Human with a blog

Just a human being, writing one post a day to forcefully let their feelings out in order te stay happy ✌️

[honeysguts]

[xcleanx]

“Never been ashamed of trying. Effortlessness is a myth.”

[sweetlikeacherry]

hmm I think I will simply devote this year to loving myself more

[peculiarlymyself]

Sunday, May 8th, 2022.

One entry, each day. A way to forcefully write down my thoughts and feelings, hoping to let go of things for once instead of bottling up emotions as per usual.

The thing that usually scares me the most while writing or talking about my feelings is exactly that, my feelings. I know what I’m feeling and I’m ‘feeling’ in a healthy, stable way. It’s just that when they come up, the tears also come up and I’m so insanely tired of crying. But okay, got to push through and simply make a promise to myself to write it all down. One entry, each day. One moment of creating a safe space for myself, each day.

—

It’s been almost 6 weeks since the break up and since we stopped living together.

Context: we bought a house, broke up, now we switch living here week-week.

We barely see each other, except for when we need practical things discussed. This morning he unexpectedly came home because he needed a shower. I’ve been wanting to talk to him about everything for weeks now and felt like this was my chance. I asked if he was in a hurry and he simply replied yes and went on with his day. No chance to talk, again nothing.

I shouldn’t feel disappointed or annoyed or anything, really. After all, this is why the relationship ended, no communication. So, I really shouldn’t have expected a conversation after we broke up either. Just sucks to move on without closure, without really knowing the “why” of what went on in his head. It certainly doesn’t help the insecurities.

I don’t want to hate him, I don’t want to be angry with him. I hope it never comes to that. But for God’s sake, please have a conversation with me so I don’t have to resort to hate in order to get over you.