The Art of Letting Go
January is a weird month. There’s no other way to say it. It’s a transition month and with any form of transition, a lot of s**t comes up (Sheryl Paul sums it up in the best possible way here).
After the pure chaos that accompanies most of December, there is a form of a “come down” that occurs when the holidays end, the excessive and unnecessary spending lets up, the parties stop, the binge eating and drinking ceases, the perpetual hangover finally dissipates (hopefully) and Mariah Carey’s “All I Want For Christmas Is You” finally stops playing on repeat (much to my shagrin). It’s a time of year that can be filled with family and love (and sadness for many) but it can also be a physically and emotionally draining time with many people finding themselves exhausted and relieved for it all to be over with.
…….and this is when January begins.
In the ultimate contradiction, it begins as both a death and as a fresh new beginning. Always a scary word to hear, especially in our society, but the end of a year is truly a death. Physically, it marks the end of another year gone by in our life and emotionally it can mark the death of many things that we process either consciously or subconsciously. On the other hand, with plentiful New Year’s resolutions and intentions made, it is also the start of hope; hope for the year to come with renewed energy behind new (or old) goals and dreams. This is why January is such a unique month - because it marks both death and life at the same time. It calls on us to mourn and let go but to also hope and dream……….. however, it seems that most move right to the goal-setting and resolution-making and actually skip the more important (and obviously harder) stage which is the actual mourning / letting go.
Whether we recognize it or not, and especially after the madness of December, there is a part of ourselves, our soul, that yearns for introspection; for some hibernation; for stillness; for solitude. I believe that January calls out to us to press the pause button and take a look around both internally and externally. It begs us to ask, what do I want? More love, a new job, more money, etc. are all great but what about the yearnings of the soul. What does IT want? If we listen, January pushes us to question what is working. What can be released? And most importantly, what no longer serves us that needs to be needs to be let go?
Letting go can be a complicated concept because it can mean something different to any person. Of course the fundamental idea of releasing something in your life is a common thread, but besides that ‘letting go’ is a bit amorphous in its meaning and even more so in its execution. It gets even more complicated because we often push ourselves instead of listening to ourselves and ignore the calling to go within to see and feel what is going on inside of us. We have to slow down. We have to really listen. It could mean saying no to that date or that dinner or even a workout class……..but hearing what our body and soul really have to say will never happen by keeping ourselves constantly busy and saying “yes” when we really need to be saying “no” (or “maybe later”).
We decide that we need to let go of something but we expect it to happen right then and there. Often times, we (consciously or unconsciously) expect the process to be over with when we make the choice to free ourselves. We want the instant gratification of feeling the relief of fully letting go without going through the process, which can be physically and emotionally messy. But the truth is that letting go is fundamentally messy because it will *always* bring up your s**t.
Maybe letting go is a clearly defined path for some where the next step is clear as day but maybe for others it’s a long winding, confusing road that takes you two steps forward and one step back. Perhaps it brings up those difficult feelings of confusion, frustration, sadness, anger, fear and of course uncertainty but perhaps processing those feelings is exactly what needs to happen for the shedding to occur to set the stage for some immense growth. At the end of the day, serious growth rarely seems to happen when dealing with the “easy” emotions of joy, contentment and ease. This is not to say that these things are not important in life because they very much are and should be embraced with open arms. In no way shape or form should you solely focus on the “difficult” emotions and ignore joy and happiness for the sake of growth. They should both be embraced equally when they show up because they go hand in hand, unable to exist without the other.
I’m not sure but maybe letting go means letting go for now or maybe it means forever…..or maybe it means letting go of knowing the answer to that.
Maybe letting go doesn’t mean giving up, but giving in; giving in to faith; putting trust in something bigger than you because you realize that the situation (or whatever you want/need to let go of) is…….well, bigger than you.
Despite the sometimes gut-wrenching fear, maybe letting go is the next step in the strengthening or deepening of your faith…...a faith that you may or may not have even known existed within you.
Maybe letting go is the one thing that you don’t want to do, but is the very thing that you need to do to learn how to trust the unknown in front of you. Maybe it’s a leap or maybe it’s baby steps that in retrospect are the equivalent of a leap. Maybe each baby step actually feels like a leap but you do it anyways because something deep down inside is ready…..or some higher source is telling you that you are ready. Whatever the move may be, taking that blind leap (step) into that unknown is trusting that whatever happens is not only what was meant to happen, but also for your highest good. That unknown may actually end up being the next great thing in your life.
On a daily basis we are letting go in small ways like shedding the events of the day during a nighttime yoga class (or with a glass(es) of wine)........ or in big ways like leaving a relationship or job that no longer fits us. I believe that we are always in the process of letting go (or at least we should be) but January in particular gives us a little more room for it due to its unique positioning amongst the year. No single way of letting go is better than another - it looks and feels different on every person and that should be respected.
I guess in the end part of that letting go is learning to embrace it all; the good and the bad, the highs and the lows, the contradicting emotions, the confusion and everything in between. Maybe learning this is one of the truest declarations of self love; learning to shed what is no longer needed and what keeps you stuck and instead start (or continue) your journey back to You; back to your center, your core; the journey towards more joy and the life that you are meant to have.