twilight would be so much better if charlie swan was the chief firefighter instead
you know who actually shows up at savage animal attacks and gets shit done? firefighters, emts, and park rangers.
instead of threatening to shoot edward, he threatens to set him on fire, which has the actual ability to frighten a vampire
imagine charlie showing up to the airport in a firetruck to pick bella up
long 24-hour shifts overnight at the fire station so bella can try to fuck edward in peace without vampires or dads listening in
charlie could be on the scene after the wolves burn laurent and notices the weird smoke
and maybe something vaguely spooky and humanoid in the cinders?
the cullens and wolves have to plan around the fire safety response to a bunch of bonfires after the newborn fight in eclipse
charlie knows bella’s old ballet studio was burned by arsonists. but why? hmm…
he makes sure the cullens have plenty of fire extinguishers around the house after edward and bella get married, which endears him to them
he also taught bella how to make makeshift flamethrowers to convince her he was the cool parent (divorce, amirite), so like… try fucking with her when she has a can of hairspray and a bic lighter, victoria
imagine the cullens at the semi-annual “support our firefighters!” pancake breakfast choking down pancake after pancake because the fire department needs the cash and charlie wouldn’t accept their money without feeding them a hearty meal
oh yeah, fire chief charlie can cook because he and his coworkers take shifts cooking at the station and he’s not a helpless grown man who foists household duties on his teenage child
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