I would LOVEEE a Tae yan fic, I'd love anything you write tbh, I just can't read another universe because I don't think I can handle infidelity đđ also, is the infidelity in another universe between the mcs or background characters?
Gosh youâre so sweet đĽšđĽšđЎ. I really do want to write more fics. Sometimes I wish someone would find a way to write down everything thatâs going in my head instead of having to actually sit and down and write em word by word. I have million different story ideas in my head and no time to write anything (and to read too). But Iâll make this one happen as soon as I can I promise. And about IAU Iâm so sorry that I had to make it infidelity. I just love writing complicated stories. Because I believe itâs how it is. No one is white or black. We do what we think is right. But Iâm not romanticizing it or condoning it. Itâs wrong. I donât defend JMâs and MCâs actions in IAU. Theyâre wrong. But those kind of things always happen irl and will continue to happen. I just wanted to write a story where itâs not either black or white. I wanted the entire thing to be in grey zone and be messy af. So, unfortunately the infidelity in IAU happens between JM and MC đ but Iâll make sure to beings another work that you can actually enjoy.
Thanks for this ask lovely đŠˇđĽš your support means a lot to me đš
Synopsis â When you are just another iteration of Park Jiminâs girlfriend in a different universe.
Park Jimin Ă Reader
Genre â parallel universe / kind of fantasy/ strangers to ??/ SMUT/ maybe romance/ angst/ fluff /Infidelity
Warnings- Language/ Angst / INFIDELITY /SMUT- Bondage, shit ton of usual dirty talking, rough sex, name calling, oral (M. Receiving), they do it while on a call, spit play, multiple orgasms, cum play, cum feeding, this is disgusting tbh đĽ˛
Word count- 37K
a/n- I know I'm taking too long for updates. Honestly, I didn't expect this story to drag out this long. Maybe, just maybe none of you want to read this anymore but I feel so sad to just give up on this. So, I'll make sure to finish it even if it takes time. Though, this is an old excuse, I really find it hard to find a time to just sit down and write. Especially, for the past few weeks/months I've been so burned out that writing felt like a chores. But I like the way how this one turned out. Anyway, my apologies in advance if there's so many mistakes in this chapter because I couldn't triple check and edit it like I normally do. Still, I hope you'll enjoy it and like always I love you all â¤ď¸
The silence is uncomfortable. Unbearable. Not even the distant noises of traffic or the faintest sounds of the musical playing on the TV can beat that silence. Jimin has no idea how long itâs been since he arrived here. Ten minutes? Five minutes? Maybe itâs just a couple seconds. But it sure does feel as if heâs waited here forever. In utter silence following Seoyeonâs departure. He knows that sheâs somewhere around. Has just left so he and Liya would have some privacy. Privacy that Jimin doesnât want to have. If anything, he wants to be back on a plane. Heading home.Â
Yes, he wants to get this done. Quickly. So, he can go back to you.
Jimin averts his gaze to the woman on the opulent queen size bed in the VIP hospital room. The moment he had stepped inside this room, one of his suspicions vanished. Thisâwhat Seoyeon had let him knowâwasnât a trick. Not one of many plans of Kim Liya. Sheâs actually sick. She looks small bundled in white sheets. Face the color of ash and lips matching her face. Eyes sunken. She looks weak. Weak like you did. It has happened so gradually and slowly Jimin hasnât realized how much youâve started to glow lately. Becoming healthy. He certainly hasnât realized that Liya was losing it.Â
Fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
He doesnât know what to do. Like you said, neither him nor you would ever want to see Liya wither into dust. But he doesnât know how to make it right. Thatâs why he should talk to her, which he hasnât done until this very moment. He hasnât spoken a single word to his ex-girlfriend. Maybe he should now. Askâ
âI want you to help me.â Before Jimin could finish the thought, Liyaâs weak voice rises above the other faintest of noises. Yet despite how weak her voice is, thereâs an edge to it. Despite how inaudible her voice is, thereâs an order laced to the tone. Sheâs not requesting it. Sheâs demanding. Like she always had. From the beginning of their relationship to the end. And now? Even after their relationship.Â
Jimin has to clench his jaw so he wouldnât snap at her. Back then, when they were a couple, Jimin had felt bad whenever they fought about not meeting Liyaâs commandsâwhich she believed to be requests. No more though. He leans forward in the chair heâs been sitting, placed next to Liyaâs bed. He braces his forearms on his knees, eyes directly on the woman in front of him.
âWhy would I do that?â Asks calmly as he can.Â
âBecause, you owe me thatââ
Jimin knows what sheâs about to say even before she could start. âI owe you nothing.â So, he interrupts her before she finishes that damn sentence. Because, he doesnât. Doesnât owe her anything. Not that heâs defending his actions to cheat on her. No. No matter what had happened. No matter what game she played, Jimin wasnât entitled to do that. And he never meant to do that. Heâd forever think about the million other ways how he couldâve done this right. Yet, heâs not going to be in her debt. Like he had done all the time. All because he believed she made him.Â
What a pathetic lie that heâd believed.
When you first told him the truth, he felt stupid. So stupid that he wanted to hide. Away from you. Away from the world. How could someone be so idiotic to believe in a lie for that long. Allowed to be manipulated so hard. He had felt like a kid who got tricked by his own parents. How embarrassing? Yet, in the end, there was the relief to finally know that he wasn't a loser like he thought.Â
Still, that matter is something he wishes never to speak with someone. Even with Liya. Especially with Liya. Hence his silence as he gapes at her pale face. Liya, though, is a smart woman. Itâs not always a necessity to tell her things word by word. In that pure silence, she understands. Or realizes. Her next words are proof of it.Â
âI did what I had to do.âÂ
âAre you kidding me?â Jimin yet again fails to keep his voice at bay. To refrain from snapping. Itâs just too much. âWhat you had to do?â He straightens up, a hand stretched toward the closed door. âYou mean you had to get a man so youâd be even with your damn best friend? You had to?â Jimin grits his teeth. He canât start yelling here. No. Not here. âIsnât that fucking stupid, Liya? Arenât you even feeling sorry for her? You did everything you could do to compete with her. You never saw her as a friend. And sheâs the only one you have. Even though she knows that, sheâs here. Sheâs here for you. Youâre an awful friend. And you say you fucking had to do that? You did that to me and Seoyeon too.âÂ
Even with everything else, Jimin would always admire Seoyeon for that. For being with Liya even though she knows that sheâll never get the same treatment. Seoyeon, in that sense, is an amazing person.Â
A silence falls over following his words. Then Liya mumbles with another deep breath. Voice weak. âYou wonât understand. I did what I had to do.âÂ
Jimin can only scoff. Thereâd be no changing of her mind. Sheâll never admit her own flaws. What a waste of time and words? Why would he care anyways. âWell, good for you, Liya. But I still donât owe you anything.â He says a bit calmly this time. Ready to get to his feet. Not wanting to hear it anymore. But Liya rushes to stop him.Â
âThatâs not the same as cheating.â She barks. Apparently puts all her remaining strength into that she immediately winces.Â
âI never said it was.â Jimin agrees with her right away. âIf I owe you anything, LiyaâŚthen that means you owe me as well.â This time Jimin manages to get to his feet. Only to be stopped when Liya yells through her lungs. Weak or not, she makes Jimin flinch.
âThen you owe me for this!â She gestures at her body. âYouâre maybe allowed to replace me in your life, but youâre not entitled to do that to me in my life. This is my life. You canât steal it from me.â Continues as Jimin freezes in his spot. There they go. Finally, on the topic. The reason why Jimin is here. âYou owe me my life, Park Jimin.â She finishes in a quiet whisper.Â
Jimin takes a minute. He can still walk away. Not giving a fuck about this. But⌠but⌠she looks like she's minutes apart from withering into dust. And he doesnât want that. You donât want that. He has to listen. See what he can do. He heaves a heavy sigh. âWhat happened?" Asks without bothering to take a seat again.Â
âThe same thing that happened to Li.â Liya doesnât ask Jimin to sit back either. She keeps her eyes directly on his.Â
âB-but how?â Jimin furrows. âThey said only oneââ
âAnd that one is me, Jimin.â Liya shifts in her position, with a great effort. âFrom now on, the one whoâs going to be doomed is me.â Seethes. âSheâs not going home anymore, is she? Sheâs stuck here?âÂ
Though that's a question, Jimin feels itâs more of a statement. He doesnât know how she got to know that. There wonât be any benefit in lying, however. Jimin stays silent. And Liya takes that as a yes.Â
âApparentlyâŚâ Liya carries on. âThatâs because something has changed. Because she has a purpose now. I donât know what that is. Maybe itâs you... She has a reason to wake up everyday. But, I donât, Jimin. Iâm losing my purpose. Any reason to wake up every day and sheâs replacing me.âÂ
Her words hang in the air. Jimin sucks in a breath. He has to fight the urge to fall back into the seat. Well, this is what theyâve expected. Yet deep down Jimin wanted this to be something else. Something that has nothing to do with his selfishness. Greediness. Something that has nothing to do with you.Â
You got a purpose!Â
He gapes at Liya while her words echo in his head. You got a purpose. Is it really him? The whole reason behind why you stopped shifting between the two worlds. He doesnât know what to say. What to ask. His tongue is tied.Â
âWeâhowâitâs not like I was your purpose, Liya.â Jimin finally manages to stutter.Â
âMaybe you were a part of it, Jimin.â Her eyes blaze as she regards Jimin. If she could, she'd definitely kill him. âAnd itâs not just you I lost. With youâŚI lost my whole life. I don't know who told you the agreement between my father and everything else, but Iâm glad they did so I donât have to explain this. You already know what happened and what will happen. My father will disown me. Forfeit me of his inheritance. Andââ She gulps hard. âAnd theyâll vote me out as the CEO of The SE. I donât care about his inheritance but Iâd lose my company, Jimin. Iâd lose my purpose. I am losing my purpose.âÂ
With that Liya manages to make Jimin suck in a breath. âBut thatâs bullshit. You manage the company so fucking well. You made that company.â Rest aside, Jimin knows thatâs the truth. Liya could be many things but she never was a failed leader. Itâs ridiculous that anyone would want to fire her from the company. Specifically, when sheâs doing so damn great.Â
âSay that to the board.â Liyaâs eyes burn with a fire. Yet, she looks helpless. As if no matter how much anger or fire is there within her, nothing could help her. Nothing would change the situation.Â
âThey canât just do it without a reason.â Even when he says that, Jimin knows they can. Liyaâs father is the king of this kingdom and others will follow his decision blindly, without reasons. Liya rolls her eyes.Â
âWe both know they can,â She scoffs. âAnd they have a reason.â Mutters. Eyes back on Jimin. âItâs not just you who suffered from the recent events, Jimin. I did too. Even when Iâm the one who got cheated.â Another tiny scoff. âStill some stupid people out there are taking your side. Boycotting me and spreading hate. Rumors. They even say it wasnât me who dated you from the start. Andââ She gulps. None of these are news to Jimin. He knows it has been. Has been avoiding social media and other forms of gossip sites, and news up to this very day. But he knows what people are saying. âAnd itâs affecting the sales, Jimin. So, they do have a reason to fire me. Theyâll do it.âÂ
Unfair.
Thatâs not fair at all. He, out of all people, knows how hard it is to manage a business. The amount of time thatâd be sacrificed. The hard decisions and stress. And to lose that just because you got cheated?
Outrageous.
How could Kim do that when he knows it as well? When he knows how capable Liya is?
Fuck, this is all his fault. He created this mess. So he gives up being hostile. Maybe, just maybe, like you said, he can help to fix it.Â
âWhatâs the plan?â At the end of Liyaâs ramble he asks. This time a tad gently. Liya doesnât answer him. Her face gives away nothing. Then after a long second, she sighs.Â
âHelp me convince himâthe board, and my father that weâre still together.â Words leave her mouth like a tidal wave. Jiminâs jaw hangs open slightly as those words hit him. Liya, however, doesnât notice that. Or she doesnât care about that. âThe rules were simple. All I had to do was keep you as my boyfriend. Cheating was not a problem. I mean it was, especially when the public got to know it. But my father never said anything about you just cheating. It was all about you leaving me for someone else.â She takes a deep breath. Finally, turns to look at him. âSo, help meââ
âNo!â Jiminâs voice booms across the hospital room. He doesnât intend to say the word so loud but it canât be helped it seems. Liya has lost her mind. Jimin canât believe the audacity. The sheer absurdity. âAre you fucking kidding me, Liya? Do you hear yourself?âÂ
âIââ Liya does her best to sit up on the bed. As if doing so would make Jimin agree to the stupid request of her. âAm not joking, Jimin. This is about my life. Why would I be joking about my life?âÂ
Jimin chuckles. Not a scoff but a chuckle. One more minute in this conversation would get him laughing. âWell, still no, Liya. Thatâs ridiculous and Iââ He stops himself. A deep breath. He doesnât think thereâs a point in humoring this idea in any way. So, with a shake of his head, Jimin retrieves a step. âIâm sorry, Liya. Iâd be happy to help you in any other way. Maybe, come up with another plan. Iâm not going to pretend to be your boyfriend.âÂ
âWhy the hell not.â Liya barks. Her delicate fists have gripped the sheets so tight that her knuckles have turned white. Jimin drops his gaze from her face to her hands for a second. Now, he knows this must be damn hard for her. Askingâbegging for help. From him out of all people. This must be hurting her ego as if sheâs physically getting crushed under a boulder. Then to be rejected? He canât imagine the mortification. Liya wasnât raised to take âNoâs for an answer. Hasnât raised to be rejected. Jimin knows this is painful for her. Yet, heâs not going to do it. No. Heâs not going to mess things up with you even for a second. Youâre the most previous things to him. Everything and anything else can be doomed. Even if it makes him evil than he already is.Â
âBecause we broke up, Liya. I went on public and claimed that I cheated on you and weâre no longer in a relationshipââÂ
âThatâs not a problem. You can say it was a mistake.â Liya doesnât let him finish talking. Frustration bubbles inside Jimin. He should leave or else heâd be causing a scene in here. Which wonât be good for him.Â
âYouâve gone crazy, Liya. Just listen to yourself.â
âOh câmon⌠itâs not that hard you know? You did this to me. You and your littleââ
âWatch your words, Liya.â Jimin finally yells. Not giving a fuck about people hearing or how itâd affect him. âI wonât just sit back and listen to you fucking insult her every day.âÂ
Itâs Liyaâs time to chuckle this time. âGosh I canât believe this. What does she have that youâre so blind by her, JiminâŚâ She shakes her head. Seemingly in disbelief. Yet she doesnât wait for him to reply. To say all those millions of things he could say about you in answer to her question. Starting from your smile to ending with your little huffs you let out when youâre annoyed at him. From your every âHiâ to your every âByeâ. She starts talking again. âWell, you did it before.â She changes the topic of the conversation. âWith her. You made her pretend like me and you pretended to be her boyfriend. When you werenât in love with her. So why canât you do it again?âÂ
Jimin doesnât know if he wasnât in love with you back then. He knows that he liked you, however. Liked the way you looked at him with such wide eyes that first dayânot that he liked the fact you were in such distress. But you had it in with you. That magnet which pulled him in. He liked the way you bickered with him. The way you dressed. The way you looked at him. And everything else. Maybe it wasnât love. But to answer Liyaâs question, âBecause neither was I with you.â He chooses the primal truth.Â
A silence falls in the room. Liya doesnât care about the fact that Jimin didnât love her. He knows it. So does she. His words donât hurt her. She only cares about getting him to agree. Which is why he should just leave now. âIâm not doing it, Kim Liya. I want to help you. I do. Not this way. Find another way and ask me again.â With that he turns around. Takes a step away.Â
âJimin!â Liya yells his name, causing him to stop again and turn his head. Just gazing at her with a questioning stare. Liya, though, doesnât say anything. Just stare back at him with a look torn between a heated glare and a plea. Yet, she doesnât voice it out. Nothing. Good. Since, Jimin doesnât want to hear her beg as well. Not that sheâll ever do that anyway.Â
He waits a few seconds in that silence, giving Liya the chance to say whatever she wants if sheâs going to. When nothing comes up he finally turns his head away. Steps out of the hospital room while Liyaâs gaze burns a hole in the back of his head.Â
He does want to help her. He has meant his words. But not this way. He wonât risk anything. He wonât let anything complicate you and him. Nothing. Not a person. Not a business. Not god damn anything in this world. Heâs not going back to the place where he had to just look at you from afar whenever someone is with you in the room. When he couldnât touch you, kiss you as he wished. No.Â
He doesnât even care what that makes of him. Being selfish no longer makes him want to jump out of a bridge. Heâd be selfish over and over again. He just wants you and thatâs it.Â
Jimin walks in utter silence through the short passage that connects the room with the lobby. Only the thoughts inside his head thundering. Maybe this trip is a complete waste. He shouldnât have come. He shouldâve known that Liya is going to request something ridiculous. With a heavy sigh, Jimin almost turns around the corner to the lobby when a voice comes from behind him.Â
âAre you going to let the poor child die, darling?âÂ
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
You groan deeply as you open your eyes to witness the soft streaks of sunlight leaking into the apartment. You couldâve done with a couple more hours of sleep but the voices coming from the kitchen are getting louder and louder.Â
âFucking hell! How the hell can I make this work?â Thatâs definitely Jimin whoâs whisper-yelling. Or at least he might be thinking heâs doing that when in reality heâs speaking so loud that it woke you up.Â
âWhat?â Then thereâs Jungkook whoâs refusing to keep his voice any lower than Jimin. âI told you million fucking time that you need to hold it like this. Are you dumb? How are you a CEO when youâre stupid like a chicken?âÂ
âItâs not my fucking fault you have a broken coffee machine that needs a rocket scientist to get it to work.â Jimin gasps. Yet again not so quietly.Â
You should be offended that they are being stupid. The reaction youâre letting out, however, is a grin thatâs so wide and foolish you have to bite on your lower lip to keep it contained. Itâs not everyday that Jimin stays at Jungkookâs. Mainly because you want to respect Jungkookâs feelings and Jimin wants to respect yours. And you know he doesnât want to hurt Jungkook intentionally either. But whenever Jimin stays for the night, this type of conversation never goes without occurring.Â
You roll onto your side. Ready to wake up. Going back to sleep would be useless when there are two idiots who are arguing over a coffee machine. You feel fairly fine when you stay laid and not moving your body very much. When you try to sit back, though, you feel as if every cell of your body has swollen and your limbs have grown heavy.Â
Fuck, youâre so tired!
You have been for weeks now. And it keeps worsening with every passing day. The things happening in your life aren't helping your situation either. Itâs been two weeks since Jimin has returned from his trip to Milano. With the news that Liya in fact wasnât lying. That she and you had somehow reversed your roles. Now sheâs the one whoâd be in pain any time someone mistook her to be you. Itâs crazy. No. Not just crazy. Itâs freaking terrifying. Youâve felt your legs buckle and your insides vacating for a second when you first heard the story. The thing is though, you donât know any way to help her. Especially since her plan is absurd.Â
One thing is certain. You donât want to sit back and watch Jimin go back to being her boyfriend again. Even for pretense. You donât want to watch them go in for dinners, talking to the mediaâclaiming that they were back together or anything else thatâd make people believe in these bullshits. No you wonât survive that. Still you want to help her. You want her safe. Doing whatever she wants to do with her life. Youâre the bitch who caused all these complications. So you want to fix them. Then youâll at least have the peace of mind that everything worked out just fine in the end.Â
Yet, no matter how hard you think you find no way of helping her. You know itâs bugging Jimin as well. The first few weeks after he returned heâs been so distant. Lost in his own head. Distracted. You couldnât blame him. You both are feeling the same thing. Still, unlike you, Jimin has pulled his shit together. Maybe heâs got a plan. Or just like he told you, he believes that Liya would find another way. Heâd help her with it if he could. So would you. Until then, all you can do is wait. Itâs scary but itâs all you got. Like how it has been all these months.Â
With a heavy sigh, you force your aching body to sit up before you stretch your body out of the mattress. The little squabble of two men still going inside the kitchen.Â
âJust hold it that way, man.â Jungkook bellows. His tone is nothing but a mix of real frustration.
âI am holding it that way. Itâs fucking broken.â Jiminâs voice, equally full of different kinds of frustration, closely follows. âThis is too much to deal with in the morning. You need a new coffee maker.â Adds. Oh, you agree. Youâve struggled with the said thing a lot at first as well.Â
âI donât.â Jungkook refuses to take Jiminâs advice right away. You donât know why Jungkook is reluctant to replace the damn thing anyway.Â
âYou do.â Jimin doesnât back away it seems. You start padding toward the kitchen slowly. Barefoot and relishing in the coldness of the floor.Â
âI fucking donât, Park.âÂ
âImma buy you a new one.â
âImma kick you out of my house.âÂ
Jimin gasps so loud just as you step in the doorway. The sight of Jiminâs offended face which is gaping at Jungkookâs greet your sleepy eyes. Jungkook has his hand on the coffee machine, holding it the way it should.Â
âYouâre such a brat, Jeon Jungkook. You should be honored that the CEO of RUN is making coffee in your stuffy kitchen.â Jimin at last says with such a dramatic shake of his head that anyone who doesnât hear the words theyâre exchanging would surely think theyâre a couple about to break up. Jungkook snorts at that very unpleasantly. They donât even notice your presence.Â
âHonored? Thatâs the best joke of the year. And did you call my kitchen stuffy you stupidââ
âSeriously guys!â You interrupt whatever insult thatâs about to leave Jungkookâs pretty lips. At your unexpected voice, both men snap their heads toward you. A bit startled. They both spend a minute blinking at your face. Then at the same time they point a finger at each other.Â
âHe started it!â So do they yell in unison. You roll your eyes as you finally step inside the kitchen.Â
âIt doesnât matter,â You grumble, not really annoyed but finding their fight utterly stupid. âYou woke me up.âÂ
Both of their faces fall as you watch. Jiminâs the first one to approach you, however. The freshly made black coffee in his hands. âIâm so sorry baby. How about coffee as an apology?â He pouts. Makes you grin.Â
âWell, that sounds acceptable.â You take the steaming mug from his hand.Â
âSorry, Noona.â Jungkook mumbles as well. In the middle of the process of making a second cup of coffee. âBut he started it.â Adds nonetheless.Â
You shake your head in resignation before you say to Jimin, âDonât try to convince him to buy a new one. Useless. He wonât throw that away even if you threaten him with his life.âÂ
Jungkook narrows his eyes at you. âYes, because itâs perfectly fine. Donât tell me having a rich boyfriend has gotten into your head, Noona.âÂ
âOf course, not.â You defend yourself immediately. Itâs Jiminâs time to narrow his eyes at you. You give him a look of apology. It works. He doesnât argue back. Instead walks over to Jungkook to take the next cup of coffee. Only to lose it by milliseconds when Jungkook grabs it faster than him.
âYah!â Jimin yells. Jungkook pats his shoulder without a care.Â
âLearn how to make your own coffee, Mr Park!â He says as he practically storms away from the kitchen. As if despite his words heâs afraid that Jimin would snatch the precious cup out of his hand.Â
âI know how to make my damnâŚcoffeeâŚâ Jimin mumbles into Jungkookâs retrieving back. Then his eyes turn to you. Looks like a wounded puppy. Or more of a child that is asking justice from his mommy. âDidi you see that? Heâs a fucking brat.âÂ
You let yourself giggle as you take the matters into your own hand. Ready to make the next cup of coffee by yourself. âWhy the fuck are you two look like a enemies to lovers trope?â You place the cup on the drip tray.Â
âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â Jimin questions, stepping behind you and curling his arms around you. Palms on your belly over your hoodie. Youâre close to starting your second trimester. Yet thereâs no showing still. Lately, you and Jimin have both become obsessed with checking for a baby bump. Silly. You do it anyway, though.Â
âThis is exactly how enemies to lovers book tropes start. They fight like cats at first and then they fall in love.â You explain, making Jimin scoff.
âOver my dead body.â He rubs your tummy gently. âWhat about us? We fought a lot? Are we enemies to lovers?â Asks on the second thought. You take a minute to consider the question. Shake your head.Â
âNo. I never hated you.âÂ
âMe neither.â Jimin agrees. His chin now on the top of your head. You both know thatâs the truth. You liked him from the first day. Maybe he did too. The thing is, however, that neither of you wanted to acknowledge it. Simply because it was wrong. So wrong to be in love when he had someone in his life. Maybe both of you wanted to avoid this type of situation. Situation where thereâs always something thatâll get destroyed no matter what. Including Liya. You try your best to push thoughts about Liya away from your head. Impossible. Sheâs plaguing your mind day and night. You wonder how Jimin does it. Act normal when he knows that heâs a partial cause of someoneâs doom.Â
âWant breakfast?â Jiminâs sudden voice brings you back to the earth. Liya slowly fades away. You pout hard, letting your body decide whether it wants to eat this morning or want to throw up at the sound of food. It doesnât. Luckily your body has started to get accustomed to the notion of food again. Youâve been able to stomach most of the food, most of the time. Youâd get sick of some tastes and aromas, of course. Especially in the mornings. This day seems to be a good day that you feel nothing but hunger at Jiminâs proposition.Â
You nod eagerly causing Jimin to giggle. His body vibrates lightly at the act. You press more into his body. You may have tried to avoid being the doom of someone. Yours or Liyaâs. But still you know youâd do it again. Do it a million different times if it gets you wrapped up in his arms.Â
âWhat do you want?â Jimin mumbles in your ear. Your heart feels warm. So warm. You hum in contemplation. Going through different food options in your head until your brain stops and refuses to move away from a particular one.
âPancakes,â You gush. Mouth already watering. Ever since your body starts to accept food again, youâve grown fond of sweets in a very unhealthy way. âWith syrup.â So you add. âLots of em.âÂ
You can feel Jiminâs smile. âRight away.â He places a kiss on the top of your head. Almost moves away from you when you hear Jungkook yelling, probably from his room.Â
âIf anybody is making pancakesâŚ.â Heâs practically shouting for his life. âThey better make some for me as well. I meant it when I say I can kick anyone out.â
Both you and Jimin gasp this time. Only Jimin answers Jungkook. âFuck you! Iâm not making you anything!â He screeches so loud that you wince through your laugh.Â
Despite your words earlier, you know Jungkook and Jimin are no more friends than you and Liya. Theyâre just tolerating each other. Mainly, Jungkook is tolerating Jimin. Because it puts you in ease. It does. Partially, however. You wonât be at peace when you know it must be terribly hard on Jungkook. Even though he doesnât show it. Heâs a good actor anyway. You know it hurts. He just acts as if it doesnât. Hell, heâs been the one to ask Jimin to stay over last night. Claiming he wanted to beat Jiminâs ass on this video game which is owned by Jimin himself.Â
You have no idea whatâs going inside his head. Donât know how heâs doing that. You want to scream at him. Ask him to stop just trying to take care of you so much. Walking into the lengths where it hurts, hurts, and hurts. Only if you had the courage to have that long due talk though. You are yet to tell Jungkook that youâd be moving out. That selfish part of you isnât letting you take that step. The greedy partâthe coward inside you is taking every and each excuse to avoid having that conversation.Â
You should do it soon. Before itâs too late. You really shouldâ
âWhat is it?â Jimin puts an end to your trail of thoughts again, probably sensing that youâre troubled. His cheek replaces the chin on top of your head. Nestling more into you. You suppress the huge sigh thatâs about to leave you. Not wanting to taint the mood. Yet before you can claim itâs nothing, Jimin questions you again. âIs it Liya?â
So you allow the sigh to escape. No need to lie. Not to Jimin anyways. âYes, that andâŚâ Another sigh. âAnd Kook. I have to talk to him and I know I have to do it soon.â Jimin hasnât pushed you to quicken the moving out process. Heâs been so damn understanding that it has started to make you feel guilty. You donât know when Jiminâs patience would snap. Donât know whether this makes him feel hurt. âI just donât know how to start it.â You groan in frustration. At yourself. âIâll justâmaybe Iââ
âBabyâŚâ Jiminâs arms tightens around you, putting a stop to your guilt tripping. âItâs okay, you know?â Kisses the side of your head. âTake your time, Lil. I can wait. We can wait⌠I mean, if you want to start living with me from this moment? Then thank fuck, I want nothing else. But we can take it slow. Donât stress, Princess, things will work out.âÂ
Fuck! You know Park Jimin in love is a different creature, but never in your lifetime have you expected to see him being such a sweetheart.Â
âI thought youâre a jealous asshole, Park. Iâm impressed.â You pick up the now filled coffee cup, ready to hand it over to Jimin.Â
âI am a jealous asshole. I just love you.â He addresses your issue before you can turn around in his hold. Your worry fades into distance as the tiniest of a smile starts to graze your lips. You finally manage to break free from his hold and hand him the coffee when he changes the subject out of nowhere. âAre you free today?â He takes the cup in his hands.Â
You avert your eyes to his. Your tiny smile shifts into an amused grin in a millisecond. The reaction leaves you before you can control it. Words follow an unpleasant snort. âOh câmon! Itâs not like I have anything to do anyway.â Only when itâs all out and Jiminâs smile drops that you realize the mistake.Â
Fucking hell! Whatâs wrong with you?
You didnât mean to sound harsh. Didnât mean to sound bitter. Thatâs exactly what has happened, though. Jiminâs entire expression turns dull. His adorable smile is nowhere to be found and replaced with a wince.Â
âLil Iââ He starts, only to be cut off when you grab his face between your palms at light speed.Â
âThatâs not what I meant.â You blurt. You know how this looks. Itâs as if youâve blamed him. For the lack of purpose of your life. Itâs not his fault. Itâs no oneâs fault. Especially not his. To be honest, youâve been having mixed emotions regarding the newest changes of your life. You no longer have a purpose to wake up each morning. Some days youâre happy to be woken up into a peaceful day where youâre allowed to indulge in whatever the fuck you want. On other days, however, you feel empty. A bitter feeling about the things youâve lost. Itâs hard not to miss it when you see Jungkook worrying his ass over the finals. When he fights with J over stupid group projects. It reminds you that youâre no longer a part of it.Â
Then there will come the uncertainty of the future. You may have claimed that youâd be starting your life anew but the way you could do it is not something you know. You have no idea how youâd be able to start your degree again when you have no academic background. Not even your primary education. The same goes for a job as well. You have no qualifications. The work at Kimâs? You donât see it as a real job. You started working there as a help and Namjoonâs parents have been kind enough to pay you something for your time and effort. Youâre not officially hired there. Even if you are, thatâs not what you wanted to do with your life.Â
Maybe, youâre allowed to feel bitter about it. Still, itâs not fair to blame that on the man in front of you. He did nothing wrong. You want to slap yourself.Â
Jimin slightly leans into your touch. Hurt still etched on his face. âYou can work in the company, Lil.â He mumbles.
âI know.â You rub his cheek with your thumb. âBut I wasted two years of my life studying Design, Jimin. Being your assistant or Hoseokâs assistant isnât what I wanted to do.âÂ
âThen I can hire you for the marketing team. You can do what you learned.â Jimin removes one of your hands from his face. Interlaces your fingers together.
âYou know how much people are gonna hate me, if you do that. Besides, it feels wrong. I need to do it myself.â You gaze at his eyes. Oh you would bite your own tongue if you could. Why would you have to hurt him? You squeeze his hands. âI didnât mean it like that, baby. Iâm fine, really. Iâll find a way and Iâll come to you when I need help.â A beat passes and then he returns your squeeze.
âCanât wait.â Whispers. You nod. A small smile follows that. After a second, Jimin accepts your words. Similar kind of smile adorning his lips.Â
âSo,â You turn around and pick up your cup of coffee again. âWhy did you ask?â You raise a teasing brow. Gasp. âDonât tell me you just wanted to know. Look whoâs obsessed with who now?â You muse, reminding of a time where he claimed you were obsessed with him. All those months ago. On a bright day where you accidentally ended up on Namiseom Island.Â
Jimin rolls his eyes. A tiny scoff. âTrust me, I have a business to run.âÂ
This time you gasp even harder. How dare he? You pout causing him to kiss it away. âWell⌠I asked because I wanted you to be free today.â Then he answers your question.Â
âWhy?âÂ
âSo I can take you out.â Jimin mumbles the words against your lips. You suck them in with a short breath.Â
Take you out!
You draw back away from his face. Just to get a proper look. Jimin gapes at you. And if you donât know better, youâd say he looks nervous. That warmth in your chest spreads through your entire body. Making your limbs feel numb. Making your head light. Making your knees buckle. In a very pleasant way.Â
Is he asking you on a date? Like that? Why does he look flustered? Nervous? As if youâre not pregnant with his child.
He looks exactly like he did when he asked you to move in with him. Oh, how adorable?
âTake me out?â You, in the end, mumble back. Jimin nods. Like a kid who is confirming, he indeed wants to go to the park. âBut youâve already taken me out many times.â That he has. âWhatâs special? Why are you asking it⌠like this?âÂ
âI havenât taken you out on a date, though, have I?â He answers your question with another. You just stare at him. âI want to take you on a real date. I want you to get dressed, worry about your outfit, and I want to take you out like normal people do. Not to keep you in my car or in a hotel room. I want to take you out to places youâve never been before. I want to have a nice meal in the best restaurant, without having to worry about someone seeing us, Spring Roll.â Â
Oh you would melt down into a little puddle if it was possible. He needs to stop being so sweet. Maybe, thatâs the reason why youâre craving sweet things. Because the father of the baby is a sugar cane. You gulp harshly, not knowing what to say. Jimin looks at you expectantly.Â
âSoâŚwhat do you say? Will you let me take you out on a date?â Asks when you say nothing. Now, you sure do understand why he decided to formally ask it as if someone would for their first date. Because it is your first date and he wants to do it right. But for the life of you, you would never understand the reason why heâs nervous. Does he often forget that youâre bearing his child? God he gives you toothache at this rate. With that faint blush and pout.Â
You shrug after a moment. âWellâŚsince youâre asking so nicelyââÂ
âOh, câmonâŚâ Jimin whines loudly, even stomping his feet. You snort.Â
âYes!â You crack through your laugh. It gets his tantrum to stop. âIâll be happy to go on a date with you, Park.âÂ
He does a little fist pump, causing you to howl in laughter. How dramatic? He joins you. Itâs only after you two manage to catch your breathing that he asks again. âSo? What do you say about four in the evening? I have some work to get done in the morning and Iâll pick you up?âÂ
Oh, thatâs certainly too early for dinner and too late for lunch. You donât question him, though. Are certain heâs got something in his mind. âWhat should I wear?â So, you ask instead. He wanted you to worry about your outfits, after all.Â
Jimin purses his lips, eyes squinting. âNothing fancy. Just something pretty.â Decides.Â
âThatâs not helping at all!â You exclaim. Jimin doesnât give a fuck. Instead of taking your very valid questions to consideration he starts to finally prepare those pancakes.Â
And no amount of budging him or kisses or offers to suck him off gets you the answer to what he has in mind.
Guess, youâd have to have your own back this evening.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
You smooth out your dress for the hundredth time as you peer into the full length mirror. Jimin said nothing fancy but pretty. You donât know what the fuck that means. So you decided upon a dress. Long sleeve and with ruffles. Hem just reaching your mid thighs. Youâd pair it with knee high boots. Autumn is just about to start but today is particularly a cold day. You guess youâd be fine.Â
You drag your fingers through your hair one last time. Check your lipstick for one last time. You look fine. You think you look fine. Do you look pretty, though? With a heavy sigh you turn around.
âDo you think this would be fine? Should I change it to something fancier?âÂ
At your voice, Jungkook averts his gaze away from the laptop. Heâs bundled in the bed. Comforter bunched up around his waist. Is resting his back on a thousand pillows. Yet it seems the position heâs in is painful. Heâd definitely get back pain. Thereâs a deep scowl adorning his face. Apparently, he has to get this essay done by tonight.Â
This is exactly something thatâd make you miss your life. You used to worry over deadlines that way as well.
You push past the bitter thought as Jungkookâs scowl disappears when he rakes his eyes over your figure. You think you saw a glint in his eyes before it gets dull. Itâs there and gone within a flash.Â
âNo, you look fine.â He smiles fondly. To you though it seems a bit sad. Then heâs paying his attention back to the laptop screen.
There you go again, making stupid mistakes for a second time of the day. Why would you have to ask him that? No. Why would you have to get ready in here in the first place? You didnât think heâd be hurt?
What a stupid bitch you are?
God dammit you need to talk to him. You need to give him closure and ask him to move on. Why are you so selfish? You turn around, squeezing your eyes shut as the regret washes over you. Just as your eyes meet your own reflection again, you hear the huge sigh he lets out. Before you can take another look at him, he scrambles out of bed like a flash. So you meet him just standing in front of you when you finally turn around.Â
âIâm sorry,â He mumbles, causing your brows to knit in confusion. What is he being sorry for? Before you can ask he answers your non asked question. âYou look gorgeous, baby. I just hate essays so I wasnât paying attention.âÂ
Oh! He thinks your change of mood is due to his lack of enthusiasm towards your outfit. You blink at his face. Heart sinking. Fuck! Fuck him for always trying to make it up for you. But you donât know how to correct him. Should you tell him? Tell him that you know. And have this conversation now? No. No matter how you start this talk, it would end both of you being hurt. Today is not the day. You only have twenty something minutes until Jimin will meet you outside. This is your first official date and you want to enjoy it. Every minute of it. You wonât be able to do it if the last thing you see before leaving the house would be Jungkook in pain. Maybe, after this date? Yes. Youâd definitely do it tonight.Â
You clear your throat. âYou think so?â You ask, briefly glancing at your outfit once again. Jungkook doesnât answer you right away. He narrows his eyes on you. Sucks in a breath through his teeth. Contemplating.Â
âLetâs see.â Mutters before cupping your face with both of his hands. Squeezes your cheeks. You instantly set into motion as you slap his hands away. Or try to do so. You just did your makeup and heâs ruining it. Your slaps, however, lands on his wrists like a gentle touch of a feather. He doesnât budge at all.Â
âYah!â You scream.
Instead of letting go, Jungkook grins from ear to ear. His toothy grin. Nose scrunched up. âYah! Let me take a look.â He yells back. Peer at your face closely. Then nod in determination. âI can see youâre fucking beautiful.â Then shakes his head very dramatically. âCanât believe how that idiot pulled you. The world is not fair!â Sighs.Â
You roll your eyes to the back of your head. Finally managing to break free of his hold, purely because he decides to let go, you turn back around to face the mirror. Just in time to witness his grin fall. It slips away, filling his eyes with a familiar kind of pain. Longing. And he remembers his mistake even before you can truly acknowledge it. When your eyes meet him through the mirror, he has his expression fixed. That smile back on his face. But thereâs no glint in his eyes. Only the longing. A kind of longing that makes your inside hollow.Â
You canât confront him. Not now.Â
Play it cool!Â
âWhat?â So you ask the only question you can. He shrugs.Â
âYou really look pretty.â His eyes momentarily drop to your stomach. âWear a scarf though, itâs fucking cold out today.âÂ
Itâs a physical battle inside you not to fall into a fit of cry.Â
How? Why? How can someone be so gentle and loving when all they earn in return is pain?Â
You bite the inside of your cheeks as you nod, proceeding to pick up your bag from the table. You do your best not to look at him again. If you do, youâd surely cry. Can't afford to cry today. You take a few steps forward. Almost leave the room without a second glance. But of course, Jungkook has other plans.Â
âWear a scarf, Noona. Itâs really cold, trust me.âÂ
You stop dead in your tracks. Painful jabs piercing right through your heart. You take a second, then even before you can process it, you turn around. Storm toward the unsuspecting man still standing in the middle of the room. Throw your arms around his waist before you smush your face in his chest. He makes a little sound in surprise.Â
âThank you, Kookie.â You say into his chest. Jungkook wraps his arms around your figure as well. A soft chuckle leaves him first.
âOkayâŚ? For what?â Questions.Â
âI donât knowâŚfor everything I guess.â You squeeze him. Withdraw. Force yourself to smile. You canât cry.Â
Donât cry, donât cry, donât cry.
âDonât talk like youâre going to disappear or something.â Jungkook shows his displeasure. âIf youâre thankful, buy me dinner tonight.â Adds on a second thought.
âWith pleasure.â You grin. Finally, ready to leave. For real this time. Youâll have that talk tonight. Youâre determined to do it no matter what.Â
For now, that hug should be enough.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
You get out of the car slowly, taking in the surroundings. Jimin closes the car door once youâre fully out. You have no idea where you are right now. Only that youâre in a less crowded, quiet street, completely lined up with little boutiques. And of course cafes. And bookstores. All looking as if theyâre from a different dimension. Worn off brick walls and narrow front windows.Â
How did he even find this place?
During your twenty minutes or so ride, Jimin hasnât said a lot about the place youâre visiting. All he had said was that youâre going out just for a coffee. Well, you find it to be perfect. Especially if the cafe is going to be a part of this street. Heâs chosen well. And something inside you tells you that choosing a coffee date has something to do with your sudden desire for sweets.Â
Heâs gonna let you eat sweets until you get diabetes, isnât he? Of course, he will. You turn your head to look at the man whoâs standing so close to you. Doing just the same as you. Taking the view in.Â
âBeautiful, isnât it?â He asks. Probably sensing your eyes on him.Â
âThe street or you?â You answer him with another question, suddenly shuddering as a cold gust of wind blows past you. Jungkook was so right to wrap a scarf around your neck. Jimin chuckles softly, turning toward you to adjust the said scarf better around you.Â
âOh, I know you find me beautiful.â A cheeky grin treats you. You gasp.
âWho lied to you?âÂ
âI can recall you calling even my dick beautiful.âÂ
You scrunch up your face. Look around you to make sure that nobody overheard his words. âI lied.âÂ
âDid you? Or do you want me to show you now, so youâll change your mind?âÂ
âJeesus, Park. Stop being a freak.â You screech, proceeding to walk away from him. âThis is beautiful, though.â Yet add anyway. He deserves to feel good. The best. He mumbles something about how heâs the best eye in the world as he catches up to you. Takes your hand in his. Interlaces your fingers. And guides you through the quiet street, passing cozy cafes and flower boutiques. Passing entire different worlds inside the faintly glowed shops until he stops in front of one. Same brick walls. Aged and worn. Narrow glass windows. Tiny pots of lavenders sit prettily on the window sills. A dark wooden door. Top of that door is the name sign.Â
Ink and cup.Â
You tilt your head up to take a good look at that name. Interesting. You guess you already have an idea about where this is going. Before you can question your suspicions, Jimin pushes open the door. The sweet aroma of coffee fills your nostrils immediately, followed by the scent of freshly baked goods. Following Jiminâs lead, you step inside the cafe, sighing pleasantly when youâre engulfed in a pleasant warmth.Â
The place is filled with wooden tables. Brown. And beige chairs. Your eyes go wide as you spot the fireplace in a corner, actually lit up. And proving your suspicions right your eyes land on the shelves full of art supplies. Pencils, pens, brushes, and every other thing. This is an art cafe. You wonder what made Jimin choses this place. You turn your head to look at him, to find him already gaping at you. His eyes are glinting. Not that familiar glint of amusement but a glint of warmth. Is looking at you like youâre the sole reason heâs breathing.Â
âDo you like it?â He asks once he catches your eyes.Â
You nod. âAre we gonna paint?âÂ
âIf you want to, then yes.âÂ
You take your time in that. As a child and teenager, you used to paint like your life depended on it. Then it escalated into not just painting but creating. Building something creative out of your skills. Thatâs how you ended up pursuing a designing degree. During your college, you stopped painting like you did before. Maybe the time pressure and stress had made you like your passion a little less. Yet you found time to indulge in it sometimes. After you stopped shifting the worlds, however, you never even held a paint brush in your hand. Painting, just like your education has grown into a distant memory, even though it hasnât been that long since you started living in this world. Permanently. Now, the idea of doing it again, suddenly excites you so damn much.Â
âHell, yes. I love painting.â You answer in the end, watching Jiminâs face break into a satisfied grin. Youâre not sure whether youâve told him about your hobbies or your skills. Maybe you did. Youâve said so many things to him. Maybe he just assumed you could draw based on your degree. Whatever the reason might be, he looks so damn cocky. Probably because he did well in choosing the place. Not just the beauty and sweets but also the arts. Park Jimin truly is one of a kind.Â
âThen we paint until they run out of the supplies.â He walks over to the glass display case full of every type of mouth watering bakery goods. You happily follow him.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
Scratch the coffee. Youâve decided upon hot chocolate while you were mulling over at least twenty options they put before you on the menu. You wanted something sweet. The pancakes Jimin made this morning weren't enough. Besides, despite the fact that it isnât winter yet, the cold weather today was calling for a hot chocolate. The piece of strawberry cream cake that is sitting next to your hot chocolate now is something you had to get just because it looked good. So it tastes good as well.Â
You moan around a mouthful of cake. âGod, this is heaven.âÂ
âNever thought Iâd be jealous of cake.â Jimin exclaims, sipping from his own coffee. You give him a look, reaching for your hot chocolate. The cafe staff had already provided you with the supplies to paint. White canvas, pens, pencils, every type of paint you could imagine, easels, and every other thing you wouldâve sold your kidneys to have in your home. They have everything. This place isnât simply made for customers to enjoy coffee and doodle on papers. Itâs specifically designed for artists. Youâre certain this place is for artists. The best of them. To you it feels like a dream. The fireplace, the sweet drink and all the possibilities you could create on this blank canvas with whatever you want. Only that neither of you have started painting it yet.Â
âStop saying cheeky thingsâŚâ You whine. Then point at the art supplies. âYou gonna draw with me?âÂ
Jimin throws an offended look at your way. âCourse I am. What? Youâre saying I canât?âÂ
Now, you know Park Jimin is good at many things. From operating a damn business to singing like a nightingale. But his abilities in painting or drawing are yet to be discovered. You, on the other hand, are successfully bad at everything heâs good at. Except for this. You know you can paint. Itâs been engraved to your bones. Hence, your raised brow and cocky look. When you have the chance to brag youâll most definitely do so.Â
âOf course not, Park. I just asked. But,â You lean forward on your chair. âI want you to know Iâm really, really good at this.âÂ
âWanna bet?â Heâs raising a brow too. In challenge.Â
You take a second. Maybe, you shouldnât test Park Jimin. He could be the modern Michelangelo in this world and you might be asking to be embarrassed. Itâs too late to take that back, however. So you shrug. Making sure you still look all smug and confident. âWhy not? Fuck yes.âÂ
âOkay,â Jimin puts down his coffee. Suddenly all serious. Youâve seen that same look when heâs talking business. âThis is a competition then. If you win you get to ask me anything you want. If I winâŚâ His eyes sparkle. This time that familiar glint of amusement. âI get to take you on another date.âÂ
For fucksâs sake!Â
You really wish you could roll your eyes as hard as you want right now. Why would he think youâd say no. Ever. âThatâs a stupid bet but yes, whatever you want, Park.â You agree right away. Glint in his eyes only turns brighter at your words, however.Â
âIs it?â He leans forward on the table as well. Eyes turning brighter and brighter that youâre worried heâd burn you down. You narrow your eyes. Suspicious. Before you can comment on it and rearrange your bet, Jimin goes back to his serious self. Braces his palms on the wooden table top. âOkay. We have a deal then?â Raises a brow. You nod slowly. Not sure about this after all. He takes your very unsure nod as a straight yes. Proceeds. âButâŚwe both know youâre better at this than I am. So, we need a fair judge to decide whoâs the winner.âÂ
Good point. See, heâs a businessman. The thought didnât even cross your mind. âAgreed!â You nod very surely this time. âWho do you suggest?â You fall back into thinking. âJungkook?â Ask. Jiminâs smile drops instantly.Â
âNo fucking way!â He looks at you as if you just suggest he take a barefoot trip to the Atlantic. âIdiot is so biased in you and he hates my ass. Heâs gonna choose you anyway.âÂ
âThen who?â You pout in annoyance. Heâs making sense again, though.Â
âTaehyung?â Jimin suggests slowly. Dragging the syllables. Itâs your time to gape at him as if he challenged you to land on the sun.Â
âAre you kidding me?â You huff. âHeâs your best friend.â
âAnd youâre a woman. What made you think heâd choose me over a pretty woman?â He points out. True. Kind of. Still you would rather not test it. Hence the firm shake of your head.Â
âHow about Seokjin?â You suggest. A silence falls as you stare at each other. Thereâs no reason for any questions. If thereâs anyone whoâs going to do it fair enough that you could hand over the world's safety to them, that would be Seokjin. Jimin says or asks nothing more. Without further hassle you both agree to make Jin your honorable judge board.Â
âSo, how do we do it? Just draw whatever we want and hope for the best?â Jimin voices out. You shake your head again. If this is a competition, then it should be hard. There needs to be rules. At least a prompt. You donât know why youâre so worked up about this anyway. Maybe youâre just enjoying this. Enjoying so damn much. Itâs more fun when you make it harder anyway.Â
You fish out for your phone without answering him. There was this thing you used to do when you painted back in the days. To train your skills and your brain. You search for a random prompts generator for drawing hurriedly. Now you know you wonât find the exact same thing you used to use. But youâre certain someone has come up with the same idea in this world as well. Proving you right, your search finds you hundred different websites that are created for the same purpose. With a victorious little noise, you click on the first link and place the phone on the table between you two.Â
âWeâll use two different random prompts. Since we need this to be very fair, Jin will decide who did the most justice to their prompt.â You explain, making Jimin go smug again.Â
âFuck yes!â He pulls your phone towards him. âI may not be good at painting like you but I design games, baby. Good luck!âÂ
You pretend that it doesnât threaten you a little bit. That it causes you to second guess your own idea. Instead you point out how technically heâs not the one whoâs designing them and force him to touch the generate button. So he does. You both peer at the screen. Looking at the way a black splash of letters stumble on the white background until it stops on one.Â
âA place that exists between night and day.â
Jiminâs smug smile drops. Instantly. As if someone has slapped it away. His brows merge together. âWhatâs that supposed to mean?â Questions.Â
You blink at the prompt. âNo idea but, itâs interesting.â You take a screenshot of it and send it to him right away. A smug smile on your lips.Â
âThis is not fair.â Jimin continues to complain as you click on the re-generate button. The same process happens and then a new prompt appears.Â
âWalls that know your name.âÂ
Itâs funny how fast you join Jimin with his expression. Staring at the prompt dumbly. Maybe, you should change it. Because this isnât making any sense at all. But whereâs the fun in making it easy? So, you shrug. Make up your mind. Take another screen shot.Â
âGuess weâre playing mind games, Park.â Mumble.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
 Okay, you admit youâre stupid. During the almost three years of your life at the university, they really did teach you how important it is to understand your weaknesses. You didnât really give a shit about it before. Now, as you stare at the blank canvas you definitely understand why you should take this seriously. If youâve taken it seriously, you wouldnât have ended up in a situation like this.Â
You groan inwardly, taking the last sip of yourânow coldâhot chocolate. Itâs been half an hour already but your paint brush hasn't even touched the canvas once. You have no single damn idea about what the prompt means and what you should draw. Youâre thinking too much. You know you are. Youâve always struggled to get things done when you have a time limit. See, a weakness. Then you had to bring this upon yourself. Only to sit on a comfy chair stupidly while Jiminâs hand does skilful strokes on his canvas. Fuck! You donât know what heâs drawing. Or how he managed to decode that stupid prompt. It doesnât matter anyway. He is already working on it. Good or bad, he has something.Â
You gape at him. The way heâs furrowing slightly. Eyes fixed on the movements of his hand. Heâs gone with a pencil. What is he doing? Sketching? Youâve decided to keep each otherâs canvases hidden from each otherâs views to keep it intriguing. Oh, how intriguing it is? Youâre dying to know what heâs doing. Just a peek would be enough. As if hearing your thoughts, Jimin trails his eyes away from the canvas and to you. Raises a brow in question.Â
âIâm thinking.â You grumble. Trying your best to hide the note of annoyance in your voice. He hears it anyway. That amused grin is proof of it.Â
âThatâs fine. Think hard, Spring Roll. Weâve got time. They wonât be closing this place until at least eight.â Gives you a wink before focusing back on his work. That grin remains.Â
Asshole!
