Things I Wanted To Say But Never Did.

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This ….

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🖤 The Quiet Weight Men Carry

They say men are “strong.”

That they’re the backbone, the rock, the ones who don’t break.

But what they don’t tell you… is that rocks still sink when the weight is too much.

For too many men, the struggle isn’t loud.

It’s silent.

It’s in the unanswered “How are you?” where the truth is swallowed and replaced with “I’m fine.”

It’s in the smile at work, the laugh with friends, the steady hands — all hiding the storm beneath.

Society has taught men that tears are weakness, that asking for help is failure, that vulnerability is something to be ashamed of.

And so they carry it alone.

Through sleepless nights.

Through days where their chest feels heavy, but they can’t explain why.

Through the crushing thought: “If I fall apart, who will hold everything together?”

But here’s the truth:

Strength is not the absence of struggle — it’s the courage to face it.

It’s sitting across from a friend and saying, “I’m not okay.”

It’s picking up the phone before the darkness convinces you not to.

It’s allowing yourself to feel, even when the world tells you not to.

To every man fighting a battle he can’t name — you are not broken, and you are not alone.

Your worth is not measured by how much you endure in silence.

There is no shame in speaking your truth.

There is no weakness in seeking help.

Your life matters far more than your ability to “be strong.”

Check in on your brothers, your fathers, your friends.

Listen without judgement.

Because sometimes, the smallest conversation can save the heaviest soul.

🖤 It’s okay to not be okay.

And it’s okay to ask for a hand when you can’t carry it anymore.

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• You really wanna know how I feel? Fine, I’ll tell you …..

I feel as if l'm nothing, I wake up every morning to feel the same as the day before. I'm drained, l'm lost, I'm struggling with life. I feel easily replaced and always left out. I feel as if I will never be anybody's first choice because I'm always the backup. Everyone has

someone that they will choose before me. l've finally accepted that I am no one's favorite person. I feel as if everything I love I just lose it Whether it's a person or an object. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really that bad, I'm never happy, I always fake it. I'm disappointing people, making mistakes, I feel like there's something wrong with me. I try my hardest but no one ever sees it and always says I don't try but I do. I have no one and if I do they always act like they don't love me.

I feel like such a failure.

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• Sometimes you don't realize the weight of something you've been carrying, until you feel the relief of its release. ...

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•I DONT WANT TO GROW UP ..

We wake up every morning assuming there will be another.

We make plans for next year as if it's guaranteed. We push our dreams into the future, believing there will always be time.

But one day, you won't wake up.

One day, you will have put off your dreams for the last time. You will have told yourself "next year" one too many times. And there won't be a next year.

What are you waiting for?

The promotion? The savings account to hit a certain number? Some mystical moment when everything finally feels safe?

Here's the truth: It will never feel safe. You will never feel ready. But life doesn't wait. It moves with or without you.

So go. Book the flight. Quit the job. Write the book. Fall in love. Watch the sunrise from the top of a mountain.

Because at 2 a.m., when the world is quiet, the only thing worse than failing is realizing you never even tried.

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•READ THIS IF YOU’RE TRYING TO REBUILD

A love that you thought was timeless, spoiled. It rotted away in the ugliest way. It was relentless in the way it broke you down, tested you, and made you question your worth. You were always among a chaotic storm. You were constantly in savior mode, trying to fix what was never meant to be fixed, pouring everything into someone who was never truly there. You tried holding onto the idea of what it could be, not seeing how bad you were suffocating. The love you gave became a weight for you to carry. You lost pieces of yourself along the way, pieces that were never meant to be given away. You began to doubt your value, wondering if you were ever enough, or if the storm was always meant to be where you reside. But listen, within this wreckage, notice the cracks in the foundation. Allow your mindset to shift, not with hope for them, but for the faith in yourself to be able to rebuild. The storm was never about you, it was something much deeper, but when the dust settles, and the impact of the aftermath fades, you'll see—the greatest love wasn't the love you had to fight for, it was the love you were neglecting all along—the love that is you.

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• THE ONES WHO AREN’T ‘LIKED’

I naturally empathize with the ones people don't generally 'like.' I'm not quick to take a side. I'll make up my own mind. And I'll tell you why.

I've come to realize many don't like honesty. They don't like when people set boundaries. Standing up for yourself will reveal who your true friends are. I've witnessed the warmest, most generous souls appear to turn cold. The thing is, these people don't flip a switch overnight. We should be asking why. What makes a person finally have enough to isolate themselves, trust no-one, and kick the validation of being likeable?

In reality, over the years, you stop giving a shit. You begin to prioritize inner peace and integrity. Your filter for genuine people becomes more powerful. You value actions, not only words. You see things for what they are. And it will make you see the world differently. It will make others see you differently too. I, too, stopped caring about being liked.

Why we should hold space for grace is we don't know what it has taken for somebody to become that way. It doesn't happen overnight. If you could imagine the years, if not decades, of betrayal, broken promises, and insincerity theyve endured, you'd eventually understand the warmth doesn't leave these people. It just redirects to the ones they can trust and do love.

