Percontation Points

The percontation point (⸮): a reversed question mark later referred to as a rhetorical question mark.

[percontaion-points]

LAOUV chapters 1.6 & 1.7

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P: 5/28/26 M: 6/4/26

Chapter 1.6

3:01:14 p.m. and still no James. This is remarkable. For a millisecond, I think maybe he’s hurt. Maybe he went to the restroom between classes, slipped on someone’s misdirected piss, and knocked himself unconscious on the lip of the urinal. It could happen.

Look. I know that I’m the first to jump to the “dead in a ditch” thoughts if my friends are late. But holy cow. Did you ever stop to consider that James simply isn’t coming to class?

I look up from the phone and see James strolling into the classroom at 3:03:36 p.m. He’s smiling at us, but as he enters his face shifts, jutting out his chin and cocking one eyebrow into an impressively high arch. Greta groans. “Oh. Dear. Lord.” James’s normal gait disappears, too. He is now walking like his left hip is dislocated and swinging his right arm at an awkward angle. He swaggers past Ms. Finch’s podium and comes down the center aisle, nodding greetings at the gaping students all around him, even holding his hand up for Tobias Quartell to slap him five. […] After class, I walk silently beside Greta as she shreds James for his “asinine, embarrassing, culturally deplorable display of stupidity.”

I feel like Charlie’s emotional constipation is 100% a thing of his own invention. Because even Greta seems to have some semblance of normalcy about her.

“Seriously,” I call out, but the crowd has already swallowed him.

Chapter 1.6 summary: The next day in literature, Charlie is worried that he’s going to get lectured by Charlotte’s older sister for… checks notes touching girls without their permission. As he probably rightfully should. But Ms. Finch simply shows up and begins to read out loud from whatever novel that they’re doing in class. James also randomly shows up late… although he’s only 3 minutes late. He literally swaggers in, acting like he’s Mr. Cool, and high-fives some of his classmates. Ms. Finch completely ignores him. Mainly I’m confused what James’s end goal in all of this was. Like… Oh no! Not three minutes late to class!! But Ms. Finch does chide Charlie for looking at his phone during her lecture. And she politely reminds him that it’s school policy to put phones into bags during classes. She literally doesn’t even take it; she reminds him to put it away. That’s it. After class is over, although Greta does chew James out for whatever the fuck that was… He really feels like he’s on a roll. Again, I’m not sure what exactly that he proved with that, but sure dude. Whatever makes you happy, I guess. A bunch of other students rally around him, but Charlie still doesn’t really want anything to do with this.

Chapter 1.7

Dinner is at James’s house. He informed us at lunch that he’d put a pot roast in the slow cooker this morning. Who does that?

Do you think that food magically appears before him simply because he’s never personally witnessed his mother slaving away over a stove? Everybody fucking does this. Slow cookers are awesome.

Before I left for his place, I got a text from him asking if I’d pick up a fresh loaf of “nice, crusty bread—maybe sourdough?” I don’t know what that means…

How the fuck does this kid function on a daily basis? I get that he’s a child, but he’s also ready to graduate high school. His parents have done him such a massive disservice by treating him like this. And a huge disservice to the world for unleashing this emotional incompetent man-child onto the world.

“I’ve got a question.” “It’s called a nocturnal emission and it’s completely normal, Chucky.” “Grow up, Gret.” “You grow up,”

Are we… supposed to find this funny? Endearing? Because it’s honestly not. These characters are obnoxious as fuck-all.

Or maybe since James is supposed to be so giving, I’ll ask him first.

Chapter 1.7 summary: James had invited Charlie over for dinner, but asked him to swing by the store to buy sourdough bread. While there, struggling to know what “sourdough” is as if he arrived on planet earth YESTERDAY, he sees Charlotte in the next aisle. He goes over to talk to her, and she does show him where the actual bakery is with the sourdough… Although at least she does it super condescendingly by saying stuff like “you’re ice cold” and “getting warmer”. She then starts to ask about James. She seems kind of… disappointed to find out that James is in a relationship with Greta. But mainly because she was under the impression that James and Charlie were a thing. Like… Okay? An hour later, Charlie gets to James’s house, now knowing how to juggle lemons. That is not a euphemism: Charlotte taught him how to juggle. Why is beyond me, but sure. Edit from chapter 4.1: this is literally never mentioned again. Once there, he pulls Greta aside to ask how to know when a girl might like him. Greta tries, but apparently, this boy has never once bothered to actually ask her during their entire relationship. But then again, I think you could say that about Charlie and literally any social interaction. Anyway, when Charlie lets slip that this girl thought that he and James were in a relationship, Greta cracks up and goes to tell James about this.