God, why would you do this to yourself? Why are you so serious about it anyway? Dammit, you want to scream. You pay your attention back to your prompt.Â
Walls that know your nameâŚ. Walls that know your name⌠Walls that know your nameâŚ.
Youâve been rereading it in your mind for millions of times now. What does that mean?
Walls that know your name⌠Walls thatâ
Wait! You straighten up like a bow string. A light bulb lightening up inside your brain. Does that mean home? Because it says walls that know your name. If thereâs a place where even walls know your name, that should be a very familiar one. And a home  is familiar.Â
Yes! Thatâs it. If you werenât in a damn restaurant, you couldâve yelped in happiness and done a little dance. Since itâs not an option, you settle with a wide grin. There you have your prompt. A simple one. Now you only have to figure out what you are going to draw. And just like that, your grin disappears. Into thin air. You, yourself claimed that the winner would be the one who does the justice to the prompt. How are you ever going to bring the concept of home into a piece of canvas?
This time you groan loudly. Several heads turn in your direction. Including Jiminâs. And he gapes at you like he saw you for the first time. So you flip him off.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
Another fifteen minutes are wasted. Youâre really bad at this arenât you? You canât believe you used to study four subject loads in one semester and get every assignment done in time. Almost all of them were creative projects. How did you do that when youâre so bad at coming up with ideas?Â
This whole thing is a stupid, bad idea. You shouldâve known better. Itâs Park Jimin. Why did you ever want to compete with him? Besides, it's not that you really want to win anyway. If it means making Jimin happy, youâd gladly accept defeat without a word. Fuck, why did you do this to yourself then? Well, guess all you wanted was to impress. As stupid as it sounds, maybe you wanted to show Jimin youâre good at something. Like a little girl who wants to impress her parents.Â
You tilt your head up to look at the man in front of you. Working intently. Concentrating hard. So hard that his brows are knotted and lips are pouted so hard that it reminds you of a beak. Goddamnit. How can a man be so adorable? Fuck, you wish you could just reach over and kiss that pout away like youâve gone mad. Well, you can do that now, canât you? Whatâs stopping you now? He is your boyfriend. Not a secret lover that would cause so much problems if you are to be simply seen with him. No. Heâs yours. Isnât that amazing? It is. That familiar warmth blooms across your body, starting from your heart. Goddammit, how fucking in love you are with him? Sometimes you wonder how you are able to love someone that hard. Yet here you are. Sitting in a cafe, watching him paint. Like a love sick puppy. Fuck! Paint. You should be painting too. You dart your gaze immediately to your empty canvas. Only then realizing that youâve been grinning like a creep too.Â
Jimin couldâve made fun of you, if he had caught you grinning at him that way. God, the way you canât control it. Everything would simply disappear. Any problem. Any worries. All that would be left in your head is Park Jimin. Itâs ridiculously amazing how at ease you feel when youâre with him. Youâve genuinely been stressing over a painting a mere second ago and it was all gone. Just by looking at him. That person over there has become your comfort. Like your home.Â
Wait! Home?Â
This time you snap your head up to look at him with a new found urgency. Eyes wide and probably glinting as if you just resolved the Zodiac Killer. Jimin looks back at you. Questioning with his eyes. Questioning your sanity.Â
âWhat?â He voices his concerns as you keep gaping at him. Corners of your mouth curling upward. There you have an idea. All you have to do is create something that would do justice to the prompt. Youâre certain your prompt is home. Park Jimin is your home.Â
âNothing.â You shrug. âYouâre beautiful, Park Jimin.â You allow yourself to smile fondly, ignoring the way Jiminâs face turns into a soft pink.Â
Fuck, he is adorable!
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
Live portrait never has been one of your strengths. Youâve painted a few but have never been satisfied with them. Doing it now while carrying the dead weight of being a disappointment in Jiminâs eyes has made you stressed enough that you almost started chewing on your thumb. You had two options. First was to take Jimin as your live modelâ though he doesnât know that, and paint him as the way heâs right now. Or to use a photo. You decided to go with the first option. Just a rough painting of Park Jimin with his frown and adorable pout. You had cropped the scene in front of you only to his face, a part of his hand and the canvas before him. But then you wanted to paint him the way you see him. Youâve always found him to be breathtaking. Mesmerasing. Beautiful in a humanly impossible way. Hence the colorful background which is your attempt at creating a universe. Because thatâs where you found him. In Another Universe.Â
You sigh heavily, finally straightening up after adding a little white dot inside the painted Jiminâs irises for realistic purposes. Resting back on your chair you sweep your eyes over the whole piece. Itâs⌠good. Not bad at all. Yet maybe itâs not the best after all. It needs time. To perfectionate a realistic art would take hours. Even days. Or maybe weeks. Almost three hours are certainly not enough. You did what you could with the time. Still now as you finally set the brush down, you realize that the whole cafe is emptied save for you two and one staff member whoâs wiping down the counter with a frown in her face. Jesus you must be such a headache to the poor woman. You always hated the customers who didn't understand the meaning of closing time. Now look at you.Â
âDone?â Jimin grabs your attention from across the table. Heâs been finished for almost an hour now. Has been polite enough to sit back and let you get your work done in peace.Â
âYes.â You nod, rolling your shoulders to ease the pain. Jimin frowns.Â
âThis was supposed to be fun, lady. I didnât expect you to take it this seriously.â He shakes his head dramatically.Â
âSays the one who almost wanted to kill me for suggesting Jungkook as the judge.â You counter.
âI wanted to be fair, thatâs it.â Jimin says while getting to his feet. And the smart answer that comes to the tip of your tongue instantly dies away. Your stomach tangles into a tight knot. You suck in a short breath and hold it as your body grows tense. Ridiculous. But all you can feel is the nervousness inside you grows with every step Jimin takes your way. Suddenly, you donât want to do this. Damn winning the competition. Itâs stupid anyway. You donât want to be seen as amazing in his eyes either. Because thereâs a possibility that it might happen the other way. You almost shoot into your feet and cover up the canvas but Jimin makes it behind you even before the thought fully passes your mind. So you stay glued to your chair. Even a thin layer of cold sweat starts to cover your skin as you keep your breath trapped in your lungs. Until you hear a soft, shaky breath. Unable to take it anymore you whip your head back, eyes darting over the man whoâs standing behind you now. His eyes fixed on the canvas.Â
âFuck, LilâŚâ Jimin exhales again after a second. Then his eyes land on you. âYouâIââ He gulps. Seemingly struggling with words. âWhy me?â Then at last he questions. You peer at his eyes as you shrug.Â
âThe prompt was to draw home.â Explains simply. âI mean I decided that it means home andââ Jimin doesnât let you finish. Your words get cut off when you feel his lips on your forehead. All the tension you felt a moment ago, the nervous knot in your tummy disappears without a trace. Just like that. Your shoulders relax instantly. Hell, even a sigh escapes you. Still, you expect Jimin to tease you a bit about the fact that you admitted that heâs your home. He doesnât. Instead he shakes his head. Eyes back on the portrait of himself.Â
âI feel dumb now.â He mumbles more to himself. âI knew you must be good at it but this? Damn Lil, you drew this while in a stupid art cafe? Iâm serious, come work for me.â Looks at you with raised brows. You click your tongue, trying your best to act nonchalant. As if your insides are not churning violently. In a pleasant way. As if your heart isnât swelling inside your ribcage that youâre in great danger of it exploding. Fuck, heâs affecting you more than you like. You hope youâre doing a great job at hiding your over joyness as you finally get to your feet as well.Â
âCâmon, itâs not even that good.â You wave a hand in his direction despite the manic grin adorning your face. Jiminâs eyes crinkle. Oh, youâre definitely not doing a great job at hiding how happy you are. Jimin knows. And maybe you donât care that he knows. Biting on your lower lip to contain your grin you walk around the table. Compared to you, Jimin stays fairly calm. Itâs like he never expected to be considered good at this anyway. He simply follows you, standing behind you yet again while you finally drop your gaze to his work.Â
Well, damn! Did he just say he feels dumb? For what?
Your eyes turn into saucers as you sweep them across the piece of art in front of you. Itâs not the best. Yes. You sure did the better job. Yes. But youâve been doing it almost your whole life. You have the practice in addition to the skills. He probably doesnât. Yet he has done such a great job that youâre sure he will become a great artist if he ever decides to give up on R.U.N.Â
âWow!â You whisper. âYouâve been misleading me this whole time.âÂ
âI wasnât. I did tell you Iâm not that bad. But câmon⌠compared to thatââ Jimin points a finger toward your piece. âThis is an elementary standard.âÂ
âBullshit!â You snap, bending down to take a closer look. Heâs definitely done a good job. Good enough you know whatâs on the canvas. A street of some kind. A line of storefronts flanking a tall building. You narrow your eyes having no idea what this means. Then your eyes stop next to the first store next to the tall building. A cafe. The name sign Haru written on the top. He hasnât bothered to draw a plate. Your eyes sweep over that once. And you freeze.Â
During your timeâwhich is not that long, youâve shared many details about your world. Maybe youâve shared everything. Maybe not everything. Maybe not enough at all. But, you might have rambled how you always liked the coffee Chan made and how it was far away from your place. Then about how you didnât even have a broken coffee machine in your place so you spent 5000 won everyday on the shitty cafe next to your old apartment building. The shitty cafe named Haru. You snap your head toward him. Eyes wide. Eyebrows raised. Jimin only smiles at you. Barely. A very nervous smile that makes you look back at the painting. Up until this moment, a single thing about this art didnât make any sense to you. Just a painting of a bunch of storefronts. Now as you have spotted that very name it suddenly makes sense.Â
Itâs your apartment. Or at least how Jimin imagined it through your words. Not accurate at all. If heâs to ever ask you to do the changes that needed, youâll have to change everything. Not that you ever will do it though. No. You wonât change a thing. You suck in a shaky breath, feeling your throat tightening up. It might not be the most accurate or the most perfect but the sole fact that heâs done it is enough to make your eyes well up.Â
âYour prompt was to paint a place that exists between night and day or something, wasnât it?â You ask without taking your eyes away from the art piece. Jimin only hums in answer. âSo, hâhow is thatââÂ
âThat should be a dream, right?â Jimin interrupts your question. âOr I donât know⌠a place that really doesn't exist for me? A place Iâve never been to but I often think about?â Explains.Â
âYou often think about my place?âÂ
âNot just your place, but your world. It wouldâve been hella hard to draw an entire world though. So, I drew a piece of it. I know itâs notââÂ
âFucking hell, Park!â You turn around in a blink. Donât let him time to process before you hide your face in his chest.Â
âAccuraâteâŚâ Jimin stumbles on his words. âHolyâLilââ Then gives up. âOkay.â Accepts whatever youâre doing and curls his arms around your figure. You hear him chuckle softly before he raises questions about your well being. âYou good, love?â You nod into his chest, demanding yourself not to cry in your head.Â
âYouâumâŚwhy would you think about my world?â You answer his question with another one. You lift your head enough to peek at his face.Â
âIs that even a question? I think about it because itâs yours. I mean, isnât it unfair how Iâll never get to visit your place? How Iâll never get to meet your parents? How Iâll never get to see or know anything that made you, you?â He slowly pushes you away from his embrace. Just so he can look at you properly. God, you feel like your eyes are burning. You donât know why thatâs making you so emotional. Is that because all his words are true and itâs kind of sad? Is it because youâre touched by his idea to make your world his dream? Or is it simply because he just tore open an old wound? About a world which youâre trying to forget.Â
True, you said youâre completely fine with your new life. But are you? Do you miss it? Maybe. Oh you definitely do. Burn in your eyes turns worse as the realization dawns on you. Yet before a word could escape your lips, Jimin wraps his arms back around you.Â
âI love you, baby. I love you so damn much.â Mumbles. You instantly relax on his hold. Stinging of your eyes soothing immediately at his words.Â
âI love you more.â So does the tightness in your throat eases that you manage to answer him. âMaybe, if I ever get another chance at a wish, Iâll wish for you to come to my world.â You smile to yourself.Â
âIâll be the happiest to go with you.âÂ
Your smile stretches into a grin.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
You dumbly stare at the spectacle that hangs low in Jinâs nose. Heâs sitting on Jungkookâs couch. A small notebook in his left hand and a pen in his right. He is wearing a frown like it's permanent jewellery on his face. The two paintings that gave you and Jimin a headache while bringing in with you, now sit pretty across from Jin. Resting against the opposite wall from him. J stands beside Jinâmaybe theyâre back to being the lovey dovey couple they are. Maybe not. Maybe sheâs completely being nosy. When you asked Jin to choose a winner for your petty competition with Jimin, you never expected it to be this serious.Â
âOh my god! Seok Jin. Thatâs fucking enough! Choose one!â You exclaim after waiting in silence for more than ten minutes. Which is too long.Â
âShhâŚâ Jimin shushes you, cutting a glare your way. âDonât distract him.â Adds making you gasp in offense.Â
âReally?â You raise a brow, eyes curiously wandering over to the notebook. What is he writing on there anyway? Jimin very seriously tells you that it is real while Jungkook softly whines from your other side.Â
âThis is so not fair, you know? You lied to me.â Jungkook sighs so heavily that it sounds like he just deflated.Â
âWhat? When did I ever lie to you?â This whole situation is getting more and more ridiculous.Â
âYou never told me you could draw like this.â Jungkook argues, still gaping at your art. Heâs been that way ever since you brought it inside.Â
âYou never asked.â You point out.Â
âYou have to draw me too.â He ignores your valid point and goes back to whining like a kicked puppy. Jimin nearly butts in saying that you would never draw Jungkook but Jinâs voice cut him off before he could fully finish his reasoning.Â
âQuiet! All of you! Youâre interfering with the judging outcome.â He says with a straight face that you come really close to laughing before realizing that heâs very serious.Â
âYes! And this is such a disrespect to the honorable judge board.â J agrees from behind Jin.Â
âOh, for fuckâs sakeââ You start again when Jin raises a hand demanding you shut up.
âKeep interfering and youâre losing marks.â He shows you his stupid notebook.Â
âWhâwhat? You canât do that.â Your mouth turns into a little circle.Â
âYes, he can.â J answers on Jinâs behalf. So, you shut your mouth. And keep it shut for another five minutes watching two Jâs mumble to each other like they're discussing the security of the country. Itâs only after they have their own fun of being a judge board to their friendsâ stupid art competition that they finally announce that theyâve decided upon the winner. Despite your earlier irritation you finally perk up that. Even Jungkook quits his whining and pays attention. Jin ordersâas he believes requestsâyou sit next to Jimin. Like youâre waiting for the death sentence. Then he clears his throat.Â
âOkay, after very careful and thorough consideration, the honorable judge board has come to a decision." He starts making you groan in your mind. J nods like crazy from where sheâs still standing behind Jin. âThis has not been easy andââÂ
âCâmon!â At that you break.Â
âOkay, thatâs a lost mark.â Jin bellows going back to his notebook and scratching something down. You leap forward, ready to snatch that book away and hit him with it. Jimin prevents you from the pleasure by shoving a hand around your waist, already giggling and laughing. Jungkook is grinning as well. Not you, though. Not you. You screech demanding that itâs not fair and struggling against Jiminâs hold when Seok Jin threatens you again.Â
âIâll take another mark down, woman. Shut up!â He stands up. Looks at you with narrow eyes. You mirror him. Who said having Jin as a judge would be a good idea.Â
âItâs okayâŚâ Jimin mumbles in your ear, his voice laced with amusement as you keep glaring at Jin. After a second Jin goes back to his character.Â
âAllright, after very,â He throws a warning glance toward you. âVery fair andâŚâ And starts reciting a speech until your eyes start to well up and legs give up. Then at last with a deep breath he announces the marks. âNow, we decided on marking you out of twenty, just because we wanted to,â Says though no one asks. âSo, considering every aspect, Jimin, my dear friend and my bossââÂ
âIâm not your boss, Hyung. Weâre co-owners.â Jimin says, his arms still wrapped around your middle. Jin grins.Â
âOkay, my dear friend here scored seventeen out of twenty.âÂ
J immediately starts clapping and cheering. Even howls. Jungkook, though, lets out a strangled noise before starting protesting.Â
âSeventeen? Fucking, seventeen? For that?â He questions in pure disbelief. Jimin finally lets go of you.Â
âWhat the fuck that supposed to mean?â His attention fully falls upon the younger man. Jin cuts in before it gets too far.Â
âIt is fair, Jungkook. Considering heâs no Lorenzo, that deserves at least seventeen marks out twenty.â He points at Jiminâs painting. Now you donât know who this Lorenâor whoever the guy is. You assume that heâs a famous artist of this world. Like Picasso. Despite everything you would agree Jin with that. Jimin deserves that. Jungkook keeps protesting. Jin ignores him as he goes back to his speech again. âAnd for our dear Li, the alien whoâs planning to abduct the greatest CEO of the centuryâŚâ Okay, now youâre not sure of Jin not being biased. You donât voice your concerns, however. Donât want to lose any more marks after all. Jin carries on. âThe honorable judge board has decided upon eighteen marks out of twenty.â Throws away his notebook so he could join J with her increased clapping and cheering. âHence, the winner of this competition isâŚâ Imitates the sound of drumrolls and bellows your name. J starts jumping up and down.Â
âCâmon, give her twenty!â Jungkook yells through all the noises in the room. âYou gave Jimin seventeen and only eighteen for her?â You couldâve agreed with him and defended yourself but J has made it toward you. And disregarding your protests, is making you join her with her jumping.Â
âI gave her nineteen. Then took out one because she has a smart mouth.â Jin screams through Jâs yelling.Â
âStill, you gave Jimin seventeen?â Jungkook doesnât back down.Â
âOf course, he is my friend.â Jin answers proudly.Â
âWhat the hell? I thought you were supposed to be fairâŚâ You push away J, gaping at Jin with an open mouth. He only grins.Â
Asshole!
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
âSoâŚâ Jimin questions as you fumble with the takeout containers. After announcing your marks, very dramatically, everyone has called it a good time for dinner. Hence, the takeout. âWhat do you want?â You straighten up to face him as he questions. Narrow your eyes and purse your lips, only to shrug at the end.Â
âI donât know. Iâll think about it.â Say as you transfer the food from takeout containers to bowls and plates.Â
âOkayâŚâ Jimin takes two bowls in his hands, ready to take them out to the living room. âBut honestly, you deserve twenty.â Teases making you reel again. Yet before you can start complaining about how his friend was a total douche bag, Jimin disappears through the doorway. You sigh heavily, opening another box of kimchi. Jin can fuck off. Not that youâre really mad at him. No. What you honestly wanted was to impress Jimin. You succeeded at that task beautifully. After that you stopped caring about winning anyway. You just love that he gave Jimin seventeen. Itâs justâŚsometimes itâs fun to bicker with your friends. For no reason. It sure is. With a gentle smile on your lips, you pick up two plates to take to the living room.Â
âIâll take that.âÂ
You turn your head at the unexpected voice. Speaking about the devil! Jin treats you with a warm smile and walks up to you with his arms already outstretched. You twist your body to take the plates away from his grasp.Â
âIâm just pregnant, Jin. You guys need to stop treating me like Iâm built of porcelain.â You complain.
Jin simply ignores you. Simply steps around and take the plates on your hands quite easily. âWeâre not treating you like youâre porcelain, Jimin does. Weâre just treating you like youâre pregnant.â He defends himself. You roll your eyes.Â
âHah! You treat me like Iâm the only woman whoâs pregnant in this world.âÂ
âYou are the only woman I know whoâs pregnant. So, itâs basically the same thing. Just shut up and lemme help.â He steps away from you. You stop arguing. Well, itâs a good argument. You wait for him to walk away with the plates. He doesnât.Â
âWhat?â So, you question after a second in silence.Â
âYou can draw.â Jin says. A snort leaves you before you can control it. Whatâs he getting at?
âSo they say.â You wave a hand in the air. A silent signal for him to drop it. Only if these people ever listen to you, though.Â
âEver considered making a use of it?â He puts the plates back on the table. Your eyes follow the movement before going back to his face and stopping there.
âIâŚdid, actually.â You bite on to your bottom lip, suddenly feeling deflated. That familiar pang hitting your chest. That bitter feeling is getting a hold over your heart. A feeling of being useless. Purposeless. âI studied design at college. So, I guess yes. I did make use of my skills.â You try your very best to keep the edge out of your voice. Itâs not fair to be bitter about it. Itâs no oneâs fault. You said you wanted to stay and you still want to stay. You said you wanted to have the baby and you still do. Thereâs no reason to be bitter. Yet the feeling lingers.Â
âYou did?â Jin hums. âPast tense? How about now? You no longer want to use it?â Inquires. God, you want him to talk about something else. Or simply leave you be. This topic isnât easy. And you donât have answers either.Â
âNo. I mean, I donât know. Havenât thought about it. I justâumâŚyou know started living here. I mean permanently, and I still have no plan.â You trail on.Â
âDo you know when youâll have a plan?â He asks again. This time you furrow.Â
âOkay, what is this, Jin? Why are you interrogating me all of a sudden?âÂ
âIâm not interrogating you, Li. Iâm just asking.âÂ
âWhy?â
âI donât know. Maybe, Iâm just curious. OrâŚâ He shrugs. âIâm a little too sad to think that youâll just waste yourself away. Just give up on everything just because youâre pregnant.â You open your mouth and then close it stupidly. You swear that you want to tell him that itâs not the case at all. But he starts speaking again before you could. âI know it might not make sense for me to be sad about you but I do. Weâre friends. Have you thought about resuming your studies?â He folds his arms across his chest. You place your hand on a nearby chair, just because you want to do something. You nod while averting your gaze to your hand.Â
âI did.âÂ
âAnd?âÂ
You look back at him. âI canât just resume a degree that doesnât exist, can I, Jin.âÂ
âThen start it over.â He raises a brow. Seems too sure about his ideas. Unfortunately for him, youâre going to prove him wrong.Â
âWith what academic background? In this world, I donât have anything on my own. Not even an identity. Iâm not a part of this world. How do you think Iâm gonna apply for a university when I canât even prove my elementary studies. No, you know what? Fuck that, I canât even prove Iâm a citizen of this country. I got nothing and I donât know where to start.â You suck in a sharp breath after spewing those words out, relishing in the silence that follows after. Jin simply blinks at you. Then slowly nods.Â
âDoes Jimin know it?â He glances at the doorway, as if Jimin is standing there. For a second, you worry that he does and he heard everything. Relief washes over you to see the doorway empty. âThat youâre sad about it. That you want to do something.âÂ
âKind of.â You answer simply. Now you never expected to have this conversation with Jin out of all the people. Heâs the least closest one to you. Hence, your surprise when he easily understands that you crave a purpose. âHe knows I want to restart my life butââÂ
âHe doesnât know that you want it this badly that you get mad when you think about it?â You nod again at Jinâs question. âSo, why donât you just tell him. He can help you, you know? We can forge your documents.âÂ
Your eyes widen in surprise. Again, heâs the last person to suggest something like that.Â
âWeâhe can give you the best academic background anyone wants. Thereâs nothing money canât do. Or, he can simply give you the degree. Or the job. Whatever you ask for. Jimin will even give you the damn sun if itâs possible.â Jin carries on. You wouldâve been happy about that knowledge some other time. Not now.Â
âThatâs exactly why I donât tell him. Why I don't ask him for help. First, heâd blame himself saying I lost it all because of him. Second, I donât think Iâll be happy to have something that I donât deserve. I want to earn it. Be proud of myself. Sitting on a director's seat without a single qualification would make me feel like shit, Jin.â You ramble. That bitter feeling swirling inside you faster and faster with every word. Jin stays silent at that. Just staring at you. After a minute that feels like an hour he smiles.Â
âWellâŚwhat if you get a chance to deserve it then?âÂ
âHuh?â You knit your brows together in confusion. What is he even talking about?
âSo, you donât want to work for Jimin or for the company because that means you got a job that you donât deserve?â He probs to which you nod. âI can give you work that would prove you deserve itââÂ
âJin, thatâs exactly the sameââÂ
âNo itâs not. Iâm not giving you a title, Li. Iâm giving you a task and a deadline. Iâm giving you a chance to prove yourself and us that youâre talented. I donât give a fuck about a degree. You can start earning it from zero again. All Iâm saying is that I can give you something to do that would make you feel useful.â
Oh!
"It'd be like freelancing. Trust me, Iâm the last person to encourage nepotism. I love how you want to make it by yourself and how you donât want to get spoiled over the fact that you have Jimin. But, not knowing when to take the opportunities is pure stupidity, Li. I wonât just drop it on your lap ever. Iâm meaner than that. Itâs just an opportunity.âÂ
Suddenly, you feel your body grow weaker. Not in a bad way, no. That bitter swirl inside you comes to a halt as a new sensation starts to course through your veins. Causing your body goes weak. Your heart is slowly starting to beat loudly and fast inside your chest. And there comes an urge to squeal. Laugh. Scream. Take a step forward and throw your arms around Jin's neck. You donât, however. You donât do any of that. You just stay rooted in your spot eyes fixed on Jin. You canât believe it. Is this really happening? You still donât want to take help. But Jin makes sense. Heâs not helping you. Not like Hoseok did, anyway. Not like how Jimin would do it. And youâd be a fool to lose it.Â
âBut howâs it not the same?â Yet you question in the end, trying to keep your calm. âWhat do you want me to do?âÂ
âVisuals.â Jin answers even before you barely finish your question. âA teaser?âÂ
âSo, social media?â Itâs getting very hard for you to not get excited.Â
âYes. And the backdrop for the press launch.â With those words your excitement dies down. A bit. Social media, you can totally deal with. He wants you to design the freaking backdrop for the press. Thatâs a lot of faith. âGive me one visual, Li. Iâm not saying youâre getting a job through me. Youâre going to work for it. Youâll walk me through the concepts within two weeks. We have three months until the launch. If I like your concepts, youâll work on it. And if it makes through, youâll see your work on the launch. If not, then youâll try again for something else.â Jin explains. Or rather commands. You knew he'd be a tough boss. Hoseok was far better.Â
âAnd thereâs no one else working on this?â You donât want to steal someone elseâs chance. Someone else who works their way up to the RUN design team through the sacrifices worth years.Â
âWe do. We have a team working on it. Youâre not stealing someone elseâs job, Li. We havenât confirmed anything yet. We donât have a fixed idea about whatâs going to be the backdrop. My team will be presenting the ideas to me within two weeks.â Jin picks up the plates back again. âIf anything, itâs not fair to you. They had months to brainstorm their ideas and come up with something. You just have two weeks. Youâll get paid only if you make it through. Fair?â Raises a brow.Â
You nibble on your bottom lip. This feels like a dream. Too good to be true. If it wasnât for Jin, you would disregard such an offer saying itâs a scam. But it is Jin whoâs offering. Honestly, you donât care about getting paid. Itâs for RUN who youâre doing this. Even if it doesnât make it to the launch, this will give you a place to start. After a brief second of thinking, you let your grin loose.Â
âFair.â Agree. Jin dips his head just once, smiling broadly that a dimple forms in one of his cheeks.Â
âGood, Iâm looking forward to working with you Miss Spring Roll. Do your best!â He turns around. Walks over to the doorway but you stop him before he steps out.Â
âJin!â He turns his head. âPlease donât tell anything to Jimin. I do want to earn it. Heâs gonna be a pain in your ass and make you choose me if he knew it.â You request, to which Jin smirks. Jimin can be a real pain if he wants to.Â
âYou got it.âÂ
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
Itâs been two days since you agreed to work for Jinâs design team. Unofficially. Nobody knows youâre working to RUN again. But this time, instead of delivering coffee from one room to another, you sit on Jungkookâs desk with scattered paper across it. You wonât be stepping inside the company. Jin has provided you with all the information you need to make it work. Too much information to be precise. Itâs giving you a headache. You donât know where to start. Youâve been given information about the plot, a fantasy full with romance and action and gore and for fuckâs sake a bath of blood. The gameâs not for the kids so it makes sense. Youâve been given the character designs. Designs that had made your jaw dropped to the floor at how pretty and realistic they felt. You wouldâve kissed designersâ hands who made such a thing possible. You donât know the full plot of the game. Just the genre, details about the characters and the mood Jin is after. But with the little peeks you had, you already know the game is going to be a recordbreaker. And youâre happy to be a part of it.Â
You still don't want to get a job with the help of your CEO boyfriend or his friends. But what Jin said makes absolute sense. This is a one of a kind opportunity. If this works, then youâll have the first work on your portfolio. Itâs not like youâre hired. Nothing will happen unless you come up with really good ideas. Ideas you donât have at the moment.Â
âWatcha doing?â The sudden voice that comes next to your ear makes you squeal and grab your chest with both hands.Â
âWhat the fuck, Jungkook? Youâre going to give me a heart attack one of these days.â You slap his thigh, annoyed at how often heâs been doing it.Â
âCalm down, Noona. You know itâs just me in the house.â Jungkook rolls his eyes. Drags a spare chair toward the table and sits next to you. You grumble how that doesnât justify his actions as he peers over at the thousands of papers you have with millions of scribbles on them. âStill got nothing?â He picks up one paper.Â
âStill got nothing.â You sigh heavily and push all the papers away from you together with the tablet.Â
âYouâll get there, Noona. Donât stress yourself too much. Youâre pregnant, remember? Jimin will kill Jin if he knows that heâs making you stressed for death.â Jungkook lets the paper fall to the table.Â
âBut I have to come up with something if I need the bid,â You pout. âBut every idea seems overused, not creative or stupid.âÂ
âThatâs what you think. Maybe they are good.â Jungkook chooses a different paper this time. Frowns. âLike this oneâŚâ Squints. âLikeâŚumâŚhow this is showcasingâŚâ Purses his lips. You watch him with a deadpanned expression. You know what he is doing. Still, you curse aloud when the next words leave his mouth. âA dead crow and a girl trying to eat it raw.âÂ
You snatch the paper away. âGet lost, Jeon.â Shove him back. Or try to do so.Â
âThatâs rude.â Jungkook whines, grinning with his nose scrunched up. Only he could do that. Smile like that. You flip him off. Still, he doesnât go away. Just rests his chin on your shoulder. âNo but seriously, youâll get there, baby. Donât think too much. If it works, then it works, if not weâll find another way.â Coaxes. You sigh for the ninth time and relax. Heâs right, this is not life, except it is life for you at the moment. Yet you nod in agreement. Jungkook lets out a hum in satisfaction, then pulls away from your personal space. âLetâs go have dinner now, shall we?â Asks, already getting to his feet. You tilt your head up to look at him.Â
Oh, your sweet Jungkook!
There comes that painful clench in your heart. You still havenât talked with him. Now you know what youâre doing. Youâre making excuses. Youâre taking everything in your life as an excuse not to have that conversation. From your health to your baby. Then it was about his finals and your petty art competition. Now what? Oh, you can definitely think about a hundred more excuses. Like the fact that heâs in such a good mood today. Apparently has submitted his final assignment for the semester, being done with his college life. Has prepared a whole feast today for the two of you just because heâs happy. That conversation would ruin it. You canât do that now, can you?Â
Selfish. Completely, unforgivably, cruelly selfish. How could you do that to him? To Jungkook? Out of all the people? Then what should you do? Have the talk now? He wouldnât be smiling like that after it, though. And you wonât be in a place to design a game launch backdrop. Still, you should do it right? The perfect time youâre looking for will not come ever. Because you donât want it to come. Youâll always find a reason not to have the confrontation. Maybe you should do it. Just do it.Â
âCâmon, get up!â Jungkook urges you to your feet, snapping you out of your thoughts. You let him pull you up. âYou're gonna love Bulgogi.â He informs, eyes glinting. Heâs gone so far with the dinner tonight, overworking himself. Heâs so happy. Youâll ruin it if you open your mouth for the wrong thing. Then, how long are you gonna drag this up?Â
Jungkook starts dragging you out of the room. You just follow him, mind spiraling. Yet with no decision about what to do as you make it to the living room.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
You sit on the floor, legs crossed and across from Jungkook on the coffee table turned into the dinner table for the night. You take a look at all the food Jungkook has placed on it, with wide eyes.Â
âOh my God, why did you make so much food, Kook. Itâs only the two of us.â You already knew he was making a feast but he exceeds your expectations with this. âWe wonât be able to finish these.âÂ
âThatâs why we have a fridge.â Jungkook nonchalantly hands you a pair of chopsticks. You take them, sighing. Looks like youâll be eating until you canât anymore. You pick a slice of Bulgogi Jungkook boasted about so much. And the first bite gets you moaning. You immediately dig in again, causing Jungkook to smile at you. Fondly. So fondly that you are afraid heâll turn into a cotton candy. Thatâs how sweet he looks. Okay, fuck, you canât let him keep going like that. His whole world revolving around you. Taking care of you. Being happy when youâre happy. Sad when youâre sad. Just existing to please you when you canât give him anything in return. No. Youâve dragged this out long enough. Itâll be now or never. Heâs happy, yes. Heâll always be either too happy or too sad to have a heart breaking conversation. Youâll not be able to focus on anything else after you break his heart. His pain will make you hurt. But guess what? You donât care about your wellbeing anyway. Not at this moment.Â
You put back the chopsticks slowly. Jungkook glances up at you through his lashes, his own mouth full of rice. Youâre doing this. Yes. For better or for worse.âJungkookâŚâ You begin slowly. Your heart beating in your throat. Your chest tightening up. He hums in answer. Still too distracted to read the room. To understand that youâre no longer smiling. âWeâŚI need to taââÂ
Your voice gets cut off by the sudden sound of your phone ringing. Your eyes instinctively fall at the phone screen that is lit up with an incoming call. By an unknown number. Brows knitted together, you pick up the phone. Whoever thatâs calling, this is the worst time. You should hang it up and carry on with your talk. Right? Right? Or should you?Â
âOh, it might be Jin, or someone else from the company.â The words leave your mouth even before you can think about it. Jin wonât call you at this hour. No will anyone else from the company. Why would they when they donât even know you. Excuses. Again. But you take it despite all the promises you made yourself. You pick up the phone and press it to your ear. âHello!â You greet with a very forced enthusiasm. Using your customer service voice. High pitched and chirpy. Itâs truly amazing how you are able to fake that voice even when your heart is still beating madly. Jungkook eyes you curiously for a second but then proceeds to stuff his mouth with almost everything. A deep silence occurs from the other side of the line. âHello!â So you chirp again. Still polite and energetic.Â
âLi!â Then there comes a voice. And you freeze. Call it a gut feeling but just at the first word you know something bad is coming, even though you donât recognize the voice. âI need a favor.â The voice continues. Like that you recognize the voice. How could you not recognize your own voice? Your already beating heart picks up even more for a different reason this time.Â
âLiâLiya?â You dumbly look for a clarification when you damn well know itâs her. Jungkook pauses his hand mid air. A piece of Kimchi trapped between his chopsticks. He gapes at you. Then drop the cutlery without a care.Â
âYes,â Liya answers you through the phone. âAre you free? I need to talk to you.â Says without any further ado. You look at Jungkook with wide eyes. As if heâs the one talking to you. Jungkook widens his eyes.Â
âIs that Liya? Kim Liya?â He leans forward. You nod just once. Jungkook scoffs. âHang up the phone.â Almost gets to his feet as you scoot back defensively. Well, itâs not that you want to talk with Liya. Sheâs the last person you want to have a chit chat with. But, something in youâprobably the guiltâwonât let you just follow Jungkookâs orders. âNoona!â He exclaims in bewilderment as you clear your throat.Â
âWhy?â You answer Liyaâs question with another question. âWhy do you want to talk to me?â
âYouâll know if you talk to me, wonât you? Isnât that the purpose of talking? Whatâs the point if I just tell you now?â Â
Okay, you should hang up the phone. This is ridiculous. The edge in her voice. The amused undertone, as if sheâs talking to the dumbest bitch in the world causing your blood to spike.Â
âCan you?â Yet before you can hang up, she asks again. This time her voice is a bit quietened. The edge and the amused tilt gone. If you didnât know any better youâd say you heard the desperation. âPleaseâŚâ Oh, you definitely heard the desperation. Kim Liya just pleads with you. That should talk thousands of unspoken words. Come to think of it, you know she would never call you if she wasnât desperate. Sheâs desperate. It doesnât matter what Jimin thinks, she hasnât found a way yet. Now sheâs here, wanting to talk to you. And you can only think about one topic that sheâd want to talk about. She wants you to help her with making herself better. You donât know how. But shouldnât you help if you can?
âNoona, hang up the phone for fuckâs sake!â Jungkook hurries to his feet and walks around the table. You twist your body away from him. Things that happened the past few weeks have shifted your mind away from concerns about Liya. Youâve come to believe Jiminâs words and think Liya would find a way and itâs out of your control. Yet youâd be lying if you say that she didnât cross your mind here and there. Maybe, itâs not genuine concern. Itâs just a need to feel less guilty about what you did. It was there, nonetheless. Now, you have a chance to actually do it. You need to help her. You have to help her. Even though a voice inside your head is screaming at you that this is going to end badly.Â
âOkay.â You breathe out after a long second, ignoring Jungkookâs attempts to snatch your phone away. So do you ignore his gasp at your next words. âWhen?âÂ
âNow.â Liya simply says, making you snap your head toward the window to double check the hour. Itâs late. Dark as hell outside.Â
âWhat do you mean now? Where are you?â You rush to your feet, Jungkook hissing on your ear.Â
âIâm outside the restaurant. This canât wait, Li. I need to talk to you now.âÂ
Okay fuck. This is crazy. And did you think sheâs asking? Of course, not. Sheâs already here. Sheâs not asking if you could meet her but demanding that you meet her. She already knew youâd say yes. Well, you already said yes. Itâs better to get it done sooner than later.Â
âFine, gimme a second.â With that you hang up the phone, already moving toward the front door. âLiya wants to meet me, sheâs outside now.â You let Jungkook know while you move.Â
âAnd you fucking said yes? Are you kidding me, Noona?â Jungkook catches up to you. Walks around you just to stand up in front of you and block your path. âYou gonna meet her?â
âYes, I am Jungkook,â You try to sidestep him. Fail. He successfully blocks your path again.Â
âAre you fucking crazy? Why the fuck would you do that? You know sheâs not gonna congratulate you or something. You know this is trouble!â Jungkook barks.Â
âOh, câmon, she needs help. And I owe her at least that, donât you think.â You try in vain to get to the door again, your patience running thin.Â
âNo, I donât think so. You donât owe her anything, Noona. How many times do I have to tell you? Itâs Jiminâs faultââ
âJimin canât clap with one hand, can he?â You snap. Jungkook could be ridiculous sometimes. âItâs my fault as much as his. This is Liyaâs space and I stole it and it makes me feel like shit and itâll always make me feel that way. So, Iâm going to help her whether any of you like it or not. Now, move.â This time you successfully manage to step around and continue to your intended location. You hear Jungkook sighing in resignation.Â
âOkay, what if she tries something funny? Iâm coming with you then.â Jungkook only gets to take one step forward before you turn around, glaring at him hard enough to make him freeze.Â
âNo, you are not, Jeon Jungkook.â
âWhy not?âÂ
âBecuase, you canât take care of me all the time. You need to stââ You bite on your tongue to stop the venom pouring out. You were so close to letting it all out. Not now. Not when Liya is waiting outside. You need to handle one thing at a time. You need to make it fair to Jungkook. Youâll sit down and talk to him with a clear mind. Not when youâre slowly getting angry at his persistence and getting nervous about Liya. You take a deep breath. âIâm a big girl Jungkook. I can handle myself. You donâtâcanât take care of me all the time. Iâm going to be a mom right? How can I take care of my baby if I canât just have a conversation with umâum⌠my boyfriendâs ex, who also happens to beâŚmyâŚaltrenate versionâŚâ Oh, that really doesnât sound good. But youâll finish what you started now..
âStillâŚâ Jungkook rubs his face with both his hands. He seems not concerned about what you tried to say and didnât. Â
âIâll be fine, Kookie. What do you think will happen? That sheâll hold a gun to my head or something?â You pick up your coat, open the door not bothering to change your slippers.Â
âConsidering that itâs Liya, of course that can happen.â He argues back but stays where he is. You roll your eyes. What a ridiculous idea? Even if Liya is a CEO and the daughter of Kimâgenetically or not, thereâs no way in hell that she could do something like that. Right? Can she? You pause midstep, your hand barely raised toward the door handle.Â
âIf I donât come back within thirty minutes, then come looking for me.â You mumble without looking back at Jungkook.Â
âSo, you are scared that sheâd do something bad.â Jungkook bellows.Â
âNo, I am not!â You shout back, stepping out and closing the door behind you.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
You exit through the front doors of the restaurant. The cold autumn air instantly bites on to your skin horribly, causing you to wrap your arms around yourself. You first look into your right. Find no familiar white car among the few vehicles parked there. Then you look to your left, eyes squinting to find the car youâre looking for. You donât get to look that hard when Liya saves you the trouble and switches on the headlights. Sheâs parked a few blocks away from the restaurant. And the sight of the vehicle suddenly gives you a sick feeling. Youâve always felt uncomfortable in Liyaâs presence. Of course, you did. Youâve been cheating with her boyfriend behind her back. Even now you feel the same uneasily sensation in your tummy. That paired with Jungkookâs words really do make you stay rooted to your spot and consider your life decisions.Â
Maybe this is a bad idea? Maybe you shouldâve hung up the phone and livedâŚhow exactly? Happily? God, what are you even thinking? This is not a drama and Liya is not a murderer. Sheâs obviously not going to hold you at gun point. Sheâll have the time of her life if she knows that youâre scared of her. Cursing yourself mentally, you start to walk forward. Donât stop until youâre standing next to Liyaâs car. And nor do you waste any time slipping inside the passenger seat. The pleasant warmth inside wraps around you like a comfy blanket yet do nothing to rid the coldness inside your body. You exhale as you close the passenger side door and sit properly. Your heart going mad inside your chest. And thatâs all you can hear. Only your own heart beats as a deafening silence follows.Â
Silence!
You look at Liya once, finding her eyes trained forward. So you do the same.Â
Silence!
Your heart is going to explode. You bunch up your coat between your fingers.Â
Silence!
Okay this is unbearable. If she doesnât talk, then you should.
âSoââ
âIs it true?â Liya beats you up to it. You furrow in annoyance at how rude she does that and look at her with confusion. But then it all gets resolved when you find her eyes no longer looking out through the windscreen. Instead her eyes are on you. Your stomach to be precise.Â
Oh!
Your hands instinctively go to cover your belly. Still the same as how it was a week before. Or a week before that week. Thereâs no visible bump yet. Liya canât see any difference in you at all. But she knows. Somehow she does. Jimin said he didnât tell her. Then how? Does it matter? Itâs not like youâd be able to keep it a secret forever. Not that you want to anyway.Â
âYes.â Hence your simple answer.Â
Liya scoffs. âWell, then thatâs what changed. Here I thought it was about Jimin.â Grips the steering wheel tight. You know what sheâs talking about. Sheâs been convinced that Jimin was your reason that stopped the shifting. Honestly, youâve thought the same. The thought that it might be your baby never crossed your mind. It makes perfect sense when you think about it. You try not to think too much about it. Instead you open your mouth to ask her what she wanted. Just to change your mind when she starts speaking again. Eyes back on somewhere you canât see. âJimin must be so god damn happy. He always wanted kids. He wanted to get married and have kids soon after we moved in together,â She trails on. You clench your jaw, doing your utmost best not to get irritated. âMaybe it was all my fault. Because I always said no. I said later.âÂ
âIt was your choice to make.â You blurt out. Every story has two sides. It indeed was her choice to decide when she wanted to get married or have kids. Nobody should accuse her of not wanting it when Jimin did. And was that the reason why they fell out of love? Were they ever actually in love? Why do Jimin love you? Because youâre ready to have his kids when Liya didnât? Okay, you need to stop. Those evil questions wonât get you anything good in your life. You did what felt right for you. Nobody should accuse you of wanting it when Jimin did either. It was your choice.Â
âIt was, wasnât it?â She finally turns her head to look at you. âThen why am I feeling so jealous?â Another glance of your stomach. âWhy am I feeling so bitter?âÂ
âYou didnât love Jimin, Liya. You know that.â You ignore her question. Liya rolls her eyes.Â
âWhyâs everyone keep saying that? You are not me, Li. You donât know what I feel or what I felt, just because youâre me from a different world. Stop doing that.â She keeps her voice calm and steady despite the hidden rage behind her words. You can hear it. Can hear it and your brain reacts to it. Itâs through gritted teeth that you throw out your next words.
