A High Functioning Sociopath

Hi, I'm Melita. I live in Melbourne, Australia. My blog has way too many fandoms and I actually have no idea what it is. I'm sorry if you're on here.

[30-minute-memes]

[ruinedchildhood]

[sawsbvck]

primadonna girl……………………………………………………………………………………….

[sawsbvck]

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………yeah

[glassbonespaperskin]

😏

[egberts]

“Chain Fountain: as the chain flows out of the glass under the pull of gravity the beads don’t simply roll over the edge but instead arc up upward like a fountain. As each link is pulled and tilted upward the adjacent link is tilted downward and pressed into the pile- by Newton’s 3rd law the pile presses back pushing each bead upward into the air.”

[tastefullyoffensive]

Shadow Doodles by Vincent Bal

[drakburak]

[mullsteiger-deactivated20180112]

[america-n]

Insta- @blairsloan

[america-n]

Insta- @blairsloan

[killerkanye]

[scntrx-deactivated20191108]

[fuckgrandma]

if you didn’t have an avril lavigne phase, you’re a liar

[perksofbeingsherlock]

morning me: i really need to go to bed earlier :(

nighttime me: lmao @morning me fuKC YOUR nEEDS (•̀ᴗ•́)و ̑̑

[perksofbeingsherlock]

French Person: I've got four twenties, ten and nine problems and the way my language counts is one of them

[beben-eleben]

Simple But Clever Animal Comics By Shanghai Tango

[intlwatters47-deactivated202512]

These are puns These are visual puns

[feistyfrank]

this iconic pose

[4dr3n41ine]

please don’t cheat on anyone, they will never be the same. Aside from trauma you’ll affect their future relationships and cause them to develop severe trust issues against the people they come in contact with. It’s wrong and it’s evil and it’s not fair when someone looks at you with happiness and brightness in their eyes and you hurt them in ways they’d never hurt you.

[archive95205-blog]

today at work i let someone into a dressing room and they said “thanks” and half of me tried to say “you’re welcome” and the other half tried to say “no problem” and i ended up saying “your problem”

[lemonbraid-deactivated20130415]

[missmephisto]

this post had me in tears

[ghost-plot]

I was hoping the notes would be full of similar stories, but they’re not, so I’ll add my story for anyone else looking for more laughs:

I had to go to a library to pay a fee and I was practicing in the car between “I have to pay a fine” and “I have to pay a fee” and I walked in and firmly stated “I have to pee” and slapped a five dollar bill on the counter (the fee was like ten cents), and walked out. This was like three years ago and I still haven’t been back,

[greatestgoth]

My friend was driving and we were almost past our turnoff so I tried to say “quick” and “fast” at the same time and I ended up screaming “QUACK” which ended up with him judging me very hard and missing the turn

[hyrulian-verdant-ithil-tome]

My friend Jess and I went to Timmies late at night, and I was going to order a small hot chocolate, but I wanted to ask for an ice cube in it so I wouldn’t burn my tongue. I ended up asking for “one small ice cube please”, then laughing so hard I couldn’t finish ordering.

[shadowsheyla]

I used to work at a gas station and I would work days (7-3) and afternoons/nights (3-11) and i sometimes would mix up saying day and nights. Actually, no. I did it a lot. It got to the point where I mixeded the two words together. So…. instead of saying “have a nice day/night” I ended up saying “have a nice date.”

And Its catch that more but… well it stuck.

[nandalorian]

I once tried to order a piece of poppy seed cake at a bakery and asked for peepee seed cock instead.

Can’t win ‘em all.

[otahkoapisiakii]

When I was in high school one of my friends was telling me a really appalling story and I was suitably horrified and was so discombobulated that I got stuck between asserting “that’s hella gross!” And “that’s hella disgusting!” And ended up shouting “THAT’S HELLA GROSSGUSTING!” and I’ve used “grossgusting” in my vocabulary ever since

[juodaanviinaa]

I don’t even remember the context, but I was in some sort of conversation and I tried to express my amazement at their story, and got caught between “Good god!” and “Oh boy..” so I ended up saying, “GOOD BOY!”

[maverlok]

Working in retail, I went to tell a customer that his order was ‘up front’, except I switched halfway through to saying his order was ‘all set’.

It came out: ‘Your order is upset.’