Imperfect Perfections

Let me pet your dog.

[orcboxer]

got a crick in my neck and a frog in my throat and a chip on my shoulder and a stick up my ass and now you're gonna stand there puttin words in my mouth? haven't I been through enough?

[stella-draws-things]

[berryinnit]

t-shirt with the words “high-functioning corpse” printed on it

[7l7l7l7l7l7l7l7]

yall ever miss your own energy?? like damn wtf happened to me??

[circumgutter]

[paperandpencilsandskips]

The Magnanimous Airplane

[kawuli]

well, the ears dropped

[hochiminhts-deactivated20190916]

[futchcassidyandthecumdancekid]

​still genuinely might be the best own ive ever seen in my fucking life

[dragon-in-a-fez]

never going to be over that time I was trying to explain polyamory to my mum, and she said "I just don't understand how someone could be in love with two people at once" and I gave her my the-cognitive-dissonance-is-causing-me-physical-pain face and she said "what??" and I very quietly said "mother....you had an affair...."

[dougielombax]

Largest whale ‘graveyard’ discovered, with skeletons spanning 5 million years

The fossilized remains of more than 450 whales have amassed along a 750-mile-long stretch of the Indian Ocean floor

GRAVEWHALE!

A vast whale necropolis has been found

In the Indian Ocean, a deep-sea area roughly 1,200 kilometres long and 7 kilometres deep was found to harbour an ecological landmark site of

Okay seriously this is some fascinating shit.

And I don’t know shit about fossils, marine biology or ocean research.

Whale graveyard dating back five million years discovered

The Indian Ocean site is "far beyond anything we had imagined", one researcher says.

Fascinating stuff!

[perfectanomalies]

My spouse is playing GTA and is in a verbal (about to be physical) altercation with an NPC.

He maintains that his PC is gaining on them because she's wearing a Romper.

[byjove]

things not to say when someone tells you they’re having a baby, from a transgender autistic guy named Algernon who has experienced a lot of trial and error:

Why? I know this is the question you want to ask. You are not allowed to ask it. I’m not sure why it’s frowned upon but you can’t.

You should name it after me. Not funny. No one laughs. A selfish statement that takes the attention off the pregnant party and shifts it to you. This joke is a flop, save it for the next pet they get.

Is it mine? It’s not mine. I have no testicles. If there is a possibility it is yours, they’ll tell you. Probably. No one wants an interrogation in this moment.

[penandinkprincess]

truly few things instantly put me in a bad mood more than humidity

WHY is the fucking AIR out here TOUCHING ME

get OFF

[hungwy]

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

[hopeless-eccentric]

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

[dragon-in-a-fez]

my lawyer told me "you're very honest in a way that I'd want you to talk in mediation but not in court" and I wasn't sure what that meant until 10 minutes later when I, completely unprompted, referred to myself as a "pathological responsibility hoarder" and immediately was like oh, okay, I get it now

[dragon-in-a-fez]

well. we got exactly what we expected out of mediation. so

[darkandstormydolls]

I was talking to my mom about John Green today and I mentioned that “he’s still on tumblr” and she asked why that would be weird and I said that no one is on tumblr these days, “except him and I guess me”

So

I don’t know what all of you guys are doing here, because clearly this website is occupied only by me and John Green

[what-even-is-thiss]

I wonder if the milkman’s wife knows exactly what she’s getting into when she agrees to marry him

[what-even-is-thiss]

Oh okay

[daveedmee]

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured