HAPPY BIRTHDAY @mongoose-bite!!! Crunchy is one of my favoritest fic authors and also one of the best friends I have made in this fandom! EVERYONE GO WISH HIM A HAPPY BIRTHDAY! And while youâre at it, go read and leave a comment on his fics! Iâm going to list twelve of my personal favorites below (altho I could go on and on and on until I run out of fics!). LONG POST TO FOLLOW!
A streak of bad luck leaves Eren desperate for cash, and desperate enough that making porn doesnât seem like such a terrible idea. Heâs young, heâs cute, heâs horny, and his favourite studio is currently hiring. It seems like fate up until he learns that his two most admired actors, whom he spent the majority of his teenage years appreciating, have recently retired.
Still, he is nothing if not determined, and he sets out to see if he can persuade them to make one last movie. And then he gets to know them as people, and things start getting complicated.
Reasons I like it: This is one of the first fics of crunchyâs I ever read and I was obsessedddd. I swear I would be checking my phone for an email on update day like >.> câmonnnnnn. Itâs eruriren and super persistent but adorable Eren. Erwin is charming and crunchyâs Levi is always so understated and muted it makes my heart ache. I donât even like porn star aus but crunchy always makes me love tropes and ships I donât usually like.Â
A Sound Like Breaking Glass
Eren lives by the ocean in a peaceful, untroubled world with his classmates. He studies, dreams of going out to sea on the boats to see what lies beyond the horizon, spends his afternoons by the waterâs edge with his friends, and sneaks out at night more often than he should.
His greatest ambition is to join the crew of the Wings of Freedom, but after making a disastrous first impression on Captain Levi, joining his company will be easier said than done. Despite the insults and the bruising, Eren is determined and he vows to do whatever it takes to impress the captain before the ship is out of drydock.
Reasons I like it: Ngl, it took me several attempts to get into this fic bc I at first thought it was going to be a pirate au? I have the worst reading comprehension I swear. But it is not, it is perfect and I love it and it is actually my absolute favoritest fic of crunchyâs so even though it is in the #2 spot here, second is best. :P The characters are charming and the scenery is beautiful and I canât say anything more about it without spoiling it. ;3 BUT AHHHHHH!!!
Breach! And Other Stories
A collection on one-shots written for Winmin Week 2014. Mostly canonverse.
01. Superior and Subordinate: Armin was conflicted. They were superior and subordinate after all, kept apart by rules and regulations and just plain common sense. But the heart wants what it wants, and it wasnât like there was much else that made Eren smile lately.
02. Stained Hands: Armin wasnât trying to wash away the blood with ink.
03. Alternate Universe: Erwin is too big for his umbrella.
04. Role Swap: Their first night together after Erwin is rescued.
05. Hurt and Comfort: Faded names remind Erwin of a boy he met long ago.
06. (Free Slot): Breach! Armin goes to the ends of the earth for an interview.
07. The End: Armin insisted on the hood.
Reasons I like it: you know how some fics can ruin you on a ship and you canât stand it? Well crunchy single handedly rescued winmin for me. I still think about Breach! A LOT. THE WHALES. WINMIN CUTENESS! ARMIN! ERWIN! BLONDE GENIUSES!Â
When Levi was a teenager, the unrequited love of his life was Eren, his best friendâs father. Fifteen years later, Levi finds himself back in Whitecrest Cove to sell his late uncleâs house.
This story was mostly written for Ereri Week 2015.
Reasons I like it: Imagine, itâs the swinging 2015âČs at the height of the the dilf!eren craze, in walks crunchy and suggestsâŠwhat ifâŠgdilf!Eren. Women are screaming, babies are crying, grown men walking around in a daze because their minds are so blown. No, but really, itâs actually a very poignant story of Levi reconciling his childhood and then grief as an adult and reconnecting with Eren who is a surfing silver fox. Itâs quite beautiful.Â
Harryâs brains dried in the hot Kentucky sun. A fly landed on an exposed piece of his skull for a few seconds and then buzzed off. His blood seeped into the dust. In the distance sirens began to wail, and the crisp, elegant click of patent leather oxfords on concrete drew to a halt beside his ruined corpse.
âOh dear,â someone said sadly, although Harry wasnât alive to hear it. He heard, saw, felt, and was, nothing.
Death is not another country. Death is the deep blue sea.
Or, the one in which Harry is officially dead, actually a wizard, occasionally a small dog, and utterly unable to keep his distance from his young successor.
Reasons I like it: This fic has everything, Harry Hart dead but kindof not dead. Suddenly a wizard. A femme fatale Italian milf sorceress. Eggsyâs cute lil butt. Magic. Itâs some impressive world building and I prefer it to the sequel we got instead.Â
Jean has recently joined MI6âs elite agents as 003 and he couldnât be happier. His career is going places, his degree is paid for, his job is exciting, if somewhat dangerous, and his handler is the beautiful Mikasa, whom he will definitely certainly ask out soon.