âThen what? You did love him?âÂ
âI donât know!â Liya practically screams. You flinch. âOkay? I donât fucking know.âÂ
Oh, but you do. âYou didnât love him, Liya. You loved the idea of Park Jimin. You loved having him as your boyfriend. He was the prize you won for going against your father for the first and last time of your life and you wanted to keep the prize so everyone would know you won. That you keep winning. That is not love. Thatâs not fair on him. I know Iâm wrong. I know heâs wrong but maybe, just maybe he deserved someone who loves him, not someone who keeps him as a fucking trophy.â You ramble so fast and so hard that you end up gasping for air. Liya gapes at you with wide eyes, clearly not expecting an outburst from you. She looks stunned. You wait for the refusal. Wait until she declines, saying that you donât know her. It doesnât come. Eleven after a long full minute of silence all you receive is a shrug.Â
Fuck! Did she just admit that?
âDoesnât matter what it is now, does it?â In the end she chokes out a laugh. âI already lost him, andâŚâ She exhales loudly. You think itâs more to collect herself than to ease the pain. Is she in pain? She certainly doesnât look good. She had such radiating skin which now looks dulled and withered. She had such bright eyes which now look hollow and dark. You always thought Liya was and is the better version of you. Both regarding looks and life. Even though you are the same person, sheâs always looked prettier and she's a darn CEO. What else is there to achieve? Youâve often wondered how and why Jimin fell in love with you. Well it somehow happened. The aftermath? Liya has lost her glow. Sheâs literally dying. If you donât help her sheâll be dead soon. All because of you.Â
âI donât care anymore,â Liya pulls her act together faster than you expected. âAll I care now is surviving, Li. I wonât just let you steal my life. I hate losing, you know? I always hated losing.â She spills the words out in such rage but her voice is still calm. âI want my life back and I need a purpose to hang on to my life. I want a reason to keep going so you wonât steal it entirely.â Liya keeps rambling. The sickening feeling inside you returns, making your guts churn. This time itâs guilt. You never intended to steal it. Nor do you want to steal it. You desperately want to say it but Liya doesnât give you a chance. âYou know what, Li? My whole life, there was only one reason that kept me going. Winning. I woke up everyday to win something more. Why? So my goddamn father would be proud about me,â Another wet choke. Youâre scared sheâd cry. You donât know what to do. âGuess what? Heâll never be proud. Now? After what Jimin did? Never!âÂ
âI no longer care about it either. He canât accept me as his daughter? Fine. I donât want to be his daughter anymore, butâŚâ She turns to you. Now you can see her eyes burn with fire. Not the bright glow she usually has in them but a fire that would burn you down. âI still have to keep winning. Because thatâs my reason. My business is my baby, Li. I poured my life into it and I will not let any of you take it away from me.â You try to speak for the hundredth time when she starts to shuffle around, twisting her body around and reaching for a large envelope on the back seat. She hands it over to you. You, utterly confused, open the envelope to peek inside, finding it full with white papers. âPeople know that my father is a shareholder of R.U.N, but they donât know that it was his money that built the place.â Liya explains as you keep glancing at the stack of papers inside. Having no idea about what sheâs getting at.âThey donât know Jimin and his friends were little gold diggers and used me for money.â Your head snaps up from the papers in your hands. Eyes wide.Â
âWhat?â You scowl. âThatâs not true they didnâtââÂ
âAnd whoâs gonna believe them,â Liya taps her forefinger on the envelope. âJimin signed the contract, LiâŚYou probably don't know about these because youâre a little dumb college girl.â You try to interfere but she doesnât let you. âThat doesnât mean everyone is dumb. This contractâs going to be enough to prove that theyâJimin, used me for money and then cheated on me.âÂ
You suck in a sharp breath. Guilt instantly turning into blind, bristling anger. Why did you ever think this would be a good idea? Jungkook was so right. This is Kim Liya and she doesnât ask. No. She demands.Â
âYou got to be fucking kidding me, Liya. Are you threatening him?âÂ
Liya clicks her tongue. The Liya who sat here with a haggard look is nowhere to be seen. Sheâs gone like a flick of a switch. In her place now sits a woman whoâs spitting venom in your face. Amused. A slick smile on her lips. âCourse not, he is not here. I am threatening you, dummy.â Her smile widens. âNow, Jimin is really something, Iâd give him that. Either he should be really stupid or really brave to launch a game when his reputation has been damaged so badly. He still has his little followers, I know that. Some people would do anything for a pretty face and toned abs,â She shakes her head in disappointment. âAnd heâs lucky that some donât like me. Theyâd support Jimin just because they hate me. But, with this thing out,â Another tap on the envelope. âThe company will receive a considerable amount of backlash. Theyâd see Jimin as the little gold diggerââÂ
âOkay, shut the fuck up!â You finally snap. Seething. Seeing red. This is a mistake and you were stupid enough to think that this wouldâve gone any other way. Still you wonât sit here looking dumb while she insults your Jimin that way. âYouâve gone fucking crazy, Liya.â You mutter through clenched teeth. âI wanted to help you. Really help you. But this?â You hold the stupid envelope before your face. âIs stupid.â You ignore the way Liya smirks, not deterred by your words even a little bit. âAnd if you think Iâm gonna do anything you ask me to doâŚthen you need to get your head checked. Fuck off!â You almost turn around and get out of the car. Almost.Â
âI wouldnât do that if I was you, Li.â Liya stops you with a stern edge to her voice. You pause. âI mean you can leave, no one's holding you hostage here, but I want you to understand how serious this is. I want you to know that I am not joking. I will do it!â You glare at her with all your might. Anger swirling inside you like a volcano that is about to burst. Oh you can hit her. Damn the guilt. This is unacceptable. âAnd also Iâll make sure that no oneâŚnot a single soul on this earth would want to support R.U.N. I might not be a people pleaser who always says yes to everyone but I am a convincing liar, Li. Thatâs how I manage to survive in this world full of vultures. So, listen to me carefully, I donât care what I have to do. A pretty little lie can go a long way. A few tears, and bruises, and a good story will do the trick.âÂ
You freeze. Itâs not that you didnât take her seriously. You did since the very first moment she handed you the damn envelope. With everything in you, you believed she would totally do it. Now, though, as her words sink in, you feel like your blood runs cold. Sheâs going to accuse Jimin. Of something heâs never done. Never even thought of doing. But who would the people believe? Him, who already cheated on his girlfriend withâas they beliveâher twin sister or a woman whoâs crying in distress. Covered in bruises. You grit your teeth so hard that your jaw aches. Still you find yourself unable to stop it. Completely prickling with anger that your ears are ringing, sight turning hazy and not even being able to speak. Liya takes full advantage of it.Â
âI hope you donât want that, right, Li? Imagine being the reason why your lover loses everything. If it weren't for you, none of this couldâve happened. This is all because of you. Then youâll have to watch Jimin crumble,â She gasps softly. Like she just remembered something. âOh, and then can you imagine having to raise a baby in such a household. Father going bankruptâŚthen comes the lawsuits. Debt. The bills. Itâs not like you can be of any help now, can you?â A smirk twists her face.Â
âYouâre fucking crazyâŚâ You breathe out, your voice hoarse and uneven. Youâre at the brink of crying. You donât want to. Never want to show how weak you are.Â
âI amâŚI am very crazy. Youâve made me that way. Now listen here babes, itâs still not late. I donât want any of this. I just want my business back. And my life. I hope Jimin has already told you what I wantââÂ
âFuck no, Liya. No fucking way!â You rage, fingers fisting around the envelope and crumpling a corner. âHe already said no. You will not use him anymore.â You shake your head. Madly. âNo you wonât. I thought you were a smart woman, Kim Liya. This ainât gonna work. You think your father will believe it when Jimin goes back and claims that you never broke up?âÂ
âHe willâŚâÂ
âHow?! Jimin claimed it was not you in the videos.âÂ
âAnd you think my parents believe that they have a daughter whom they never knew of?â Liya leans forward. A brow raised. âDo you think my mom will believe that she gave birth to two girls without ever knowing it? I mean my father isnât the biggest believer of my mom but even he knows that she only ever gave birth to me. To them it was me who was on the videos. It was me who brought shame. AndâŚâ She bites on to her bottom lip. Face suddenly brightening up. âWe donât need rational reasons to explain his actions, Li. All we do need is to agree to destroy the evidence Jimin found on my father and voilĂ ! We have a deal. Mr Kim is gonna vote for me at the next board meeting. Heâs gonna accept that me and Jimin are still together and give me whatever he owes me.â She rubs her palms together. âIâm gonna get what I want and you both can live happily ever after. Isnât that a good deal?â
No itâs notâŚItâs definitely not. For how long would they have to do it? To pretend like a couple? Jimin would never agree to this. This means he falls back into the Kim family's trap. Back to being their little puppet. Liya must think you're a little idiot but you have enough brain to know that sheâs never going to stay true to her words. Sheâll ruin you. Sheâll ruin Jimin. Sheâll ruin everyone who caused her distress. Revenge!Â
âThink about it, honey.â Liya squeals at your silence. âYou have a week. Convince Jimin. Be smart, okay.âÂ
Be smart!
You deflate. All hope vanishes with the bristling rage that coursed through your veins. Liya would do it and you can only think about one way to stop it. Convince Jimin to help Liya. Using your own way. He should never know that this conversation happened.Â
Be smart!
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
Your head is going to explode. Youâve had this terrible headache ever since last night. Then with little to no sleep, now you feel like youâre half dead. You would like nothing more than curling into a little ball and sleeping for a whole week. No, maybe for a whole year. Youâre absolutely exhausted. Still, you canât do anything but think, think, and think. Youâre paralyzed from fear. You want to do something about Liyaâs threat. Something that is rational. Not cowardly and do exactly as she says.Â
Fuck, you canât even imagine going through the same thing again. Watching from afar as Jimin pretends to be Liyaâs boyfriend. Isnât it funny that you and he did that too? Only if this would end from there, though. It wonât. Itâs not just being her boyfriend in front of her father. No. Jimin would have to destroy whatever he found on Mr Kim. Any evidence or dirt that made mighty Kim stays with the company. With that leverage gone, he would definitely pull out from the company. This is again a no win situation. They would lose it all. Again. Even after the effort Namjoon put in. After every horrible thing went through, theyâd still fail. But agreeing to Liya would actually give them a slight chance. Because itâs Liya.Â
You feel like your whole body goes limp. Lips so dry that wetting them with your tongue feels like licking sand paper. The mere thought that you have no other options but to agree to Liya and do as she says makes you want to rip your hair away. But after spending a whole night awake and half of today, youâve finally come to the realization that you have to do it. It doesnât matter how bad itâll hurt. You canât let them fail. Not now when theyâre so close. If not, it would be all because of you. Like Liya said, none of this wouldâve happened if it werenât for you. You have to do it.Â
âYou okay, baby?â Jiminâs voice makes you slightly jump on your seat. After realizing that youâll have to go through this. Youâve decided to talk to Jimin as soon as you can. Itâs better to get this done faster if you must do it. What's the use of delaying it if the results are going to be the same no matter what. Hence, your sudden request for Jimin to meet you for lunch. At Kimâs restaurant. The Bibimbap Jungkookâ whoâs currently working at the restaurant full time until he finds a real jobâmade for you is only touched by Jimin so far. âWhy arenât you eating?â He asks through a mouthful.Â
Youâve been doing your very best to act natural since you called him. Liyaâs advice or not, letting Jimin know what had truly happened wouldnât do any good but make him angry. You have to act smart. Yet with every passing second itâs becoming harder and harder. One of these moments, this facade will crack and your plan, which doesnât really exist will be ruined. âNot hungry, really.â You show him all of your teeth, hoping that it is a very convincing smile. Of course, it is not. Jimin raises a brow in question. You know he sensed something the moment he laid eyes on you a few minutes ago. How could he not? Even Jungkook had questioned you more than a few times. Luckily, you managed to brush his concern off.Â
âOkay, whatâs going on?â Jimin gives up on eating. âYou seem off.â His eyes dull with a look torn between worry and confusion.Â
âNo, Park, Iâm fine,â You wave a hand in the air.Â
No youâre not! You just need to take this out. Talk to him. You just donât know how.
âLil, donât make me worried, okay?â Jimin scans his eyes over your figure, like he could find a clue written somewhere in your body.Â
Okay, this is going nowhere. You called him so you could get this out and be done with it. Dragging this out isn't good. It makes you feel more nervous. More scared. Oh you wanna throw up. You are going to throw up. You clutch your own t-shirt tightly. âAh, I just wanted to talk to you,â You start, avoiding looking at him, keeping your eyes on the food.Â
âAnd?â Jimin urges you. âThen talk to me, baby.âÂ
âYesâŚâ You slowly look at his face, tugging the corner of your lips up with great effort.Â
Act normal. Act normalâŚÂ
Jimin waits patiently.Â
âSo, Liya visited me.â With one last breath, you blurt out. Jiminâs face immediately turns from understanding to annoyance.Â
âWhat? When?â He demands without letting you explain any further. You donât know a way to approach this. Somehow you think you need to lay at least a partial truth out in the open. After your pregnancy chaos, youâve sworn to yourself never to lie to Jimin again. But here you are about to do just that.Â
âYesterdayââÂ
âAnd youâre only telling me now?â Jimin barks. Makes you flinch and glance around embarrassed.Â
âShe visited me last night.â You whisper yell. His sudden outburst makes your nausea and fear worsen. Youâre at edge. Thereâs so much pressure inside you. And you donât appreciate him getting mad at you. It makes something bristle inside you. A perfect opportunity to project all your pent up frustration at the wrong target. You donât want that.Â
âAnd?â Jimin asks as if itâs obvious that you shouldâve told him earlier. âOkay, it doesn't matter. What did she want?â Though, he decides to pay attention to the important bits at last. You gulp. Here you go.Â
âNothing, I meanâŚshe just wanted help.â You carefully consider your words. Words that would convince Jimin to help her without talking about the threat. You watch the way Jiminâs expression hardens. Heâs about to say fuck it. You beat him up to it. âListen, Jimin, I think we should help her.â You grip the table with your both hands. Lean forward. Jimin furrows, mouth forming a circle.Â
âWhat do you mean?â Questions in pure disbelief.Â
âI know you said that sheâll come up with another way but apparently there is no other way. SheâumâŚshe looked so sick andâand we canât just let it happen, can we?âÂ
âWhat are you suggesting?â Jimin doesnât acknowledge your ramble fully as he eyes you suspiciously.Â
âIââ You are starting to tremble. You donât know how to say it. A way to make it sound less crazy and ridiculous. âI mean we canâcan just talk with her father andââÂ
âHoly fuck, Lil!â Jimin barks out a laugh. Not amused. No. Just in pure disbelief. As if he wants this to be a joke. âDo you even hear what youâre saying?âÂ
âI knowâŚâ You almost stand up in your desperation. âI know itâs ridiculous and all but what if she really dies, Jimin?âÂ
âShe wonât.âÂ
âHow could you be so sure?âÂ
âSheâs Liya. Sheâll find a way. This is just the easy way for her.âÂ
âBut what if itâs not!â You canât help but raise your voice a bit. âIf she can't find a way and something bad really happens, then itâll be our fault, Jimin. My fault! We at least owe her that.âÂ
âWe donât owe her shit, Lil. And stop saying itâs your fault for fuckâs sake! She wasnât exactly good, was she?âÂ
âShe didnât cheat on you!â You no longer care about people overhearing you. Fuck everyone. It seems Jimin doesnât care either.Â
âAnd what? Is this how you are going to live the rest of your damn life? Our life? Just being guilty over and over again. Weâyou need to let that go! We did what we did and agreed to live with that.â
âI couldâve if I can make sure she lives a peaceful life.â You almost bang the table in frustration. âI would never have a peace of mind if she fucking dies because of me. I canât justââÂ
âWith what did she threaten you with?â Jiminâs question lands out of nowhere, effectively shutting you up. Your eyes widen. All you do is make the mistake of staying silent for zero point one second. Just too surprised to answer right away. Surprised that he figures that out. And when you open your mouth to deny the accusation, it is already too late. Youâve given yourself away.Â
âShe did notââ
âDonât fucking lie to me, Lil.â Jimin snaps. You suck in a shaky breath. Thereâs only so much you could do to prevent yourself from falling into a completely unrelated, unrealistic and childish assumption at his words. You donât know whatâs happening to you. Maybe youâve been on edge for too long, having no way to express your emotions. Or maybe youâve been jealous, letting your mind wander through all the scenarios that would happen once Jimin starts to pretend-dating Liya. Again. Whatever the reason could be, a swirl of green starts to leak into your vision, mixing with the red.Â
âWhy do you think Iâm lying?â You inquire, your voice calming down for the first time. Calm and collected. So calm that sends shivers down your own spine.Â
âBecause, I fucking know her.âÂ
There he goes. The envious green completely obstructs your view. You know you shouldnât. You knew you shouldnât attack on the wrong target. Itâs just the pent up emotions. You need a healthy way to take them out. Not this way. Jimin is not your punching bag. But you canât help it. Canât help the bitter scoff.Â
âGreat!â You stand up abruptly. âThen you shouldnât ask me what she said. You know her anyway. Maybe, you shouldâve stayed with her since you know her so damn well!â You clench your jaw hard so you wonât yell through top of your lungs in the middle of a restaurant. The restaurant that you work at.Â
You are just pathetic. Thereâs no other way to describe how youâre acting right now. Yet you canât care. You ignore the incredulous look Jimin throws your way as you turn around and storm away. You donât bother to look back. Just straight away walk toward the front glass door and barge into the bustling street. If youâre to think it through when your mind is clear, youâll see how stupid you are being. But at the moment, you arenât ready to think and your mind is a jumble of emotions. You see nothing but red. You hear nothing but a white noise. This is the anger you felt last night. The anger you couldnât let out. You want to scream. You wantâ
âWhat the fuck did you say?â You yelp as a tight grip on your arm yanks you around. Your brief lived surprise at the sudden movement turns into another reason to worsen the state of the ugly monster inside you when you meet with Jiminâs eyes. Darkened with anger. That monster starts raging. Clawing at your skin.Â
âI said, you shouldâve stayed with her since you know herââÂ
âWhat the fuck is wrong with you?â Jimin shakes you by your arm. You canât even consider the fact that youâre outside and people can see you.Â
âWrong with me? I donât know, JiminâŚmaybe, everythingâŚâ Youâre panting like a bull. âYou couldâve been just fine if you stayed with herââÂ
âCould I?â Jimin yells before he catches himself and takes a deep breath. âLilâŚâ Then he mumbles. His tone is much gentler this time.Â
âNo,â You donât let him continue, though. âIâm fucking serious. You couldâve been fine. Everyone safe andâand, of course youâve been together for five years and you know each other so damn well. Maybe I shouldâŚI shouldâŚâ You bite back your words. Not knowing what you are going to say. Yet even without the knowledge of what your next words are going to be, you feel your heart clenches painfully. âIââ
âDonât.â Jimin forgets about staying calm. He yells so loud that few passersby stop to glance at you. In disgust. âDonât even fucking think about it. Donât do it.â He yanks you forward, closer to him. âDonât ever try to push me away, Lil. Not even for my sake.â He grips your other arm as well. Tight. âBecuase nothingâs gonna be solved. If anything, Iâd be just so miserable without you. Iâve said this once but Iâll say it again, Spring Roll, it wasnât your fault. Maybe, I did it the wrong way but weâLiya and I wouldnât have lasted anyway. It wasnât you. And, her painâthis situation is not your fault either⌠trust me. Sheâs just trying to get revenge. Attack you. The person who she thinks ruined her life. If sheâs really capable of doing what sheâs saying sheâll do, then she would be threatening me, Lil, not you. Do you hear me?â Another tight shake.
You blink at Jiminâs face. The storm of emotions in your body suddenly drains into something heavy. Heavy as you realize what you were about to say a minute ago. What were you thinking? Jimin is right. What is wrong with you? How? How could you even think about something like pushing him away. He is your Jimin. Oh, you canât breathe. This time not because of anger, though. Your heart becomes so heavy that you find it impossible not to tear up. Then Jiminâs words make it worse. Worse and worse.Â
âYou need to stop thinking that everything is your fault, baby. Stop thinking you can fix everything. Iâwe went through this already, Lil. You were supposed to tell me. You were supposed to let me know when something bad happens. I donât like to be in bed, getting ready to sleep while someone is fucking threatening the woman I love. You said you wouldnât lie to me again. You saidââ
âBut she promised to ruin the new launch, what was I supposed to do, Jimin. I was soâsoâŚIââ Your voice cracks, making it impossible for anyone to understand what youâre babbling. âSheâsheââ You try again. Steadying your voice with all your might. âShe said sheâll let people know that her father funded your business.âÂ
âSo what?â Jimin blurts. Evidently, not seeing the bigger picture.Â
âShe said sheâll make you look asâas you used her and then dumped herâŚâ From there the words finally begin to flow out. You start reciting every word of Kim Liya as if youâre living in the exact moment. Tears finally starting to roll down. You donât stop until you let it all out. Shaking but strangely feeling calm after youâve poured everything out. âI donât want you or anyone else to go through this shit again, Jimin.â You turn your head down, keeping your gaze at Jiminâs feet. His Chelsea boots. âNot again. You only just figured things out and about to get it done⌠finally⌠and-and this would send us back to square one.â Jimin sighs, then slowly curses. But his grip on you loosens. The next thing you feel his fingers under your chin as he urges you to look back at him.Â
âShe canât do that.â He cups your cheek, slowly rubbing under your eye with his thumb. âI mean she canâŚbut thatâs not just gonna work, Lil. Thoseâd be just baseless lies and I can sue her.âÂ
âYou can sue her but the launch will be ruined already by the time you do that. And whatâs the point of winning the case when youâve lost something youâve worked so hard for?âÂ
âI wonât lose anything. Liya is a smart woman but sheâd been stupid this time. Sheâs not thinking things through. Sheâs in a rush so she chose to threaten you too soon, Lil. She just gave me enough time to prepare.â Jimin shrugs. So nonchalantly that you suddenly feel really stupid. Thatâs it? You were just being paranoid?
âButâbutââ
âBaby,â Jimin grabs your face with both of his palms. Peers into your eyes. âItâs going to be fine.â He kisses the tip of your nose. âIâm not gonna just sit back and watch her ruin it. If she can play, then I can play too. See this is why you should just tell me when someone thinks they can blackmail you,â He furrows for a second. Then sighs. âPlease donât keep me out, Lil. NothingâŚno one is worth to me than you are. I really donât give a fuck. So, donât ever try to bring something in between. Iâm not asking you, okay?â A small smile appears on his lips. âIâm telling you. Donât do that. Itâs not gonna work, anyway. I wonât let you go even if you tell me youâd cut my dick off. You. are. stuck, baby. Just tell me when something like that happens, okay. No one is worth being apart from you or fighting with you. Donât waste our time together for otherâs sake, Lil, because even if I have a lifetime with you that wonât be enough.âÂ
You close your eyes, trying to compose yourself. Then a simple nod. âI know, Iâm sorry.â You croak. Then smile. Genuine this time. âBut for your information Mister, Iâm still so happy to be stuck with you and Iâm so grateful that you wonât let me go, even if that puts your dick in danger.â
Jimin snorts. âYes, that should mean a lot.â Your smile widens. Oh, you are such an idiot. You shouldnât have met her in the first place and then you shouldnât have let her play you that way. Both are stupid moves but nothing would match the fact that you thought about pushing Jimin away. How stupid to think that youâll survive it. You wonât. You know you wonât. Maybe Jimin is bluffing. Maybe thereâs a risk that Liyaâs plan might work and it would fuck up there launch and the company but in the end there will be you and him.Â
That will be more than enough.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
You wave goodbye to J as she reverses the car after dropping you off. Youâve been surprised when J invited you for shopping, claiming she wants a female friend to accompany her and Yoona was too busy with her adult life. So you said yes. Simply because it would give you the much needed distraction from the latest events of your life. Despite Jiminâs words, Liya's threat still rings in the back of your head. Youâre still expecting to see a huge blow out on every media every morning when you wake up. So far, that hasnât happened. Everything seems to be calm and collected, though, it doesnât sit right with you.Â
Your trip to the mall with J has worked miracles. You have actually enjoyed gossiping with a girl and squealing at pretty dresses. And of course, trying them on. Except most of em didnât look good on you. Or so you think. Jimin, on the other hand, has demanded you buy every piece you tried on and sent him pictures of. According to him, the little bump which is barely visible is the hottest thing in the world.Â
Bullshit!
âThe baby is going to be a girl, bish⌠trust me! Make Jimin buy you that damn doll house, itâs cute!â J yells before she finally pulls the car away. You only chuckle since she doesnât give you enough time to answer her before she drives off. You shake your head. Somehow most of your friends are convinced your baby is going to be a girl. You and Jimin haven't decided whether you want to know the gender before the birth. Maybe you should. You turn around after J disappears and start walking toward the stairs. God, you really feel relaxed. Alive. Fresh. A long shower and a movie will definitely complete this day. With that in mind, you run up through stairs. Open the door, almost yelling your arrival to Jungkook when he steals your chance. Just as you step through the door, Jungkook charges in, making you take a surprised step back.Â
âOh hiââ You start excitedly just to swallow down your words when you notice his expression. Grim. Pissed. Brows pulled together. Glaring.Â
Fuck! Jungkook is glaring at you. He never glares at you. Something is not right!
âWhat hapââ You take a cautious step forward. But pause when he lashes out.Â
âDid Liya threaten you?âÂ
Oh!
Your eyes widen in surprise. Itâs not that you intentionally hid it from Jungkook. At first, you had to keep it a secret because thatâs what you were supposed to do. Then after you sorted it out with Jimin you still didnât feel like letting people know before you became sure that Liya wonât be doing anything. You had planned to let him know. Just didnât know when.Â
âHow did youââÂ
âDoes it matter?â Jungkook barks. Not letting you ask a single thing. âShe threatened you just outside my door and you didnât think of letting me know?â He scoffs. You furrow in confusion, clearly not getting why heâs so mad. Sure, you knew he wouldnât be the happiest to know that Liya has threatened you. Especially after he asked you not to meet her. But this? This feels ridiculous. Jungkook looks furious. No, waitâŚhe looks hurt.Â
âKookâŚâ You try again. This time your words trail off when your eyes land on a second figure that appears around the corner. Wearing a grim but guilty expression. Taehyung. Suddenly, you know how Jungkook learned about the threat. Taehyung sighs.Â
âLi, Iâm so sorry, I didnât know you havenâtââÂ
âWhy would you be sorry?â Jungkook cuts Taehyung off. âYou did me a favor, actually.â He turns around and starts walking inside. You look at Taehyung dumbly. He rubs his face in frustration.Â
âListen Jungkookââ Taehyung follows Jungkook just to be stopped mid way when Jungkook spins around suddenly, nearly sending Taehyung hurling back.Â
âDonât, Hyung.â Jungkook glances at you over Taehyungâs shoulder. âPlease leave.â Adds. Almost turns around again but this time you snap.Â
âOkay, what the fuck!â You throw your bag away and stride toward Jungkook. âWhat the hell is going on, Jungkook? Liya threatened me and of course I couldnât tell you. I couldnât tell anyoneââÂ
âYeah like nobody else knows about it?â Jungkook pushes Taehyung to the side. Taehyungâs attempts to stop him turns out to be null. Jungkook closes the distance between you, saving you the trouble of walking up to him. You sigh in exasperation. Why is he acting like a kid?
âWell I had to tell Jimin for obvious reasons and he mustâve toldââÂ
âOh for fuckâs sake! Stop bullshiting, Noona! You just chose not to tell me.â
âThatâs notââ
âJust like you chose not to tell me that youâll be moving out soon!âÂ
You close your mouth shut. Then reopen it. His words hit you like a lightning strike. You feel your head vibrate for a second, your lungs getting vacated of any air. Your eyes shift to Taehyung, whoâs standing there looking like heâs about to faint. So pale and guilty.Â
âFuck.â He mutters. âLi, IâmâŚâ He tries but you pay your attention back to Jungkook. Your head keeps throbbing and the silence that follows after Jungkookâs words stretches and wraps around you like a vein full of thorns.Â
Fuck! Fuck! Fuckfuckfuck!
Jungkook just glares at you. No. No. Heâs not glaring, heâs just looking. Eyes full of pain. You swear you can see a sheen in his eyes. He looks betrayed. No! God noâŚYou didnât mean to. Your heart crumples.Â
âJungkook.â You take a step forward, not knowing what to say. It wouldn't have mattered even if you knew what to say as Jungkook obviously doesnât want to hear it. You wouldâve preferred it if he had slapped you than the way he immediately takes a step away from you. As if you disgust him.Â
âDid you ever intend to tell me?â He asks after a second. âOr did you just plan to disappear one day?âÂ
âOf course not! I justâ-I justââ
âYou just what, Noona?â Jungkook chuckles. But that sound comes out very wet. Like heâs about to tear up any minute. âSince when do you plan to do it?âÂ
âJungkook.âÂ
âJust answer me!â He screams.Â
âSince we knew Iâm pregnant!â So you do too.Â
This time Jungkook laughs. A fully blown laughter. âOf course. Course, you planned this for a whole month behind my back. And you're telling me you have an excuse?â Jungkook at last takes a step toward you. His expression warring between anger and hurt. âWhatâs your excuse, Noona? You just didnât want to tell me?â
âKookie, pleaseâŚâ Your throat is tightening up, eyes welling with tears. Damn this! You just need a moment to tell him the reason but your words fall in deaf ears.Â
âYou didnât think Iâm important enough to let me know?â He keeps going. Every single word of him cutting through you like a sharp blade. âAm I that insignificant you just decided you can walk in and out of my life like Iâm fucking nothing? Am IââÂ
âThatâs because I knew you fucking liked me and I didnât know how to tell you without breaking your heart!!â You couldnât take it anymore. His sharp jabs. His accusations. You scream through the top of your lungs, allowing your tears to free fall as you do. Everything falls into silence. Jungkook gapes at you. Taehyung slowly exhales. âI knew you liked me and IâI knew you wouldnât take the news well. You didnât take the news of the baby well. I didnât know howââ
âSo, you knew I liked you but you kept that as a secret too?â Jungkook regains his wits. This time you canât actually decide if heâs hurt or not. He looks amused. Scary. That look is. âYou knew all along but pretended like you didnât?â
âWhat?âÂ
âWas it fun?â He smiles. âWas it fun having me following you around like a love sick puppy? Is that why you just let it happen? It should be right? You mustâve felt fucking powerful knowing Iâd fucking die for you, so played me? WowâŚYou did great!âÂ
NonononoâŚ.Â
You donât know what to say. You donât know what to do. It hurts. It hurts everywhere. Heâs making the worst kind of assumptions but can you blame him?Â
âNo, JungkookâŚI was just scared. I was scared of breaking your heart. I was scared that youâll just push me away. I was so scared toâto lose you.â You exhale shakily.Â
âYouâre so damn selfish, Noona. So fucking selfish.â Jungkook shakes his head. That amused smile still on his lips as he starts walking past you. You act on instincts. Your brain warns you of the loss about to happen. You jump forward and grab his hand.Â
âNo, please listen.âÂ
âFucking let me be. What else do you want?â Jungkook shakes off your grip so roughly you almost fall backward. Itâs Taheyungâs arms that saves you. Jungkook doesnât even look back. He just makes it toward the front door and disappears through it. The door closes behind him with a loud thud.Â
âNoâŚ.nononoâŚâ You rush to follow him. You canât just let him go and think that you did this to him on purpose. You have to tell him why you did that. You know youâre selfish but you have to talk with him. Yet your attempt at walking fails when Taehyung holds you tightly.Â
âLet him be, Li.â He mumbles in your ear. You donât really hear him. âIâm so sorry, I didnât mean this to happen.â He continues. Oh, you donât care. You just want to go after Jungkook. You try again, making Taehyung spin you around to face him. âNo, Li. Listen to meâŚHey! Look at me.â He grabs your shoulders. âJust give him a moment, yeah? You will make it worse if you go after him right now. Okay?â He raises his brows, giving you a gentle shake.Â
âI was meant to tell him.â You ignore whatever he is saying as you break down. Sobs after ugly sobs leaving you. Taehyung sighs, placing a hand behind your head and pulling you into a warm hug.Â
âI know, Iâm so sorry I ruined it. Iâm so sorry, LiâŚthis happened because of me. I just panicked when I heard Liya threatened you and Jimin is a stupid so I wanted to talk to you. I didnât know you hadn't mentioned anything to him. Iâm so sorry.â Taehyung rambles while swaying you gently. Patting the back of your head. Honestly, you donât care why he did it or if it's his fault. Itâs not his fault anyway. Itâs yours. You ruined this. Taehyung is as innocent as Jungkook is. So you just nod to let him know itâs fine. âIâll do whatever I can, okay. Iâm so sorry.â He keeps apologizing and you just let him. Until you finally pull it together and manage to tell him that itâs not his fault and assure him that itâs okay to leave you alone.Â
Because you want to be alone.
You deserve to be left alone.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
Your phone shows the time as 2 am in the morning. You havenât slept a blink. Havenât even tried to be honest. A long shower and a meal that you took just because you had toâbecuase you had to think of the babyâhadnât done anything to make you any better. Hence why youâre sitting on the foot of the couch. Feeling extremely exhausted but not wanting to go to bed. Jungkook hasnât come home yet after he just stormed away earlier. You have tried calling him and had text him many times asking his whereabouts but he hasnât answered to any of them. Youâre getting worried now. Youâve even tried calling J and Namjoon assuming he was with them but they havenât gotten back to you either.Â
Your phone screen is full with texts but all from Jimin and Taehyung. Youâve asked Jimin not to come over as you wanted to be left alone and wanted to talk to Jungkook alone whenever you get the chance. Surprisingly, Jimin has agreed. Still, heâs been sending you texts every five minutes asking how youâre doing. You ignore his texts not feeling like replying. You do the same to Taehyung. He is still apologizing with shit ton of stickers thatâs making you annoyed now.Â
You sigh, throwing your phone away and glance at the ceiling. You know you deserve it but it doesnât make it any less hurt. Curling your arms around your knees you briefly close your eyes. Just to shoot them open again in panic when you hear the door lock clicking. You waste no time scrambling into your feet just as Jungkook walks in. More like stumbling in. A sharp breath fills your lungs while you watch with wide eyes as Jungkook sways forward, moving in a crooked line.Â
He stops when his eyes land on you. His face beams. Earlier anger is nowhere to be seen. Almost as if the events that happened a mere hours ago was just a hallucination of your mind. Like heâs never left the house raging with anger. Creening with pain. Almost though. You couldâve believed it yourself if it wasnât for the way he canât even stand straight. How heâs ready to kiss the floor any minute.Â
Heâs drunk! So drunk! Youâve never seen him this drunk before.
âJungkook.â You breathe.Â
âNoona!â He exclaims. Walks toward you, bumping into anything solid in his way. âWhat are-are you doâŚing up? You waâŚited for me?â Questions as he comes closer to you. The rotten smell of whisky greets your nostrils making you nauseous. You force it to go away. He grabs your face. âAw, youâre soâŚso-goodto me, arenât you? You shouldnât have stayedââ A tiny hiccup interrupts him. He furrows as if he can physically see the annoying thing thatâs interrupting him. âBad for the baââ Hiccup. âFuck! Baby.â He nods. Agreeing with himself.Â
You place your hands on top of him. âI was just worried. Where were you?â You will yourself not to cry. Itâs hard though. Hard when heâs looking so wrecked. Youâve done this.Â
âDrinking.â Jungkook gives you a lopsided smile. Then it vanishes. âHad to drink causeââ His voice cracks. Here you go again. You fail to keep your sight clear. It blurs immediately at his words. âCuase I waâŚs-sadâŚI was sad, Noona. Fuck!â He chokes. âGod this hurtsâŚâ He rests his forehead against you. You donât think it would ever be possible to feel this much pain again. Your heart crumples so bad that youâre simply helpless. Your heart aches for him. You never wanted this to happen. This is what you were scared of. Breaking Jeon Jungkook. But in the end it is inevitable.Â
âI know,â You give his hands a squeeze. Emotions clogging your throat that even your head starts throbbing. âI know cause it hurts me tooâŚâ You blink, giving the tears a chance to fall down.Â
âIt does?â Jungkook asks. Gosh, it really sounds like a genuine question. Like he really believes you donât give a fuck.Â
âOf course, it does, Kookie. IâI donât know what youâre thinking butâŚbutâŚâ You trail off, not knowing what to say. Where to begin. Should you even do this now? Heâs drunk. Will he even remember this coming morning? âIâm sorry. I really am sorry, Jungkook,â Yet you do it anyway. No more excuses. Youâve already broken him. In the worst way possible. Jungkook shakes his head. You peer at his glassy eyes through your wet lashes. âI know Iâm so fucking selfish. Iâm so selfish to wanting to keep youââ
âNo, donât s-say thatâŚâ Jungkook interrupts you. Still shaking his head. âYouâre not selfish.âÂ
There heâs doing it again!
âNo, Jungkookââ
âYouâre not, Noona. You know I didnât mean it right? I didnât mean it when I said that earlier. I was just hurt and mad,â He keeps resting his forehead against you. His whisky laced breath fanning against your face. âNo. I was scared too. I was hurt you didnât tell me before but I was more scared, Noona. Just like you.â His fingers press into your skin. Desperate. âI was scared youâll just leaveâŚfuck! Donât leave please!âÂ
âFor fuckâs sake JungkookâŚâ You sob. Loud. This is worse. Maybe you can take his harsh words. This? You hold on to his hands so hard. âDonât say thatâŚâÂ
âIâŚâ Jungkook doesnât care about what youâre saying. Youâre not sure heâs even hearing you. âIâm so glad you didnât tell me, NoonaâŚâÂ
âWhat?âÂ
âSo glad you kept it a secret because you were scared of losing me. It makes me happy. Makes me feel important to you. Important enough that you canât lose me.â
âYou are important, Kook. You areâŚâ You canât stop crying. Now he canât either. His tears mingle with your own.Â
âMakes it feel like you love meâŚâ Jungkook sighs. Closes his eyes. âIâm glad you wanted to keep me. I donât care in what way. A friend? Itâs fine. Iâll take it. Iâm just so glad you did itâŚSo donât say sorry for doing it. Donât tell me you regret it.âÂ
Dear God, you donât know what to do. Why is he like this?Â
âBuâbutâŚâ You start.Â
âPlease donât. If youâre selfish then Iâm worse. I shouldâve confessed to you. But I didnât. Not be-because I was scared of rejection. God, I knew youâll reject me, but I was scared that itâll make you go away from my life forever. So, donât, Noona. Please donât. â Jungkook begs. Oh, itâs a sweet temptation. An easy way out. Youâve been taking easy way outs for too long though. Heâs hurt and he wants an easy way out too. Heâs drunk too. But youâre not. You have to choose the hard way.Â
âBut itâs so fucked up, Jungkook.â So you pull your shit together. Not trying to pull away from him but keeping your voice steady. âItâs not fair to you. You need to have your own life. Trust me I never enjoyed keeping you away from a part of your life. I didnât. I justâI know you wonât believe me but I really do love you, Kookieââ
âNonononoâŚ.â Jungkook whimpers. Like a kicked puppy. âDonât say it. Donât say you love me, and then you love him moreâŚIâI do-donât wanna hear it. I donât care, Noona. I donât give a fuck. Fair or not. Just donât leave. I donât know how itâd be without you. I know I get mad sometimes and I give you a hard timeâŚI know I got mad when you said you wanna have the baby. Iâm so sorry. Iâm sorry, babyâŚâ
âJungkook please donâtââ
âJimin can live here too, you know.â He suddenly pulls away from you, sniffling. âI knâŚow I donât like him but I canâŚumâŚtolerate him. Yeah.â A series of firm nods. âI totally can. Just donât fuck in front of me, that would be awful. Itâll hurt so bad and, andââ
âJungkookâŚJungkook.. Hey!â You lace your fingers together. You have to ground him. Heâs visibly losing it. âListen to me, okay?âÂ
âNo, I donât wanna listen, I just want you to listen to me.â He brings both your hands up to his lips. You shudder at the feeling of his wet lips on your skin. A gentle kiss. Then another. âJust donât leave. I donât want to be alone. Promise I wonât bother you. Iâll justâjustâŚâ He keeps your hands pressed into his lips. Your body is trembling with sobs. You want to console him. You want someone to teach you how to do it.Â
âKookieâŚâ You drag in a shaky breath. âYou know I canât do that.âÂ
âBut you can. Why canât you? Please...â He rests his forehead against your hands this time. Youâre scared heâll fall into his knees. âI donât want anything else. You donât have to love me. I know youâll never love me.â Then he pauses. His eyes open wide as he regards you curiously. As if he just saw you standing here. âWill you?â Then blurts. âWould you love me if it wasnât for Jimin? Would it have been me if you woke up in my bed? Would youâwould you have chosen me if I got to you first? What if we meet in another life? Will you choose me?âÂ
You bite your lower lip to stop the trembling. His questions get you going still for a second. Oh, how selfish the questions are. How unfair? How rude? How are you ever gonna answer it? Because you canât imagine a life without Jimin. This or in another. So, you just gape at Jungkook. Helpless.Â
âCâmonâŚâ Jungkook breaks. âLie at least. Lie to me, Noona. Say you will!âÂ
âIâm so sorry!â You free your hands from his grip so you can throw them around his neck. âIâm so sorry, Kookie. Iâm so fucking sorry.â He lets you do what you want. Simply hides his face in your neck, though it makes him bends down.Â
âYouâre so mean, Noona. So, fucking mean,â His tears wet your neck. Still you hold him close, tangling your fingers in his hair.Â
âI know, Iâm so sorry.â You say the only thing you know.Â
âI donât even know why I love you when youâre such a mean person.â Jungkook keeps sobbing into you. You sob harder than him. There is the word. Love. Finally an acknowledgment. You tighten your grip on his hair. Apologize again. Again and again. Until you feel dizzy. Until you canât hold Jungkook in place anymore. Until he becomes too heavy. Thatâs only when you slowly withdraw from him, peering at his puffy face.
âLetâs talk in the morning, hm?â You wipe down his face with your palms.Â
âTalk what? Youâll still move out.âÂ
âI have to.âÂ
âYou donât,â Jungkookâs tears freshen. You jump to catch them before they fall.Â
âI do, Jungkook. I have to. Iâm pregnant. We canât keep living like this. Youââ You gulp. âCanât live like this. You need your own life.â
âYou are my life.â
âYouâll move on. Trust me.â You caress his cheek, fighting yourself not to cry again. âEven though you donât want to hear this, I do love you, KookieâŚI love you in my own way. And I hate when youâre in pain. I want you to be happy.â Jungkook tries to protest but you donât let him. âAnd I want to be a part of your life. I want to be able to walk in this house or anywhere else you chose to live like I do now. Even if youâve found your person. I want to be their best friend. IâI want you to visit me even if youâll fight with Jimin all the time. I donât want to lose you. Donât ever say youâre not important, Jungkook. Youâre so important to me that I chose to hurt both of us just to keep you. But thisâthis isnât gonna do us any good. I want you to be happy. I know youâre not in a shape to think things through right now. Letâs head to bed now, huh? Letâs talk in the morning?â You wait for his refusal. Surprisingly, though he nods.Â
Just a nod and you find yourself taking care of Jungkook. He shows no protests as you help him change his clothes, brush his teeth, wash his face and tuck him in his bed. He doesnât even say anything until the moment youâre finally about to leave him alone.Â
âWeâll do all that, you know?â Jungkook peers at you through red rimmed, puffy eyes. He looks adorable tucked in the bed. Just his head visible to you. Then he ruins it by taking his hand out to hold yours.Â
âDo what?â You ask softly.Â
âIâll keep being in your life. Even if you move out because I donât know how to live without my alien.â You chuckle softly at that. âIf you canât stay with me here, then Iâm unofficially moving in with you. Jimin can fuck off. Iâm gonna keep loving youââÂ
âJungââÂ
âNo, Noona. You canât do anything about it. Itâs just my choice.â
âAnd that choice will hurt you.â
âI donât care. I will love you until I canât anymore. If I find someone else and move in, then thatâd be my choice as well. Donât worry, Iâm not gonna cause you any problems. Iâll be just there. Promise me youâll be there too. Like you always had. Call me Kookie. Fight with me. Laugh with me. Like we always do.â You just smile at him. Full of sorrow. Oh, your Jeon Jungkook. You donât know how to make him understand. Your sweet Jungkook. Your stubborn Jungkook.Â
âYouâre an idiot.â You say with a cracked voice.Â
âI know.â He smiles. That adorable smile. His pearly white teeth on display and his black eyes glinting. âAnd Iâm gonna love this baby too.â He shifts in his position. Wiggling around like a worm until he manages to come closer to your stomach and he gently presses his hand to your tiny bump. Come to think of it, Jungkook has never petted your tummy. Hell, even Taehyung had. You never thought much of it but maybe it was because it hurt him. You blink back your tears, not wanting to cry again. Youâre already exhausted as it is. âI was so jealous, Noona. So jealous that she wasnât mine.â He caresses your tummy softly. So he thinks it's a girl too. Youâre too hurt to argue though. So, you just place your hand atop his. âI was hurt. I still donât want to let you go but if this is all I get, Iâll take it. Tell me youâll be the same. Want you to promise, Noona.âÂ
You just nod. No promises. Itâs too much. Feel easy but easy should mean selfish.Â
âPlease.â Jungkook apparently has no mercy on you. âPlease, Noona. You said you love me.â
Oh, this stupid littleâŚ. âI promise. Happy?â You glare at him. He stays unphased by it. Just smiles. Happy. Nods. Then goes back to lay down on the bed normally. Closes his eyes looking contended.Â
âI love you.âÂ
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
You stare at particularly nothing as Jimin pats your hair gently with a towel. Itâs been a week since the debacle with Jungkook. Staying true to his drunken ramblesâwhich you expected heâd forgotten but he hadnât, he started acting like youâre all good. But this time, you werenât confused as to what he was doing. You knew. You knew he was hanging onto a thread of hope desperately. If he acts like everything normal, then youâd stay. Jungkook is an idiot. And surprisingly amazing. You donât know how someone could persistently love another when they clearly know the ending will always be painful. He knows youâll never be his. Still, he chooses to love you.Â
Not fair!
Not fair!
Not fair at all!
âSpring Roll?â Jimin stops patting your wet hair. âWhatâs going inside your head? Still Jungkook?âÂ
You sigh. âI donât feel good, Jimin. You know, it feels like Iâm doing something wrong. I should move out quickly. I feel like Iâm making it worse.âÂ
âHe is not a kid, Lil. Iâm pretty sure he knows what heâs doing.âÂ
âHe is acting like nothing happened and that is scary.âÂ
âMaybe thatâs how he copes. Donât go so hard on him.âÂ
You turn your head around so fast that your neck cracks. âGosh I still canât wrap my head around this new Jimin. Like how come youâre so understanding and not jealous.âÂ
âI can be jealous when I want to, baby.â He crunches his eyes. Adorable. âBut câmon, Iâm going to be a dad. I have to be mature.âÂ
âYou mean act matured?âÂ
âYes. Act matured.â
You both fall into a fit of giggles. But it lasts too short when Jiminâs phone starts ringing.Â
âShit, itâs Jin Hyung.â He lets you know as an excuse why he has to take it. You simply nod and turn back around. Jimin doing his best to dry your hair with one hand. Youâve been on apartment inspections today and spilled coffee all over you. Hence the shower. At his place. This wonât be his place soon. Youâll be moving out the moment you find the right place. You sigh and rest your head on his knee. Youâre sitting on the floor. He is on the couch. âYes, Hyung. You can go ahead with it.â Jimin says to Jin over the phone. You keep one ear on the conversation.Â
The days have passed too fast. The week Liya gave you had already finished but nothingâabosolutely nothing has happened. Which is weird. Judging by the way Taehyung was panicking the day he came looking for you and accidentally spilled it all to Jungkook, you know the matter wasnât as simple as Jimin let you know. Yet somehow, everything remains calm. The launch is still happening within the period of two and a half months. You try not to think too hard. Instead youâve done your best to come up with an idea for a pitch which you have to hand over to Jin next week. You have a few more days to go but still got nothing. Youâre fucked up. Maybe you should just give up.Â
âNo, Hyung. We have no time for that. Ask Hobi Hyung to go through with the premier.â Jiminâs tone gets a pitch higher. Your ears perk up. Youâve never heard him talking sternly to his friends. Argue? Yes. Yelling? Sometimes yes. But heâd never used his CEO voice on them. Well, you havenât heard him use that voice ever. âI donât care Hyung. Weâre going through this.â Jiminâs hand pauses patting your hair dry. He sounds frustrated. âAnd what do you mean we still have no solid concept for visuals?â This time you freeze. Are they talking about the visuals you should be working on right now? âI need to see em next week. Noânope, thatâs it. Weâre doing this according to the plan.âÂ
Wow! You turn your head slightly to witness the frown between his brows. Youâve seen him work but not bossing around. Not this way at least. Not when heâs actually talking about work. AndâŚisnât it hot? Your teeth sink into your bottom lip unconsciously. It is hot.Â
âGet it done, Hyung.âÂ
Damn. Fuck he is good at his job. You feel a tiny tingle spread across your body.Â
âAnd make sure you organize that meeting.âÂ
Okay, fuck! You would let him fuck you for hours without no mercy.Â
Holy hell, whatâs wrong with you!
