[peonieslibrary]

hi! welcome to my safe space where i spew my incoherent thoughts and scream over amazing writers <3

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books i've read:

book i (tbz) | book ii (atz) | book iii (p1h) | book iv (misc)

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[mondeobiteam]

Kevin - Behind The Moon

Pairing: Kevin x gn!reader Type: Fluff, Slight Angst Warning(s): - Word count: ~1.5k Author's note: I've written this before and the original title was Moon For Your Thoughts? but upon seeing Kevin's first Tiktok post caption which is this fic's title, I changed it to that instead hehe I was listening to Howie Day's Collide and thought it was perfect to pair it up with this fic :) please enjoy and I hope you look at the moon sometimes and think of Kevin Moon 🌙

It's never easy to let anyone into your thoughts, a closed area where everything would unleash itself with so many emotions if someone were to touch it, it will crumble.

But.

There was something about the moon tonight.

The day has been long, back-to-back fashion shows and having to coordinate all the models for the outfits you created. But you couldn't be more happier knowing how hard you worked for this. The event coming into place and having it at one of your bucket lists of places to go to which is, Paris.

Even the hotel you stayed at has a balcony that is facing the Eiffel Tower, what a dream.

"Your designs are absolutely magnificent, y/n!" Another designer friend of yours from New York, goes by his work name New complimented you, making you smile in content.

"Oh, it could be better in the future." You replied, looking down shyly before shaking his hand in agreement.

"We are always improving, y/n. This piece in particular is perfect for the winter. I can't wait for people to use it!"

"Aw, thanks a lot. I can't wait to see people using your lovely spring edition for this year!" You said excitedly, giving him a hug before leaving.

After grabbing a few drinks from the counter of refreshments, you prepared yourself to go back to the hotel. The time is already showing a quarter past 12 a.m which means you only have a small amount of time to try and catch the beautiful lights being shown on the Eiffel Tower before it comes to an end.

You heard from others that the ending to the light show has a more dramatic sparkle so with hurried steps to catch the cab you just called, you get in and headed towards the hotel.

The hotel wasn't too far from the venue, around 10 minutes by car because you wanted to save the trouble of being late and that means giving you ample time to get to the square.

Looking out the car window was one of your favorite things to do, not because of feeling like you're in a melodramatic movie but how the night lights of the city giving you a sight you cannot put into words. It was so beautiful, seeing every one of them twinkle like the stars above have been placed onto the buildings.

As you arrive to your hotel, you thanked the driver and hands them your cash. Making your way up to your room, entering it and dropping your things before changing into something casual that will be covered with a long coat to prevent the night chills biting at your skin.

With a small touch-up, you grabbed your personal belongings and headed out to walk towards Place du Trocadéro.

Instead of going to Champ de Mars, you wanted to see more impressive architecture and beautiful gardens. It warms your heart to see tourists and even some locals going to the same place to see the last hour of the light show.

With about a 15-minute walk, you gasped and saw the Eiffel allowing itself to blast magical sparkly lights at night, illuminating the city. When you arrived at the photo spot, you quickly took lots of pictures and videos before seeing a well-known figure you could never forget.

His red hair seemed to sparkle together with the lights as he continued to capture photos from his camera.

"Kevin Moon?"

He turned to find you calling his name which he never found appealing, but when it leaves your mouth, the feeling made his heart swell.

"Y/n. Long time no see."

Kevin Moon was no stranger to you; he was everything you could name of. Your first friend and also your first rival. Both of you do not share the same interests but knowing that both wanted to be better than the other, the rivalry commenced.

Even your personalities were far different, you were more open and he was quite closed. Getting into his head was like trying to crack open a hard nut. Until now, you only know bits and pieces of his brain to be exact.

Like his name, where he went to school, where he's from but you never knew what he liked to eat, what he likes to do or how he makes his eggs, if he even likes eggs.

One thing he couldn't hide was how much he loves coffee. He tried to sneak in one, but you caught it from the corner of your eye and busted him.

Always with his iced cappuccino in hand, he even has one in his hand now when he's not holding his camera.

You finally snapped out of your reminiscing thoughts when Kevin snapped his fingers together.

With a chuckle, you started the convo.

"Moon for your thoughts?"

He finally lets out a boisterous laugh from his stomach, a laugh you have never heard of from him. His laughs were always small and quiet like how he is. An awkward social butterfly.

"That's a nice pun you got there."

"Why thank you, I am the best aren't I?" You sneered, giving him a sly grin.

"I can only agree, y/n."

You learned throughout the years that Kevin Moon never opened up his thoughts, not the ones that are too deep you have to fork out carefully. But now, in the current time, Paris being the place and gazing at the Eiffel Tower draped in sparkly lights together, he is vulnerable.

You found that even the best fall down sometimes, he was unsure of what he wanted to do. He mentioned he dropped out of university to pursue music but as he undergoes training, he thought of quitting.

It must've been hard for him, you thought. You also learned that he is currently where he is because of his uncertainty to choose. His passion was music but it was too overwhelming for him.

"How come you never told me any of this, Kev?"

He smiled lightly, looking down and back up at the moon that is currently glistening brightly.

"Is it easy to tell others of your inner thoughts?"

You gulped, swallowing the lump in your throat. He's right.

With cautious words chosen, you asked him again. "So, you're doing photography now?"

"Yeah. It just felt right, like I never have to compete with others. Sure, there are other great photographers out there, but I feel great in what I'm currently doing. Holding this camera gets me going."

"I like this version of Kevin."

"Hm?"

"I'm kinda tired of being a social butterfly. I guess I wanna be an awkward social butterfly like you."

He laughs, bumping his shoulder with yours. "You're successful, y/n. Look at you, making your own name in the fashion industry. It's funny, isn't it?"

"What is?"

"That I always tell you I would win over you in everything. I did that in academics, art, instruments and surprisingly, photography."

You scoffed, rolling your eyes at your failed photography session you had with him back then where you took a picture of the right side more than the center side.

"Yeah, yeah. You always win, Kevin. It's no wonder why I couldn't stand being near you every time we passed each other in the school hallway."

"But," He paused for a while and looked at you in the eyes with a smile that looked the sincerest you have ever saw someone give you.

"You are more successful than I am."

As if the cold wind came in cue, the cold breeze washed over you while you threaten to stop your tears from falling. "Don't say that Kev. You are amazing at what you're doing, now and before."

He turned to look at you with eyes that look like glass forming droplets of water, sniffling a bit as he also tried to hold back his tears.

"You don't know that, you never saw my works yet. I was completely missing in action."

Huffing the cold air that is visible from your mouth, you hummed. "I don't need to see to know. You're hard-working and that's enough to convince me."

"I suppose you're right. Even though it kills you to admit that I'm always better than you, right?" He chuckled, moving his right hand to squeeze your left hand.

Your whole body stiffened at his contact, you never knew that him holding your hand would cause you to react like that.

"Let's call it even now, shall we?" You grinned, moving your hand to finally hold his and interlocking your fingers together.

Your actions made him shy and even after all this time, he finds himself tangled up in you.

The past may have made both of you rivals but it opened up a new opportunity when you asked him to be your designated photographer in the upcoming fashion week in Canada.

"A partnership?" He cooed.

You simply laughed, throwing your head back a bit. "I better see you outdo all those other photographers."

He flashed his signature smirk before taking your pictures with the Eiffel Tower in the background as the lights slowly dissipated.

Kevin Moon was never open about his thoughts but there was something about the moon tonight.

You liked it and somehow, you find that both of you indeed collide.

[sxfterhearts]

enchanted

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ wedding groomsmen au!jiung (side-best man!keeho) x reader ୨୧ ‧₊˚ ⋅

♡ genre/warnings: fluff

♡ summary: this night is flawless, don't you let it go / i'm wonderstruck, dancing around all alone / i'll spend forever wondering if you knew / i was enchanted to meet you

♡ word count: 2,599 words

♡ a/n: it's been so long since i sat down properly to write!! this is partially inspired by my cousin's wedding (except there were no single men for me hmph) hope you enjoy reading <33

//

“you’ve got to meet him, trust me. he’s a little taller than you, dresses well, nice smile, and he’s kind, loves animals…”

“sis, hold still!” you playfully scold her between fits of laughter, fingers nimbly dancing across her shoulders as you adjust the soft fabric of her dress. “we’re here to celebrate you, so quit talking about me.”

“but y/n, i really have a good feeling about this. he even volunteers at the animal shelters on –”

“that’s enough.” you reprimand her, lips forced into a tight line. “if you keep talking and moving like that your veil might just fall off your big head.”

a sharp rap at the door signals the arrival of keeho, the best man. he steps in, cream-coloured suit crisp and blonde hair impeccably styled to complete the look. 

“isn’t it bad luck to see the bride so early?” your elder sister wonders aloud.

“i bring nothing but good luck and blessings, sissy.” keeho retorts, unable to resist the temptation of teasing her, even on her wedding day. “besides, i’m a busy man! i play on both teams today – and don’t forget, under all those layers of white, you’re still my baby cousin.”

you move aside as your sister lands a playful punch on his shoulder, causing him to double over in fake agony. 

“that’s great, now do that again – standing up.” the photographer, who you almost forget exists, calls from the corner.

amongst the shutter of flashes and lightning-fast instructions, the two pose for several photos in the shelter of your sister’s wedding bedroom.

“oh, y/n.”

keeho’s voice brings you out of your trance. you woke up early that morning – way too early by your standards, just to get your makeup done. even after two cups of coffee, the constant photography and bridesmaid duties were tiring you out.

“have you met jiung yet?”

you roll your eyes and sigh. “not you too! did you put him up to this?”

your sister lets a giggle slip past her lips as she poses yet again. 

“actually, it was all my idea, cuz. so don’t forget to quote me in your vows and name your first child after me, got it?”

you almost land a kick to his shin, but he dodges just in time. 