Until it isnât. Until Mikasa is replaced by Eren, who Jean quickly decides is absolutely the last person he wants talking in his ear when heâs getting shot at.
Reasons I like it: Well first of all I had to include this bc it was a bday present for me. :P I think this might be the only fic of crunchyâs Iâve read from Jeanâs perspective? And I love him. Heâs a cocky lil asshole and I still scream over this line:Â âHe couldnât believe how lucky heâd been to score Mikasa. Sheâd transferred from Foreign Office around the same time heâd been given his double-oh designation, and not only was she incredibly efficient, but she was absolutely gorgeous. Jean had seen an awful lot of movies and TV shows; he knew how this went. Sooner or later his roguish charm and devil-may-care attitude would thaw her icy exterior and the sex would be mindblowing.â HELP. IâM SCREAMING. Also it has SUPER SEXYÂ hairy Eren (because crunchy knows my kinks, shush).
An act of heroism sees an unusual offer made to one Eggsy Unwin; if he can get accepted he can go to Oxford, all expenses paid. All he has to do in return is pass his classes, and keep his mysterious benefactor informed as to his educational progress via the old-fashioned medium of the handwritten letter.
An AU loosely based on Daddy Long-Legs.
Reasons I like it: this is incredibly ambitious for a fic. Itâs all in epistolary form aka letters. Itâs quite an undertaking to write but the result makes it seem so effortless. Plus I like handsome benefactor from afar Harry.Â
Circumstance dictates that there must be a great distance between Eggsy Unwin and Lord Hart, but the seasons turn and bring them together, and seasons turn and pull them apart. Seasons always change. Circumstances must be acted on. A Regency AU.
Reasons I like it: Hartwin Regency AU? Need I say more? Also crunchy always writes the best frot scenes likeâŠif you want quality frot, look no further than crunchyâs fics.Â
Magic Does Not Make A Garden
Levi grows his garden peacefully on the edge of the desert, until the day he finds a boy with wings dying of exhaustion and takes him in.
Reasons I like it: Fuck this fic makes me wistful and teary eyed and hopeful all at once. King of crunchyâs short fics by far. I think about this fic nonstop. Itâs too short to spend time describing it, just read and be full of FEELINGS for the rest of the day.
Little ever changes in the Underworld, and few visit, but the arrival of a single songbird foretells a coming change for both the Underworld and its god, Eren.
Reasons I like it: Hades/Persephone AU!!!!!!!!! Except Levi is Persephone and likes to wrassle and is so full of life I love seeing him like this. Also crunchy describes Leviâs naked figure so beautifully in the water i started salivating and it was so powerful it inspired beautiful art of the heichou booty by syn (nsfw link).
The Hero Who Traveled To Faerie in Search of a Bride
The king is dead and in accordance with the custom all worthy aspirants to the crown must set out in search of a bride deserving of the throne. For one soldier, distinguished in battle, it was not enough to seek a princess among the neighbouring kingdoms, because for many years his heart had pulled him towards the distant spires and violet hills of Faerie, a land forbidden to mortals, for so few returnâŠ
Reasons I like it: sexy elf otabek with long hair :O and brave knight yura. I love the descriptions of the four courts and Victor is so goddamn perfect. The world building is sublime and everything feels so lush and perfect. ayaaaa to visit the fae for a dayâŠÂ
After the battle with Zarkon Shiro finds himself in an alien city, on an alien planet. Here Zarkon rules triumphant, the Black Lion tame under his hand, and Shiroâs own face appears on glowing billboards fifty feet high to advertise the arena fights as their reigning champion.
Shiro knows he has to get home because his universe needs him, but this universe just might need him more. He pins his hopes on the Blade of Marmora and learns that in this reality, Keith did not grow up on EarthâŠ
Written for the Sheith Big Bang 2017. Not season 3 compliant.
Reasons I like it: i got to beta this fic but honestly crunchy doesnât need beta-ing at all hahaha so it was a real treat to see it before anyone else. I love the alternate universe and the way itâs described so perfectly. Everything feels truly alien and you can feel Shiroâs loneliness. T_T And I love raised with the Blade Keith. Heâs extra feisty. Also bc the most recent season has confirmed that alternate realities exist this is canon and nothing you can say or do will convince me otherwise.
The galaxy might now be at peace, but Allura is not. A warrior without a war, a princess without a kingdom, she decides to tuck herself away for a while, take a well earned break and work out what to do with the rest of her life.
Earth is the obvious choice, the planet still coming to grips with a crowded universe but almost untouched by the recent war. Shiro organises a long holiday smoothly and swiftly, and it doesnât occur to Allura to ask if sheâs the only lonely alien heâs installed in the village of his childhood.
Reasons I like it: Okay i know, i picked 13, but that just goes to show you that iâm a liar. This fic has so many wonderful character analyses and I love how it shows Allura coming to grips with a war that has been won. And also Iâm a slut for good pussy eating scenes what can I say.Â