Maybe nothing. Youâre just a pregnant woman who finds everything about your man attractive. Maybe that is completely normal. And maybe you should do something about it. A smirk cracks on your face as you slowly turn around. Going on to your knees between his legs. Jiminâs attention falls back on you. Just curious. Not suspecting.Â
âPut on Taehyung for me.â He asks Jin as he raises a brow at you, questioning. You smile. Evil. Shake your head. âTaeâfuck!â Whatever he was going to say to Taehyung turns into an ugly curse when you lower your face to his crotch. Shamelessly. Your smirk widens when you hear Taehyungâs muffled voice from the other side of the call. You canât hear what he says but he sure doesnât sound happy. Jimin uses his free hand to pull your head up with your wet hair locks. âNo, not you Tae. I just-just stubbed my toe.â He lies to his best friend and gives you a look. In warning. You huff and make your way to untangle your hair from his grip. You give him an annoyed look before going back to rub your face in his crotch, a shiver runs through your body at how fast you feel him getting hard. âYes.â Jimin says to Taehyung, his hand coming back to your hair. You keep rubbing your face on his hardened member, over his black sacks.Â
âYe-yes, Tae..You can.â He stutters. You raise your head a little bit to see his brows furrowed, eyes boring holes on your skull and mouth a little agape. Youâre getting to him so well. Canât blame you for wanting to do more. You keep your eyes on him as you start peppering kisses on his now hardened member, straining against the pants. âN-NoâŚcourse not. Make sure you fi-fix that.â With a stutter he still manages to talk rationally. Well, you canât have that now, can you? Determined to have him completely ruined, you press your face again into his crotch. âFucking hellâŚâ It works. Jimin curses softly under his breath. But of course Taehyung hears that too. This time you hear his response as Jimin pulls away the phone from his ear and brings it into his lap.Â
âWhat the hell are you doing, dude? Stubbed your toe again?âÂ
You hide a smirk, raising your brow at Jimin as he stares at you in utter bewilderment. You sign at him to get back to his call. He puts it on the speaker
âNo⌠spilled my coffee." Jimin lies through his teeth again. You go back to continue your work. Kisses. Rubs. Kisses. Rubs. Until you grow tired of it and decide itâs time to do more. You donât wait for any permission as you start to unbutton his slacks. A fire running down your every nerve and making you bold as a devil.Â
âReally?â Taehyung questions. Before Jimin can answer though Jin butts in.Â
âI swear to god, if youâre having sex while on call with us Jiminââ
âYou should turn on the camera andââ Taehyung cuts off Jin.Â
âOh shut the fuck up!â Jin bellows and you think you hear a smacking sound followed by an annoyed growl from Taehyung. âIâm going to kill you, Park Jimin.â Jin continues his earlier threat.Â
âHell, Hyung no one is having seââ You choose that exact moment where Jimin is trying to defend himself to free his pretty, already hardened cock out of his slacks and wrap your lips tightly around his tip. âFuck! SexâŚâ Jiminâs hips buck up, thrusting into your mouth involuntarily. You use his cock in your mouth to muffle the desperate moan that slips out from you.Â
âOkay! Thatâs it. Iâm hanging up.â Jin shuffles around.Â
You peer at Jimin, shaking your head. A silent request not to finish the call. Whereâs the fun if they hang up. You want Jimin at your mercy, which happens very rarely. You want to see him struggle. Want to see him losing his senses.Â
âHyung, hyungâŚâ Jimin jumps in, surprising you. After all, you donât expect him to follow what you want him to do. Itâs just easy. Hang up the call if he wants. Youâll continue this anyway. But he doesnât. âLil distracted me. Sorry about that. Where were we?â He falls back into the important business talk they were having. You smile around him. Jin protests for a few more seconds, thoroughly convinced that something fishy is going on. Yet after Jimin almost snaps at him they start to talk about the matter at hand ignoring Taehyungâs pestering.Â
Or at least Jin does because every time you avert your eyes at Jimin heâs looking at you. Mouth hanging open. Breathing getting ragged. Teeth sinking on to his plump bottom lip so he wouldnât make it obvious to his friends. One of his hands has come to tangle on your hair. He doesnât push you, nor does he stop you. Just let you do whatever you want. So you do that. Swirling your tongue around his tip, taking him deep down your throat and keeping him warm and nice. Sucking him off like your life depends on it. Playing with his balls. Even pulling him out just so you can show him how soaked he is with your saliva. How he has ruined your face. Tears running down and spit pooling on your chin and trickling down. Just to put him back in your mouth after giving him hundred kitty licks all across his throbbing cock. Youâre sure you can go forever like this. Not even the pain in your knees is registering in your mind. And every time Jimin has to answer a question or give his opinion you get this insane urge to do even better.Â
âHalf of the media are gonna be there because of your scandal, not because of the launch.â Jin mindlessly expresses as Jiminâs grip on your hair tightens as you start sucking on his tip. His head falls back on the back rest. He grits his teeth. âJimin?â Jin suddenly yells, making you jump on your spot and Jimin sits straight back up.Â
âWhat?â He bellows. Completely disoriented.Â
âThis is really suspicious.â Taehyng butts in again. âVery unlike the Park Jimin I know. I mean the CEO Park Jimin. The Park Jimin I knew back on college howeverââÂ
âShut up Tae! I was listening.â Jimin snaps.Â
âOkay, what did I tell you just now?â Jin rustles some papers on the other side of the call, making it annoyingly loud.Â
âThat people are going to be there because of my scandal.â Jiminâs eyes fall back on you. You havenât pulled him out of your mouth yet. And heâs still hard as a steel. He gives you a look thatâs clearly asking or begging you to keep going. So, you do. This time harder. Sucking him into your mouth. Jimin bucks his hips up, hissing slightly. âWhich is good, Hyung. Sometimes, negative publicity can bring money too.â He manages to say to Jin at the same time. You stop sucking him momentarily. Hurt. Disappointed. You thought you had him completely at your mercy. Thought he was losing his mind inside your mouth. But he was listening to Jin? And he can think coherently?
Now, you absolutely canât have that. Youâll have to change it. Change is exactly what you do. You fall back to sucking him. Into a familiar rhythm. Reading every expression of his like a book. Even a tiny twitch of his hips and a gentle tug on your hair. You know him. Know when is the exact time you got him to the verge of eruption. So, you work hard to take him there. Slurpring on his twitching cock. Feeling him starting to lose control. Then, just as heâs about to shoot that load in your throat, you pull out.Â
Completely. Just a strand of saliva connecting your lips to his cock. Jiminâs entire body goes rigid for a second. Then he closes his eyes in pure agony. The hand he kept on your hair immediately goes to warp around his cock. Yet he doesnât jerk him off, just squeeze himself before opening his eyes, glancing at you. Eyes which are glassy. Beautiful. Looks like sin. Your Park Jimin.Â
You raise a cocky brow at him before standing up. He stares at you in pure bewilderment. Jin and Taehyung are still mindlessly talking about hundred different ways how launch is going to get fucked up. Jimin isnât listening to any of that anymore. Gaping at you like a kid who just got his favourite toy snatched away from him. You smirk. Take a step back. Then another. And another. Until the back of your knees meet the arm chair across the couch. Thatâs when you stop and implement your next plan. You grab the hem of your T-shirt, which is originally his but youâve claimed it as yours. You take the advantage of having nothing underneath the piece of cotton and just pull it over your head, revealing your naked body. Tiny baby bump and all.Â
It should be funny how his eyes darken and breath hitches even though heâs seen you naked countless times by now. Even in non sexual contexts. Yet it happens. Park Jimin almost gets to his feet, as if he just got bewitched. Lost all damn control and forgot his surroundings. Like an animal driven by instincts. The good thing though, you are the one who bewitched him. Youâre the one who casted the spell so you know how to control it. Youâre the one who holds the leash of that animal. So, just a look from you stops him from moving. He sits still. Eyes burning holes on your naked figure as you sit back on the arm chair.Â
âWe need to make sure that theyâŚâÂ
Jinâs voice flows monotonously around the living room, not reaching either of you. Just cutting through the air thatâs filled with anticipation. You keep your eyes on Jimin as you sit comfortably and slowly start to spread your legs. Each one thrown over the arm rest. Jimin closes his eyes slightly before reopening them so hastily as if he canât bear to miss a second of this moment. With a slight tug in a corner of your mouth, you dip your hand between your legs. From there you waste no more time as you start to swirl your fingers over your clit. Moving them over your slit, spreading the wetness all over. Drawing figure eights and doing your utmost best to keep any noises at bay. Your eyes are still on Jimin. Never leaving his fiery gaze. He has started to pump himself. Almost as if heâs doing it even without his own knowledge. As if he doesnât know what heâs doing.Â
Great! Just what you wanted. So, you take it up a step more. You sneak your middle finger inside your dripping entrance. Gasping. And Jimin breaks down. His pretense forgotten. Â
âFucking hell!â He grabs his phone. âIâll call you later guys.â Hangs up the call. Cutting down Taehyung who was probably saying something important. Throws away the phone. The fire in his eyes has reached to a level that it has made his eyes pitch black. The needy look on his face turned into a feverish level. Now he truly looks like an animal. Yet instead of an obedient one, this one might lash upon you anytime. You know you pushed a button too far. So the leash you held drops from your hands. He picks it up. âWell, why did you stop?â Jimin raises a brow, making you realize that you have, indeed, stopped whatever youâve been doing. The finger you pushed inside is just resting there. âKeep going, Love. I was enjoying the show.â Jimin returns to pumping his cock again. You do the same. Pumping your finger inside you. Legs still spread wide, giving him a perfect view of your dripping pussy.Â
âMake it two fingers.â Jimin orders, squeezing his shaft. âStretch it for me, Love.â Adds. Oh, youâve lost control of the situation completely. Silly of you to even think that itâd work. Youâre just a puddle under his gaze. Itâs with a shudder that you comply with him. You force your index finger inside you together with the middle. âLike thatâŚsuch a good girl for me, arenât you, baby?â Jimin picks up his pace. âWanna cum like this?â Asks as he does. âWatching each other?âÂ
You moan in answer, not knowing what you want. Itâd be hot. Cuming while watching him jerk off to you. But then you want him to do more. Touch. Play. Fuck. Yeah definitely that. Fuck you. You need it. âWa-want youâŚâ You croak. Such a flip from your earlier behavior. Jimin chuckles.Â
âYeah? How do you want me?âÂ
âIn-inside me.â You pump your fingers faster. Trying to scratch an itch that you canât reach.Â
âAdd a third finger.â Jimin barks out, ignoring your request. You just do as he says without any further questions.Â
âPlease!â Your back arches. Yet even with three fingers still you seem incapable of reaching what you want.Â
âYou want me inside you?â Jimin slows down the speed heâs playing with his cock. âYou need to be more specific than that, baby. What exactly do you need inside you? My fingers? Tongue?â He stops touching his cock.Â
âCock!â You gasp, clenching around your own fingers. Shameless. Embarrassingly so. Yet youâve stopped caring a long time ago. Jiminâs smirk widens. He gets to his feet slowly. In the grace of the predator reaching its prey. As if scared of the upcoming attack and wanting to keep the beast entertained, you keep moving your fingers inside you relentlessly. Jimin stops once he reaches you. Bends down, placing his hands near your calves on the armrests.Â
âGood girl!â Mumbles. Just an inch away from your face. âUsing your words.â He brings a hand to cradle your cheek. Then he drops the same hand to your inner thighs. âSo good for me.â Keep mumbling. His breath fanning your lips. A silent invitation for you to crush them against him. Only to be failed when he denies you by titling his head back. âPatience.â Clicks his tongue, eyes momentarily dropping down to see the way three fingers of you keep disappearing inside you. âHow do you want my cock, Lil? Here? Want me to just fuck you?â Then asks arrogantly.Â
âWhat do you ha-haveâ fuckâ in your mind?â You do your best to soothe the undying fire inside you. This time he gifts you with a peck.Â
âHmmmâŚletâs seeâŚI have an unfulfilled promise I made to you.â He rubs soothingâwhich are doing exactly opposite of soothingâcircles on your inner thigh. You watch him expectantly, brows furrowed. âSo, I have an image of feeding you my cum in my mind.â You shiver, almost scratching that itch all by yourself. Just at his words. Almost though. What makes you moan and pull your fingers out before you cum is what leaves his mouth next. âWith my mouth.âÂ
âHoly fuck, Jimin!â You pull your fingers out immediately, not wanting to just cum by yourself.Â
âYou like that?â Jimin replaces your fingers. Just graze his forefinger over your sensitive clit, making you shiver. Tremble. All you can muster is a croaked cry. âThat a yes?â He asks again. âWords, Princess. You know I need words.â
âYeâyesâŚ.â You rest your forehead against him. âGod! Fuck yesâŚâ Breathe out.Â
âGood!â He exclaims, flicking his finger back and forth on your nub. âWant me to take you here? OrâŚâ A peck to your lips. âShall we try something new?âÂ
âNew?â You inquire, equally excited and impatient. Honestly, you donât care. Would be just glad even if he takes you right then.Â
âWant me to tie you up?â Jimin pulls away from you, a teasing smirk adorning his lips. Your breath hitches. Excitement and arousal courses through your veins like liquid fire, rendering you speechless and just gasping. You havenât tried that before. Of course you havenât, you had a sex life that was drier than Sahara. Jimin was the first one who had awakened the depraved beast inside you. You donât know if getting tied down is your thing. But youâll never know unless you donât try. Judging by the way your empty hole is clenching around nothing and your body is in literal ablaze, you guess the answer would be a loud yes. Youâre gonna like it. And you canât wait.Â
âPleaseâŚâ You hold on to his wrist. Dearly. As if that would help you find your sanity. Jiminâs smirk morphs into a wide grin. Still amused. Still teasing.Â
âGood girl! Get up!âÂ
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
Jimin secures the silk tie around your wrists. One corner around your wrists and the other on the bed post, leaving you in an awkward angle on the bed but you donât mind that a bit. Too occupied by the hunger inside you. Hunger for him. Hunger thatâs insatiable. Jimin works briskly as he finishes the last knot. He gives a tug at the tie making sure that itâs secured tightly and you have no escape.Â
âTry moving.â He orders. You follow that without a blink, tugging at the restraints keeping you tied to the bed. You only manage to move your hands just an inch before the silk garment stops you. Jimin hums in satisfaction. âWeâll leave your legs untied huh?â He creates space between your bodies so he could rub your legs, already parted and bent for him. You nod absentmindedly. Whatever he wants, youâll be happy with that. âDo you want it rough?â He asks again, completely moving away from you and making you mourn the loss of his warmth. He starts stripping. Removing his clothes one by one. You roam your hungry gaze over his chiseled abs, like youâre seeing him naked for the first time. Will he ever stop making you feel amazed? No. He wonât. Youâll always be a little puddle whenever youâre with him. Youâll always look up at him with wonder in your eyes. âLil?â Jimin calls out, making you snap your eyes to his face from his abs.Â
You moan in answer. No longer registering anything heâs saying but burning in and out. The fact that youâre tied up and at his mercy is doing something dangerous to your body. Or maybe itâs just him. Youâve always been crazy around him. Whatever the reason is youâre already impatient, your desire already pooling between your legs like a broken faucet. Jimin stops removing his clothes for a second and eyes you in wonder. âHoly fuck, youâre already cock drunk. I havenât even done anything yet.â He mumbles in awe.Â
Wrong, heâs done a lot of things to you. You cry out in need. âHurryâŚpleaseâŚâ The restraints dig at your skin as you try to move your hands. Fail. Oh, this is going to be fun.Â
âYeah?â Jimin steps out of his pants, then boxers, standing in front of you in all his glory. âYouâll get it, Princess. But I want to know if youâd want it rough?âÂ
âI always love it rough.â You force yourself to forget the throb of your clit and pay attention.Â
Jimin chuckles. Climbs up on the bed, settling himself back between your thighs. âWhatâs our safe word?â Asks instead of acknowledging your comment. Another moan slips through you before you answer him.Â
âR-red?âÂ
âGood girl!â Jimin places his weight on one arm, using the other to align his throbbing cock with your soppy entrance. âAnd youâll use it if it gets too much, yeah?â Questions again, his eyes boring into yours as he nudges his length against your hole. You nod furiously, once again all the senses leaving your mind. Anticipation bubbling up inside you like a volcano. All you can focus on is the way he is about to enter you. The little teasing nudges heâs giving you. Making you so impatient that your hips start trying to get more friction by bucking up. In vain of course. Jimin curses slowly. âSo fucking needy for me.â He grits. Yet presses his dick inside you a little.Â
âYes! Please⌠more.. Jimin!â Your back arches even at that tiniest of friction.Â
âDammit! Donât do that,â Jimin forces more of him inside you. Stretching you. His length dragging across your sensitive walls. âIâll fucking lose it, Lil. Donât wanna hurt you.âÂ
âYouâllâneânever hurt me anyway.â You stare at his face, hips still involuntarily trying to get more of him. Trying to get him to be buried deeper inside you. Jimin suddenly stops. His hips still. You look at him in alert as he just gapes at you. The dark flurry of lust in his eyes momentarily fading away and leaving a softness thatâs nothing but just pure adoration. He smiles softly.Â
âYeah.. neverâŚâ He admits softly. Then with a shuddering breath pushes his hips forward, bottoming out inside you fully. A sound torn between a moan and a scream escapes you as your arms tugs at the silk tie harshly.Â
âFuck, Jimin!â You gasp, looking at his eyes which have gone back to a dark mist of lust.Â
âPlaning to do just that.â He mostly mumbles to himself before giving you a shallow thrust. âLike that? You want me to fuck you like that?â Asks in a such hoarse voice that your eyes almost roll to the back of your head.Â
âYes, yes, yesâŚâ You whimper mindlessly. âHarder.âÂ
âHarder? Such a needy slut, baby. Arenât you? A needy slut for me?â He picks up speed. âInsatiable.â You donât answer him, getting lost in the pleasure with every thrust. With every graze of his tip over your soft spot. You only moan. Moan and moan. Only a partial word of pleas and begs leaving you as Jimin slowly but surely starts to pound into you. Soon pushing your legs higher up, bending you almost in half. Going to his knees so he could fuck you harder. Deeper. Reaching spots that leave you reeling. Crying.Â
âFuck, noâŚgodâŚâ You babble. Hands already aching to be released. To touch him. Feel him. âWanna touch you. Wanna touch you! Please, please, pleaseâŚâ You try your best to get them free, only causing the tie to dig deeper into your wrists.Â
âToo bad, baby. Youâre not supposed to.â Jimin croaks. âYouâre supposed to just take it, hm.â He reaches one hand to your face. Cupping your face and squeezing your cheeks. âYouâre supposed to be my good slut and take it.â Gives your face a not so gentle shake. âTake it, yeah? Be good. Keep your eyes open. On me.â Commands. Starts driving into you even harder if itâs possible. âAnd youâre supposed to cum hard on my cock. Will you do that for me? Cum hard for me?âÂ
Even those words are enough to make you do just that. You clench around him tightly, a coil forming and tightening inside your lower abdomen rapidly.Â
âYes..Fuck, yes. So close.â You buck your hips desperately, not being able to control the damn need inside you.Â
âCum, baby. Cream my cock.â Jimin takes his hand back just to pinch your clit. âCum like a good slut for me. Go on⌠fucking hell, youâre so good for me. Cum for me, princess.â Starts rubbing your bundle of nerves in time with his brutal thrusts. âYou have no idea how good you feel, Lil. Câmon, need you to soak my cock. Cum!âÂ
Like that, your body listens to him like always. You go taut for a split second as that coil inside you snaps. Then there comes the violent shudders that get your body trembling like a leaf caught in the wind. Your back arches and leaves the bed like a bow. Your scream gets tangled in your throat making it a silent cry. You lose the sense of reality. White appears behind your eyelids as your body continues to tremble, tremble, and tremble. Jimin drags that tremble out as much as possible. Pounding into you. Then rocking into you. Until you finally drive off that orgasm that leaves you breathless and aching.Â
âYou good?â He asks as he gently moves in and out of you. You nod. In a complete haze. Jimin smirks. âWant more?â Asks but doesnât wait for any answers. Even before you can catch your breath from the mind blowing orgasm, he starts to thrust into you harder again.Â
âJiminâŚfuckâŚJiââ You gasp, raising you head to get a look at where heâs meeting your body. The sensitivity makes your thighs jerk. You need a minute. To breathe fully. For your body to recover. He doesnât give you that. And in your pleasure induced mind, you fail to word that out properly. Even your tongue got tied. âHoly fuâfuâŚck, JiminâŚcanâtâŚâ Thatâs all that leaves your lips. Your body writhing and wrists aching painfully as you tug at the silk tie still keeping them bound above your head.Â
âYes you can!â Jimin pulls out almost all the way out before slamming back inside you, making you reel and cry out. âYou're gonna take me, baby. Gonna take me like the good slut you are.â He does that again. Pulling out slowly then slamming back in.Â
âPlease!â You sob.Â
âPlease what?â Jimin does that again. Again. And again. âWords, baby, words. Tell me what you need? Want me to stop?â He starts pounding into you again. With no mercy at all. Your sobs turn into gasps. For a second you think you want him to stop but then soon that fire is building up inside you again.Â
You donât want him to stop.Â
Fuck, itâs too much.
You will cum again.
Maybe, he should stop.Â
No, no, no. It would be such a shame to stop.Â
But you canât take it. But thenâŚ
âFuck!â You scream yet again as your second orgasm hits you out of nowhere. This one lasts longer than the previous.Â
âThere you go, baby. Like thatâŚyeahâŚgood girlâŚsuch a good girl for meâŚâ Jimin coaxes you. His voice is sickly sweet. It pours over you like molten lava. âYouâll give me one more huh, princess? Câmon!â Jimin spreads your trembling legs wider. You know he wouldâve changed your position if it wasnât for the fact that your hands are tied up. Maybe heâs too greedy. Too greedy to have you any other way. The look on his face is proof enough that you sprawled out beneath him, hands tied, is the most beautiful thing heâs ever seen. âDammit youâre so gorgeous. Give me one more baby.âÂ
âNoâŚâ You wail. The rigorous movements of your hands turn into a weak struggle. Itâs starting to hurt now. Your wrists. Your shoulders. Upper arms. Yet you would give him all the much he needs. Youâd cum for him again and again. Give any amount of orgasms he demands if he keeps looking at you like that. Like youâre the only star in a black sky. Like youâre the only flower in a barren land. Like he canât get enough. You love it when he canât get enough. When he demands more and more. You need a minute though. Too sensitive to take another vicious orgasm again. Just a minuteâŚÂ
Jimin groans as he holds on to your thighs, fucking into you with all he has. His eyes snap toward your sloppy cunt, taking his cock despite the sensitivity. âYou can, baby⌠fuck, I want you to.â He squeezes his eyes shut as though looking for strength. His words cause your body to reignite the fire of lust within. You grit your teeth willing yourself to battle the sensitivity.Â
Itâs not that you have to force yourself, however. Jimin would never do that. You have a safe word after all. He said he wanted you to use it earlier. And you know the moment your lips would curl around the letter ârâ, heâd stop. Entirely. Not going to happen tonight. In a sick way you love how heâs demanding more. Pushing you more. Further and further. Like heâs curious to know when youâd snap. Maybe you are too. Curious. To know where youâll draw the line.Â
Certainly not here. Not as you begin to raise your hips to meet his thrusts again. Your entire body begins to chase another high. Insatiable. The fire inside you is burning too hot. Seeking more. Youâre starting to get tunnel vision at this rate. The room around you fading away into a blurry black as the only thing that remains is him. Park Jimin. Your Park Jimin. And you need more of him. Everything. Itâs like in a dream how you wide open your mouth, tongue out. Jimin catches your movement. His eyes go wide for a second before he loses the threads of his control. Finally. No longer being able to pull the strings but becoming a puppet himself.Â
âFucking hell, youâre going to kill me, baby. Fuck, Iâm gonna fucking explode.â He bends down, pulling your legs over his shoulders. Takes a minute gaping at your eyes and the open mouth. Then with another growl lets down a trail of spit out of his mouth into yours directly. You moan as you swallow everything down and reopen your mouth to show him that youâve been a good girl. Jimin whimpers. Doing it again. âYeah like that⌠swallow princess. Youâre so good to me. So tight⌠squeeze my cock baby. Like that.â Filthy praises pour out of his lips. He spits on your mouth again and this time forcing that third orgasm through you.Â
Itâs as if youâve lost consciousness. A minute of blackening out because when the trembles and the blinding pleasure waves out of your body, and you find the ability to see things, Jimin has changed positions. Heâs completely hovering above you now. Hell youâve even locked him in place with your legs wrapped around his waist. He bores into your eyes the moment you open them. His eyes are glossy. Like heâs drugged. Brows furrowed. Beautiful. Always ethereal. Your fingers itch to caress his cheek. Lips. Tangle in his blonde locks.Â
âJiminâŚâ You whine, as he keeps fucking into you. The wet sounds of him meeting you, echoing inside the room so loudly.Â
âDammit, baby⌠youâre so pretty.â Jimin says in answer to your whine. Heâs being mindful not to crush you under his weight. âYou did so good for me, Lil. Iâm close. Hold on for me.âÂ
âWannaâpleaseâŚtouch youâŚâ You babble.
âNot yet.â Jimin shifts his weight into one arm and uses the other to grab your cheeks. âSo close baby. Keep your eyes on me.â His hips snap against you relentlessly. âYouâre gorgeous, Love. Fuck, you are.â Heâs babbling too. Mindlessly mumbling as his eyes are lost in yours. âI love you, you know. Goddammit I love you so fucking much.â Jimin tilts his face, proceeding to kiss the tears rolling on your cheeks, making you realize that youâre crying. Not new. Youâve cried because of the intense pleasure before though apparently it doesnât make it any less hot for Jimin. He whimpers, tasting your tears. âBaby.â Another moan teared between a growl.
âI know.â You croak. âI love you more.âÂ
âSay it again.âÂ
âI love you so damn much, Jimin.â You wrap your legs tighter around him, wanting him as close as possible. Trying to make up for the fact that you canât touch him. Despite the three mind blowing orgasms you had, the desperation for him is getting stronger and stronger. You lift your head up so you could hide it in his neck, peppering kisses. Inhaling him. He robs you of that chance when he goes back to stare into your eyes. His eyes sparkle. Hundred different emotions swirling in them. You try to read them. For a second you think you see yearning. Longing. Or maybe is that fear? For what though? So you conclude itâs just affection. Affection that he canât express enough through his words.Â
âYou have no idea, Lil. You have no fucking idea.â He mumbles. Just mindless babbling. His rhythm is getting faltered, letting you know that heâs about to lose it.Â
âI do.â You moan though you donât know what heâs referring to. Love? You donât care anyway. You think you do know. He smiles. Soft. So in fond.Â
âYeah? You do?â Asks but doesnât wait for another confirmation. Simply focuses on thrusting into you as you fight your sensitivity. âSo close, baby. Gonna cum.âÂ
âPlease.â You beg, bucking your hips up to meet his thrusts. Feeling another coil twisting inside your guts with every irregular thrusts. Heâs close. So is he making you close again. âPleaseâŚshit please.âÂ
âYes..fuck! ThereâŚbaby. Iâm almostâŚtheââ Jiminâs words get lost in between his clenched teeth as he finally slams inside you one last time. A warmth spreads across your inside just as another tingle gets hold of your body. You arch your body, pressing your chest more and more into him as Jimin continues to spill inside you. His cock twitching. Itâs after what feels like hours when you finally fall back into the bed, limp and spent. Jimin stays on top of you for a few seconds to catch his breathing, being mindful not to crush you before reaching to the knot that holds you tied to the bed post. With one expert tug he loosens the tie. A groan escapes you as you move your hands down feeling as if theyâre no longer a part of your body but a foreign weight that you donât know how to use.Â
âYou okay?â Jimin withdraws from you to take in your expression and one of his hands starts rubbing your shoulder. You hum in reply. Not being completely lucid yet. âLil? Baby?â Jimin asks again. You watch the way he furrows in concern.Â
âYes, Park. Iâmââ You take a second then giggle. âIâm great.â Creases of worry disappear from his face following your giggle.Â
âI can see that now.â Jimin remarks as he goes into his knees again, pulling out of you and spreading your legs wider to feast on the sight of you battered cunt on display. You let out a half hearted protest of embarrassment which he disregards. His still glossy eyes darken again. âOh, fuck.â He curses softly. Still panting. Still red in the face. âYou look fucking gorgeous." He comments so casually and so seriously as if heâs not staring at your most intimate area that you almost shut your legs close.Â
âJimin!â You whine in complaint.
âWhat?â He raises a brow at you. âYou are.â Says and goes back to staring at your pussy. You can feel the wetness seeping out of you. âSqueeze.â He orders. You look at him with wide eyes. He takes one look at your confused face. âSqueeze all the cum out baby, I have to feed you them, donât I?â The most devious kind of smirk pulls on his lips as he proceeds to lower his face toward your spent core. Your first instincts are to protest and to say that youâve changed your mind but youâre already too late as Jimin lunges at you without wasting another second. His tongue laps at you once before he wraps his lips around your clit then drags his mouth down and slurps in. Loudly. So loud that the noise travels directly from your ears to your core, reigniting that fire.Â
âFuck, Jimin.â You writhe in your spot as Jimin pulls away from your sensitive pussy, coming to hover your figure once more. His lips sealed shut. Eyes sparkling with mischief. The fire coils inside you once more, making you gasp, involuntarily open your mouth. He steals that opportunity to press his lips into yours. Itâs just a peck at first. Almost innocent. Then he parts his lips, pushing his tongue inside your mouth together with the remnants in his mouth. The salty taste of his cum invades your taste buds in an instant, making you moan like bitch in heat. Despite the fact that you just came too many times and he fucked the senses out of you.Â
Jimin, however, seems utterly pleased with your reaction as he withdraws and watches you with eyes full of a gleam that you canât decide whether to be lust or exhaustion. âGood girl!â He praises for the millionth time. âWant more?â Asks. You only manage to nod before heâs back between your legs. Lips curling around your entrance. Slurping. Then coming back to feed you everything. Then going back. You whimper as he almost dips his head back in your still dripping core when a vibration right next to your ear makes him pause. You turn your head to find his phone, which somehow has found its way to the bed ringing. Taehyungâs name flashing on the screen.Â
âItâs Tae.â You let Jimin know.Â
âIgnore it.â He clicks his tongue, proceeding to continue his work but the ringing ends and a message pops up. Then another. And another. And more and more.Â
âWhat the fuck,â You curse in annoyance as you grab the phone just as it starts ringing again. âMaybe itâs urgent.â You interrupt Jimin by holding his phone toward him.Â
âFor fuckâs sake!â Jimin sits back, a scowl adorning his face. Yet he answers the phone, putting it on speaker again. âBusy Tae, Iâll call youââ
âWill you fucking turn on the goddamn news.â Taehyung doesnât allow Jiminâs words to leave his mouth properly. You sit back slowly. Wearing a similar kind of scowl to Jimin but for entirely different reasons. The worry in Taehyungâs voice is prominent. Something isnât right.Â
âWhat? Why?â Jimin questions back. This time not so annoyed but worried and intrigued.Â
âYouâre asking why?â Taehyung barks from the other side of the line. âWeâre fucked, Jimin. Thatâs why. Sent you the link. Check it out.âÂ
Oh, you donât like links. You donât like when someone is talking about a link this worriedly. Jimin quietly opens the message app and locates the said link. He seems worried though calm compared to how Taehyung is obviously losing his shit. You scoot closer to him to peer at his phone screen. Jimin clicks on the hideous looking jumble of words.Â
Oh, please donât be another video of you and Jimin having sex.
You bunch up your fists without realizing it as the link opens into a webpage.Â
Kim Group Chairman Accused in Illegal Weapons Investigation
Kim? As in Liyaâs father?
âNo. Fuck, fuck what? How?â Jimin mumbles as he skims through the article. Then he opens a new tab to search for it himself. Typing frantically the name Kim and Kim group. You gape at it. Lost. Utterly completely lost. Your brain is falling to catch up on whatâs happening.Â
âMy question exactly?â This time itâs Hoseokâs voice that comes through. âIâm guessing it wasnât you.â Hoseok adds.
âCourse not.â Jimin mumbles but this time less frantically. Going through one article after another. Fast forwarding through videos. You watch as the surprise and the confusion on his face ease a little. As if he remembers something.Â
âThen who the hellâhowâI mean only we knew.â Jin bellows over the line too, almost making you flinch. You donât understand whatâs happening. But for one thing, you know itâs not good. An illegal weapon dealing? Mr. Kim? You donât think youâve seen the right thing.Â
âWhat about Joon?â Teahyungâs voice comes through the phone again. And you vaguely hear Hoseok practically snaps at him for even thinking that. You donât pay attention to the ruckus happening on the other side of the line. You just watch Jimin. You might not know the full disclosure. It feels like reading a book without the first pages. Simply you canât grasp the full idea of it. Of Mr. Kim getting tangled in an illegal business. Or him going down. Looks like itâs what is happening, though. Considering all the articles Jimin just skimmed through. All the news he just watched. Kim is doomed. That meansâŚ.
Theyâre doomed too.Â
The new launch is doomed.
R.U.N is doomed.Â
With Mr. Kim, Jimin are doomed as well.Â
You feel your heart squeeze painfully. Itâs as if youâve been trapped in a fever dream and the reality suddenly crashes in. A shudderâthis time from a strange fear, runs through your body at the same time Jimin slowly whispers. âLiya.â He says almost inaudibly. For a second you think no one heard him but there comes Jinâs voice.Â
âWhat did you say?â He inquires with no warmth in his voice.Â
âIâumâlisten, Hyung, I didnât think sheâdâŚâ Jimin scrambles into his feet, completely disregarding the fact that heâs still butt naked. His voice almost doesn't reach your ears as he starts pacing around. âI just wanted to get her out of Lilâs back, IâŚâÂ
What?Â
In that half a second the fever dream comes back to you. The rest of the world fades away as you watch Jimin. He becomes the only thing in your world. Not in a good way though. Instead of seeing his ethereal beauty, this time you see the pain. Fear. Guilt. Worry. As if youâve suddenly been given a super vision to zero on in every little detail. You see the panic in his eyes. See the lines of worry. See a man whoâs about to crumble down. Not your Park Jimin. And did he say he didâwhatever he didâto make sure Liya doesnât threaten you anymore?Â
So, thatâs why you didnât hear from her again. Why everything remained calm. This is how he said heâd take care of it? Be prepared? You still donât know whatâs actually happened. Have no idea how youâve got to this point. But clearly all these things are happening because of you.Â
Fuck, you feel nauseous.Â
âSo you fucking gave her the only bargaining chip we had?â Someone yells through the phone.Â
Fuck, you feel like your head is spinning.Â
Jimin is trying to talk through his friends' voices. Disappointed, raged, voices full of disbelief. Jimin looks wrecked. Youâre certain you can see his hands trembling.Â
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
Your Jimin is about to crumble down. All because of you. And the worst part? Thereâs nothing you could do to help. Youâre helpless. Youâre only good for causing problems. Thatâs what youâve been doing ever since you came into this world. Causing problems to Jimin. Ruining his life. And dragging everyone else with him. Thereâs not a single soul thatâs happy anymore. Jimin. Liya. Jungkook. Taehyung. Jin. Hoseok. Seoyeon. You⌠Not a single person. You ruined everything. All because you are too greedy. You have been warned multiple times. To let go. Do the right thing. Take that step back and let these people live their lives peacefully. But no. You had to ruin it. You thought the punishment for being too greedy would be you turning into dust. Maybe thatâs not the case after all. Maybe, this is a better punishment.Â
Seeing Jimin get ruined. In front of your very eyes but not being able to do a damn about it. Maybe this is your real punishment.Â
Hiii, I've been wanting to know, how have you been, author? And I want to ask if youâre still going to complete the Another Universe series.đ
Hii lovely!! Thank you so much for this ask and Iâve been okay? I guess. I mean Iâm alive but I think Iâm still burned out. Itâs getting better tho. Thank you for thinking of me. Means a lot đâ¤ď¸. And ofc yes darling Iâd never leave the story unfinished. Even if it takes years and all of you abandon it, (I really do wish you wouldnât do that) (please donât do that), Iâll still finish it. Thatâs my first baby. My first ever work as an author or so I want to finish it. In fact, Iâm so close to finishing the newest chapter. I only have to write one more scene so I hope Iâd be able to upload it soon. I hope youâll enjoy it. And Iâd be finishing the series soon too. Thank you again for the love and support sweets â¤ď¸đš
Girl you need to make more yandere jungkook fanfictions , Iâm literally obsessed with your work
Hey love!!! God trust me I really do want to make more yandere fics. I have a few ideas in my head. Do you only read yandere jk or would you like a Tae fic? I badly want to write a Tae fic but only if I had time tho. But Iâm doing my best. So as soon as I manage to finish the next IAU chapter Imma write a new Yandere fic so Iâd feel like I still got this. đĽ˛. Anyway thank you so much for reading the story lovely đĽšđЎ Iâm so happy to know there are new readers who are still reading and enjoying my work every day. Hereâs to the yandere jk đť
@chateautae :- (high- class series got me hooked like anything T T, can we js talk about your efforts?? Like dude... Hands off.đđťđđť Long ass chaps I love 'em, how eloquently you wrote them all is absolutely commendable. I keep rereading all your tae fics. the smut? Hawt afđ the way you portray your characters meticulously*blowing kisses*. The love, fluff and angst, ALMOST EVERYTHING SCREAMS PERFECTION *mwah mwah* Lots of love. Looking forward for your upcoming work/s.âĄ
@icedmatchatae:-( GLIMPSE OF US omg that fic!!! It has my heart. And it hurts knowing it is a cliffhanger now, Everytime I read, I eyes end up sweatingđ, please grace us all with your update. I begđĽş.All of your fics are lit though!đđť)
@craztextae:- gosh... Your "creep tae fic" got me all hot and bothered istgđthat was so fucking hot ngl. The way u wrote and all that shi. I MEAN DILF KIM FUCKING TAEHYUNG?? I'm already on my kneesđ
@jingabitch:- "DON'T ASK, DON'T TELL" how you even came up w that concept?? My mind was utterly blown. The way you wrote and expressed everyone's pov and characters damn articulately is applaudable âĄ
@flurrys-creativity :- omfg. You won't even fathom how much LIKE HOW MUCH I love "wabi-sabi" fic,
this is my FIFTH time rereading it đđ, *no I'm not ashamed or embarrassed đ*
it deserves ton shi of attention and love. Clearly an underrated gem. I'm still waiting for the drabbles though đĽşđđťđđť
@peoniesnro:- MAN,, she's amazing with her plots and her writing style and definitely knows how to lull readers in. She deserves more fr.đˇ
now, Can we talk about "CLOSURE"?!! Love how you made a sequel and gave us all a damn happy ending!!đ angel!! Angel you'ređŞ˝
@inkedtae :- starting off with your writing and the way you make reader feel all those intense emotions damn hell. Second, HOW EACH AND EVERY TAE FIC OF YOURS HAD ME ON EDGE ALL THE MOTHERFUCKING TIME!!!. Like dude? đ. Now shall we talk about "rotten angel cake??" đ, Sugar daddy tae is so fucking hot, still waiting to know- how their Dynamics will WORK and be as they're now I'm relationship? Kinda. Eagerly waiting for an update đ¤§
@kookiestarlight:- I somehow stumbled upon "begin again" and shit you not I WEPT LIKE A FREAKING BABYđđđ.. I had to deal with so many emotions at once.
And then you left it on fucking cliffhangerHOW. DARE.YOU.đŞ
Great work though đ¤§..đđť please update, soonđĽşđĽşđ
___________________âĄ___________________
I have ALMOST REREAD ALL OF THEIR TAE FICS MORE THAN 4 TIMES. You would think it's INSANE but I can't fuckinnnggg HELP IT they're so good!!!! I can't press it more...
Please grace us w your next updates,đĽşđĽş
Love you all...!!!đЎđ¤
Thanks for all your work, I genuinely&deeply appreciate it.
I hope to see y'all's respective upcoming works. I'm looking forward for your updates, till then take care..đŚđ
God youâre so sweet butterfly. Thank you so much for this and Iâm really honored⌠đ𩷠your words mean so much to me. Youâd be the only one who loves the sequel tho. I still have mixed feelings about that one. But thank you for loving both anyway â¤ď¸. I love you and hope youâll stay w me to read that new Tae fic which Iâll write definitely before I die (good luck!)
Here and alive Butterflyâ¤ď¸. Oh god thank you so much for thinking about me. I really do appreciate you so freaking much. Iâm so grateful for you. Still is this really an anonymous ask tho? Who else gonna call me Petal other than you?????
Iâd love a drabble of perfect partner!! I miss them and would love to see more of them especially after that ending!
Hi love! Sorry for the late answer. I have been super busy (more like exhausted and drained of energy) past few weeks. Honestly, I was at the verge of getting therapy. Anyway, thank you so much for taking your time to send me this ask. Iâd love to write a Drabble for PP too. Iâll first finish the IAU and then maybe⌠maybe⌠Iâll come up with something. Thanks again for the love youâve sent my way â¤ď¸
Wow I donât even have words for the last chapter of IAU. Actually speechless . I think this is the only story Iâve read where I havenât completely been turned off by the idea of the main character being pregnant đ thatâs usually a dealbreaker in fics for me but idk I love the plot so much. I donât even understand how you have come up with such an amazing plot, is this based on a movie or tv series or something??? If not it then someone needs to turn it into a series đ¤ itâs so so good wow. Thank you for the update I canât wait to read more
Hey lovely! I know this ask has been sent to me a while ago and Iâm too late to asnwer. I desperately hope youâll see this.
Firstly, Iâm so sorry for the late answer. I have been working morning to⌠not night but next morning past few days and was at the brink of losing my sanity. Finally gave up on my night job so Iâm feeling a bit alive today. Again Iâm so sorry but I want you to know I appreciate every word from you and you made me so happy.
Secondly, thank you so much for your kind and loving words đđЎ. Honestly, I was so worried about bringing in a pregnancy to the story because I know itâs such a mood killer for many readers. But then I had to because thatâs how I initially planned it (how the story went on my head). And no itâs not based on anything but purely something that just popped in my head. Even the name IN ANOTHER UNIVERSE came later on after I wrote the whole first chapter. I had the idea and I wrote down something and only after then I wondered whatâs the name going to be. Donât make me cry though đ. Turn into a series? Really đ? This is so sweet. You are so sweet. Thanks again lovely. Iâve started working on the next chapter and then stopped midway but now Iâll get back to it. Hope youâre still here to read it â¤ď¸
I miss perfect partnerrrrr!!! they will always be in my heartđđđđ
Hi love! I miss perfect partner too đđ. But honestly Iâm so glad youâre still thinking about them. Maybe we should reread it. Or maybe I should write a drabble!!!
You pace around Jungkookâsânow yours as wellâapartment like a frantic. Your mind jumps from one thought to another even before you can fully grasp them. From what had happened to what you couldâve done to avoid it. From how royally fucked you are to what you should do next. You donât know what to do.Â
What should you do?
Jimin, without a doubt, is mad at you. You donât know what heâll say, if he wants to say anything, that is. Your friends are yet again judging you. How could someone mess things up this badly? Whatâs wrong with you?
You glance at the apartment door for the hundredth time, your heart longing for something. Someone to appear through that door. You need comfort. You need advice. You need someone to tell you what to do. Fuck, you wish Key was here. Your mom was here.Â
But the door to the apartment remains closed. No one comes in. Not even Jungkook, who has been always there for you no matter what. Itâs not him you wish to see anyway. You want to see only one person. Walking through that door. You need to hear his voice and hear him say itâs fine. Yet youâre afraid to hope. Because Park Jimin wouldnât come, right? No, he wouldnât.Â
You havenât switched on the lights, not wanting to bother with even the simplest tasks. The only light in the living room is the faint street light leaking inside, only allowing you to see the glimpses of furniture. Dark silhouettes scattered around the space.Â
Tears after painful tears wet your face. You rip your gaze from the door to the wall. Nobody would come. Certainly not Jimin and you have to figure this out yourself.
What can you do? What will you do? Oh god what are you going toâ
âSpring Roll?âÂ
You turn around so fast that it leaves you dizzy. You ignore it as a wave of relief brushes past you at the sight of him standing on the now opened doorway. You havenât even heard the door opening. Jimin lingers on the doorway, in the dark, not making any effort to come any further. You do the same. Rooted to the spot and trying to read him from afar. You canât. You canât understand what he is thinking. Itâs too dark. Whatâs going on inside his head? Is he mad? Sad? Both?Â
Thatâthe fact that you donât know scares the shit out of you. Perhaps you need to explain before he can call you out. Yes. Thatâs what you should do.
âIâm sorry.â You blurt out at the same time you take a step. âIâm so sorry. I swear I didnât knowâŚI was on the pills and I meant to tell you butâbut⌠Iâm sorryâŚIââ
âSpring Roll.â One moment he stands at the threshold and in the next heâs in front of you, with your face squashed between his cold palms. âStop it.â He says as you close your mouth. Surprised. You blink at his face. âWhat are you being sorry for?â He asks softly. So, so softly as if itâs meant to lull you into a sleep.Â
Now, up this close, you can finally read him. Emotions flicker in his eyes. And those are certainly not anger. No disappointment either. Affection maybe. Worry. Care. Everything that youâve been looking for. He isnât mad at you. The realization leaves you weak. So weak that you have to grab his shirt to stay upright.Â
âYouââ You begin with a small, shaky voice, blinking away your tears. âYouâre not mad?âÂ
âWhy would I be mad, baby? Thatââ His voice cracks. Heâs hurt. You can feel his pain. âThat I got you pregnant?â He takes a minute. You donât answer his question. âFuck! Fuck, Lil. What were you thinking? Baby, Iââ Another deep breath. âYou know what? I am mad. Mad because you didnât tell me earlierâŚMad because you decided you have to go through this shit alone.âÂ
âIâm sorry, I wanted toâŚâ New sobs tear your voice away. âI just didnât know ho-how toâŚI was scared, JiminâŚâ You expect him to ask you what you were scared of. But he doesnât. He just nods.
âI knowâŚâ He says through a crack of his voice. âI know you were scared, baby, and I understand. I get why you were scared. Itâs okay, though, hm? Iâm here. I got you.âÂ
A new wave of pain pierces through your heart. God how stupid you were. Why didnât you tell him? What were you thinking?
âIâm sorryâŚâÂ
âNo, baby⌠donât be. You did nothing wrong. Nothing is your fault. Do you hear me? If itâs anyoneâs fault, then it should be mine. I got you pregnant, Lil. I didnât use protectionââ
âI insisted,â You wonât let him take the blame alone. âAnd I was on pills and-and Iââ
âThings happen, Lil⌠Itâs not your fault. Then itâs our faultâŚnot yours. And itâs fine, yeah? Weâre fineâŚYouâre fine. Iâm hereâŚâÂ
You just nod. Seemingly at a loss of words. Heâs being sweet. Itâs making your heart ache.Â
âI just,â Jimin continues after your nod of agreement. âI just want you to tell me when something happens next time, baby. I love you. And-and I want you to tell me everything now, yeah?â Another nod from you is all he gets. You do your best to keep tears contained. Fail. So, you give up. âHo-how long⌠um⌠how long have you known?â Jimin finds you a path to start speaking. Finally talk. Talk with him. The comfort youâve been looking for.Â
You force yourself to stop crying. âJust today. I uh-it was before I came down, whe-when I took the test.â Jimin nods this time. Not because heâs speechless but to let you know heâs listening. Understanding. âBut I suspected it before thatâŚsi-since that night. With Seoyeon.âÂ
Jimin closes his eyes briefly. As if calculating in his mind, how long it has been. Then reopens them. âShit, Lil. Thatâs whyââ A sigh. âThatâs why you were soâŚâÂ
âYes.âÂ
âGod I wish you wouldâve just talked to me.âÂ
âI know, I thoughtââ You swallow your words back. Not knowing what to say. Jimin wordlessly rests his forehead against yours. His thumbs make idle circles to wipe down your tears.