“hey! no touching the suit!”

and so, the rest of the morning continues in a blur of whites and flashes – the soft rustle of dresses, the flurry of laughter, a flicker of the camera. through choreographed scenes and age-old traditions, a cautious curiosity about your potential suitor bubbles quietly in your chest.

it’s not until later in the afternoon that you meet jiung for this first time.

under the sweltering sun, the four groomsmen stand valiantly next to the fountain, preparing themselves for the groom’s first look with the bride. you’re certain that all of them are wearing identical, meticulously tailored suits – and probably shared the same pot of hair gel – yet for some reason, jiung shines the brightest.

with his shy demeanour and low laughter, his soft gestures and quiet confidence, you feel drawn towards him. the afternoon continues, a blur of countless photos, traditions, and endless games. the two of you stand next to the bride and groom, moving in perfect synchrony, ready at their beck and call. whether it’s a loose strand of hair or a stray bead of sweat, you move before the words even leave their lips. 

it’s not until the bridal party breaks for a late lunch that you get the opportunity to sit down and take a breather. 

“here,” a voice, smooth as the finest silk, says as a small electronic fan emerges from the corner of your eye.

“thank you,” you mumble, suddenly shy. you’re never like this, usually warm and friendly towards new people, but for some reason this jiung guy has thrown you off guard. 

“don’t mention it,” he says, reaching towards his bento box, eagerly digging into the food.

the two of you sit in comfortable silence as all around you, the chatter lowers to a comfortable hum. it’s around three hours til showtime, and while most of the work is done, there’s still a whole evening and afterparty ahead of you. 

“do you like egg yolks, by any chance?” you ask sheepishly, glancing towards jiung. at the end of the table, you know that your cousin and her future husband are conducting a similar exchange.

“as a matter of fact, i do.” 

wordlessly, you carve out the hard boiled egg yolk and gift it to him, biting back a laugh. 

“while a lot of people think that egg yolks are unhealthy due to its high cholesterol content, they’re also rich in vitamins A, B, D, E, and K, and they’re a good source of protein, iron, and –” jiung stops midsentence, wincing while rubbing his calf. 

from across the table, keeho shoots him a pointed look.

“sorry,” jiung apologises, ears turning an alarming shade of red. “i’m really into nutritional science. and most sciences, really.”

“that’s alright.” you giggle. “i know it’s good for you, but egg yolks taste like dry concrete to me.”

“i mean, that’s valid.” he nods vigorously. “that’s like spinach for me, i can’t stand the nasty aftertaste.”

“really?” you sit up straighter. “spinach is my favourite, and it also has heaps of iron.”

a swap ensues, and the two of you make small talk over mouthfuls of food.

keeho watches until he feels the visceral need to puke at your antics. with a huge sigh, he mutters something about taking a nap before slipping away. “nerds,” he grumbles under his breath.

//

“okay, we don’t have much time so let’s just take it from the top. ready? a one, a two, and a three!”

the bridal party huddles around a high-top table as one of the bridesmaids gives everyone a crash course in choreographed dance for the evening entrance.

it is nothing short of a disaster, with the boys all seemingly possessing two left feet. but thankfully, what they lacked in skill, they made up for in enthusiasm and energy.

across from you, jiung’s brows scrunch adorably as he studies the bridesmaid’s moves with great care. a small pang stirs in your chest – unjustified, no doubt, because who are you to feel jealous over a man who you just met a few hours ago?

“guys, we have to get ready!” one of the assistants come around to fetch you.

it’s showtime.

you swallow your bubbling nerves and make your way to the hall in a single file. quickly, the group organises itself into pairs. 

somehow, you end up next to jiung.

in the back of your mind, you feel relief flood through your veins, along with a touch of anxiety – both at the prospect of being so close to him, but also at the very real risk of making a complete fool of yourself in front of your extended family and your sister’s social circle.

in front of you, keeho turns around and winks.

that bastard.

“all good to go?” jiung’s voice speaks into your ear – not too close, yet close enough for goosebumps to rise along your skin.

the emcee’s voice blasts through the speakers, cheerily welcoming everyone to the festivities. the crowd listens, laughing softly at the jokes and introductions – the official start of the night.

“yeah,” you reply belatedly, breathless.

“i’m sure it’ll be fine. what’s the worst that could happen?”

“i bring dishonour to my family?”

jiung laughs, and the sound is bright, like windchimes twinkling in an early spring breeze. you wish it were the first, but not the last time you hear it.

keeho’s booming voice cuts through before he gets a chance to reply. “let’s do this, guys! don’t forget to shake those hips!”

jiung looks at you expectantly, and like a scene from a movie, the rest of the world fades away. he offers you his arm and a warm smile, and you feel your limbs go soft.

“let’s give a warm welcome to the bridal party!”

as the crowd applauds, you walk down the aisle, hand in hand with jiung. the music blasts through the speakers, an addictive beat playing as the group gets into formation.

muscle memory kicks in and you move your body to the beat, trying your best to copy the bridesmaid in front of you. a few cheers burst through the crowd, lifting the energy, and a well-timed twerk by keeho gets everyone laughing. 

just as the music is about to end, jiung grabs your hand and freestyles a quick twirl.

the crowd erupts – and you’re left staring straight into his molten, chocolatey eyes.

“woohoo! the bridal party, everybody! i think it’s safe to say that the party has officially started! those dance moves, man – what a way to blow the house down!”

as you find your seat with your family and the rest of the evening’s program continues, your eyes can’t help but to gravitate towards jiung.

“y/n,” keeho’s voice comes out as a rushed whisper, his tone urgent. “stop staring at jiung and help me out here – my palms are sweating.”

your eyes are about to roll to the back of your head when you suddenly remember that keeho has the behemoth task of delivering the best man speech – well, better him than you, you muse. “the crowd will love you, trust me.”

“yeah but, i don’t know whether the jokes are aunty-appropriate, if you catch my drift, and –”

“yoon keeho.” you speak firmly, your palm resting on his shoulder. “there’s no one better for this than you. you’re gonna do a great job, just take a few deep breaths and go out there and be yourself.”

the two of you clench your fists in a “fighting!!” stance and you do your best to hype him up.

from across the hall, jiung watches keenly, eyes twinkling with mirth and a playful smirk on his lips.

sure enough, keeho smashes the speech and everyone – both your mum and his – is clutching their stomachs in uncontrollable laughter.

as the night rolls on, you keep finding yourself within jiung’s orbit. him passing you a plate and spooning food onto it at the buffet tables, sitting across from you as you play games in front of a cheering crowd, or just meeting each other’s eye across the sea of heads as fireworks glimmer across the sky.

you have to give it to your sister. you watched how she slowly descended into a ball of stress and madness whilst planning the wedding over the past few months – yet all the late nights, frantic phone calls and endless decisions have culminated in an unforgettable day celebrating the two of them.

as the two of you linger around the instant noodle station – a mainstay of the wedding’s afterparty – you turn towards your sister, watching her as she watches her dream come to life before her very eyes.

your heart surges with love and hope. “you’re beautiful, sis. you deserve this.”

she turns to you, eyes glistening with fresh tears. she’s already done so much crying today, but somehow this quiet moment with you feels justified. her teary eyes bore into yours as she utters softly, “so do you, y/n.”

you smile, and she goes back to staring at the crowd – a mixture of her found-family from school, all the way through to university, work, and hobbies, all mingling together and moving as one body to the tunes of the group’s afterparty spotify playlist. 

you do the same, following her line of sight, and settle on jiung. 

she nudges you, then. “you deserve to be seen too, and to be happy.” your sister murmurs earnestly. “i know you always say you’re fine on your own, but it’s nice to have someone to share these moments with.”

you nudge her back playfully. while your sister understands and empathises with your independent lifestyle more than anyone else, she also has your best interests at heart.

“i don’t even know him that well but he seems… nice.” you pause, searching for the right words. “warm, and responsible, too. and a bit of a dork.”

the two of you watch as jiung and keeho pull the groom and a few others into a group hug before cheering and jumping around in circles.

“theo is the same,” your sister replies with a quiet sigh, but her gaze says it all – gentle and loving as she watches her husband coerce the group into an unsynchronised robot dance.

liquor flows from bottle to glasses and bowls of noodles make their rounds from hand to hand. amid the haze of laughter and light, you and jiung find yourselves next to each other once more, close enough to feel his warmth against you.

“having fun?” he wonders aloud, body moving sporadically to the tune of ‘staying alive’.

you pretend to think about this, hands moving in a classic dance move – cleaning the windows and changing the lightbulbs. “a solid eight out of ten.”

“what are you taking two points away for? there were fireworks, y/n.” he counters with feigned disbelief. “not to mention the food was amazing and the chocolate cake was absolutely delicious. don’t tell your sister but i demolished two and a half plates of it.”

“i doubt she’d mind.” you shake your head, bursting into a fit of giggles. “well, i’m taking one point away because none of my songs have been played yet!”

“valid – that’s a crime!”

“and,” you breathe, unsure whether to wear your heart on your sleeve like this, but you think, to hell with it. what better place to find love than in a gathering intended to celebrate it? “you haven’t invited me to dance with you yet.”

jiung throws his head back in laughter. you watch dizzyingly as his adam’s apple bobs along his throat. “y/n,” he begins, and your skin tingles with anticipation. “i believe that’s hardly anyone’s fault but mine, and for that, i owe you an apology. in fact, i think they’ve been trying really hard to set us up.”

in pure comedic timing, you look across to the groomsmen’s circle, the group cheering and whooping for their best friend, only to quiet down when they feel your eyes on them. they look away sheepishly. 

you inch closer towards him, emboldened by his confession. like a scene from a movie, someone brushes past from behind you, causing you to stumble forwards slightly – straight into his open arms. 

he holds you tenderly; gently, as though you’re made of glass. his eyes, alight with cautious curiosity and concealed amusement, stare back at yours, and you feel it again: that feeling of the world peeling away, leaving only you, in his arms, in this fleeting moment.

you wrap your arms around his neck, as his palms caress your waist, thumbs rubbing circles against your skin. 

for a moment, it’s quiet. 

and then the next song plays, and it’s the song you’ve been waiting all night for. enchanted. the perfect word to describe how you feel as you gaze into his eyes, only to find your reflection in the warmth of his brown orbs, staring right back at you. 

