[penstainsandrugs]

When do you stop fearing death, and begin fearing life

I’m so sad

[penstainsandrugs]

I feel my heart aching behind my rib cage, it’s been breaking since the first day I met you

The pain is unbearable (via penstainsandrugs)

[penstainsandrugs]

My first love, my first heartbreak 1. I cried, and oh how much I cried, tears stained down my cheeks 2. I tried to rub your scent off in the shower until blood was pouring out of my skin 3. I tried to rip my heart out of my rib cage, and that’s when I found out my heart was still with you 4. I kissed a boy to forget what your lips ever tasted like 5. I drank various bottles of alcohol just to forget what you look like 6. I stayed up countless nights reading old conversations, and looking at old pictures

But I’ll never forget you (via penstainsandrugs)

[penstainsandrugs]

Thank you for breaking my heart multiple times

I don't know why I still love you

[penstainsandrugs]

My heart has been broken for 5 years over you. Please forgive me

excerpt from a book i’ll never write 

[penstainsandrugs]

Fucking hell, a year ago you were mine

Why does it still hurt (via penstainsandrugs)

[penstainsandrugs]

Today I realized that my heart breaks a little bit more every time you talk to me, today I realized I'm more in love with you than I will ever love any one, today I realized that you may be my only true love, today I realized that my heart only beats for you, today I realized that you're my drug and I've been suffering from withdrawals for the past two years. Today I also realized that you moved on, you don't love me anymore, and it's funny, cause you can't blame people for who their heart beats for, just like the way I can't change the way my heart beats for you. You're trapped in my heart, and the key is in the deep deep ocean, never to be unlocked again.

My heart will only beat for you

[penstainsandrugs]

"You were from my past" I just heard this on the new frank ocean album, I couldn't help but pause the song and think, off course you were the first thing on my mind. Keeping in mind that this sentence could possibly mean anything, but to me it got me wondering, am I from your past? Am I a good thought? Do you smile when you think about me, or do you wish you never met me? Which led me to thinking, again, did you ever love me? For some reason this question haunts me it's what I think about everyday.

[penstainsandrugs]

Ever since I fell in love with you my life has turned into a waiting game. Waiting for you to text me, waiting for you to answer me, waiting for you to Love me, waiting waiting waiting. And I hate it, I hate how madly I'm in love with you, it's ridiculous how I'd give you my heart if you asked for it, I hate myself , I hate myself more than I've ever hated anything

[nxxurr]

This is the unhappiest I’ve ever been

[penstainsandrugs]

I'm still as in love with you as the first day, if not more

But you're gone

[penstainsandrugs]

My first love, my first heartbreak 1. I cried, and oh how much I cried, tears stained down my cheeks 2. I tried to rub your scent off in the shower until blood was pouring out of my skin 3. I tried to rip my heart out of my rib cage, and that's when I found out my heart was still with you 4. I kissed a boy to forget what your lips ever tasted like 5. I drank various bottles of alcohol just to forget what you look like 6. I stayed up countless nights reading old conversations, and looking at old pictures

But I'll never forget you

[penstainsandrugs]

You said you loved me, but why did you leave

Drunk thoughts

[penstainsandrugs]

I don’t know what I’m more afraid of, loving you or losing you

9:13pm (via penstainsandrugs)

[penstainsandrugs]

I feel my heart aching behind my rib cage, it’s been breaking since the first day I met you

The pain is unbearable

[penstainsandrugs]

It doesn’t hurt until after a month, after you’ve denied that he left for so long It doesn’t hurt until you kiss every boy you meet and all you could think about was his whiskey stained lips It doesn’t hurt until you sit in your bed at 1 am, and all you could think of was the way “I love you” fell off his lips It doesn’t hurt until you sit in the shower and you try to scrub his scent off of you but it never really leaves It doesn’t hurt until you drink every bottle of alcohol you could find and you still feel empty It doesn’t hurt until he consumes every drunk and sober thought

Heartbreak

[penstainsandrugs]

I don't think I'll ever love anyone the way I loved you

My heart and soul is left with you