âItâs okayâŚI got you. Weâre going to figure this out, yeah? Weâre going to get through this. I got youâŚâÂ
Your fingers curl over his shirt tight and tight. The relief crashes over you like a wave. Stealing your breath. Making you weak. He isnât mad. Not disappointed in you. Not even in the slightest. You couldâve talked to him just fine. What were you thinking? He is Jimin. Park Jimin. Your comfort.Â
You wouldâve failed to keep that sob inside even if you tried. Itâs the relief that makes you bawl. Bawl like a toddler who fell and scraped her knee. A toddler who lost her favorite toy. You push your face in Jiminâs chest. And he lets you. Lets you weep. Lets you break a week's worth of tension and fear. He just keeps you close, petting your hair and holding you tight. Lets you cry, cry, and cry. Until you canât cry anymore. Until it leaves you so exhausted that your loud sobs turn into pitiful whimpers. Until your voice turns hoarse and you mumble into his chest, âWhat are we going to do?â Only then he pushes you away. So he can take a good look at your face.
You do the same. His eyes are glassy as well. You donât know why heâs crying. Because youâre crying or because heâs scared as well. Either way, he manages to smile at you softly. âWeâre going to do whatever you want, Lil.â Says before kissing your forehead.Â
Now, for all the time youâve known him, Park Jimin never failed to amaze you. He always has been full of surprises. Surprises that made you fall in love with him. At this rate, you need to stop being so shocked but you canât help it. You gape at his face.
âItâs your life,â Jimin softly explains. âYou should get to decide what you want to do with it. Itâs your call to make, baby. I justâŚwant you to know that I damn love you no matter what and Iâd be there with you whatever you decide. In every fucking step.âÂ
You already knew that you loved him. With every fiber of your body. But you swear that you havenât loved him more than you love him at the current moment. The tears you wiped away earlier make a reappearance at his words. Your call. Your decision. He wouldnât push you or force you to do anything. If only you knew what to do, though.
âIââ You peer at his eyes. You know he wouldnât judge you for not knowing what to do. He wouldnât think youâre stupid. âI donât know what to doâŚâ You admit. And his soft smile doesnât waver a bit.Â
âItâs okay. Take your time. Meanwhile letâs make sure youâre okayâŚlike umâŚare you sure? Like have you taken two tests?âÂ
You shake your head before answering. âIâll take one tomorrow. But IâŚI doubt itâll change anything.â There it is. The truth. Something you refused to even admit for yourself. But deep down, you had known it was the case. Not before Seoyoen planted the seed in your brain. But after that. You knew you were pregnant. The rest was you denying the truth. Wanting to alter the truth to what you wanted it to be. Wishful thinking. Now, with Jimin youâre ready to admit that truth. Be raw with him. Lay everything bare in front of him.Â
Jimin nods again. In understanding. âWeâll do it anyway, hm? Just to be sure and letâs take you to a doctor. I want you safe and healthy. Got it?âÂ
âYes.â You mumble weakly.Â
âThen, weâll do whatever you want to do.âÂ
âOkay.â Another weak mumble leaves your mouth. And a silence falls. A comfortable, peaceful one. Jimin wiping down more of your tears. You lean into his touch. Itâs finally solved. You donât have to be a little ball of nerves anymore. You have your comfort. You just donât want to lose that even for a minute, however. âWould you stay the night with me?â You ask calmly. Basking in the moment. Turn around to glance at the mattress on the floor as much as Jiminâs tight hold allows you to do. âThe mattress is much more comfortable than it looks.â You turn back to look at his face. The faint light coming from the windows illuminates one side of his face.Â
Jimin hums in answer. Contemplating. âI doubt thatâŚâ Says as you pout. âBut Iâll sacrifice my sleep in the name of love.âÂ
A grin breaks through your tear wrecked face. âWow, it must be so damn hard.â
âIt is hard. But Iâm doing it because I love you so damn much.â He scrunches up his face. You play into his awful joke. It doesnât matter how stupid it could be, he has already made you smile.Â
âGood thing that I love you so damn much more, then.âÂ
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
You had thought enough. Or maybe not enough. You had thought, and thought, nonetheless. Throughout the whole night while Jimin slept soundlessly, curled into your body on the mattress. Or as he pretended to be asleep. You had wondered and pondered as you listened to Jungkook tossing and turning the entire night before he gave up and started playing video games. You had considered your every option, staring into the white ceiling. Had reminisced about your whole life while Jungkook was trying to curse as quietly as he could.Â
Yet as you now sit in Jimin's car, heading back home, youâre still thinking. You had taken the second test this morning, which came out positive as you expected. Jimin booked an appointment with OB-GYN, the best he could find, at his earliest convenience. And the old, kind woman had confirmed what you already knew. The only news was that you were at least eight weeks far along.Â
Eight fucking weeks!
Youâve been pregnant for two months. Youâve missed two of your periods and you had no idea. How irresponsible can you be? And the experienced woman had known your situation even without you describing it. Just one look at the young couple in front of herâunmarried, not having a clue about what they are doingâand the word ânot expectingâ had told her enough. Enough to know that you werenât a young pair of parents who were there to celebrate. So she advised you of all your options, if you werenât expecting to raise the baby.Â
You are allowed to remove the embryo legally. And you can do it without going through a surgical process. Only if youâre doing it now. Then she had shown you the options of going through the pregnancy and placing the baby for adoption.Â
Both options had made your heart crumple like it's a piece of paper and nothing more. It had been a struggle not to cry right then and there.Â
Even now, as you think about it, all you can feel is an ache so deep that you think youâre about to die. The answer is loud in your head. No. No way you could go through this until the birth and give away your baby. Youâre not that strong. That leaves you with one choice. Removing the embryo. Unless of course, you chose the third option. Raising the baby. Not wise. Not sensible. Youâre not ready. Jimin is not ready. You both have enough problems going on. ButâŚ.
You turn your head to look at the man next to you. Driving the car. His sole attention on the road ahead. One hand holding yours. Your eyes dart over his beautiful face. Breathtaking. From his blonde hair to his crooked tooth. Perfect. In such an imperfect way. You love him. Even his flaws. And the fact that a piece of himâa piece of both of youâis growing inside you, marvels you. Youâre not ready to lose that. Youâre too greedy to lose that.Â
Itâs not practical. Itâs not sensible. Youâre too young and not ready. But that one part of your heart is not ready to listen to the reasons. If you are to lose this, youâll be forever devastated.Â
You swallow to soothe down your throat. Jiminâs not going to like what youâre about to ask him. But you do have to ask.Â
âJiminâŚâYou mumble his name gently. Jimin hums in answer, without averting his eyes away from the road. You take a deep breath. You have to ask. âWould you be mad if I wanted to keep the baby?â The decision. What you come to at last. After all the thinking and worrying. Now itâs out. In the open. And just as the words leave your mouth, Jimin slams on the brakes at the upcoming red light. With unnecessary force and suddenness that you whimper. Your nausea comes back.Â
âSorry, fuck, sorry.â Jimin blurts. You realize that he has let go of your hand to stretch it firm across your chest. An instinct. You scowl, yet shake your head to let him know that youâre fine. He asks it a few times nonetheless. Only after that he acknowledges what you said a couple seconds ago.Â
âWhat did you say?â He asks, shifting his gaze between the traffic lights and you. You look at your lap. At the flowery pattern on your dress. Briefly. Then you lock your eyes with him.Â
âI want to keep the baby.â Announce. Sternly. Confidently. But then add, âBut I want to know what you think. I know you said itâs my call and my decision because itâs my life but itâs your life too, Jimin. I know my decision will affect both of us and we have lots going on. I know you have to focus all your attention on the business andâŚand you probably donât want thisââ
âLil?â Jimin interrupts your ramble. âFirst of all, would you stop assuming what I want or what I think, youââ He stops midsentence so he can drive off at the green light. âYou donât know whatâs going on inside my head, do you? And second of all,â He beats a second. A glance at you. Then, âFuck!â He curses aloud. At the same time he signals the car to the left and pulls over in front of a shop. Curses again as he rests his head back on the headrest. Closes his eyes for a second and then his attention is on you. âDid youâŚare youâŚâ You swear that something like a small smile tries its best to break on his lips. He doesnât let it happen, though. He hides it as he asks you again. âAre you sure?âÂ
You frown at him. âAm I sure whether I want to have a baby? Yes, Jimin. What do you think?I thought about it a lot andââ
âI know you did but,â Jimin sighs. âBut I have to ask, Lil. I have to know. IâŚumâŚbecause youâd be tied to the baby for all your life, Princess. To us. Thereâd be no way out from this.âÂ
You know what he means. Even if things changed, even if things went astray, you wouldnât be able to escape. Even if you and Jimin didnât work out in the future, heâd forever be a part of you. Father of your kid. You donât want to think about that prospect. Love and logic don't go well with each other sometimes. Damn the logic. You want to believe that youâre meant forever. Yet even if that wasn't the case, youâre not scared.Â
âIâll be happy to be stuck with you.â You mumble. Just like you once had happily agreed to be his mistress. Like how you were thrilled to know heâd be annoying your ass.Â
Jiminâs eyes soften. He takes your hand in his again. Kisses the back of your hand. âWhat aboutâLilâŚ.â Youâve never seen him such a loss at words. âDo you realize that you wonât be able to goââ He groans. âThat you wonât beââ
âThat I wonât be able to live two incomplete lives in two different worlds?â You mercifully cut him some slack. He nods. Body tense. Well, of course you had thought about it. It was the first thing that had popped in your head the moment the idea of a baby came up. You and Jimin had never brought this topic up. Maybe youâve been deliberately delaying it. Not wanting to face a hard truth. It is true that you both have been saying and wanting to find a way. But none of you ever admitted outright that the way youâre searching for is a way for you to permanently stay. And you never thought about the fact that staying here means giving up on your other life.Â
A goodbye. To the whole life youâve known about. Youâve been living in a borrowed time. Fixing it with more and more borrowed time. As if you could go that way forever. Greedy indeed. Not giving up on either world. Now, though, that has to come to an end. Now, perhaps is the time to bring that topic up.Â
You watch Jimin carefully. Youâve often wondered why he hasn't asked you to stay forever. Once he had told you that he planned on making you want to stay. But he never asked you to give up on your life. And that marvels you. Because, Park Jimin is the most selfish person youâve ever seen. The same Jimin who asked you to stay a little bit longer all those months ago. The same Jimin who asked you to become his mistress. Then the fact that he didnât ever ask you this, speaks volumes. Just like how he never pushed you with this pregnancy news. You can guess why he never did that but you have to ask.Â
âHow come you never asked me to stay?â You ask softly. Not quite the thing heâs expecting to hear from you. Jiminâs eyes hardened at that. Pain twists his beautiful features. Guilt maybe. He stares ahead.Â
âBecause itâs so selfish, Lil.âÂ
âAnd you are selfish, Park.â
He snorts. âI am, aren't I?â A gentle shake of his head. âButâŚâ He sighs. âI canât do that to you.â
âSo you donât want me here anymore?âÂ
âFuck! I do want you here forever, Love.â Jiminâs eyes slightly go wide. âI want you with me and thatâs so selfish.âÂ
âI donât think thatâs selfish.â You mumble. Jimin bites his bottom lip.Â
âAnd I was scared of asking you that. I was scared of you saying no. Then I wouldâve begged you and if you had decided to stay after thatâŚI mightâve never forgiven myself. Because thatâs not fair, Princess. Itâs not fair if itâs only you who would have to make all the sacrifices.âÂ
You squeeze his hand. Sighing. Heart clenching. Not exactly from pain but also from the love you possess for this man. âYou nearly gave up your company for me, Jimin.âÂ
âNearly, though. I didnât do it.â
âAnd Iâm so glad.â
âThatâs exactly it, Spring Roll. Just like you donât want me to lose anything, I donât want you to lose anything either. It hurts me when youâre the one giving everything up. When youâre the one who makes all of the sacrifices when Iâm stuck here, not being able to do anything for you. Anything for us.â
You donât think youâve ever been this honest with each other. Jimin looks helpless. And you understand him. âWell it isnât a competition about who makes the most sacrifices, baby.â You rub your thumb behind his palm. âAndâŚwhat if I donât see it as a sacrifice?â You ask as Jimin furrows. Yet he doesnât say anything. Simply wait in silence until you explain. âBefore all this, JiminâŚeven before we started having sex, I fell in love with this life. With you.Iâve loved going out with all your friendsâour friends,â A soft smile grazes your lips. âI love themâIâve loved them. Not that I donât love my family or Key. I do. I miss them so badly. When I stopped shifting between two worlds, it made me panic so bad. I wasnât expecting everything to end like that. I still wish I had one chance to say goodbye at least. ButâŚâ You look him dead in the eye as you say the next few words. âIf we had been matured enough to communicate this problem, then even without any of these in the wayâa baby or notâI wouldâve said yes,âÂ
Jimin sucks in a sharp breath. As if after all these he canât believe that you want to stay.Â
âI say yes, Jimin. I want to stay. Andââ You rush to add when he opens his mouth with an expression which is undoubtedly guilty. âThis is not me giving up everything because of you. Simply, I love this life and people in it. I love you and nowâŚmyâour baby. So, donât think these are all your fault. It is not. And Iâm pretty sure Iâll be able to start fresh. Even though I have a baby, I guess Iâll be able to chase my dreams again. NewâŚdreams.âÂ
âAnd you will. Iâm gonna make sure you will.â This time Jimin leans toward you to kiss your hair. Then with a finger under your chin, he turns your head so he can kiss your lips. Gently but thoroughly. Pulls away only when youâre gasping for air. You bask in the warmth of him and the kiss for a second before you remember the matter at hand. You almost ask him the question again when a small smile breaks in his beautiful face. He tries to contain it. Fails. Closes his eyes and sighs in defeat. In the next second Jimin is grinning like a fool. Then chuckling. You gape at his face, dumbfounded.Â
âFuck, Lil.â He curses. âThis is fucking crazyâŚâSays as his other hand, which is not entangled with yours, goes to your tummy. His palm is warm against you even with the barricade of clothing between you. He presses on your skin gently. âFuck, I wanted to do this since yesterday. Since I knewâŚIâ-Iâ Jimin struggles to form words. His stupidly endearing grin disappears as he turns serious again. Very.Â
âWhat do you mean?â You ask, your brain going haywire and making every kind of assumption.Â
âI wanted to feelâŚâ Jiminâs eyes are locked in where his hand is rubbing on your tummy. âBut then I was scared to hope, inâin any case you didnât want thisâŚand I also didnât want to influence your decision.âÂ
âYouâŚyou wanted this?âÂ
Jimin shakes his head, confusing you to no end. âI-I donât know. I was as scared as you were, Spring Roll. But I liked the ideaâŚof aâŚa baby. Our baby.â He takes a second and you let him. Thereâs no rush. Even though you're impatient. âBut I didnât want to push you to do anythingâŚif I did this yesterday or-or if I had let you know that I liked the idea of having a babyâŚeven a little bit, then you wouldâve made that decision for me. And I didnât want that. I wanted to support you in whatever you wanted to do with this. SoâŚâ That grin appears in his face again. âI had to wait for thisâŚâ He groans. âFuck, Iâm gonna keep touching your belly until my arm hurts.âÂ
A soft snort leaves you. Yet you sober up quickly. The weight of his words is finally getting to you. Oh heâs making you fall in love with him again and again, isnât he? Heâd wreck you. Wreck you if heâs ever going to be not a part of your life. Heâs so fair to assume that youâd make a decision to make him happy. You would have done that. Because youâre blindly in love. And people do all types of stupid shits when theyâre in love.Â
âDoes that mean you want the baby?â You ask even though you know thatâs exactly what Jimin meant. He gives you a look. But doesnât call you out for your stupid question. Just kiss your cheek as he answers.Â
âI do. I know it might be crazy and not logicalâŚfuck, Iâm a businessman, I only do logical things but damn, LilâŚIâm so ready to do this.âÂ
You know what heâs saying. You understand. Seems like both of youâve been having similar kinds of thoughts. Both fighting the same monsters.Â
You donât try to stop the grin that spreads across your face. Nod. Jimin joins you. You place your hand atop his.Â
God damn, youâre having a baby!
Itâs scary. But also exciting.Â
âYouâre going to do great, Princess.â Jimin mutters as if he can read your mind. âYouâre going to be a great mom. And weâre gonna catch your dreams. No matter what.âÂ
We.Â
Weâre gonna catch them. Not just you.
Oh you like the sound of it.Â
âYou too. Youâre going to be a great dad.âÂ
âI amâŚâ Jimin states confidently. Then gasps. As if he just realizes something. âI am going to be a dad.âÂ
You mumble something that sounds like âyes you areâ through your smile. Both of you starting to laugh and talk at the same time. Your heart feels light. Finally. After so long. You feel like youâre floating.Â
See, everything will be fine. Maybe itâs true when they say that you lose something so you could get something even better. Maybe this is that better thing you get for losing your life. And honestly, you donât mind. Youâre happy. Jimin is happy.Â
You will be happy.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
âYou gotta be kidding me!â Jungkook rises to his feet instantly, palms bracing on the kitchen island. âPlease tell me this is a joke.â He looks mad. Like that one time after you came home and fought after knowing Jimin and Liya were about to get engaged.Â
You scowl at him. A spark of annoyance stirring inside you. You knew that heâd be shocked to know about your decision to have the baby. But thisâŚthis is clearly overreacting. âI am not Kook. Why would I be joking about such aââ
âFor fucks sake, are you out of your mind?â Jungkook looks at you with wide eyes. This is making you angry now. Whatâs his problem? âNoonaââ He starts again but changes his mind. Straightens up. âNo. Youâre even younger than meâŚâ Sighs. âWhat made you think youâre capable of having a kid?âÂ
What kind of question is that?Â
âI donât knowâŚâ You try your best to keep your calm. âMy brain, maybe. Iâm not that younger than you, Jungkook. Just a couple years. Iâm not a toddler.âÂ
âYouâre still in college.â
âThird year. Iâm so close to completing my degree.â Or you wouldâve if you didnât get stuck in this world.Â
âAnd?â Jungkook pinches the bridge of his nose. Is acting like heâs indeed dealing with a toddler whoâs throwing a tantrum. You donât like it. âFuck, youâre still a baby yourself. You still like to eat ice cream in the middle of the night in winter. You need someone to scold you to not do that. You still need someone to wake you up in the morning and youâre being a brat about it. You need someone to remind you to eat properly. How the fuck are you going to take care of someone else when you need someone to take care of you?âÂ
TrueâŚmaybe. No. Not, maybe. Heâs spitting facts. Youâre still a kid. Or acting like one. Only sometimes, though. Youâre certain you can change it if need be. You try to say that but Jungkook walks over to you. He grabs your face in one hand and tilts your head up before placing both of his hands on your shoulders.Â
âNoonaâŚâ He breathes. âCâmon, baby, youâre so young. You should be going out, getting drunk and-and worrying about your fucking hangover. Not about a baby. You should be finishing your degree, stressing out over your finals, finding jobs andâŚand, fuck, Noona, thereâs a lifetime ahead. Donât tie yourself to a babyââ
âDonât talk like that.â You finally manage to shut his mouth. âAnd Iâd be able to do all that even with a babyâŚâ
âBullshit,â Jungkook spits. âYou know you canât. You know it wonât be the sameâŚâ You wince at his harsh tone. He notices, which makes him drags in a deep breath and fixes his tone. âListen, NoonaâŚI know you love, Jimin. But you donât have to bear his kid to prove thatâŚâÂ
Okay, heâs making the worst kind of assumptions.Â
Yet you donât get to correct him. Not before he suddenly furrows. As if something just comes in his mind. As if he just understands something. âFuck,â A slow, quiet curse. âPlease donât tell me youâre doing this because he asked you to.âÂ
What now?
âI swear to god, Noona, Iâm going to fucking kill him.â Jungkook grits. His eyes burning with a fire that gets your throat dry. He looks like he might actually kill someone. This time your efforts at trying to correct him gets disrupted by a new voice. A familiar one.Â
âLucky you then,â You and Jungkook both turn your head just in time to find Jimin ease into the kitchen. âYou can start now. Perfect timing, I guess.âÂ
You blink at Jimin in surprise. The fury in Jungkookâs face, however, doesnât waver a tiniest bit as he takes one look at Jimin and turns toward him. He closes the distance between him and Jimin in a blink. You yelp and shoot to your feet as Jungkook grabs Jimin by his shirt collar.Â
âYou fucking bastard!â Jungkook barks.Â
âFucking watch it Jeon Jungkook.â Jimin says back. Calm. Collected. Not in anger. At least not in one that could match Jungkookâs. But you can see the storm in his eyes. Icy rage.Â
Jungkook completely ignores that rage. âWhat the fuck were you thinking?â Jungkookâs grip on Jiminâs poor shirt tightens. Jimin chooses to stay quiet. âDonât you have enough problems as it is? And you think you can handle a baby?âÂ
âYes, Jungkook. I know I can handle a baby.â Jimin answers Jungkook this time. Still calm. Still collected. Just that icy rage in his eyes. âIf I can recall correctly, the last time I checked, I was fucking older than you, owned a fucking business, was a CEO, and was filthy rich. So, I guess Iâm perfectly capable of raising a baby.â Jimin says. âWithout getting shit from a college student.â Adds.
Jungkook stills for a second. Then scoffs. âWhat about her then?â He gestures to you with a tilt of his head. âSheâs even fucking younger than me, Park. Youâre ready. Youâre old enough. Youâve got what you wanted. But what about her?â Jungkook yells. His face is so close to Jimin and his grip is tightening till his knuckles turn white. âHow fucking selfish you could be, Park? You have everything but she doesnât. Have you thought about that? About what will happen to her life?âÂ
You know Jungkook hit the nail on the head. Perfectly. That icy rage on Jiminâs face instantly morphs into something else. Guilt. Fear.Â
You might have to meddle right now. Before itâs too late. But Jimin starts before you get a chance.Â
âYouâre just his friend, Jungkook, not a damn parent. Act like one.â
âI am a friend and I am damn acting just like that, because her asshole of a boyfriend is too fucking selfish to give a shit abââ
âIt was me, Jungkook!â You surprise all three of you with your sudden explosion. Jungkook turns his head to you. You walk around the kitchen island. Yet donât go closer to them. âI decided that I want the baby. He has nothing to do with it. I told you this already but Iâm telling you againâŚIâm capable of making my own decisions, Jungkook. I might be young but Iâm not a toddler. Jimin has nothing to do with my decision to have the baby.â You end your outburst with a stern voice.Â
Jungkook says nothing for a second. All three of you stand in the kitchen in utter silence. At last, after what feels like a year Jungkook lets go of Jimin. Chuckles. Sounds almost crazy. âOf course you did.â Mumbles. Looks hopeless. And it hits you. Heâs being considerate. Is worrying about you. But at the same time, heâs hurting. Like it had hurt you when Liya announced that she was getting engaged to Jimin. Hurting like it wouldâve hurt you if you were in Jungkookâs shoes and watching Jimin having a baby with someone else.Â
Suddenly your heart starts to feel heavy. A deep pang that makes the annoyance vanishes into thin air. You donât want to hurt Jungkook. Not at all. Yet you donât know what to say to him. Any word of comfort sounds stupid even in your head. So you gape at him as he processes things. Until he finally comes up with something else.
âWell, how are you going to have a baby while traveling between two worldsâŚI mean if that starts to happen again?â Jungkook genuinely sounds curious. He thinks youâre still looking for a way back. A way to take things back to normal. You had planned to tell him your change of mind regarding the specific problem just after you dropped the bomb about the baby. Well, it seems that the situation is calling for you to say the news at the moment.Â
âIâm going to stay.â You say softly. No edge in your voice anymore. If the news surprises Jungkook, he doesnât show it. Nothing. Not a single expression on his face as he pokes the inside of his cheek with his tongue. Then nods.Â
âGood for you, then.â Mumbles oh so bitterly that you could practically taste it. He doesnât wait for anything else. Just simply walks out of the kitchen. Stops briefly on the doorway. Doesnât look at you as he adds, âI hope youâve at least considered the risks. I hope you know that there still is a chance that you might wake up in your world one day with no way back andâŚthis timeâŚwith a goddamn baby.â
With that he storms away. Jungkookâs words pierces through you. Like a poisonous arrow. Hitting right at your chest and piercing the flesh. You havenât thought about that. And it is a damn possibility. A chill runs down your spine at the prospect. You stare at the now empty spot where Jungkook stood a second ago. Emptily. Until you catch Jimin, whoâs been staring at the retrieving Jungkook, turns his head to you. That icy rage still lingers in his eyes. But the moment his eyes land on you, his features soften like melting butter.Â
Jimin rushes over to you. âNo,â He shakes his head. Drops something wrapped in a paper bag onto the kitchen island before slipping his arms around you. âThatâs not going to happen. What he saidâŚYouâre going to be fine, Lil.âÂ
You think you find a tinge of uncertainty in his voice despite his words. Not that you can blame him, though. You know it scares him as much as it scares you.Â
âWeâre still looking for that woman, remember? Iâm not going to risk anything. You know that.â Jimin adds in your silence. You know. You know heâs doing his best. Youâre the useless one here. You nod, pouting involuntarily.Â
âHeâs a fucking asshole.â Say after you manage to gather yourself up. Jimin snorts softly. A flicker of amusement flashes across his eyes.Â
âNoâŚâ He clicks his tongue. âThat title is completely reserved for me. Jungkook is anything but an asshole, LilâŚHeâs hurting.â
Well damn!Â
Jimin is such a piece of art. You are certain he was so ready to throw punches at Jungkook a mere second ago. You know Jimin can be a jealousy prick. Youâve experienced that much. He had even once asked you to move out from this house just because he was jealous of Jeon Jungkook.Â
This? You donât know what this is. The duality.Â
âAnd heâll come around. You know that, donât you?â Jimin asks again, playing with your hair. âJust talk to him.â
The talk. Yeah. You havenât really gotten the time to do that lately. Considering how things have gone today, it might take ages to have that talk it seems.Â
âI will.â You say nonetheless, nodding. Jimin mirrors you. An agreement. A moment passes before his lips find your cheeks. Then your brows. Ears. Eyes. Tip of your nose. Every inch he can find. You let him. Just stay silent while his kisses grow aggressive. Slowly turning maniac until Jimin starts to devour you. A soft smile breaks on your face first. Then even before you know it, youâre giggling madly, doing your best to push him away. You fail. Itâs only when he grows tired of his actions that he pulls away.Â
You gasp for air, hitting his chest playfully. âFuck you, Park.â You bite with no real malice in your words. The paper bag sitting on the kitchen island catches your attention. âWhatâs in there?â You question, making distance between your bodies. Jimin lets go of you reluctantly.Â
âIce cream. Your favorite.â A cheeky smile thrown your way. âAnd itâs from the best place so I vouch that itâs gonna taste like heavenâÂ
Despite your best efforts your face scrunches up. Not that you can help the churning in your guts, though. Jiminâs face fall. âIâm so sorry.â You grumble. Throw your arms around his neck. âIâm fucking mad that I canât have my favorite foods, to be honest. But I really canât stomach much.âÂ
Jimin pouts with you. âThatâs okay. Weâll find something you can stomach,â He sounds serious. You peck his lips softly before pulling away to put the ice cream away. Who knows, maybe youâll be able to eat the entire tub after a couple hours. Better to keep it. Jimin continues as you fumble around the kitchen. âIâm going to buy you every type of food. Until you find a new favorite.âÂ
Of course, he has to be a little extra. You roll your eyes. Ignore his silly promises. âSo you came by just to give me ice cream and eavesdrop?â You raise a brow, looking behind him over your shoulder, hands working their own to make space in the freezer. You donât know why itâs so full in the first place.Â
âUmâŚâ Jimin leans against the kitchen island. You finally push the tub of ice cream inside through all the other stuff, making a mental note to clean this up later. âKinda.â Jimin shrugs. Hesitantly. All of a sudden, he looks a bit nervous.
âKinda?â You repeat. Bemused.Â
âUmâŚ.yeah. I mean I wanted to talk to you as well.âÂ
You go back to press yourself against him. His hands fall to your waist, keeping you close, instantly. âSo, we couldâve talked on the phone.â You say once youâre comfortably leaning against him.Â
âCanât,â Jimin shakes his head. âThis is important. I had to see your face.â A slight redness creeps up his neck.Â
Is he fucking blushing?
âOkayâŚâ You try to keep the teasing tilt in your voice away. You succeed only to an extent. âWhat is it? Are you pregnant too?âÂ
Jimin rolls his eyes. Evidently not impressed by your stupid joke. âYes. Youâre going to be a father.â Yet he says.Â
âWow, Iâm going to be the best!â You tease him some more before you sober up. Turn serious. Know heâs about to say something that needs your full attention despite his adorable blush. âNo but what is it, baby?â You ask, this time your face is neutral. Jimin removes his hands from your body. Just to scratch the back of his neck. You know for sure that heâd be pacing around the kitchen like a mad cow if it wasnât for you pressed against him.Â
Jimin takes his time. You wait patiently. Then he blurts, âIâm selling the apartment.âÂ
Your eyebrows rise to the crown of your head. Mouth hanging open. Jimin is always full of surprises but this isnât expected at all. âW-why?â You stutter.Â
âBecauseâŚâ He sighs. âYou wouldnât like to move in with me there. I donât like to live there either. But mostly I know it feels so fucked upâŚand, andââ He takes a look at your face. Probably bewildered. A small gasp leaves his lips. âI mean only if you wanted to, Lil⌠Move in, I mean.âÂ
Youâre surprised. More than surprised, honestly. Shocked. But the proposal doesnât sound that horrific in your mind. Nor does it sound scary. Youâre having a baby after all. Your earlier surprise fades into amusement yet again. âIs this your way of asking me to move in with you, Park?â You ask him at the end of his rumble. The redness in Jiminâs neck spreads into his face.Â
âY-yesâŚI guessâŚI mean I know that weâre moving forward too fast and maybe youâre not ready yet. This all must feel too much to handle butâŚweâll have to get settled if we are raising a kid. You canât raise a kid here. I know youâre comfortable here and this is your home, Princess, and I know Jungkookâll damn let you start a nursery here if you ask him butââ
âI know, Jimin.â You put an end to his unnecessary explanation. Heâs telling the truth. This is your home. Has been for almost a year now. And youâre more than comfortable here. But, you canât raise a kid in this place. Youâve overused Jungkookâs good will already. Maybe itâs time. âI know what youâre trying to say.â You smile at him. Sigh. âJungkook wonât be happy, though.â Add.Â
âHe wonât.â Jimin agrees. This time, you think you hear a little edge in his voice. A tiny thorn of jealousy. Yet he doesnât say anything about it. Instead, looks at you with wide eyes abruptly. âWait?â He gasps. âIs that a yes?âÂ
You giggle. âCourse, itâs a yes, Park.â Jimin visibly relaxes. His shoulders drop. That stupid kind of grin youâve been sharing lately makes a way into his face, soon followed by yours. Youâll allow yourself to just be happy now. You can sulk and worry about leaving this place later. Can worry about leaving Jungkook later. âAre you going apartment hunting?â You ask after a quick kiss.Â
âWe are going apartment hunting.â Jimin corrects you.Â
âWhen?â
âAs soon as you are ready, baby. We donât have to do it, tomorrowâŚTake your timeâŚhm? Weâll look for a place but we can move in whenever youâre ready. Even if itâs in a week or months. Or even after the birth if you want more time here.âÂ
You sigh. Heavily. This is going to hurt. Moving out from this place. You've got an awful lot of memories here. Shared laughter to tears. But you know you have to do this one day or another. Still youâd have to talk with Jungkook. Make the air clear. You want to leave this place just as you first found it. Welcoming. As your home. A place youâd return to now and then. You want to leave this place while Jungkook is still your friend. Someone whoâd open this door for you whenever you come by. You donât want to lose him. So a couple more months indeed sounds great.Â
âNahâŚâ You let Jimin know. âJust a couple months would do.âÂ
âOf course.â Jimin agrees right away. And you know he means it. âUntil thenâŚeven though Jungkook is planning to kill meâŚâ He toys with a stray strand of your hair. âI donât mind sharing that matters with you sometimes.â Winks.
âOh yeah, I knew youâd like it.âÂ
Your shared giggles fill the otherwise empty apartment.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
You sigh in defeat as you shift your weight from one leg to the other. Every bone and muscle in your body groaning in protest. Yet it seems like youâd have no other options but to keep going and prepare all the onions in front of youâwhich will be used in todayâs menu by Mr. Kim once he arrives in the restaurant.Â
You had a terrible night of sleep last night. Restless. Full of awful dreams you canât remember now. You had tried your best to fall asleep until you gave up and woke up at an ungodly hour in the morning. Had decided to come down to the restaurant and start prepping ingredients even though thereâs plenty of time until the shop opens.Â
You regret it fully now. Chopping vegetables isnât fun after all. Nor is standing on your feet for hours. But you have to finish what you started. Youâve even asked the intern boy to mind other business after he arrived a moment ago. He wonât be happy if you reassign him with this task again. You clench your teeth, picking another onion and placing it on the cutting board. You bring the knife with your other, placing the sharp blade in the middle of the onion that is about to be slaughtered when your hand slips. You let go of the vegetable instantly to save your hand from any cuts when it rolls down onto the floor.Â
You curse soundly, gripping the edge of the counter to find strength. It takes you another dramatic extra second to pull yourself to be able to bend down. Yet only the thought passes your mind when a flash of a blur appears in front of you. Even before you could complete a blink the onion is picked up from the floor and is placed on the counter again. And you blink at Jungkook's scowling face.Â
âWhat the fuck are you doing here?â He grumbles.Â
âWhat does it look like, Jungkook? Iâm workingâŚâ You grumble back.
âAnd who the fuck asked you to start working this early? Are they going to pay you extra or something?â He looks even more pissed than how he did back then when you broke the news of the baby. A mix of amusement, annoyance, and surprise flashes through you. This is the first time heâs talking to you after that day. Jungkook, after all, could be a better asshole than Jimin if he needs to be. He has managed to avoid you for days. No, not days, weeks. Itâs been almost two weeks since he last talked to you. Months and months of living with Jeon Jungkook has taught you by experience that he could be a stubborn baby when heâs mad or hurt.Â
And now, he has emerged in front of you like this and thinks he could just yell at you? Oh, heâs pissing you off at this point. Maybe you should hit him with the onion.
You glare at him. âI donât have to wait until someone asks me to do something, Jungkook. I can decideââ
âYeah, yeahâŚI know. You're a big girl and you can make your own decisions.â Jungkook cuts you off rudely. âBut you shouldnât be exhausting yourself like that.â
You roll your eyes, scoffing. As if he cares. âIâm just pregnant. Not sickââ
âAnd I donât care.â Thatâs all the warning you get when Jungkook suddenly leans forward and snatches the knife on your hand away. He throws it to the table carelessly. Bends down, wraps his arms around your thighs, from under your butt, and picks you up. As easily as youâre nothing but a ragdoll. You squeal in terror, bringing your hands to his shoulders to keep your balance. Jungkook walks over to the table in the middle of the kitchen and drops you on top of it even before you could comprehend what happened. âI donât care whether youâre fit to work the whole day or run a marathon, Noona. If I see you groaning in pain and looking so fucking tired and still refuse to rest, Iâm going to chain you into a bed and then bubble wrap you.â He braces his palms on the wooden top of the table on either side of you. The look in his eyes says that he means every word.Â
You fold your arms together under your chest. âOkay, what the fuck is this, Jungkook. I thought you werenât talking to me and you didnât like the idea of me having a baby. Why would you care?â
âWrong.â Jungkook remains in his position despite your posture of defiance. âI never said I didnât like the idea of you having a baby. I didnât like the idea of you losing a part of your life because of responsibilities.âÂ
Liar. Partially.Â
You know thatâs not the only reason. You donât say the words aloud, though. âSo what changed?â
âNothing changed. I still think youâre too fucking young. Butââ Jungkook adds hastily before you can interfere. âI also realized that youâre not a kid like you said. Iââ A sigh. And for the first time his features soften. That pissed off expression morphs into a guilty one. Quite sad. âI shouldâve trusted you when you said you knew what you were doing. SoâŚIâm sorry, Noona. I trust you to make the best decisions for yourself.â
The tinge of annoyance youâve been feeling pops out at those words. You sigh as well. Jimin has been so right. Jungkookâll always come around. You search for words to tell him that you understand him. But he continues before you find a single one.Â
âAndâŚâ He begins slowly. âEven though youâre still young and have a lifetime ahead, I believe youâll figure things out. And Iâm not going to let you do it alone. I mean, I know you have Jimin but heâs unbearable sometimes and an asshole so I wonât let you deal with him alone. If youâre jumping into a well then so will I.â
You gape at him. Too stunned to speak. You feel heavy suddenly. You know he doesnât really mean what he said about Jiminâor maybe he does. But whatâs important is that heâs still willing to take your side when all youâre doing is hurting him over and over again. You have to have that talk. âWhy?â You ask through a heavy breath.Â
âWhat do you mean why, Noona?â Jungkook finally withdraws from your personal space. âIsnât that what friends do?â
Friends?Â
Maybe. Probably.Â
Only if thatâs the case for him.Â
âJung-Jungkook.â You mutter his name slowly, mustering the courage in the back of your mind to have this conversation. You donât want to delay it any more. Yet as he looks at you expectantly and you open your mouth, a thunderous voice booms across, startling you to a point you yelp.Â
âIf itâs going to be a girl, Li. Name her Ji-a.â Taehyung replaces Jungkookâs earlier position in front of you. Crowding your space. Not giving a fuck about anything else.
âWhat the fuck?â You question, surprised. Startled.
âYouâre not naming our baby, fucker.â Jiminâs voice, laced with annoyance, comes after a millisecond. You turn your head to find him entering the kitchen.Â
âWhy not?â Taehyung looks back at his best friend with pure disbelief. Still remaining in his position, hands on either side of you like Jungkook had. âJi-a⌠is a good name.â
âAnd your favourite stripperâs name is Ji-a as well.â Jimin snaps.Â
âWhat the fuck!â You bark again. Everybody ignores you.Â
âShut the fuck up before I knock your teeth out, Tae.â Jimin groans as he finally reaches you, ready to drag his friend away from you. Taehyung turns to you before Jimin could.Â
âYou will, right?â Asks from you, instead.Â
âWhy would I do that?â You furrow your eyebrows.
âBecause itâs a good name and you love me, remember?â Taehyungâs boxy grin appears on his face. Okay, maybe you shouldnât have said such things. Not to Taehyung. You try and fail to tell him that the extent of your love for him doesnât stretch that far when he wiggles his brows cheekily, and proceeds, âYou both love me and Iâm going to be that rich uncle whoâs going to be her favorite.âÂ
Jimin takes another step in pure frustration when Jungkook beats him up to it. Being the closest to Taehyung, he easily grabs him by the back of his neck and yanks him back. Away from you. âNow my dear friend,â He shakes his head dramatically. In a threatening way. As if he has no other choice. âI might tolerate you naming the babyâŚbut if you think or want to be her favorite, you got yourself on my bad side.âÂ
A string of shameful curses spill through Taehyungâs mouth as Jungkook begins to drag him away. You exchange a look with Jimin.Â
âDonât worry, Noona, Iâll take care of this intruder.â Jungkook says more dramatically. A hero sacrificing himself for the greater good. You shake your head in defeat as they disappear through the door.Â
âWhy are they convinced itâs a girl anyway?â You ask Jimin once the curses and screamings fade into a distance. Jimin sighs, walking over to you and hopping onto the table next to you.Â
âDonât even ask.â He advises. âItâs Taehyung. Better not to think about why he doesâŚanything he does.âÂ
A small smile appears on your lips. Oh how you adore them. âAnd weâre not going to let him name the baby, are we?âÂ
Jimin looks at you as if you just asked the most ridiculous question to ever be asked. âOf fucking course not.â He gasps. âIâd rather ask a random man on the street than allow him to do that.âÂ
You snort. Unpleasantly. âThat's a lot of faith in your best friend.âÂ
âI donât have faith in him at all.â Jimin says even without a beat. You can still hear Taehyungâs curses and Jungkookâs wicked and crow-like laughter from the distance. You decide you donât want to know whatâs happening there. Jimin changes the direction of the conversation with his next question. âHow are you, Princess? Have you eaten anything?â One of his hands falls into your stomach. Gently.Â
You squeeze your eyes shut. Scrunch up your face, knowing a scolding is coming. And your gesture is answer enough for Jimin. âCâmon babyâŚâ He whines. âYou have to eat something.âÂ
âI knowâŚâ You whine in return. âAnd I will. Itâs too early for breakfast.â
âLemme cook you something, hm?â Jimin ignores your words. Oh heâs being unbearable sometimes. Is fussing. Like a grandma. And now Jungkook is on the scene, you donât know how you'll spend seven more months of this excessive amount of caring.Â
âLaterâŚâ You do your best not to get annoyed. You know he cares. Luckily, Jimin just nods, agreeing with you. Simply hides his face in your neck. Inhales. Deeply. Just smelling you. A small shudder ripples through your body as you nestle into him. He rubs your tummy. With such tenderness that you feel as if youâd explode. Explode from so many emotions. From love. Is it even possible to love someone this hard?
âThey say itâs only after twenty weeks that youâll feel the baby move. AndâŚâJimin speaks into your skin, his breath tingling your skin that gets you curling your toes. âItâs only after twenty fourââ His voice turned indignant. âTwenty fucking four weeks that Iâd be able to feel anything. Can you believe it? How fucking unfair?âÂ
You giggle. Torn between amused and endeared. He sounds genuinely offended. Adorable.Â
âAnd who told you that?â You smell his hair. Fresh. Smells like him. Jimin. Nothing could be compared.Â
âThe internet.âÂ
âOf course.â You try and fail to take a look at his face. âAnd you canât wait until then?âÂ
âObviouslyâŚâ Jimin whines like a puppy, making you giggle harder. âItâs so unfair. I canât wait that long.âÂ
âDonât worry. Time will fly.âÂ
âNot when you want it.â Jimin presses a soft kiss into the spot where your neck meets your shoulder. This time you actually gasp. âI genuinely canât wait.â He kisses you again while rubbing your belly. Sighs. Seems content. Relaxed. With you. And youâre so glad that you finally are able to be close to each other in public. Having nothing to hide. Such freedom. âAnd do you know whatâs crazy, Spring Roll?â He drops his hand to your thigh. You just hum in answer. A silent invitation for him to keep talking. He does. âThat youâre pregnant. Youâre actually fucking pregnant. With my child.â He squeezes your thigh, as if to ground himself.Â
The meaning of his words slowly hits you. Youâve been crazy about breeding. That kink. Well, it was supposed to be just a kink. Now, though, it seems that itâs something more. For Jimin. And maybe for you too. Because you have to bite your tongue to not whimper at the words. You turn your head instantly to see where the boy who works here has gone. Nowhere. He stands there, luckily his back turned to you and his headphones on.Â
You turn back to Jimin as he starts to run his fingers inside your thigh. Teasingly. His lips moving on your skin with a similar sensuality. You tilt your head so he could do it more. Well, how shameless you two are. Seems like you would never learn that lesson.Â
âYeah?â You acknowledge Jiminâs statement at last. âDonât tell me it makes you horny, Park.â You mumble. Something in you is genuinely enjoying the moment and you love to push him sometimes. You expect him to be offended at that. To deny.Â
âIt does.â Instead he admits. âSo fucking much, Lil.â A kiss. âSo much that it hurts.âÂ
Oh!
You gasp. Heâs crazy. You know what heâs doing. Oh you do. Have played his games for too long. Jimin is trying and succeeding in getting you to be a mess. You wonât go in that easily, though. Two can play the game. You tut.Â
âOh, you poor thing⌠What should we do then? Should I take care of you?â You make sure to add a sympathetic lilt in your voice.Â
âThat sounds fucking great,â Jimin inches his hand higher on your thigh. You donât stop him. Just glance at the boy again. He seems oblivious. So you let Jimin cup your heat through the layers of garments separating you from his direct touch. âWhat do you have in mind?â He murmurs.Â
You clench your teeth. A second to compose yourself before you keep playing. âMmm how about sucking you off in the store room?â You glance at the said door. Jimin starts dragging his middle finger up and down between your thighs. Slowly.Â
Fuck!
âI love that, butâŚ.â He raises his head, looking at your face, which you hope isnât flustered and red as a tomato. âItâs not going to be enough, Lil. I think I might not be satisfied until I feel your cunt squeezing my cock.âÂ
You visibly shudder. Oh youâre so grateful that the poor boy has his headphones on and you pray that he might be blasting some loud song in it, so he wouldnât hear a single obscenity that youâre muttering to each other.Â
Jimin is slowly ripping away your composure. Heâs getting closer and closer to having you just like he wants it. All with just his words. Not completely, though. Not yet. You have more fight left in you. âArenât you being such a needy whore, Park Jimin?â
That hits the spot. That familiar darkness of lust crowds his eyes immediately. A small smirk before he admits yet again. âI am, aren't I? I always act like a needy whore around you. So, will you do something about it?âÂ
âMaybeâŚâ You purse your lips in contemplation. An act. Youâd totally do anything he asks you to do. âOnly if you agree to clean me after you use my cunt,â You raise a brow in question. Jimin swears slowly. âWith your mouth of course.â You add. Jimin shuts his eyes with a grin that looks sinful. His tongue peeks out to wet his pink lips.Â
âYou want me to eat my cum out of your cunt?â Then asks at last.Â
âYes.â You breathe. âLike you did during the camp.â
âWith pleasure. Iâll eat every drop.â
âBut thatâs selfish.âÂ
Jimin shakes his head. This time amused. But he picks up what youâre implying. He manages to press his middle finger between your nether lips through all the layers of clothingâwhich you wish are not in his wayâas mutters his next words. âIâll share, donât worry. Iâm a generous person when it comes to you baby.â He adds pressure into his finger, making your leg jerk. âWhich do you prefer, though? Using my fingers to feed you or my mouth?â You whimper, forgetting the character.Â
âM-mouth.âÂ
âCourse you prefer that. Youâre filthy, Spring Roll. Such a nasty slut. God damn it.âÂ
You try to ask him why it would be news by now but he jumps off the table smoothly. Grabs your waist, helping you down as well. âWeâre leaving baby.â Commands. You donât question him. âMy place? Hotel room? Or even upstairs is fine. I donât care. Letâs lock Jungkook out of his own apartment.â He pulls you closer.Â
If itâs like Taehyung, you would've been happy to do so. But Jungkook is a different story. You know that it wonât just piss Jungkook off. Itâd hurt him. âYour place.â So, you answer breathlessly.
âMy place, it is.â Jimin makes no argument. Just turns around to leave while wrapping his fingers around your wrist. But you donât even get to take a step forward when Taehyung barges inside yet again. You curse in your head. Almost ask him âwhat now?â. Yet the look in his faceâserious and troubledâmakes you swallow down your words.Â
âHave you turned off your phone?â Taheyung asks Jimin. Straight to the point it seems.Â
Jimin furrows his brows. âNo.â He answers while fishing out for his phone. Your stomach sinks, the fire that has been burning through you, sizzles into icy water. Your mind starts to blare alarms, picturing many scenarios that have gone wrong.Â
Could it be more photos or videos of you?Â
New photos? Videos?
Has someone tracked you down here?
Jimin presses the button to reveal his lock screen. Being as confused as you are. You peer into his screen. Your brain silences for a second as you notice that the only amiss thing among his notifications are seven missed calls from Seoyeon.Â
Seoyoen!
That canât be good. That sinking feeling intensifies.