“so, is that a ten out of ten then?” he whispers, voice low, meant for your ears alone. 

“hmm, still missing half a point. maybe if you kiss me, it’d be flawless.”

he didn’t miss a beat, capturing your lips in a slow, unhurried dance before the end of the first chorus.

and all you could think of is how you wish the night would never end.

[imnayeonjaem]

pierce. | k.yeosang

one.

"you have tried to lift a veil, when none existed to begin with.."

summary: you and your twin brother, choi san, have become resentful towards each other. the documents proving your inheritance have been burned in a suspicious fire, leaving san to claim he is the rightful heir to the estate. during one of the many events you attend out of kindness, you meet kang yeosang, someone who might know more about this than you could reasonably believe..

words: 1.3k

tags: gothic regency au, explicit language, past parent death, angst, violence, flashbacks

a/n: ..well, it's been a hot minute, lmao. i've kind of had this idea in the bank for a while, and i say kind of because all i had was yeosang and gothic; that's it. it used to be a tragic romance but it grew legs of its own and is now this lol. there will be multiple parts, if you wanna be tagged lmk, any feedback is welcome; if i abandon this at any point please know it's because i'm a glutton for punishment;

tagging @hyungseos-cafe and @bikerjongho for the surprise factor sksks

minors dni

"I would never usually argue with you, but I don't think this is a good idea."

You eyed him suspiciously through the veil of your lashes. "Unfortunately, you have made a bed fit for kings. Now you must lie in it."

Yeosang shifted his feet across the marble floor towards a large circular window that framed the far end of the attic you were both standing in. Gazing upon the yard below, he watched a trio of gardeners tend to the crops; late for them, he thought.

Jutting his chin over his left shoulder - a feeble attempt to confront without looking you in the eye - he said, "Pardon me for enjoying the luxury."

With narrow eyes, you pushed your shoulders back and tilted your chin up. "Luxury can never be afforded to those who can't work to see what they've earned."

Yeosang chuckled, barely, the noise escaping his nose like an incredulous exhale. "Did San teach you that?"

I will have you know, though it is apparently beneath you to understand, I have always had more of a foothold over this estate than you ever will.

A laugh jostled out of your stomach, one you know would have disturbed the other members of the gentry had they been there to witness it. You merely skimmed over the rest of the letter, took ardent note of the scribbled signature bearing Choi San's name at the bottom, then tossed it into your waste paper basket. A note crossed your mind to burn it later.

Indeed, he was telling a half-truth: he did have more of a foothold on this estate, a fact you wished would see itself out of the fourth-storey window, but there was a time in which you had become the sole heir.

If only there was a way to present your brother the documents in which you had been bequeathed everything. Unfortunately, they had been destroyed in the partial fire that occured some months prior, an event you were certain was explicit sabotage on his part. Why would I try to burn the house I rightfully owned? The theories became tit-for-tat, some placing you at the scene of the crime, but you knew exactly where the documents were, and it was all too.. placed. Too structured, too designed a fire to be anything other than foul play. Eventually, they chalked it up to a loose bit of kindling, still not quite put out, that managed to strike a few stray bits of wood. The report made you scoff. It made most of the staff do the same.

In the months since the fire, many people had volunteered to rebuild the section of the estate that had perished. Folks from across the district poured money into the venture, with some going so far as to donate thousands to the cause.

As you glanced out of your bedroom window, you saw people work tirelessly into the evening, people who had given up months of their lives to stay in an annex, just so they could be on site to assist. A part of you wished you could help. Another, much bigger part, tucked your tail and turned your back.

Sauntering over to your desk, you picked up your diary and flicked through the pages. You hadn't written an entry in weeks, your last one dated to July, when it was now early September.

Closing the book, you sat it back down and folded your arms.

Candles of varying sizes lit up the room, some being on your desk, others nestled in tall stands that were placed in each corner. Every match made you nervous, every tiny flick of fire sent you back to the ashes of your documents. The only possession that mattered.

It spelled your future. You were owed some inheritance. You had ownership over this estate! Now, everything floundered, all of the information up in the air for the foreseeable future until something could be decided of the building's fate. A decision wasn't to be made until the work was completed, leaving the rest of the year out of the picture in terms of agreements.

You were self-assured, though. There was no way anyone could argue against the words of your father. Had your mother been there, she too would have supported you, but she had tragically passed five years before your father, who lost his own life only a year ago.

Now, just stood you and your twin brother, Choi San.

Neither of you were interested in pursuing a romance or a family, a fact that troubled your parents well up until the eleventh hour. You were both in your late-20s, well beyond the accepted years of taking part in the social season, but that hadn't stopped either of you from attending any event you were invited to. The two of you merely attended as a kindness, an act of showing up to dispell the myths and reassure other members of the district that all was fine, all was well, work had yet to be completed. Though it would be a lie to say that no one had caught your eye, you were not there to socialise. A good-looking man here, a beautiful woman there, socialites who kept you talking for hours, but no one had ever made an impact, and you were fine with that.

You were both due to attend another event in three days time, and you could confidently say that on this occasion, you were not looking forward to it.

A change in the air and copious amounts of reflection had brought on a deeply embedded type of sadness. You missed your parents. You hated your brother. You knew you were the rightful heir to the estate. You loved your brother.

Nothing had ever come between you before this. Anyone who had known you since you were young would recall the times they'd see the two of you running around the courtyard. San always won your futile games of chase, but you always managed to gain the upper hand in tripping him up by his ankles. Your mouth lifts despondently at the memory; so carefree, not a single responsibility to cloud your view of each other. No senseless feud or petty argument. Not even any bouts of jealousy.

When your mother died, your hearts grew bitter and angry. Nothing made sense when you received the news, and instead of holding on to one another, you each turned a cold shoulder and started blaming one another. San accused you of not tending to her needs. You accused him of spending all of his hours away. You were both in the wrong, and yet entirely faultless.

Hours became days, and the days dragged on through seasons of building resentment to the point that the staff had to keep you in separate rooms. Not that you were ever violent, physically or verbally, but the aversion you had towards each other caused severe burnout. The turmoil was too potent for you to share a meal most days.

You take a seat on the edge of your bed for a brief moment, thoughts flooding your mind at rapid speed where once the tide was still. On your desk, your diary gleamed against the nearby candlelight, and something pushed you to pick it up again, to figure out what had bothered you all of a sudden.

In a flash, the diary was in your hands again.

Flipping through the worn and yellowed pages brought you to your last entry once more. You hadn't missed a single day since your father died, taking every opportunity to write all of your thoughts down in lieu of screaming them out of your bedroom window.

You remembered your last entry was dated to July. You studied the page more thoroughly than before, and once you realised, your heart sank to the bottom of your stomach.

July, 9th Trouble in the yard. The gardeners are worried the crops they planted in the spring won't make it due to the heat.

July 9th. Of course.

The day before your joint birthday.

× imnayeonjaem ×

[sungbeam]

he's got the feather of your wing clutched in his palm, and you love him. they're forcing you back to the celestial realm, and you love him. he is the human who taught you to disobey your maker — because you love him. and here he is, tears cascading down the slopes of his cheeks, heart shredding apart cell by cell, knees digging into the dirt like he's paying penance to your god, with no way to save you.

a guardian angel sent to look after him... who could have known you needed watching over, too?

[mountain-d3w]

02:48

a/n: i haven't posted in a while... oopsies!

pairing: non-idol! san x fem! reader

content: fluff

word count: 1.5k

san wakes up to you peppering kisses on his forehead and cheeks.

“hi sannie.” you say smiling softly at him as you brush some hair out of his face.

“baby? what time is it?” he asks, his voice raspy with sleep.

“two forty-eight” you say, glancing at the small alarm clock next to you. he looks out the window; the stars in the sky invisible due to the light pollution of the city. the room dimly lit up by the blue-white lights along the skyline.

“why so early? is something wrong?” he asks, yawning between his questions. he rests his hand on your cheek; still half asleep but making sure you were okay.

“nothing’s wrong… and i’m sorry to wake you up, but i can’t sleep and i really want snacks from 7-eleven… and the last time i went without you, you got upset and said it was too dangerous for me to go alone at night and you made me promise you that i would wake you up the next time i wanted to go.” you rambled– fiddling the rings on your fingers– feeling bad for disrupting his sleep.

he was waking up now; his brain processing your words. he sat up and checked his phone. 

“okay, baby…” he mumbles as he sets his phone down. he grabs one of your hands to stop your anxious fiddling. he gives it a gentle squeeze before continuing, “but it's like -8℃ right now, so you need to put on a warmer jacket.”

he gets out of bed and puts on a pair of grey sweatpants and a black hoodie as you grab your jacket out of the closet. neither of you turn a light on since the city lights outside your window light the room up well enough and your eyes have adjusted to the low lighting. you rummage through your purse to grab your wallet, when he stops you. 

“hey, what are you doing? you’re not paying.” his tone is serious and he furrows his eyebrows at you like you’re crazy for even thinking you would.

you turn around, as though you were caught red-handed. “what do you mean? why can’t i pay? after all, i woke you up…” you slightly shift on your feet– your wallet in your hand– still feeling bad for waking him up and making him get out of the warm comfort of your shared bed. 

“there’s no way in hell i’m letting you pay. i’m the one who told you to wake me up.” he steps closer to you.

“why not? it’s only gonna be like 10,000 won, max.” you shrug, hoping you’ll convince him by reminding him how cheap the snacks will be. 

he gets even closer. his body a couple inches from yours. takes your wallet out of your hand and tosses it onto the bed. “exactly. 10,000 won. it’s cheap. you don’t need to worry about paying for it.” he gives you a soft peck on the lips and softly rubs your cheek with the back of his knuckles. “stop feeling bad, baby– seriously.” he smiles at you. his eyes crinkle slightly and his dimples show. “now, let’s go get snacks.” he gives you a soft kiss on the forehead. you look up at him with a small smile, your guilt melting away. he grabs your hand, intertwining your fingers together and leads you out of the bedroom. 