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LAOUV chapters 1.4 & 1.5

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P: 5/27/26 M: 6/3/26

Chapter 1.4

“Charlie! You’re home.”

It only took four chapters for him to actually be named. See? I told you that Hanson wasn’t his forename. It’s his surname.

“Charlie! You’re home.” Her face floods with relief. “You have to meet Charlotte.”

Really? The author deadass named the main characters Charlie and Charlotte?

“She said I should call her Charley instead of Charlotte, and I said, ‘No, because, my brother’s name is Charlie and it would be weird.’ And she said, ‘Okay.’ So, I’m just calling her Charlotte.” Becca runs out of breath and stops. I take a second to drink in this other Charley…

feral screaming

It takes a few minutes after she leaves before I realize that she never told me how I might be useful to her.

Chapter 1.4 summary: When our main character gets home, he thinks that his little sister, Becca, is rummaging through the fridge. Becca sounds like him, but in miniature. Except that it’s not Becca, it’s the girl from the doughnut shop. Becca herself shows up, and finally introduces our male lead as Charlie. She goes on to explain that they were given a group project on the first day of class. Since Charlotte is new to the school, the teacher partnered her up with Becca. So that’s why she’s over there: to work on the project. Charlie then realises that Charlotte looks like his English teacher, and Charlotte agrees that Ms. Finch is her older sister. She says that Charlie attending Brighton is going to be “useful to her”. Rather than to actually have a conversation with her like a normal person, Charlie continue to put his foot in his mouth. He complains about her infinity-hope tattoo. As if he somehow didn’t learn his lesson the first time. Eventually, Becca drags Charlotte away. After she’s gone, Charlie realises he didn’t ask Charlotte what she meant by “you attending Brighton will be useful to me”.

Chapter 1.5

“You have to help me pull off at least a few stunts. What would Batman be without his Robin? Superman without Lois Lane?” “I’m a Marvel fan, dumbass. And did you just call me a girl?”

Ah-ah-ah! You don’t get to have comic books. Not only is it art, but it’s also literature as well! HYPOCRITES!! Mentions of interacting with literature and art: 1 Note from the future: and then I promptly forgot all about this. In my defence, Charlie doesn’t have any interests outside of maths and getting into MIT. His third interest is getting into Charlotte’s pants.

He’s number eleven [on the list of top students in the school], and not because he isn’t brilliant, but because he has other priorities that Greta and I don’t, like spending time with his sisters.

I said what I said about how not every genius has rock-bottom EQ and social skills. You can be intelligent without being a socially inept asshole.

“We’ve still got all year together.” “Yeah, man. A year is a long time,” I say, trying to be encouraging. “Twelve months, fifty-two weeks, three hundred sixty-five days, eight thousand seven hundred sixty hours—”

Except that they should know that a school year is a lot different than a regular year. And that most of their time is going to be eaten up with actual school.

I snort, and Greta raises a brow at me, daring me, as always, to challenge her. I stuff my trash in my lunch sack and mutter, “I’m no Boy Wonder.”

Chapter 1.5 summary: James begs Charlie to join his evil crusade against Ms. Finch. He tries to sway Charlie to his side by saying that Batman needs Robin. As if comparing Charlie to a side-kick is somehow going to convince him. Anyway, James gets kind of mopey about this being their last year together. The narration tries to make us care about James by saying that his dad died, and like… I kind of get it. But mainly, I’m already rooting for James to find better friends simply because Charlie is such an asshole. Charlie is mainly upset because he was called not only Robin, but then Lois Lane.

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Currently Reading...

Tumblr, wordpress, facebook, free on Patreon: Love and Other Unknown Variables Patreon for $1 a month: Kingdom of Flesh and Fire (Blood and Ash #2) Coming soon to youtube: Girl Online (Starting next Monday!!)

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P: 5/26/26 M: 6/2/26

Chapter 1.2

“What’d you think of that tattoo, Gret?” Greta turns away from the window, one ginger brow arched. “I think it’s none of our business.” “Yeah, but don’t you think that’s maybe an excessive amount of hope?” “Depends what you’re hoping for. Why do you care? And what was with that stellar display of social ineptitude back there?”

“What’s up with his social ineptitude”? Because literally nobody has ever sat him down and told him that it’s bad. He seems like the kind of person who would benefit from such a talk.

“How can you be hungry, J? You’ve eaten more calories than a cheerleader eats in a week.” “What cheerleader?” James says, pretending to look around for one. Brighton doesn’t have cheerleaders. We’d need sports teams to justify them. Mathletes don’t count, even if they think they do. “Show me the cheerleader?”

