Pea Lives On

I just write a lot. Sometimes it's weirdly inspirational, sometimes its relatable bullshit and other times it's just..stuff i guess.

[pealiveson]

[pealiveson]

I have hurt alot. I cant disrespect myself by going back to situations that hurt me.

[traumasurvivors]

It’s okay if you thought you were over it but it hits you all over again. 

It’s okay to fall apart even after you thought you had it under control. 

You are not weak. Healing is messy. And there is no timeline for healing. 

[thememedaddy]

me_irl

[omghotmemes]

(confused unga bunga)

[pealiveson]

He was never the person I thought he is. Not then. Not now. I was always in love with the idea of him. I was always in love with who I imagined he was. But the truth is, I will never know who he is. It's over now.

[pealiveson]

Brain: do something 

me: Do What? You have to suggest something?

Brain: Do something!!!!

me: suggest what plEASE 

brain: no can do.

Me: ok.

brain: bUt dO sOmeThiNg *starts crying*

[pealiveson]

Man I am so fed up with school that at this point I don't even care. I just say fuck and carry on doing absolutely nothing while my mind keeps screaming in panic like it has since the 9th grade.

[pealiveson]

But that's the thing. If he came back to ruin me, I'd let him burn my life down just so I could see him one more time.

[pealiveson]

Have you all ever wondered why they came to the conclusion that Humpty is an egg? I was watching a youtube video at 3 a few months ago and it suddenly dawned upon me that it was never mentioned anywhere.

[pealiveson]

Yesterday the math teacher messaged us that she was going to take up more calc. and add another class to our schedule and I swear I felt my sanity cRaCk in that very moment.

[livelovelaugh-777]

[pealiveson]

no more character development. now i am turning into a villian

[eternalllyopal]

I am going to start carrying around raw eggs to throw at people who annoy me

[pealiveson]

same lol

[pealiveson]

Dear school,

Here’s what I’ve always wanted to say to you. Just two words.

Fuck. You.

Fuck you for making my life, a life that I loved, a life I continuously work to find worth waking up to, a living hell. Congratulations because you’ve turned a child with curiosity and a spark into a teenager who drinks tons of coffee and is never mentally free because of assignments that never stop coming. Congratulations, for turning an innocent, happy child into a teenager who loathes everyone around them, who prioritizes marks over morals and health. Congratulations, you’ve turned everything I loved about learning and made it the thing I despise the most. Congratulations, I have stopped dreaming now, I’ll go by your rules and I’ll stop thinking that I ever had a choice. Congratulations, I have given up on a life that does not revolve around academic excellence and bullshitting papers. Congratulations, you have made me hate my life worse than my worst demons ever did. Congratulations, you have turned a human into a numb robot.

I don’t feel anymore. I stopped feeling a long time ago because feelings were never as important as the test tomorrow. I stopped playing a long time ago because my joy right now was never as important as the test tomorrow. I stopped voicing my opinions a long time ago because they were never as important as the answer that the book said was correct. I stopped learning a long time ago because it didn’t matter as long as my marks were still low. I stopped loving myself a long time ago because I am not lovable and I am a disgrace if I am rebellious and don’t give you the grades you want. I stopped wanting things a long time ago because I don’t deserve them unless the exam scores are 100 percent.

I stopped living a long time ago because it was never as important as going to school tomorrow.

So congratulations. Congratulations for taking a little human and killing them inside and producing an academic ghost of a robot.

Congratulations. What a fucking feat. You have killed my soul and replaced it with bitter, deep-rooted anger.

Congratulations, for ruining all our lives.

Fuck you.

[funnytwittertweets]

[pealiveson]

[thoughtkick]

“So please ask yourself: What would I do if I weren’t afraid? And then go do it.”

— Unknown

[pealiveson]

I did guys. It wasn't very pretty. My heart is broken now. Yikes.

[thoughtkick]

“We are afraid to care too much, for fear that the other person does not care at all.”

— Eleanor Roosevelt