————————

you both make the trek through the cold; the normally short walk feeling long due to the chill in the air. san holds your hand in the pocket of his coat. he likes to hold your hand like this. he knows you run cold in general and given the weather, it gives him an excuse to hold you tighter and keep you closer. he subconsciously rubs his thumb against the back of your hand. 

once you both make it inside, san grabs a basket before you both beeline to different sections of the store: he makes his way to the cold food section and you go towards the sweet potatoes— your favorite snack. you add one to the basket once you meet san in the ramen section. leaning your head on san’s shoulder as you both try to decide on which flavor of ramen you guys want. the millions of options make it difficult, since you’re already an indecisive person. after a few moments, you pick up two options before turning to san.

“should i get kimchi or cheese?” you hold up the two buldak bowls. 

“you can get both, after all it is 2+1. you can save the other one for later, or i can eat it if you change your mind.” he says putting his flavor of choice (carbonara) in the basket. you place both instant ramen bowls into the basket next to the kimbap san picked up when you were getting your sweet potato. 

“thoughts on drinks?” you stare up at him batting your eyelashes.

“of course we need drinks, baby. i think i want strawberry milk.” he said smiling at you, thinking about how silly you are to think he would say no. 

“oooh. i might go with banana this time. i’ve been craving it recently.” you link your arm with his as you both make your way to the cold drinks. 

————————

once you are back home, you both immediately change back into your pajamas. you both decide to turn only the stove light on in the kitchen, mostly because you prefer the soft warm glow over the harsh overhead lighting the main light gives. together, you make your ramen before bringing the snacks to the couch.

you turn the tv on as san opens his kimbap. 

“wanna watch clips of the backpacker chef? they’re pretty short, so we don’t have to stay awake too long to finish them.” you ask, staring at the screen.

“ah.” he says, his way of telling you to open your mouth as he tries to feed a bite of kimbap to you. you look over at the slice of kimbap between the chopsticks, before opening your mouth. your hand automatically gets into position: hovering under your mouth in case any of it falls. 

“yeah, sure.” he says stuffing a bite of kimbap into his own mouth.

“thank you.” you say muffled, your mouth full. you do a little happy dance and you quietly tap your feet on the ground; excited to be eating yummy snacks while trying to be considerate of your downstairs neighbors.

he smiles at you, admiring your little happy dance.

the two of you watch various clips of the show as you eat your sweet potato. once you finish it, you take your first bite of ramen. “this hits the spot.” he says enthusiastically. he had already started eating his ramen— he eats a bit faster than you. he takes another bite and he scrunches his eyes shut. his eyebrows furrow and he nods his head fervently.

you nod, your mouth full of ramen too. “yeah, this was definitely the move.” you say pointing excitedly at the food on the coffee table. once you finish, you sigh and lean your back against the couch cushions watching the tv completely satisfied. 

you snuggle closer to san so that your back is against his chest. together you take a few minutes to digest your food. he kisses the top of your head as you pat your now full stomach. after a few moments of san softly playing with your hair, you get sleepy.

you don’t realize you doze off in his arms until san moves to get up and collect all the trash to throw it away. you help him clean up by wiping the coffee table off before you turn the tv off.

————————

once in the bathroom, you both go to brush your teeth. you each pull out your toothbrushes and san carefully squeezes your shared toothpaste onto each toothbrush. you rest your head on his shoulder as he makes silly faces at you through the mirror

when you’re done, you both settle into bed comfortably full. “thank you for taking the time to come with me, sannie.” you say softly as you turn to face him. he turns to face you and pulls you close. 

“of course, my baby.” even though you both have been together for a while now, your heart still swells when he calls you ‘his’. the darkness of the room hides your blush but you still hide your face in the crook of his neck and nuzzle into him. he breathes out a laugh at this and wraps his arm around you so that his hand can rest on the back of your head, softly securing you close to him. he hums quietly and kisses the top of your head again. 

you doze off before you can say ‘good night’ or ‘i love you’ but he doesn’t mind, he’s just happy you can finally fall asleep. he feels his body relax into you.

“i love you so much.” he whispers, his eyes heavy with sleep. he closes his eyes. the last thing he remembers is the smell of your shampoo mixed with the faint smell of your perfume from earlier in the day.

[fivestaralien]

mingi x gnreader!

word count^^: 2,312

warnings””+: talks about mental health

a.n.//the way that i constantly am writing comfort fics...... yeah... anyway i hope you guys enjoy this one! Mingi is one of my comfort idols and i couldn't not post this. stay safe everyone:)

This is your own fault.

 Earlier this morning you had texted Mingi that you needed to be alone today. You had finally hit your limit after slowly noticing your tells of a burn out.

When this does happen, you need to be alone. Having other people around always made it worse, no matter where they were in the house. Just knowing they were here made you want to rip your skin off, so you made sure to never have anyone over.

 You and Mingi started dating a few months ago and you still had so much to learn about each other. Especially when it comes to mental health. Communication was something you still needed to work on, not used to having someone you could trust to give you what you needed. A week or so ago you had tried to tell Mingi some of your tells but it died in your throat when he had been called into the studio. 

 When he brought it up later you just told him you forgot. He didn’t believe you, but he was too scared to push you and make you overwhelmed. When he checked his phone this morning, the text you sent surprised him.

 ‘I know we had plans today but I just can’t be around anyone right now and I want to be alone. I’m sorry’

 Mingis mind was racing. When did it start getting this bad? How had he not noticed you were starting to slip into this funk? Now all he wanted to do was be with you, more than he already does. 

 ‘No need to apologize honey. I’m here whenever you need me. Even if I am working I will get out of it to come to you. Please don’t hesitate to reach out, okay?’

 He had sent that a few minutes after yours went through but you never replied. You had been so used to having no one by your side that you never noticed how much Mingi actually helps to calm the storm before it hits.  

 It started a few hours after you texted him. You changed into one of Mingis sweaters he had left here for you and just the lingering scent of him made you miss him so much. Then you begin to get hungry but you don't have the energy to get up and cook. It reminds you of the few times Mingi would notice you too physically worn out and he would make food for you. He would even go as far as helping feed you too, while praising you for how well you were eating.

 Your last straw was looking at your lock screen. You were straddling one of Mingis thighs and you had surprised him by using your thumb and pointer finger to squish his cheeks, lips pouting. His eyes are wide and sparkling and it makes your heart flutter at the memory of you taking this candid of your beautiful boyfriend. 

 Your emotions suddenly come full force through your body and you begin to let a few tears stray from your eyes. Quickly you wipe your tears and hesitantly click your message thread with him. 

 ‘I lied. I don’t want to be alone. Can you come over?’

  Mingis heart sinks. He doesn’t have to hear or see you to know you were struggling so much right now. Luckily he didn’t have any plans, seeing as he called off work thinking you were going to be hanging out today anyways. 

 ‘Of course I can. I’m going to stop by the store to get some food and your favorite drinks. I’ll be there in 20-30 minutes tops. Take that time to get comfortable and I’ll be there soon.’ 

You don’t reply but heart the message instead. Mingi feels his heart calm down and then leaves, not bothering to say goodbye to the guys that were hanging out in the living room.  

 You didn’t plan on doing anything extreme but you knew you just wanted to be as close to Mingi as possible for the rest of the day. You take 4 blankets from your hall closet and begin moving them around on the couch. Once you are satisfied with the pile you go to your room and grab some pillows and your favorite plushies, setting them on top of the blankets. 

 It took you less than 5 minutes to do this and now you were just waiting. Your mind wouldn’t calm down now that your hands weren’t busy. What if he gets tired of you. What if he wants to leave because you are being too clingy and needy. 

 You rub your eyes and lean back against the pillows and blankets, letting out a heavy sigh as tears well in your eyes again. You were so in your head you didn’t notice how quickly those 20 minutes passed. Mingi walks in with multiple bags in hand and his call out to you doesn’t register in your mind. He carefully sets the bags down on the kitchen counter and slowly approaches you.

He knew you didn’t like to be touched when you were feeling overstimulated or burnt out without your permission, so he opted to squat down to get eye level with you.  It takes you a few seconds to realize that he was actually here and with one look at him you start crying. 

 “I’m so sorry Mingi.” You cry out. 

 His brows furrow but he doesn’t say anything, knowing it wasn’t what you wanted yet. 

 “I wanted to tell you how I was feeling and that I could sense myself burning out but I got too scared.” You nearly whisper the last part and look down at the plushie you moved onto your lap. You couldn’t look Mingi in the eyes. Your distress was oozing out of you and it took everything in Mingi not to smother you in cuddles and kisses. 

 “I don’t want you to think badly of me or think that I am annoying with how much I need from you. What if I become too much and you can’t deal with me anymore?” You hiccup and wipe your cheeks with the sleeve of your sweater. When you don’t speak for a minute he takes that as his okay to speak.

 “Is that why you canceled? Because you thought I wouldn’t want to be around you while you were struggling?” His voice is gentle, you nod at his question. He sighs and cautiously moves closer to you, still not touching though.

“Is it okay if I hold your hand?” You think about it for a second before laying your hand out for Mingi to take. He laces his fingers between yours and rests your hands on your knee. His touch warms your body and soul, already feeling yourself being stitched back together. 

 “I would never think like that. I know what it’s like to feel like you are burdening people just by existing. I can say with my entire soul that you have never been and never will be annoying, too touchy, or a burden to me. I want every part of you and that includes the harder parts.” He lets his words sink in, hoping you would understand that you don’t need to hide from him. 

 “It must take so much energy to reach out, huh.” His thumb caresses your hand delicately. Your heart is pounding at his words and you can only muster up a nod. “I’m very proud of you for doing that.” 

 Gently you tug at his hand, signaling that you wanted him closer to you. Mingi squeezes your hand and stretches to his full height. “Where do you want me?” The question is so simple but it takes you a few seconds to figure out what you want. He can see the wheels turning in your head and brings his free hand to comb his fingers through your hair.

 “How about this? Let's eat the food I brought and give you some time to think about it. Does that sound okay baby?” You squeeze his hand in response and Mingi leads you to the kitchen. 

