Mary/20/wrestling messy blog I post on just about anything I like and support. Might reblog NSFW stuff from time to time. on a semi hiatus due to mental health stuff+uni since december, will come back eventually lmao
IGNORE THIS IāM REALLY NOT IN A GOOD FUCKING MOOD AND I JUST NEED TO VENTĀ
I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST ANYBODY ON HERE IāM JUST REALLY SOUR AND PISSED AND THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE I CAN SCREAM INTO THE VOID
I NEED TO JUST SCREAM.
my whole fucking family did NOTHING for years in terms of emotional support or help while i was going through some very low depressive periods.
I had to manage myself, get to a psychologist by myself as soon as I hit 18, and act like everything was fine for a long fucking time, and I apparently successfully did that, since my own fucking brother came into my room and simply tried to just....pep talk me?????? saying that i just need to get my shit back together???? Saying that heās worried Iāll become like my schizophrenic hoarder aunt? THe same dude who just fucking screamed at me and just fucking never lets me speak when we debate?????
my fucking mother has to basically try and pry any type of information from me because she realized she missed the time when we couldāve built a good relationship, so NOW she wants to try again. Fuck her. Iām tired, I donāt want ANYBODY closer than what I want. And most importantly I donāt give a flying fuck about her. NOt anymore. I am civil and polite, because thatās what I know is the right thing to do, BUT i canāt fucking wait to just get the fuck out and never see them again.
They never cared, they never will, and if NOW they act like they ever did I will never believe them. Iām fine with having a cold relationship with them, roommate-ish, but if they fucking dare to get closer than that Iāll lose it. Iām lying through my fucking teeth to them. I donāt even fucking care anymore.Ā
My bed of lies will forever be more comfortable than the bed of thorns THEY want me to lie in.
I am not scared of ending all of this, I just need a fucking push and thatās it. I have nothing to my name, and nobody will shed a single fucking tear for the worthless piece of garbage that I am. I have the letter ready, Iāve had that since 2018, Just need to tweak a few things and thatās it. Or maybe I should just do it without leaving anything and just disappearing.
Iāve done nothing of note, I havenāt wrote anything that I can proudly claim as mine, just stupid fucking poetry of a fakely depressed dumbass who has had their heart broken a couple of times and decided to ultimately isolate themselves, one that can barely bring themselves to answer an email or a message, one that has lost every single ounce of lust for life. Iāve always thought I wasnāt even supposed to reach the mark of my 18th year on this planet, so maybe Iām just a little bit late and can still catch up with the promise I muttered when I tried to die the first time.
I've been on tumblr for 6 years and never done one of this, might as well start doing them.
I know this year was rough for a lot of people, I'm fortunate enough to be healthy and in good spirits (hope you all are too).
This year I created 2 side blogs and made a lot of friends, so I wanted to let you all know that i appreciate each and everyone of you, even if we've never talked, I love you and you deserve the very best š
Tumblr only let's me tag 50 blogs, sorry if you're not included here, and sorry if tumblr doesn't tell you I've tagged you, you know this things don't work.
THIS IS YOUR FINAL WARNING TO GET YOUR MEDS BEFORE THE PHARMACIES CLOSE
they are going to be CLOSED OVER THE HOLIDAYS and so will the DOCTORS WHO SIGN YOUR PRESCRIPTIONS.
if you don't have enough meds to last the next THREE WEEKS, put in for your repeats and refills tomorrow! that's Wednesday! do it! don't go to hospital at New Year because you ran out of stuff!
This is more common than you may think. Many urban areas that have high homeless populations are using ādefensive architectureā more and more. Sloped and divided benches to keep the homeless from sleeping on them. Spikes placed in sheltered areas where they tend to stay. City planners argue they are only trying to relocate the homeless, pushing them to see out shelters and homeless centers. But that rings hollow. They just want them out of sight. I donāt have a simple, easy solution. But this isnāt it. Making things harder for the homeless does not help them.
All these corporations have so much money to spend it on putting spikes on places where homeless people sleep yet absolutely NOTHING goes to those who are homeless. This country really doesnāt give a fuck about the well being of homeless people at all
By the way you can remove these spikes with wither a sledgehammer and a heavy metal spike (sharpened crowbar with a downwards slant and the handle removed or something similar) or a concrete saw if youāve got one of those. Itās illegal to do but it also only takes about an hour if there arenāt too many spikes.
Alternatively, if you put a mattress over them they become useless, although you do risk having the city take the mattress. Normally they donāt reinstall the spikes if you keep removing them.
As for the benches, a concrete or hand held circular saw can cut off the arm rests of the benches with too many arm rests to sleep on. Just remember: Wear protective goggles and practice proper safety if using power tools. All of this stuff can be bought at Home Depot or your local variant of Home Depot.
For legal purposes I have to advise you that this is illegal and Iām not advising you to do this.
Also!! If you wear a hard hat- orange construction vest and carry a clipboard people are more likely to believe your legit and not call the cops on you
this is the curry man. like if you appreciate him. reblog if you would eat his hand-crafted meal. ignore to spit in his artisanal curry and make his 10 children go hungry.
Iām Brazilian and my strongest memory relating to a roundabout was when me and my family were walking near my grandparentās house. My little brother asked what the circle in the ground was and my dad explained the concept of a roundabout, āyouāre supposed to go around it, so the road is more organized, look, thereās a car coming, youāll see how it worksā and that car just. Fucking ran over it. Dude just went forward like the road was straight. We never saw anyone do that again and Iām still not over it
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