âAnd she calls me forâŚâ Jimin looks at Taehyung. Confused. Genuinely so.Â
âLiya is sick.â Taehyung blurts, throwing an apologetic glance your way. âShe has collapsed apparently, during a meeting in Milano. Sheâs been hospitalized and has been unconscious for a day.â Taehyung explains in one breath. Jiminâs expression, however, doesnât change one bit. He gapes at Taehyungâs face as if his friend has lost his mind.Â
âWhat does that have to do with me?â In the end Jimin questions. âAsk her to call Liyaâs family. Why me?âÂ
You watch the way Jimin scowls at Taehyung while a feeling of unease builds up inside you. You donât like this.Â
âBecauseâŚâ Taehyung throws another apologetic glance at you. More of a guilty look youâd say. âWhat happened to her is exactly like what happened to Li. Like you know the chest pain and all. And she is asking to see you. Repeatedly. She had refused to talk to anyone. We thinkâsorry, not me but Seoyeon thinks that she knows something that would help you too, with Li and that woman youâve been looking for. She thinks that Liya has seen or heard something. Maybe she met someone. Sheâs apparently not doing okay and Seoyeon is dead worried. And, and she thinks,â He hesitates. âMaybe you can pay her a visit. See what she has to sayâŚ.â Scratches the back of his neck. âAnd itâd totally be in your favour since she probably knows something.â Adds hastily. âSeoyeon thinks that you owe Liya at least that much.â
Jungkook snickers even before Jimin could say anything. Â
âThatâs stupid.â Jimin mumbles after a second. âI owe her fucking nothing.âÂ
True. He doesnât. They broke up and Liya wasnât hundred percent innocent after all. What Jimin did was still wrong but so was what Liya did.Â
ButâŚbut what if you and she have switched your roles? To think about it now, youâve not been in pain for so long except for your pregnancy symptoms. That bone crushing pain and the hallucinations never came back. What if they have transferred to Liya? No matter what she has done, the last thing you want is to see her suffer. See her wither into dust. All because you and Jimin are greedy. Sheâs wrong but so are you. Youâre the bad guy who stole everything from her. What if sheâs actually dying?
And what if Jimin could help her? If that actually happens to her, neither you nor Jimin will ever be able forgive yourselves.Â
You donât want him to go. ButâŚ
You take a look at Taehyungâs face. It seems he thinks the same.Â
âBut what if this is serious?â So you voice your concerns. The words taste bitter on your tongue.Â
âAnd why should I care?â Jimin frowns at you. âKnowing Liya, Iâm fucking sure this is one of her many tricks. Who knows what she has hidden on her sleeves this time?âÂ
Again, a valid point.Â
âI donât think thatâs the case, Jimin. Not this time. I know Seoyeon, she genuinely sounded scared and serious.â Taehyung reasons. You watch him closely.Â
âShe thinks you owe Liya that much.â
Well, you think Taehyung thinks that he owes Seoyeon this much. A last favour. To amend his sins. As if that would be enough. Taehyung has been fine. More than fine, actually. But who knows whatâs going inside his head.Â
âOr maybeâŚsheâs a goddamn good actress.â Jungkook butts in again. Taehyung doesnât acknowledge him. You gulp harshly. You shouldnât push Jimin. A part of you want to eagerly agree with him and ask him to stay behind. Letting Liya fuck off with whatever thatâs happening to her. But anotherâmaybe stupiderâpart of you feels uneasy. Maybe thatâs the greater part of you.
âCâmon man, just pay a visit. I know Liya is a bitch and she doesnât deserve your⌠anything but what if sheâs actually going to die?â There it is. Taeyung voices it. âBesides, what if she has met with someone? What if she knows the answers? Maybe she has a plan. Maybe sheâll try to make a deal with you. You can deny it. No biggies. All Iâm saying isâŚjust pay her a visit and see whatâs so important that she has to say.âÂ
Jimin clenches his teeth. You know heâs about to ask his friend to go to hell with his opinion. You blurted before he can hurt Taehyung. âItâs okay, Jimin.â You place a hand on his arm. âIf she knows something, this can be our only chance to find a way,â You gesture at your tummy. âWe need to find a way. Soon. I donât trust Liya either but I trust you⌠This is fucking twenty first century for godâs sake. Itâs not like you have to sail through an ocean and spend five months away. You can just go and come back.â You shrug. Jimin looks thoroughly unconvinced.Â
âExactly, itâs not that hard.â Taehyung agrees.Â
âFucking hell, whatâs wrong with you two?â Jungkook grabs everyoneâs attention this time. âWhatâs gotten into you, Noona? What kind of girlfriend would want their boyfriend to go pay a visit to their ex? Why are you doing this?âÂ
âIâm doing this because I donât want to live with such guilt if something happens to her,â You donât mean to raise your voice. Canât help it, though. âThis is her life, and if sheâs in pain like I was, andâŚand if something is happening to her because I chose to stay, then itâs my fault. I donât want that to happen. So, I need to make sure sheâs okay, even though I donât trust her fully as well.â You blurt in one breath. The room falls into a deafening silence following that.Â
Jimin sighs heavily after a long second. He takes your hand in his. Squeezes. âAre you sure?â Asks.
No.Â
You donât even know whatâs going on. But you donât want to risk it either. âYes. Maybe this is how we find the answers.â Yet you say anyway. Another silence. Then Jimin accepts defeat.Â
âFine,â He shrugs. âLetâs see what she has to say, then. Iâll takeâŚtomorrow morning flight.â He looks at Taehyung as he says it. As if any objections would result in him physically beating Taehyung down. Taehyung doesnât say anything but just nods. âAnd Iâll take the next available flight back home.â Jimin says to you. You nod in answer as well.Â
Jungkook curses you all, leaving the kitchen mumbling how itâs too early to drink but how he desperately wants a drink. You stare at Jimin.
Maybe this is a mistake. Maybe you shouldnât have pursued him to go. You donât trust Liya. Besides, even though your claims are valid, you canât deny the fact that youâre a bit jealous. Deep down. But you canât be jealous now can you? Youâre about to be a mom. You have to understand things and act accordingly. Because you have to find answers. And you need a guilty free future. For you. For Jimin. And for your baby. The things youâve already done is enough. No more. You canât handle any more.Â
So, youâll trust Jimin. You can handle your jealousy.Â
For a better future. Yes. You want that future. A normal one.Â
Synopsis â When you are just another iteration of Park Jiminâs girlfriend in a different universe.
Park Jimin Ă Reader
Genre â parallel universe / kind of fantasy/ strangers to ??/ SMUT/ maybe romance/ angst/ fluff /Infidelity
Warnings- Language/ Angst / INFIDELITY /SMUT- rough sex but also safe, loving, caring sex, a little teasing, unprotected sex, dirty talking (a lot), begging, heavy breeding kink. (I'm sure I missed something but yk the drill now anyways.)
Word count- 39K (FUCK!)
a/n- I told ya that these last few chapters will be long... don't say I didn't warn you. (No but really I didn't expect it to be this long). Anyway....like always, I'm exteremly sorry for taking this long to finish up this chapter. I'm planing on finishing this series before starting anything new so, the future chapters won't take this long. I hope you guys are still reading this and will enjoy the story. Thank you so much for the love you've shown babies. I freaking love you all â¤ď¸
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Coffee?
âFuck!â Jimin closes his car door so hard that you flinch. The moment heâs out, he practically storms toward you. You find yourself in his embrace immediately. He pulls away rather quickly. And is checking on you as if heâd find physical wounds on you. âWhat? How?â When he doesnât find any physical harm on you, he grabs your shoulders. âYou didnât sleep? Why didnât you sleep?â He scowls deeply at you.
Heâs still in the same clothes you saw him yesterday before you left the campsite. He looks like he went through hell, fought an army of a hundred alone, and then hasnât eaten anything for ages. He probably has more importantâmuch more important things to get done. Like making sure the vulgar images or videos of himself donât reach every corner of the world. Like making sure that his business doesnât get flattened to the ground over one night. Yet here he is. Just one panicked call from Jungkook and Jimin has flown here.Â
You had only one hour to get your shit together and calm down before he arrived. Calmed down so you wouldnât spook the fuck out of Jimin. He has enough problems to deal with. Yet itâs only working to an extent. Because youâre scared. Scared to death.
You only have seventy two hours in one world. And youâre so close to exceeding that. Itâs certainly more than two days now. Since you went camping and came back. You only have one night left. If you donât shift back into your world after tonight, then that means youâre doomed. Fully. Maybe it has already started. Last time when you stayed more than forty eight hours in this world, Key almost forgot you.Â
Oh fuck! You donât want to think about it.
But the thoughts are plaguing your mind. Would Key worry about you? Sheâs the only person who knows the truth. Would your family look for you? No, they wonât. Youâll be forgotten before they even know that youâve gone missing. The world you lived for almost all of your life will continue to spin and live on. Youâll be forgotten. The next time you see the people you loved, theyâll look at you as if theyâve never seen you before.
Even the prospect alone makes your knees buckle. That paired with the exhaustion you feel, and the non-stop pain in your body, is enough to make you cry like a weeping widow. But you canât. You canât make Jimin worry. Besides, you still have time. Youâll figure this out. Jimin will figure it out.Â
You glance at Jungkook, whoâs standing next to you. Pale. As if heâs seen a ghost.Â
Well, it was like he saw a ghost. You had scared the poor guy half to death. If it wasnât such a scary and critical situation, youâd have made fun of him. Unfortunately, this isnât the time. Not when you're somewhere you shouldnât be.Â
âShe did.â Jungkook answers on your behalf. Itâs not that you want him to do that. You simply donât know how to process things.Â
âWhat?â Jimin furrows even deeper. âWhat do you mean?â He questions Jungkook. Seems a bit annoyed.Â
Jungkook tongues the inside of his cheek as if heâd rather be doing anything but having this conversation with Jimin. âSheâŚâ He inhales deeply. âSlept.â Rephrases his earlier words. Assesses Jimin like heâs the dumbest person Jungkook has ever seen. âLike a baby.â Adds.Â
If the words donât have such a scary meaning behind them, youâre certain Jimin wouldâve picked up a fight with Jungkook right there. Yet he visibly forces to pay his valuable attention to you. Heâs still processing. Still trying to understand whatâs happening.
âNo, but how? I mean why?âŚâÂ
âWe all know why, Mr. Park.â Jungkook answers before you can, again. A tiniest of scoffs leaves him before he turns around and disappears inside Kim's restaurant.Â
It was you who had wanted to meet Jimin outside the restaurant. Well sue you for panicking like a headless chicken. You didnât really know what else to do but see Jimin at the moment . Now, itâs not like that Jungkook doesnât comfort you. He does. Immensely so. And he did when he finally calmed down from his jumpscare. He had stood beside you holding your hair despite all your protests while you threw up. He had hugged you so tight and mumbled that it was okay like it was a mantra. He had made sure that you breathed and didnât die while trying to figure out whatâs going on.
Still, seeing Jimin is quite not the same. No. Jungkook is your home but Jimin is your heartbeat. Itâs an entirely different feeling. A strange kind of comfort. Itâs amazing how you feel safe, as if all your problems vanished into thin air when you just see him. So, of course, you had wanted to see Jimin. Just to be in his arms. In reality, you know Jimin canât solve anything. Heâs just a mere human whoâs as lost as you are. Yet something deep inside you is blindly believing that heâs going to solve it.Â
Jimin glares at Jungkookâs back for a minute. You think Jungkook is being completely unfair right now. Itâs not Jiminâs fault. None of these are. Apparently, Jungkook is in such a mood heâd blame Jimin for global warming, overpopulation, civil wars and everything else without reasoning. And the best you can do would be leave him be. To sulk. And stress. Over you.Â
âDonât mind him. Iâm feeling fine now.â You sigh. Try to hide the discomfort youâre feeling. Donât want to make Jimin worried. He has enough problems going on.Â
Jimin shakes his head. âUgh fuck!â He steps away from you. You miss his warmth right away. âBut heâs right, Lil.â He rakes a hand through his blonde locks. âIf-if youâve slept and if you still haven't gone back to your world, there could be only one reason. Thereâs only one thing that changed." He tips his head back, glancing at the blue sky.Â
Your heart squeezes at the sight of him so worried. Maybe you shouldnât have called him. Maybe you shouldâve let him figure out the bigger problems first.Â
âWe donât know that yet.â You step closer to him. Struggling to smile through your exhaustion. You touch his arm gently. âMaybe I didnât sleep well or this can be aâŚmmmâŚâ You search for the right word. âLike a temporary glitch. Maybe Iâll go back the next time I sleep.â You hope you sound convincing. Itâs hard to do so when youâre not convinced for yourself. Something is not right. You can feel it.
Jimin heaves a heavy sigh, though. A nod follows that. You know you didnât convince him. He just wants to believe it that way.Â
âYeah?â He sneaks his fingers inside your hair this time. Starts scratching your head gently. You lean onto his touch greedily. You had been mad with him when you left the campsite yesterday. But the newest problems have made you forget about that. âYes.â Jimin mutters more to himself than to you. âAll you have to do is sleep again. Youâll be fine.â He kisses your forehead. You donât know who heâs trying to console. You or himself? âOf course youâll be fine.â Adds.
You hum gently in answer. Force yourself to smile. âI already feel way better. Nothing to worryââ
âBullshit!âÂ
You jump at the sudden sound of Jungkookâs voice. He has appeared from nowhere again.
âSheâs sick.â He says to Jimin. âShe fucking threw up again. And she refuses to eat. She. Is. Not. Fucking. Okay!â
You sigh in annoyance. âCan you stop speaking about me like Iâm not here please.â Turn to the man in question. Jungkook just shrugs. You open your mouth to ask him to go brood elsewhere when a new voice interrupts you.Â
âGod, are you okay?â You all turn your heads toward Yuna who gets out of Namjoonâs car. She makes a beeline toward you. âAre you feeling good, now?â Lines of worry adorn her face gently. You nod. Just once. Have no strength to do something more than that.Â
âBut why are you still here? Arenât you supposed to go back?â This time itâs Namjoon who questions, who follows his girlfriend towards you. You frown in confusion. Glance at Jimin. Even though all your friends witnessed what happened to youâwhich is embarrassing, no one had time to explain to them what was really happening.Â
Jimin pinches the bridge of his nose. âSomeone had to explain to them.â Answers your silent question.
âYou used five words to explain shit, Jimin. I need a better explanation.â Yuna huffs. Then adds hurriedly. âAfter you solve your problems, of course.âÂ
You think itâs funny. How youâve been hiding this secret for so long but now everyone is a part of it. No more secrets. Itâs relaxing. Comforting even. Like a heavy weight on your shoulders has eased.Â
Only if you can be happy about it though. They know. And things solved. But at what cost?Â
âYou need to sleep, baby.â Jimin disregards Yunaâs distaste at his lack of an explanation as he turns to you.Â
âI donât think I can.â You mumble. You donât feel sleepy. Exhausted? Yes. Sleepy? No.
âBut you have to try.âÂ
âSheâs so fucking stubborn. Like a fucking goat.â Jungkook groans. Making you glare at him but surprisingly making a faint smile appear on Jiminâs lips.Â
âNow, you see it.â He mutters, earning a glare to himself as well.Â
âYouâre sleeping, Noona, or Iâll fucking knock you out.â Jungkook returns your glare ten times harder. If you werenât so exhausted you wouldâve gasped. Yet the only thing you can manage is a look at Jimin. In disbelief. Silently asking for help. What you get is a shrug.Â
âCanât help you there, baby. You need to sleep.â
You sigh heavily, knowing that you wonât win this argument. Yuna gives you a smile torn between pity and worry before she leaves you alone. Drags her boyfriend with her. Then Jungkook as well.Â
âYou need to sleep, baby. You look so tired.â Jimin places a strand of hair behind your ear.Â
âOkay.â You give up. Maybe you should just listen to him. Maybe thatâll work. Youâll be back in your apartment the next time you open your eyes. Everything will be fine once again. You want to believe that desperately. The nagging feeling inside you, though, isnât allowing you to be at ease. Still, falling asleep will put Jimin at ease. Heâd be able to untangle this mess without having to worry about you so much. So you agree. But there are things you need to know before you go back againâif that happens. âWhat happened with the-uh⌠going public and all that? You still haven't confirmed anything, have you?âÂ
Jiminâs face softens. His eyes gleaming with adoration.
âNot yet.â He says softly. Plays with your hair.Â
Good. Maybe this happened for a reason. Maybe you didnât go back right away so you can convince Jimin to do the right thing.Â
âJiminâŚâ You start. Only to get disrupted .
âNo, Lil. We talked about this. Iâm not changing my mind.âÂ
Oh how stubborn he can be? And he calls you a stubborn goat? You sweep your eyes over his face. He looks dead serious. Decision already made. But you still have to do something. Canât let everything get ruined like that.Â
âWell, if you donât even tryâŚâ You look into his brown eyes. âIâll never be able to forgive myself. Because itâs all my fault.â
âLilâŚâ
You donât let him keep talking. You step away from his hold. Reluctantly.Â
âYouâre right. Iâm exhausted. I should sleep.âÂ
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
Jimin has always been a great multitasker. Heâs been a good decision maker. He has known what to prioritize and how to navigate through hard times. To solve problems. Thatâs how he managed to build a business. Even though he had help with finances, he made it possible because he was capable. Like you said. Still, ever since yesterday, when he found you weeping with pain to this very moment, heâs not been doing a great job at any of the above.Â
There are a million things he should do. Of course, heâs yet again prioritized what matters most. You. You are his priority. Prioritising you wonât mean anything if all he does is sit inside a studentâs apartment and just worry to death, however. He should make sure youâre safe. Thereâs only one way to do it. He hates Jungkookâs attitude and the fact that the kid is right. But Jungkook is right. And Jimin knows it. Thereâs only one thing thatâs causingâwhatever magical force kept you shifting between two worldsâto act up.Â
Still, he canât bring himself to do anything else. No. He canât concentrate on anything else. He needs to be close to you. Has to know that youâre doing fine. At least temporarily. He'd be able to do what he has to do once he makes sure that youâve gone back to your world.Â
Besides, he had decided to give it one last try. Before he loses everything he ever worked hard for. Because he owes his friends at least that much. He owes his company that much. Owes his people. And you.Â
Iâll never be able to forgive myself.
Youâve said.Â
Itâs not your fault. Not at all. But he knows you. Youâll carry the guilt to your tombstone. He has to try. One more time. Salvage what he can. Even a little.Â
âWhat if it doesnât work?â The young man who sits across from Jimin speaks suddenly. Jimin snaps his head in his direction.Â
âWhich part are you talking about?â Jimin raises a brow. Annoyed. As a businessman he knows what risk assessment means. He needs to be prepared. Needs to come up with backup plans. Jungkook is, yet again, making a valid point. Still, Jimin doesnât care about the logic now. No. What he needs right now is a miracle. All the positivity. Hence, his irritation at Jungkookâs question, though he knows the younger one doesn't mean any harm. Jungkook loves you. Thereâs no doubt. Itâs obvious. Except for Jimin, Jungkook would be the other person to let himself bleed to make sure youâre safe.Â
âEvery part of your plan. What if you canât find anything to hold against Kim and turn this in your favor?â Jungkook shifts in his seat.Â
âIâm still going to tell them that it was Lil who was in the video.âÂ
âYour company?â
âWill be damned. And I donât care.â
Jungkook chuckles. Jimin narrows his eyes on him.
âBullshit! You care a lot! But whatever you say, Park. Letâs say you truly donât care and you let your business be damned, but what if it still doesnât work. What if she's still in pain?âÂ
It takes everything in Jimin not to snap. Start a fight.Â
âThatâs a lot of positivity there.â Instead of cursing Jimin grumbles slowly.
âWhat are you going to do, Jimin? Youâre going to find a way? How long would it take? What if she doesnâtââ
âFor fuckâs sake, Jungkook, whatâs your problem?â In the end Jungkook manages to make Jimin snap.Â
âI want her fucking safe. Thatâs my problem.âÂ
âThen fucking do something about it!â Jimin yells aloud before he catches himself. Thereâs no point in fighting with Jungkook. Especially when he knows Jungkook is worried to death as well. âItâs going to work.â So he lowers his voice. Eyes dart toward Jungkookâs bedroom door where youâre currently sleeping. âIt. Is. Going. To. Work.â Repeats himself. More steadily as he gets to his feet. âIf not Iâll find a way.â He doesnât know how. Would rather not think about that now. He doesnât look at Jungook again as he makes it toward the only bedroom in the apartment.
âWill you let her be?â After a long silence, Jungkook speaks up behind him. Jimin stops halfway in his track. âYouâre annoying.â Jungkook adds.Â
Itâs okay. Jimin canât kill someone at this point. He has one too many problems to be able to deal with a dead man.Â
So he opts to flip Jungkook off before making it to the door. Ignores the young man behind him completely. Opens the bedroom door a crack. This is the third time heâs checking on you. The previous two times, youâve been still awake and actually had made Jimin smile when you rolled your eyes exasperatedly.Â
Fuck, he hates that Jungkook is right. Why is he always right? Jimin is being annoying. But can they blame him? Heâs worried. So, so worried. He just wants to know.Â
He prays to every god out there that youâd be gone by now. Funny. He used to pray the other way around. He prayed so hard from every power in the universe that youâd come to him every other day if not every day. He wished so bad that there would be a time where youâd be waking up next to him. That youâd stay beside him forever. Be his.Â
But nothing would matter than your safety though.Â
Man, isnât he in love?
Jimin pokes his head inside first. All his prayers gets shattered immediately once he does. Because there you are. Wrapped in silk sheets. Looking so small even in Jungkookâs double bed. Fast asleep. Breathing so calm.Â
Only if Jimin can be happy, though. Happy that youâre here and safe.Â
He slips inside the room quietly. Like a mouse. Maybe itâll happen a bit later. After all these times, no one has any idea about how and when you travel between the two worlds. There are multiple occasions where Jimin has tried his best to see how it happens. Never succeeded. Apparently, Jungkook has done the same. Yet every time you shift, itâs when either they are asleep or not around. Maybe this will work when Jimin finally lets you be.Â
He will. After taking one look at you. He does that. Maybe a kiss wonât hurt. He can kiss you slowly and gentlyâ
The door to the room bangs open suddenly, sending Jiminâs nerves on fire. He turns around, biting back the curses to find his best friend emerges through the door. Jimin glares at Taehyung before checking on you. You donât wake up. Just stir in your sleep. Mumble something incoherent. Then fall asleep again.
Jimin sighs in relief. Pays his attention back to Taehyung. Taehyung mouths an apology first. Walks in.Â
âSorry but we need you.â Whispers. Thereâs an urgency to his voice but he looks happy.Â
Oh!
Something happened.Â
Judging by Taehyungâs actions, itâs finally something in their favor.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
âFuck this is so fucked up, man.â Hoseok curses. âI was expecting financial dirt. Not fucking murder.âÂ
Murder. Such a weighted word. Jimin feels like his head is spinning so fast that he canât comprehend anything.Â
âNot murder exactly, is it?â The meek voice which raises that question apparently belongs to J. Jimin has no idea what on earth sheâs doing here. Somewhere during his check up on you and Taehyungâs arrival, she had come with food. Namjoonâs motherâs orders. Someone had let her know that youâre sick. Well, itâs good that people think about you. Care about you. Even J herself who has a great distaste about you has come. But she shouldâve left hours ago.
This is a private meeting. These thingsâtheyâre discussing, shouldnât fall into outsidersâ ears. Then what is he doing here? When he has his own company? He can have this meeting or whatever theyâre doing here, anywhere else but inside a college studentâs apartment kitchen. Jimin is so wrecked.
âThen what? Does it look like charity?â Taehyung snaps. J throws a glare at him.Â
âThatâs not what I meant,â She gulps. âHe-I meanââ
âOh for fuckâs sake, J! This is fucking murder. He was fundingânoânot funding but selling weapons, to fucking terrorists for years.â Taehyung gets to his feet. He looks pissed. Rare. But Jimin gets to witness that more and more these days. âAnd what do you think theyâve been doing with the weapons? Gardening?âÂ
J has turned pale. They shouldnât have had this conversation here. Not in front of J. Or Jungkook. The guy, for his credit, however, looks calm. Like he doesnât hear a secret that could possibly end all of their lives.Â
This case is far worse than Jimin expected. Kim Namjoon is a genius. Jimin has no idea how he got his hands on the evidence. For now itâs some leaked documents. Nothing solid but just a beginning. An accident. Thatâs how Namjoon cracked it.Â
Maybe, just maybe, the universe has decided to help Jimin this once. After everything went so badly one after another, something fell into place out of nowhere.
Itâs pure luck that Namjoon happened to be digging up an illegal weapon dealing case. And it must be a favor from God that he already had his suspicions of Kim being a part of it. From there, it hadnât taken him a lot to get something to prove it on his hands. Just loads of luck and a genius mind was all it took for him.Â
Documents just wouldnât be enough, though. They need more proof. Solid proof. Proof that no one can deny or cover up. Because this is no longer just about Liyaâs father. One canât transport illegal weapons through borders without help. Help of significant figures of the country. Powerful enough people who can aid him and then hide his tracks. If this gets out, it wonât be just Kim whoâll be in danger.Â
This is such a perfect opportunity. The best one. Yet they would need more proof.Â
âO-okay,â J finds her voice again. âThen youâd have to bring him to justice, right? Youâd have to file a complaint and-and, what are you guys gonna do with this?â Her wide eyes sweep across every person in the room except Jungkook.
Oh, how naive she is.
Only if this is that simple. Even with more solid proof, itâd be hell to make sure Kim receives a proper punishment. Heâd suffer, yes. Public backlash and dropped revenue. No future and his life would be one living agony. But it wonât be easy. Then, among everything, thereâs one reason why they canât do it.Â
If Kim goes down, they go down with him. They canât afford to lose him. Not right now. Maybe after the launch. Maybe after they make enough revenue and become powerful. More than Kim is. Until then they need him.Â
At their utter silence, J gasps. âFuck! Please tell me youâre not going to hide this from the world and just use it to your advantage.âÂ
Well, Jimin knows very well what heâs doing. Knows how fucked up it is to take this path. Yet when someone else says it aloud, it makes him cringe with guilt. What else can he do, though? Itâs just this or nothing. Choices. Choose this or nothing. Choose you or his business. How unfair? Sue him for trying to save whatâs worth.Â
Nobody says anything in answer to J. Letting the obvious answer hang in the air. J stumbles a step back in disbelief. âOh, you guys are fucking sick.â Her eyes land on her lover. âTell me youâre against this, Jin. You are, right? You wonât let them be so fucking selfish, right?âÂ
âJâŚâ Jin sighs heavily. Almost gets to his feet to reach J when she stops him. His answer is clear.Â
âFuck you!â J bellows.Â
âJ, listen you donâtââ Jin tries again in vain to explain.
âOh, I get it perfectly well. You people are so fucking sick.â She points a finger at Jimin. His throat tightens. âItâs all your fault. This is all because of you. You cheated on your girlfriend first and then now youâre going to blackmail her father so you can keep your mistress and the company both. And youâre turning a blind eye to something wrong. Youâre a fucking prick.â With that she turns on her heels. Leaves. Like a gust of wind.Â
Her words, however, remain in the tight space. Suffocating Jimin. Because every and each word she had said was true. He is a fucking prick. But⌠but he has to do it. Try.Â
Not fair.Â
But he has to anyway.
âI would go after her if I was you.â He forces himself to swallow down the guilt. Pain. As he speaks to the now frustrated Jin. Jin takes a minute. Nods. Nearly does that when Jungkook steps in.Â
âYou should stay.â He murmurs hurriedly, earning confused glances. âTake care of this.â Jungkook generally gestures at the area. âShe is my best friend. I know how to knock sense into her.â Despite his words, he doesnât sound very sure about that either. Jin nearly shakes his head in disagreement when Namjoon catches his arm.Â
âJust let Kookie do it. She doesnât listen, you know that.â He pats Jinâs arm. Jin hesitates for a second then nods. Jungkook immediately disappears after J.Â
Well, itâs not Jiminâs place to poke his nose in his friendsâ relationships. He isnât qualified to do it anyway. All he can do is wish that Jin never will be in a position like him. Having to choose between two things he loves. Pray that J would understand. That Jin wonât suffer. All because of him. He created this mess.Â
For another long second nobody says anything. Hoseok is the one who takes the conversation back on track.Â
âOkay, so⌠what are we gonna do?â He chooses his words carefully. Probably not wanting to pressure Jimin. Well, Jimin is already too deep in this shit. He has no other way around but to climb out of this hell hole. Slowly. Would be fucking painful. Still this is the only way. Heâd be the bad guy. As long as you stay by his side, he'll be happy to be so.Â
He takes a deep breath. âWeâre going to blackmail.â Says. Nobody looks surprised.Â
âWould this be enough though?â Namjoon taps the documents on the table. They are a bunch of shipping manifests. Exported under the name of several subsidiaries of the Kim conglomerate. The goods vary from luxury goods to farming equipment. But the red flags are the destinations. Countries with active terrorism and civil wars. Not enough. But thisâll have to do.Â
âNo.â So, Jimin answers truthfully. Again, no one is surprised.
âThen whatâs the plan?â Jin scratches his chin. Looks like a predator.Â
âWe have the leverage of uncertainty, donât we?â Jimin raises his brow.Â
âYou mean, weâre going to act like we have more?â Hoseok scowls at the papers on the table.
âYes.â Jimin states clearly and loudly. âUntil of course, we find more. Find actual solid evidence thatâd be enough to put him behind bars. Evidence he canât hide or deny.â Adds. Glances at Namjoon. He understands Jimin right away.Â
âWant me to keep digging?âÂ
âYes.â
âUnder what arrangement?âÂ
Here they go. Maybe thisâll make Jimin even more of a pathetic asshole. Even more prick. Now J is absolutely correct. Jimin is about to become a part of this crime. They all are. By just knowing it and doing nothing. And then blackmailing Kim into helping them under the promise of keeping things under wraps, and doing the opposite afterwards? Thatâs so fucked up, that Jimin wonât be able to look at himself.Â
But in the end, they are still choices. Not the best ones but heâd still do it. Because he has to.Â
âYouâll publish that article with undeniable evidence. Youâll do the right thing and put a stop to it.â Jimin gets to his feet. Namjoon nods. Thereâs no need to shake hands to seal their deal. Itâs a deal. The rest of his friends stay silent except Jin.Â
âIf you were gonna do that, you should've told J sooner.â He gives Jimin a look.
âNo,â Jimin shakes his head. âNo one should know. Itâs too fucking risky. TheyâJ and Kook already know too much. Enough to put their lives in danger. And we canât have anyone knowing that weâre bluffing. Can't let Kim know that we wonât stick to our promise.â Jimin looks Jin dead in the eye. âKeep it shut, Hyung. I know itâs hard but for everyoneâs sake, just donât let her know.â He grabs the papers on the table. âNow if you excuse me, I have a plan to execute.âÂ
He walks over toward the door. Heâs a prick through and through. If there was at least a part of him that stayed honest, good, and pure, thisâll make that part disappear as well.Â
Jimin stops briefly before Jungkookâs bedroom door. Behind that door is you. Heâll do the worst for you. He turns around to glance behind where he just came from. Where his friends are. He is doing this for them. For you. If itâs going to make him a monster then so be it. Heâll gladly become that monster. For you. Heâll become the worst of himself over and over again. To make sure youâre safe and in no pain. To make sure youâre his. That you keep staying his.Â
Maybe love isnât supposed to be this. Maybe to the world love is being selfless and pure. But for Jimin, love is selfish. Love is greed. Love is sacrificing everything else, including himself. For him, love is just you.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
Sixty two hours.Â
Youâve been in Jiminâs world for that long. Your little nap had not worked. And youâre not even surprised. Somewhere deep down inside you, you had known that a simple nap won't solve the problem like that. Yet it hasn't stopped you from hoping. Expecting. That it would miraculously work.Â
It didnât.Â
Thatâs how you find yourself curled up on Jungkook's couch. Still in pain. Itâs like the pain has become a part of you. Reverberating through your veins. You fear that it might never leave you. You still feel nauseous. The only cup of coffee you requested from Jungkoo earlier, is threatening violently to leave your body. Itâs a struggle to keep it down. You feel so tired. So, so tired. Youâre doing your best not to think about the ticking clock. About what might be happening in your world right now.Â
It wonât do any good to worry about that anyway. All you can do is hope for the best. That you would be able to go back before itâs too late.Â
Then to add more to your misery, three things had happened after you woke up from your nap. First, Jimin had already left, making you feel like a kid who awakened to find their mother not in sight. Second, Jungkook had informed you that they wereâJimin mainlyâ going to do it. Let the world know that he cheated on Liya with you. Third, Jungkook, again had let you know that Jimin and the boys had finally found something to hold against Liyaâs father, which he refused to tell you. Something about it being a secret for your own goodâ bullshit.Â
Now, the anticipation and the anxiety of uncertainty, not knowing whatâs happening is draining the energy out from you even more.Â
âWhyâs nothing there yet?â You mumble more to yourself, refreshing the news website youâve been looking at for more than an hour. Yet you found nothing new. Anything and everything related to the name Park Jimin is regarding the events of the previous night. Maybe youâre being stupid. All three of youâsurprisingly, J had stayed with you and Jungkook despite her great distaste toward you, and is currently doing the same thing as you and Jungkook. Scrolling through her social media and news and gossip sites. Maybe youâre looking in the wrong place. Being the kids of the internet. Stupid.Â
âProbably, they havenât done anything yet.â J sighs. Gives up. Places her phone gently on the coffee table. Jungkook copies her actions. But instead of placing his phone away gently, he throws it away somewhere carelessly.Â
âOr maybe they did and no one is giving a fuck. Maybe,â He turns to you. âMr. Park isn't that much of a big deal as you think.â Gives you a wicked smile. You pout involuntarily.Â
âI never said heâs a big deal,â You muster the energy to speak. Hell, speaking feels like a battle. âHe is just⌠him⌠just Jimin.âÂ
And a CEO. A man who built an empire for himself with nothing. A man who works hard. A man whoâs operating a business that large, like it's as simple as sleeping. A man who deserves the world, even though he doesnât believe so. A man capable of many things. A man with a beautiful heart. The most beautiful human creature youâve ever seen. Most importantly the man youâre blindly in love with. He is Park Jimin. Your Park Jimin.Â
Oh he is the biggest deal.Â
Yet you donât say that aloud.Â
âWell, I hope your just Jimin would do whatever heâs doing quickly so you wonât die from starvation.â Jungkook glares at you. You roll your eyes.
âDonât be dramatic, Kookie. Iâm fine.â
He scoots closer to you. Bends down to stare at your face closely. He is sitting next to your curled figure on the couch. âYou are not fine, Noona. Youâre starved.â You try to hide beneath the throw blanket which you had wrapped around you earlier. Jungkook doesnât let you. He catches the blanket, not allowing you to pull it over your face. âCâmon, letâs eat something. Iâll make you Budae-jjigae, hm? I promise youâll feel ten times better with a full tummy.â Comes closer to you until the tips of your noses gently touch.Â
You bring a weak hand to push him away, rolling your eyes. Dramatic. âLater.â You pout. Jungkook opens his mouth probably to scold you but the sudden ringing of Jâs phone saves you. Jungkook straightens up. You glance at the phone on the coffee table. Lighting up with an incoming call. Caller ID reads as âOther Jâ and a red heart next to it. Without a doubt you know who that is.Â
A sense of dread fills you. Paired up with excitement. This could be news. Maybe Jin is calling her to let her know what happened. You lift your heavy head up in anticipation, waiting impatiently until J picks up the phone.Â
She picks it up from the glass table. Flips it upside down. Places it back with the back side of the device facing up.Â
No, what?
Sheâs obviously not going to pick up the call. Sheâs ignoring the call. Why? Did they fight? You stare at her in confusion while Jungkook sighs.Â
âSeriously?â He questions J, exasperatedly.
âNot now, Jungkook.â J dismisses him even before he can even start questioning properly. âI donât want to talk with him right now.â A strange tension brews in the air. You almost clear your throat awkwardly when J, fortunately, shifts the conversation elsewhere. âSince we donât have any updates yet, we should focus on something else.â She says matter of factly.Â
âYeah? Like what? Oh, how about learning how not to be fucking stubborn? Both of you can do with such important lessons.â Jungkook snickers. His gaze slides between you and J. Only if you have the energy to bring your hand up and show him the middle finger.Â
âFunny.â J lets out a fake laugh. Ignores Jungkookâs snide. âWould be very valuable but Iâm in a mood to learn something else, so you can fuck off.â She turns his attention to you. âLike learning about another world.â
Oh, thatâs kind of unexpected. Youâre not her favorite at the moment. So you never expected her to have a conversation with you even if itâs regarding something interesting like parallel worlds.Â
You gulp and gather up your strength to talk back. âWhat-um-what do you wanna know?âÂ
âI wanna know everything, but as a start⌠umâŚI want to know if you ever met the other versions of someone else. Like, youâre obviously the alternate version of Miss Liya, right?â She looks at you expectantly. You nod in answer. âThat means we all have our other versions, right? In your world? Like you?âÂ
âIt should be⌠I mean, Iâve never met anyone else I know. Not there, not here.â You give her a tight lipped smile.Â
J clicks her tongue in disappointment. âThat sucks. Have you ever tried to find anyone? What about Jimin? Or Kookie?â She inspects her friend. You follow her gaze first then nod this time.
âI have, I tried to find Jimin when this whole thing started at first but I couldnât. Then I tried to look for almost all of you with Keyâmy best friend, but we failed.â You try to hide the pang of the memory of Key causes in your heart.Â
It would be fine.
Youâll be fine.Â
Youâll definitely have many more moments like that with Key. Like how you and her had combed the internet looking for a bunch of beautiful strangers one night.Â
Of course you will.Â
âHow come?â J inquires you again.Â
âWell you know that Liya and I arenât the same. I mean we are the two versions of one person but we have our differences. Like sheâs older than me and she has rich parents. Even our names are different.â You explain the obvious. âSo, youâI mean the other you could be anyone, she could be living anywhere in my world, not in South Korea. And her name could be anything. She could be younger than you, older than you or maybe not even born yet.â You shrug. Youâre not an expert in this matter by any means. These are things youâve learnt during your extensive research and your own assumptions.Â
J nods. Then chuckles. Softly. âWell, I hope sheâs older than me. I hope she didnât make the same mistake as I did and decided to pursue a stupid degree in economics. I hope she started her own business at sixteen and got successful, andâŚâ She throws a longing glance at her phone. âAnd I hope she met Jin in that universe too. And that they got to live an extraordinarily normal life. Normal fucking life.â She ends her rant in a heavy sigh.Â
You scowl deeply. Whatâs wrong with them? Why would she say such depressing things? You, however, donât get to voice the question when Jungkook takes the chance.Â
âAnd you call me dramatic?â He asks from you first. Then says to J, âYou donât have to wish for the other you when you can have it for yourself. Just call the damn guy, J.âÂ
You donât know what happened. Maybe itâs personal. But the more they talk between themselves, the more you feel left out and uncomfortable.Â
âI will,â J huffs. âNot now. Itâs not that easy.â
Jungkook rolls his eyes almost back inside his head.Â
âWhat about you?â J prevents Jungkook from saying anything else with that question. âWhat do you want your other version to be?âÂ
You perk up at that. Weird how you and Jungkook havenât had this conversation before. Jungkook, though, stills. Completely. Utterly. As if J had asked him about the most painful story of his life. A minute passes. Then two. Jungkook still says nothing. His eyes slowly land upon you. And your patience snaps. You nudge him with your foot, which he grabs instantly.Â
âCâmon tell us.â So you urge him verbally. âIâm curious now. Do you want him to be⌠popular? What about an actor? Singer? Or a vlogger, like Yoongi?âÂ
Jungkook keeps his eyes on you. Stares into your soul. You suddenly feel small. An uncomfortable weight presses on your chest. A weight you canât pinpoint. Jungkookâs eyes have turned dull. Hollow. Like heâs in pain. Not physically like you but like his heart is aching. Deeply. Itâs like you can hear his pain. Then he finally speaks. His gaze turns away from you. You nearly sigh in relief.
âAh, I donât know,â A small smile spreads across his lips. Sad. Sad that your throat tightens at the sight. âI just want him to be happy.â He shrugs. Something sharp stings your heart.Â
Why?Â
Why do you feel this way?
Why would he say that?
Itâs even more depressing than what J said. Even though he didnât use much more than ten words. You can feel the weight in those words. Feel the pain.Â
No but why?
âYah!â You try to kick him this time but he holds your foot tight. âWhy would you say that? Itâs like this version of you is not happy or something. Who broke your heart, Jeon.â You pout. Then that pout disappears when J scoffs.Â
âYes? Who broke your heart, Jeon?â She repeats your question to Jungkook. But with a knowing look in her eyes. Those eyes sweep past you for a second. You freeze.Â
No, it canât be.
For a minute, you forget your pain. Exhaustion. Suddenly, your brain starts to put things together. Clicks things into places. Goes through every moment you have spent with Jeon Jungkook up to this moment. From the very first day you met him.Â
Jâs voice rings inside your head. From the day you met them in that club.Â
âAre you a couple?â
âOh, he isnât sad that he lost the betâŚâ âHeâs sad that youâre taken.â
You thought it was just an attraction. Sexual definitely. But it mustâve gone away.Â
But what if⌠what if, thatâs not the case?
Every smile of Jeon Jungkook. Every look. Every darn minute he was there. For you. Taking your side. Backing you up. Even bringing you into his home. Taking care of you. Worrying so much about you.Â
Thatâs just because heâs a friend. Right? You had believed it was the case.Â
All of a sudden, it makes sense why he was so mad that one day when you admitted you liked Park Jimin. You thought he was just looking after you. It makes sense why he was mad yesterday, before everything went off. He wasnât just mad. No, he was hurt. You see it now. The pain, the heart break.
No, no, noâŚ. It canât be.Â
You donât want it to be. Because he is Jungkook. Jungkook whoâs so dear to you. Because you love him in your own way. Not like you love Park Jimin but you love Jeon Jungkook. And the thought that youâd lose him pains you. You donât want that to happen. Donât want to be the person who breaks his heart. Selfish, maybe. But you want this to be a lie.Â
Yes, maybe itâs not the case at all. Maybe youâre reading too much into it.Â
How could you not have felt it before?
You had kissed him. You had pleasured him and had let him do the same. And he had sworn that it happened because of the alcohol. He told you it was just the fucked up emotions which followed the events of the night. Right? But what if⌠what if he just spewed the lies you wanted to hear.Â
Heâs Jeon Jungkook, after all.Â
You clench your fists on the throw blanket. Just like how Jungkookâs hand on your ankle tightens. You feel lightheaded. Your heart is beating madly. Not in a good way, no. This is scary.Â
No, you donât want it to be.
âJâŚâ Jungkook grunts. A warning glare is thrown at Jâs direction. His hand on your leg tightens even more.Â
No, itâs not that. Youâre just reading too much into it.Â
J shrugs. âWhat? I just asked a question. She can ask but I canât?âÂ
No this is not it. Yes.Â
Why would you have to realize things now? Why would your brain have to understand things that youâve been oblivious to for so long? You can do without this knowledge just fine. Maybe you should do that. Pretend that you donât see it. Understand it. Act dumb. Itâd be all good then. Yes. Selfish. But itâd be okay. Jungkook will be okay. He will. So will you.Â
Jungkook doesnât say anything in reply to J. So, J speaks again. âAnyway, you know what? I guess I understand what you said now.âÂ
Jungkookâs face doesnât loosen a little bit. He keeps glaring at his friend. Yet question her statement. âWhat?âÂ
âYou know, how it wasnât fair that some people get to have it easy and others have to go through hell. I get it nowâŚâ She glances at her phone again. âIt is not fair how some people donât even get to wish.â She looks back at Jungkook. He sighs.Â
âCall him.â Groans. J ignores him. Pays her attention to you.Â
âHow do you do that?â Asks. You look at her with wide eyes. Confused.Â
âHuh?âÂ
âLove him when you know heâs doing something so wrong?â J clarifies her question. âI wouldâve thought you were a gold digger butââ
âFor fuckâs sake, J!â Jungkook yells, interrupting J. Itâs her time to roll her eyes.Â
âLet me fucking finish, will you?â She clicks her tongue. âButâŚâ Starts again. More stern this time. âConsidering youâre risking your life for him, to stay here⌠I guess you love him so damn much. So, how do you do that when you know heâs cheatingâsorry, cheated on his girlfriend.âÂ
You wince at the word cheating. Bitter truth always hits worse. Yet thereâd be no way of avoiding that. Avoiding what you and Jimin had done. You take a shuddering breath. At least J has changed the conversation. Which is good.Â
âWell, Iâm no saint either, am I? I knew what he was doing and I still encouraged him. I knew he was t-taken but I still did what I did.âÂ
Jungkookâs hand on you tightens even more. You try your best not to glance at him. Or take your foot away from his grasp.Â
âFair enough.â J nods. Leans back in her chair. Takes a minute. âWould you still love him even if he does something even worse?âÂ
You scowl. âLike what?â
âI donât know⌠like something that would make the whole world hate him. Something that is so, so bad? And not even for you. What if he does something bad and wrong just for his own selfish reasons. Just for him.âÂ
Like whatever theyâre doing right now to save the company. Like whatever theyâre holding against Liyaâs father.
Oh, youâre not that stupid. Now you know what theyâll do to keep the business, would be wrong. So wrong. You donât have to learn their plan to know that much. Theyâll ruin Kimâs life. Or maybe in return Liyaâs. Or maybe they wonât. Maybe Kim deserves whatever they are doing. Nonetheless, itâd be wrong. Yet, the answer for Jâs question comes to you rather easily.Â
Of course, you will.
You will continue to love him. You donât know what the future will hold for you. If you are to think, you can come up with a million different what ifs. Maybe the future will hold something scary. Maybe all these things you did, will come to bite you back in the ass. But one thing is clear. Anything will be so worth it. Any pain. All the tears. Will be worth it. Worth every minute you spent with Park Jimin. Worth every minute youâll spend with him. His every smile and every touch. Every single word that leaves his lips.
âI will,â You mumble softly. Feel Jungkookâs gaze on you. You do your best to keep your eyes on only J. âEven if itâs so selfish. Honestly, I donât care if itâs selfish, J. I just want him to be happy in any way he want. Iâm probably so fucking stupidââ
âNo youâre not.â Jungkook interrupts you. Makes you look at him in the end. Heâs scowling at you. Your heart squeezes. He has to stop doing that. Has to stop taking your side when he knows youâre in love with someone else. Well now you know what J meant when she asked Jungkook to do that at the camp. You struggle to hold his gaze full of adoration as he continues. âThis whole conversation is stupid. Not you,â He turns to J. For your immense pleasure. âYou said you wanna know about her world, J. Trust me thereâs plenty to know and youâre just wasting your time. Iâll give you half an hour before she crashes out again.âÂ
âYah!â You in vain try to kick him again. âIâm not a baby.âÂ
He ignores you. âListen,â Continues to talk with J. Leans forward for more emphasis. âWould you fucking believe they donât have Kavons.âÂ
âFuck me!â J snaps her head to you. âWhat in a cursed world do you live?âÂ
You gasp. Good. This is great. See, Jungkook is yet again saving you. âWe have plenty of others.â You play along. You and Jungkook have had this conversation millions of times before. Apparently, Kavons is a famous car brand that J and Jungkook would die for. âBetter ones in that case.â You add.Â
âBullshit!â They both chant in unison.Â
âAnd imagine having to grow up without ever listening to the Midnight Symphony.â Jungkook adds. This time J gasps so aloud that you think she got a heart attack.Â
âNo fucking way.â She mumbles to herself in disbelief.
âImagine having to grow without knowing Selena Gomez, orâŚor Taylor Swift.â You argue back.Â
âWho are they? Sounds boring.â J shakes her head in disappointment. Okay, thatâs your cue to get into full defensive mode. So, you do. Forgetting the rest of the world. Problems and all. And the pain.Â
Soon itâs just three young people arguing over nothing. Laughing. And you learn one thing.Â
You never want to lose this. Itâs not just Jimin. No. You love this life.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
Nothing changed.Â
Nothing except chaos. Utter, pure chaos since the first article of R.U.N Holdings addressing the issues relating to their CEOâs leaked images and videos, hit the public. Claiming that the man in the video is him, but the woman there isnât Kim Liya, whoâs supposedly his girlfriend. Theyâve gone with the same lie. Twins.Â
And the internet and people had started doing their thing. Half are chewing Jimin between their sharp teeth and spewing the remnants away as if he were nothing but a nasty gristle. Blaming him and demanding he get what he deserves. Fair maybe. Then there is the other half who is sympathizing. For various reasons. Starting from Liya being a little bitch to ending in speculations that he never dated her at all. Claiming that it has been you from the very start and everything being a strategy. Like a PR stunt. Yet most people have been tearing Jimin and the rest alive with their words.Â
Thatâs the only thing. No matter how many naps you had taken, you woke up in Jungkookâs apartment each time. And slowly but surely the clock had ticked. Minutes have passed into hours before you can process it.Â
Then itâs beenâŚseventy eight hours.Â
Seventy eight!