 You watch silently as he takes out different flavors of ramen and ice cream. Mingi then explains that he bought some extra ones for when you wanted some in the future. He takes the two drinks and opens them both, passing one to you. You take a few sips and set the drink on the counter. Turning towards Mingi again, you wrap your hands around his forearm, hugging his arm to your body. Mingi turns his head,  softly knocking it against yours and you feel like you can breathe again. 

 When he asks which one you want, you point and with that he moves to make it. Alarms sound off in your head at the thought of him moving away from you. Quickly you follow him further into the kitchen and clasp onto the hem of his shirt. Mingi turns to face you with a questioning look. He leans himself against the counter fully facing you now. Your fingers now toying with the front of his shirt. He doesn't say anything, letting you get your thoughts together. 

 “I don’t want to be away from you.” You whisper. 

 A soft smile graces his face and it almost pulls one from you too. Almost. “Come here.” Mingi squishes you against him, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and rests his cheek against the crown of your head. He gently sways the both of you and it calms your nerves instantly. It’s like everything that had happened before he came over never happened and you didn’t want it to stop. 

 The grip you have on him is so tight you are surprised he hasn’t tried moving away yet. You stay like this for a few minutes before he tells you that the ramen should be ready. Reluctantly you let him get everything set up but, that didn’t mean you let go of his shirt.

 He lets you follow him around like a lost puppy and it makes your heart swell. You’ve never had someone willingly let you be so needy and touchy with them. Always being called too clingy and smothering them. Mingi surprises you when he wraps his hands around your wrists and pulls your arms to wrap around his waist. Your body now snug against his back, you clasp your hands together to make sure you don't stray away from him. 

 “There, now you don’t have to be so far away from me.” He reaches a hand behind to gently pat your ass.

 When the two of you reach the coffee table with your ramen, Mingi pats his thighs as he sits on the floor. You look at him confused but he just repeats the same motion with a sweet smile. “Just let me take care of you baby. Come sit.” His voice is so soothing.

You make your way onto his lap, and he wastes no time in wrapping an arm around your stomach, pulling you as close as possible to him. “What do you want to watch?” He asks you. “Can you pick?” He nods his head and leaves a kiss to your temple. The both of you remain in comfortable silence while eating and watching one of your favorite movies. 

 Once you finish eating, unwillingly letting Mingi clean up and leave to take the trash out, he motions towards the mountain of blankets and plushies. “Did you set this up for us?” You nod shyly. He reaches his hands out for you to grab and he lifts you to stand on your feet. “Did you figure out where you wanted me to sit?” He asks and you shake your head. 

 “I kind of forgot.” You admit.

 He laughs and kisses your cheek. Mingi moves around you but not before squeezing your hand, making sure you knew he wasn’t leaving you. You watch as he makes himself comfortable and waves for you to lay on top of him. You don't hesitate and completely mold yourself to him, laying your head on his chest. He wraps his arms around your waist to keep you secure against him. He smiles as he feels your body relax and turns on a new movie for you to watch. Mingi begins rubbing your back and you let out a breath, snuggling closer to him.

  At some point you forgot about the movie. All you can think about is kissing Mingi. You move your head, resting your chin against the back of your hand and look at him. He feels your stare and moves his head to look at you.  “What’s on your mind?” He asks and playfully taps your forehead. Your cheeks heat up and you suddenly wish you didn’t look towards him. 

 “Honey.” He coos and moves his hands under your arms to lift you higher on his body, your face now directly above his. 

 “Can I kiss you?” You say quietly and Mingi nearly giggles from how adorable you were being. You bury your head into his neck now, extremely shy. You hear him laugh and it makes you laugh too. Mingi places his hands to cup your cheeks, lifting your head to look you in the eyes. 

 Mingi wastes no time pressing his lips to yours and the kiss is making your entire body heat up. He presses against you a little harder and it feels like there is no one else in the world. You could spend the rest of your life kissing Mingi and you hope you get to. 

 “You will never be a burden to me, and I will happily spend the rest of my life proving that to you.” He tells you as you pull away from each other. A tear glides down your cheek and Mingi gladly wipes it away with his thumb, kissing you again.

////

[peonieslibrary]

welcome to my p1h library! below are some of my favorite writings i've read so far!

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ - my personal review

p1harmony -

keeho

✩ waves of love by @/sxfterhearts | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

theo

jiung

✩ cafe crush by @sxfterhearts | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ neighbourly visits by @/sxfterhearts | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ 10:49pm - late night calls. by @/sxfterhearts | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ i 💙 my artist by @gluion | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ Mr. Choi from 2A by @kainuhsblog | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

intak

soul

jongseob

[peonieslibrary]

welcome to my atz library! below are some of my favorite writings i've read so far!

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ - my personal review

ateez -

multiple members

ateez as antiques by @imnayeonjaem | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

seonghwa

✩ What Used To Be (Not What Is Now) by @blossom-hwa | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ Blinding Pavlov. by @seohwang | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ insomnia by @mars101 | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ iced oat latte, extra shot by @/imnayeonjaem | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ sunshine by @xuchiya | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ home by @sweetiesicheng | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ you don't have to pretend by @fixingtheon | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ Date Night Duel by @zeroseuniverse | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ lego house by @jinkoh | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ with you by @hwaightme | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

hongjoong

✩ last hope by @star-eyed-devils | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

yunho

yeosang

san

✩ [00:35] by @from-izzy | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

mingi

wooyoung

jongho

[peonieslibrary]

welcome to my misc library! below are some of my favorite writings i've read so far!

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ - my personal review

misc groups

wayv -

ten

✩ just for tonight by @mae-gi-writes | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ <- fix

[peonieslibrary]

welcome to my tbz library! below are some of my favorite writings i've read so far!

⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧ - my personal review

the boyz -

sangyeon

✩ constant by @lonelywhalien22 | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ i'm home by @from-izzy | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ undercover by @halaboyz | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

jacob

✩ in malibu by @sungbeam | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ Stay The Night by @blu-joons | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ with every storm, i have you by @gluion | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ this christmas by @deobienthusiast | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

younghoon

hyunjae

✩ HEY CHAT! ∩^ω^∩ by @cloverdaisies | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ Fell in love all over again by @sanaxo-o | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

juyeon

✩ enchanted ( to meet you ) by @littleroaes | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

kevin

✩ fluer by @juyoens | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ picnics and lavender by @jjyusmile | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ It’s Okay Not To Be Okay by @mae-gi-writes | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ dandelions by @milkybonya | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ nightmare before christmas by @winterchimez | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

chanhee

✩ simple gifts by @/sungbeam | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

✩ LIPSTICK STAINS by @slytherinshua | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

changmin

✩ drunk texting by @jinkoh | ⋅˚₊‧ ୨୧

ju haknyeon

sunwoo

eric

[hwaightme]

With you

(masterlist) (taglist)

🫂 pairing: bf!seonghwa x gn!reader 🫂 genre: comfort, healing from hurt, established long-term relationship, fluff 🫂 summary: even when it feels like the world is crashing down, seonghwa was, is and will be with you. 🫂 wordcount: 2.3k total 🫂 warnings/tags: not edited, implied work challenges, clutter, focus, negative self-perception, crying, negative self-talk, catastrophising, physical/mental health, hugs, sharing struggles, unconditional love, supporting loved ones in darkness, feeling overwhelmed, love does not have a limit or price 🫂 taglist: at the bottom of the fic 🫂 a/n: this one was in the drafts, and now completed in a flurry, perhaps having waited for its time. hope you find comfort in this, and have love and your safe space. any notes, reblogs, comments are always appreciated. much love.

Sometimes, people said it was “not their day” - much like a sudden downpour. Sometimes, they could even say that it was “not their week” - much like a rainy season. For you, well, for you it was starting to turn into “not your life” - a perpetual cacophony of droplets pelting down and taking you with them. Perhaps when you were a child you did not pay much attention to your habits and your natural pitfalls, but as you entered adulthood and launched yourself headfirst into the corporate workforce to play the role of a diligent office worker earning your share and volunteered to take more and more responsibilities in every aspect of life outside of nine to five, cursed quirks were becoming harder and harder to ignore, or rather, to hide.

And this was exactly why you had found yourself in the darkness of your room, wanting to be abandoned by the world, staring at the ceiling and only seeing your mistakes and what had to be overreactions that were accumulating into a colossus faster than a snowball rolling down a hill. Nothing was right, and every single time, you were the one to blame. You couldn’t even change out of your work clothes into what, in your happier times, you called your favourite pyjamas - maybe it was because you were afraid to ruin them too. A rational thought? No. But it somehow ended up making more sense than the bingo card of emotional rollercoaster-inducing nightmares that kept on being filled out.

You did not want to count the minutes, possibly hours that you spent suspended in your own dread and misery. The time must have been considerable, since you could hear the turning of a key, and the slow opening of the front door to welcome none other than the subject of one of your present flavours of despair. Anticipating disaster, you curled up into a ball on the cold, now messy bed, and tried your best to force any tears away. Sleeves rubbing at wet cheeks and eyes, you did not want your boyfriend to see you like this. Weak, helpless, broken. Worn down into nothing more than the clumsy disappointment with medical bills and chaotic thought processes you actually have been all along. What a tragic ‘big reveal’. Absorbing everything around you and spilling out everything brewing within - you should have trusted those who had told you that you would make anyone and everyone run away. Who would want someone who couldn’t sort out their own messes before making another? Who would be able to stand someone who could barely last a day before ruining a piece of clothing, losing or breaking something, and on the better days almost guaranteeing a stain in the oddest place or some kind of trail of a sloppy existence? How could anyone rely on you when you could not even sort out your own noise?