He does realise that it’s the concept of a cheerleader, and not a literal cheerleader standing right in front of him… right? Like how are smart people somehow all so fucking DUMB?

Not infinitely hopeful, of course. That’s just nonsense.

Chapter 1.2 summary: As they drive to school, our still kind of unnamed main character asks what Greta thought about the girl’s infinity-hope tattoo. Greta thinks that he was being weird, and for what? Unnamed then thinks about how it’s the first day of their last year of school. That he’s going to spend this year working on a mathematical proof that’ll get him noticed by some professor at MIT… And that proof will lead him to getting a Nobel Prize. Then Greta and her boyfriend, James, start talking about how James ate so many doughnuts, and that he’ll eat Greta’s doughnut, too. It’s about as stupid as you would imagine it to be.

Chapter 1.3

Two years ago, I took on too much—too many classes, mathletes team captain, a junior internship with the university physics department, and a shot at the national science fair.

So how is it that he’s in all of these groups, and literally not one single person pulled him aside and told him how to at least pretend to act like a real boy? I’m serious. Not all geniuses are socially inept. One of them should have told him that acting that way is unacceptable.

Two years ago, I took on too much—too many classes, mathletes team captain, a junior internship with the university physics department, and a shot at the national science fair. I failed an assignment in chemistry. I’d never failed before. My mind went a little berserk. I only remember pieces (which Dr. McCaulley, Greta’s psychologist mom, says is normal), but I was convinced I could work out the glitch in my chemistry experiment if I could give it one more try. Of course, in order to do that, I needed to break into Dr. Stormwhiler’s lab. It was one a.m., and I may have triggered an alarm when picking the lock on the disused gym door. Alone inside the school, I panicked and called Greta. Her mom called the police and met them here. Greta found me, catatonic by that time, in the storage room off one of the labs. If Greta hadn’t been there to pull me back from the edge, and tell me to stop being a whiny quitter, I’d have left school and given up on all my ambitions.

Are we actually going to talk about how he had an intense psychological break-down? No? Brush it under the rug like this is supposed to be a funny bit in a most decidedly unfunny novel? Okay. I mean, I kind of got the unfunny “humour” in this book on page one of chapter one. So I understand that the author also thinks that this is supposed to be funny. But at the same time… Not the author playing up a serious mental break-down like it’s a punchline. Kind of makes you worry about how the author is doing.

Our motto (yep, another plaque) is Aut viam inveniam aut faciam. Meaning, “I’ll either find a way or make one.” So, we’ve found a way to reduce the time we have to spend on things like poetry and literature by making the English teachers hate their jobs here.

Except that it’s not actually reducing the amount of time spent in literature. Which I’d like to remind you… Most state testing makes literature a mandatory subject. I had to pass a maths test, a reading test, and a writing test in order to graduate high school. And I’m certain most schools require the same. These are honestly the worst kind of people imaginable. People who think that they’re somehow better than the arts. I’m going to point and call out their behaviour every single time that they engage with it from here on out.

It’s a simple equation. No teacher = no English. No English = more time for things that matter. Like math.

That isn’t how any of that works at all. The subject must still be taught according to state guidelines. Regardless of if there’s a teacher there. The real funny thing this book could do would be to say “well guys, since you chased off yet another lit professor, none of you will be able to graduate on time. Have fun making up for your lost lit credit in summer school!” But then again, maybe if the school actually punished these little shithead students, none of whatever mess is about to unfold would have happened in the first place.

We take seats near the back of the English room. I study the bookshelves lining all four walls and crammed full of books. I don’t recognize any of the titles, which isn’t saying much.

It’s probably stuff like Moby Dick and Frankenstein. Which is kind of exactly what I’d expect from such an emotionally constipated moron.

Above the bookshelves are paintings. Big ones of trees with people laughing as they hang in the branches. Small ones of books stacked neatly. Tall paintings with stacks of books in the act of tumbling over. Forty-two paintings. They are all different, but the same.

Paintings? Or posters? Because who the fuck puts a goddamned painting in their lit classroom?

“I know what you all do with English teachers here at Brighton. I know,” she says, turning at the back of the classroom to be sure she has our attention. “And I say: Bring. It. On.”

Chapter 1.3 summary: So we continue on with our still unnamed protagonist’s moral superiority complex. They attend this fancy maths school, and somehow think that they’re better than literature and the English department. That they’ve, and I quote, chased away every single English professor like the cursed DADA spot in Harry Potter. That there’s a new professor in the spot this year, and they completely plan to do the same to her as well. When they get into their shared lit class, they’re all kind of upset with the thought that this professor is late. Like how dare she be human! JAIL, FOR A THOUSAND YEARS!! When she does come in, she’s covered in spilt coffee and kind of seems to be an absolute mess. She does however state that she’s aware that the students have chased off the other lit teachers, and she welcomes the challenge.