It's also why I've stopped taking things so personally. If someone shows anger and rudeness, the chances are they have rarely been shown the opposite. Hold understanding and focus on being the best version of yourself. Show others that genuine care and love do exist, and you'll see them open up in ways they haven't ever before.

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• I’LL BE THE VILLAIN

I once believed I needed to tell my side of the story. I didn't want to be seen as the bad guy in any story because I knew my intentions, and my feelings were pure. I couldn't stand for someone painting me in a bad light when I did everything I could to love, understand, and show up the best way I knew how. I wanted the truth to be known, for my heart to be seen as it truly was, not twisted by someone else's perception of me. I thought maybe if I told my side of the story, the narrative would change.

But it didn't, people will always choose to believe what they want to believe. Some have decided on their storyline, and some have planted that belief in their mind until they believed it to be true.

The truth is, I didn't need to prove myself to anyone. I didn't need to search for validation to prove my heart, intentions, or feelings. Some truths don't need to be proven to be real. Some stories don't need an audience to validate the truth. I decided to be the villain in their story, I'm satisfied with letting them live with the narrative that helps them heal. If someone couldn't see, feel, or understand me-that was enough clarity for me to see myself out of the story. I know my feelings were valid. I know real peace comes from understanding that not every story needs defending-sometimes, the truth is enough.

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Manipulation is when they blame you for your reaction to their toxic behavior, but never discuss the disrespect that triggered you.

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Are you familiar with the “Let Them” theory?

I’ll tell you the more I grow the more I am okay with accepting the “Let Them” in my own life and relationships. Even family can mistreat and disrespect you.

This is something that took me a very long time to learn. I used to tolerate a lot because I didn't want to lose people. I learned the hard way if they were really my people they would never treat me like that. Don't make the mistake of being so understanding and forgiving that you overlook the fact that you're being repeatedly disrespected.

Let them be upset.

Let them judge you.

Let them misunderstand you.

Let them gossip about you,

Let them ignore you.

Let them be "right."

Let them doubt you.

Let them not like you.

Let them not speak to you.

Let them run your name in the ground.

Let them make you out to be the villain.

Whatever it is that people want to say about you, let them!

Kindly step aside and LET THEM.

The hard truth is they know how much they are hurting you. They just simply don't care. They did it knowing it could cause them to lose you. They did it anyway. People that love you care about how they make you feel.

The end.

Let them go.

There will be people that would rather lose you than be honest about what they've done to you. Let them go.

The lack of respect was the closure. The lack of apology was the closure. The lack of care was the closure. The lack of acountability was the closure. The lack of honestly was the closure. Let them go.

Make the decision to no longer sit at tables where you might be the topic when you get up. Let them go.

You can still be kind. You can even still love them deeply. But do it from the distance they created in their words and actions. Access to you is a privilege they have proven they can’t be trusted with. Let them go.

You don’t need to tell your side of the story. God already knows. Let God fight the battle for you. Let them go.

It’s taken me a long time to get here. Sleepless nights, countless tears, managing a range of emotions filled with anger, disappointment, confusion and deep hurt. Lots of self reflection, self preservation, deep prayer and seeking wisdom from those much wiser than me.

If you are struggling with this please know you are not alone. We will never understand why hurt people hurt people. But we can do the hard work to grow ourselves. Because healed people do in fact heal people.

Don’t you dare let them steal your joy.

Don’t you dare let them steal your light.

Don’t you dare let them steal your peace.

You are in control of that.

Hold tight to what you can control and release your grip on what you can’t control…..

Let them go. 😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨😮‍💨💯

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I don't think people understand how stressful it is to explain what's going on in your head when you don't even understand it yourself.

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I wish that you could see the pain that I've seen. all of the times I spent being not me, I hope you know that there's so much going on in my head.

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ANXIETY isn't just having trouble breathing. ANXIETY is waking up at 3am from a dead sleep because your heart is racing. ANXIETY erupts for no reason. ANXIETY is stressing over things that may or may not be real. ANXIETY is questioning your faith, how could my creator allow me to feel this way?. ANXIETY is calling your sister 3 hours before she gets up to work, hoping that she will respond so you can stop thinking about the attack. ANXIETY is a shower at 2 a.m. ANXIETY is your changing mood in a matter of minutes. ANXIETY is an uncontrollable tremor. ANXIETY is crying, real and painful tears. ANXIETY is nauseous. ANXIETY is crippling. ANXIETY is dark. ANXIETY is having to make up an excuse after a behavioral attack. ANXIETY is fear. ANXIETY is concern. ANXIETY is physically and emotionally draining. ANXIETY is raw. ANXIETY is real. ANXIETY is a fight with your spouse, even if you are not angry. ANXIETY is breaking you at the slightest annoyance. ANXIETY is flashbacks. ANXIETY is "what if?" Anxiety is a lot of "what's wrong" and "I don't know."

Your feelings matter just because you're upset by something that others do, it doesn't make you crazy or worthless. Some of the most successful people in life have anxiety. This is not your fault. This is not the end. You are strong. You're smart. You are brave. You are worthy.

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People like me don’t have people, we are the people that people have.