With a trembling lip, you watched scenarios flash before your sore eyes of how Seonghwa would undoubtedly hate you. And when you heard a sigh travel from the corridor and crash against your eardrums, you knew that at the end of the day, all those people who had been saying the same thing over, and over, and over again to you were right. Until knuckles were starting to turn white you clutched at the material of the throw that had been lying on top of the sheets - without a doubt a protective measure, and here you were, ruining things. Never in anyone’s plans, you were an elephant in a porcelain shop. An elephant who should be put far, far away from anything human. An insensitive crybaby who both physically and mentally represented discord. You couldn’t even-

“Y/N, how many times did I tell you to not leave your shoes at the-”

Here. It. Was. The end. It had to be. It had to be the grand finale to what sliver of happiness you had left in your life. The little bit of festive cheer was already starting to evaporate, you could sense it. Soon, he would utter the words you had imagined many times. Soon, you would be alone and lonely. Soon, you would be where you were supposed to be according to what others established you deserved. You couldn’t breathe, with your back turned to the door, you could only sense your boyfriend’s presence, and catch the hint of a shadow falling over your frail, exhausted form. 

“-Y/N?”

You did not dare answer, no matter how sweet, or how supposedly concerned Seonghwa sounded. He could be coaxing you out of your cave to scold you, or better yet, recite all the words you despised, but had grown used to hearing. The only thing on your mind was the thousand things you managed to ‘achieve’ today. One of them included those shoes.

“Hey… talk to me,” voice more gentle, barely above a whisper, floats across the room and practically caresses your head. You couldn’t move. He would be disappointed even more if you were to do anything. You should pretend you were just a pile of laundry, maybe then it would all stop and you wouldn’t be out here losing buttons, breaking baubles and scratching up perfectly good heels. 

You sensed a dip on the bed. A warm presence. Your boyfriend scooted closer to you until you could feel him leaning over towards you, his chest hovering just above your side. The most impossible feat in the world was to hide yourself from him, but you could not help but try with all your might. A shiver jolted over your body despite you still being in a woollen sweater, resulting in a familiar, loving hand finding purchase on your upper arm. The thumb traced abstract shapes in a soothing motion, and soon enough, you were being turned a little ways backwards. Face to face with fear, you felt the tears that had stalled in a panic threatening to spill over once again.

“Have you… have you been crying?” despite being in the semi-darkness, the glistening trails on your cheeks must have given you away. One peck, another delivered by Seonghwa’s plush lips while a soft hand positioned itself on the side of your face, preventing you from hiding yourself, “...oh baby please, tell me, what happened?” 

Your eyes bore into his, not dissimilar to a deer caught in the headlights, as though you had been spotted committing a crime. While you had been in a relationship with a man who you swore was an angel for a considerable amount of time, so substantial in fact that you had a shared lease under both of your names like proper adults sometimes decided to do, there was one thing that you could not bear to do - burden him with your troubles. You could not allow yourself to complain, instead choosing to bottle up all the miniature disasters into one catastrophic potion, waiting until it bubbles over and only then crawling towards salvation in the form of a long shower where no one could hear you cry. It had to be you who was wrong, anyways. It was always you. Even in things that were meant to be outside of your control, you felt guilty, repeating this to yourself until illusion became fact.

It was always you who had forgotten to take something out to defrost or had not checked the mail again. Always you who had not put some abstract item away, or you did but not in the right place. Always you who had not found the energy or the time to clean something or to water the plants. It was you and your family and your friends who had to untie Gordian knots, and you were the weakling who cried, and cried and cried while others seemed to be able to stand tall and face any challenge. In the inevitable times of a storm, be it your own or another’s you were the thin and hollow piece of straw that was bent in the wind and all the previous beauty crumbled to join the rotting ground. Your inner voice was loud and hurtful, blockading you from believing in anything else except the fact that you could not handle a simple twenty four hours. A tiny piece of news, a tiny little change be it in schedule or tone, a little hurdle all had the capability to ruin you and make you fall, leading you to how you were now. Did you try to manage? Of course you did, always. Was it enough? Never.

“Hug?” There it was. An offer that could never be refused. Perhaps this was the last ever time you would be allowed to come so close to the love of your life. Heart to heart, the delightful, comforting scent of vanilla being the only thing on the senses.

With a quick gesture, Seonghwa encouraged you to roll over completely, and lift yourself so he could wrap his arms around you, as though sheltering you from a storm. His chin nestled into the crook of your neck, and he tightened his embrace until you had no choice but to give into the comfort. Tired body and mind, unwinding at his touch, falling apart only to be rebuilt again, better, brighter, warmer. The long-awaited spring. Legs folded, you wriggled to close whatever space was left between your bodies, grabbing a fistful of his black turtleneck sweater as though to confirm that this wonderful man was real. Indeed, he was. More than real. As real as the kiss he planted on your cheek. As real as the reassurance that poured from his soul without any words uttered. Well, none except:

“Let’s walk through it, okay?”

Your head - fuzzy from the overflowing tears and emotional haze. Your eyes, puffed up and reddened. And even then, Seonghwa was looking at you as though you were the one to hang the moon and the stars. How could you dare disappoint him and bring him down by being such a disaster? You could feel another burst of terror and despair welling up and threatening to spill over, and it appeared that your boyfriend did too, for the speed with which he pressed you impossibly close to himself was beyond your comprehension. It was as if he was trying to squeeze every bit of pain out of you, sorry that you had to feel what you were feeling, sorry that he could not take it away.

“I’m with you, Y/N. I’m always with you…” soft whispers - sharp swords on your dark consciousness, slashing at the demons that had been rearing their ugly heads again and again for however long. You had stopped counting after a couple weeks, pretending that they could be kept under control. Again, how wrong you were.

He was neat. Seonghwa was borderline pedantic at times, but you were convinced that that was the exact reason why the walls of your home had not come down yet. But, if it meant that you would be calmer, and you could see more sunshine in your inner world, he would let you cry into every single sweater, every single shirt, and would never dare let you go. If there was one thing he was infuriated by, was by whatever or whoever had ingrained in you that hiding was the same as powering through.

“I’m done, Seonghwa… I’m so tired…” you sobbed into the warmth of his chest, allowing for everything you had been holding back to flow through and out of you.

“We’re together, so we will make it through. Through everything. Whatever happens, happens so that the future can happen. We will power through it,” he repeated the words like a mantra, aware of the turmoil that he had to combat to get to you, but was going to never give up trying. 

“I feel… so small…”

“We can do it,” he cut you off, planting another velvety peck on your head before rocking gently side to side, running a hand over and over again down your back.

“So… so small…” the words disappeared, swallowed by an indescribable void that came with the onset of fatigue.

“I love you so much, Y/N. You hear me?” How could he? This was a question you would never be able to answer, but you thanked every part of the universe for giving such a blessing to you.

“I- I love you so… so much too…”

“So you and I, right now, we will lie right here, breathe, and then put all of the little pieces in order okay?”

“O-okay.”

“We share everything. Mhm?”

“Everything…”

A silence. Pangs of fatigue and worry about everything under the sun were not yet abating, but were becoming easier to manage as you focused on Seonghwa’s steady breathing, and the rhythmic thrum of his golden heart. You pulled away, admiring every part of him, not wanting to focus on anything else. You drifted into a trance, sinking deeper and deeper into his adoring gaze, unbroken. His hands found yours, thumbs tracing your skin in that same lulling way. You watched his lips as they let another miracle wash over you:

“I am so happy that I am with you.”“Even-”

“Especially. We. Yeah? We. And because we are ‘we’, we will make it through everything.”

The words echoed in your mind as you gave the love of your life a tiny smile. Your person. The one who was always on your team, even when you tried to delude yourself into thinking the opposite. He was here. With you. Through all the downs, through all the ups. When you know what is happening and when you need a little more time to figure things out. You and Seonghwa are here and will be here. Together.

🫂 perma-taglist: @acciocriativity @justhere4kpop @starrysvn @byuntrash101 @shakalakaboomboo @starillusion13 @uwuheeseungie @cheollipop @frankenstein852 @charreddonuts @miriamxsworld @mingigoo @michel-angelhoe @innsomniacshinestar @foxinnie8 @preciouswoozi @wooyoungjpg @nebulousbookshelf @wowie-hockey @hongjoongs-patience @jaehunnyy @kitten4sannie @maddkitt @lightinyreads @ren-junwrld @pyeonghongrie-main @marsstarxhwa @pocketjoong-reads @alyszaen @yeooclock @yeonjunnie @asjkdk @lucky-cat-cafe @northerngalxy @my-loves-my-life @http-gyu

thank you for reading. please do consider leaving a reblog if you enjoyed!

[mars101]

hi mars! congrats on 200!! can a request an smau with jiung where he’s secretly producing a song for reader, but like.. he’s really bad at hiding the fact that it’s a secret and reader already knows about it? hehe thank you and congrats again!!!

mars' welcome: this is very late...... IM SORRY BUT HERES THE SMALL SMAU AND THANK YOUUUU PEONY 😍😍😍

paring: bf!jiung x reader

genre: smau, fluff

warnings: reader has she/her pronouns

mars notes: im actually so sorry how late this is 💀💀💀 irl is crayzay rn..

masterlist

☆★☆ perm taglist: @loonaluvz, @sanasour, @boomhoon

★☆★ network/s: @kflixnet

[jinkoh]

drunk texting

changmin x gn!reader

tags: established relationship, idol!changmin, fluff, texting/drabble, pet names (babe/bebi), alcohol consumption; SFW

wc: 0.5k (drabble under the cut)

a/n: i've never made fake texts but the pictures he shared from lotte world felt sO much like drunk selcas to me and it wouldn't leave my mind so after discussing the idea with @blizzardfluffykpop a while ago i finally made a little something out of it [also yes he is saved as chungmin in your phone, it's bc i love the day drinking idol human theater episode]

Masterlist

You knew your boyfriend had been to Lotte World for filming today and then out for a few drinks with the guys afterwards. He’d been kinda bummed out about not being able to take you along, but judging from his texts he still had a good time. Of course you would have loved to spend the day with him, but it was his job and it wasn’t like you were taking him along to your job either, so there were no hard feelings there. You were just glad he had fun with it and got to enjoy some off time with the members after. It wasn’t too often they could go out like this.

With a small gleeful smile on your lips, you made your way to the bar to pick him up. It didn’t feel like a chore or anything and you knew he would have gotten home by himself just fine, but you wanted to use this chance to spend some time together (and you loved how affectionate Changmin was with you when he was tipsy).

almost there, you texted him as you were about to walk inside, almost stumbling into someone as your focus was still on your phone screen.

“Oh!” Changmin exclaimed, voice full of excitement. “You’re already here!”

Before you could even look up, you were already wrapped up in a tight hug. 

“I was just about to come out to wait for you,” he said, swaying you both from side to side. You leaned up to leave a peck on his lips. “Mhm, I hurried to see you sooner.” 

His face lit up with a happy smile before he loosened the hug and grabbed your hand to pull you inside the bar. The guys were sitting in a corner booth greeting you excitedly and Eric immediately scooted over so you could sit with them. 

“No-ou,” Changmin shook his head, and wrapped his hands around you from the back to keep you from sitting, “my bebi came to pick me up, we’re going home.”

“Gross,” Haknyeon mumbled with a scrunched up face as he watched the corny display of affection.

“You’re just jealous, because you have to go home with Sangyeon and Hyunjae.”

“Rude?” Hyunjae chimed in, “we’re great company.”

“Sure,” Changmin nuzzled his nose into your neck, making you giggle, “but mine is better.”

“We got it,” Sangyeon said with a sigh from behind you, carrying a tray of drinks, “but can you leave already so I can set this down?”

You moved aside with a chuckle to make space for Sangyeon and then said your goodbye’s shortly after. When you were back outside, Changmin was holding your hand again, swinging it back and forth.

“We could have stayed a bit, if you wanted.”

“I know,” he said, leaning over to peck your cheek, “but I missed you. We haven’t had any alone time for a while.”

“That’s true.”

“Did you want to stay? I know you don’t see them that often.”

“No, it’s fine,”  you replied with a smile, squeezing his hand in yours, “I really wanted to be with you, too.”

He squeezed back. “Thanks for picking me up.”

“Always.”

Masterlist

[cuppasunu]

» DEOBI DAY SPECIAL REQUEST DELIVERY »

to: sophia @carrotsworld

req: hyunjae x reader x eric | treat you better by shawn mendes

summary: you only have eyes for your best friend, but the new guy only has his eyes on you.

warnings: sudden kiss, cheating, mature language

genre: fake relationship, unrequited love

wc: 972 words

an: thank you for requesting love!!! i had a lot of fun brainstorming for this drabble and it’s like you read my mind because i already had a fake dating fic on my drafts (for a different fandom) that i’m hoping to rework for tbz but i didn’t know which members to choose. if inspiration strikes.. i might write the whole story who knows? wink wonk

tags: @carrotsworld @winterchimez @hyungseos-cafe | @deoboyznet

taking in your requests!!! — send a tbz member + song that reminds you of spring (or any song you like!)

you knew it was only a matter of time.

“be honest- i know you’re not dating him.”

you kept walking, trying to not actually run, lest he insists you’re avoiding the topic which in his defense, you are.

“wait up-”

still, you thought he’d be fooled for another week or two.

“y/n.”

of course, if anyone were to see through your lies, it would be your best friend.

“what is it to you, eric?” you managed to ask in a monotone.

he immediately blocked your way to face you directly the second you stopped walking. biting your lip, you tried to recall every line you wrote in the imaginary script you had prepared for this exact moment.

his hand on your forearm was enough to erase it all in a heartbeat.

“the new guy- really? come on, y/n- he’s not your type.”

eric raised his eyebrow, attempting to stifle a laugh. you can’t choose whether you want to slap or kiss that smirk on his face.

“you don’t know that,” you said bitterly.

he hesitated to answer you before he ultimately held back what he was going to say. dreading to hear what eric would have said, you took his hand away from your arm.

“quit pestering me about my relationship and just mind your own.”

“if i didn’t know any better, i would assume you’re being jealous.”

eric steps in a little closer. getting a good whiff of his cologne, you could recognize his favorite scent everywhere.

“i’m not-”

“-say that again?”

it was intoxicating, and frankly a little dangerous, never really knowing whether or not you liked that he had this effect on you.

“i said i’m not jealous.”

because you might be dating hyunjae but everyone knows you’ve always been in love with your best friend.

“what if i am?”

before you had the time to process his sudden confession, eric kissed you without hesitation.

for the longest time, you’ve wondered how his lips would feel against your own. now they’re dancing in a tune so familiar through the years you’ve spent longing. a million questions coursed through your mind every millisecond that passed by.

so, it didn’t take long for the warmth inside to be replaced by the burning in your chest. you pulled from the kiss and pushed him away.

“all this time,” you sneered, clenching your fists, “all this time- you knew.”

eric saw your gaze shift, unable to utter another word.

your punches started raining on his arm without protest. as if you can tell he acted on impulse, you were still uncertain if you still wished for it to be genuine. you want to believe eric didn't know any better.

unfortunately, you both knew exactly what he meant.

what this meant.

“y/n-”

eric’s sentence was interrupted by another punch that greeted his face. this time, it didn’t come from you.

“hyunjae!” you shouted.

“you fucker-” eric groaned, catching his balance.

“let’s go,” hyunjae takes your hand and forges ahead.

following his lead was your only option. you couldn’t even bear to look back at eric. you knew leaving was better than staying with him at that moment.

when you were finally alone, you yanked your hand out and stopped hyunjae in his tracks.

“why did you do that?” you asked, waiting for him to turn around.

“did he hurt you?”

“no- i’m asking why you punched him without knowing what was happening?”

hyunjae turns around, ready to say his piece. he stops and stares at your face, his eyes trailing down to your lips. smudged pigment.

“he kissed you,” he stated.

his tone was filled with spite, as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. you decided not to confirm nor deny. but the urge to explain it’s not what it looks like left your throat parched.

“we need to stop this. eric found out-

“-no, y/n. you don’t understand.”

“what do i not understand?”

hyunjae smiled without reaching his eyes. he ruffled his hair out of frustration, pacing a few steps in front of you.

“you’re still in denial and you’re being stupid. y/n, we both know that-”

you held your hand up in protest but he asked you to let him finish. and you put it down, not because you didn’t wish to defend yourself, but because you knew it would be useless.

“it doesn’t matter what eric found out. the point is he always knew you were fucking in love with him all these years and he chose to string you along and play with your feelings. it’s clear as fucking day.”

“stop.”

hyunjae waits for a moment before stepping closer and looks at your eyes. he stays silent but you can tell he wants to tell you something through his gaze.

your relationship might be pretend but you’ve spent enough time with him to know when he’s being an asshole or when he’s trying to help.

of course to your luck, he’s doing neither of those two.

“y/n.. i’m sorry for what i said but i won’t apologize for what i did. not when he kisses you while he’s in a relationship. not when he takes pleasure in having this control over you. not when he’s had you for years but only reacts when he finally doesn’t. not when-”

“so don’t apologize. just tell me why you’re acting like this,” you sighed.

it’s hard to argue against a wall of truth. you’ve always hated hearing what you needed to hear but laying it all down for you seems to be hyunjae’s past time the way he easily does.

“why i’m acting like what?” he asked, defensively.

“pretending to be a jealous boyfriend. you know, i never asked you to be this dedicated-”

“-y/n, i never pretended.”

[cuppasunu]

» DEOBI DAY SPECIAL REQUEST DELIVERY »

to: ally @winterchimez <3 req: sangyeon | dear me, by gentle bones summary: navigating the highs and lows of married life is never easy, but how will you fight for what you believe in? — doctor!sangyeon x reader warnings: mature language genre: fluff, angst, established relationship  wc: 1.3K words (????) an: guys, trust me... i thought this was just a short drabble. then, i finished and suddenly there were more than a thousand words. lovely song, allybear.. thank you so much for the request. i hope you like it! (join my taglist for updates!) tags: @winterchimez @hyungseos-cafe @carrotsworld | @deoboyznet taking in your requests!!! — send a tbz member + song that reminds you of spring (or any song you like tbh lol)

"so, that's it?"

sangyeon winces at your tone, but he doesn’t pause. he continued walking towards the counter to fetch his keys. the bag on his shoulder was heavy, but it did not compare to the weight looming over his head. 

he simply sighs—not much of a response to your question, but a reaction nonetheless.

you hate when he does that. words and complaints easily crawl out of you, sometimes almost bursting at the seams. raising your voice used to be a rare occurrence but you can’t count how many arguments you’ve had this week alone. 

now, his back is facing you, a couple steps away from the front door. you don’t see him close his eyes in frustration, but through sheer familiarity, you can sense how much he’s trying to hold back.

“sangyeon, don't walk out on me. please..”

“y/n, i’m just heading to work,” he says, plainly.

“-to work? it's only 3pm, your shift doesn't start until 6!”

sangyeon drops his head. his bag hits the floor and he massages his temples. still, he’s not turning around to face you. before you know it, you’re curling your fist at the corner of the throw pillow ready to be launched at his head but you caught yourself before doing it.

“why are we doing this again?”

“doing what? we need to talk-”

“no. we don't,” sangyeon stays firm. 

his sharpness catches you off guard. your heart is pounding, all too aware of how loud it is in comparison to the silence in the room. after taking a moment to compose himself, sangyeon noticed your lack of response. his deep breath broke the tension in the air and he shifted his body to face you—your expression unreadable.

expecting a smug, annoyed look on his face, you weren’t prepared to see his tired eyes face to face. he seemed small and weak, without a hint of contempt you were convinced would lash out at you.

fighting was never his pick of poison, so where did it all go wrong?

your gaze darted away, attempting to hide the tears forming in your eyes. 

“is there somebody else?” you ask, laughing in disbelief. you know it’s a question even you think is beyond ridiculous, but you had to.

“woah- hold on.” 

sangyeon’s shoulders tensed up as if his body had a visceral reaction to what you were insinuating. it wasn’t a surprise to see him speechless, the thought that you would even consider the chance he would become unfaithful never even crossed his mind.

“another woman? another man? shit- i dont know,” you rambled on, not knowing what to make of his response. 