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New Promo! 50% off all services!

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Love and Other Unknown Variables chapters 1.0 & 1.1

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P: 5/25/26 M: 6/1/26

Chapter 1.0

Beginnings are tricky things. I’ve been staring at this blank page for forty seven minutes. It is infinite with possibilities. Once I begin, they diminish. Scientifically, I know beginnings don’t exist. The world is made of energy, which is neither created nor destroyed. Everything she is was here before me. Everything she was will always remain. Her existence touches both my past and my future at one point—infinity. Lifelines aren’t lines at all. They’re more like circles. It’s safe to start anywhere and the story will curve its way back to the starting point. Eventually. In other words, it doesn’t matter where I begin. It doesn’t change the end.

Chapter 1.0: (Because yes, we are apparently doing chapters like this…) This is literally the entire thing. It’s uh… Not exactly off to a great start.

Chapter 1.1

Geeks are popular these days. At least, popular culture says geeks are popular. If nerds are hip, then it shouldn’t be hard for me to meet a girl.

He will then proceed to show us that it’s not the “geek culture” that girls don’t like… It’s him. Edit from the future: HA.

I’m pretty sure I’m the error in each failed attempt at getting a girl’s attention. Scientifically, I should have removed myself from the equation, but instead, I kept changing the girl. Each experiment has led to similar conclusions.

Subject: Sara Lewis, fifth grade, Method: Hold her hand under the table during social studies, Result: Punched in the thigh.

Subject: Cara Whetherby, fifth grade, second semester, Method: Yawn and extend arm over her shoulder during Honor Roll Movie Night, Result: Elbowed in the gut.

Subject: Maria Castillo, sixth grade, Method: Kiss her after exiting the bus, Result: Kneed in the balls.

Nah dude, you’re the problem here. He keeps touching girls without their consent and then he’s surprised that they keep beating the shit out of him.

I’m tall and ropey with sandy blond hair so fine it’s like dandelion fluff— the kind of dork that no amount of pop culture can help.

Again, there’s somebody who is insanely attracted to that. But when you have a shitty personality… Girls can teach you how to dress better, and to make yourself look good. It’s a lot harder to fix this level of emotional stupidity.

I’d been counting the donuts in the racks (>480) when I noticed the small tattoo on the neck of the girl in front of me. It’s a symbol—infinity. There’s a cursive word included in the bottom of one of the loops, but I can’t read it because one of the girl’s short curls is in the way. Before I realize what I’m doing, I sweep away the hair at the nape of her neck. She shudders and spins around so fast that my hand is still midair. Flames of embarrassment lick at my earlobes, and I wonder if I should be shielding my man parts from inevitable physical brutality. “What’s your problem?” Her hand cups her neck, covering the tattoo. Her pale skin flushes and her pupils are black holes in the middle of wild blue seas, but since I’m not coughing up my nuts, I’m already doing better with this girl than any before. She’s waiting for me to explain. It takes too long to find words. She’s too beautiful with that raven-hued hair and those eyes. “I wanted to see your tattoo.” “So, ask next time.”

We’re literally on page three, and I already want to drop-kick this moron into the sun.

Greta McCaulley has been my best friend since our freshman year at Brighton. On the first day of Algebra II, Mr. Toppler held a math contest, like a spelling bee only better. I came in second, one question behind Greta. Since then, her red hair, opinions, and chewed-up cuticles have been a daily part of my life. She has a way of ignoring the stuff about me that makes others want to punch me.

“Ignoring the stuff about me that makes other want to punch me”. Pretty sure that’s the only way that he could ever get a friend: if you ignored literally every single aspect about this guy.

Result: No physical harm, but left doubting whether I’ll ever figure this relationship stuff out.

Chapter 1.1 summary: We meet our main character, who I think is named Hanson? Anyway, he’s a high IQ low EQ social loser who, BY HIS OWN ADMISSION ON PAGE ONE, has repeatedly grabbed girls, and doesn’t understand why they keep hitting him. He’s standing in line at a doughnut shop when he sees an infinity tattoo with the word “hope” on the neck of the girl/woman in front of him. Which he proceeds to touch. Because yeah. As if him touching the girls in his class wasn’t bad enough, he’s now progressing to touching random strangers in shops. As you can imagine, the girl is like “WTF if your problem, dude?” As I think anybody would. He gets his doughnuts, then flees outside to his singular friend, Greta. Greta kind of is like “bro, why would you touch her.” The girl comes out from the shop a moment later, so Hanson goes over to apologise. However… Oops. Here’s that low EQ again. Although he does apologise for having touched her, he randomly starts to lecture her about infinity. And doesn’t understand why she stalked away, even angrier at him. Ugh. I hate this already, and I’m glad it’s a stand-alone book.

