LAOUV chapters 1.6 & 1.7
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P: 5/28/26 M: 6/4/26
Chapter 1.6
3:01:14 p.m. and still no James. This is remarkable. For a millisecond, I think maybe heâs hurt. Maybe he went to the restroom between classes, slipped on someoneâs misdirected piss, and knocked himself unconscious on the lip of the urinal. It could happen.
Look. I know that Iâm the first to jump to the âdead in a ditchâ thoughts if my friends are late. But holy cow. Did you ever stop to consider that James simply isnât coming to class?
I look up from the phone and see James strolling into the classroom at 3:03:36 p.m. Heâs smiling at us, but as he enters his face shifts, jutting out his chin and cocking one eyebrow into an impressively high arch. Greta groans. âOh. Dear. Lord.â Jamesâs normal gait disappears, too. He is now walking like his left hip is dislocated and swinging his right arm at an awkward angle. He swaggers past Ms. Finchâs podium and comes down the center aisle, nodding greetings at the gaping students all around him, even holding his hand up for Tobias Quartell to slap him five. [âŚ] After class, I walk silently beside Greta as she shreds James for his âasinine, embarrassing, culturally deplorable display of stupidity.â
I feel like Charlieâs emotional constipation is 100% a thing of his own invention. Because even Greta seems to have some semblance of normalcy about her.
âSeriously,â I call out, but the crowd has already swallowed him.
Chapter 1.6 summary: The next day in literature, Charlie is worried that heâs going to get lectured by Charlotteâs older sister for⌠checks notes touching girls without their permission. As he probably rightfully should. But Ms. Finch simply shows up and begins to read out loud from whatever novel that theyâre doing in class. James also randomly shows up late⌠although heâs only 3 minutes late. He literally swaggers in, acting like heâs Mr. Cool, and high-fives some of his classmates. Ms. Finch completely ignores him. Mainly Iâm confused what Jamesâs end goal in all of this was. Like⌠Oh no! Not three minutes late to class!! But Ms. Finch does chide Charlie for looking at his phone during her lecture. And she politely reminds him that itâs school policy to put phones into bags during classes. She literally doesnât even take it; she reminds him to put it away. Thatâs it. After class is over, although Greta does chew James out for whatever the fuck that was⌠He really feels like heâs on a roll. Again, Iâm not sure what exactly that he proved with that, but sure dude. Whatever makes you happy, I guess. A bunch of other students rally around him, but Charlie still doesnât really want anything to do with this.
Chapter 1.7
Dinner is at Jamesâs house. He informed us at lunch that heâd put a pot roast in the slow cooker this morning. Who does that?
Do you think that food magically appears before him simply because heâs never personally witnessed his mother slaving away over a stove? Everybody fucking does this. Slow cookers are awesome.
Before I left for his place, I got a text from him asking if Iâd pick up a fresh loaf of ânice, crusty breadâmaybe sourdough?â I donât know what that meansâŚ
How the fuck does this kid function on a daily basis? I get that heâs a child, but heâs also ready to graduate high school. His parents have done him such a massive disservice by treating him like this. And a huge disservice to the world for unleashing this emotional incompetent man-child onto the world.
âIâve got a question.â âItâs called a nocturnal emission and itâs completely normal, Chucky.â âGrow up, Gret.â âYou grow up,â
Are we⌠supposed to find this funny? Endearing? Because itâs honestly not. These characters are obnoxious as fuck-all.
Or maybe since James is supposed to be so giving, Iâll ask him first.
Chapter 1.7 summary: James had invited Charlie over for dinner, but asked him to swing by the store to buy sourdough bread. While there, struggling to know what âsourdoughâ is as if he arrived on planet earth YESTERDAY, he sees Charlotte in the next aisle. He goes over to talk to her, and she does show him where the actual bakery is with the sourdough⌠Although at least she does it super condescendingly by saying stuff like âyouâre ice coldâ and âgetting warmerâ. She then starts to ask about James. She seems kind of⌠disappointed to find out that James is in a relationship with Greta. But mainly because she was under the impression that James and Charlie were a thing. Like⌠Okay? An hour later, Charlie gets to Jamesâs house, now knowing how to juggle lemons. That is not a euphemism: Charlotte taught him how to juggle. Why is beyond me, but sure. Edit from chapter 4.1: this is literally never mentioned again. Once there, he pulls Greta aside to ask how to know when a girl might like him. Greta tries, but apparently, this boy has never once bothered to actually ask her during their entire relationship. But then again, I think you could say that about Charlie and literally any social interaction. Anyway, when Charlie lets slip that this girl thought that he and James were in a relationship, Greta cracks up and goes to tell James about this.
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