“how did you jump to that, god- y/n no! of course not!”

“I don’t know! sangyeon, can’t you see? you’ve been so distant. i’m not one to hold the tiny things against you, but you’re missing dates? failing to show up over and over again for the past few months- without explanation. and- and you’re cold! putting up your walls.. hiding something from me.”

breathless, you pushed through your words and ignored the blurred vision from your dampened eyes.

you stop for a moment, “out of everyone, sangyeon, you’re holding things from me?”

“i'm not seeing anyone else.”

he remained calm despite your outburst. his eyes are clear, staring back at you like you’re a figment of his imagination. 

sangyeon keeps his clothes neat and pristine; cleanliness is a must for a physician. but his shoes are a constant reminder of his hard work.

you look down at his beat-up shoes, worn down from all the walking. the last time you brought up buying him a new pair, he brushed it off claiming that he loves that his shoes were worn in because it’s more comfortable that way.

but, that’s all you hear about his work.

he rarely shares anything about how he’s doing, much less talking about how he’s struggling.

so, you don’t press. you don’t want to pry. 

snapping out of his trance, sangyeon sees you hesitate. he knows that look on your face when you want to ask something you’re not sure you can ask. he takes a moment to choose his words carefully and notices how he’s starting to forget how this argument even started. 

“please tell me,” you pleaded.

“it's mom.”

"what?"

you’re confused. you’ve only heard about sangyeon’s mother through his stories and seen her through a few pictures. clearly, she hasn’t been present in your lives other than a painful reminder of his tumultuous childhood.

"she's back.."

now, his small and defeated child-like demeanor made sense. 

“when?”

“she came in through the er a few months ago. i haven't seen her in years. and - i thought that when i finally do, she'd be living big, you know? that’s how i always imagined her after she abandoned me with that man-”

sangyeon ran his hand across his face, “actually seeing that would have been better. for everything to have been worth it, but she... she's not doing good.” 

his voice broke, struggling to continue his last sentence. the man you’ve shared your life with is breaking down at your front steps, and for the first time, you don’t know what to do.

“those calls, going back to the hospital late at night? all for…” you asked.

he nodded.

“sangyeon, were you- not gonna tell me? were you planning to shoulder all of this alone? carry all this burden all by yourself?”

“at first, i didn't think it would be severe-”

“-babe..”

“i know, i know. i just thought.. you didn't have to know. so yes, i would have kept it hidden for as long as i can because..” his voice trails off.

you come up to him, your steps are calm yet urgent. you held his hand and he felt like you just caught him from falling. your other hand caressed his cheek, lifting his gaze back to you. 

he’s trembling like the whispers of his thoughts tried to escape his lips.

“see you like what?”

“i don't want you to see me like this, broken, falling apart. this is not the man you married. i'm sorry…you didn’t sign up for any of this. i- i’ve been struggling for a while now, but i’m trying. believe me, i’m trying.”

he smiles weakly, finding it a little funny that you’re wiping his face dry as your tears are drenching your own. you mirrored his expression, completely taken by the vulnerability that the love of your life has displayed right then and there. 

sniffling, you managed to say, “you’re not falling apart. not when i’m here. and babe, we talked about this. i can’t read your mind, i won’t know your struggles unless we talk, and i- i know i can be more patient, but you can’t assume we won’t overcome this together if you can’t trust me.”

sangyeon rests his forehead on yours. your arm sliding up his back as his embrace opens up to bring you in closer. 

“i got scared,” he whispered, barely audible.

“why?”

“i had to accept that i’m not as strong as i thought i was.”

you broke the hug to look him in the eyes. you squinted, meaning to chastise, but the warmth of your palm against his face spoke a million words. 

“you would be a complete idiot to think i didn’t sign up for everything that involves you- even the messy days, the breakdowns, moments you feel like shit- i signed up for all of it the day i said yes. it’s important to me that you understand, okay?”

you waited for him to nod in response. asking over and over again until he complies, making him chuckle, even if it was for just a second.

“okay,” sangyeon rubbed his poor swollen eyes.

“so, i’m coming with you to visit her today?” you asked, waiting for confirmation, then sensed his body finally relax. he nodded and smiled in relief, feeling the weight on his shoulders gone.

“you’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

that's when sangyeon knew he’d never run out of reasons for loving you.

an: oh, this is totally inspired by the pitt. imagine a distressed doctor trying his best while juggling a hundred million things. brainrot has combined in all my fixations oh yeaaaah... very indulgent, very nice :)

[from-izzy]

[00:35] | ateez choi san

“And if I do?”

pairing » ateez choi san x fem!reader

trope/au » established relationship au, non-idol au

genre » very fluffy, falling asleep during studying and boyfriend san who is worried for you because you don't take the greatest care of yourself, (it really was supposed to be fluff all through the end) turns suggestive towards the last quarter of the story, reader is a bit playful, san is very in love with you, of course you are super in love with him too

word count; estimated reading time » 1032; ~4 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » quite suggestive at the end, indeed...a suggestive sentence at the very end, san lifts the reader up, reader wears glasses, reader implied to be smaller than san, san restrains reader's hands, pet names (bubs, baby girl)

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 ateez masterlist 🤍 the boyz lee juyeon ver.

my ateez debut! here it is @jaehunnyy !! i really wanted to post smth for your bday so please take this as a late bday present 😭 thanks for proofreading a bit of this one and finding the pictures for the banners 🥰 you saved me a bunch of tears fr 😀 have fun with the second one (even though it's the same...😭)

It’s not an unusual occurrence for you to be staying up late at night and for San to find you draped over your books and worksheets when he gets home. In fact, it’s becoming such a usual occurrence that San is making it a habit to open the front door with such gentleness that the click of the door opening would be too loud for his liking. In reality, your study desk at your shared apartment is quite a distance from the entrance of the apartment, so if San wanted to, he could enter in the same way as if you were awake.

But he didn’t want to.

In the rare case that you decide to snooze off on the couch, he doesn’t want to be the one to ruin your precious, peaceful sleeping time. Unfortunately for him, he would still be needing to do it one way or another if he ever finds you asleep on the couch or anywhere but your shared bed. The victorious smile from closing the front door quietly soon turns upside down, frowning at the sight of your head lying on your stack of handouts in the study room. The stack acted as your pillow, your arms around the rectangular pile. You look like you have been resting your body for some time now, given that San’s soft head pat didn’t faze you at all. With a slightly heavy sigh, San makes his way to the other side of the desk to get a better look at your face. He kneels on the floor, content with being more at eye level with you. 

He’s surprised to see that you must’ve been so exhausted that taking your glasses off might have been too much effort for you. The side frame completely rests on the paper, the nose pad of the glasses no longer resting properly on your nose. San hisses at how the hard plastic pushes against your nose, already imagining the pain when you wake up and realise tomorrow.

“Bubs,” he tests your consciousness with a whisper. “Your whole body is going to hurt when you wake up, you know?” Your breathing is still as even as before, and the no response from you deepens his frown. “I’m sorry, but I’m going to move you, okay?” 

San rises to his feet once again, grabbing the blanket drapped on your study desk that he has prepared. He’s told you multiple times to at least cover your body if you don’t plan to take a nap on the bed, but he should have known that when tiredness kicks in, all a person wants to do is to close their eyes. San spreads the light cotton across your back, kissing the side of your head and humming sweet melodies to avoid surprising you too much with his movement.

“San?” You slur sleepily, still unable to fully wake up. San clicks your desk light off and soon sees your content smile at his little gesture. “When did you get home?”

“Just a few seconds ago. When did you fall asleep?”

“Just a few minutes ago.” A raised eyebrow from your boyfriend is what prompts you to tell him the truth. “A little longer than that.”

San tuts disapprovingly, “You can’t keep slouching off on the table. It’s not good for your body. And this,” he takes your glasses off by the hinges, “it’s not comfortable for you.”

You hum at his loving lecture for you, beginning to straighten your back from the long nap. Truthfully, if San weren’t beside you right now, you would be sending complaints to your past self for dozing off at the table, your back cramping and sore. But Choi San knows you too well, and the creases between your eyebrows tell him everything.

“See?” He reprimands. 

You’re not given another chance to rebut when he swivels the chair around for you to face him. In a second, you’re in his arms, the back of your knee and back supported securely with his arms, and your shoulder pressed against his chest. San looks down at you, pressing a quick kiss on your forehead that you respond to by pressing yours along his jawline. Along the short walk to the adjacent room, you plant kisses all over his face, giggling at the way his cheeks grow red with every second. 

Just a few seconds before San would rest you gently on the mattress, you steal a kiss from his plump lips, arms wrapped around his nape and threading your fingers into the strands of his hair. San almost stumbles but soon regains balance when he registers the way you delicately take his lips. Along with the giggles and fabric rustling against each other in the small room, it’s not long until your head properly lays on a pillow. San doesn’t let you breathe after, climbing on top of your figure with his palms beside your head to support himself. His knees sink to the mattress beside your thighs, and you’re left breathless with the man before you. The remnants of his cologne are clearer now, and the proximity leaves you curling up a side of your lips.

Your boyfriend knows the meaning of your expression well from experience. “Don’t rile me up, baby girl…”

Just like he did a second ago, your eyebrow rises. Your pointer traces along the center of his exposed neck, feeling the gulp and his intense stare on you. You glide across his skin, tracing along his collarbones slowly, making sure that your touch lingers on his skin. When your finger slides down to the neckline of his fabric, it curls around his shirt to pull his tense expression closer to you. A quick touch of your lips is all you spare him before regaining eye contact with him.

“And if I do?”

Those words are enough for San to lose control, pulling the sheets to his palms as he fists them tightly. One hand leaves the bed, restraining both your wrists under his hold above your head. He dives closer to the crook of your neck, ragged breathing and warm breath against your skin.

“I’ll make sure you’ll sleep peacefully for days.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 ateez masterlist 🤍 the boyz lee juyeon ver.

tags: @k-films @kflixnet @starlit-network @kstrucknet @blossomnet

@haneul-and-clouds @jaehunnyy @mars101