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Young and Sweet, Only 17 Promo Event

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Big Fan chapter 22

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P: 5/24/26 M: 5/31/26

Chapter 22

“I’m sorry for getting so wrapped up in my own insecurities and fears that I made such a mess of this. I’ve been ashamed of myself, because people kept telling me that I should be. And I was dumb enough to believe them, and even dumber to think it meant I wasn’t allowed to be happy. Or didn’t deserve to be happy. I was trying to be so good that nobody could judge me. I thought maybe that way—” I have to laugh at myself. “Maybe that way, I would be infallible. Impenetrable.”

Again, I’d like to add that not once does even Maya place the blame on Cooper for ruining her life. This comes as an even bigger slap to the face after her conversation with Cassidy. Like they acknowledge that Cooper was a louse for doing that at all. He literally ruined Cassidy’s life. Yet nobody says shit about how he also ruined Maya’s life.

“All yours,” I promise him. “All yours.”

Chapter 22 summary: After leaving the coffee shop, Maya goes to the train station, buys a ticket for New York, and texts Charlie that she’d like to see him. He responds after a little bit. Once in New York, she goes to his place, where he obviously lets her in, since he gave her his address after all. Once inside, Maya begins to talk about all of her insecurities. And I get it, but not once during this moment does anybody actually acknowledge that the timing of all of this was also really fucking shit. That if they had simply waited, then none of this heartbreak would have happened. But, as I’m sure you guessed, Charlie almost immediately forgives her. He talks about how he saw her picture in Vogue, and when he met her in the restaurant for the first time, he knew he was done for. They promise each other that they’re too old for this “figuring shit out” stuff, and promise each other that the other can have as much as they want. The book ends on that note, but there is a sequel.

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Big Fan chapter 21

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P: 5/23/26 M: 5/30/26

Chapter 21

Then her face registers. Cassidy. The woman Cooper cheated with. […] Now, though, she’s thinner. Muted. Her face is bare, eyes dark-circled. She can barely meet my gaze.

Good. Homewrecking whores deserve every bad thing that happens to them.

“He is,” I say. But of course, he’s not a friend. He never was.

Chapter 21 summary: Maya goes back to DC, where she cocoons herself in her apartment for several days. Then when she finally emerges, she finds a package from Charlie. It’s a necklace, a bit of a bizarre note about how things could have been better, and a congratulations about Teresa’s win. Maya goes to a coffee shop, where she literally runs into the homewrecker who ruined her marriage, Cassidy. The woman begs Maya for one second of her time, and apologises for having done it. The woman is a mess, and she now understands that Cooper wasn’t worth it. Maya, in an act of kindness that I’m not sure that I would possess, offers to buy Cassidy a new coffee, and to sit down and talk. Basically, Cassidy’s life is in ruins now because of what she did. That there’s a lot of stigma for women in high-ranking positions… And it’s really easy for accusations of sexual favours to start flying. It happened to Maya, even if it wasn’t true. Except that Cassidy was stupid (a fact that she openly admits) and slept with a marriage guy she worked under anyway. She says that she’s going to move to the other side of the country, back in with her parents, and hope that this all goes away eventually. But it’s also worth noting that both women do put a lot of the blame on Cooper, who decided to not only cheat so publicly, but also do ruin the life of this young woman. Then, because this story is still about Maya and Charlie’s romance, Cassidy comments on the snake infinity symbol necklace that Charlie had given Maya. She can only think that Charlie “was never a friend”.

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Big Fan chapter 20

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P: 5/22/26 M: 5/29/26

Chapter 20

Election day dawns bright and frigid. […] But she’s never fully recommitted to UBI after backing off during the fundraiser. It’s still on her website, and she touts her “groundbreaking economic ideas” in speeches. But she never calls it by name anymore.

The way that my jaw remained firmly in place about this.

“I would love that,” I tell Teresa. I’m not sure what else there would be to say.

Chapter 20 summary: We skip over to election day. Teresa never brought up UBI again, although she kept talking about “economic ideas” in her speeches, so Maya was hopeful that it wasn’t completely off the table. As the day wore on, Maya eventually gave up trying to do literally anything productive and eventually began to scroll tiktok. Her FYP was heavily curated for Charlie, and she kept seeing video after video of his performance at the fundraiser event. However, one silver lining in all of this is that Charlie’s engagement with civics is that he’s convinced a lot of his fans to get into politics as well. Or at least to get out and vote. Eventually, Gabe came to find her, and they went to this “hurray, we won!” speech Teresa gives. Maya doesn’t exactly feel happy about this, but rather, actually pretty numb. Teresa says that so-and-so in New York was asking about Maya, and Maya agreed that Teresa should have them get in touch with one another. Maya figures that there’s nothing further to be done except to move on with her life at this point.