âŚâŚâŚ..
You sit in Kimâs kitchen. Gaping at your empty lap. Eyes teary yet doing your best to keep them at bay. Youâve fucked up. You canât stop the bobbing of your leg. When you wanted to keep staying in this world, you always planned to just shift between two worlds. You never thought about giving up on one. Not this quickly anyway. You thought you had time. Now when itâs happening, you feel like drowning.Â
Theyâve probably forgotten you.Â
Your mom will never look at you with love again.Â
Your father will never call you his daughter again.
Your sister will think she grew up alone.Â
Key will find a new friend.
Chan will find a new employee.
AndâŚ. And⌠if youâd be able to go back⌠if⌠that happens⌠youâll go back to a world where nobody knows you.Â
Only if it works.
What if it never works.
God, you canât breathe. Itâs too much. Itâs too scary. Your head is spinning. The toast Jungkook had forced you to eat is milliseconds away from making a reappearance. Jungkook and J are still here. They never left. Yoona has shown up somewhere during your second restless nap. You have given up trying to sleep after that.Â
You donât know what to do. Where to go. Who to talk with. You donât know. You just donât knoâ
âSpring Roll.âÂ
You raise your head instantly. The tears youâve been trying so badly to keep in, fall from your burning eyes, clearing your blurred sight. And youâre met with the only person who can make it better at this moment.Â
âJimin.â You sob aloud, rising to your feet. He doesnât let you come to him. The moment you stand up, he storms toward you. âJiminâŚâ You cry out one more time quietly before his arms wrap around you protectively.Â
âI know, baby,â He kisses your hair. A featherylight kiss. Yet enough to calm you down. You canât pretend to be fine anymore. No. Youâre not fine. You allow yourself to weep onto his crisp-white shirt. âIâm sorry.â He mumbles. Coaxes. The only thing that does, however, is making you cry harder.Â
âIt didnât-didnât work,â You manage through your broken sobs. âI-I-I tried to sleep butââ
âShh... itâs okay, love. I know. Itâs okay.â Jimin interrupts you. You donât listen. No. You have to tell him. Everything.Â
âB-but it didnât work and-andâŚâ A fresh wave of tears cut you off. You sniff heavily before piecing the words you want to let out together again. âItâs been more than seventy-seventyâ JiminâŚâÂ
âFuck!â Jimin curses aloud. His arms around you tighten like iron coils. As if to protect you. Protect you from whatever invisible force youâre fighting against. To protect you from the world. âSpring Roll,â His voice comes out thick. Hoarse. You try to pull away from him. To take a look at his face. You only get a glimpse of red eyes when he crushes you back into his chest. âWeâll find a way.â Says as one of his hands goes to the back of your head.Â
âWe will.â He repeats. As if he can hear your thoughts. âI will. I promise, I just⌠fuck, Lil..â This time heâs the one who withdraws. Just to grab your face in his palms. âI will, do you hear me? Iâll⌠Please donât cry. Youâre sick, Princess. Donât cry, itâll make it worse. Iâm gonna find a way.â
Your cries break in harder. You canât see through the tears. Canât breathe through the pain. Youâre so grateful for his hold. His touch. The only thing thatâs keeping you safe. You know there are other people in the kitchen. People who work at Kimâs. All of whom probably know what you did. People who are judging you. And Jimin. You consider yourself lucky that Namjoonâs parents hadnât banned you from entering their business place ever again. You had wanted to get out of Jungkookâs apartment but going out seemed like too much. Hence, your reasons to end up here. In your defense, you havenât expected to see Jimin.Â
âFuck, baby pleaseâŚâ Jimin begs. His hands work frantically to wipe your tears away. âPlease trust me once moreâŚâ
Of course, you trust him. With all you have.Â
You want to say that but the words fail you.Â
âI promised you Iâll turn the world upside down, didnât I?âÂ
You manage to nod. Weak.Â
âIâll do it. Iâll find a way to make this right again. Until then, can you pleaseâŚâ He lifts your head up. To meet his eyes. âLook at me⌠I want you to promise me that youâll stay strong until that? Can you do that? Do you trust me to do that?âÂ
Jimin looks wrecked. Looks so hurt. He did what he could, didnât he? He ruined his entire public image. Just to make sure youâll be fine. Yes, he may have gotten Liyaâs father to keep his shares in his company and do whatever they do in business sense. That does ko nât let his company go unharmed. Doesnât let him be unharmed. Heâs done everything he could. And youâre hurting him even more. You need to get a grip.Â
A beat passes while you try to muster the strength to calm down. To answer him. Then you nod again. Jimin keeps looking at you expectantly.Â
âYes? Youâll trust me?â Asks.Â
Another nod. Then the one word follows. âYes.â
Jimin pulls you back into his embrace. âThank you.â He breathes. âThank you, Love. Weâll figure it out.â You let yourself calm down. Let yourself drown in his familiar scent. And to be flown away into a land of hopes. Just him and you. No worries. Safe.Â
Just you and him.Â
Youâll figure it out.Â
You will.Â
Jimin will.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
Time is slipping through Jiminâs fingers even before he can comprehend it. Itâs been two days since he found you broken and scared in a restaurant kitchen. Since he promised you that heâll figure this out. Even when he had said that, he didnât know what to do. But he had to console you. Couldnât just stand seeing you cry.Â
Currently, his best possible options lie with that old woman who you once met at Namiseom Island. Heâs been looking for her all this time to no avail. Just like how it has been with others who came to warn you, torment you, or help you, that woman had vanished off the face of the earth
Or maybe heâs just an incompetent fool. He hadnât been able to find anything useful on Kim either. If it wasnât for Namjoon, he mightâve lost it all by this time. He had the money and power yet he had to seek help from someone else. Maybe heâs not fit to be a CEO or a lover to a girl who fell from a star.Â
Maybe he should ask for help from Namjoon. Maybeâ
âI hope youâre happy now.âÂ
The familiar voice behind him makes him go still. His fingers unconsciously tighten around the second glass of whiskey heâs been having within that half an hour. Jimin doesnât turn around right away. Keeps his gaze out through his apartment window for an extra long minute. Despite the fact that he had been the one who requested this meeting slash talk, he feels like he has no strength to go through it.Â
Of course he has no strength. He canât remember the last time when he ate something properly, slept soundly, or had a proper bath. Heâs drained. Yet he has to have this conversation.Â
Liyaâs not been to their once shared apartment since the havoc broke out. Jimin has no idea where she stayed. Could be anywhere. She has the money to do anything she wants. Not that Jimin cares that much anyway. As bad as it sounds. Though, he believes that heâs required to talk with Liya face to face. End things the adult way.Â
He turns around finally. His eyes landing upon the split version of the woman he loves. The woman who shared five years of his life. The woman who has the same eyes, same smile but somehow manages to look nothing like you.Â
She looks no different than Jimin. This is the first time he sees those purple smudges beneath her eyes. She looks as if she had aged within one night. Nonetheless, she wears an expression of steel. Head held high and eyes full of hate. Yes, that's hate. Hundred percent hate. Making her eyes glint.Â
âDo I look happy?â Jimin doesnât want to fight. Doesnât want to be rude. He has no right to be so. Liya might be partially wrong. Her intentions mustâve been ill yet Jimin is the one who had done something wrong. He is the one who had cheated. Who had been unfaithful. Not Liya. Their relationship was broken a long time ago. They couldnât have found the shattered pieces even if they had tried. They couldnât have fixed it. Yet Liya never disrespected Jimin the way he did. Heâs to blame and he has no right to fight. Hence the softness in his voice despite his words.Â
The glint in Liyaâs eyes brightens at that. She smiles. A very venomous smile. âWell, judging by the way you look, I guess it didnât work?â Her voice is calm. As if theyâre talking about the weather. âAfter you ruined everything. Your life, my life, and almost my whole family, it didnât work?âÂ
Jimin steps away from the window. Walks over to the nearby pedestal to put away his glass. Thatâs enough alcohol to make this conversation. âOh, it worked.â Says matching Liyaâs tone of voice. And he isnât lying. Liya doesnât know that youâre stuck in this world. Sheâs referring to the pain, which you had just claimed in this morning to be turning bearable. The only relief Jimin has.Â
Despite her best efforts, the glint in her eyes dim as she says, âGood for you then.âÂ
âYes. Good for me.â Jimin answers for the sake of it.Â
Heâs not going to fight.
Heâs going to do this the adult way.Â
Liya assesses him for a long second. Then asks the very question he knew she would ask. âHow did you do that?âÂ
âDid what?â Yet he plays dumb.
âYou know what, Jimin. How did you manage to convince my father to keep supporting you when you ruined my life?â
So she doesnât know.Â
Jimin always wonders about that. About Liya knowing about the weapon dealing. He doesnât want her to know. Doesnât want her to be a part of that.Â
âMaybe your father likes me.â Jimin steps around her question. Wonders what sheâd say if she knew the truth, however. Would she be mad at him or his father?Â
The talk with Mr Kim had gone as good as it could be. Yet apparently Jimin is a better actor than he thinks. Somehow and someway he had managed to convince Mr. Kim that theyâve got more solid evidence in their hands. The luck would have it that he hadnât asked to see them all. Probably out of fear. Fear of knowing how deep the problem runs. In the end, they had made a deal. Just like Jimin wanted.Â
Liya only scoffs. Fair. They both know that wonât be the case in a million years. Kim never liked Jimin. The only reason why he helped him was Liya.Â
âI hope you know that whatever you did isnât going to go well with you, Jimin. You canât defeat him.â Liyaâs voice holds so much confidence. Too much perhaps. âI donât know what you did but I know my father will fix it.âÂ
Oh he knows. Heâs no fool to believe that Kim would sit back and be Jimin's puppet. He must be hunting for whatever evidence Jimin has. Heâll make sure to turn the tables. Or heâll try to do so. This is a dangerous game Jimin is playing.Â
âLetâs see about that, shall we?âÂ
They hold their gazes for a second. No yielding. Until Liya shrugs. Cocky.Â
âSo, to what do I owe the honor of visiting you?â Liya steps closer to him. Just a little bit. Changes direction of the conversation to the right way. Jimin tries to answer her question but she starts speaking again. âOh, lemme guess. Are you gonna apologize, Park Jimin? Say youâre sorry that you did it and all those bullshits? Be a good person?âÂ
Jimin winces at her words because thatâs exactly what heâs about to do. That and the end. End of their story.
âGuess what, Park Jimin? Save all that bullshit. I donât wanna hear it and nor do I want to make you feel any less miserable. You deserve to rot in hell.â She bites. Eyes full of so much hatred that Jimin is positive he would be able to see the darkness surrounding her if itâs possible.Â
He sighs heavily. âI know.â Mumbles. Liya scoffs.Â
âThen this meeting was such a waste of time. You shouldâve wasted that time with your new biââ
âKim Liya!â He doesnât deserve to fight. Liya has all the rights to blame him, disrespect him. But not you. No. Youâre as wrong as he is but he doesnât care. Even if youâre the most evil person in the world, heâs still going to defend you.Â
Liya closes her mouth. A sheen glosses over her eyes for the first time, as she gently gnaws on her bottom lip. âYouâre a pig, Jimin.â Says oh so softly.Â
âWorse. Iâm much worse than that, Liya.âÂ
âStop!â Liya closes the distance between them in a blink. A pointed finger jabs into Jiminâs chest painfully. âStop trying to act like you regret what you did, Park Jimin.â Yells. Looks as if sheâs at the verge of breaking down. âStop pitying me! I donât want your goddamn pity. I-IâŚoh, youâre such an ungrateful jerk, Park Jimin.â She clenches her teeth so hard that Jimin fears she might break them. âI was there for youâŚâ She continues. âI was there for you when you had nothing, Jimin. When you were nothing. Not some college chick whoâs too fucking young for you. I made you. If it wasnât for me⌠youâre still nothing but a college fuck boy. And-and you did this to meâŚâÂ
Rest of her words drift into the distance as Jimin feels his heart squeezes painfully. Not for her, no. Not for them either. No. For him.Â
Sheâs saying the absolute truth.
He has everything he has because of her.Â
What a bastard he isâŚ
He is a bastard. But heâs not going to change anything. For the sake of his own guilty consciousness. No, he has to take care of you. He loves you. And all he can hopeâselfishlyâis that youâd love his pathetic self despite all his flaws.Â
Jimin steps away from Liyaâs jabbing finger. âIâm sorry.â Manages to say clear and loud through whatever poison Liya is throwing his way.Â
âDonât say that. Donât say youâre sorry, Jimin⌠because youâre notâŚâ Liya screams. âYouâre not sorry at all.â Yet she doesnât let a single tear drop from her glossed eyes. That hurt sheâs feeling is not for them. Sheâs not mourning them. Sheâs not mad because she lost Jimin. He knows it. Sheâs mad for the respect she lost.Â
âBut I am sorry.â He means it.Â
âYeah? Yeah? Then would you do it any differently? If you had the chance, would you not cheat on me? Would you try to fix what we had?âÂ
A silence. Deep, horrible silence. And thatâs answer enough. Liya chuckles. Understands what Jiminâs lack of verbal answer means. Yet he speaks up.
âI wouldâŚâ He looks at her eyes. Eyes full of hate. âI would do it again, Liya, and thatâs what Iâm sorry for⌠Because Iâd do it again and again,â Liya takes a step back as if he slaps her. âAnd I donât think we had anything we could fix, Kim Liya. I donât know why you chose me, stuck to me when I had nothing, but I sure do know that it wasnât loveââ
âWho are you to judge that?â
âOh, câmon, we both know you didnât love me. Cared for me, maybe⌠that wasnât love, Liya.â Maybe he hadnât loved her either. Or he had but not deeply as he loves you. âIâm sorry that it came to this. And no I didnât ask you to come so I could be the better person because Iâm not. I asked for you because you deserveâwe deserve to end it properly.â Jimin blurts out in one breath before Liya can interrupt him again.Â
âEnd it properly?â Liya questions.Â
âYes. Weâuh-need toââ
âNo!âÂ
Jimin shuts his mouth for a split second. Then her words register in his mind. Itâs completely unavoidable how his patience snaps. How fast his calm demeanor changes into a dark scowl.
âLiyaâŚâ He tries. Just to be cut off.Â
âNo, Jimin. I said no. You already ruined my whole life and do you know what I hate most in this world other than pity? Losing. I hate fucking losing. I was raised to win and win and win. So, if you think Iâd accept defeat against a silly college girl, then youâre so⌠so⌠so ⌠wrong, Jimin.â She shakes her head. âIâm gonna take everything I lost back, including youââ
âFor fuckâs sake, Liya!â Jimin snaps. At last. Itâs impossible not to. âStop pretending like you need me. You donât fucking need me. You never did. And this isnâtâwasnât about winning. And listen carefully Miss. Kim, I wanted to end this properly in the right way because we shared a life, thatâs it. I donât want anything else to do with you. Weâre done, Kim Liya, and I donât give a fuck about what youâd do butâŚâ This time itâs Jimin who steps closer to her. âIf you ever try to harm her or fuck things up⌠trust meâŚyour loving father wouldnât like to know that you played a role in this mess. Heâd be furious to know that you sent those stupid vultures tailing me.âÂ
A silence falls. Liyaâs chin wobbles. Jimin has got her. Has hit the nerve. She has been so right to say that she was raised to win. Sheâll never do anything to disappoint her father. Or will not let him know about that. Sheâs the daughter who lives to please.Â
âYou wouldnât.â At last she grits.Â
âI will. I most definitely will, Liya. You have no idea how selfish I can be. Donât test me. Letâs just end this. Here.â
âGo rot in hell, Jimin!â She barks. Then turns around. Not another word before she storms away. Through the space she once used to stroll leisurely. Through the space she once called home. And out through the front door. Slamming it hard behind her. For once and for all. Marking the end.Â
And the only thing Jimin feels is relief.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
âNow what are we gonna do?â Jin questions as he sweeps his eyes over the monthly sales reports. Sitting across from Jimin at his office table. Theyâre going down. Not rapidly. But thereâs a loss. And they all know itâd get lower and lower with every month if they donât do anything.Â
âNow,â Jimin shifts in his seat. He hates this. Hates having to make his friends worry over something again. âWe work hard.â Yet he has no other option.Â
âLike what exactly?â Hoseok groans. As the CMO, Jimin knows how hard Hoseok has been trying to take them out from this shit hole in whatever way he knows. âWe need a plan, Jimin. Just working hard wonât do anything.âÂ
Jimin knows. Oh he knows. But heâs just using all of his energy on finding that old woman and on Kim these days. He has to find her and has to keep Kim at bay. Without poking his nose too much and discovering that Jimin was bluffing, with no such proof at all.Â
âWhat if we let Li talk to the public?â Hoseok perks up at the utter silence of the group.Â
âAbsolutely not!â Jimin doesnât let Hoseok go any further with that idea at all.Â
Hoseok sighs. âNo but⌠just think about it man. They are hating you without knowing the actual storyââ
âWhat story?â Jin butts in. âThat Li is angel or something? Cheating is cheating man, you canât justify it and make people take your side.â
âWrong,â Hoseok leans forward. Forearms perched on the black tabletop. âCheating is cheating but if you play the cards right, you can justify anything you want. Murder. Robbery. Lying. Anything you want. And think about it, itâs not like you wanted to do this,â He raises a brow at Jimin. âNeither did she. You just love each other. And my dear friends, romance is the best way to justify anything. People are going to take your side.â He leans against the back rest again. Casually. Waiting for Jiminâs answer.Â
âWell thatâs so fucked up.â Taehyung speaks up for the first time. Raising his head up from where heâs been resting it on the table. He looks so tired. This is the most tiered Jimin has seen him after the college final year.
âYouâre the one to talk, Taehyung.â Hoseok dismisses him.Â
âAt least Iâm not manipulating people.â Taehyung gasps. Offended.Â
âWe. Are. Not. Doing. It. Thatâs it.â Jimin puts an end to their debate.Â
âAnd why the hell not?â Hoseok demands.Â
âSheâs not well, Hoseok. And sheâs stuck here. Sheâs going through enough already. Iâm not going to drag her into this mess and make her suffer even more. Sheâs not going to become some PR stunt.â Jimin almost leaves the room with that when Hoseok stops him.Â
âFirst of all, you said sheâs getting well. Second of all, why would you use the word stuck? Is this not what you both wanted? I thought you were making Taehyung look for a ghost because you wanted to find a way to keep her.â Hoseok gestures at Jiminâs poor best friend.Â
âIâthatâsâ yes but not this way. Not so fucking suddenly.âÂ
âThen how did you plan to do that?â This time itâs Jin who questions.Â
âYes, itâs not like you have many choices to begin with. Itâs not like you can go to her world or anything. It's either this or making her keep shifting between two worlds? Howâs that gonna work?â Hoseok continues. Jimin feels uncomfortable. Utterly uncomfortable. Because he doesnât know how to answer these questions. He has wondered about the future to be honest. About how this would work. But neither of you has had time to talk about that. Not with all the other problems.Â
âWe havenât talked about that yet,â So he mumbles the truth. âBut Iâm not gonna keep her like that. She has a life in her world. A family. A job. Friends and a degree to complete. Iâm not going to rob her of that. And I wonât take away her right to make a decision. If she wants to stay, then she has to decide. This is not how I want it.âÂ
âWhat if she doesnât want to stay? What if she wants to leave and never come back?â Hoseok softens his voice. âThen what Jimin?âÂ
Jiminâs blood turns ice. He stiffens. A painful squeeze in his heart making him look away from his friends. All three pairs of eyes turn to him expectantly. Well, this is something else that he had wondered about among other millions of what ifs. Yet he never wanted to humor the thought more than necessary.Â
Jimin curls his fists into tight balls. As if itâd help to ease the uncomfortable tightness inside his chest. âThen she leaves.â The words taste like ashes on his tongue.Â
He doesnât want you to leave.Â
Canât imagine how itâd be without you again.Â
ButâŚ. Then⌠he loves you so damn much.Â
Heâll do his best, though. Heâll ask. Heâll beg. Heâll do what he has to do. Still, if you say you want to go, then he loves you enough to let you make that choice.Â
âIâm not going to steal her chance of making choices. She- she willââ
âSheâll stay.â Hoseok clears his throat after he blurts the words. âDonât worry. All you have to do is ask.âÂ
Jimin gapes at him. A lazy smirk tugs on Hoseokâs lips. âDamn!â He looks at their other two friends. âThis one is in love, isnât he?âÂ
Jin chuckles, âDisgustingly soâŚâÂ
âYes, Iâm cringing so bad that my stomach is hurting. I wouldâve preferred to listen to the last time you had sex in detail than hearing all those Jimin.â Taehyung agrees. Not that heâd chosen a bad alternative. Not for him. Jimin doesnât point it out, though.Â
Bastards!
Jimin raises his hand to imitate a punch toward Taehyung, whoâs the only one sitting closer to him. Taehyung puts his arms over his head. Laughing. Hard. A smile appears on Jiminâs face as well.Â
âNo PR stunt then.â Jin shuffles to his feet. An amused glint in his eyes. Jimin wants to smack each of them in their beautiful faces. âWhich means, we are indeed working hard to find another way.â He pats Hoseokâs shoulder. Urging him to get up and start working as well.Â
Hoseok groans as he does as Jin says. âYâall need to listen to your CMO sometimes.â He grumbles. Yet everybody knows that he doesnât mean it. Taehyung follows their other two friends. Still grinning. Jimin watches as they empty the office while bickering and teasing each other. A strange calm washes over him.
Everything will be fine again.Â
Heâll solve these problems. Heâll make sure youâre okay. Make sure you're healthy and happy. And youâll have your happy ending. Even though he doesnât know how. How to have it without breaking your heart, one way or another. How unfair. How fucking unfair.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
âJungkookâŚâ You sigh as you give up on trying to chop vegetables for the dinner. Jungkook hasnât been letting you workâ which means cookingâpeacefully for more than an hour now.Â
âCâmon, Noona! Itâs going to be fun. Besides, some fresh air will do you good.â Jungkook argues. Fair. His points are true. Is speaking the truth. Youâve been cooped up in his apartment almost all the time. Except for the time you work at the restaurant. Only in the kitchen though. Because Jimin had not wanted to let the public be aware of your location. He hadnât demanded you stay away but requested. You could go there if you could handle the attention, which you decided you canât.Â
The second reason why youâve been refusing to go anywhere else. The first reason is that you donât feel like it. Youâre getting better. Kind of. You can stomach some foods and you donât feel utterly exhausted all the time. But⌠inside, you feel strangely hollow. Even though you love this life in this world. Even though youâre closer to Jimin than youâve ever been. Still, you feel like you betrayed the people youâve known all your life. You feel purposeless.Â
Damn your parents had paid a hefty sum for your college. You had just a couple months to go to have that degree on your hands. Now? Theyâve all left behind. Just like that, you lost everything. Crazy, because on the other hand, youâve got a life youâve been desperately clinging on to.Â
âI really donât feel like going out, KookieâŚâ You sigh. âYou should go. Have fun.âÂ
âFuck no. If youâre not going then Iâm not goingââ
âJungââ
âIâm not going without you, Noona. And you talk to J. She planned the whole night just for you. Sheâs gonna be madâŚ. So madâŚ.â He shakes his head dramatically. You roll your eyes. You donât want to bail on your friends but sometimes they need to understand the meaning of the words ânoâ and âcanâtâ. âCâmon, baby⌠give it a chance. If you feel worse or if anything happens, Iâm gonna bring you home right away.â Jungkook steps behind you just to wrap his arms around your body.Â
You tense up. Try your best not to step away or shove him away. It feels weird to be close to him and hearing him say those nicknames to you when you know they probably mean more to him than to you. That theyâre not friendly from his side. Yet if you step aside, heâd find it odd. Heâd question you and youâd have to say the truth. And you donât know what itâd do to your relationship. Probably would leave it cracked. Youâd be so awkward around each other. In simple words, youâd lose Jeon Jungkook.Â
You force yourself to stay still. Be the girl he had known all these months. âBesides, youâre good at doing more, Noona. More than just cooking like youâve gone crazy. You need to try.â He adds. Sways you from side to side in his hold. True. What heâs saying. Youâve been cooking too much lately. At the restaurant and then again at home. Totally unnecessary because you have enough food. But it has been your way of distracting yourself. Feeling useful. Feeling as if you have a purpose. Itâd be a good form of distraction for someone who loves cooking. Not for you. You never liked it, nor disliked it. You just made what you needed. This is not something youâre enjoying. Jungkook is so right.Â
Maybe you should listen to him. Get yourself out there and see what itâll bring to you. You know that thereâs no advantage of keeping yourself hidden this way. Maybe a night out with your favorite people from this world will help you to forget about the ones in your other world. The people who mightâveâno not might, but surely have forgotten you already. Maybe a glass of wine would do good to you. Yes. You should loosen up.Â
âFineâŚâ You place the knife in your hand down.Â
âYes!â Jungkook makes a victorious sound. Squeezes you a little tighter before letting you go. âYou have an hour to get ready and look less dead.â Steps away from you.
âYah!â You shout after him. He looks over his shoulder to wink at you. âWho else is coming?â You ignore that wink.Â
Jungkook shrugs. âI donât know, the usual people⌠maybe.â With that he leaves the kitchen. Hyper excited about getting ready. Like a teenage girl going on her first ever date. You scowl at his retrieving back. That wasnât an answer at all.Â
What you want to know is whether Jimin will come. Despite the fact that now you live under the same sky for every day, youâve not seen him for days. Days! Simply because heâs drowning in work. You want to see him. Be closer to him. You always feel better when you do. Yet youâve decided to be an understanding, mature woman instead of a naive college girlâeven though youâre no longer a college girl. Youâve decided to let Jimin handle things first.Â
He probably wonât be there today as well. Itâs fine though. You have your other friends. You have Jungkook. Oh, how selfish you are. Even after your greed ruined almost everything, youâre still so selfish. You want everything to yourself. When you know that this must be damn hard for Jungkook.Â
You wonder how he does that. How he manages to still take care of you this way when he knows that your heart belongs to someone else. How can he still give you everything? He gives, gives and gives, and receives nothing in turn. How can a person be so selfless?Â
Oh, this is not fair. Not at all. Jeon Jungkookâyour Jeon Jungkookâdeserves so much better. Right? Then why shouldnât you do it? You should do it. Even though itâd hurt like hell to lose him. But he deserves a life. You have to.Â
You have to.
For once, you should do the right thing.Â
Yes, you will.
ButâŚbutâŚmaybe not today. Heâs in such a good mood. You wonât ruin that. Maybe tomorrow. Or the day after that. The moment you get an opportunity. Youâll do that. Youâll be selfless. Like Jeon Jungkook. And let him live.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
The pub J has chosen for the night is packed to the brim. The soft music and chatter of other patrons fill the air. Itâs giving you a headache. Even when the music is soft.Â
You glance over your shoulder toward the bar, where a crowd has gathered. Among them are your two friends. J and Jungkook. You catch the way they animatedly argue with each other. Probably about what to buy. You want them to hurry. That glass of wine would help you ease the headache and blend in.Â
âOh my god, Joon. Youâre insufferable.â Yoonaâs groan brings your attention back to the table. Namjoon slumps in his seat.Â
âYou are insufferable, woman. Itâs not that hard. Just pick a color. Itâs just the same, there wonât be any difference.âÂ
Yoona clicks her tongue in disapproval. âYou know what? Thereâs no point in talking this with you. Li,â She turns to you. âYou tell me, which color is the best?â Shows you her phone screen. Is showing you two different shades of white.Â
You scowl at Namjoon first. âDonât tell me you said these are the same color.âÂ
âIt is the same color.â He leans forward as if to push the words into your brain. âThereâs going to be no difference when you paint your house with this,â He points at the first shade. A soft, warm white. Almost cream. âOr this.â He gestures to the next. A pure white. Pure fucking white. You canât believe he says itâs the same color.
âWow, Iâm embarrassed to call you my friend now,â You shake your head. Namjoon rolls his eyes. You pay your attention to Yoona. âThis one is better.â You pick the warm tone. âAre you renovating?â Ask in the end. Just curious.Â
âNah, just going to paint the walls. The color we have now is so uglyâŚâ Yoona glances over to his boyfriend. âHe picked the color. Heâs as creative as a fish.âÂ
Namjoon scoffs. âWell it must suck to be you.â Slumps in his seat. Pouts. Sulks. Yoona goes to console him immediately. Lunging at the poor man pinching his cheeks. It must be amazing to be in that stage of a relationship. Just being themselves and free. Even being able to insult without actually hurting each otherâs feelings. That type of understanding. You wish youâll reach that stage. You want to. You want to grow old and die with Jimin.Â
You snap your eyes away from the couple when Jungkook places a bottle of wine and ten glasses on the table.Â
Ten.Â
You turn to Jungkook, frowning. Whyâs there so many glasses? You almost question him when a sudden weight settles on your shoulders. Before you can turn around to find out whoâs the owner of the hands on your shoulders, a familiar voice erupts next to your ear.
âHello beautiful, you look gorgeous.â The words follow a quick kiss to your cheek. You finally manage to turn your head. Enough so that Jimin presses his lips to yours this time. Your body goes rigid. Are you doing this? In front of everyone? The moment Jimin pulls away you dart your eyes over the table, now crowded with more people. Nobody, howeverâ except J and Jungkook, looks at you differently. They donât look at you at all. The rest acts like this is normal. To kiss and hold Jimin.Â
You know he had officially ended it with Liya. Still, what you had done was wrong. The only acceptable reaction here is by J. You know why Jungkook isnât looking at you. Itâs not for the same reason. Maybe theyâre taking it easy on you. OrâŚorâ
âAre you okay?â Jimin sits next to you. Concerned eyes scanning your face. He reads you like a book. âItâs fine, Lil. Iâm not hiding anymore. Iâve done bad things but guess what, fuck it.â He mumbles so only you can hear him.Â
You take a second. A minute. Processing. Heâs right. You and he have gone through all this shit so you could actually be together. Like Yoona and Namjoon. So you could be a normal couple. You want it. You want at least one normal thing in your life. You want Jimin.Â
You want to grow old with him till you die.Â
You nod slowly. A cheeky smile appears on Jiminâs face as he takes your hand in his. Kisses the back. You blush, making his eyes glint in that familiar amusement. Oh god, youâve missed that.
âAre you blushing?â He leans toward you to whisper.Â
âNo!â You deny the obvious right away. âItâs hot here.âÂ
Jimin snorts. You mirror his smile. Funny, how youâre already feeling better. You eye him like heâs made of stars and moonlight. Wondrous. Amazing. Maybe he looks at you in the same way. Well, this is not so bad after all.Â
You reluctantly turn your gaze away from him to the rest of your companion. Busy fitting into the table. Arguing over who should sit where. J and Jin are already sitting the farthest they can. Guess they still havenât resolved whatever issue theyâre going through. You hope theyâd find a way. Because they deserve each other.Â
Jungkook stull isnât looking your way. He says something to Yoongi. Something serious. Thereâs not a hint of smile or joy in his face. Your heart squeezes. It feels wrong to be so intimate with Jimin when you know it must hurt Jungkook as hell.Â
âAre you going to talk with him?â Jiminâs sudden question jerks your attention away from Jungkook. You raise a brow at Jimin. âCâmon, everyone knows he likes you. Why do you think I hate him?â Jimin rolls his eyes.
âYou donât hate him.â You correct him. Hate is a powerful word.Â
Jimin considers it. âYeah, maybe not. But I donât like him either.âÂ
âDonât you?âÂ
Jimin groans. âI used to be so jealous of him. But you know what, Spring Roll? As much as I donât like him, Iâm so grateful for him.â
Okay, thatâs not expected.Â
You look at him with pure amusement this time. Silently demanding further explanation.Â
âHe was there for you when I couldnât. And even though I hate that, Iâm glad you had someone who took your side and stuck to you no matter what.âÂ
The squeeze in your heart tightens. True. Thatâs what Jungkook had done. Thatâs what heâs doing now. Still sticking to your side even when it breaks his heart. You need to talk to him. You have to free him of that pain. You almost cry at Jiminâs words. Luckily, or not, someone interrupts and saves you.
âOh, looks like you havenât started the party without me.âÂ
You raise your head to findâŚ.
Seoyeon.
For the sake of fuckingâŚ..
Why does it have to be like this every fucking time? Why would she or Liya have to just crash your every gathering? Why? Why? Why?
âWhat?â Seoyeon sits next to her boyfriend as everyone else is blinking at her face stupidly. Stunned. âAm I not invited?âÂ
Obviously.
No one says anything. Except Taehyung. âWhat are you doing here?â He asks coldly. You hate that tone. Seoyeon, apparently stays unfazed.Â
âWhat do you think? Hanging out with my boyfriendâs friends.â She shrugs. A sweet smile on her lips.Â
âI thought you didnât like my friendsâ Taehyung raises a brow.Â
âWho said that? Just because my best friend doesnât like something, it doesnât mean I donât like that either. I never said that, youâve made your own assumptions.â Seoyeon grabs a glass of wine from the table. Your choice of drink for the night. She swirls the dark red liquid inside the glass. Taehyung sighs.Â
âHow did you evenââ
Seoyeon doesnât let Taehyung finish his question. âOh I heard you talking with someone on the phone.â Shrugs. Taehyung gives her an incredulous look.Â
âYou heardâSeoyoenâisnât that shameless? Embarrassing?â Taehyung almost gets to his feet. As if he wants to have this conversation somewhere else. Seoyeon stays still on her chair. Takes a languid sip of the drink.Â
âIt is shameless. But compared to the things people in this table have doneâŚthis is nothing. Compared to what you have doneâŚâ Finally, her sweet smile vanishes. Leaving a grimace. Her eyes full of fire directly land on Taehyung. âThis. Is. NothingâŚ. Kim Taehyung!âÂ
Taehyung goes still. You know what she means. Everybody knows what she means.Â
She knows! Of course, she does. Maybe sheâs known it for so long.Â
âWhat?â She asks again at Taehyungâs silence. Puts down her drink. âYou thought Iâd never know? Did you think Iâm that dumb orâŚor that I wouldnât care? Did youââ
âSeoyoen.â Taehyung breathes. His face suddenly remorseful. No hardness. Everyone else on the table stays quiet. Youâre not sure theyâre even breathing.Â
âDonâtââ Seoyoen snaps. âDonât fucking Seoyoen me. Youâre a fucking jerk, Taehyung. I hate you so much. I hate you⌠do you hear me? I fucking hate you.â Her pretty face twitches with anger. Ugly. Ugly hot anger. Taehyung glances downward. Says nothing. You believe he has nothing to say. âIâm not here to celebrate the grand union of your asshole friend and his bitch.â Seoyoen continues. Jimin tenses next to you. You grab his hand. This is not the time. She has a right to be mad. At everyone.Â
âI-IâŚâ Seoyoen pants. Anger makes it hard to speak. âIâm here to tell you that weâre done.â
Silence. Silence. Silence.
Deafening silence even though the bar is in full swing.Â
âI know you donât give a fuck.â Seoyeon carries on. âYou probably feel so relieved, Taehyung. So, consider this as a favor. Iâm saving your pathetic ass from having to do this by yourself, if you ever planned to do it. I hope youâd be fucking grateful for the favor.â She picks up the glass of wine again. Holds it up. âCheers,â Says even when nobody joins her in the celebration. She doesnât care. âTo getting rid of toxic, pathetic fucking men.â Brings the drink closer to her red lips. Stops. Glances at you. âUnfortunately, not for you. Youâre stuck with one.â Then she chugs down the entire glass in one go.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
Youâre not happy. You wouldâve been in another situation. Like if you were watching a movie. Like if you were on Seoyeonâs side. A stranger. A third person whoâs watching this drama unfold. But youâre not. You wouldâve been thrilled and rooting for Seoeyon if you were a good person in this story. But youâre the villain. Youâre one of the bad guys. So, youâre not happy.Â
Not happy about how Seoyoen chose this particular day and momentânot because the party was for you but because Jâs plans were ruined yet again. Not happy about how she humiliated Taehyung. Maybe not everyone here knows who he really is. Maybe they all are hating him now. Youâre not happy about it. Definitely not happy about how otherwise bubbly Taehyung is so silent, tossing down drink after drinkâmore stronger than wine, in a row.Â
Seoyeon is matching his pace. Drinking in her own world. Not talking with anyone or paying any mind to anyone. The table had been filled with a feast a few minutes ago. Some are nibbling on food, slowly and quietly talking with the person next to them. You play with the food on your plate as you intensely watch the way Taehyung fills his shot glass for what must be the tenth time.Â
You and Jimin moved your seats closer to Taehyung â one on each side. Just because you wanted to be there. To let him know that you donât give a fuck.Â
âSlow down, TaeâŚâ Jimin tries to take the glass away from his friend slowly. Taehyung groans in annoyance.Â
âNoâŚâ He grabs the glass back. Shoves it in your direction, away from Jimin. âIâm not drunk. Not even buzzed. I can drink ten more bottlesâŚâ He blabbers. Drunk. Obviously drunk. This is not good. Someone should stop Seoyoen as well. Sheâs turning redder and redder, which you think is scary.Â
âFor fuckâs sake, Taehyung.â Jimin yet again tries to snatch Taehyungâs glass away. Fails. Taehyung ignores him. Turns to you.Â
âWhatâŚare you do-doingâŚ?â Questions. Slurring over his words.Â
âWhat?â You stop poking around your plate.Â
âWhy are you sitting here?â Taehyung looks at you as if his question is so obvious and youâre dumb not to understand it. âBoth of you,â Points at Jimin. âWhy are you two sitting next to me like Iâm your kid and you have to protect me at all cost?â Takes a second. Before either of you or Jimin can answer, he goes again. âWait⌠that sounds like a good idea,â Gasps. âDo you likeâŚwant to adopt me?â Beams.Â
You sigh. Roll your eyes. âWell, we donât need an alcoholic son. Only if you stop drinking soju like itâs water, maybe weâll considerâŚâÂ
âI am not drunk, mother. Your son has a high alcohol tolerance.âÂ
You cringe at the word âmother.â And high alcohol tolerance? You snort softly. You open your mouth to humble him a bit when he goes back into a serious mood.Â
âNo but seriously, why?â Asks again. âWhy are you not sitting next to your boyfriend?â Boyfriend. How odd that word sounds. You donât get to dwell on that. âYou can be together out in the open, finally. Why arenât you doing it? Why arenât you two sitting together? What are you doing next to me? Why arenât you enjoying the night ?âÂ
âWho told you that Iâm not enjoying it?â You question back.Â
âEnjoying what exactly?â
âYour company.âÂ
Taehyung falls silent for a second. Then itâs his time to snort. âOh câmon, Li, we both-bothââ He stutters a little. âKnow⌠thatâs not the case at all.âÂ
âThen why do you think Iâm here?â
âI donât know. Probably because you pity me⌠or maybe youâre enjoying my company because you think our situations are similar.â He clicks his tongue. âBecause-because youâve done something like I didâŚâ A sigh. âIf thatâs the case, I donât want you to sit here, Li.â He mumbles. Voice raw. Raw from emotions.Â
You feel a deep pang in your heart. âThatâsâŚâ You put your chopsticks down. Turn fully toward him. This conversation needs all the attention. âNot why Iâm here TaeâŚâ You say sternly. âIâm here because Iâm your friendââ You have more words to say but Taehyung butts in.Â
âYeah? But would you be my friend if you never did something like that?âÂ
You know what that, that means. You briefly glance over to Jimin. Heâs turned to Yoona, giving you and Taehyung the privacy to talk. But you know he can hear you. The slight tensing of his shoulders is proof enough.Â
âWhat if Jimin never chased you over? What if you never fell for him and did the right thing? Would you still sit here because youâre my friend?â Taehyung continues without waiting for any answer from you. âYou wouldn't, right? You would sit on the other side of this table, probably with Seoyeon, consoling her, telling her that she did so good and I deserve to rot in hell. You would hate my guts like everyone else and would wish that youâd never see me again.âÂ
The pang in your chest deepens. You and Taehyung may not be as close as you and Jungkook are. But, you still care about Taehyung in your own way. Wrong or not. Weird. To like and care about someone whoâs utterly wrong. You think thatâs how it is, however. And you need him to know that.Â
âFirst,â So you begin. âI donât know about everyone else but, Taehyung⌠I donât think they all hate you. Not himâŚâ You gesture to where Hoseok is sitting across from you with your head. Taehyung follows your sign, just to find Hoseok carefully watching him, swirling the drink inside his cup mindlessly. The moment Taehyungâs eyes land on him he looks away. Yet, the point has been proven. âAnd himâŚâ The next spotlight is for Jinâwho is throwing brief glances over Taehyung. âOr your best friend.â You add lastly. Neither of you bother to look at Jimin. Thereâs no need to. You both know he cares.Â
âIf they wanted to hate you, they wouldâve done so a long time ago. And about meâŚâ You start slowly. âYes I wanted to kill you when I first knew you were cheating on your girlfriend. On that first day we met at that hotel. I wanted to scream at Seoyeon and tell her that you were cheating. I wanted to tell her to dump your stupid ass right then and there.âÂ
At your words, Taehyung glances at his drink instead of your face. Ridden with guilt.Â
âButâŚâ You add hastily. Before he can make his own assumptions about what you have to say. âI also really liked you Tae. I liked how you made me laugh, how you made me feel accepted. Even when you thought I was Liyaâand I know you guys werenât very fond of her. I loved how carefree and funny you were. You always made me feel good. Happy even. And Iâm so glad that Jimin has you, Tae. You have no idea how much of a good friend you are.âÂ
âSo, yes⌠I wouldâve still sat here as your friend even if Jimin and I never happened.â You internally cringe at your own words. You donât want to think about the prospect. âMaybe I wouldnât have just sat and watched you drink like you could handle it,â Taehyung tries to protest, his eyes back on you. You donât let him. âMaybe I wouldâve given you hell. I wouldâve forced you to do the right thing before things got messy. I wouldnât have liked what you did at all. But still I wouldâve sat next to you, even though I know you got what you deserved. Yes, you deserve that but I will be sitting next to you, no matter what. Because I love you.âÂ
Taehyungâs eyes light up.
âAs a friend I mean.â You state sternly, making him chuckle for the first time.Â
âYou would?â Then he asks.Â
âYes I would.â You reply. Softly.Â
âBut doesn't that make you a bad person?âÂ
âMaybe it does, I donât know, Tae. But I think thatâs what people do. People care about what matters to them the most. Even if that makes them villains.â You are a villain. In Liyaâs story youâre the bad guy. In Seoyeonâs story youâre the evil person. But in the end, you donât care. âI would choose the people I love over greater goodness all the time. And I donât care what it makes of me. I would choose you and to be with you even if youâve done something even worse. Like youâre doing with Jimin.â You reach for his hand. Squeeze. Just to let him know that you mean your words.Â
Taehyung says nothing for a while. Then nods. âThank you!â Says softly.Â
âIâm not doing you any favors to be thankful for, Taehyung.âÂ
âAll right then.â He agrees. No more arguments. Picks up his glass. âCheers! To choose what matters to us the most.â Holds the glass for you to clinck against. You do. Almost bring it to your lips to take a sip even though you donât want to when Taehyung starts adding more. âAnd to you adopting me and loving me, and for my new family.âÂ
You roll your eyes. Yet Jiminâs the one who loses it. âWhoâs adopting who?â He barges into your conversation.Â
âYou. Me.â Taehyung answers simply.Â
âAbsolutely not. Iâd much rather adopt the stupidest donkey in the world than adopt you.â
Taehyung gasps, offended. Yet before he can say anything, J muses. âIs there any difference between the two?â
Taehyung sucks in almost all the air in the room. âFuck you, J.â Flips her off when you grab his attention by clanking your glass with his. Again.Â
âTo you.â You say as you take the first sip. Taehyung follows. You gulp down the mouthful of wine. Mistake⌠You wince instantly at the taste. Youâve never tasted a wine that tasted so bad. The sweet taste feels like vinegar on your tongue. You jump toward the plate of fried chicken. Taking a bite, hoping the awful taste in your mouth will fade.Â
Another mistake.Â
The moment your taste buds touch the piece of food, your stomach starts coiling. Mouth turns sour. You stumble into your feet. You havenât thrown up lately. Maybe you wonât now either. But itâd be a good idea to leave the table.Â
âIâm sorry Iââ You half apologize as you turn on your heel, stopping when you notice that Jimin has gotten to his feet as well. So does Jungkook. âIâm fine,â You say to neither or to no one in particular. âIâll be back soon.âÂ
Jungkook listens to you and falls back to his seat, eyes still watching you like a hawk. Careful. Ready to do anything if need be. Jimin, however, doesnât give a fuck. You feel his presence behind you as you finally leave the table.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
You kneel in front of the toilet bowl for ten minutes. Trying to force out whatever your body is refusing to keep inside. Yet nothing comes out. Even after ten minutes you do nothing but dry heave. At least the nausea reduces. To a point where you finally gather the strength to stand up.Â
You take an extra couple minutes to fix yourself up before exiting the cubicle. Slowly. Too scared to give yourself surprises that would trigger your nausea again. Only that the universe doesnât plan on letting you off the hook that easily. The moment you step outside the cubicle, your eyes are met with a figure leaning against the counters.Â
The last person you want to see today. Especially this moment.Â
Seoyoenâs eyes are fixed on you. Harsh and cold. Sheâs still holding her glass of wine as she assesses you up and down. You groan inwardly. Now is not the time. You know why sheâs here. Probably is looking for a fight. A way to take her edge out. And you refuse to become her victim. Refuse to give her the satisfaction.Â
You turn your gaze away from her. Walk toward a sink. Completely ignoring herâor trying to do so. You make five steps toward your intended destination when Seoyeonâs voice echoes through the otherwise empty restroom.Â
âHave you taken a pregnancy test?âÂ
You freeze. Your body goes rigid. A strange chill runs down your spine. You turn toward her slowly while your stomach starts to turn and twist again. Violently.Â
âHuh?â You furrow at her.
Seoyeon looks at you with an exasperated expression. As if youâre the biggest idiot alive. Yet she doesnât repeat her question. Instead, she elaborates. âWe all know you and my best friendâs ex boyfriend,â She puts extra emphasis on the last few words. âHave been fucking each other like animals. So, have you used protection, Li?â She tilts her head to the side.Â
The world around you slows down. Protection? No. No you havenât.Â
Fuck, fuck, fuckâŚ
What if⌠what ifâŚ
No⌠No⌠you shouldnât go there.Â
Itâs impossible. Seoyeon is trying to get a rise out of you. Youâre on pills.Â
âIâm on pills.â You manage to say stiffly. Almost take another step towards the sink.Â
âPlease.â She scoffs. âYou canât be that stupid now, can you?â Turns to her side, leaning her hip against the counter to face you properly. âPlease tell me youâre old enough to know that thereâs a chance.â
You know. You did know. But⌠it canât be.Â
Youâve seen people go through similar situations. Hell, you have even seen people get pregnant with tubal ligations. You know things can go wrong. But not for you right? No. It canât be.Â
Seoyeon steps closer to you as you donât answer her question. âSo you didnât use protection?â She reads your expression. âOh god, how stupid? And do you think that you're sick just because of thisââShe gestures at you with her hand. âI donât knowâthe situation? Because of your mixed up identities with Liya?âÂ
Yes. It has to be.Â
You say nothing. Absolutely nothing as your blood starts turning cold. Every word Seoyeon says makes sense. Practical. Thereâs a chance. And you donât want to admit that. Admitting it makes it real. This is not real. Thereâs no way.Â
âCâmon, Li, youâre smarter than that. Itâs better to be cautious thanââ
âWhy are you so concerned, Seoyeon?â You finally snap. âWe both know you donât give a fuck about me or what happens to me. What are you doing here?â You know she wants to fight. But this⌠you have never expected.
