, and the way he continued looking at you now. Eyes dark with lust and desire and hunger for you and only you.
âDaaaaaddâŠâ Katie whined, pulling at his arm for some of his attention.
It was hard for him to take his eyes off you.
âRight,â he cleared his throat, âspeaking of surprises. You lot didnât think Dadâd come âone empty handed, did ya?â
The next few minutes weâre like Christmas- special candies for the boys, a silk skirt for Katie, a pair of booties for Lucy, âand yours youâll have to wait to use in the bedroom later,â he whispered in your ear. Slapping his chest, though his humor might not have been missed, or his inappropriate innuendos, you wouldnât have it any other way.Â
You couldnât resist kissing him again, his lips tasting even better than you imagined, better than you remembered. You lost yourself in his lips, their softness, their gentleness, the way they knew exactly when to push and yours pull and vice versa, moving in synchronicity that can only be due to years of exploring each other. You only knew youâd both gotten over zealous when the kids began their teasingly disgusted sounds, and it wasnât due to the candy theyâd devoured.
âWell, now that Dadâs back, itâs his turn to tuck everyone in and read them to bed,â you declared with a devilish grin his way, the kids cheering, practically racing upstairs to change into their nightgowns. Your stories just werenât as interesting (which also meant they were more effective at sending them to sleep).Â
âAnd while you do that, Iâll be in our room⊠unwrapping that present of yours. I think I have a little surprise of my own for you.â
And you swore youâd never seen John Shelby blush, not that you could remember anyway.
Hello! I am rewatching Stranger Things for no reason and took on reading Steve imagines and oh was I surprised to realise one of my fav Peaky Blinders blogs back in the days was posting some??? Your Haddie Harrington story is so soft to read, I really enjoyed it! And as I was listening to Sunset by Caroline Polachek today, it made me think of Steve's relationship with the reader on sooo many levels - it's about loosing innocence together but finding each other again and finding warmth in each other - if you wanna give it a listen! xx
I am sorry I never say this before I dropped but this is SOO SWEEET!!!! I will definitely give it a listen and maybe even finish Haddie Harrington, boy did I have plans for that way back when
No More Polly, No More Whiskey, No More Tommy. @peakyblinders1919 - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag