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Big Fan chapter 19

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P: 5/21/26 M: 5/28/26

Chapter 19

On Monday at the office, Teresa makes her excuses to me. UBI is still important to her; they just wanted to test a version of the speech without mentioning it explicitly. Her values are the same. She’s still planning on trying to get a pilot going when she’s elected. She’s so grateful for all of my help.

Works with a politician. Gets told empty promises, and treated like you’re somehow too stupid to understand.

I consider calling Kate, but I know exactly what she’ll say— to trust my gut. Leave if I feel like leaving! Which is so Kate, so California, and something I’m so not in the position to do. Besides, I didn’t handle it particularly well when Charlie suggested the same, and I don’t need to risk damaging another relationship. It’s September. Two more months. If I bail now, that’ll be its own story— that I’ve become a prima donna. Too emotional, too difficult to work with. That I’m not worth the trouble. Just wait it out. I repeat it like another mantra.

So she is staying because it’ll damage the reputation that Cooper already tarnished.

I wish I knew how to make it work. I’m sorry for pushing you too.

Chapter 19 summary: Some time passes. Teresa says a bunch of empty words and emptier promises about why she dropped the UBI thing. I don’t think that Maya is stupid enough to believe them. She does finally come out to say that the reason why she’s staying is because of her rock-bottom reputation… Which again, was ruined because of Cooper, and literally nothing that she herself did. She doesn’t know how to message Charlie, so she leaves it for a while. Then she does reach out, and tries not to fall to pieces when he doesn’t immediately respond. He messages her back the next day to apologise and say that he can’t do this entire non-commitment thing. Maya has a break-down in the bathroom of a coffee shop. Then she pulls herself together because she’s got work to do on Teresa’s campaign. In the office, she’s grabbed by Gabe on her way in. He remarks that she looks like absolute shit, then he pulls her into an empty office. He tells her that this is “simply work”, and comments that he lost his own long-term boyfriend because he threw himself into his work. Maya texts Charlie back to apologise for the way that she’s been treating him, and that she wanted to make things work between them too.

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Big Fan chapter 18

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P: 5/20/26 M: 5/27/26

Chapter 18

We head to a dive bar, the kind of place no one will be looking for former boy banders or disgraced politicos.

This is the part that’s really starting to grind my gears: MAYA IS A VICTIM OF COOPER’S CHEATING!! Yet everybody is treating her like she murdered the president or something!

“I thought we couldn’t.” I nod slowly, thoughtfully, but my intention is clear. “It would be better if we didn’t.” It feels so good to stop lying to him. To stop lying to myself. His bottom lip drops, just slightly, and I watch his breath catch. He leans forward and murmurs, “Better for who?” I’m honestly not sure anymore. Me? Teresa? Him? Nobody? Everybody?

Even if you ignore how shitty that Teresa has been treating Maya… A political campaign does eventually have an end-date. The fact that they can’t even wait until then is so frustrating to me.

“I know this is none of my business, but . . . if you want to leave the campaign, you can leave. You know that, right?” […] “You just . . .” he sighs. “You should be allowed to have a personal life.”

OH MY FUCKING GOD, THANK YOU!!

I let a tear slide down my cheek as he quietly lets himself out.

Chapter 18 summary: They go to a dive-bar so that they won’t be recognised. Charlie jokes about what he had to promise the other members of Mischief in order to convince them to join him in this. Then he gets serious, and starts to talk about how different the fame is this time around. That he did miss a lot of the stuff… even the stuff like hearing yourself on the radio. He then kind of hints that he’d like to have sex with her again. She tries to deny them again, but that doesn’t last for long. She takes him back to her apartment, where they do the deed. Once they’re finished, Charlie pointedly tells her that she’s entitled to have a personal life. But Maya is determined to hurt her own feelings by remaining with a woman who doesn’t value anything except for what she could do for Teresa… Which doesn’t involve having romantic feelings for a celebrity. Maya is quick to point out that while Charlie was approached for the Vogue article because he was famous, Maya did it as a good publicity stunt to help fix the reputation that Cooper ruined for her. Charlie then says that his alarm is set for 3 AM because he has a flight to catch, and that he should probably go back to his own hotel. Maya cries after he’s gone.

