it’s pepi time

i’ve done many a heal, and there is many a growth to go (search “#pepi time” to skip the reblogs)

[pepsineedsj2o]

have a nice scroll :)

[pepsineedsj2o]

onto series 4 of my journey and this means big lesson number 4 is coming. sometimes i can gage what the lesson will be, but right now i'm so stuck. i always try to see tough decisions as one path being the easy thing, and the other being the right thing (thank you series 2) but i'm not sure how to navigate it when both options seem both right and wrong, and both options seem so easy and simultaneously so damn hard. i'll be interested to find out where this goes, i guess.

[pepsineedsj2o]

yeah so update the trick is to follow your heart

[pepsineedsj2o]

my desperation to do the right thing is gonna be the thing that destroys everything i love.

it’s that same desperation that granted me that love in the first place.

everything in moderation, i spose.

[pepsineedsj2o]

how do i keep doing this like deadass i will be so lost for so long, finally find the answer the hard way, then look at my notes or my tumblr and it’s like oh no i figured this out like 2 months ago i just like forgot i guess

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— Albert Camus, The Misunderstanding

[perfectfeelings]

“Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship you have.”

— Robert Holden

[kosmogrl]

[pepsineedsj2o]

tired of always wondering what i should do, this is the first time in forever im asking myself what i want to do. i trust in myself and that i can be a good person whilst still knowing and having what i want.

[pepsineedsj2o]

me when i remember my identity doesn’t have to fit one neat little box at a time and can in fact dart around everywhere and in fact that’s good because that’s what makes me unique yay

[pepsineedsj2o]

we’re just the stories we tell ourselves

[pepsineedsj2o]

my desperation to do the right thing is gonna be the thing that destroys everything i love.

it’s that same desperation that granted me that love in the first place.

everything in moderation, i spose.

[pepsineedsj2o]

and suddenly, as if the spell had worn off, it all came back.

[pepsineedsj2o]

it’s called solace for a reason.

[pepsineedsj2o]

my bus smells like somebody i used to know

i wish i knew who

[pepsineedsj2o]

i think if we mixed all the metaphors together —

excerpts from poems and stories and letters,

butterflies; stars in eyes; hearts like the weather,

we might finally answer the wordsmith’s dilemma.

thousands of years worth of words that could never

quite make sense of the soul’s most endured endeavour —

perhaps if we merge them, as though they were severed,

we might finally answer the wordsmith’s dilemma.

but what of the outcome? in attempts to detether,

become what we aim to avoid in our clever

alignments of syllables, stars, and forevers

find wordsmiths and romantics aligned in dilemma.

cliché amalgamations, blind pullings of levers

a work that no one would read whatsoever

when we find a solution: logical but white-feathered

do we think that would answer the wordsmith's dilemma?

[pepsineedsj2o]

i don’t listen to brown noise anymore,

and your voice — i don’t even remember how it sounds.

but if i heard either one again, i wonder,

would i still hear your tires coarse the ground?

[pepsineedsj2o]

i think i’ll fall asleep next to this blank page.

i suppose, in a way, i always do.

[pepsineedsj2o]

i take your picture.

candid, at first, but only at first.

i muse it’s not pretty — your words say you agree.

you say it’s not pretty — but i disagree.