âI donât. I donât give a fuck about you.â She confirms what you already said.Â
âThen why?â
âBecause I want to see you lose one way or another!â She yells. Loud enough that you flinch. âBecause it is not fair that you get a happy ending and I donâtâwe donât. Itâs not fair that all of you get what you want. Itâs not fair Taehyung cheated on me but he still has people coddling him to death. Itâs not fucking fair that he has all of you and I donât have anyone. So, I want to ruin it.â She grits her teeth. Okay, here you go. This is not exactly about you. Nothing to do with your relationship with her best friendâs ex boyfriend. Sheâs just lashing out her anger on you. Her pain on you. Pain caused by Taehyung. She chooses you because youâre the easy target.Â
âI want to ruin it, Li. Because Iâm so fucking jealous of you.â Her raised voice tunes down. She inhales a shaky breath. âIâm so jealous that you have everything I donât. Iâm jealous of Taehyung because even after everything, he has Jimin. Iâm jealous that you have Jungkook. Iâm so jealous you guys have each other and I- I donâtââ Her voice cracks. âHave anyone.âÂ
You take a deep breath. Exhales. Just to soothe the way your heart clenches painfully for her. The irritation you felt towards her earlier disappears. So do the claws of fears of any unwanted pregnancies. You donât know what to say to her though. A sorry would mean nothing. You walk over to her. Lean against the counter next to her. Maybe you donât have to say anything. Maybe she just wants to vent. Needs someone to listen. Or she just needs a punching bag. Maybe you can at least do that. Listen. Be the punching bag.Â
âI didnât want much, you know?â She carries on. Her eyes glaze over. She places the glass of wine away. âI just wanted someone who would truly care for me. Like truly truly care for me. Not like my family who always treated me good only when I did something that made them proud. Not like a friend who was friends with me because we both had no choice.âÂ
You furrow. Not quite understanding her ramble. Your brain is working hard to connect dots and make sense of the words sheâs vomiting. Yet you donât interrupt her.Â
âBut look at me nowâŚâ A scoff. âIsnât that so unfair, Li?â She turns to look at you. Doesnât wait until you answer. Youâre glad. Because you donât know what to say. âIsnât that unfair that I donât even have my best friend with me? I was there for her. I was there for her when we knew you were banging her boyfriend.â You donât even try to hide the cringe. âI fought for her and I was there when Jimin ended things even when I knew she wasnât exactly sad about losing him.âÂ
Well, thatâs no news but it certainly does feel surprising to hear from Seoyeon.Â
âI was there for her and I was happy even when I knew she started dating him only because I started dating Taehyung. Just because it was just another competition for her and she needed to get one with me.âÂ
At that, your eyes go wide. For the first time since Seoyeon started rambling, a question forms in your mind, âWait what?âÂ
Maybe you shouldnât take this moment as an advantage to pry into details that are none of your business. But those words spark your curiosity to no end. Itâs a natural reaction to wanting to know more. Seoyeon, however, ignores your question.Â
âI neverâI never dated Taehyung for that reason. To compete with Liya. No, I genuinely liked him, loved even. I liked the way he talked, walked, laughed, fuck I even liked the way he flirted with everyone.â The tears that have made her eyes glossy finally roll down through her pale cheeks. You feel your eyes sting as well. Friend or not, nobody deserves this. Not her, not Liya. Yet you donât know how to comfort her. âAnd guess what?â She wipes away the tears with the back of her hands. Looks at you. A real question. She wants you to guess what happened next. You stay quiet. So she tells you what happened. âJust months after I started dating him, Kim Liya started dating Park Jimin. Taehyungâs best friend. She even got him to ask her out instead of asking him, which is what I did. Because it was better and all she wanted was to win against me.âÂ
You lose a breath. Sheâs drunk. Very drunk. She wouldnât be standing here, letting you know these secrets otherwise. Sheâs drunk and heartbroken. But you donât know what else to do than let her talk and talk. âShe started dating a man and was even ready to marry him just because she wanted to compete with you?â Youâre walking on a thin line here. You donât want to appear eager to scout dirty bits. You genuinely want to help her.Â
âFunny, yeah? That someone would walk into that distance to look better than someone else. But thatâs what we always did. Especially her. Me too. Our familiesâthey wanted to raise a daughter better than the other family. So we competed on everything. Grades, looks, money, and even fucking men. But none of those were a competition we admitted to being doing or did out in the open. We always supportedâor pretended to support each other. Be happy about each otherâs achievements. Then we made sure we got something better than the other.âÂ
Fuck! The ache in your heart toward her simmer into a spark of anger within a blink of an eye. Compete to take something better than the other already had? Where does that leave Taehyung and Jimin? Seoyeon and Liya had made Taehyung and Jimin partake in a competition to be the better man, even without their knowledge. Sparks of anger poke at your insides. What if theyâve fallen into that vicious trap unknowingly? What if Jimin and Taehyung had started competing with each other as well?Â
You force the thought to the back of your mind. That didnât happen. Theyâre still strong. And none of it was Seoyoenâs fault either. Not entirely.Â
âSo that was it?â You decide to ask instead of being bitter about it. âLiya dated Jimin for five years just because you were dating Taehyung? Didnât she ever grow up and realise that-that it was stupid and they both deserved better?âÂ
Seoyoenâs eyes have dried up. She shakes her head. âThatâs more complex than that.âÂ
âHow?âÂ
âThere was this one thing that was different in our families. They were quite similar in their beliefs but my father was never obsessed with a freaking reputation like Liyaâs father was. I mean of course my family thinks about it but Mr. Kim? Heâs a lunatic. Ever since he found out that his newly wedded wife was pregnant with someone else's child. And it was too late to do something because of the fucking public image.â Thereâs such hatred in Seoyeonâs voice. So much that it awes you. âEverybody thinks that heâs the perfect father a daughter could wish for. Maybe he is if Liya was his own blood. But since she isn't, all he cares about is protecting his image. Nobody should ever know that he was an idiot who got tricked by a woman and had to raise someone elseâs kid. For that, he hates Liya.âÂ
âThat doesnât make sense.â You push yourself away from the counter. Abashed. âHe hates Liya? Why would heâI donât know, give everything for herâŚHe was so ready to pull out from RUN for her. I donât understand.âÂ
Seoyeon doesnât even take a second before answering. âHe gave her everything because he had no one else to pass on his fortune to. After Liya, fortunately for her, Mrs Kim didnât get pregnant again. So Mr Kim was stuck with Liya whether he liked it or not. And it wouldâve been weird and people would have questioned it if he didnât treat Liya like his blood. The very thing he was trying so hard to keep hidden. Heâs just acting. Thatâs it.â
You suck in a breath. It sounds stupid. So so stupid. You refuse to believe that someone would be that obsessed with maintaining a flawless image that theyâd walk into this length. But apparently, youâre provided with proof. Living breathing proof. And youâve no other options but to believe. âFuck, thatâs so fucked up.âÂ
âIt is.â
A moment of silence falls before you clear your throat, realizing that youâve taken the point of the conversation away. âSoâŚâ You carefully thread through your words again. Curious. Youâre fucking curious. âWhy didnât Liya ever give up on Jimin, if it wasnât for competing with you?â
Seoyeon looks at you. For a long minute. As if she just realizes that itâs you who sheâs talking with. You almost become convinced that she will not humor you anymore with more information when she shrugs. âMy family wasnât obsessed with reputation but hers was. I was allowed to date anyone I want. As long as he was a decent human being. Not a criminal or drug addict⌠and they loved Taehyung. Heâs the perfect son in law my mom could wish for. Hardworking. Good looking. Funny. And he proved his worth by building the companyâŚâ A sigh. âBut that wasnât how it went in Liyaâs family. All Mr Kim cared for was having a match from a perfect family. A good background. Financial aid. And loads of other bullshit, which Jimin didnât have. He didnât approve of JiminâŚâ
Another spark of anger sloshes inside you.Â
âBut for the first time in her life, Liya went against him. Because giving up on Jimin meant losing against me. She wasnât raised to lose. So she fought so hard against his fatherâstep father,â She corrects before continuing. âUntil they came to a stupid agreementââ
âShe made him give Jimin money, didnât she? So, he could become the man her family wanted.â You grit through your teeth, feeling a headache forming at the boiling anger inside you. Yet to your utter surprise Seoyeon shakes her head.Â
âNo⌠Mr Kim investing in someone whoâs not going to be beneficial to him in the future? Whoâs not going to become a money printing machine? No fucking way, Li. No way. Mr Kim may be a prick but heâs also a genius businessman. He invested in Jimin because he saw what Jimin had. He knew Jimin was going to make it big one day. That he was going to bring him billions.â
You suddenly feel empty. Hollow. Anger yet again dissipating into ashes, then not so slowly transforming into a deep ache in your chest. Jimin believes heâs not worthy of what he has. He thinks the only reason heâs successful today is because he had a rich girlfriend who aided him financially. He believes thatâs the only reason.Â
You have to physically fight the urge to storm away to find the man, whoâs probably worrying to death while youâre having this conversation. Youâll tell him. The moment your eyes meet him again. But you have to know the final piece now. You decide not to say anything to what Seoyeon just said. You bring back the same question again. âWhat was the stupid agreement they made then?â
âKim gave her the green light to do whatever she wanted with a college fuck boy who had nothing,â She begins and you will yourself to calm down and not to strangle on her the spot for the choices of words she makes. âButâŚhe also told her that Jiminâs going to leave her. That he won't be able to deal with herâŚâ She searches for the correct word. âImposing attitude forever. That heâs going to fall for someone with a different kind of fire. A fire that would keep him alive, not keep him fighting, fighting, and fighting. He bet that Jimin is going to fall for someone who would give him his hundred percent back. Whoâd love him the way he loves. Because for a long time he was the only one who gave, in their relationship. It was just a matter of time until he grew tired and say fuck it. I guess you made it just easier for him.
âMr Kim challenged his daughter to try and prevent it from happening. And if that ever happened itâd cause chaosâexactly like how itâs now. He was ready to consider that as a family disgrace, when that happened. Consider that Liya caused that disgrace andâŚthere he got a reason to disown the daughter he couldnât get rid of. There he has a reason to forfeit her inheritance to his fortune.âÂ
Your mouth goes dry. It becomes a struggle to find the words. âFuck, so she played Jimin?â
âKind of yes.â
No. Not kind of. She definitely did. And you have to let Jimin know.Â
âI think she underestimated the situation. She didnât try hard enough to keep him. She thought whatever was going on between you would stop once he got tired of your young pussy.â You cringe visibly. Seoyeon doesnât. âShe thought Jimin wouldnât be stupid enough to lose his business, status, and wealth just forâŚâ She gestures at you. You clench your jaw so hard that your entire face starts aching. Only if she wasnât heartbroken. âGuess she was wrong, after all. Maybe⌠you have a magic pussy.â Seoyeon lulls. Reminds you that sheâs drunk. The only reason why she just untangled a whole mess of a yarn of dirty history, in front of you. You out of all people. âAnd maybe that magic pussy is so pregnant.â She snorts.Â
Just like that the earlier chill engulfs your body again.Â
Fuck her for being able to mess with your mind that way!
âMy life is so miserable, girl. So fucking miserable. Our lives are miserable.â She picks up her glass of wine again. Before you can speak or say anything she trudges toward the door. âGet that pregnancy test.â Says one last time as she disappears through the door. Leaving a stunned you behind. Not exactly knowing what to do or where to go.Â
There is so much information.Â
When did you have your last period?Â
You donât know.
Why canât you recall it?Â
Your mind feels foggy. Hazy.
Youâve been so nauseous the past few weeks. Youâve been so sensitive to smell.Â
You canât breathe properly.
PregnancyâŚ.pregnantâŚ
Both of your hands unconsciously grab your stomach.Â
Could it be? Could you be?
NoâŚOh, god no⌠That canât be⌠But what if itâs true? What if itâs true and you let Jimin know andâ
âSpring roll?â You snap your eyes toward Jimin, whoâs now standing in the middle of the womenâs rest room. âWhat happened? What got you so long? What did she say?â He dashes to you. âI swear to godââ
âOh, câmonâŚcalm down, Park. Iâm fine.â You roll your eyes. Forcing yourself to smile. You donât know what to tell him. Youâll surely tell him. Everything Seoyoen told you. How he was wrong to believe that he doesnât deserve what he achieved. How wrong he was to think he was a loser. But not her first and last few words. At least not yet. Not when you donât know how to say that to him. Not when it canât be true. No. Of course, not. Itâs not true. Seoyeon had been messing with you. She wanted to hurt you. She told you that much herself.Â
âAre you sure?â Jiminâs voice reaches you from a distance.Â
What would he do if you told him? Be mad?Â
No⌠thereâs nothing to tell. You have to stay calm. No need to panic. Because itâs not possible.Â
âYes.â You breathe. Shuffle his hands from your body just so you can curl your arms around his neck. âIâm a big girl, you know. I can handle myself.â
He says nothing. Despite your effort to lighten up the mood. Ease the tensionâwhich is mainly coiling inside you, Jimin stays serious. Frowning. You rise to your tippy toes. Peck his pillowy lips. Once. Twice. Thrice. Until the lines of worry etching into his features slowly vanishes. He sighs.Â
âI know you can, Spring Roll. But sometimes I just worryâbecause Iââ
âI know the feeling.â You save him from the trouble.Â
He nods. âI just love you.â Mumbles as his hands graze over your hips. You push yourself to the warmth of his body. Disregard the fact that youâre in a womenâs restroom and nobody would be happy to see a man inside. No matter how ethereal he looks. You gape at him. Contours of his face. Slope of his nose. Amber eyes. Soft pink lips. A soft smile spreads across his face, turning those amber eyes to half moons.Â
Isnât he the most beautiful man youâve ever seen?
A warmth shoots through your veins. Comfortable. Relaxing. The most relaxed youâve felt for the past few weeks.Â
âI love you more.â You whisper back, finding itâs easy to push back your worries away when youâre in his arms. Jimin responds to your words with a grin. A grin so wide that you canât help but grin as a fool as well. He steals that grin with a kiss. Not a peck but a sensual languid kiss. Tongue dancing with yours and teeth grazing over your lips. A kiss that leaves you breathless when he pulls away. You sigh into his mouth when he does. âThis party is boring, isnât it?â Whimper against his breath.Â
Jimin gasps. âJ would be heart broken if you say that to her.âÂ
âSheâd understand the situation when she sees your boner.â You push your hips onto his for more emphasis. Jimin hisses. Yet nurses his expression into a lazy calmness.Â
âAh, thatâs nothing. Itâll go away.âÂ
Asshole.
You donât let your face show any disappointment as you withdraw from him in a blink. âWhatever you wish, Park.â Turns around your heel and almost leaves when he grabs your arm and yanks you back. Arms wrapping around you instantly. Tight. You break into a fit of giggles.Â
âMy place?â Is all he asks. You take your time. After everything, it still feels wrong to do anything inside their once shared apartment. Even when Liya has moved out following their breakup. But then again, youâve done worse in that place.Â
You nod, muffling a moan as Jimin nibbles the skin under your ear.Â
As long as youâre with him, itâll all be okay.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
Silk bedsheet rumples beneath your palms. Your whiny moans fill the quiet apartment. Your back arches, pressing your perked nipples more into Jiminâs naked chest. Itâs hot. Youâre both covered in sweat. You donât know how long heâs been rocking you into his mattress. Too long, probably. Too long that your brain has already turned into mush. All you can think about is pleasure.Â
Pleasure that is leaking down between your legs while Jiminâs hard length pumps in and out of you. Pleasure that is coiling inside your lower stomach and makes your core throb. Pleasure that makes your sight hazy and makes you think only about Park Jimin.
This is what you wanted. This is the distraction you needed. Not just the sex. No. Park Jimin. Heâs what you needed. None of the worries that have been draining you out of your life comes into your mind. Not when you can feel every rigid vein of his cock dragging along your walls. Not when his angry tip is repeatedly nudging against your soft spot. Not when his hot tongue is lapping against one of your hardened nipples. You gasp for the hundredth time when he gently bites onÂ
âJiminâŚâ You whine, bucking your hips up. Heâs pleasuring you so well. Is fucking your brains empty. But still heâs going so slow. So torturously slow that this is nothing but a teasing. Like he always likes to do with you. Tease and tease until you canât take it anymore. Right now youâre reaching that limit. You canât endure this sweet torture anymore. âHarder pleaseâŚâ You beg. Probably the tenth time. He hasnât given you what you needed at all. Just lazy strokes that is enough to keep you in a constant haze of lust. Just dripping and dripping. Wanting more and more.
Jimin pops your perky nipple out of his mouth. Gaze at your face. Smirks. âNo.â Says sternly. âYouâre sick, love. I canât tire you more.â And he has an excuse. You know itâs not entirely a clever excuse but heâs actually worried. You can see that in his eyes, even through the teasing glint. But youâre no longer in any kind of discomfort. This is the best youâve felt in weeks.Â
âPleaseâŚâ
âNo baby, just take it, yeah?â
âI can-canâŚ.fuckâŚcan take it, JiminieâŚGo harder please.âÂ
âCan you now?â He raises a brow. Not changing his lazy strokes. âBut I donât want toââ
âOh fuck, please, please, pleaseâŚâ You cry out. Your efforts in trying to get him deeper in you with your lifting hips turn null. âI can take it, I promiseâŚJiminâŚoh please, I need moreâŚIâll be good, hm? So good for youâŚâ You blabber without knowing the insanity leaving your mouth. You just need to make him snap.Â
âFuck!â Jimin curses. âAre you that desperate?â Glint in his eyes dangerously brightens.Â
âYesâŚI-fuck it hurt, babyâŚI want you to go hardâŚ.pleaseâŚâ You whine with no care of the world about your words. âWant you to fuck hard. I want you toâŚâ You gulp, words slowly dying in your tongue. You have to contemplate whether you should say the next few words.Â
Apparently, Jimin thinks you should. He doesnât like that you hesitate. Not with him. âWhat do you want?â He halts his movements altogether. You cry out in complaint. He ignores that. âWhat do you want, Lil?âÂ
âUse me.â You blurt out before you lose the nerves. âI want you to use me. Fuck me so hard. Want you to fuck meââ Thatâs all it takes. You win. Jimin curses aloud. Closes his eyes for a second. As if looking for strength to go through this. Then he creates distance between your smushed bodies by shifting his weight to his hands.Â
âYeah? You want that? You want it hard? Like this?â He finally rams into you. Hard enough that your back leaves the bed. A shameful plea and a yes leaves your lips. âYeah? What if I give it to you even harder? Would you like that? Huh?âÂ
You blink through your pleasurable haze. Nod.Â
âFucking slut!!! Yeah you like that?â Jimin asks again, going into his knees this time. Push a hand behind your back to lift your hips with him, preventing his throbbing cock from slipping out from you. Shoves a pillow behind you even before you can comprehend it. Then bends you almost in half. Legs pushed towards your chest. âIs that it? Want me to use you? You got it, Princess.âÂ
He stays true to his words. Drives you into a frenzy. No more lazy, teasing strokes. Just a wild pounding that gets your back arching and eyes rolling with each thrust. His hands explore your curves now and then. Squeezes your tits or holds your by your throat. With the exact right amount of pleasurable pressure. And the sense of time evades you together with the sense of reality. You are nothing but a ragdoll he mounts onto by the time your third orgasm washes over you. Leaving you shaking, moaning and spilling tears.Â
âJiminâŚâ You cry out as he doesnât even slow down for a bit. Youâre surprised that he hasnât already manhandled you into five different positions. But you know the reason for him to keep you just laid down. Even through his merciless pounding you can feel the care. The worry. Can see it through the sex haze in his eyes.Â
âYeah?â He answers your call. You fail to perform any more words, making him smirk. âToo much already?â Teases. You whimper. Body shaking as you place a weak hand on his chest. Just to get him to slow down. Jimin clicks his tongue. Yanks your hand away. âNone of that now, baby. You asked me to use you. Huh? Didnât you?âÂ
Oh fuck!
Your lower abdomen starts to tighten pleasantly again. The oversensitivity turning into blinding pleasure.Â
âPlease.â You cry out. Not knowing exactly what youâre asking for. Jiminâs smirk widens.Â
âFuck, you need more slut? This isnât enough? Want to cream my cock again?âÂ
You donât know whether you said anything to that or nodded but Jiminâs thrust turns deeper. Harsher. His eyes scanning for any discomfort on your face all the while. He finds none.Â
âYeah? You want that?âÂ
âYesâŚgod yes⌠fuck, JiminâŚâ You spill more and more tears. Throat sore and mouth dry after all the moaning and screaming youâve done.Â
âFuck you look so fucking hot.â Jimin grumbles, bending down. Closing his face to yours. âSo fucking hot baby. Canât believe youâre mine.â Grunts. Beats a second staring into your eyes. Lost. Then tilts his face to the side. Tongue poking out. You gasp so loud when his tongue meets your skin. Licking away your tears. âMine.â Whispers. âArenât you baby?â Asks. You only manage to nod. âArenât.â A harsh thrust. You mewl. âYou?â Another harsh thrust. âWords, slut. Use your words.âÂ
âY-yesâŚfââ You choke on your words. âFuck⌠yes..âÂ
âYes what?âÂ
âYours. Iâm yours.âÂ
âYes!â He agrees, going even deeper if itâs possible. âMine. My pretty slut.âÂ
âYour pretty slut.â You babble. Feeling your abdomen tightening, preparing for another high. Jimin feels it too.Â
âLike that, princessâŚcum againâŚsqueeze my cock. Gonna fill you up okay⌠you want that donât you?â You canât fathom any more words at the moment. Hence your nod. âYeah? Want me to fill you up so good?âÂ
Another bob of your head.Â
âKeep you so full of me?âÂ
More and more nodding. Youâre going to fall over the edge. You claw at his back. Grinding your teeth together to keep your screams at bay.Â
âKnock you upâŚâ Jimin mumbles again. You almost nod without a care. Almost. Before an echo of a sweet feminine voice slams inside your mind.Â
âHave you taken a pregnancy test?âÂ
Pregnant.Â
You bothâJimin and youâliked the idea of breeding. A kink. Nothing more. But youâve acted like itâs serious. Real. Like youâre actually trying to get pregnant. How many times has he come inside you?Â
What if itâs become real?
Your body goes stiff. Stiff in a way you canât hide it by any means. Your body locks up. The impending orgasm and pleasure ebbing away into nothing. And Jimin halts. Immediately. Sensing and feeling every little difference in your body. Expression.Â
âLil? Fuck, whatâs wrong? Are you in pain?âÂ
His voice snaps you back into reality. He nearly withdraws from you when you hurry to keep him in his position.Â
What should you tell him?
The truth?
NoâŚno⌠thereâs nothing to tell. Heâd be so mad. So mad at you for being so irresponsible. It was you who had begged him to fuck you without protection all those months ago. True he had liked it and asked to cum inside you but you had reassured him many times that youâre on pills. If youâve messed up, then itâs completely your fault. Jimin isnât ready to face another problem. Youâre not ready to face another problem.Â
He has enough on his plate. You canât just add more worries to that list. Heâd be so disappointed.
Despite everything, you sometimes wonder what makes Jimin drawn to you. A young naive college girlâlike Seoyeon and Liya always says. Putting the sex aside, you wonder what makes him love you. He has everything. He has figured his life out when youâre nothing but a young mess. You canât see what he sees in you. And that scares you. A one mistake from you would be enough to make him realize that youâre not worth it. That he had been blind all this time because ofâlike Seoeyon saidâa good pussy. Nothing more.Â
And thisâŚthis could be that very mistake. Youâre not ready to lose him. Not now. Not ever.Â
âSpring Roll? Talk to me? Where-fuck-does it hurts?â Jimin cradles your cheek softly. You blink, forcing yourself to focus. Focus on the present. On him. âWhatâs wrong? Do you want me to stop?âÂ
You canât lose him.Â
âNoâŚâ You in the end, manage to blurt. A bit louder and rushed than you intended. âNo, keep going. I-Iâm fine. It was aâŚcramp. You know how it is.â Words taste like ashes in your mouth. Youâre lying. To the person you love the most. It makes you feel terrible. But what can you doâŚ
âOkayâŚâ Jimin drags. Unconvinced. He knows you after all. Yet he doesnât push you. He buys whatever bullshit you spew. âThen we should stop, Love. You donât have toââ
âNo, what? You didnât even come?âÂ
âSo what?â Jimin raises a stubborn brow. Challenging. You know he doesnât care about his pleasure. But you do. You snake your arms around his neck.
âI want you to cum.â Say softly. Jimin shakes his head.
âItâs fine, Lil. Weââ
âI need you to cum, Jimin.â Your voice comes out sternly. Good. âI need to feel you cumâŚinside me. Need to feel you filling me up, hm?â You start moving your hips. He has gone soft inside you. But your words paired with your movements get him stirring awake again. Slowly.
âSpring RollâŚâ He sighs. Frustrated.Â
âI promise Iâm fine, baby. Iâll use the word if itâs too much.â You whine. Like a toddler. âCâmonâŚfill me upâŚget me kno-knocked up.âÂ
Fuck!
This is scary. You donât want him to fill you up honestly. But heâll pick up the problem if you ask him otherwise. Besides, you are fine. Youâll be fine.Â
Jimin groans. Watches you carefully. For a second and two. Then curses. âFuck itâŚfineâŚbut weâre going slow.âÂ
You open your mouth to protest but one warning glare from him gets you closing your mouth back. Jimin removes the pillow from under you. Throws it away. Places his hands on either side of your head. âYouâd tell me though, wouldnât you?âÂ
âTell you what?â
âIf thereâs anything wrong. If thereâs anything that bothers you. You would tell me right, Princess?â His eyes are glinting with genuine concern. You feel awful. Like youâre a snake. Yet you donât know what else to say. So you nod. Give him a soft smile. Full of love. Fuck! Arenât you such a bitch.Â
Jimin mirrors your smile. Pecks your lips once. Then starts moving. Rocking. Gentle. Slow. Not teasing like earlier. Deep and hard enough to get you reeling and bring that edge closer to you again. Yet slow and gentle enough that it wonât tire you up. Or hurts you.
You let him. Let him take care of you. Slowly. Until your body trembles and you lose it one more time. Until his cock twitches inside you and he paints your insides with him.Â
And you pretend that youâre fine.Â
Completely and totally fine.
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
Youâre a mess. An utter mess. Every second and every minute of your life lately has been a constant spiral of being scared and not knowing what to do about it. Hell, youâve even started having nightmares. Some consisting of your family and Key. Some Jimin and an unborn baby. Yet you still havenât gotten that test. Simply because youâre scared. Scared of knowing the truth.Â
What you donât know canât hurt you, right?Â
Fuck, but not in this case. Every day you pass without knowing, confirming⌠is a day that makes it too late. ButâŚbutâŚwhat if it comes out positive? What are you ever going to do?Â
Jimin has been breathing down your neck for the past week. Youâve let him know everything Seoyoen has said. And it had gone as well as you had expected. Jimin had gone through a roller coaster of emotions. Anger, despair and ending up with a strange relief. A relief that he wasnâtâshouldnât beâfeeling that guilty for what he did.Â
You told him everything, of course, except for the part where she had asked you to take a pregnancy test. Itâs not easy. Lying to Jimin. But still, after more than a week since you talked with Seoyeon, you donât know how to tell him. Youâre still afraid of his reaction. That had left you with nothing but lies. Saying you were fine over and over again.Â
You know that you canât do this for much longer, though. Youâre not ready to know, yes, butâŚthere wonât be any other way around. Youâll have to know.Â
You clench and unclench your fingers while standing in front of the shelf filled with sanitary products. But your eyes are fixed on the various pregnancy tests that are assorted neatly next to them. Youâve wasted enough time. Youâre going to do this. Right? Yeah⌠you need toâhave to doâ
âWatcha looking at?â Jungkookâs sudden voice startles you so much that you yelp. Almost lose your balance. Jungkook jumps to save you from falling face down. He pulls you back on your feet before letting go.Â
âFuck, sorry. Didnât know you would be that fascinated with a packet of tampon to not hear me arriving.â He apologizes. Eyes crinkling up due to how hard he grins. You glare at him. You and he are on your weekly grocery trip, where you buy nothing necessary but end up spending your money anyway.
âI wasnât fascinated with a goddamn tampon. I was just⌠looking.âÂ
âYeah?â His eyes still gleam with amusement. âThis is exactly like that time at the cottage. You were so fascinated with a stupid soda can, remember?â Jungkook rushes to imitate you. Something heâd never let go. Had never shut up about. You hiss while Jungkook starts acting like a fucking comic with his mouth agape, eyes narrowed and bent down.Â
âFuck you, Jungkook.â You show him your middle finger. He sobers up.Â
âIf youâre done examining that,â He points at a random pack of tampons. âI found your pastaâŚso can we leave. I have a game to play. Imma beat Taehyungâs ass today one way or another.â He takes the trolley. Starts walking away. You trail behind him, one eye still fixed on the pregnancy tests.Â
You should buy it. You need to do this. Right?
Should you or should you not?
âUm, JungkookâŚâ You call out. He looks at you over his shoulder. âDo you remember me annoying your ass during my last period?âÂ
Jungkook halts, his mouth pursing. Then shrugs. âI donât know, but you probably did. It has become such a normal thing, I donât remember it anymore.â He shakes his head dramatically. Sad. As if you had made his life so miserable. You roll your eyes.
âCâmon, Iâm not always that pissy during my period, you must remember it if I did something.â
You wish that isnât the case. You wish Jungkook was right. You canât remember having your last period. But it can be due to the stress. Thereâs one way to find outâŚ
âYou are that pissy. Remember when you tried to bite my head off because I kept the volume of the damn tv at 18 instead of 17?âÂ
âThat was too fucking loud.â You huff. Following Jungkook toward the cashier. Wait patiently until he pays the bill. You want to believe him. Believe that the reason why you donât remember having your period is because it hadnât been anything special. But fuck you know you have such intense cramps. Youâd remember it. Jungkookâd remember it.Â
You missed your period. There could be many reasons but at the moment you can only think about one. You have to confirm.Â
âWait!â You come to an abrupt halt on your way back to the car. Jungkook, startled, stops in his way as well. You donât wait until he questions your sudden halt. âI think I should buy some pads. I donât think I have any left at home soâŚuhâŚgimme a second.â And you donât wait for any answer in return. Just as the words are out through your lips, you break into a sprint. Right back into the super market. Back to the aisle that had kept you transfixed.Â
You grab one of those hideous things. Then two. They say you need a second one. And a packet of pads for the display purposes.Â
Youâre doing this.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ.
You canât do this. You donât have the courage. How stupid? You had done everything as per instructed on the package and on the internet. But now, youâre scared of looking at the plastic strip lying on the bathroom counter.Â
Your legs are shaking. Mouth has gone so dry, you feel as if youâve eaten sand.Â
Fucking hell! You need to get your shit together.Â
Youâve come so far. Youâve bought the test, youâve taken it. All you have to do now is look at the results. Youâre going to be fineâŚ
Itâs going to be negative.Â
You force yourself to rise to your feet from the edge of the bathtub where youâve been sitting. Opposite side of the bathroom counter. Farthest you can get away from the hideous plastic thing on that counter, in this little space.Â
Ridiculous!
You take a step forward. Then another.
Itâs okay, itâll be negative.Â
Itâs going to be negative.
Another step. And another. One after one.Â
Please be negative, please be negative.Â
You scan your eyes over the plastic thingâŚ
Please be negâ
Two red lines!Â
Positive.Â
Wind gets knocked out of your lungs so hard that you gasp. Tumbling forward. You have to grip the counter so hard to stop yourself from dropping to the floor. The test is positive. The thing youâve been fearing so badly has come true.
Youâre pregnant!
Fuck, fuck, fuckâŚ.
What are you going to do? What can you do?Â
Would you tell Jimin? You have toâŚright? You canât keep it a secret forever. Oh you can already imagine the disappointment in his face. Heâs going to be so disappointed in you. AndâŚand what if he doesnât want to do anythingâŚ
No! Heâd never. You know him. Park Jimin. Your Park Jimin. He can be many things, but not that type of a bastard. ButâŚbut heâd still be disappointed and mad. Thisâll be his wake up call. Yes. Heâll realize how stupid it was to sacrifice almost everything for someone whoâs naive like you. A dumb college girl who doesnât even know how to be responsible about her own bodyâŚ
The grip you have on the counter turns steel, making your knuckles white.Â
Holy fuck!Â
You feel like throwing up again. You have to calm down. Get a grip. And think this through. Well, itâs just one test. They always recommend taking a second one. Because the first can be faulty. Yes. You should do that. Tomorrow. You should take the second test. Itâll come out negative. This all would be a horrible nightmare and youâd be fine.Â
Yeah, yeah, youâd be so fine.Â
For now youâll just leave this bathroom, have your dinner, pretend like everything is fine and then sleep. Come tomorrow morning, this nightmare will see an end.Â
You muster the strength to straighten up, grabbing the used test in your hand. Almost throw it inside the bin when a knock sounds on the bathroom door.Â
âNoona?â Jungkookâs voice follows the knock. âYou done?â
Oh, rightâyou forgot he was waiting for dinner. Itâs with guilt that you answer him. âY-yes.â You hate the way your voice comes out shaky. Apparently Jungkook doesnât pick up on that.Â
âHurry then, I have something for you.â
No⌠not now. Not today. This is the worst possible time to do this. Jungkook may bring you the moon and sun but youâll still feel awful tonight. You canât let him know that, however.Â
âO-okayâŚgimme a second.â You shout out. Dropping the test in your hand in the bin nearly when something rings in your brain. The ugly monster of anxiety digging its claws of what ifs, deep into your brain.Â
What if Jungkook finds this test?
What possible reason would he have to dig through the trash?
Who knows? There could be a reason. Like what if he dropped something important in the bin and had to go through it? What if he just noted it for no reason?
No. No, you canât have that. You know you have to tell Jimin this. Positive or not. But not yet. And you donât want anyone else finding out before that.Â
Fuck your stupid brain!Â
You shove the used test into your hoodie pocket as you walk over to the door.Â
Youâll discard the test somewhere else.Â
You crack open the door just for Jungkook to take advantage of it and barge inside. He immediately throws an arm around your shoulder and starts walking you out.Â
âWhere are we going?â You ask, confused.
âTo the restaurant.â Jungkook seems to be in a good mood. Is grinning wide.
âWhy?âÂ
âAh,â He purses his lips. That grin disappears, leaving something akin to guilt behind.Â
âJungkookâŚâ You call out for him in warning.Â
âItâs not me, I promise. Itâs JâŚshe wasnât happy that her last party was ruined andââ
âPlease tell me thereâs no party going on down there.â You stop. Frustrated. You canât do this tonight.Â
âIâm so sorry, Noona.âÂ
You sigh heavily, knowing that there would be no way around this. Youâll have to go down or theyâll come up here. âFine lemme change my clothes.â You turn around toward the bathroom again when Jungkook stops you.Â
âNo need. Itâs just us and you looking fucking gorgeous.âÂ
He grabs your arm. You try to protest but he drags you toward the door. Easily.Â
You have to throw away the pregnancy test.
But Jungkook doesnât give a fuck about your protests and little whimpers.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ..
Jimin stands up from his seat the moment you enter Kim's kitchen. Jungkook steps away from you, allowing Jimin to fill the space and gather you in his arms.Â
âHey Princess!â He kisses your brow first. Then pecks your lips. You relax in his arms a little bit. Not enough though. Not enough to forget the weight of what sits inside your pocket right at the moment. Certainly not enough to forget you might be pregnant. With his child. Yet you force yourself to smile against his lips.Â
âHello Mr CEOâŚâ You breathe. Scowl. âAre you sure you're the CEO? How come youâre always hanging out with us? Donât you have work?âÂ
âI am the CEOâŚthatâs exactly how Iâm here instead of working my ass off. Privileges.â Jimin wiggles his eyebrows.Â
âCorruption.â You correct him.Â
âWell can you blame me for wanting to check on my girl.â
âYour girl is doing just fine on her own. You donât have to babysit her.â What a lie.Â
âI also missed her.â Jimin outs. You open your mouth to remind him that he was with you yesterday as well when J grabs your attention.Â
âOkay you clowns,â She starts, pouring a white drink into assorted shot glasses in front of her. âI just want to get fucking wasted tonight. Just drink all right. And letâs please have a normal night.â She picks up twoâfilled to the brimâglasses and walks toward you and Jimin. âI donât want any drama. No breakups, proposals, engagement news, promotion news,â She stops in front of you. Eyes the room, ready to kill anyone whoâd say anything else. âNo anythingâŚdo you hear me? Even if someone has died, please wait until tomorrow to let us know. Imma fucking kill you myself if you ruin this night.â She shoves a glass in yours and Jiminâs hand.Â
âDo you realize some of us have work tomorrow?â Hoseok sniffs his drink, reminding everyone that itâs indeed a random Tuesday night and this would be a bad idea.Â
âSo what, old man?â J huffs. âYou canât go through one meeting with a simple headache? God, why are we hanging out with these gramps?âÂ
Yoongi snorts. Cracks open a new beer can. âAgreed.â Says before taking a generous sip of the beer. You know he just wants to piss Hoseok off. And he succeeds when Hoseok starts scowling and rambling about how important his job is.Â
You glance at your drink, ignoring the conversation in the room. You bring the glass toward your lips before catching yourself. You canât drink, can you? You might be pregnant. And you donât know what youâre going to do. Have no idea about the next step. But still, drinking might not be good. You slowly take the glass away from you.Â
âAll good?â Jimin worries from next to you. Eyes watching you like a hawk. Heâs been asking that question ever since that night. After youâve gone stiff mid sex. Youâve been telling him the same lie. Even though the burn, the guilt gets renewed every time. Youâve been lying to almost every person in your life lately, but when it comes to JiminâŚevery single word that leaves your mouth to deceive him, feels like molting lava on your tongue. Yet you do it again.Â
âIâm fine, Park.â You roll your eyes. Itâs not that easy to convince Jimin, however. He keeps checking on your face. So you sigh. âI just donât want to drink.â You glance at your drink. âI-I donât feel likeââ
Jimin takes a glass from your hand, not even letting you finish whatever you are saying. âThen you donât have to drink. Donât drink.â He brings your glass to his lips as you watch. Downs it in one go. Scrunches up his face.Â
âWhat the fuck is this?â Asks from Seoyoeon as he finally makes it toward the large table in the middle. You follow him. Pouting. Heâs sweet. Park Jimin in love is something entirely else. And youâd lose it if he knew the truth.Â
Itâs a battle inside you to not clench your fists as you step toward the empty seat next to the one Jimin claims. Only for you to halt abruptly when Jimin grabs your elbow. You yelp in surprise at the sudden movement as he yanks you to him. To his lap. Your brain takes a second to process whatâs happening before you half-turn on his lap to face him. Blushing.Â
âWhat the fuck, Park.â You demand, scowling through your stupid blushing. Jiminâs face, however, is the picture of pure innocence. He blinks at you.Â
âWhat?â Asks in surprise.Â
âWhat are you doing?â You lower your voice. Wiggling in his hold while Jimin manhandles you in his lap to sit properly. Facing the table and others.Â
âIâm keeping my baby close.â He answers you as if itâs the most obvious thing in the world. You try to remind him that your friends are here. But fail. Miserably. His lips on your neck distract you, making you thrash in his hold. Soon breaking into a giggle as well. Yet he doesnât stop. Keeps peppering your skin with little, sweet kisses until J yells across from the kitchen.Â
âYah!â Jimin stops and pays attention to the now furious woman whoâs glaring at both of you. âI said no drama for fucks sake. And that includes no fucking in front of your friends. No live porn. Thank you.âÂ
âWhy would you have to ruin that?â Taehyung whines. Pouts at J. Youâve had the pleasure of seeing him a couple times after his breakup. And youâve witnessed how he turned better, and more himself each day. Youâre glad. So glad. âThat wouldâve been fun to watch.âÂ
âFuck!â Jin curses, rubbing his forehead, being the one who gets most shy about such topics. âSpeak for yourself Kim TaehyungâŚnobody wants to see them having sex.â Taehyung shows him a vulgar hand sign. Jin ignores him. His attention fully lands on J who places a drink in front of him. It seems theyâre not on good terms yet. But you swear that J lingers behind Jin for an extra minute and makes eye contact. Reads the longing in the older manâs eyes. Maybe tonight will be the night they have make up sex. You grin to yourself at the thought.Â
âNo but seriously TaeâŚâ Namjoon quips, seemingly being done complaining how everyone, yet again, is taking advantage of his friendship and the restaurant. âItâs totally fine to be a voyeur but Jimin? ManâŚ.â He shakes his head. âPick someone elseâŚIsnât Jimin like a brother to you?âÂ
Jin almost nods in agreement when Taehyung smacks his lips after taking a sip of the drink and shakes his head. âThisâwatching him fuck is totally nothing. Weâve done farââ
âKim Taehyung!â Jimin shouts so loud that wince. He yet again interrupts the juicy story Taehyung once tried to tell you. During the camp. You turn around in Jiminâs lap, having your mind set to be perched on his lap for the entire night and giving up on fighting.Â
âOkay, now I really want to know what you did, Park. Youâre telling me that story one of these days.â You give him a look.Â
Jimin pouts. âBut thereâs nothing to say.â Whines.Â
âBut there isâŚâ Taehyung ignores Jiminâs glare as he speaks to you. âBecause you said you love me, Li, Iâm going to tell you the story one day.âÂ
You both ignore Jiminâs empty threats.Â
âŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚâŚ
Despite your strong belief that nothing would be able to distract you tonight from whatâs inside your pocket, you find yourself thoroughly enjoying the night, by the time midnight rolls around. You find yourself bursting out in laughter. Not giggling. Not chuckling. Not grinning. But laughing. Laughing until tears escape your eyes and you canât breathe. The plastic thing inside your pocket has gone far, far back in your mind that you nearly forget its existence.Â
Youâve been having a good time. The best youâve had after so long. Even take part in silly drunken games your friends play which they abandon rather quickly. And all the while still sitting on Jiminâs lap and occasionally scolding him when his touches turn a bit too tender. Not innocent. Or maybe not occasionally but all the damn time.Â
Like at the moment. Your laughterâwhich is directed at Jungkookâs impressive imitation of one of his professorâsâdies out immediately when you feel the hand on your thigh inching higher. Angling toward the inner side of your thigh. A tender, teasing touch that gets your toes curling inside your shoes. Your own hand shoots down to grab Jiminâs before he can proceed any farther.Â
âI swear to god, Park JiminâŚâ You hiss, trying your best to take a look at his face. He squeezes your thigh. You bite your tongue so you wonât make any embarrassing noises.Â
âWhat are you gonna do?â Jimin easily frees his hand from your hold. Wastes no time as he snakes his hand inside your hoodie, touching your bare waist.Â
âGod, youâre such a horny, littleâŚâ You whisper yell. His movements halt. Eyes going a bit wider.Â
âMe?â He gasps. âItâs not my fault that you canât handle a simple touch from me, woman.â Smirks. âI mean I knew you were obsessed with me, but this much.â Shakes his head smugly. You glare at him enough to burn him down to ashes. Maybe heâs right. No, not maybe, heâs definitely right. A single simple touch from him is enough to get you squeezing your thighs and melting on the spot. But you wonât stroke his ego. Besides, who you two would be without the good old bantering.Â
âOh, yes.â You roll your eyes. âAnd you know what?â Raise your brow. Jimin mimics your action. Challenging. âI should move to a different seat since I canât control myself around you. We should respect Jâs rules, after all.â With that you rise to your feet. Fast. For a moment you think you win. Yet in the next youâre being pulled back into his lap.Â
âFuck,â Jimin curses above your squealing and giggles. âSorry, sorry. My bad.â He pants, trying to hold you in his lap.Â
âToo late.â You thrash and wiggle in his hold. Try to escape one more time. For a second time. On the third you manage to get to your feet again. Just for a brief second. Jimin curls one of his arms around your abdomen as he yanks you to his body, and shoves the other one inside your hoodie pocket. Not on purpose. No. You know itâs an accident. Your unsuspecting, slow brain takes a millisecond to remember whatâs inside. When you do, you stop your thrashing immediately. A warning alarm ringing inside your head.Â
It all happens too fast. Or your body fails to keep up with your brain. Either way, youâre too late when you hurry to stop Jimin. By the time you grab his arm, he has retrieved his hand back out. With your secret placed prettily on his outstretched palm. You freeze. Jimin scowls at the white thing. Stares at it for too long.Â
Cold sweat starts to trickle down on your spine. Your heart beats a mile a minute. You watch as his smile disappears slowly. You watch as the confusion on his face morphs into realization. Understating.Â
Oh here you go.Â
You knew it wouldn't go well but this is not how youâve imagined it. You havenât imagined it at all.Â
Youâre so fucked.Â
A few more beats pass. And just as you think heâs about to say something, a second voice booms over your oblivious friends' chaos. âIs that a pregnancy test?âÂ
Both of your heads turn to Jungkook whoâs sitting next to your chair. Now, you love Jungkook. In your own way. You really do. But at this moment, you want nothing but to slap him across his goddamn handsome face. Because right as the words leave his mouth everyone falls into a deafening silence. You donât dare to look at anyone. Just sitting there on Jiminâs lap. Frozen. Yet you can feel the gazes on you. Your eyes start to burn, skin heating up. Embarrassing. This is.Â
Not like this. Not in front of everyone.Â
But of course, trouble doesnât come in solitary. You suck in a harsh breath when Taehyung whoâs been goofing with Jungkook peers over his shoulder at the test on Jiminâs palm. Youâre not even surprised when he slowly curses. âHoly shit! Are you fucking pregnant?âÂ
You scurry to your feet. Jimin doesnât stop you. His eyes avert from the test to you. Shocked. Surprised. Your heart plummets.Â
âIs that why you arenât drinking?â Taehyung muses again. Oh you can kill him. Both him and Jungkook. They need to shut up. You need to get away.Â
âGive it to me.â You ignore Taehyung, stretching your hand toward Jimin. He does nothing. Just gapes at your face. Then back the white thing in his hand.Â
âHoly fuck, thatâs why you were sick.â Taehyung keeps going. As if heâs a detective cracking the last bit of his unsolvable case.Â
âGive it back to me, Jimin.â You demand again. Body slightly trembling. You need to go. Before Jimin comes to his senses and gets mad at you in front of everyone.
âYou werenât looking at the goddamn pads this morning, were you?â Jungkook joins in again. Drunk. So fucking drunk. Jimin turns to him this time. Eyes darting between you and him. Wondering. Thinking. Probably connecting dots. Adding two and two then getting a five.Â
Fuck. Fuck this. Fuck him.
âGive it back, Jimin.â You snap at last. Bend down and snatch the test from Jiminâs hand right as the first tear rolls down your cheek. You waste no time looking at your friends as you turn around your heel and walk over to the door as fast as you can. Skin burning up with embarrassment. Heart shattering with all the emotions. Fear. Guilt. And everything in between.Â
And the last voice you hear before you turn around the corner is Yoonaâs as she says, âYou three are fucking idiots.â Not Jiminâs. Not him calling after you.Â
Of course he wouldnât do that. Why would he do that?
........................................
1000 blocks thing is in affect here guys, so please continue reading using below link.
Hi! I absolutely love IAU and if I have to be honest, itâs one of the best fics Iâve ever read on this app. The writing is just so detailed, emotional and very, very amazing. I feel like I became connected to this fic in some way. Itâs definitely my all time favourite! đĽšđ Iâm just curious if youâre planning to continue it. Thank you in advance and for sharing such an awesome fic with us!!
Hi sweet peaâŚ. Oh Iâm sooo sooo sooooo sorry for taking this long to answer this ask. I hope youâll notice that Iâve answered this. I swear I wasnât ignoring you but life doesnât allow me enough time to do things that I like lately, such as answering such sweet asks.
Anyway, to answer your question, yes I am planning to continue it babes. IAU is my first baby and there is no way in hell that Iâd give up on it. In fact, Iâve finished writing the chapter 17 and am editing the last few parts. This one is long đđđ. By long I mean, longer than it should be. Like around 30k words. (My apologies in advance). So, itâs taking longer to edit and proofread. ButâŚ.if nothing goes wrong, I guess Iâd be able to upload it by the next week.
I hope youâre still here love and that youâll enjoy the chapter. And oh godsâŚ. Thank you so much for your sweet words. Iâm honored đđđâ¤ď¸ and blushing. You made my day. And thank you for reading as well lovely â¤ď¸đ¸
Thankyou for replying to my ask lovely â¤ď¸ I am happy I love u and your works đ
I love you too girly â¤ď¸â¤ď¸đđ. Donât thank me⌠Iâm sorry for taking so long to answer. Thank you so much love. I hope youâll keep reading my fics. Youâre so sweet đĽşâ¤ď¸