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Big Fan chapter 17

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P: 5/19/26 M: 5/26/26

Chapter 17

How am I doing? Frustrated. Exhausted. I got an LA Times reporter to agree to do a story centering UBI and featuring a mayoral candidate who ran on a similar platform in Stockton . . . only to have it fall through because Teresa couldn’t—wouldn’t?—make herself available for an interview.

I’m convinced that Teresa doesn’t actually want to be governor. But she doesn’t actually want to quit the campaign because of the sunk-cost fallacy.

“Oh, good,” Teresa says, instead of Hi or How are you? “Maya, they need you in the press room. The reporter from the Globe wants a plus-two.” “We’re at capacity.” We have been for months. Charlie got an up-and comer from his label—“the next Olivia Rodrigo”—to agree to play too, and then she went viral on TikTok. “You tell her that,” Teresa says firmly. This is a job for a press liaison—maybe a press liaison’s assistant. But it’s pretty clear that Teresa doesn’t want Charlie and me hanging out— we’re back in that place again, now that the new-car sheen of Charlie’s endorsement has worn off. “Of course,” I say.

Oh, sorry. Next time I won’t get celebrities to endorse you. Whoops, also sorry. There’s not going to be a next time the way that you’re crashing your own campaign.

Elise is also a big donor, and extremely skeptical about the direction I’ve taken the campaign. I highly doubt that she’s interested in anything I have to say. I brought Charlie here. I helped you, I think. But aside from our thirty-second exchange at dinner, Teresa treats me like I can’t be trusted to know what’s best for her—or my career.

At this point, Maya simply needs to leave. This bitch doesn’t trust her? HOW THE FUCK CAN TERESA TRUST MAYA WITH TERESA’S FUCKING POLITICAL CAREER IF TERESA CAN’T EVEN TRUST MAYA TO HANDLE A GODDAMNED GROWN-UP RELATIONSHIP?! Maya is a saint for putting up with all of this bullshit and job-related abuse.

It feels like forever before Teresa climbs on stage to give her stump speech. I consulted on the draft, and I’ve heard it so many times I could recite it from memory. So when we get to the “New Initiatives” section, I know what’s coming. I’m not afraid of big ideas, because big ideas lead to big changes. I’m talking about big ideas like universal preschool. Big ideas like starting a city bank. And big ideas like universal basic income. Except that’s not what Teresa says. She mentions the preschools. She calls out the city bank. And then she skips right over UBI. What. The. Fuck. I’ve been having my doubts about Teresa recently, but I never expected anything as public and blatant as dropping UBI from her speech without even telling me.

I can’t even pretend to be surprised anymore. Teresa has been shutting Maya out. Is Maya’s reputation as a campaign manager on the line here? Is that why she doesn’t and won’t quit when she’s clearly being shoved out of the picture?

I slip out as quietly as possible and make my way to the bathroom. I lock myself in the stall and lean my forehead against the cool metal door. It’s possible that she just forgot. It happens, sometimes. The candidate is on autopilot and jumps over a line without meaning to.

Girl, you don’t skip over an entire fucking talking point on accident. A single line, yes. Not a fucking campaign promise. It would be really funny if Charlie drops his endorsement after this because Teresa dropped the UBI promises.

The next song is “Sky at Night,” the new album’s second single, and the crowd eats it up, like they’ve been waiting for this as long as I have. I’m expecting him to close with a Mischief song—their debut single, a much beloved pop song called “Trouble Comes.” I’m not expecting the other three members of Mischief to walk out and join him on stage to do it.

Mm, yeah. No. This is more than this fucking bitch deserves. I’d also like to remind everybody that she’s running for governor of Massachusetts.

“Can’t we have just one drink first?”

Chapter 17 summary: Charlie finally comes back to play at another one of Teresa’s rallies. Although the two of them greet one another, and Maya shows him to the greenroom, it’s obvious that Teresa doesn’t want for them to be together, even in a professional context. I could get behind Teresa wanting for Charlie and Maya to be careful… But Teresa’s behaviour towards Maya in general is really starting to piss me off. She blows off interviews, and ignores emails simply because they’re from Maya. AKA her campaign manager… Who is doing all of this simply so that Teresa can be the governor! It’s not mentioned, but I’m pretty sure the reason why Maya doesn’t quit the campaign at this point is because it would further tarnish her already damaged reputation. (A reputation that was damaged because of Cooper’s bad behaviour, and had little to do with anything Maya did.) Anyway, Teresa sends Maya out to basically rub elbows with all of the rich donors, and kind of side-eyes her when Maya suggests that she should be doing something else. Then they all go inside and Teresa gives her speech. Except that she completely skips over the part about the UBI, which pisses Maya off something fierce. She goes to the bathroom to mope about it for a little bit, but only comes out when she hears them announce that Charlie is coming onto the stage. She might be angry at Teresa, but she’s not going to not watch Charlie perform! During the concert, the rest of Mischief comes out onto the stage, which surprises everybody. Although, as I said, having a mini reunion at a political rally for a politician who has been treating her campaign manager like absolute dogshit ain’t it. After the concert, Maya wants to go meet the rest of Mischief, but Teresa basically gives her busywork. Maya is seeing red at this point, since she really wanted to meet them. But after she’s done with the work, she goes into the greenroom since she’d left her purse in there. And Charlie is waiting for her. They joke that they should get drinks, but not right now, because Maya looks dead on her feet. But Maya complains that they should go get drinks anyway.

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Big Fan chapter 16

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P: 5/18/26 M: 5/25/26

Chapter 16

And despite our little breakthrough, Teresa is getting harder and harder to pin down as the campaign wears on. Which I know is par for the course with candidates—the closer we get to election day, the more there is for her to do. But combined with the numbers I see on my desk each week, I can’t help feeling like I’m being shut out, slowly but surely. Still want me to do the fundraiser though? Charlie asks after I text him from the office at 9:00 p.m., trying to see if I can nab Teresa in person, since she’s been ignoring my emails.

Wow. Simply wow. I seriously hope that she loses. This is not how you treat people who have been helping your campaign. What a self-absorbed asshole.

On top of trying to thread the UBI messaging just right, we’re also looking for opportunities to raise Teresa’s profile in general. Her opponent has been in politics since before she was born, so we’re fighting an uphill battle with name recognition, and I have plenty of hounding to do.

Mm, yeah. It’s time for age-limits for politics. You shouldn’t be campaigning against somebody who’s old enough to be your kid.

I feel needy, but when I wake up, I have a text from him: Good night.

Chapter 16 summary: Messaging Charlie after his Fallon interview reopened communications between them. They keep things friendly but light. However, it’s not really helping that Teresa seems to be cutting Maya out of her campaign. Which is real rich, considering that Maya is doing an awful lot of heavy-lifting for that bitch. Charlie was asking about doing another event for Teresa, but Maya literally doesn’t even know, because Teresa has been ignoring all and any attempts to communicate. But then Maya sends a text that’s a little too flirtatious. Charlie responds by complaining about a party that he’s being forced to attend for… whatever it is that he’s doing. A music tour, I guess, but I’m not really sure. That he wishes that she were there, “Because I could use the company.” He sends her a kind of sexy selfie. Maya responds by unbuttoning her shirt a little and taking her hair down to send a kind of sexy selfie in return.

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Katara and Sokka

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Big Fan chapter 16

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P: 5/18/26 M: 5/25/26

Chapter 16

And despite our little breakthrough, Teresa is getting harder and harder to pin down as the campaign wears on. Which I know is par for the course with candidates—the closer we get to election day, the more there is for her to do. But combined with the numbers I see on my desk each week, I can’t help feeling like I’m being shut out, slowly but surely. Still want me to do the fundraiser though? Charlie asks after I text him from the office at 9:00 p.m., trying to see if I can nab Teresa in person, since she’s been ignoring my emails.

Wow. Simply wow. I seriously hope that she loses. This is not how you treat people who have been helping your campaign. What a self-absorbed asshole.

On top of trying to thread the UBI messaging just right, we’re also looking for opportunities to raise Teresa’s profile in general. Her opponent has been in politics since before she was born, so we’re fighting an uphill battle with name recognition, and I have plenty of hounding to do.

Mm, yeah. It’s time for age-limits for politics. You shouldn’t be campaigning against somebody who’s old enough to be your kid.

I feel needy, but when I wake up, I have a text from him: Good night.

Chapter 16 summary: Messaging Charlie after his Fallon interview reopened communications between them. They keep things friendly but light. However, it’s not really helping that Teresa seems to be cutting Maya out of her campaign. Which is real rich, considering that Maya is doing an awful lot of heavy-lifting for that bitch. Charlie was asking about doing another event for Teresa, but Maya literally doesn’t even know, because Teresa has been ignoring all and any attempts to communicate. But then Maya sends a text that’s a little too flirtatious. Charlie responds by complaining about a party that he’s being forced to attend for… whatever it is that he’s doing. A music tour, I guess, but I’m not really sure. That he wishes that she were there, “Because I could use the company.” He sends her a kind of sexy selfie. Maya responds by unbuttoning her shirt a little and taking her hair down to send a kind of sexy selfie in return.

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